There Really Is No Feeling Quite Like Discovering A New Song That Fits Your Blorbo To A T. Best I Can

There really is no feeling quite like discovering a new song that fits your blorbo to a T. Best I can do to convey it is something like

Short DPXDC Prompts #567

Danny possesses one of the many Bats in the Batcave and the Batfam, completely unaware that this bat is actually a whole ass person, just treat Danny as a strangely human acclimated bat that they see as a pet.

Head Cannon

Bruce never actually learned how to act rich till he was already in his early 30's due to traveling for training and still forgets most of the stuff he learned because he so used to just focusing on his family and being Batman. The perks to being rich? Your rich! There are no other perks!

Dick was raised in a circus, and despite joining Bruce and the world of rich at a young age, Bruce still doesn't teach him anything about being rich other than how to act nicely and how to hide from paparazzi,

Jason is notoriously from Crime Ally, he knows less about being rich and how to use the power of being rich, he will learn the proper way to act like he has money, just to do the exact opposite because F the rich. And Steph has the EXACT same mindset

You would think Damian knows how to act rich and all the perks to being rich because he's the famous Al Ghul the demon head's grandson right? Nope, he trained how to kill people and how to lie, not how to flaunt money

Tim drake is the only Wayne that is raised on what it's like to be rich and rich perks and sucky parts. You want to get into that one really exclusive club on 14th Street? The one with the 4 month long waiting list? Tim could bring you and 10 other people and still get in without a reservation. Tim can tell you how to properly mix 40 different types of alcoholic drinks because rich people are obsessed with alcohol . Hell you want a free drink just join Tim at a bar near the diamond district because people who are famous get 2 bottles of whiskey free of charge.

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

ok probably ooc but what if Tim kinda sees Bruce as his son. He hangs up Bruce’s weird ramble papers like you would a child’s drawing. He praises Bruce when he does something well, scolds him when he does something bad.

Tim has no reason to see Bruce as a father figure, but he has every reason to see him as a son. Plus, Bruce is always adamant that Bruce will never his dad, not the other way around

Jason: “he replaced me with you! A new shiny son since his first one died cause of him!”

Tim: “I.. believe you misunderstand my relationship with the Batman.”

Bruce should be named Billy cause he is the Batson

Tim puts little gold stars on the mission reports Bruce does well on and has a chart to track how well the man is doing at self-care tasks. Surprisingly, the frowny stickers are very effective at shaming Bruce. Maybe it's the disappointment of an inanimate object, maybe it's because a child is putting up the stickers, but Bruce hates seeing when a new one has been added to the list.

It would be hilarious if Tim pulled out the list for Jason and Damian too. He has sections for "insults," "murders," "knife pulled," and "bodily harm to family members."" He doesn't tell them he's the one doing it, though, cause it wouldn't be as effective. They just appear in a common area one day for all the Bats to witness.

Alfred puts ones up for the others as well.

Can we talk about how if jason and jazz got married and had a family (most of their kids would prolly be adopted), jazz would be the super successful breadwinner of the family and jason would perfectly fill the role of domestic housewife. He would mother hen SO HARD and he would love every minute of it. Three of his kids would climb him like a jungle gym while he did house chores like vacuuming and dishes and he would unironically drive a minivan everywhere. Jason = ideal housewife plz and ty

Jason? Housewife? I mean I can tell where you’re coming from fanon version of the guy but if you wanna do comic version of Jason, the dude would rather help Bruce on a mission than stay at home all day. Let me see what I can do because I mostly know Jason from when he was straight up a villain in comics.

Ok so he never really had a good father figure that shows what a dads meant to do. All of the stuff he knows is from asking friends on what to do, parenting books, Alfred, and books he’s read as a kid. Jason would be positively floundering with raising a bunch of kids at first. He’s good with kids so he does that just fine but dealing with kids for a long period of time? That takes some work. He doesn’t know what a normal kid is meant to do and what he can tell them. He grew up on Crime Alley and then became a billionaires ward. That’s quite the wild childhood living situation. What age do kids normally learn how to cook? How to lie? How to defend themselves? What are normal hobbies people have? All of these questions just swirl in Jason’s brain as he does his best to give his kids a normal life.

Jazz is the breadwinner while Jason is getting a solid 40% cut from mobs in his territory? I’d love a job that pays that much. I don’t think she’d be the breadwinner but Jazz definitely does a normal 9-5 job while Jason does stuff more at night. Jason staying with their kids during the day while Jazz is out of the house makes sense in that case. He spoils the hell out of his kids. He’s a massive pushover and does everything be can to prevent his kids from turning out like him.

He absolutely wouldn’t fit into your stereotypical role of housewife stuff. Still, imagining a 6ft tall 225lbs man of pure muscle and scars taking his kids to a local park and sitting on a park bench watching his kids run around and play while absentmindedly flipping a butterfly knife open and closed at incredible speed. Or threatening a kid who’s bullying his child with a whole ass Glock and then instantly switching to caring for his kid who got punched and checking them for injuries is some lovely mental imagery.

Additionally: Jason going to parent teacher conferences and forcing the school to implement disability accommodations classes for the teachers because one of his kids slightly mentioned that his teacher didn’t let him have extra time to work on his test like they should have. Casually cleaning his teeth with one of the scariest fucking knives you’ve ever seen while meeting with one of his kids friends parents. Bullying the principal to invite a mystery guest speaker to his kids schools for an Anti Drug PSA and low and behold, Red Hood walks into the school gymnasium and does a fucking incredible one man play and an almost poetic speech on the effects of drugs and how it can impact your families.

When his kids realize that they can simply climb on him and he doesn’t mind their weight they start doing it constantly. They scramble up his legs onto his shoulders and just sit there while Jason cooks dinner. The only sign that Jason acknowledges the kids presence is to warn them to not put their feet near the stove and to ruffle their hair when they get settled on his shoulders.

Jason not only has a mini van, it’s one of the most decked out mini vans to ever exist. This thing is built like a covert batmobile. You could take on an army of tanks with this car but he simply uses it to weave around traffic like a madman driving his kid to ice skating school.

Jason absolutely isn’t the ideal housewife but he’s a housewife that you Do Not wish to fuck with. You touch his kids and that’s the last thing you’ll ever do.