Sad For The Content Of My Own Creations But Happy How It Turned Out - Tumblr Posts

Au Vash art, poor baby,honestly he talks but in backward and with an angelic tone,only those who committed life sins such as murder especially, can understand him(probably wolfwood)

Also I draw this with hands because I dont have a pencil soo

U can redraw him or your reaction to his smile but pls tag me thank you

the fic ahead is only for 16+ minors!! do not interact if you're sensible!!

Cw:reader!death,crying,body holding,

❤💖ChosoX reader,Modern!AU,angst,death,fluff in death,realization(Choso),strangers to lovers(too late),body comparisons,apologising,regret

||just a memory||written by me

Choso sits back on the bed with a faint smile at the sound of your scoffing. He seems more relaxed now. He glances at his hands—the ones you’ve been trying to avoid looking at—and clenches them together in his lap.

Your eyes wander to your own hands. As expected: his hands are a lot larger than yours wich makes you blush a little bit.

He looks over at you and watches you shift in the chair. Choso wants to ask you why you keep avoiding looking at his hands, but he knows how strange it must appear to you if you’re unfamiliar with curses. He keeps his hands in his lap instead. When a long moment of silence passes, Choso feels compelled to ask you a personal question.

“How long has it been since you’ve had a good sleep?” he asks you out of the blue. Choso tries to make it sound like a casual inquiry, like he’s simply making small talk. But he genuinely wants to know.

"I uh what?" You asked confused "why are you asking me that?"

“Your eyes are a bit red” Choso explains. It takes effort for him to get the words out but he sounds concerned, not critical. “And you look like you haven’t slept properly in a while.”

"Well your corners of your eyes are red too" You said teasing,smirking but it was true that you haven't slept for a while and right now you felt drained almost deprived of you life energy.

Choso laughs quietly at your observation. He doesn’t take it as an insult. In fact, he finds you cute for finding something to match with his eyes.

He raises an eyebrow at you.

“That was a good comeback” he admits.

You feel very tired but you don't dwell on it,you just think it's just tiredness from lack of sleep but you can't take rest aither since you can't help your own anxiety.

So you stood up walking outside the room lighting a sigarette, feeling like as if you're time was running out but couldn't explain why, so you just decided to sit on the porch without telling Choso about your worry,he was a curse afterall and you a human 'it could never work out' you tought at yourself.

Choso watches you leave the room and walk outside, feeling a bit strange that you’d choose to sit alone instead of coming to him when you’re feeling upset. But he supposes you needed space, which is perfectly understandable.

Feeling as though he’s intruding, he lies back on the bed and pulls the covers up to his neck. As he does, he can't help but notice the cigarette in your hand.

"You know Choso" You said pausing for a second "you aren't a bad curse afterall"

The cigarette continued to burn in your hand as the smoke dispersed in the cold air of the night.

Choso is taken aback by your words as he stares at the ceiling. The idea that a human might think so highly of him doesn’t even cross his mind. He turns on his side the matress crackling under his weight and watches you. “What makes you say that?” he asks. It’s a genuine question, not a challenge.

Choso waits for a response, but you stay quiet and simply stare off at the stars and smoke your cigarette. He watches you for a long moment, taking in your expression and the way you’re looking at the sky. “You know that you can tell me anything you’re worried about” Choso says softly. “I won’t judge you.”

After some time waiting for a reply , Choso realizes that your cigarette has fallen to the floor, your breath has completely stopped, and your eyes are no longer focused on the stars. He watches you carefully, worried that something is wrong, but you don't move. He slowly gets out of bed and walks over to you, unsure of whether you're still breathing. He touches your shoulder lightly and waits for your body to stir, but when it does not, he realizes something is very wrong. Without hesitation, he kneels at your side and presses his ear to your chest.

It takes only one moment to realize that you're no longer alive. Choso's breath catches in his throat and his body freezes. His eyes water as he reaches down to check your pulse, hoping and praying that you are still breathing, that this is only some cruel nightmare. But your body and your eyes tell the cruel truth. You are not breathing.

