The Last Line Broke My Heart - Tumblr Posts
STARS ALIGNED.
PART I
Bangchan x reader. (s,f)
Author's Note: Advance warning! Prepare your delulu ass and embrace the cuteness, like it or not.
Chan was deep in his thoughts when the elevator dinged open, or he was too sleepy to barely function.
He waited until the door slid open to get in, then pushed the button to his apartment floor, when the elevator was about to slide shut, he saw someone coming his way.
Chan hurriedly pushed any button to halt the elevator door from closing as he watched you half-jogged into the elevator, carrying a coat and bag in one hand.
"Thank you," you muttered when you got in, then stood on the opposite corner as the elevator began riding up the building. Chan rubbed his eyes to take a look at you, he glanced at you, up and down.
You were wearing a skin-tight dress in the color he likes so much, black. The dress dipped low at the cleavage and hung low, right on the mid-thighs, Chan guessed that you must have been coming back from a night out.
Then you bent over to fix the strap of your shoes, and Chan's eyes flicked to the exposed skin on the back of your thighs, then down to where your hands worked open the straps, then strapped it back again, properly.
You yelped when you almost tripped, and Chan was ready to help you, but fortunately, you gripped the handlebar on time.
Chan almost forgot that he was in the elevator and his floor was one level away, stood up and looked straight ahead.
The elevator dinged again, signaling that it had arrived on his floor, and Chan caught a whiff of your nice-smelling perfume when he walked past you.
Chan didn't want to creep on you, but he was also curious about which floor you lived on.
When he looked back though, you were also getting out of the elevator and were walking behind him, but went in the opposite direction of the hall that leads to the other unit on his floor.
You walked up to the door and unlocked it. And that was the first time Chan saw the neighbor of his new apartment.
He got excited thinking that this wouldn't be the last time he saw you if you're neighbors.
-
"This is a really nice apartment," Jeongin beamed as he looked around Chan's new and still lack of furniture apartment.
Chan poured a glass of juice for himself and then took a canned soda for Jeongin, "I should thank you for telling me about it," he said, then handed Jeongin his drink.
Jeongin popped open the soda, "it was actually my aunt, she recommended it to me," he replied, then gulped his drink.
He gasped after he swallowed the drink and then sat on the sofa, "she lives in the next unit, by the way," he informed.
Chan thought he misheard him, so he didn't think about it that much. "I planned on giving this to my little cousin," he muttered while holding a paper bag, "but they're not at home right now," he sighed.
Jeongin placed the paper bag on the glass table, "can you give it to them instead?"
"Huh? Me?" He asked in utter confusion.
Jeongin nodded, "my aunt knows all of you," he assured him, "she'll recognize you,"
Chan pursed his lips, "but is your aunt really living in the next unit?" Jeongin nodded again as he sipped his carbonated drink.
"Why?" He asked.
"I've seen the person who lives in the next unit, and I don't think it's your aunt," he explained.
"That only means you're not famous enough," Jeongin joked, then got up from the sofa.
"I have to go, Hyung! I have practice," he said. He went to the kitchen to get his bag and slung it across his shoulder.
"Don't forget about my little cousin's gift," he pointed to the paper bag on the table.
But Chan forgot about it until the next day when he came back from the studio late at night and saw the paper bag still sitting on the table. He went to the next unit after breakfast the next morning, pushed the doorbell, and as he waited he peeked inside the bag to see the toys inside.
A moment later, the door was opened by a middle-aged woman, "Yes? Can I help you?" She asked.
Oh, so this must be Jeongin's aunt, he thought. "I am a friend of Jeongin," he announced.
But she looked as confused as he was, Chan thought that maybe she didn't recognize him as Jeongin said.
"He wants me to give you this for his little cousin," he said, then handed her the bag. He could hear the noise of cartoons playing on the TV and noises a little kid made inside the apartment.
The lady took the paper bag and smiled, "I'll make sure to let her know," she said.
"Oh, thank you," Chan muttered to her, "And I'm sorry that I delivered it late,"
"It's alright," she replied.
Chan nodded, "anyway, have a good day!" He said, then took a few steps back from the door.
And the lady smiled at him once again before closing the door.
Chan sighed in relief, but as he walked, he got confused, if she was Jeongin's aunt, then who's the girl he saw that day in the elevator?
He pulled out his phone to text Jeongin to inform him about the paper bag and ask him about his aunt.
But he stopped once he noticed the elevator dinged open, and you came out of it, you looked like you just came back from working out or probably back from the gym downstairs.
Your hair was damp with sweat, and you were fanning yourself with your hand, wearing tight dark leggings and a white t-shirt, the striking color of your sports bra was visible through the fabric.
He didn't know why, but Chan looked away as you walked closer in his direction.
"Good morning!" You said to him when you walked past by.
"Good morning!" Chan mumbled his reply and tried so hard not to look back at you.
He slowed his walk and heard you entering the passcode of your apartment, then got in.
Chan was getting more confused now, but he settled with the statement that maybe you are Jeongin's other cousin and you live with your mom and your little brother next to his apartment.
-
On the following day, Chan got in the elevator in the afternoon, he came home early from the night he spent working in the studio, his eyes were getting heavier the closer he got to home.
"Can you hold the elevator door open?" You shouted across him, half-jogged to make the time for the elevator before it slid shut. Chan punched the button too hard out of reflex but successfully kept the elevator door open.
You were panting once you got inside, "thank you," you muttered again.
Chan nodded, he should have said something, but the fatigue got to him.
It got quiet inside the small chamber, then you turned around and faced him, "Also, thank you for the toys for Chan," you said to him.
Chan's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "pardon?"
Your hand flew to your forehead, "you delivered the gift from Jeongin yesterday," you reminded him.
"Yes," he said.
"Jeongin's aunt accepted it yesterday," he added.
You softly laughed, "but I am Jeongin's aunt," you told him.
Chan scoffed, but he didn't mean it in a rude way.
"And you are Bangchan," you added with a smile.
Chan blinked a few times, shaken by the information that he didn't see the elevator had arrived at his floor and dinged open. He dragged his feet out of the elevator and stood there facing you.
"You are Jeongin's aunt?" He asked again just in case he made it all up in his head, and because you looked so young, you would have passed as Jeongin's older sister than his aunt.
You nodded with a smile, "I think the one you met yesterday is the sitter," you told him.
"Oh!" Chan was completely taken aback.
"The sitter," he repeated like a broken robot.
Then a question popped in his head, "a sitter for who?"
"For Chan," you answered.
"Chan?" He foolishly asked you.
You laughed out loud with a hand covering your mouth, "oh, I should have known that a conservative like Jeongin wouldn't openly talk about his family like that," you said.
You cleared your throat, then clutched your bag with both hands in front of you, "I have a son, and his name is Chan," you told him.
With his lack of sleep-brain tried to receive this much information, Chan believed his head was about to explode at that very moment.
"Anyway, don't hesitate to visit sometimes," you told him, then left.
While Chan was standing there with a hand on the wall, still trying to process everything.
