Shitposts - Tumblr Posts

hell yeah i wanna get laid

into my fucking GRAVE

me, arriving at chernobyl: hmmmm don’t like the vibes here

oh you don’t wanna respect people’s pronouns?

well your pronouns are gonna be was/were if you keep this shit up

i am not the same person i was 17 and a half minutes ago

i am now slightly worse

if you’re bored you can simply close your eyes and rotate and cow in your mind

it’s 100% free and the cops can’t stop you

i resent the dominance of The Car in america but also love that access to cars allows for a really fun fresh and exciting emotion called “being insane alone in your car”

no! they’re not symptoms of depression

they’re

well well well, if it isn’t the actions of my own consequences

“you’re so resilient!“

thanks! my options were that or dead

there are officially 8 billion people on this godforsaken earth

click here for the article

“hey, the facial reconstruction of this roman emperor just looks like some italian guy“ well buddy i have great news about where rome is

how do i know i exist?

simple, if i was a simulation my actions would be governed with a modicum of common sense and logic and let me tell you friend they are Not

me: wow i wonder what will happen if i set this thing on fire

me: *sets the thing on fire*

thing: *is on fire*

me: incredible

i’m telling you guys, molotov cocktails really work. any time i have a problem, i throw a molotov, and boom! right away i have a different problem

insanity

fem ghost

yes

I'll be honest y'all, I came to Tumblr for the raw quotes completely out of context, the shitpost that actually end in a deep philosophical discussion on the nature of society, and the breakdown of people trying to make a point by actually experienced people telling you the #facts, but I can't find y'all anywhere.

Where do I look to fill my feed with the people who make your legendary posts that somehow make it as screenshots to Pinterest or narrated as videos on YouTube?

Where are my relatable folks who vent their frustrations by going on a tangent to a completely unrelated topic yet somehow circle back to end up teaching me a life lesson while also making me laugh? Where are my reviews on how Hollywood did it wrong or somehow did it right? Where are you people with way too much experience in That One Thing but actually I do This Other Thing for a living? Where are they who do This Other Thing for a living that can somehow be applied to That One Thing? Where is the Rossetta Stone of culture clash where I end up learning something new from the stupidest life story in existence?

Where are the quippy one-liners that sound like they make no sense but gosh darn it Tumblr can dig deeper than any English class could ever teach you to go and we do it for fun rather than expectation of reward in the form of a meaningless mark on our life's report card?

WHERE ARE YOU MY FELLOWS I NEED MY SEROTONIN?!?!

Image ID: A chibi version of Barnaby from Billie Bust up. They are boxy in shape, however keep their same eyes (minus the small eye lashes,) pink bow tie, and signature fluff. They are vocal stimming with the words “HooHoo!” An arrow is pointed at them and the text “very autism” is placed nearby. The background is black. The outlines of Barnaby are rough in texture, like a crayon.

ID END

god i love phighting message logs

octopus 2022 wrapped

this year you disguised yourself as:

coral 10023 times

ocean floor 8064 times

coconut shell 244 times

various fish 196 times

scuba divers long lost wife 12 times