Chaosclover1999 - Tumblr Blog

as some1 who discovered 1 day i literally couldn't learn past jnr high lvl and has morality ocd uh... THIS!

it is ableism to consider being unable to learn a concept--any concept--morally inferior. it is, fundamentally, ableism to see people who cannot read novels or theory or watch "serious adult" movies or participate in other forms of media consumption as less "good" than people who can. it is ableism to insist that it is aspirational to be intelligent.

if you see people who are unintelligent as lesser, in any way, that is ableist. hard pill to swallow for those who aren't developmentally disabled, i know. i don't want to coddle y'all about it anymore, though.

ok so idk jack shit abt ODD so idk anything abt what ppl r saying abt that specifically but im reblogging bc i needed 2 point out that im not a fan of how many ppl in the replies r saying "this is just a kid reacting 2 being in an abusive situation therefore it's not a disorder" like bro how do u think i developed ASPD?

idk man, just rubs me the wrong way that ppl assume that disorder = bad ig? like... tbh a lot of these symptoms remind me of me when i was younger and yeh that was me reacting 2 my situation as a kid and i now as an adult hav figured out i most likely hav ASPD and b4 some1 says "well if it was just u reacting 2 an abusive situation it shouldn't b classed as a disorder" c that's the thing im not in that situation anymore and it still is affecting me and it definitely is disabling 4 me

idk i think we just need 2 get rid of the idea that having a disorder is a person being bad and acknowledge that yes a kid just reacting 2 being abused in a typical way a kid would react 2 that can lead 2 having a disorder, tbh that's a pretty common cause of cluster b personality disorders but u guys wouldn't know that since ur 2 busy demonising us and pretending we're all abusers and serial killers

like okay if i were 2 do a break down of the symptoms of ODD:

- resentful, imma b real idk what this word even actually means so ignoring this

- easily annoyed, irritability can b an actual symptom of a few different things including anxiety and cluster b personality disorders

- argues w adults, this 1 is just sus af and i think the main thing ppl hav a problem w, like no karen lil timmy calling u out when u said some racist ass shit in ur history class is not him having a disorder

- loses temper, this is the same as easily annoyed, just say irritability

- blames others, shifting blame and inability 2 accept fault can b an actual disabling problem 4 some ppl, usually due 2 perfectionism and fear of not being good enough, this can become a problem that can however impact ability 2 function w others socially and also can affect omes sense of self worth in a sort of self fulfilling cycle thing (i can't afford 2 do wrong --> i did wrong but i can't acknowledge that bc that's terrifying and would make me bad in some way --> i hav 2 blame some1 else --> oh shit that was also me doing wrong --> i feel worse now --> ect)

- annoys ppl deliberately, yeh as some1 w ASPD this is basically just how i cope w being bored and how i make friends lol, getting into serious stuff tho (and this is smth i also do) it can also b a way of feeling more in control of a situation or 1s environment which could b potentially a symptom if its smth that they fall back on a lot of if it's their go 2 but mainly bc of it impacting social relationships ect and also the potential indication of paranoia

- defies rules or requests, so like i agree w the ppl who c this and say "so what? what r u a cop?" but also demand avoidance is a thing and so if it's a case of like they wanna do smth but they can't do it if it's asked of them bc it then feels like they r being controlled ect then yeah i can c that being a symptom but if it's just them not doing smth they don't wanna do then it could easily just b normal kid behaviour, could also b an inability 2 understand that doing smth they don't wanna do now would lead 2 a favourable result in the future tho, so like on it's own it could b completely benign but if it has specifics behind it it could b demand avoidance or inability of future planning, both of which can b disabling 4 the person

- spiteful, much like resentful im not even sure what this means, ppl just seem 2 throw this word around a lot 2 b shitty so im ignoring it bc wtf

so when we boil it down we hav

- irritability (but listed twice 4 some reason?)