Once he made it to his apartment, Chan called Jeongin and bombarded him with so many questions but spared him from the embarrassing details.
Jeongin told him that you are older than Chan by two years, got pregnant with your son three years ago with your boyfriend, married for almost two years, and newly divorced a few months ago.
And all he could say to that was "wow,"
After a quick goodbye, Chan hung up the phone and put it away. Today had been overwhelming to him, that he didn't have a hard time falling to sleep like he used to.
-
A few days later, he met you at the parking basement, taking out your grocery bags from the trunk. He half-jogged to help you to lend a hand.
"Need a hand?" He kindly offered.
"Well, if you don't mind," you said to him.
Chan slung his backpack and picked up the two big grocery bags himself.
"I'll get Chan," you said to him, then walked up to the backseat to unbuckle him from the baby seat. You carried him and walked with Chan to the entrance, waiting for the elevator to arrive.
"This is my son, Chan," you introduced your son to him, "or should I say little Chan?" You playfully said.
Chan put the grocery bags down so he could take the little guy's hand, "Hello, my name is Chan too!" He said, then shook his little hand.
When he looked at both of your side by side like this, he could see the resemblance. He has your eyes and nose, you both have small, round lips and cute smiles. Then again, you could have passed as little Chan's sister than her mother.
Chan lowered his head so he could be at eye level with little Chan, "Hi, how old are you?"
But little Chan looked so drowsy as he rested his head on your chest.
"It's his nap time," you informed Chan.
Chan decided to pet his head instead and let the child rest in your arms.
He glanced at you holding the child so close and gently caressing his back until he fell asleep on your shoulder.
Once the elevator arrived at your floor, Chan carried your grocery bags right to the front of your apartment door and sighed.
"Is there anything I can help you with?" He asked again.
"Yes," you sheepishly said.
"Can you hold the door open?"
Chan smiled, and his dimples appeared on both of his cheeks, "of course," he said.
He held the apartment door open as you stepped in carrying your child, then he took all of the grocery bags with him and placed them on the dining table.
You hurriedly lay little Chan on his crib and slowly took off his coat without trying to wake him up, you've done this a hundred times, so this came as an easy thing to do for you.
Chan was waiting for you by the dining table, and the colorful notes sticking to the fridge door in the kitchen caught his attention, he got closer to see what was written on them: a lot of phone numbers, schedules, appointments, more urgent telephone numbers then a picture of baby Chan with you with a birthday cake and another picture of you and little Chan on the beach.
He saw you coming out of little Chan's room smiling at him.
"Let me get you a drink," you said without asking him first, this was the least you could do for helping him.
You gave him a glass of orange juice, "thank you for helping me," you told him.
"And please, sit down!" You said since he had been standing from the moment he got into your apartment.
Chan sat on the chair next to the dining table and then looked at you unpacking your grocery bag to pull out a bag of apples. Which you washed them skillfully peeled with such ease like you had done it countless times, and you probably did since you have a child.
You cut them into small slices and then slid the plate in front of Chan on the table.
"You have a nice apartment!" He praised.
"That's nice of you to say!" You said.
But he was being sincere, apart from the obvious mess of little Chan's toys scattered on the carpeted floor of the living room, your apartment looks neat to him.
"I can only tidy up as much as I can when Chan is napping or sleeping," you said, then pour yourself a glass of juice.
"Oh, I mean, little Chan," you added.
Chan softly laughed because his ears perked up whenever you mentioned his name.
"How about work then?" He asked because he was seriously curious.
"I only work at the office 3 days out of a week and the rest at home," you answered.
"Most of my job desk doesn't require me to be at the office," you furtherly explained.
"And what is your job?" He asked.
"I'm a columnist," you replied.
"Interesting!" Chan beamed.
"Well, it's the only way to make a career out of my degree," you jokingly said.
Chan got stunned at how you managed to work and take care of your child, the house, everything, all alone.
You took a slice of apple and took a bite, "well, enough about me," you said.
"How about you?" You asked, then placed a hand against your cheek as you waited for his answer.
Chan never got asked such a question, and he didn't know how to answer because most people already knew what he does.
"Well, I'm always busy producing music," he answered.
“Jeongin was right when he said you are such a hardworking man," you said to him.
Chan got flustered by your praise that his ears turned red, "well, I'm trying still," he said.
You placed your hand on his then said, "don't be apologetic for being hardworking,"
Chan nodded, agreeing with your words. He left a moment later because he knew he would only disturb you the longer he stayed.
"I mean it when I said don't hesitate to visit," you told him before closing the door.
He nodded and smiled, "don't hesitate to visit my apartment too,"
"Of course!" You said, waving bye at him.
And Chan regretted inviting you to his apartment as he has so much to show to you with his apartment still a mess like this.
-
Chan was brushing his teeth when his doorbell rang, he hurriedly washed his mouth clean and then headed to the door to open it.
He didn't expect to see you, and you saw him looking like he just rolled out of the bed with his bedhead and puffy eyes on a late morning like this but luckily, he already put on a proper t-shirt.
"I am so sorry for disturbing you like this," you said to him.
Chan tried to brush his hair to neat them but ended up making it even messier, "no, it's alright," he quickly said.
"What's up?" He asked. And he winced hearing the words that came out of his mouth, he could have said something decent like 'how are you?' or 'what can I help you?' or something simple like 'good morning', but why did he settle with 'what's up?'.
"I have an urgent meeting today, and I can't get a sitter on such short notice," you explained.
"Do you mind looking after little Chan for an hour or so?" You asked.
The request took him by surprise that he spaced out for a bit.
"The girl who used to babysit Chan from the lower unit is at school at this hour, so I don't have any choice," you elaborated.
He could sense the urgency in your voice, not that Chan couldn't take care of a toddler for hours since he had taken of his younger brother before, but it was your child, and he wasn't sure if little Chan would love his company.
"I can do that," he answered.
You sighed in relief.
"But can you give me a few minutes? I need to-"
"Sure, sure," you quickly agreed, "I'll wait at my apartment," you told him.
After changing his clothes into proper ones, Chan went to your apartment and rang your doorbell.
You opened the door already dressed and ready to go, "I'm sorry again that I disturb your day," you said to him.
Chan waved you off as he stepped inside and saw little Chan sitting on the carpeted floor holding his toys, but he was intently watching the cartoon on the TV.
"If it isn't this urgent, I wouldn't have asked you, really!" you told him, feeling bad to make him babysit little Chan.
"It's okay," Chan said. "I don't have anything to do today anyway," he added. You gave him a few quick instructions if little Chan asked for something, his snacks or milk, his favorite toys or cartoon he likes to watch.
"I'll be back before lunch, I swear," you added.
"Take your time," he said to you. You squeezed his elbow, "thank you," you muttered again to him.
You squatted down on the floor next to little Chan to talk to him, "hey buddy, mommy has to go for a bit," you spoke so low.
You pointed at Chan, "but uncle Chan here will be with you while I'm away," you explained.
Little Chan nodded even though he wasn't fully listening because of the cartoon playing in the background, "you don't really listen to mommy, right?"
