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All For You

Sano Shinichiro x Fem!Reader

synopsis: Shinichiro shows you why you're perfect for each other.

genre: Fluff before the line break and naughty after it. Romantic af as a whole

content warning: AU, cigarette smoking, a mention of alcohol, softdom!Shinichiro, oral (f receiving), fingering, "good girl", "little slut", "princess", slight dumbification, unprotected sex, love making

word count: 2.2k

A/N: Requested by the best of besties, @chifuyusprincess. I had a lot of fun writing this so I hope you like it ♡

You hated motorcycles ever since you read a statistic that motorcyclists are 35 times more likely to get into a fatal accident than car drivers. Yet your main mode of transportation was by motorcycle. Wherever you went, Shinichiro was there to pick you up and drop you off, on his bike of course. Every time you heard its engine from a distance, a chill went down your spine and anxiety creeped up on you. It was always assuaged when Shinichiro pulled up, giving you his signature closed eyes and closed mouth smile. His presence was peace itself and when he held out his hand for you to join him, how could you say no? Your heart was beating faster, but not because of your anxiety, but because he made your heart flutter. Sitting behind him on his motorcycle, you were sure he could feel your heartbeat on his back while you squished your chest against it, holding on for dear life.

The air was crisp, raising goosebumps on your skin as you zoomed through Shibuya. Going over a hundred miles per hour, all the city lights blurred into each other. You told him over and over again of your fear of motorcycles but he knew it wasn’t the riding part you were scared of. What you were scared of was dying but Shinichiro would never let that happen on his watch. And you believed him. You didn’t mind that he took the long way back to your apartment and stars filled your eyes from the thrill of riding and the exhilaration from being with someone you love.

You exhaled a breath of relief once he parked in front of your apartment. He helped you off his bike and then smothered you with a hug, his chin resting on the top of your head.

“See, princess? It’s never as bad as you think.”

You nodded with your face still buried in Shinichiro’s chest and he chuckled. He pulled away to light himself a cigarette and you wondered when he got so cool. When you first met each other, you thought he was an overconfident fool who used the corniest pick up lines. It was a new one every day and yet he still got surprised when you rolled your eyes or made a face of disgust in response. But you still hung around him because he had a good heart. And though he was a clumsy idiot around you, he had managed to gain the respect of practically every delinquent in Shibuya. He was a bit of an anomaly to you.

After the hundredth pick up line, you cracked and agreed to go on a date with him. Shinichiro’s goofy demeanor immediately changed and he began to stammer. He couldn’t believe you said yes and you couldn’t believe he was that surprised. His face was bright red and his hands were shaking, but he grabbed your hand with both of his and confidently promised you that it would be the best date you’d ever been on. You blushed at him for the first time when he took your hand in his and after an amazing first date (besides his stumbling and stuttering), it seemed like you never stopped.

You soon realized why Shinichiro was idolized by many and you began to adore him as well. He made you his number one priority and he never failed to be there for you emotionally and physically, even if he wasn’t well equipped to handle the situation. You felt safe and secure because you knew you would always deal with whatever together. You finished reminiscing and you let out a long love sigh. He patted your head and asked, “What are you thinking about, princess?”

Not wanting to be caught simping, you snatched the cigarette out of his hand and took a drag of it for yourself.

“I’m thinking about how annoying you are.”

He scoffed knowing you were thinking the exact opposite. He pulled you into him again and gave you a noogie to which you elbowed him in the stomach, making him keel over.

“I love you too, sweetheart.” He said with a strained voice.

You both laughed and headed into your apartment.

After a delicious meal you cooked and a couple of drinks, Shinichiro was on top of you now, caging you between his arms. You looked into each other’s eyes and it felt like you were the only two people on this planet. You reached up to cup his face in your hands and he leaned into you to press a burning kiss on your lips.

“I’ve been thinking about you all day, Y/N.” He whispered into your mouth before kissing you again. He hastily undressed you and took a moment to revel at your beautiful body. “Let me show you how much I missed you.”

His lips traveled down your figure, kisses being placed on your jaw, your neck, your breasts, your stomach, and on your mound just before your clit. He propped your legs up and spread them apart, leaving kisses on your inner thighs and making you shiver, your anticipation beginning to build up.

“Don’t take your eyes off of me. Okay, princess?”

You bit your lip and nodded obediently. You were usually snarky and kind of bratty, but whenever Shinichiro got you on your back, you were willing to do whatever he said. Instead of his signature smile, he smirked and stuck his tongue out at you. You watched as he slowly brought his tongue to your entrance, licking into it and greedily collecting your arousal on his tongue to savor.

“Mmm. My princess always tastes so good.”

Your cheeks burned up to a cherry red color and you let out a soft moan. He brought his flat tongue to your clit and leisurely licked it up and down. He stared intensely into your eyes, a mischievous look still on his face. It made you so weak. Your heart pulsed so hard you felt it through your entire body.

Your pussy was aching and as soon as it clenched into itself, he stuck his index finger in your hole and held it steady so you could tighten on it instead. You flexed your kegel around his finger and matched the pace of his licks, your legs beginning to tremble from the stimulation.

You praised him. “‘Chiro, that feels so good..”

You felt his smile and he stuck another finger in you, his two digits alone crowding your pussy. He groaned at how tight you are and his hard cock throbbed for you. He knew you wouldn’t mind if he took you right now but you weren’t needy enough for him yet. When his cock is the only thing on your mind and when you start to think that you only live to please and be pleased by him, then you’d be needy enough to deserve his cock inside you. He was going to push you to that point.

He hooked his fingers and found your sweet spot with ease. A drawn out sultry moan escaped your mouth and he hummed conceitedly. He knew you were drunk off of his pleasure already.

“Good girl.”

He lapped at your clit all the while and you were becoming a moaning mess. The way he pressed on that perfect spot made your eyes roll to the back of your head. Your walls were fluttering around his fingers and he knew just how close you were.

“Whose pussy is this, princess?”

“Yours, Shinichiro!"

Perfect answer. He thought.

“So sweet for me. But you’re really a naughty slut, aren’t you?”

You groaned at his words and you closed your eyes. The pleasure and the submissive headspace he was putting you in was overwhelming. He tapped your cheek a few times with his hand, not letting you escape from his pleasure.

“Hey. I told you not to take your eyes off of me.”

Your eyes were heavy lidded when they opened but when you looked at him licking away at your clit and fingering your pussy like it was a toy, they went wide and you whined to him.

“‘Chiro..”

He cut you off before you could speak.

“I know, princess. Cum for me.”

You had been conditioned by his words and once spoken, your orgasm took over your senses and you trembled hard. You crossed your arms over your torso and held onto yourself for just a bit of support as you intensely came around his fingers. Once you cried out his name, he wasted no time undressing. He soon had the head of his cock swiping over your clit and then aligning it with your entrance. Before your orgasm was over, he sheathed his entire length in you and you let out a strained moan, the pleasure of your orgasm transitioning into the pleasure of being full with his cock.

Your moans matched his strokes and he groaned feeling your pussy swallowing his cock. He had molded your walls around his cock and when the head of it collided with your cervix, you felt complete.

“Such a good little slut. No matter how much I play with your pussy, no matter how much I use it, it’s always so fucking tight.”

“Only for you, ‘Chiro..” Is all you could mewl out.

He straightened your legs out, resting them on his shoulders and holding your thighs down to make you feel every inch of him.

“Look at me fucking you, princess.”

Your eyes moved down to where you two were connected. The sight of him pulling out before the tip and then burying his cock inside you made you feel so dirty. You loved giving yourself up to him.

In your lusty haze, you whined to him. “My pussy belongs to you, ‘Chiro..”

He squished your cheeks between his hand and brought his face closer to yours.

“It’s not just your pussy, princess. All of you belongs to me.”