- shifting blame (which could b a sign of perfectionism)

- annoys ppl deliberately (which could b a way of coping w boredom or a way of trying 2 gain some control over an environment in which they feel they don't hav control)

- demand avoidance (which is when u can't do a thing some1 asked u 2 do even if u actually want 2 do the thing) OR lack of future planning

so a lot of these symptoms line up w paranoia and specifically the feeling of being in an unsafe environment but acting in a way that could b disabling 4 the person that has it should this behaviour b consistent in a safer environment also no, school is not a "safer environment"

from what i can c it seems like the main argument ppl hav 4 pushing back on the idea of diagnosing a kid w smth (which im not saying ODD is a valid diagnosis btw, like i said idk jack shit abt it im just talking in general abt diagnosing w smth in general here) is "this is not the kid doing anything wrong" and "this is a result of environment" and "ppl r gonna treat the kid like shit bc of this" which like.... doesn't mean the kid doesn't hav a problem, it means that ur acknowledging that the kid isn't doing anything wrong and is reacting 2 their environment but u c a diagnosis as a punishment 4 "bad behaviour" idk, just rubs me the wrong way ig bc of ppl going "this is environment and the kid reacting in a way that is normal 2 react in an unsafe environment" but when i an adult w ASPD exist as some1 who developed ASPD from being a kid in an unsafe environment suddenly im apparently "serial killer coded" or whatever like... u know a kid can hav a disorder without it being that the kid did smth wrong right? and that it's fucked up in general that ppl w disorders r treated like they r doing smth wrong by having those disorders right?

I feel like ODD being an official disorder in the DSM should be the thing that makes everyone go “hm” about how psychology is practiced

took me a second to realise this meant like physical cash and not just money in general, but yeah going outside isn't much of an option 4 me due 2 disabilities so i mostly just order stuff online when i need smth

news article has a poll that asks when was the last time you used cash and i just. froze. i really don't remember when was the last time i used cash

would cure my fibromyalgia, would not cure anything else tho

so general political fandom opinion that is also kinda emotionally charged 4 me that i don't think a lot of ppl will agree w me on:

while it's generally understood that "race-bending" a character can b politically insensitive in certain contexts, e.g. making the only character in a show that's a racial minority white, or making a character POC 4 clout ect

i feel like we as adults need 2 acknowledge that the same can b said of gender-bending characters

[important: there is a difference between gender-bending a character vs headcanon-ing them as trans, trans hcs r not what this is abt]

there's a very concerning trend i've noticed lately, where ppl will take a fandom ship that's a mlm ship and gender-bend it into a wlw ship, or even just make art of the mlm ship but in the description say "lesbians" or "yuri" and omg don't get me started on the ppl i c calling mlm ships "yuri yaoi" 2 indicate a non-toxic mlm "yaoi" ship

u guys need 2 come off of the gender essentialism kool aid, i rly need u 2 get this thru ur thick fucking skulls

being a man is morally neutral

being a woman is morally neutral

being a man does not make some1 inherently bad or abusive

being a woman does not make some1 inherently better or remove any toxic traits

it's exactly that kind of mentality, the idea that being a man is inherently wrong or evil or perverse in some way, that kept me and many other transmascs in the closet 4 way longer than we would've been otherwise, that leaves us fearing ourselves, what lies beneath the facade of false womanhood, that leaves us unequipped 2 deal w the concept of loving ourselves and accepting ourselves completely

trans men ARE men and not just when you want to malgender them

transmascs ARE masc and not just when you want 2 use our masculinity against us

transmascs who see ourselves as "man-adjacent" are still hurt when u say this shit abt us and abt men even if they r men in a way that's different from us

also, gay men (and probably also bi and other groups of men who love men but i can't speak 2 that personally) , who are often accessorised by straight women (c "gay best friend") often hav 2 deal w being seen as an accessory 2 straight women and being expected 2 make our entire existence revolve around straight women while at the same time our love is seen as inherently toxic, the "logic" usually goes smth like "well men r inherently abusive and there's 2 men so that must mean they r just abusing each other in a circle right?" which obviously isn't how that works bc not all men r abusive bc abusive behaviour is not smth inherent 2 being a man