He giggled.
"Can mommy have a hug?" You asked.
Little Chan got up and hugged you by looping his hands around your neck.
"Can mommy get a kiss too?" You asked while pursing your lips. Instead on the lips, little Chan gave you a slobbering kiss on the corner of your mouth.
Chan smiled witnessing the whole thing, it was adorable and made him warm inside.
"Be good to uncle Chan, okay?" You said again, then kissed him on the forehead and a ruffle on his hair.
You walked up to Chan, "please, take care of him!" You said to him, then gathered your coat and bag from the dining table.
"Don't worry! I'll take care of him well," he assured you.
"Thank you once again," you sincerely said as he sent you off to the door.
"Please don't mention it! And be careful!" He said to you.
He watched you leave until you disappeared from his sight, then headed back inside to little Chan still watching the cartoon on the TV.
Chan was thankful for the experience he had with his younger brother that he knows how to be around little children like this. But little Chan was one of a kind, he's an adorable boy and a little quiet, yet so cheerful, bright.
He laughed at every little thing Chan did, and Chan liked how his laughs were so infectious. He realized he never enjoyed being around someone like this in such a long time, it also made him peculiarly nostalgic, reminded him of how pure and beautiful life could be when he play with a little kid like this.
You didn't expect the meeting would end past lunch hour, you skipped the invitation for lunch and went home right away. You were ready to apologize to Chan for making him babysit longer than you asked him to.
You entered the passcode of your apartment and got inside, hastily took your shoes off, then went inside.
But it was so quiet, probably because little Chan was napping, but once you got to the living room, you saw Chan sleeping on the sofa with little Chan lying on his stomach while holding a half-finished bottle of milk in his hand.
You smiled looking at how adorable they looked falling asleep together, you secretly took a picture of them with your phone, then silently went to your bedroom to change your clothes.
Chan woke up a moment later and saw you in the kitchen, going back and forth, taking things out of the fridge.
Seeing that little Chan was still sleeping, Chan slowly removed himself and then put the blanket on little Chan.
You smiled when you noticed Chan had woken up and came to the kitchen, "oh, did I wake you?" You asked him.
He groaned while rubbing his eyes, "oh, sorry for falling asleep," he mumbled, then sat on the dining table.
"I make sandwiches for lunch. Do you want some?" You asked him.
Chan couldn't deny that he woke up hungry, "yes, please," he replied.
You placed a plate of freshly made sandwiches in front of him with a glass of orange juice, then sat down to also eat your own.
"Thank you once again for today, Chan," you said to him.
"Please stop thanking me, it's nothing," he said with a mouthful of food.
"I hope little Chan didn't bother you so much today," you said with a sympathetic smile.
"No," he shortly replied.
"He's really, really sweet and adorable," he added.
You cooed at his praise, then sighed, "I'm glad then,"
Chan checked his phone that was vibrating in the pocket of his jeans and pulled out to see a lot of notifications.
"I think I have to go," he said as he read so many messages to tell him to come to the studio.
"Please don't let me be on the way," you said to him. "It's okay, I can go after I finish this," he said to you, then took a big bite of his sandwich.
Chan took a last look at little Chan still sleeping while sucking his thumb, and he smiled at how much he truly enjoyed playing with him.
"Thank you once again, Chan!" You said for the umpteenth time.
Chan got tired of making you stop saying it to him, "I'll be gladly doing it again," he said to you as he walked to the threshold.
"But can I come just to play with little Chan?"
You chuckled, "of course!"
He smiled at your answer, "okay then, thank you for the lunch!" He said.
"No worries!"
He looked at you and the curve of your smile that he didn't fully pay attention to earlier, how it was the same as little Chan has: a lovely, genuine smile.
"Be careful!" You said to him before closing the door.
"I will," he said back, looking at you for the last time before he left.
-
The last time Chan saw you were three days ago when he met you with little Chan in the basement parking and headed to the elevator.
His eyes shot to little Chan walking next to you, and you matched your pace with him, patiently walking at a painstakingly slow pace with your hand holding his little hand.
"Hey, where have you guys been?" Chan asked.
"We just came back from dinner with little Chan's grandad," you answered.
You let go of little Chan's hand to let him walk on his own, "I heard from Jeongin you're going to Japan?" You asked as you spotted the suitcase he had with him.
"I'm going tonight," he said.
He squatted down to welcome little Chan to his embrace, and it surprised him how he went to hug him.
You smiled seeing how little Chan grew fond of Chan, "you guys bonding in such a short time," you said, impressed.
"I think because we have the same name?" Chan guessed, then offered his hand at little Chan for a high five.
A car that came to pick up Chan arrived, and he reluctantly let go of little Chan.
"We'll play together again soon, okay?" He sweetly said to him.
Little Chan nodded while sucking his thumb but returned the high five for Chan.
You took little Chan and hoisted him up to carry him in your arms, "have a safe trip! Send my regard to Jeongin," you said to him.
The car stopped just a few steps away, and Chan dragged his suitcase with him.
"Say bye-bye uncle Chan!" You said along while waving little Chan's hand at him.
But little Chan could only mumble the words while waving his hand.
"Bye, little Chan!" Chan before he got into the car.
And he watched as the two of you still waved at him even though the car was leaving the parking basement.
-
Jeongin elbowed him on the stomach when they were queuing to get off the plane.
"Are you going to stay at the dorm, or are you going to your apartment?" He asked.
Chan shrugged. With his head still fogged with sleep and fatigue, he couldn't make a clear choice.
"I don't know," he mumbled, then put an arm around him.
"Well, if you're going home to the apartment," he pulled out a paper bag at him, "can you please give this to my aunt?" He asked.
"Wow, you really love your little cousin, huh?" Chan teased him, but he knew that Jeongin likes little children in general.
"It's not just a gift, it's a birthday gift for Chan," he said.
"Huh?"
"Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you my little cousin's name is also Chan," he said.
"No, I know that," Chan said.
"But when is little Chan's birthday?" He asked, genuinely curious because how come he missed such an important event, especially with you living next to him.
"It was yesterday," he answered.
Chan felt bad for not knowing about this. He scrolled down your social media that he secretly stalked since a few days ago, seeing all the pictures of little Chan's birthday with a cake decorated with his favorite cartoon character, and you posed with him on your lap with a birthday hat perched on your head.
He regretted not being there, he could have had so much fun with little Chan, and he would gift him something special.
But it would take time to find something special, and he got no time for that he was late for the occasion. Chan asked to be dropped off at his apartment and went up to his floor carrying Jeongin's gift for little Chan.
He went to his apartment first, washed up and changed his clothes, and checked himself in the mirror before heading out.
It was only 8 when he rang your doorbell, he was partly afraid that little Chan was already sleeping, but he got Jeongin's birthday gift as an excuse to come.
You opened the door not long after, and a smile rose on your face when you found him behind the door.
"Oh wow, hi! I didn't know you were already back from Japan!" You exclaimed, then stepped away from the door to let him in.
