"Are You Okay?" I Ask, As I Write An Essay On Precisely How And Why You Are Not Okay.

"Are you okay?" I ask, as I write an essay on precisely how and why you are not okay.

Me: *casually disses colonisers* *studies a lot, wants to go to uni*

My progressive Indian ancestors: Look! She doesn't live under an oppressive rule! And she can get an education, HIGHER education at that! We did it!

My ancestors, watching me dump an entire stick of cinnamon, two cloves, an allspice berry, and a generous grating of nutmeg into my tea, sweetened with white sugar and loaded with cream, while I sit in my clean warm house surrounded by books, 25+ outfits for different occasions, and 6 pairs of shoes, in a building heated so well I have the windows open in mid-autumn:

Our daughter prospers. We are proud of her. She has never labored in a field but knows riches we could not have imagined.

THIS. your honor this is the best assessment I will die on this hill-

as snow observes lucy gray run from a crazed jessup, he notes how they create a strange tableau. one of a rabid boy, a trapped girl, and a bombed-out building (tbosas, 260). a tale that could only end in tragedy. star-crossed lovers meeting their fate. a war saga that took no prisoners (tbosas, 261). 

and what perfect foreshadowing this is for snow's relationship with lucy gray. one of a boy whose thirst for power made him rabid with paranoia against those who could threaten his standing (tbosas, 505). and a trapped girl whose only vice was seeing through her lover's charismatic facade too early (tbosas, 500). and a relationship between two star-crossed lovers that could have never really worked out, right (tbosas, 518)? 

yet, it could've worked out. 

because, huddled in the bombed-out tunnels under a war-torn capitol, was a boy who was failing to resist slipping back into insanity (mj, 267). and there was his lover, making a decision (mj, 267). one that she believes could be considered suicide. because she is gambling her safety and survival for her lover's life (mj, 268). because she can't let him die. and she would rather die herself than live in a world without him.

and it was the same predicament that snow found himself in. what do you choose? self-preservation, or self-less love? 

and snow always chose himself. every single time. and was convinced that was what everyone else would choose too. it was only the natural conclusion.

until the berries. until the quell. and up until his final moments. when he saw them both. his perfectly curated rabid boy. and a girl trapped as a figurehead of a rebellion. still standing. still protecting. still loving.

and, to me, that is probably the biggest reason why snow was haunted by katniss and peeta. it is less likely that he saw peeta and katniss as carbon copies of lucy gray and sejanus.

but more so, that he saw them as the antithesis to his life experiences. becuase coriolanus snow has spent a lifetime cutting people out of his life (through death or other means) in order to maintain control and power. and protect himself. because he thought that was the only natural conclusion to such a war saga.

and here were two children. demonstrating over and over again that the miserable life that snow created for himself was not the only path. that it didn't have to end that way. that he could have been happy.

and that was what snow was running from the entire trilogy. 

this is hilarious. now i want a modern au house of atreus.

Agamemnon: Iphy, you are old enough now, I think it is time we have the talk. Teen Iphigenia: Dad, no! I already know where kids come from we really do not have to do this Agamemnon: Oh, no, I don't mean that kind of talk. I mean the “a lot of people in your family are actually criminals” talk. So, it all started with your great grandfather Tantalus, who-

this is only the beginning.

So, I read the Hunger Games last year and didn’t actually like them that much. But I reread them this year and watched the movies again, and um I think I have a new obsession. Someone help. 

your honor, their dynamic is everything.

Interviewer: so what's your game plan?

Katniss: keep peeta alive

Interviewer: what about you?

Katniss: what about me

Interviewer: do you... not want to live?

Katniss: don't ask stupid questions

Interviewer:

Katniss:

~

Interviewer: what's your game plan?

Peeta: make sure katniss lives... because there is nothing for me without her

Everyone: awwwww

Peeta: ❤️❤️❤️

Katniss:

Katniss: if you die so that I live i will actually kill you