He placed a kiss on your lips before sticking his thumb in your mouth, lubricating it with your saliva. Your oral fixation had you sucking on his thumb while you looked at him with your doe eyes. He shook his head, in disbelief at how perfect you were for him.

“You look at me like you’re innocent but I know what you truly are.”

His thumb found your clit and he rubbed circles into it, the stimulation and penetration overwhelming you. You started wailing and Shinichiro chuckled smugly. You had already received complaints from your neighbors for being too loud but you were always too far gone in his pleasure to care. Your eyes were blown wide, your pupils dilated, and your mouth agape. You couldn’t keep a chaste face when you were being fucked exactly how you wanted to be.

“You’re my little slut. And you know I’m the only one who can make you feel this way.”

“The only one, ‘Chiro..”

You stopped thinking long ago and all you could do was repeat some of his words.

“So good. So obedient. And all for me.”

He grunted as he plowed into you. Dominating you was natural to him but he was slowly losing his composure feeling your plush walls suffocating his cock. His moans were more guttural, more animalistic as his desire for you was primal.

“I don’t need anything but you.”

His words made your heart ache and it only added to the overall pleasure you were feeling. You knew mentally, emotionally, and physically that your all belonged to him. He was the only thing you needed in this world too.

Shinichiro panted heavily as his cock began to twitch inside of you. His strokes were becoming sloppy as your pussy provoked him to orgasm.

“It’s okay if I cum inside of you, right, princess?”

Of course he knew it was okay. He usually never came anywhere else besides in your cunt but he had to hear you say it.

“Yes please, ‘Chiro! I need your cum inside me!”

He scoffed. “You desperate, little slut.”

Even if your head was empty, you had said these words so many times that you didn’t need to think about it. He stroked into you one last time. The head of his cock harshly rammed into your cervix and you winced in pain but you only moaned in absolute pleasure as his cock convulsed, emptying his balls inside of you. His low, throaty groans made you feel so euphoric; his gratification was reliant on your gratification and vice versa. His lips met yours in an impassioned kiss and you really felt it, that you were perfect for each other.

He let out a huge sigh, slowly catching his breath.

“I could have you every day for the rest of our lives. That sounds good, doesn’t it, princess?”

He collapsed next to you on the bed and he pulled out a cigarette, lighting it before he took a puff. The afterglow from his sex lingered on you, your eyes half lidded and ecstasy still evident on your face. You breathed out a love sigh and you turned to Shinichiro to drape your leg and arm over him, resting your head on his chest. He smiled and began to pet your head. He loved how clingy you became after you had sex. You nodded at his proclamation and he put the cigarette in your mouth so you could have a drag.

“How did I get so lucky having you?”

He kissed your forehead and you inhaled deeply, exhaling the smoke afterwards. Looking at him with hearts in your eyes, you whispered to him.

“I think I’m the lucky one.”

Please leave a like and/or reblog if you liked it ♡

master list

---

Hades Playlist: EP (side story #1 - Kakucho Hitto)

Now Playing: You’re Mines Still [WITH LYRICS] - Yung Bleu ft. Drake

CW!!; toxic relationship, angst?, fluff, drug mentions, cheating, smut, and mentions of abuse/domestic problems. mention of gun - being used as a threat by sanzu <use of uchiha sasuke because I rewatched naruto and realized how much I ¿love? him , well, more like wish I could have gave him comfort :p>

an; takes place during bonten!future so all characters are aged up. these side stories honestly kind of help with writers block and I might even do a spin off series — but ! don’t hold me to it :,) just a heads up + each side story will have a different character unless stated | 18 + , ryozoro©

italicized with NO bold means flashbacks | bold and italicized are lyrics | bold is just inner thoughts

If I ever.. if I ever make you angry, girl, just know it get better with time (time)

yn was different, she always have been; Kaku had just realized that too late. the last argument he had with her had led to the split he thought would only last for two days. that was four months ago and she was already clinging off the side of some young CEO’s arm . whatever, she’ll realize it was just a phase and she’ll come running back to Kaku the second one thing goes wrong; all it takes is time.

They say time heals; she can’t live no life without me, she’s so blind still. fuck that [playa], you can tell him that your mines still.

it’s been six months; six whole months since he last kissed her, six months since he last held her, and six whole months since ‘I love you’ had made its way out of her lips and against his cheeks when his tears fell. He knew it wasn’t the cash as to why yn was with the man; she was never materialistic. hes probably suppling her with false senses of security and love - kaku hated the very thought of the rich snob even looking at her; he concluded that the man doesn’t even love yn and is probably using her as a publicity stunt. there was just no way that a man the face of a company would pick up a girl from the dumps without trying to improve his image, there was no fucking way. Kaku knows it was his fault though; if only he hadn’t said what he said, yn wouldn’t be blindly mistaking this guys schemes for the love that she craved. the bonten executive is just waiting for the man to overstep one of yn’s walls so she lashes out and tells the rich prick that her heart is still kaku’s.

It started with the car rides that she noticed that sasuke wasn’t as rebellious on the road as kaku; she should be relieved about it, but she wasn’t. sasuke always relied on his car; if she wanted to walk, sasuke would come up with excuses as to why they shouldn’t. ‘This neighborhood is too dangerous.’ ‘I just got new dress shoes, babe.’ ‘I’m in a suit, yn, and you’re dressed too nice.’ Excuses piled on excuses.

It started with the car rides that she noticed that sasuke wasn’t as rebellious on the road as kaku; she should be relieved about it, but she wasn’t. sasuke always relied on his car; if she wanted to walk, sasuke would come up with excuses as to why they shouldn’t. ‘This neighborhood is too dangerous.’ ‘I just got new dress shoes, babe.’ ‘I’m in a suit, yn, and you’re dressed too nice.’ Excuses piled on excuses.

It started with the car rides that she noticed that sasuke wasn’t as rebellious on the road as kaku; she should be relieved about it, but she wasn’t. sasuke always relied on his car; if she wanted to walk, sasuke would come up with excuses as to why they shouldn’t. ‘This neighborhood is too dangerous.’ ‘I just got new dress shoes, babe.’ ‘I’m in a suit, yn, and you’re dressed too nice.’ Excuses piled on excuses.

she hated to think about kaku considering he was the one who broke her heart, but he was also the reason she had one in the first place. if she asked to take a break from the fast cars and busy streets to walk, he’d smirk and ALWAYS reply with ‘speed walking race or just a nice stroll through our crummy streets?’ god she missed those days, walking through the city as if the dirty streets were the red carpet of the kingdom that kaku always swore they would rule together.

she hated that she compared them just in the way they ‘made love.’ after rough hours of countless rounds of sex, kaku would always cater to her - even after their worst fights. he’d always reassure her after fast and hard sex, one that some would call ‘hate fucking,’ he’d clean her off and reassure her that he still loved her. he’d sit there and calmly state what made him angry and ways that he could’ve done better to avoid these things; even when she’d blame herself for everything before, he would always hug her and tell her that ‘it was my fault as well for letting it get that far. don’t blame yourself for a problem when it took two of dumbasses to cause it.’

she noticed that sasuke was nothing like kaku. after arguments, sasuke wouldn’t touch her, hell, he wouldn’t even look at her; sasuke would yell his feelings and take off to go only the gods know where. when he’d get back, he’d say a half assed apology, but he made up for it by letting her vent her issues. it was always her fault, but he always say “I love you” and then they’d go on as if nothing happened. their make up sex was mediocre with no words exchanged in between thrusts or tears; he didn’t want to hear her speak, he’s told her plenty of times. lately, she’s been feeling the same way.

