(This Is Turning Into One Of The Most Important Topics I Have Ever Blogged About)

(This is turning into one of the most important topics I have ever blogged about…)

Weellllll, custard creams *are* a sandwich biscuit… but there the similarities with Oreos end. They’re sort of plain biscuits with this layer of vanilla-y cream in the middle. No actual custard involved (maybe custard powder?). Honestly, better than I’m making them sound.

And that is such a lovely interpretation of the origins of a Bakewell tart. I wish it was true, but it’s not, alas. Bakewell is a town in the north of England and actually there’s quite a bit of controversy over what actually constitutes a proper Bakewell tart because it’s one of those traditional things with roots lost in the mists of time. BUT, at the risk of enraging the Bakewell fandom, my favourite version is the one my nearly-mum-in-law makes, which is a shortcrust pastry case, the bottom of which is coated with a good layer of jam (I’m making it sound like all British cooking involves jam… actually, that’s more or less true). Then you have a layer of almondy sponge (is that called frangipane?), and then - this is the controversial bit, you top with a thin layer of icing. I think traditionally it’s topped with flaked almonds, but I’ve got a sweet tooth, so it’s icing all the way for me.

And, of course, it’s compulsory that it’s accompanied by a cup of tea.

Right, the Battenberg reports are coming in thick and fast now - a quick round up:

runecestershire​ said: I’m from the American West Coast and live in the Southwest. I am aware of Battenberg cake, having seen it in [American] cake cookbooks and read of it in stories. I’ve never encountered it in the wild, though.

Custard cream biscuits and bakewell tarts are not really things here, though. We do have sandwich cookies with creamy fillings, but they’re not custardy.

karabraden​ said: Honestly, I thought Battenberg only existed in Victorian-era romance and steampunk novels. When I saw it mentioned in a modern book, I got so confused, I went to the husband (expat Brit) and asked “Is Battenberg still a real thing?!”

He stared at me in disbelief.

I’ve still never seen a Battenberg in the wild (nor have I seen the supposed American variant, the “checker cake”).

@turifer said:  We do not, alas, have Bakewell tarts as a general thing in the USA. It’s a shame, because I am very fond of them. Neither do we have batenberg cake or custard creams under that name. We do have equivalent cookies to custard creams but I am currently forgetting the name because I never much cared for them. 

@edderkopper said: I have actually seen bakewell tarts in coffee shops on the East Coast, actually. They’re not super common, but they’re a thing. 

Basically, the Battenberg seems to be some sort of semi-mythical being beyond these shores. The scarcity of Bakewell tarts and custard creams is very alarming, I must admit.

Stay tuned for more important developments.

Mrs Hudson is back in a new adventure tomorrow evening!

There will be a new character and also some cake.

I wrote some words. Some actual words. And they made a little story.

I mean, it’s more of a drabble, really, and almost entirely lacking in plot, but ... it’s the first bit of fanfic (well, of any fiction writing at all, really) that I’ve managed in ... oh ... years. Five years - seven years, maybe? I can’t remember. 

I used to write all the time, but those 500 words have pretty much exhausted me. 

Does ... does anyone want me to post it? 

Im Australian know what Battenberg is! Mainly because I'm a moderately veteran baker and inveterate reader of British novels and have seen it in (cook)books. I will check next time I go to the supermarket if they have it there :D

(Background to this ask - it has been brought to my attention that Battenberg might not be a thing outside the UK so now obviously I’m acting as an ambassador for this pink and yellow chequered spongey wonder)

This is excellent news - can you please also report on the availability of custard cream biscuits and also bakewell tarts? I feel like we’re on the cusp of some important research here.

So I topped off my wild Friday night of drinking too much wine and blogging excitedly about Battenberg cake by booking myself on to a one-day introduction to beekeeping course. I AM SO EXCITED.

Right, the Battenberg reports are coming in thick and fast now - a quick round up:

runecestershire​ said: I’m from the American West Coast and live in the Southwest. I am aware of Battenberg cake, having seen it in [American] cake cookbooks and read of it in stories. I’ve never encountered it in the wild, though.

Custard cream biscuits and bakewell tarts are not really things here, though. We do have sandwich cookies with creamy fillings, but they’re not custardy.

karabraden​ said: Honestly, I thought Battenberg only existed in Victorian-era romance and steampunk novels. When I saw it mentioned in a modern book, I got so confused, I went to the husband (expat Brit) and asked “Is Battenberg still a real thing?!”

He stared at me in disbelief.

I’ve still never seen a Battenberg in the wild (nor have I seen the supposed American variant, the “checker cake”).

@turifer said:  We do not, alas, have Bakewell tarts as a general thing in the USA. It’s a shame, because I am very fond of them. Neither do we have batenberg cake or custard creams under that name. We do have equivalent cookies to custard creams but I am currently forgetting the name because I never much cared for them. 

@edderkopper said: I have actually seen bakewell tarts in coffee shops on the East Coast, actually. They’re not super common, but they’re a thing. 

Basically, the Battenberg seems to be some sort of semi-mythical being beyond these shores. The scarcity of Bakewell tarts and custard creams is very alarming, I must admit.

Stay tuned for more important developments.