im so sick of wanting 2 look at an mlm ship 2 try 2 remind myself that it's okay that im like this and that i am the way i am only 2 c the tag flooded w gender-bend fanart or ppl calling these gay men "lesbians" 2 indicate that they r older than 25 or 2 indicate that they think the ship isn't toxic or worse, they say that the original ship is toxic, don't explain y other than "man inherently abusive" and then make a gender-bend of the ship and act like it's them "fixing" it

i am not inherently abusive 4 being a gay guy

i am not inherently abusive 4 being transmasc and "man-adjacent" as i would put it

i also am noticing ppl putting words like "lesbaians" or "yuri" in the description when they make more chaste mlm ship fanart like of cuddling or hand holding which like.... ew.... way 2 piss off 2 communities at once ig

i wasn't 2 mad abt the gender-bends at 1st but then i started 2 notice a pattern and i had 2 say smth

istg if i c 1 more person make gender-bend fanart of an mlm ship w the description being "fixed it" or another fucking piece of fanart that is of 2 men being cuddly and chaste and neither of these men identity as also being women and the description is "lesbaians" or "yuri" i am going 2 fucking scream

tumblr users stop taking popular mlm ships and then flooding the tags 4 them w wlw gender-bend fanart versions of those ships at the very least make ur own tag 4 it like idk "fem![character]xfem![character]" or "fem![ship name]" it's not ok when u invade our mlm ship tags 2 tell us u think our love is toxic or that it would b better if we were women, ur literally just invading our online spaces where we go 2 feel safe 2 tell us u don't like us, and 4 some of us, 2 tell us that u wish we never transitioned

just 2 b clear im not talking abt cases here where the characters in question r nonbinary in a way that means that they see themselves as both men and women and so ppl call it "yuri yaoi" bc the characters r both men and women at the same time, that's a whole different thing of ppl just having some cool stuff going on w their gender and not at all what this post is abt, it's also smth tho that i hav not seen nearly as much as what this post is abt and also i don't hav any experience w being nonbinary in that way so im gonna leave that topic 4 some1 who has a better understanding of that shit than me

political fandom opinion; billford edition

u guys realise when u say "bill was inherently abusive bc he's physically incapable abt caring abt ppl beyond what use he can get from them" that's an inherently ableist statement right?

u guys realise that when u make fun of ford 4 being paranoid ur being ableist right?

u guys realise that acting like bill needs 2 b abusive 4 ford's paranoia 2 b valid is inherently ableist and also just shitty and not how paranoia works right?

sucks bc i don't even dislike billford as a ship, i think it's rly interesting putting these fucked up lil guys under the microscope while i watch how they interact w each other, u guys r just doing it wrong

just 2 b clear im not even against ppl interpreting the ship as abusive bc of their opinions on stuff in the source material ect, i just can't stand it when ppl try 2 make it abusive or act like it's abusive just bc they r ableist

also don't ask me abt my own take on it bc i don't trust any of u guys enough 2 believe anything that i've seen online abt it so im waiting until i get a chance 2 read book of bill myself b4 i properly form an opinion on it

We need to stop saying stuff like “trans men/mascs go through everything cis women go through” as a counter to transandrophobes saying we don’t experience gendered oppression. Cis women are actually not the metric of gendered oppression, and by all measures, all trans people face greater gender related violence than cis women. Trans men/mascs are distinct from cis women and that heightens our oppression, it does not invalidate it. There are overlaps of experiences but in many ways it is important to talk about trans men/masc specific experiences (and all trans peoples experiences) so as to not treat a cis woman’s body/experience as the norm for what reproductive discrimination looks like. Trans men struggle to access safe reproductive care even in places that cis women don’t, and that’s only one example! Socially, economically, legally, cis women hold power over trans men/mascs and act as gatekeepers and police of gender for the cis patriarchy - trans men do not have that power to wield.