yn started calling quits to the day a lot earlier than what she used to. around 10:00 pm every night, she’ll call it a day and lay in their cold bed and stare at the ceiling in hopes of sasuke walking in and saying, ‘babe, let’s watch a movie or go cruise through the old bridges.,’ but he never comes. he sits in the living room laughing at shows she hated or on the phone flirting talking to his PA. she was fed up with it and she wanted out, but if she left - she would have no where to run. anger and the fear of abandonment clouded her head every night and constantly reminded herself that ‘it sucks now, but here you’re able to live. no ones going to be there for you if you end up on those streets again. so what if he hurts you? he’s giving you a home - just deal with it. just stay until you’re able to get back on your feet by yourself.’ her anger only drove her to sleepless nights and she found that better than feeling comfortable next to a man

I wish that we could change places, don’t want new, new faces. she got my heartbeat racin’.

it’s as if once they broke up for good, kaku sees her so much more now that she isn’t chasing after him. when they first started dating, he used to drive her insane and send her mixed signals just to see if she’ll make every wild goose chase end with him being her final destination; he’d drive her away just to see if she’d come back. he never wanted anyone but yn, and he doesn’t want anyone unless it’s her; no new faces, just yn and him taking up space together. he hates that women throw themselves at his feet, but he’d indulge in their little games if it meant you’d be there to claim his as yours when they went overboard.

he seen the infamous ‘Uchiha Sasuke,’ he only learned his name because of Sanzu, lacing his fingers through your crooked and scarred ones. he bet that sasuke had no idea about how you got your scars. Kaku hated that he never seen the new man by yns side kiss her fingers every five minutes just to silently reassure her that they were beautiful. he hated that sasuke was sitting beside yn and touching the ends of her hair without him thinking about how hard it was to fix just that morning; sasuke probably didn’t even know which specific products you used. most of all, he hates that he’s not the one right beside you. if he had one wish , he hummed, he’d use it to trade places.

he remembered their first date; fuck, that one date - 4 years ago - was when kaku knew that she was the one. he told her to choose what they’d do and she surprised him when she decided what they were gonna do.

—

“let’s go get some food that’s really bad for us and head to the roof of my building, yeah?” yn smiled brightly before grabbing kakus hand and making their way through back ends of city buildings.

“U-uh,” kaku felt his face heating up at the comfort he received through her clammy and dangled fingers, “where are we going to eat?”

“I know this really good food truck at the east corner of shibuya,” she laughed loudly. some teeth were crooked and others were gapped, but Kaku had never seen a smile more beautiful than hers. “oi, don’t stare,” yn squeezed his hand, “gonna make me never laugh again, ya asshole. I’m just kidding, don’t pout ya big baby.”

“‘m not pouting, princess,” kaku smirked once he realized yn was slightly embarrassed, “well, princess, I own these streets and if you play your cards right - we can own em together.”

Once they received their food and arrived at yns rooftop, they began talking away about life and funny moments about growing up the way they did. kaku finally deemed it time to ask the question that usually caused him to cut off any girl; the one line that was an immediate ice breaker that determined whether or not that the girl was worth it.

“uh,” kaku cleared his throat and stared off into the slow traffic below them, “I got a question..”

“shoot it, big man,” yn said through a mouth full of greasy truck food as she tried to swallow it down with water.

“Are you, um,” kaku rubbed his clean hand across his buzzed head, “are you - let me rephrase- have you loss someone who taught you what love and home is?”

“If I’m being honest, I’ve lost people I’ve loved and people have given me a home,” yn leaned over and silently asked for permission to hold kakus hand once again, “but I don’t think i had enough love in someone to call them my home, you know?”

“Oh, no I get ya,” kaku slowly laced their fingers together and scooted close to her, “well then let me ask the actual question, now.. do you - are you okay that someone taught me that? like, fuck, let me think of the way to explain this - I lost the one person who taught me what love and home was; are you okay with me being this fucked up, this scarred, this - this broken?”

“hey, hey - kakucho hitto,” she scanned his face and took note he was on the verge of tears, “you are more than enough. Yer scars are beautiful and if I couldn’t accept em, I wouldn’t be here right now. you’re not broken, ya idiot.” yn chuckled as she held him in a tight yet comforting hug, “you’re just, missing a few pieces! if you let me, I can try and make new and better pieces - hell ! why don’t we try to find your old ones and fix em up?”

“yn,” kaku nuzzled into her shoulder, “why would you go that far for someone you’ve known for like, three weeks?”

“These three weeks were special to me,” she laughed and rubbed slow circles in the middle of his shoulder blades, “plus, why not? You can’t put a time limit on how long it takes to make sure someone is okay, yanno.” Sucking on her front teeth as she attempted to get lettuce out, she turned to Kaku and lightly placed her head atop of his, “I also like starting puzzles from scratch. where’s the fun if you have all the pieces in front of you? I want to get to know every bit of you and help you decide which piece goes where; the real question is if you will let me?”

that was the first time since Izana had passed that Kakucho felt his heart beat race. from that very moment, he deemed yn worth the world and so much more, he only hoped he could give it to her.

“Oh!” Yn lightly shook kaku, “you need to tell me all about the person who made you feel love or whatever you said earlier! They must have meant a lot to you and I intend to make them important to me as well, if ya don’t mind.”

“Heh,” kaku wiped his tears face and brought yns hands to his mouth, kissing each scar and bandage, “his name was Kurokawa Izana…”

—

kaku always knew yn was the one, he just failed to realized that he can only push her so far til she walked out for good.

they say time heals. don’t go build no life without me, ‘cause you mine still. Oh, and I don’t wanna go unless you make me

the argument plays in his head every night before he goes to sleep in his empty king sized bed. it was stupid, really - he doesn’t remember exactly what they were fighting for, but he does recall using everything she told him in confidence against her. he just wanted her to know that no one will love all of her flaws like he does; in the moment, he thought she’d over think everything and realize he was the only one down for her, but he really just showed her he was willing to take her down. he honestly thought that two months was enough time to heal, but she never came knocking back on his door - not once.

watching the love of his life walk down the streets that he promised her was bullet through the middle of his chest; it was as if she pulled the trigger and missed an artery so there would be pain paired with a slow death. he felt tears brimming as he only wished she’d turn around and run to his arms, screaming that she only wanted him and no one else. she was his still, and he didn’t plan on leaving til she makes him.

Pretty face, pretty tempted, but pretty taught me ugly lessons. Pretty had me givin more than I was gettin. So if pretty don’t come with somethin, then I dead it.

yn has never really been picky on looks; after all, she felt as if it wasn’t her place to be. she always felt behind in the looks department, so she wasn’t going to pursue her personal issues onto her partner. once she met kaku, she was confused as to why someone as beautiful as him was going after someone like her. she was insecure for a bit of time until he taught her how to love herself, and then on she was confident. she never stressed about looks or other people when she was with him; he was her safe haven.

however, being with sasuke - she can’t say the same thing. he was beautiful on the outside, but his personality was nothing of the sort. he cared about each of their physical appearances to the point where he forced yn to get a gym membership and professional trainer so she could look sufficient in the public’s eyes. he knew he could get her to do anything as long as he smiled at her gently and told her how much it would make him happy, and she always did as he wished. she learned he hated everything about her and she was to act more like the women he surrounds himself with; to be specific, she needed to be more like his perfect secretary. Yn learned to hate herself and thrive to be like others. ‘gods,’ she thought to herself, ‘kaku would think I’m ugly right now.’

warm home cooked meals and affection was not enough for sasuke. yn had went out of her way several times and racked up two jobs trying to pay for his upcoming birthday gift, a brand new rose gold Rolex with his family crest engraved on the back; she had never felt so proud of herself from working double overtime for each job at least three times a week. alongside the watch, she made sure everything of his was in place when he got home and only offered him the best of comfort. however, sasuke never really cared if she was happy or content with their lifestyle. sure yn got him a brand new watch and provides him a loving home, but that’s expected - isn’t it? after all, sasuke motto was ‘why should I go out of my way to make her happy.’ yn didn’t expect much, but a clean place and cooked meal when she got off from her shift would be nice; she only asks for the bare minimum of him, but that’s still too much. she figured that if she’s giving too much, it’s time for her to receive the same efforts elsewhere.