"Hi, sorry for coming while you're having dinner," he said as he took his shoes off and could see little Chan sitting on his baby chair pushed to the dining table.
"No, you come at the right time! We're having little Chan's favorite tonight," you informed, then led him to the dining table.
Chan glanced at the dish served on the dining table, "is it because we have the same name that our favorite food is also the same?" Chan playfully asked.
You softly laughed, then pulled out a chair for him, "please, sit down! I'll get you a plate," you told him.
Not only that it was his favorite food he was having, but you also cooked it deliciously, Chan couldn't stop stuffing his mouth, and you were more than happy to see him eat well like that.
"It's interesting to see two Chans eating their favorite food so well," you sighed in delight, then refilled the almost empty glass of Chan with water.
"But it's really good," he praised.
"It almost tastes like my mom's cook," he added, then shoved another spoonful.
Chan guessed that there's magic in every mother's hands that can make the food they make delicious and it has that distinctive taste that he can't get anywhere else.
"Thank you, Chan!" You beamed.
Little Chan giggled when he thought you called him, "Not you, it's the big uncle Chan," you said while gently poking little Chan's chubby cheek.
Before he forgets, Chan took the paper bag of Jeongin's gift for little Chan to you.
"Jeongin wants me to give this to you for little Chan," he said, "he couldn't visit because he has to practice for a show," he explained.
You pulled the wrapped box out of the paper bag and gave it to little Chan, "want to see what uncle Jeongin got you?" You asked him.
Little Chan's hands reached for the box and helplessly unwrapping the gift with his small hands, you eventually helped him to reveal a toy plane from his favorite cartoon series.
"We'll video call uncle Jeongin later to say thanks, okay?" You said to him as you put away the wrapping paper and box.
Chan hesitated to present his gift, he meekly nudged your elbow with the box.
"This one is from me," he announced.
"Oh, you don't have to!" You kindly said but took the gift from him.
You gave the present to little Chan to unwrap again, "this is from big uncle Chan," you said to him.
"Happy birthday, little Chan!" Chan sweetly congratulated him with a sweet smile and dimples on his cheek.
You gasped when you found a plushie inside the box, "oh!"
And Chan he couldn't tell if you were disappointed or slightly surprised.
"Oh, we have the uncle Jeongin's one!" You said as you handed little Chan the wolfchan plushie.
And Chan sighed with eyes closed, of course, Jeongin gifted little Chan with his designated plushie.
"Little Chan already has a favorite though," you informed him.
"The fox one?" Chan guessed.
You shook your head, "No, it's the chicken one!" You replied.
"Oh, Felix!" He exclaimed.
You nodded, "that's little Chan's favorite," you said.
You saw the disappointment in Chan's face and you quickly came up with something cheerful, "but I guess this wolfie can be little Chan's new best friend," you said.
You pinched little Chan's cheek, "right, buddy?" You asked him.
"Can you hug the wolfie? Mommy wants to take a picture!" You told him.
You positioned the plushie in his arms and then snapped a picture, which you briefly showed to Chan.
"I think wolfie and little Chan have the same smile too," Chan praised.
"Except for the dimples," you added then looked up at him as the dimples sunken when he smiled.
"Exactly like those dimples," you said to him.
Chan got flustered, he was sure his ears got red without needing to look in the mirror.
You snapped another picture of little Chan and the toy he got from Jeongin and sent it to him along with a thank you message.
"Can you excuse us for a moment? I need to bathe little Chan before he gets sleepy," you said to him as you got up from the chair.
"Then let me wash the dishes," he said.
"Oh, no, just let them. I'll do it later," you refused.
"It's nothing," he waved you off, collected the dirty dishes then took them into the sink.
Once he finished them all, he wiped the dining table clean with a cloth, and you still haven't done bathed little Chan. He got curious and peeked inside to see you were playing with him by splashing water into his body.
He smiled seeing it through the space of the ajar door then went back to the living room to get himself a glass of water.
You came out of his bedroom with the front of your white blouse drenched with water, he almost choked on his water as he saw your black lacey bra through the wet fabric.
"Chan, can you stay with little Chan for a bit? I need to change my clothes," you said from the doorway of little Chan's bedroom.
Chan had to look away for him to properly respond to you, "yes, sure," he answered.
You walked to your bedroom and shut the door close while Chan went inside little Chan's bedroom and saw him sitting on the big sofa, playing with his favorite plushie of Felix's designated plushie.
"Tiggy!" he mumbled to him while pointing to the storybook on top of the dresser.
"You want me to read you a bedtime story?" He asked him, then sat next to him on the sofabed.
Little Chan nodded.
Chan took the wolfie plushie and then handed it to him, "can you hold wolfchan? Because he wants to listen to the bedtime story too," he said adorably to steal his attention.
Little Chan hesitated but didn't complain when Chan placed the plushie in his other arm.
He triumphantly smiled at him, "wolfie is not alone anymore now," he playfully said to him.
He took a storybook from the pile on top of the dresser with a tiger on the cover and started flipping open the pages to read it. Chan put an arm around him so he could see the drawing on the book together and pointed to the character on it.
"Tiggy!!!" Little Chan shouted as he pointed to the white tiger in the storybook.
"Yes, it's a tiger!" Chan said to him while petting his head affectionately.
"Tiggy!!!" He repeated with a grin.
And Chan laughed at how cute little Chan said tiggy instead of the tiger.
"Tiggy!" Chan repeated to him.
Little Chan giggled at him while sucking his index finger, then rested his head on Chan's chest, and he felt warm, so small and fragile. Chan suddenly got protective of him.
It amazed him how a little person like little Chan could make him forget all the bad in the world and that he still can find pure, unadulterated happiness like this from him.
Chan got touched for a moment, but little Chan flipped the page and forced him to continue reading the bedtime story.
When you came to his bedroom, little Chan was already asleep in Chan's arms, sucking his thumb with his cheek pressed to the side. You grimaced at him for making him do half the work you usually do for the day.
You helped him put little Chan in his crib then kissed him goodnight on the forehead before exiting his room and tried not to make a sound in the process.
"So, you met the Tiggy?" You asked him with a soft laugh. Chan nodded, "yes. And he's one handsome tiger," he playfully remarked.
You softly laughed, then led him to sit on the sofa, "you want to see the pictures I took on little Chan's birthday?" You asked him.
"I'd love to," he said.
It was interesting that you took pictures in film and have them developed, not with digital cameras or phones. You handed him a stack of photos and huddled close to see it together.
And you took great photos, vintage looking and pleasing to the eyes.
"That's little Chan with his grandparents," you informed him.
And you pointed to a guy that Chan could easily recognize, "it's Jeongin older brother, right?" He asked.
You nodded.
Then you pointed to little Chan's smile in one picture, "look at those adorable whiskers he has," you showed him with your finger on the photo.
Chan smiled and agreed with you, he just realized that instead of dimples, little Chan has whiskers on his face when he smiles.
"He's so cute," Chan praised him as he rubbed his thumb over his face on the photo.
"He's such a sweet, sweet boy," you said with a dreamy sigh. And Chan looked at you, smiling so beautifully with crinkles in your eyes.
