Did I Leave The Back Patio Door Open? Chris Thought He Felt A Breeze From The Air Conditioning. Hmmmm...

Did I leave the back patio door open? Chris thought he felt a breeze from the air conditioning. Hmmmm... maybe not.

Well, this was no fun. Where was Brad with that unicorn?!? Chris needed inflatables and sun oil. He was still pissed Brad accidentally used the spendy lube again. Chris did too, but someone had to take the heat so they drew straws. On the bright side, they got a pretty good bangin session out of it. Luke’s suggestion to participate certainly reduced the waste factor.

Chris stopped himself there. It was still just him and the dental floss from the morning now between his other cheeks. Was it teal or aqua? Chris needed a color wheel. He’d text Brad and ask him to stop by either Michael’s or Homo Depot to pick one up.

“It’s the plumber. He’s come to fix the sink. He’s a professional. Of course he has all the right tools in all the right places.” Why was all of this so difficult for Chris to grasp?

Brad then informed Chris the bill for the Electric Company came. They needed to add a tip because, if Chris remembered, “that guy wasn’t wearing a belt so there was no place to put the money.”

Chris’ memory kicked in. “Was that the guy who kept your $20 bill clenched between his butt cheeks for twenty minutes? THAT was impressive.”

Brad then informed Chris it was actually him that performed the money trick. It was when their neighbor Luke came over for late night hot dogs and a shake. It was his money but not a $20 nor even American money for that matter. It was a random Canadian $50 slipped in his g-string while stripping a few nights prior. Brad kept it for dance practice as he knew the little plastic windows helped keep the money in place when you begin to sweat. “It was a bit like training wheels for a bicycle.”

Brad then said he had not yet offered the Canadian $50 for dance practice as he knew Chris was working on yo-yo bits. He then once again expressed his concern for anything with a string for a go-go boy at a gay club that didn’t involve ‘G’ before coming full circle. “The electric guy was the one working everyone’s nipples, and that was either earlier that same day or the morning after.”

Chris thanked Brad for the explanation. Things understandably got blurry in the arena when gorgeous and 22. He, like Brad, was getting tired of being labeled shallow for both being attractive and for his attractiveness attracting more of it. Brad was not above the law nor made the claim. That whole concept never made sense anyway. There was no law of ‘repulsion’ or ‘handsomeness.’ “What was all that attraction hullabaloo?”

Brad agreed. “What would be shallow would be holding on to 22 instead of being it.” Like the beef hamburger, youth was in reality unsustainable. One could buy about ten years with the current line up of alternatives, but in the end, there is exactly that somewhere. “Even ‘forever’ ends. It does so with an ‘R’. None of it a secret either. Why did everyone think Brad and Chris were different people entirely in every blog post? Few can afford the surgery or that kind of lighting.”

Brad then paused before addressing Chris’ query as to the circus of books. “Marketing. You called it with ‘hullabaloo’ just now. When you get the masses in a flurry over something they already know, people seeking power will hire you.” Brad then mentioned in hindsight, Luke’s shake was pretty good. He wasn’t expecting that.

Chris nodded, smiled and then sighed suggesting they tip well. The gays still needed to look out for each other citing another brash of censorship to their blog by Tumblr that continued the spin in favor of bots instead of holding a conversation. He then asked Brad if his money trick really was that. Canadian money looked like Monopoly money. “Was it really real?”

Brad didn’t know suggesting maybe that’s what made it a ‘trick.’ What he did know was that clenching anything with your butt for that long and pulling off ‘sexy’ regardless of age or appearance, proved to be a real skill.

The plummer chimed in abruptly to agree. “Sexy butt clenching was as real as was living in L.A. It was a lot of work to make it there and more to freeze it all in place.” The plummer went on to explain the real skill there was to, “somehow grow old ‘naturally’ while exhausticated and shot up with plastic. To that end, plastic was very real. It’s always been real in real life anyway. You guys are natives to L.A. right?”

Brad and Chris nodded in affirmation.

The plumber then questioned if it was the plastic windows in Canadian money where the weird vibe from their Northern neighbors was coming from. “There was something fishy about a nation that didn’t just play on ice, but actually enjoyed it when it fell from the sky.”

All three let out a quiet shiver at the thought of an entire country filled with frozen fish. The plumber immediately apologized then removed his utility belt. It felt appropriate and it was. Naturally, the fish swam away.

Whatever “IT” was, Chris was that.

Oh goodness. Brad didn’t know. Wasn’t stripping year round? Brad and Chris didn’t install the pole w/shower outside because SoCal had a winter. Now that Brad thought about it, climate change somehow managed to moderate the perfect weather in LA even more. It read nearly creepy. Maybe Earth was more sick than they thought.

Finding himself suddenly flustered, Brad threw the thought away in an underhand pitch. Immediately, he regretted the move as the sewers in their neighborhood drained directly to the ocean.

Brad had it. The new model intern, Jose was officially not fine and couldn’t see by any light at any time of day. Something needed to be done.

Chris suggested Jose.

Brad and Chris each suffered from a massive case of prune hands waiting for the lava flow to cool. Big Island. Big doozy. The Front Desk would hear about this after they got a local recommendation for Hawaiian BBQ. Now where were their flip flops?