Ashamed to tell my friends how much I do for you, cause they know that you would never do the same for me.

sanzu was sasukes worst nightmare, besides kaku that is. even after the break up, the pinkette looked after yn and made sure she was doing well; he might not show it, but yn is like a little sister to him and he’d be damned if someone fucked with her feelings. if anything, he’s been subtly hinting at kaku to man the fuck up and chase after yn.

sanzu and yn meet up at least once every week to catch up and make sure the other is doing fine on their own. he wasn’t mad when yn decided to move on, he was fucking pissed when he learned that the prick does nothing for her. he wasn’t expecting materialistic gifts to be thrown her way because yn wasn’t that kind of girl, but he was expecting the same efforts she put in to be reciprocated. she had to physically restrain him when she told him that he changed her whole meal plan and sleep schedule.

“I’m not understanding why you’re protecting the prick? I’ll fucking kill him. Thinks he can just mark you,” he pulls at yns new gold chain with sasukes initials, “and change you to be his ideal Barbie doll? Yn, doll, you’re fucking suffering - let me help you.”

“Sanz, it’s okay,” she laughed to prevent herself from breaking down, “I should have known what I was getting into, it’s not his fault..”

“When was the last time he did something nice for you? Not just cheap dresses or wine tasting dates - when was the last time he made you feel important?”

“Sanz… you wouldn’t understand! that’s just how sasuke is -,” she was cut off by the bonten man cupping her face.

“Does he make you feel as special as Kaku did,” he tilted his head and stared into her eyes, “does he compliment everything you hate about yourself? does he make even the smallest gestures feel meaningful? does he protect you from your nightmares?”

yn felt tears cascade down her cheeks and sucked in her bottom lip as she leaned into sanzu’s callouse hands, “I wanna go home, sanz, but I’m scared to leave..”

“Why is that, princess?”

“Kakus not waiting for me back there..”

I wasnt lookin for your secrets, they just came to me, and they contradicted everything you claimed to be.

Yn knew her new beau had plenty of attractive women at his firm and she knew how much they all wished to pursue him; yet, she never questioned him of disloyalty or got angry when he hanged back behind work hours after his shift ended - he never really bothered to call her about it anyway.

She always speculated there was something going on at the office, but she didn’t bother looking for his secrets; after all, the phrase “don’t look for something you don’t want to find” was her motto all throughout childhood. That’s why when he invited her to his office she had felt worried - it was the place he stood out and everyone idolized him and she didn’t want to risk the chance of ruining his image. The day went smoothly and everyone was very kind, except the man himself, but that wasn’t going to stop her from having a good time. At the end of the day, the couple had left and yn had made a few friends in which she exchanged numbers with and began texting on a daily basis.

everything started out so fun and innocent: the texting back and forth, exchanging jokes/food ideas, telling secrets, and even company issues. yn didn’t really open up to anyone - with the exception of sanzu - after her and kaku broke up, and for the first time in a while, she felt happy that she was with sasuke. of course, whenever there is so much good going on in her life, she always expected a downfall.

she invited the three women, Sakura, Karin, and Ino to her and sasukes home for a “girls night,” since sasuke was out visiting his family for a bit. as the night went on, the girls became more interested in yn and sasukes relationship and the questions kept coming. they were so invested to see what he was like outside of the office and yn felt jealousy and insecurity stab at her heart.

“Oh he is so romantic with you,” Ino pouted, “when we’re together he’s always mean and degrading. Like I know I told him I liked it, but he gets so into it that I don’t know whether it’s just dirty talk or he’s being serious. His stroke game is crazy so I don’t mind.” The blonde giggled as if she hadn’t just said that she used to sleep with yns boyfriend.

“Wait, what…” yn felt goosebumps race across her skin and her stomach drop, “what are you saying-,”

“That’s because he knows you so well,” Karin laughed as she started unbuttoning her pajama top to show fresh bruises and bite marks, “he knows I love being marked and he treats me like a chew toy.” The red head blushed and began staring at the photo of the two of yn and sasuke when they went to go visit her mother’s grave last summer. “I can’t believe you have him so whipped that he travels with you; he hates traveling.”

“O-oh, does he,” yn tried to play everything off as if she didn’t hear and see the evidence of her lover having an affair with the women she had grown close to in such a short span of time. “He loved the plane when we went…” she felt the words die in her throat as she stared at the ground and as tears began rimming her eyes.

“It’s so cool of you to let your boyfriend let some steam out,” Sakura chimes in with a rosy expression, “I’m still recovering from last night, he loves that I always stay so tight. I promise you that if you look on his phone in my album that he probably has - I don’t know - like hundreds of pictures of my , well, his pussy.” The three girls laughed as they began telling more stories of their recent and craziest sex thrills and all yn could do was listen. Looking back onto every time yn had made love with sasuke, he always wanted to play out scenarios of being in his office and suggesting she act certain ways; the same ways of each of the three girls that sat in front of her.

“Baby,” sasuke called out from the front door, “I’m home -,”

“Hey bubba,” yn smiled brokenly at him and stood up to greet him with a hug, “I’ll be in the room, I’m tired. You can always enjoy time with your friends.” Yn kissed him on the cheek and walked towards their room.

“Yn, baby,” sasuke went to grab her but she was already out of reach. He threw his coat down and glared at the three women, “why the hell are you in my home. My rule was this stays in the office; you purposely befriended her didn’t you? You fucking whores, get out.”

“Sasu,” Sakura grabbed his hand and let it hover against her clothed cunt, “but we wanted to see you and see why you treat her so well. She’s so nice, sasu.” She pressed his fingers against her center as she slowly rutted against them in hopes of seducing him into having a little fun.

“Get the fuck out,” he retracted his hand and wiped it on inos shirt, “all of this is over. You guys fucked up - it’s your fault. Stay away from me and my girlfriend.” He made sure they all left before running to yn in the bedroom and saw her laying down with her back towards the door, “baby, I know you’re still up. Let’s talk about this.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” yn laughed to prevent herself from crying, “what’s done is done, we can’t fix it.”

“We can fix us,” sasuke chirped out as he went lay behind her, “were two pieces of a puzzle, remember? We were going to be broken together?”

“We are broken together, that’s very true. Let’s just,” yn sighed out and closed her eyes, “let’s just ignore this.”

“I’m done with all of them, I swear.” Sasuke threw his arm over her hip as he pulled her to his chest, “I’m done. I was stupid and still am, but I promise I’m done.”

“Okay, I love you,” she knew he was lying - he was never going to stop having the time of his life with three different girls to settle for a broken one, that’s just not sasuke.

“I love you, too,” he kissed her temple, “the uchiha is big on loyalty; you know… you’d make an excellent addition to the family.” sasuke kissed her shoulder and attempted to rub her arm in a soothing matter but it only made her wish she was somewhere else - with someone else. she just found it hilarious that he could even speak on loyalty as if he didn’t just contradict himself.

I took you to the club and you hugged up on somebody that I know, and I know them type of hugs; same shit I do with women when I know I used to fuck. And I know they with they [man] but they never brought it up.

sasuke knew he fucked up every time he cheated on yn, but he couldn’t help it - she was guarded and independent when it came to her set of mind; he liked when his women put out fast, and he hated that yn never did. she made him work for everything: her attention, her love, and trust. since the incident where she claimed to just forget everything, he was determined to gain back everything she made him work for before. he was going to show her that he deserved all of her and how valuable of an asset she would be to the Uchiha family.

with that being said, sasukes recent win for the corporation - he had decided to take yn out into the world and have a little fun at the same place they met, a small night club that hangs outside of Shibuya. yn seemed a little happy at the fact he remembered the location and even more happy when she came face to face with one of his business partners. for the first time, sasuke knew what it was like to watch from the side as his lover greeted someone with such an emotional connection that it’d be hard not to see that they were involved with each other at one point.