"I always get sentimental on his birthday," you muttered with a sad sigh.
"It feels like yesterday I was pregnant with him," you said as you rested your hand against the headrest of the sofa.
"He grew up so fast," you said as you looked into the space on the floor.
"It also makes me regret that I didn't enjoy my pregnancy back then," you sincerely admitted.
"Why?" He asked you with eyebrows furrowed.
"Firstly, because it was an unplanned one," you honestly answered.
"I was panic, afraid, scared that I couldn't take care of a human being because, at that time, I wasn't even know how to properly take care of myself," you furtherly explained.
"And most of the time, I got haunted by the fear that I can't be a mother for him," you sadly muttered.
And Chan could see the sadness in your eyes and the glimpse of fears you had at that time, so alone and afraid. People always forget that being pregnant is more than just carrying a child.
He got even more in awe than in the list of reasons you told him, none of it wasn't about you being selfish, you genuinely care for the child even before he was born. Chan thought that was when you truly became a mother: when you put your child first among everything else.
"You're a good mom, you know," he boldly said to you.
You brushed your hair to the side out of anxiety, "I'm trying still," you sheepishly said.
"When I first met you, I didn’t even know you're a mom, then I see all this and how you do everything on your own," he said, then shifted on his seat to face you, "you're amazing!"
You nodded as a way to accept his praise, "thank you, Chan!"
"You're very welcome!" He said with a sweet smile.
Chan continued looking at all the photos one by one, more little Chan with his birthday cake and a pile of birthday presents, him with a group of people which he assumed were your friends.
He couldn't hide the disappointment that he wasn't in any of these photos.
"Too bad I couldn't come to the party because this looked so fun," he said.
"We'll take a picture together next!" You suddenly said. Chan turned his head at you.
"I have to take at least one picture of two Chans together," you said with a gleeful smile.
Then you remembered something and picked up your phone, "I actually have a picture of you together," you told him and opened the photo gallery on your phone to find the picture of them falling asleep together on the sofa.
When you found it, you showed it to Chan, "I took a picture of you two that day," you said to him.
Chan looked at the picture and saw him sleeping with little Chan laying on top of him while holding a bottle of milk and his hand kept him from falling to the side.
He smiled the whole time he spent looking at his picture then snapped himself away.
"Can you send the picture to me?" He asked you.
"That'd be possible if I have your phone number," you said to him, then handed him your phone so he could put his number in your contacts.
You sent the picture right away, and Chan's phone vibrated in his jeans pocket.
Chan glanced at the clock on his phone and realized it was getting late, he needed rest from his trip since he has a packed schedule tomorrow.
"It's getting late, I'd better go," he said to you, then put his phone back into his jeans pocket.
"Yeah, you should rest! You must be tired from your trip!" You agreed.
You sent him off to the door like usual and lingered until he disappeared from your sight.
"Thank you for the dinner!" He said to you.
"I should be the one thanking you for the gift!" You said back to him.
When Chan got back to his apartment, he collapsed onto his bed and pulled out his phone to see the picture once with little Chan once again. He zoomed in into the picture, at little Chan's angelic face, sleeping so peacefully in his arms.
He didn't know how to fathom it into words, but it was like he saw a glimpse of what his future would look like, and it warmed his heart.
It would be hard for someone like him, especially in the industry he works in to have a private life before he has an established career, but as he looked at the picture of him with little Chan, he felt like his dream of having a family of his own was possible.
-
But he had to hold on to that thought much longer. He had been busy and didn't have time to come home to his apartment, he didn't even have time for himself. He could console himself with the picture he has with little Chan and sometimes stalked your social media to see a new picture of little Chan, but unfortunately, you didn't post that much lately.
One night, when got home to the dorm after a long day, he received a new message from you.
Little Chan really likes the new song, uncle Chan!
You said in the message along with a video of little Chan dancing to the song playing on the TV. Little Chan cutely danced, jumping on his little feet and also giggling along. Chan giggled along while watching the video and repeated it until he couldn't take the cuteness anymore.
Another week had passed, and Chan finally had time to come to his apartment, but he was sad that he couldn't visit right away on an early morning like this.
Just like the thought of you unconsciously calling for you, he got out of the elevator and found you waiting there in your workout attire.
"Hey! Long time no see!" You beamed while he kept the elevator door open.
"Yes, hi! How are you?" He asked.
"I'm good!" You answered, "you?"
"I'm very well," he answered as he scratched his head, "you're going to the gym?"
You nodded, then laughed, "I am so sorry, but I think we hold the elevator," you told him.
You pulled him out of the elevator and then stepped inside, "let's talk again later," you told him.
"Sure, no worries!" He said to you.
You smiled and waved at him before the elevator closed.
Chan spent the whole day sleeping in his bedroom, and when he woke up, it was dark in the room. He glanced at the clock on the wall to see if it was a proper time to visit you and wondered if little Chan was still awake. He braved himself and came to your apartment.
He got slightly shocked to find you opened the door for him, you were wearing a sweater, but he could see the silk nightdress you were wearing underneath.
"Oh hi!" You beamed and didn't wait to let him in.
"Please, come in!"
It was extremely quiet when he got in, and he believed little Chan was already sleeping.
"Little Chan is already sleeping?" He asked in a low voice. You shook your head, "no, he's at his dad for the weekend," you told him.
Chan got a bit disappointed, but there was not much he can do.
"You want to drink something?" You asked him.
"Juice?" You offered with your head slightly tipped to the side.
"Yes, please," he replied.
Chan sat on the sofa, and he noticed that you were folding the laundry, mostly little Chan's clothes. Chan found it interesting to see clothes in small sizes like this.
"I'm sorry for the mess," you told him as you gave him his glass of juice.
You sat on the other end of the sofa, "I feel a little fidgety when little Chan is away so this is what I do to calm myself down," you explained and took a piece of clothing from the basket, then folded it neatly on your lap before placing it on the stack.
"I find this therapeutic," he said as he watched you do all that seamlessly.
You softly laughed, "you've been busy," you said without looking at him and folded the clothes on your lap.
"Yeah, I fall asleep the moment I got back in my apartment and just woke up a while ago," he admitted but regretted saying it in such detail.
"Wow, you must be tired," you cooed at him.
Chan remembered something and handed you something, "Here! For little Chan," he said.
"It's not his favorite cartoon series, but I hope he likes it," he added. You took the signed CD from him and smiled, "even Jeongin never gifted me this before," you said.
"I have to buy it myself and have him sign it for me," you joked.
You put the CD away, "little Chan likes the song. I have to, at least, play it once a day," you said to him.
Chan smiled hearing the words and that smile of yours, so beautiful even without a touch of make-up.
"Thank you, Chan!" You muttered.
Chan smiled again, but this time, he boldly looked into your eyes. It was getting intense, and he believed you sensed it too.
You looked away first and put the neat stack of clothes away on the coffee table.
"Have you had dinner?" You asked him.
"Not yet," he honestly answered.
"You want me to cook you something?" You asked him.
