butlerapologist - Butlerapologist
Butlerapologist

Free Palestine 🇵🇸-20-INTJ-7w8- asexual Every thought I have

1173 posts

For The First Time In A Very Long Time Im Suicidal. I Feel Like The Worst Failure In The World Because

For the first time in a very long time I’m suicidal. I feel like the worst failure in the world because I couldn’t keep going. I feel like I’m the worst at my job, at taking care of my house, my cats, my hygiene, keeping in touch with my friends. I just want to kill myself so bad. It’s incredibly selfish but I feel as though there is no other option. I just want to cry all the time. I’m burning out like crazy. I can’t smile or be friendly to customers anymore, I feel like I keep burdening my friends with my emotions. I’m so insecure too. I feel like I’m not worthy of my job. Like they’re lying to me about being helpful and that I’m just a waste of space. I want to just rot in bed. I’m going to work on finding my journal tonight. Maybe that will help. I just wish I had someone to talk to but therapists are so expensive. I just want to go home.


More Posts from Butlerapologist

1 year ago

I should have been in bed 5 hours ago

1 year ago

Hello,,

My name is Ashraf Alanqar, and I am 30 years old. My wife, Widad Issa, and I have a one-and-a-half-year-old son named Bakr. We used to live peacefully in the Al-Shuja’iya neighborhood, in a house we built just a week before the war began. I worked as a farmer and owned a large chicken farm that provided for my family.

Beloved of my heart (Bakr)

Hello,,
Hello,,
Hello,,

Then the war came and destroyed everything. Our home was reduced to ashes, and our chicken farm was obliterated. We lost our home, our livelihood, and even our basic rights. We've been forced to move from place to place in northern Gaza, simply trying to survive.

My House before...

Hello,,

Me.. while trying to recognize what has happened..

Hello,,

The terror we feel as we flee from heavy bombardment is unbearable. The sound of explosions around us, the constant fear as we navigate through the rubble of destroyed homes searching for safety and food, haunts us every day. My son Bakr is constantly scared and suffers from severe malnutrition and skin diseases due to the lack of food, water, and sanitation.

Our beautiful memories.. :(

Hello,,
Hello,,
Hello,,

We urgently need your help. I am asking for your support to fund this campaign to move my family to a safe place, provide us with a proper home, and ensure we have enough food, water, and medical care.

Baker used to play with his dog.

Hello,,

Your donation, no matter how small, can make a significant difference in our lives. We desperately need your support and solidarity during this difficult time. Together, we can restore hope and safety to Ashraf and his family.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for considering my plea. Your support means more than words can express. Together, we can turn a story of loss into a journey of hope and resilience.

Donate to Hope for Gaza: Support Ashraf's Family Rebuild Their Lives, organized by Ashraf Alanqar
gofundme.com
Hello,, My name is Ashraf Alanqar, and I am 30 years old.… Ashraf Alanqar needs your support for Hope for Gaza: Support Ashraf's Family

With deepest gratitude,

Ashraf & the Family


Tags :
1 year ago

You’re in my head and I hate you. You tell me you love me and I hate you. You ask me what you did wrong and I hate you. You did nothing wrong and I still hate you. I can’t see you as anything other than irresponsible. As anything other than a nuisance. Get out of my head. Stop forming my decisions. Stop telling me how much you suffered. Stop telling me you love me. Stop being a hurt person that hurt me.

1 year ago

They love each other like breathing. Easy and constant. Necessary for every action. Automatic. Without even noticing they’re even doing it.


Tags :
1 year ago

Hello,,

My name is Ashraf Alanqar, and I am 30 years old. My wife, Widad Issa, and I have a one-and-a-half-year-old son named Bakr. We used to live peacefully in the Al-Shuja’iya neighborhood, in a house we built just a week before the war began. I worked as a farmer and owned a large chicken farm that provided for my family.

Beloved of my heart (Bakr)

Hello,,
Hello,,
Hello,,

Then the war came and destroyed everything. Our home was reduced to ashes, and our chicken farm was obliterated. We lost our home, our livelihood, and even our basic rights. We've been forced to move from place to place in northern Gaza, simply trying to survive.

My House before...

Hello,,

Me.. while trying to recognize what has happened..

Hello,,

The terror we feel as we flee from heavy bombardment is unbearable. The sound of explosions around us, the constant fear as we navigate through the rubble of destroyed homes searching for safety and food, haunts us every day. My son Bakr is constantly scared and suffers from severe malnutrition and skin diseases due to the lack of food, water, and sanitation.

Our beautiful memories.. :(

Hello,,
Hello,,
Hello,,

We urgently need your help. I am asking for your support to fund this campaign to move my family to a safe place, provide us with a proper home, and ensure we have enough food, water, and medical care.

Baker used to play with his dog.

Hello,,

Your donation, no matter how small, can make a significant difference in our lives. We desperately need your support and solidarity during this difficult time. Together, we can restore hope and safety to Ashraf and his family.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for considering my plea. Your support means more than words can express. Together, we can turn a story of loss into a journey of hope and resilience.

Donate to Hope for Gaza: Support Ashraf's Family Rebuild Their Lives, organized by Ashraf Alanqar
gofundme.com
Hello,, My name is Ashraf Alanqar, and I am 30 years old.… Ashraf Alanqar needs your support for Hope for Gaza: Support Ashraf's Family

With deepest gratitude,

Ashraf & the Family


Tags :