“Oh my gods,” Imaushi squeezed her into a tight hug as his hand rested on her lower back, “you look amazing.” sasuke was in such a state of shock that yn let him touch her so easily, it just was not in her character. He watched the man whisper things that had her embarrassed and laughing as if he wasn’t apart of a notorious gang at one point; sasuke knew briefly of his past, but he had no idea about the part where Imaushi shared it with yn.

“You’re terrible,” yn laughed as she wrapped her arms around his neck and squeezed one last time, “I didn’t think I’d meet you again being in this joint. You look so professional, waka, what are you doing here?” she smiled so easy around him. sure, she wasn’t doing anything that would qualify as cheating, but the way sasuke saw that she was so comfortable should be a crime.

“Just meeting a business partner,” he quickly answered before drinking in her appearance once again, “and seeing that kaku isn’t around to try and swing, I take it you aren’t together anymore?”

yns mood faltered as she began feeling each memory flood her brain. sure, her and wakasa used to hook up from time to time, but the second she met kaku she completely dropped the former black dragon. now all she could think of was the scar faced man who left with half of her heart with him.

“Y-yeah,” she attempted to let out a giggle, “we just — anyways, I’m glad to have seen you again.”

“Imaushi-San,” sasuke spoke up from behind - breaking the two out of their trance, “hello, I see you’ve met my girlfriend.” Sasuke placed his hand on yns shoulder and squeezed too hard for comfort. “Surprised she didn’t bring it up, she usually bounces off the walls when someone asks me, heh.”

“Oh - ,” imaushi looked at you with a cocked brow, “you really went from kaku to him? that’s… different.” He bowed and began leading sasuke to the booth where they were to determine their next collaboration. “Crazy how small the world really is, huh?”

He hated every second of the meeting; the glances they made at one another, the small gestures, and the fact he was experiencing every moment in which he put her through when she visited the office.

I’m down these days, down to do better, because I know I’ve done enough. You should lay it down, we’ll talk about it when you up. Now she don’t wanna go to sleep she angry, lately she been noticing he ain’t me. I wish that we could trade places, don’t want no new new faces; she got my heart beat racing.

despite finding ways to continuously fuck up the beautiful love and care yn has presented to him since day one, he always felt he could do better - wanted to be better. after seeing as she was with her old flame, he’d hate to see how she’d react if she reunited with with the soulmate who left her broken; the man who allowed sasuke to accept that he, himself, was broken. sure, he could fire the girls and cut off their advances and belong to yn entirely, but that was for a different time. right now, all he needed was to show yn she was his and his alone.

“hey pretty girl,” sasuke came up behind her as she was cooking their dinner, “smells great in here.”

“mm,” yn hummed as she continued to mix ingredients and make sure they were just the right measurements, “there’s gonna be tomatoes in it, so I expect you to eat it all.” she laughed softly to the young uchiha, something she hadn’t really done since she found out of the various affairs. “just felt like you’d want your favorite after a full week of overtime.”

“I appreciate you, angel face,” he began kissing her neck but stopped when he felt her flinch, “I-um, I wanna talk to you after dinner if that’s okay?”

“Of course it’s okay,” she turned around and hugged him, “‘m sorry, I just - ‘m still adjusting. Im getting over it, I promise.”

“Completely understandable,” he brought he scarred and crooked knuckles to his lips and laid gentle kisses on each one, “only time can heal and I’ll always be here.”

—

dinner went a lot smoother than either thought; they laughed and shared dumb memories of childhood, and for once, yn smiled when he called her name. they cleaned up the table, went to wash off separately, and met back in bed to discuss whatever the CEO had on his mind. yns heart was racing as she feared that he was going to kick her out back on the streets or asks more about her past; for either option, she wasn’t stable enough to handle it.

“So,” he sat in front of her and smirked as he seemed to snap her out of deep thought, “I’ve been thinking…”

“sasuke,” yn clutched at his shoulder, “I don’t know…”

“No,” he grabbed her hand and kissed against the tips of her fingers, “just close your eyes please. I won’t hurt you, I promise.” yn sighed and let her eyes drift shut as she waited to be given further instructions.

he wouldn’t kick her out now, right? maybe he had already fallen in love one of the other girls and was ready to kick her to the curb. maybe he was going to find out about her past and put her behind bars for several misdemeanors. maybe -

why the hell was he sliding something cold against her finger? why does this feel so familiar?

—

“yn,” kaku looked up at yn on bender knee and teary eyes, “I know we don’t have the funds or time now, but one day.. <<sniff>>.. will you do me the h-honor? will you mar-.”

“YES,” yn tackled her boyfriend of five years to the ground, “A THOUSAND TIMES YES, GODS I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU SO MUCH!” she didn’t care that they landed on the hard concrete at the top of her building, she was just overwhelmed with joy as she was close to becoming officially bond to kaku for the rest of her life. “I AM SO IN LOVE WITH YOU,” she screamed between sobs and sloppy kisses, “YOURE STUCK WITH ME FOREVER.”

—

her eyes shot open in fear and she seen sasuke smiling as he slid a beautiful engagement band up her ring finger. she was about to speak, but all she could do was think of how much she wanted him to be the one of the current bonten executives. She didn’t care about how much the ring costs, the fact that one of the most wealthy CEOs wishes her to be apart of his family, or the fact that he planned to give her all the benefits in the world — he wasn’t who she wanted; she wanted kakucho hitto, she wanted only him.

“You’re gonna make me cry,” he laughed as he mistook her grief for happiness, “we’re two missing pieces of the same puzzle, right? You don’t have to speak okay? Let’s talk about this more in the morning.” He smiled and held her to his chest and fell asleep as she continued to silently sob.

They say time heals; don’t go build no life without me ‘cause you mines still. And I don’t wanna go unless you make me.

Sanzu received the wedding invitation from yn as she had asked him to walk her down the isle the day the ceremony was to take place. Despite the groom being someone that the pinkette would have wasted by now if yn were not involved, he accepted in hopes of pleasing his dearest sister-figure. He had been zoning out a lot at the hideout as he fiddled with the card; only those close to yn would notice that her smile was forced in each photo. the only question he had was why did she say yes?

“Oi, pinky,” Ran - the eldest of the Haitani brothers had called out, “if you cut me short from my phone call, then ima cut you short of your day dream.” The elder man stuck his tongue out playfully as he twirled his baton and went on and on about some younger girl to his brother.

“Shut the hell up,” sanzu threw a wrench in the brothers’ direction, “it’s about yn. We’re all.. well let me just show you.” The others gathered around and stared wide eyed as they noticed their friends former lover was getting married in a western styled wedding to the shitty boy they continuously told her to leave. “I expect each one of us to be there. We hate him, yes, but as you can see - he means something to her.”

“why are you all crowded around the table,” kaku had chimed in as he entered the doorway, “did we have a meeting that I forgot about?” The scar faced man stared at everyone as they gave him a look of pity. “What? Why is everyone looking at me like that?”

“Here,” Rindou held out the invitation to Kaku, “I guess you’re invited, too.”

Kaku felt the world stop; nothing was moving, his heart froze, his lungs fell a breath short, and his brain went numb. tears began to spill over his bottom lid as he recalled the very reason the two of them were fighting in the first place.

—

“Kaku, I understand you’re busy all day, but would it kill you just to text or call me to assure me that yer okay?” Yn looked exhausted; she never could sleep much when kaku wasn’t around. “I just worry about you, okay?”

“Well stop fucking worrying, I’m putting food on the table,” the bonten executive slammed his hands on the counter, “gods, who knew you’d get worse over time?”

“I’m not trying to make you mad, dickwad, I’m just trying to make sure my fiancé is still alive!” Yn shot her hands up to her face and rubbed at her eyes aggressively, “can you please not yell? my head is killing me and if I known you weren’t able to get my medicine on your way home, I wouldn’t have been so irritated to see you in your phone absentmindedly as you walked in the house.”