"I don't want to bother you,"
"Oh please!" You rolled your eyes at him, "do I look like I'm busy here?"
Chan laughed and took a sip of his juice.
It was fascinating to him, watching you pacing around the kitchen, getting things from the cabinet and drawers, taking out ingredients from the fridge, and cooking for him.
The way you bent over to get something from the bottom freezer, stood on your tiptoe to get plates from the top cabinet, the way your body moved backward as you pulled open the drawer, and your hands skillfully chopped vegetables on the cutting board.
Everything was just so fascinating to him.
He had seen women do all kinds of things, especially cooking, but with you, it just felt different.
"This is really good!" Chan praised you once he tasted your cooking.
"Thank you!" You thanked him for the praise with a smile on your face.
"You're a great cook!" He praised you again.
You burst out laughing, "thanks to my picky eater ex-husband," you poked fun.
It always surprised him that he forgot this detail, that you did not only have a son but also had a husband until a few months ago.
"May I know why you're divorced?" Chan hesitantly asked.
"I assure you it's not because he's a picky eater," you playfully remarked.
Chan softly laughed.
"I might have unintentionally pressured him to marry me because I want Chan to have a present dad," you said.
"But one thing for sure is that we were both not ready for it," you sighed in between your sentences, "marriage is not something you should take lightly," you finished.
Chan nodded, he agreed with that there is a lot to consider when it comes to something substantial like marriage or having a child.
"I'm sorry if my question discomfort you," Chan said, he felt uneasy asking it seeing you got quiet after answering the question.
"No, I'm glad the question is out of the way," you told him, "it's going to be easier from here,"
Chan didn't know what you mean by that, but he was also glad that he got to know you better at that moment.
-
Chan's curiosity for little Chan's dad got answered when he saw him in the basement parking, and you were there to pick him up. You carried little Chan in your arms while talking to your ex-husband, who stood next to the car without turning off the engine.
"Can you give dad a hug?" You said to little Chan, but he seemed to be too fussy to obey you.
Your ex-husband gave little Chan a quick kiss on the head before getting back into the car and leaving.
Chan immediately walked into the entrance of the building and pushed the elevator button.
You came to a little while later, and he was right, little Chan was fussy, whining at you with his hands clutching your shoulders.
"Look, there's uncle Chan!" You said to him, "say hi uncle Chan!" You tried to cheer him up but failed.
"Hi, little Chan!" Chan greeted him, but he looked the other way.
You sighed, "I'm sorry, he's upset," you told Chan as the elevator dinged open.
He let you get inside first then followed you from behind, "what happened?" He asked then pushed the button to your floor.
"His dad promised him to see Tiggy at the zoo today, but he can't because he has to go somewhere for work," you elaborated while rubbing little Chan's back to calm him down.
Chan nodded, leaned in to look at little Chan resting his head on your shoulder from behind you, "you want to see tiggy?" Chan asked the little one.
Little Chan nodded with his pouty lips.
Chan couldn't stand seeing him sad like this and not doing anything, the idea just went through his head.
"Do you want to go with uncle Chan to the zoo then?" He asked.
Little Chan nodded again with a smile that bloomed on his face.
You turned to face him, "Chan, you don't have to, I'm sure you're already busy," you resisted him, feeling a little uneasy taking his time, "I am planning to go with him anyway,"
"No, it's okay. I'm free for the day," he responded while taking little Chan's hand in his so he could wrap his small hands around Chan's index finger.
"And also, I miss playing with little Chan," he added, then gently pinched his cheek.You looked at him and sighed in defeat.
"It's going to be fun," he assured you.
And it was fun. You were so grateful for having him around carrying little Chan and helping him to see all the animals, playing with him, telling him things, tirelessly teaching him how to say 'gorilla' because little Chan kept saying it 'kolala' and you smiled witnessing all that.
Little Chan got super excited when he was about to see the tiger, he couldn't stop shouting, "Tiggy!" He screamed and Chan struggled to contain his excitement when he sat him down on the outer barrier of the captivity.
"Where's the tiggy?" Chan asked him with a hand holding him firm.
Little Chan pointed to the tiger walking to the small pond to drink water, "tiggy!" He shouted.
"How many tiggy is there?" He asked him again.
"Let's count together!" He said, held little Chan's hand and pointed it to the tigers inside the captivity, counting it together.
You couldn't stop smiling, and you took pictures of them together with your phone.
You took a break from walking around the zoo to eat snacks you quickly packed earlier because the trip was sudden. You sat on a picnic bench and spread everything out on the table with little Chan sitting on the table and let him eat the sliced fruit himself. While Chan drank one of little Chan's bottled juice.
"Oh wow, that looks delicious!" You beamed at little Chan when you saw him stab the fruit with the tiny fork.
Little Chan laughed and lifted the fruit in the air.
"Can mommy have a bite, please?" You teased and opened your mouth to let him feed you.
But instead of giving it to you, he fed it to Chan instead.
"It's for me?" Chan asked him before opening his mouth to him.
Little Chan nodded.
Chan opened his mouth and let the kid feed him, he chewed it while grinning.
"Thank you," he muttered to little Chan who was also grinning seeing him eating so passionately.
You glared at Chan, "if it keeps going like this, I'd lose my brownie points," you joked.
Chan laughed, "I suggest you change your name too then," he joked back.
The zoo was crowded as you walked to see more animals, Chan was carrying little Chan with one arm because it was dangerous to let him walk himself and you had a hard time keeping up with them with people brushing your shoulder as they walked past you.
"Hey, come here," Chan said, then grabbed your hand to hold you as you walked.
It was awkward to hold hands so you decided to link your arm instead and walked together.
Thankfully, it was less crowded when you got to the aquatic animals' section, and Chan decided to let little Chan roam around the place and walked to see the fish inside the tanks while he watched him from a distance.
A man came up to you and handed you his phone, "will you please take a picture of us?" He asked, then gestured to his little family already posing behind him, next to a tank of colorful clownfish.
"Sure!" You answered.
You took a few pictures and let them choose themselves which one was best.
"Let us take a picture of your family as well," the man said.
"Oh, no, we're not-"
But Chan came and put his hand on the small of your back, "sure, please take a good one!" He said, then handed him his phone.
You stood next to him while he carried little Chan again on his arm, then pulled you closer next to him, you smiled as the man aimed the camera at you.
"What a nice young family!" The man said as he handed Chan his phone back.
You got flustered and ready to deny the statement, but Chan already got ahead of you.
"Thank you so much," he said to the man.
It was dinner dark by the time you exited the zoo and decided to have dinner out together. You fed little Chan as you waited for your order to come, Chan hesitated to eat because you were still busy feeding little Chan when the meals arrived.
"You can eat first, Chan, go ahead," you told him.
Little Chan shouted because he thought you called him, "Not you, it's uncle Chan over there," you cooed to him, then fed him another spoonful of his baby food mix.
Chan offered to play with him once he was done with his dinner, he took little Chan to play so you could have your dinner in peace. The drive home was quiet because little Chan fell asleep once he got into the car.