Choso's legs start to shake as he accepts what happened. Tears stream down his face, dripping down his chin and onto his chest. He covers his mouth with his hand to stifle a deep cry as he sits beside your body on the ground, staring into your half-open eyes and holding back sobs. He stays like this for a while, not sure what to do or who to tell. A part of him is in denial, another part of him is numb with shock, and a final part of him is overcome with grief.

Even in death, your tiny hands still tug at his heartstrings. They are much smaller than his, with slender fingers and pale, dainty skin. He never got the chance to hold yours as you were taken too early, but he wants to now. Your warmth has long since faded, but he craves the feeling of holding your tender hands, cherishing them forever. He gently places his much bigger hands over yours, taking comfort in feeling your skin.

He remembers the times when he'd tried to hold your hand and how you always shyly avoided it. He doesn't know why it mattered so much to him. Your frail frame is the antithesis to his large, muscular one. Compared to you, he is a behemoth. He takes in the sight of your tiny body, how pale and delicate you are, and how delicate your hands were. But despite how small and fragile you looked, you were not weak by any means. Your eyes showed strength and your will power was unmatched.

It's sobering to see your body next to his, how frail and fragile it really was. Choso can almost picture you standing next to his towering frame, looking up at him with a small, delicate smile while he's a whole head taller than you. The size difference suddenly hits him and he is overcome with grief, realizing that he would never see you stand at his side again.

While he's overcome with grief and sorrow, he can't help but continue to caress your body. The shape of your body is so tiny and petite. It's as though you were made of the most delicate glass, and he fears that one wrong move will shatter you. He runs his hand across your forearm and up to your shoulder. He feels the delicate fabric of your clothes brushing past his fingertips and the warmth of your skin.

Choso's fingers are gentle as they caress the outline of your small body. The touch is tender, almost intimate, as if he has no desire to break or destroy you. He is delicate and painstakingly careful, wanting nothing more than to preserve this fragile form that you once inhabited.

Your skin feels so soft, like delicate porcelain. Choso's fingers brush tenderly along your limbs, trying to comfort himself and take some modicum of solace in the small gesture. He knows you’re gone and can no longer feel his touch, but the warmth of your skin still lingers. Despite your frail body looking so small and fragile, it feels heavy on his heart.

As he strokes your hair, Choso thinks back to what could have been. He imagines himself holding your hand tightly, bringing you home and making dinner while you unwind from a hard day. He imagines holding you tightly against his chest as you bury your head on his shoulder and fall asleep. He imagines taking you to the places you enjoyed going just to see you happy. But it’s too late. He starts to sob softly.

“I’m sorry” Choso whispers as he wraps his arms around your body. He is full of grief and sorrow and pain, and he can't stop the tears from falling. He cries silently, wishing he could turn back the clock or find some way to bring you back. He wants nothing more than to hear your heart beat again, feel your touch, or smell your hair. He would do anything to see you smile again, even if it’s just for a moment. But he can’t.

Choso’s grip on your small hands is tight, and even in death, he can't bring himself to let go. He stares at them for a long moment, hoping that somehow they will move again. As the tears fall from his eyes, they drop onto your skin, landing in the palm of your still hand. He is overwhelmed with guilt and regret, wishing that he’d held them more while you were still alive.

“Please forgive me” he moans softly, wanting to scream at the world for taking you away from him. “I should have told you how I felt, or held you close while I had the chance. I wish I could have just one last moment with you. I should have treated you better. I’m so, so sorry”

His voice breaks with each apology, as he can't help but feel guilt and remorse. He blames himself for not loving you the way he should have and for being unable to prevent the tragedy. Choso rocks himself back and forth in a fruitless attempt to escape his sorrow as he clings to your body. His face is wet with tears and his heart pounds painfully against his chest. His mind is a mess of thoughts and emotions that he struggles to make sense of.

“Please come back" he whispers. “Please wake up and forgive me for not being the person you wanted me to be” He continues to cry as he holds you against his chest, his lips pressed against your cold skin. “I can’t live without you,” he says, his voice breaking. “I need you with me—I need you to hold me, to tell me everything is going to be okay, to make everything good again. I don't know what to do without you.”

