Saraya Your Writing Makes Me Feel So Warm - Tumblr Posts

stars in your sky

(feels like a) college au, yearning ~friends~ to lovers

“you’re here again.”

“i’d rather be here than home,” so he steps through your doorway.

“you know what i say…”

“this can be my home, i know. i think about it.”

“and where do those thoughts get you?”

“to your front door. i think about the green cabinets in your kitchen, and the herb pots on your balcony. i think about the extra toothbrushes in the linen closet, and the empty dresser drawers awaiting my things… then i’m on my way here because sometimes it feels too good to be true.”

you watch as he takes off his shoes, and pushes his hair away from his forehead, bare feet on plush carpet. he fills two glasses with water in the kitchen, handing you one with i smile.

“but i love you. you know that.”

“mmm”

“are you saying i’m too good to be true?”

“i know you’re real. i’ve felt your warmth and memorized the butterflies enough times to know. but there’s still something, and i guess it only comes out when i’m alone. maybe i just miss you.”

“and now i’m right here, hyuck, so i hope you hug me soon… hold me until the missing fades away, but i don’t mind a little longer too.”

with his arms wrapped around you, his lips brush your shoulder. his hair sweeps your neck, your cheek. his fingertips knowing where all the moles lie beneath your shirt.

“when i was little, i had this journal. i wrote in it everyday. i took it to school and wrote even more. i took it outside for recess, and the story evolved over the years. i wrote about loving popsicles and soccer practice. then i wrote about loving music and part time jobs to buy cds. in high school, i kept writing. the journal had changed, but it was still love on every page. i didn’t realize i kept it… not until a few days ago. the last entry was about loving and wondering if all the love i knew until then is the same for people. does the feeling change? would my capacity grow? i honestly didn’t know, not for years.”

“what do you know now? have your questions been answered?” you search donghyuck’s eyes, wondering if you can find the answer all on your own.

“you answered them all” and he kisses you. traces the back of your neck. smiles against your skin and gives you goosebumps.

“the love is so much stronger. i couldn’t learn anything from vans or popsicles. i couldn’t stay up late, wanting conversations over sleep. but when i'm alone, i meet thoughts of insecurity.”

you give him a moment to continue, but his silence wins. “insecurity?”

he pulls away from you, nodding through the action of brushing hair behind your ear. “something like that.”

you can feel your frown, and he smiles softly, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “why?”

“i wonder if i’m enough. if i have enough to offer. i’m learning as i go with you, but sometimes… do you want someone who already knows?”

your expression eases and radiates adoration. “lee donghyuck, you’re everything to me. you’ve felt this way without even realizing the stars in my sky were hung by you, illuminated by you. you’ve wondered about the love you know and feel and show, hoping it’s enough, while i fall asleep with a comfort i didn’t realize could exist. i can breathe. because of you, donghyuck, i can finally breathe.”

so he holds your face between his hands, searching your eyes while his own start to shine, becoming consumed by the beauty of your relationship, realizing the truth in your words, and it’s a fucking beautiful sight. “i’ll hang stars in your sky for as long as you’ll have me” and it sounds so fucking cheesy. cheesy you would’ve hated at 18: up all night watching movies in your dorm room, but no… oh god, it’s so different now.

suddenly, it’s like your life is playing behind your eyes, and you wish the scenes could reflect against the wall for him to see because he knows how you feel about love, marriage, relationships. how you’re scared of ruining everything with paperwork and golden bands, but right now, the idea has you levitating in your living room: the possible forever. craving the heaven, the sanctuary- this love for the rest of your god damn life because you love the stars.

you love the stars

in his eyes

the way his smile lifts your mood

his good morning to you, my darling

folding laundry together because it’s one of his excuses to see you again so soon

and you’ve already made a spare key

placed it inside an envelope with a tiny note that reads,

sell your bed and use mine.

you rush to the kitchen pantry, digging out the envelope from the box of corn flakes, skipping towards your honey boy.

“this is for you” and us and forever.

he looks at you and you kiss his mouth, laughing through excited nerves “open it!”

“you’ve never been patient.”

“thankfully, it didn’t scare you away.”

your heart skips a beat as he pulls out the note and then sees the key

and something beautiful happens

because his eyes melt into pools of

absolutely yes i want you and i hate my bed anyway

and then he’s attached to you. his lips are velvet, and your favorite memory, your favorite wish, and your favorite desire. chest to chest, his hand on the back of your head. he’s encouraging your legs to wrap around his waist, trying to find your bedroom between kisses and jokes about a longer grocery list.

“as long as you don’t mind pink bed sheets with little hearts.”

“could we compromise for stars instead?”

“…you really thought you didn’t know love? that’s hard to believe.”

the pink sheets with little hearts have their last night before the stars.