And Chan kindly carried him again back to your apartment, then lay him down in his crib.
You grimaced at him, "you did the whole thing today," you said to him in a low voice.
"I didn't know what I would have been without you," you added. Chan led you out of little Chan's room, "I had fun," he responded, then walked to the kitchen.
"Plus, I don't have to do my workout today," he said as he stretched his arms.
"Oh!" You exclaimed while laughing.
You put a hand on his and gently squeezed, "But seriously, thank you, Chan!" You muttered.
"Thank you for today!" You said again with your eyes looking straight into his.
Chan felt warm inside, not only did he get a taste of what it felt like to have a family of his own, but he got to help you and be someone you could rely on, which made him feel like he has just achieved something larger than his life.
Chan went back to his apartment feeling so contented, and looking at all the pictures taken of him, and you with little Chan perched on his arm made his heart swell with so much warmth. He never felt this kind of happiness before, the intensity and the immensity of it scared him yet he wanted more of it.
-
Once Chan dived back into his work, he realized that this also bring him happiness, but it was a different kind and it satisfied a different part of him.
It was like two different worlds, and if only he could find the balance of that, he believed he would make one, perfectly happy man.
A few days later, Chan visited you before he'd be going on a one-week trip abroad for work. But he found you opening the door looking so weary and restless, yet you still smiled at him.
"Hi, Chan! Nice to see you!" You said to him.
"Do I come at a bad time?" He asked.
You shook your head and stepped aside to let him in, "it's Chan," you sighed.
"He's sick with a fever since last night," you said as checked little Chan sleeping in his bedroom.
"But thankfully, nothing serious, he's sleeping now," you said to him.
"Did you take him to the doctor?" He asked you.
"Yes," you answered then sat on the sofa, "the doctor said it's just common cold,"
Chan sighed in relief but looking at you slightly anxious like that made him feel uneasy and he guessed you didn't get much sleep last night. You looked wan and weak, it was like you were the one who was sick, not little Chan.
"Have you had lunch?" He asked.
You glanced up at the clock on the wall and realized that you haven't had anything since this morning, "I haven't eaten anything," you answered.
Chan softly hissed in worry, "we'll order some food then," he said.
After lunch, you fell asleep while Chan was doing the dishes. He got sad watching you sleeping on the sofa, tired and worn out, he was sure that this wasn't your first time handling a sick child before, but knowing that you had been doing it all alone made him broken inside.
He put a blanket on you and accidentally woke you up, but Chan was quick to put you down, "you can nap," he whispered, "I'll keep an eye on little Chan," he assured you with a hand on your shoulder.
You put your hand on him, "thank you," you muttered then went back to sleep.
Chan silently went to little Chan's bedroom and checked on him, put a hand on his forehead for a quick temperature check, he was warm, and he could see the beads of sweat formed on his forehead.
As he gently wiped his sweat, Chan understood your heartache, seeing little Chan sick, and couldn't smile or laugh as he used to make him feel the same way.
You woke up in the afternoon to the sound of Chan's phone ringing on the table, and the sky was turning darker when you saw through the window. You dashed to little Chan's room to see Chan cradling him in his arms.
"He was crying earlier, so I tried to calm him down," he whispered.
You walked up to see little Chan going back to sleep again, "your phone is ringing," you told him.
He nodded, carefully lay little Chan back on his crib, and tried not to wake him up in the process. He walked out of the room while you went to check on little Chan.
"Is it from work?" You asked him as you got out of little Chan's room.
Chan nodded, "I think I have to go," he said.
"Sure, please don't let me get in your way," you told him.
He walked to the threshold and put on his shoes, "I hope little Chan gets well soon," he said to you then went to the door.
His hand lingered on the door handle when you called him.
"Yes?" He asked.
You went to give him a quick hug, "thank you so much for the help," you sincerely said, he helped you a lot from today alone.
"You can always ask for my help," he said to you.
You lingered by the doorway to see him leaving, feeling so grateful but also a bit sad that he had to leave.
-
Chan kept texting you asking for little Chan, and he was relieved to know he was fully recovered after a few days. Too bad he couldn't visit to play with him.
He consoled himself by looking at the pictures of him and little Chan together or the videos you sent him.
He found it a bit funny that he already felt like he belong with you and little Chan.
He got excited to play with little Chan after being away for a long, he knew that you were at work, but he still came to your apartment to play with him. Found him were playing with his toys in his bedroom, Chan lay down on the floor to play along with him until an idea came to his mind.
Can I take little Chan for a swim?
Chan asked in his text message to you.
I don't mind, but I'm not sure he likes it.
I'm going to make him like it.
He confidently said, there was this urge in him to teach everything to little Chan especially when it comes to sports, maybe it was because he was raised like that. Chan took little Chan swimming on the balcony of the apartment building which residents can use for free.
Chan got so excited to teach him swimming, little Chan was scared at first but Chan slowly familiarized him with the water then n deemed he got comfortable enough, he began taking him for a swim, and patiently taught him to move his arms and legs and of course, got him jumped into the pool so many times until he didn't scare to do it anymore.
When they got back to the apartment, you have just arrived from work.
He ran to hug you as you squatted with your arms spread out to welcome him.
"Where have you been?" You sweetly asked him.
"Woofie swim," he mumbled his answer while nuzzling his head in the crook of your neck.
"You just got back from swimming with uncle Chan?" You asked him again while holding his small hands in yours.
Little Chan nodded with a wide grin.
"Was it fun?"
He nodded again.
"Will you take mommy too when you go swimming next time?"
"Yeah," he answered then ran to the living room to start rummaging through his toy box and taking out toys.
You sighed, "children just don't get tired," you muttered when you got up.
Chan smiled as he watched little Chan start playing with his toys in the living room, "by the way, what is woofie?"
"Oh!" You exclaimed
"It's his nickname for you, one day he pointed to the TV and shouted 'woofie'," you explained.
Chan laughed, "I think he has mistaken me for the wolfie plushie,"
"He's not entirely wrong, you're just as cute," you said while laughing along.
Chan had been called cute so many times, by his peers and mostly by his fans, but remembering that you were older than him made him feel not that great being called cute.
But still, he couldn't help himself from getting shy from the compliment.
When he sat there at the dining table with you and little Chan, eating the meals you cooked and playing with little Chan in between got he felt nostalgic, like he had felt this feeling before, this comfort, this ease, it feels like home.
"Can I be the one who gives little Chan a bath tonight?" Chan asked.
You got taken aback by the request for a moment but nodded, "yeah sure, but you have seen what could happen," you reminded him.
He nodded and understood.
And just like you had expected, Chan got out of his room with his t-shirt drenched wet, you eventually helped him finish the task by putting little Chan in his pajamas.
"Stay with him," you told him, "I'll get you clean clothes,"
You ran to your bedroom, and found a white t-shirt big enough for him, then ran back to little Chan's room.
"It's the biggest t-shirt I have," you told him.
Chan didn't hesitate to take his t-shirt off right there and then, it blew you away how well-built his body is, the muscles on his stomach, arms, and back, you whimpered just by imagining how firm it would feel under your touch.