hey so since this is officially my political rant blog now ig i may as well kick things off w the most unhinged political topics

we as a society need 2 hav a serious conversation abt the resale and rental of actual haunted houses, like im not talking abt haunted house attractions af fairs n shit i mean like homes where there were documented cases of murder ect that can potentially lead to hauntings

now while i do personally believe that ghosts exist i don't think this is a topic that u should need 2 believe in the existence of ghosts in order 2 talk abt, bc the issue isn't just if hauntings are or are not real the issue is how it's handled in our society

this can be broken down into 2 main points that i hav

1) we as a society need 2 respect the dead more and the families of those grieving

2) we as a society need 2 stop putting marginalised ppl in positions where the only place they can afford 2 live in is a place that was the site of a previous murder

so yeah once again proving that everything is political ig, let's take this point by point

part 1) we as a society need 2 respect the dead and the families of those grieving more than we currently do

so in how this relates to haunted homes we need 2 hav a serious conversation abt how some of these actual homes that ppl were horrifically murdered in can often get turned into tourist attractions, which feels incredibly disrespectful? like can u imagine if 1 of ur family members got violently murdered and then some mf came up and bought the place and charged ppl an entry fee 2 c the spot where the dude's body hit the ground? like bro.... how is this considered acceptable behaviour is my question, i feel like that's something that most people can agree is kinda messed up even if u don't believe in ghosts and if u do it's like..... bro just let them vibe in their own home? like they got murdered let them vibe omg

part 2) we as a society need 2 stop putting marginalised ppl in positions where the only place they can afford 2 live in is 1 of these haunted homes

now this is smth i hav more experience w bc i actually did, unknowingly, live somewhere that was considered a very well known haunted area 4 where i live, now im not gonna get 2 in detail bc i don't wanna dox myself but basically it was an old widows home that was built by this rich guy who was trying 2 make himself look good in the papers or whatever, this house was divided into multiple different flats [or apartments if ur american] and it was disabled living, which basically means that it was exclusively 4 disabled ppl, it was also a tourist attraction, also i was not told that it was a tourist attraction when i agreed 2 move in, i was also not told abt it being believed 2 b haunted

now even if u don't believe in hauntings, i think there's still a conversation 2 b had there abt the ethics of of that, the building was not acessible, i don't even know if it was up 2 code since it was built b4 there was a code 2 follow, so why was this specific building used as the building 4 disabled only housing?

there was basically no sound proofing, there was no bath tub, i had a shower that wasn't in a proper shower unit it was just attached 2 the wall of the bathroom, the floor was uneven, there were stairs but no stair lift and no elevator, the stairs were uneven stone stairs, i don't know why this place would be the one 4 disabled only housing unless it was intentional, bc no1 who could afford 2 not live there would live there, on top of that right, if this was disabled only housing what do u think that finding out that the place u live in is believed 2 b haunted does 2 some1 w paranoia? what do u think that does 2 some1 w psychosis?

and taking this outside of my own personal experiences, what abt the places that r places where ppl got murdered? how is whoever is putting this place up 4 rent making sure that there aren't any more murders? r they looking into what made that murder possible at that location? probably not

idk idk much abt how housing works so mayb some of u guys hav some more insight on this 1 than i do but i needed 2 rant ig

since this is my political blog u guys can interact w ur own political opinions on this topic ect but pls keep it respectful or u will b blocked, still not interested in hearing from any right-wingers, neo nazis, ect tho

heads up 2 any1 who likes my posts but i might b deleting this blog at some point soon, idk it got way 2 political way 2 quickly and tbh i can't b dealing w all that rn, it's not good 4 my mental health and i don't wanna get into debates anymore i just wanna b unacceptable and yell my hot takes on fandom stuff into the void, bc of this im genuinely considering deleting this blog and moving 2 1 of my side blogs since tbh i just can't w this especially given how weirdly popular some of my posts became, not smth im 100% defo gonna do but,,, smth im legit considering, also sry in advanced if ur a political blog that i follow and i unfollow u, i just legit can't w politics rn and tbh even if i don't delete this blog it's probably gonna stop being my main 1 bc i just rly don't wanna think abt any of that shit rn