“And if you were this fucking infuriating,” kaku groaned and felt his blood boil as he held off from blowing up, “nevermind, just get your medicine when you wake up. I’m going to sleep.”

“Fine,” yn felt her heart drop as she realized her fiancé was holding off from saying something he obviously wanted to, “goodnight.”

he stomped to their shared room and slammed the door, not bothering to check if she was behind him or in a state to be by herself. even if she were, he didn’t find a bone in his body that seemed to care. As he showered, kaku realized that he should have at least texted once - hell, Ran manages to even find time to FaceTime some girl he’s been infatuated with - he just needed to go apologize and talk it out so things would go back to normal.

drying off and getting dressed for sleep, kaku made his way to the living room as he noticed their bed was completely unoccupied. once there, he began to panic as he noticed yn was no where to be seen, as well as the fact she left her phone on the small coffee table that they made together with some old wood that was strayed in the bonten hide out. He rushed out of the apartment to check the front desk and confirm that she hadn’t left the building yet; much to his luck, the security said yn hadn’t came downstairs which had meant she was probably hiding up on top of the roof like always.

“What the fuck are you doing up here by yourself,” kaku was out of breath as he raced towards her and she continued to blow bubbles over the edge and into the night sky, “y-you <<inhale>> can’t just leave without warning.” He sensed the hypocrisy in his own phrase of words and was going to retract the statement, but something about her ignoring him and play with the soapy water made something snap inside of his stomach. “I shouldn’t have came to find you.”

I don’t mean that, you had me worried sick. I’d stay by you anytime you wished.

“Then go back inside,” yn said in a nasally tone and blew out of the stick once again.

fuck, you know I hate when I’m the reason you cry - please stop crying.

“If I go back inside,” kaku grabbed the bubbles and poured them onto the floor as yn tried to grab them back from him, “I’m packing my shit and I’m never coming back.”

Why the fuck am I talking like this, I’m supposed to just pull you in for a hug and hold you til I find a way to make it up to you.

“Kaku,” yn looked up and clutched onto his wrist as fresh tears began to fall, “don’t speak like that, I’m sorry.”

Why are you apologizing? It’s not your fault! What the fuck am I doing?! Izana would kill me if he seen the way I treat you.

“Stop fucking saying sorry,” he gently pushed her away and grabbed her left hand, “the only thing sorry was asking to be bond to you forever.” Yn tried to clench her fists so he couldn’t take the ring off, but he was just too strong.

What am I doing? I’m hurting her, I don’t want to take the ring off, so why the hell am I trying to? She looks so scared.. what the hell are you doing kakucho hitto? Who are you?

“S-stop hitto,” yn cried as she tried to grab the ring back, “I promise I’ll be better, p-please stop!” no matter how loud she screamed and cried, his body moved on its own. he took off his ring as well and threw them into the distance of Tokyo buildings. “Hitto, w-why? I’m sorry, please, I’ll go find them — don’t leave me..” she clang onto him, but found herself chasing after his figure through blurry eyes.

I’m not leaving you, I’m letting you calm down… I’ll go find the rings so please just sleep and I’ll be right back. I’m so in love with you it hurts. I won’t come back until I find them.

“I found you broken,” kaku gathered his coat and walked toward the front door, “and that’s the way you were meant to be.”

What the hell have I done?

—

“Earth to kaku-kun,” koko snapped in his face, “you going to get her back or what?”

“I, fuck,” kaku grabbed the invitation, “I don’t know if I can.”

“You’re just going to let her go?”

Kaku felt the blood rush back through his body and feelings of sparks dancing alongside his goosebumps. He knows he fucked up, but he’s willing to try just for her.

“No,” kaku stood back up to full height and wiped his crocodile tears away, “I’m sorry sanz, but I refuse to let her build a life without me. She’s mine still.”

Down on my knees hoping you take me. Better tell that [dude] you mine, heard you been trying to tie the knot, girl, tell me you lyin.

“Hey princess,” sanzu made his way to be his soon wedded friend, “you look beautiful.” He pulled her into a quick hug before signaling her to tie his tie.

“You’re hopeless,” she laughed as she folded the cloth, “are you ready?”

“Are you?”

“Mm,” her hands froze as she felt her eyes brim over, “why wouldn’t I b-be? You know..?”

“Maybe you should-,”

“Maybe I should what?” Sanzu hated how she looked relieved as if he was going to tell her to call off the wedding. She was never this sad or prone to cry when she was with kaku, but sasuke had only found ways to make her sad.

“Maybe you should wear flats at the reception,” sanzu laughed, “you know how crabby you are in anything that isn’t your vans or slides.”

“O-oh,” yn forced a small laugh, “of course.. well , we got ten minutes, let’s — let’s do this..”

“Damn you look GOO,” koko started until he seen the death glare on sanzus face, “ahem - you look wonderful, just came to say that sanzus gift has finally arrived.”

“Gift.?”

“Oh,” sanzu smiled, “I was going to wait until the ceremony started, but this makes it so much better. I’ll go get it - just - close your eyes until I say otherwise.”

“Okay..?” Yn sat there praying he didn’t bring a male stripper to her wedding as he failed to order one for her bachelorette party and had Mochi dance for her. She shortly began to hear another set of footsteps paired with who she assumed was sanzu, “Sanz, you there?”

“Open them when you hear the door close, princess. I’ll be outside waiting for you to come.” Sanzu gently closed the door and yn found her eyes adjusting to the figure in front of her.

“I -,” the tears she had been holding back for the past two years had finally poured over, “w-why.?”

“The invitation,” the scar faced man said through a shaky voice as he felt his own set of tears began to fall down his cheeks, “I-, s-saw you were trying to tie the knot — and I just couldn’t let you without seeing you once more.. I needed you to tell me that you were lying about loving him, needed to hear you say you were just mad at me.. wanted to be by your side.” He slowly approached her and waited for permission to grab her left hand, “may I.?”

“No,” kaku looked taken back by her instant response and was about to drop her hand until she pulled his chin towards her own, “y-you may only have my hand if you have found those rings…” Yn smiled brokenly at him as he kissed the corners of her eyes to make the tears go away.

“Y-yn,” he shakily grabbed a small box in his back pocket in which held the same engagement rings he threw out so long ago, “it took me six months to find both, but two and a half years to find you once again.” Kakucho slid her ring on her beautifully imperfect hand and kissed the inside of her palm, “will you run away with me and allow me to stand by your side forever? I can’t promise I won’t make you angry or upset, but I can guarantee that I will never hurt you as bad as I did ever again, so will you -,”

Yn threw her arms around his neck and tackled him to the ground, deja vu slipping by both their minds, but this time it only left happy trails in its wake.

“Let me write a note really fast,” yn began scribbling away on a stray sheet of paper as kaku packed all her things into a bag along with some refreshments, “cmon, let’s go, bubba. You got basically three years to make up for.”

As the couple silently ran out the back of the exit, sanzu got word from the Haitani brothers that they had a runaway bride on their hands. He had to doc what he had to do.

—

“Where the hell is she?” Sasuke rocked back and forth, “she’s not fucking getting cold feet on me, now is she?”

“Relax sasu,” Sakura said from her brides maid position, “just think about it, no more her - three more of us.~”

“She’s gonna get fucking put back into the back room if she is second guessing herself. Making a fool out of me and my image,” he began rubbing at his temple, “guess the bitch didn’t learn the first time I hit her-,”

“Hellooo everyone,” sanzu busted through the two big doors with a smile, “how is everyone?”

“Great,” sasuke gritted out, “where the hell is the woman?”

“Oh, yn?” Sanzu smiled with raised eyebrows, “oh no, buddy, she’s gone.”