You held your breath watching the muscles flexed as he put on the t-shirt and you wondered why you watched him like a creep, then hurriedly went to little Chan's side to prep him for bed.
"Tiggy! Tiggy!!!" Little Chan shouted for his favorite bedtime story.
But he specifically asked for Chan to read him the bedtime story as he kept pointing at Chan, "woofie!"
You scoffed then handed him the storybook and frowned, "I'm losing a lot of my brownie points today," you said to him.
Chan laughed, "but how can I compete with his mom?" He said with a grin that made his dimples appear.
You left the room to let him read the bedtime story for little Chan, you cleaned up the mess in the living room and put the toys back into the box.
After a little bit more cleaning in the kitchen then you headed to your room to change your clothes since you hadn't changed out from your working clothes.
And Chan didn't mean to peek, if it wasn't for the mirror that reflected it to him through the left ajar door, he wouldn't have seen you standing half-naked while picking clothes from your closet.
It got him fanning himself that he went to get a glass of water to calm himself down.
You got out of your bedroom wearing a nightdress with a sweater on, tying your hair into a messy bun as you walked up to little Chan's room to give him a goodnight kiss.
Chan sauntered to the stacks of the album on the shelf and it startled him when you came out as he flipped the photo album open.
You both exchanged an awkward glance then laughed, "Can I see this?"
"Of course!" You replied.
He sat down on the sofa, began flipping the photo album open, and saw photos of you on a trip while you were making tea in the kitchen.
"Were you always like taking pictures in a film?" He asked while looking at a picture of you sitting on desert sand.
"I always like taking pictures no matter it's a film or digital or just with my phones," you answered then walked to sit on the sofa.
"Is that your dream?"
You were sipping your tea when he asked.
"Photography?" He asked.
You pursed your lips and thought of an answer, "It's just a hobby," you answered.
"Most people treat their lives as movies. Me? I treat it like a memoir," you remarked.
You saw a photo of you while you were hiking, "like this," you pointed to the picture.
"I remember my tent got torn by a wild boar at night. I was lucky it didn't bite half of my head too since I was sleeping," you told him.
As Chan kept flipping the page of the photo album, he saw the you that he never thought of before, he didn't expect you are the adventurous type. He realized that he never really got to know you other than being a mother to little Chan.
"You went to so many places," he beamed as he flipped to the last page of the photo album because the rest of the pages were still empty.
"Well, I had my fun," you brightly said to him while holding your mug in your hand.
"Do you miss it?" Chan sincerely asked you, he got curious whether you got fed up with this domestic life since your pregnancy was an unplanned one. He could imagine having that passionate youth life then all of a sudden, you became a mother without you intended to.
You smiled at him, "you must think that I feel forced into this life?" You wildly guessed.
"I didn't mean to be rude but, have you ever thought that you could have so much more than all these and you could have filled all of these empty pages with more memories," he elaborated.
You softly sighed and put down your mug, "well yeah, that's reasonable for you to think so. But motherhood itself is a challenge, and I am struggling still, but I won't change a thing even if I could," you said.
"Chan has been nothing but a blessing for me, plus, I got to experience a lot of things through him," you paused to chuckle.
"Through little Chan," you corrected.
"And it's kind of exciting to introduce him to a lot of things, for the very first time," you said with a grin.
That made sense to him, he got that excitement when he taught little Chan to swim today, he didn't know if little Chan would remember him as the one who taught him that but it didn't stop him from feeling this pride inside of him
"So if you ask for my dream, it would be going on a trip with little Chan and taking a lot of pictures of him, of us together," you said with a dreamy smile.
Chan nodded in agreement.
He couldn't explain how much appreciation he has for you, even though you were only older two years than him but you are mature beyond your age. He rarely sees that in a person, maybe because you experienced a lot of things more than most people your age.
"How about you?" You asked back.
You folded your arm and put it on the headrest of the sofa, shifting on your seat to face him, "what is your dream?"
That took him a long time to form an answer, mostly because he hadn't thought of it until you asked him.
"I think my dream is an obvious one," he answered.
"Have you ever thought of your life outside music?" You asked out of curiosity.
Again, he couldn't think of an answer because his life have been revolving around that one thing.
You lowly chuckled then patted his shoulder, "it's okay, you're still young, you have all the time in the world to figure it out," you said.
"Why did you say that?"
"Say what?"
"That I am young?" He asked with a crease formed between his eyebrows, "you're aware that you're older than me just by two years, right?"
"Yes, I am very well aware of that," you said with a smile.
"We're both technically still young," he persisted, "we're still in our twenties,"
You laughed again, "yes, okay, I get it," you said.
You suppressed your laugh and then took a sip of your tea again.
Chan sensed you held something in, "come on, spill!"
"I just don't know you're the kind whose sensitive about age," you answered.
He smiled a thin smile and sighed, "It's not that," he assured you, "I just hate it when you put it like that,"
"Like what?"
"That we have an age gap," he answered.
"But I am older than you,"
"That feels like you put a distance between me and you," he blurted it all out without thinking.
"Oh," you exclaimed, and you understood that put him in discomfort.
"I'll try to be considerate from this moment on," you promised then your hand reached for the collar of his shirt to pick up lint.
Chan was surprised by the proximity, he caught the smell of you, a hint of citrus, baby powder, and sunshine, his eyes lowered to your lips, and he got the urge to kiss you right then and there.
But he missed the moment as you retracted yourself away to pick up your phone ringing next to you on the sofa.
"Yes, hello?"
He guessed it was from little Chan's dad because you kept talking about how little Chan had been doing and what time he would pick him up this weekend.
Chan felt like he was eavesdropping when he heard the conversation turned casual, and asked about each other’s life.
And Chan felt… left out.
Support my blog by kindly reblog or tip me on my ko-fi!
taglist: @marvelsleehan @y0urperfect @miixsh @blackonblackwaves @jisungsleftcheek @zaynlikfalls @leeknowrecord @a-hyunjinshairband @cloudyybinin @callanhead317 @jisungsbff01 @bigsobforskz @a-katsukitty @dearalice @gabbunnyy @lixhues @yubinism @abiaswreck @whatudowhennooneseesyou @marvelobsessedperson @elvelour @phobia0325 @crimesscene @sunggasm @channies-luv @hyunelixies @hyunskkhami @f0siq @yangjeongincertifiedsimp @dontsd @pinkdragonwings21 @hyunjun-jpeg @whitecastles @eurphoricxbts @tokyolhtl @drhsthl @st4yr4cha @chanslittlegirl @francine-xi-xxvi-xcv @jeyelleohe @miumuam @hoshis-hoe @rinocats @yunho-leeknow @whateveerx @xuxibelle @tatumadams19 @nightrayseishina @omgheyitsme @littlelillyjs @lilithlilu @hyunee1 @avyskai @midnightchanis @wniektty @sungmon-xx @amethyst16xo @hugs4chan @felbok @maddywillbeatcassiesass @kpopaddicted05 @kosmoskookie @catlixxie