“What the fuck do you mean she’s-,”

“She’s gone, g-o-n-e. Left. Never coming back. Hates your guts. She thinks your hair is stupid,” sanzu laughed as he began kicking the various decorations that yn hated but sasuke insisted to get so they can make the front cover for best celeb weddings, “yeah everyone can leave.”

“Son of a fucking,” sasuke began walking down the isle, “I’m gonna put her in the fucking kennel when get back. Dumb fucking whore-,”

“Awe,” sanzu pulled the gun off from under his blazer and put it in the middle of sasukes forehead - scaring the abusive and toxic asshole, “it’s so cute how you think I won’t waste you right here and right now.~” As if sanzu wasn’t scary as is, him mocking sasuke with a baby voice terrified everyone in the building. “Now be a good widdle boy and step the fuck back,” sanzu giggled as sasuke stepped back and dropped to his knees begging for forgiveness, “I’ll be leaving.”

As soon as everyone decided that the maniac yn called best friend had left the building, sasuke ran to the brides room and found the note she had left before she ran out. He wanted to be angry and break everything in his path, but he was being restrained as Karin read the note aloud.

‘We were two missing pieces of the same puzzle, but when completing the full image - our pieces did not belong together. You were a center piece - elegant and needed. I was a corner - something you constantly backed me into. - yn.

I ain’t got nothing much to say, fuck you - she’s all mine. - kaku.’

Let me beat that pussy up one more time, let me beat that pussy up one more time. I know you fiend for this, I know you will not forget. So don’t go to sleep.

Everything was joyfully overwhelming, from yn reuniting with the love of her life to his face being buried between her thighs and making her feel like a virgin all over again.

“K-ka , ngh fuck, please,” she pulled at his beautifully long black hair, “w-wait a m-min..”

hitto looked up at her through hooded lids only to go back to fucking his tongue into her tight cunt. he forgot how good she tasted and he would be fine if all he had to eat for the rest of his life was her cum.

“H-hitto, want you,” yn threw her head back and cried out, “want you inside.”

The bonten man slowly drug himself up to meet her face to face, watching her drag her tongue against his mouth and chin to collect her juices.

“Cmon, want you,” she quickly kissed the corner of his mouth, “put it in, please.”

“‘M gonna fuck a baby into you,” he said as he went down to connect their lips once more, “want a little me inside of you.”

she remembered how drunk he came off whenever he went down on her, and she found herself just craving more and more of him. All the years of insomnia were worth it if it meant she could have every moment with him.

Sanzu: kaku, I dropped by your place earlier and could hear you guys fucking from the hall. It was 4 am, shut the fuck up.

—

The reunited pair laid in bed under a fresh new pair of sheets and face masks as they talked away in what life was like for the time without each other. they both learned that if they weren’t together, there was no point of trying. Kaku somehow found himself getting babied and he was going to enjoy every moment of it.

“so,” yn spoke out as she caressed the top of kakuchos head as he suckled on her bare chest, “mm not to hard you brat, heh, are we - ngh - fuck , are we getting breakfast later or are we ordering in?”

“Want the other side,” kaku said as he pulled off ready to switch, “ynnn, hurryyyy.” He whined and began pawing and squeezing her other breast.

“Let them breath, kaku,” she gently pulled him back up and began sinking down to mimic his actions, “you’ve been alternating for the past hour - it’s my turn.” She giggled as he let out a pleasured yelp as she bit at his bicep.

“Wait,” kaku pulled her chin up and gripped it gently, “don’t go build no life without me ‘cause you mines still. love you too much, please let me have all of you.”

“you always had all of me,” yn kissed his Adam’s apple.

“and you have always had all of me,” he kissed the top of her forehead and ushered her head back to his chest, “gaa gaa, I got your-,” yn brought her fist to his gut.

“Shut the hell up,” she laughed as she laid he cheek against his chest, I’m in love with you.”

“I’m in love with you too, bub.”

Taglist: @richiyo @haitanigigi @chifuyusprincess @legravalice @l-ilysm @katariinasworld

an; yo, I’m sorry if it seemed sloppy at the end, but I had fun doing this :) I’m so sorry it’s late 💀

---

somewhere only we know | sanzu h.

sanzu haruchiyo x fem!reader

summary: and as he laid there, blood spilling around him and body slowly going cold, it wasn’t thoughts of bonten or mikey running through his mind, it was you and the future he could have--would have--had with you had he not been a coward.

genre: heavy angst, implied smut, post-bonten!arc

warnings: fem!reader, gang violence, implied age gap (bonten!sanzu + uni-aged!reader), ambiguous ending implied mcd, very unedited

wordcount: 2.8k

Everything hurt. He couldn’t move his body anymore, he realized, fear finally beginning to replace the adrenaline that had been driving him for… how many days now? Three, four, five? He wasn’t sure how long.

It didn’t matter now, he supposed, slumped against the wall of the alley, blood pooling around him and numbness spreading through his body. Sanzu Haruchiyo was as good as dead, it was only a matter of time before his stubborn body finally gave up on survival.

A part of him wondered if you would see his death on the news and feel anything. He knew it would be there, the fall of Bonten was becoming an international spectacle--just yesterday, he watched his brother (brother, Takeomi was his brother and it had taken Sanzu far too long to tell him that) get shot down on the television before he had even received word from any of their men. As the current acting head of the organization with Mikey’s death, Sanzu knew damn well that his face would be plastered all over the news.

His head drooped for a moment and Sanzu coughed violently as blood bubbled in his mouth, wincing as pain shot through his body at the action.

Fuck.

His eyes drifted toward his cell phone--too far for him to reach but he should try. He should be trying to reach out to Kakucho or Ran, tell them what happened so they can prepare for whatever their next steps are going to be but…

Even as his blurry gaze fell on his phone, the only thoughts that circulated through his head involved you.

What were you doing? It was a Wednesday night, you didn’t have classes tomorrow, you were probably up watching that dumb reality TV show that he always pretended to hate watching with you.

“Those girls are dumb as rocks.”

You gasped, throwing popcorn at him, “That’s rude! You’re dumb as rocks, Haru!”

A huff of laughter escaped his lips at the memory, one that was cut off sharply as pain struck him like lightning. His body shuddered violently in response and he grit his teeth so as to not cry out and draw attention toward where he was laying.

Where he was laying.

It was ironic, really, how close he was to you, and yet how far it was at the same time. Your apartment was just down the street, he could practically see the two of you walking past this very same alley, coming back from the cafe around the corner, laughing about something that had happened in one of your classes earlier in the day.

A sick feeling stirred in him as he remembered why he was so close to your apartment.

Were you okay?

He felt nauseous because he knew he couldn’t answer the question. The threat, after Mikey had died and the feds began hunting down the remaining executives, all of their rivals had gotten bolder trying to usurp Bonten from their place at the top and-

“That little bitch you were with a few months ago, we’ve been keeping an eye on her, you know?”

“I don’t give a shit about her, it’s a waste of your time.”

“No loss for us, she’ll be dead in a few hours anyway.”

Sanzu gagged on blood and bile, he had left you to keep you safe from this life and it just wasn’t enough--nothing he did was ever fucking enough, he hadn’t even been able to get to you and make sure you were okay, he could only fucking pray that it had been an empty threat to get him out of the Bonten safehouse where he and the other executives had all been hiding out.

Please be okay.

You had always been there for him, always around when he needed it and all he brought was pain and misfortune into your life. Dragging you into danger, sacrificing your physical and mental health at his expense, keeping you up at all hours of the night because he couldn’t stay asleep, forcing you to miss classes because of one threat or another to your life as a means to try to get to him.

But you never complained, he remembered, throat tight as he remembered how you took everything in stride with a small smile and nod, never arguing, never making things harder on him even though he knew damn well that all he did to you was make your life harder.

He remembered waking up late at night haunted by awful memories of his past, clutching his mouth so hard he drew blood, tears running down his face, and he remembered trying to leave the first time it had happened, and he remembered you. He remembered you waking up and grabbing his hand before he could flee, tugging him back to the bed and holding him close to your chest and Sanzu Haruchiyo couldn’t remember the last time someone had ever held him so gently before that night--maybe he never had been. He remembered crying for the first time in years--for the first time since that day--and he remembered you allowing him to let it all out, listening quietly as you traced patterns on his back and smoothed down his hair.

“I’m sorry,” he remembered saying, voice choked, “sorry, I wish you didn’t have to see me like this, I-”

“Don’t apologize, silly,” you told him, voice quiet as you pressed kisses to the top of his head and he remembered holding you tighter, fearing that if he let you go, you would disappear--so tight that he was sure it must’ve been painful for you but you never said a word in complaint. “You shouldn’t hold this all in, let me be here for you.”

And the weight of his past laid so, so, so heavy on his shoulders; so heavy that it caused his body strain and his mind genuine pain and he could only numb it by inhaling pills like they were candy--until he met you, at least. Until he met you and you became the only drug he needed, you washed away his pain like sand in a wave with your soft kisses and gentle touches. You were like the light at the end of the endlessly dark tunnel he’d been desperately trying to find his way out of his entire life and-

“I don’t need you. Leave me the fuck alone.”

The nausea hit him like a truck as he remembered the last words he spoke to you, the image of your smile disappearing and being replaced by the hurt look that had spread across your face after hearing his words.

Fuck.

You had trusted him, you had trusted him and he had taken that trust and destroyed it like he did with everything fucking else in his life.

He had to do it, he tried to convince himself, he had to, it was to keep you safe but he couldn’t help but remember holding you one night--one of the first times he had spent the night at your apartment. You were peacefully sleeping in his arms, the very same hands that killed countless men lightly tracing patterns on your skin, gently holding you close, careful not to stir you from your slumber. And he remembered that night questioning with a heavy heart: why? How? Why were you with him? How could you rest so blissfully in the arms of one of Japan’s most wanted, a murderer?

He could see it every time the two of you went out together--no matter how much he pretended not to you. He could see the fearful looks directed toward his forearm, he could see the disgusted stares shot toward the ugly scars marring his lips and he knew that people looked at you and questioned the very same thing that he did why? Why were you with him? The drug addict, the criminal, the physically and mentally scarred? Why were you with him when you could do so much fucking better?

And he could see you--he could see you shooting dirty looks at everyone who dared to look at him wrong even though you knew damn well he was more than capable of defending himself.

“You shouldn’t have to,” he could hear you pouting, chin propped up on his chest as you looked up at him, arms wrapped tight around his waist, “Let me love you, Haru.”

And you did, you did love him, and you had shown it with every action. With every soft kiss to the rough skin of his scars, with every gentle touch you laid upon his body, with every time you cupped his face and kissed him and looked at him like he was the most precious person in the entire world.

Sanzu Haruchiyo was sure he had never known what it was like to be loved so unconditionally before he met you. He had been loved for his money, and the status he could give, but until he met you, he had never been loved for him—you looked past the money, past the scars, past all of the awful things he had done in his life. Quick, rough fucks and bruising kisses had been the norm until you laid him back on your bed, running your lips along every inch of his body, kissing every single scar that marred his skin, tracing your fingers across his skin like it was a map only you could read.

And Sanzu Haruchiyo had never been one to let go of control--anxious that doing so would be violently thrown back in his face and old wounds that had never healed correctly would be ripped right back open--but when you laid in bed with him, looking down at him with that adoring gaze he had never quite been able to grow used to, begging him to let you take care of him, he couldn’t bring himself to say no.

And it was just as he feared--you reopened those poorly healed wounds with your lips but your soft whispers muted the pain and anxiety of being laid fully bare in front of someone for the first time in his life. All of the walls he had built to hide his emotions crumbled and all of the clothes hiding his scarred body stripped as you told him how much you loved him, how beautiful he was, how he deserved the world and how someday you would figure out how to give it to him.

Let me love you, Haru.

Your words echoed through his head like a mantra and he sobbed, the pain finally numbing as his body began to give out. He should’ve let you, he should’ve let you, it was for the best but he wished he had been fucking selfish for once in his life. He wished he would’ve found a way to leave this life and run away with you, he wished he hadn’t been a coward.

He choked on his own blood as he inhaled sharply. He could feel himself dying, he realized, he could feel his body weakening and his vision was starting to go dark. He closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the wall of the building as he desperately tried to picture your face, picture what could have been between the two of you.

You would’ve worn one of those big, poofy white gowns, he realized, remembering your obsession with those princess dresses and he could see you in it--he could see you walking toward him, he could see you spinning on the dancefloor with him, he could hear you giggling as you dragged him by the hand down the hallway of the reception of your own wedding, eager to finally get some alone time with him. He could feel himself smiling as you pushed him against the wall, he could feel your lips on his and his throat felt swollen and tight because he would give anything to touch you one last time, to give you one last kiss.

Would you have had kids? He wasn’t sure, Sanzu Haruchiyo never had a good parental figure in his life--the thought of starting a family was one that made his blood run cold but as the image of a little boy with his hair and your eyes and a little girl that was the mirror image of you pushed its way into his mind, instead of fear he could only feel a deep set longing--his eyes blurred and he wasn’t sure if it was from tears or blood loss.

“I don’t want to see you anymore.”

The words were still bitter on his tongue, rotting his mouth even after all of these months. He wanted to throw up, scream that he was lying and hope that you could hear it from down the street, cry. He could see you drawing back as if he had hit you and Sanzu had to physically swallow the bile that rose to his throat.

“What?” your voice had been barely a whisper, he almost didn’t hear you.

Almost.

“You deaf?” he sounded cruel even to his own ears. He wished he could tell you that he was lying and he loved you and he just needed to keep you safe from his fucked up life. “I said I don’t want you. I’m fuckin’ bored of you.”

And he had been lying through his fucking teeth, of course he had, but Sanzu Haruchiyo had always been a good liar and when he turned to walk away from you, he had to physically stop himself from covering his ears as you called after him, asking what you did wrong, begging for another chance, promising to be better.

He didn’t want to die. The thought hit him with the force of a million suns, white hot fear circulating through his blood when he realized he didn’t have much time left, when he realized he was going to die alone just as he feared all of those years ago, when he realized he’d never be able to apologize to you for what he did, tell you that those hateful words were lies and that nobody in the world could love someone as much as he loved you.

You had made his shitty life worth living and all he had done was hurt you in return. But you had always been good at reading him, and a part of him hoped that deep down you knew the truth—you knew he loved you, you knew that he only said those things to keep you safe—but the larger part of him knew it would be easier for you to move on from him if you didn’t know any better, even if the thought of you spending the rest of your life with someone other than him made him sick to his stomach.

If you were even alive, a darker voice reminded him but Sanzu forced the thought away. You had to be okay, he had given you up—the only thing in his life that had ever made him happy—just to make sure you would be safe.

You were safe, he told himself, and he couldn’t feel his limbs anymore and he didn’t have the strength to cough up the blood bubbling in his mouth. He kept his eyes slid shut as he desperately tried to picture your face one last time and even as his head went fuzzy and the coldness spread across his body, a weak smile tugged at his lips because you were the only thought running through his mind.

----

The pain was gone. Sanzu’s eyes fluttered open and he winced at the bright light.

Was he dead?

Sanzu couldn’t even tell, everything was too bright and blinding and he just wanted to shut his eyes again but just as he was going to, he felt something light brush against his face and he flinched. He winced as he turned his head to the side to look over at whatever had touched him and he swore his heart faltered when he noticed who was sitting next to him.

Was he dreaming? Hallucinating?

He had to be.

“Y/n?” he breathed out, and he swore he could have cried when he recognized the soft, familiar smile gracing your face as you looked down at him. Maybe he was crying, he realized, feeling wet tracks run down his cheeks.

“Hi, Haru.”

---

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