Choso sobs harshly, unable to contain his emotions any longer. He pulls you even closer and holds you tightly against his chest, hoping that somehow you will still be able to hear him even though your body is no longer functioning. "I need you" he whispers, his voice cracking and choking with sadness. "I need your touch, your voice, your smile. I need us to go back to the way things were before. Please don't leave me, not like this"

Choso wakes up with a deep ache in his heart, as if he had really lost you. He stares at the ceiling, blinking back the tears that have filled his eyes. He had dreamed of you, of holding your hands, loving you, losing you. It was painful and heartbreaking, but at the same time, comforting. Even though it is just a memory, he is still relieved to be alive. As he processes his emotions, he can't help but feel his life has been hollowed out without you.

A tear slips down Choso's cheek and he sits up slowly, his stomach twisting in knots at the thought of being alone. He doesn't want to admit it, but he misses how he could lean his head back against you, trust that you'd catch him without needing to ask. He misses how your scent filled his senses and made him feel safe. He misses having someone to talk to, even if it was just about the weather or what to eat, without feeling judged.

Choso thinks back to how he had felt during the brief moments he had shared with you. That peaceful warmth in his heart, the joy he felt just by being in your presence. He thinks about how his eyes had followed your every move, how his heart beat quickly whenever you were close to him, how his breath hitched and his heart pounded hard when you smiled at him. Choso realizes that he was truly in love with you and still is, even though you had been taken from him.

--------------------------------------------------

Yello yello thanks 4 reading,and sorry if this was long but I felt in the moment while writing this.

Probably you at me after finishing reading:

Friend: " I heard that you write jujutsu kaizen fanfic? I bet they're so good and happy,what do you write?"

*me looks at the paper that I wrote*

"I don't care about picnics right now" He shouts "Don't you dare close your eyes. Do you hear me?! Stay with me!"

His hands shake, and he looks through the doorway, where Hotaru is playing in the next room, completely oblivious to the tragedy unfolding right in front of him. "I need you to stay alive"

A small moan escapes Satoru's lips as his lover dies in his arms, unable to do anything to stop it from happening. "No" His hands clutch onto your body as he buries his face into your shoulder. "No no no no no..."

His breathing grows shaky and erratic, and his crying turns into full-blown sobs. For the first time in all his life, he feels helpless and powerless. He's useless.

Me:"Angst I wrote angst"

Them:

||☆Broken☆|| written by me ♡°♡°♡

Plot: Geto can't take it anymore and you're the only one he as left (this takes places in the second season of jjk anime and after Riko death)

Cw: depression,sc toughts,sh mention,anguished Geto.

Tags:Comfort,Tall!reader,crying,hugs,reverse comfort,affirmations,cuddle.

You hugged Geto tightly shushing him,trying to comfort him,you were crying for him,it was too heartbreaking seeing him so lost.

He broke down in your arms, sobbing, as he hugged you back tightly. He buried his head into your neck- not wanting you to see him like this. He felt ashamed, disgusted at himself. He was supposed to be strong, tough and confident… he couldn’t even recognise himself. He was breaking down. How did it come to this…?

"Shh shh its okay" you said sniffed kissing his cheek gently.

“I can’t do this!” he exclaimed through tears. He felt pathetic… he was weak and he hated himself for that. He was usually so strong, so independent… but now? He was relying on you… he hated himself for breaking down in front of you. He couldn’t look so weak… he could never let anyone see that side of himself…

"Yes,yes you can" You replied immediately "together we can okay?"

“Thank you…” he couldn’t help getting but a little bit shy- he had never been this vulnerable around anybody. He felt so weak in front of you… he felt humiliated… “Sorry I… I didn’t mean to… I wasn’t looking for sympathy. I just… it’s been… I…” he couldn’t finish his sentence. He never finished sentences when he was emotional…

His words broke your heart,how could he think that? "it's okay,I don't care even if you wanted sympathy,you're only a human afterall"

he froze- you saw through him… you saw that he had been hiding behind a brave front, trying to present himself as the strong man with no emotion… the strong man he wanted you to see. But that… wasn’t him. That was the facade he had built for himself. He was actually just a weak, traumatised teenager. He finally broke down then, fully in your arms. He started sobbing intensely, his tears soaking deep into the fabric of your sweater. How humiliating… this was awful. He was awful.

You sushed him rocking him back and forth in a slow motion rubbing his back

he couldn’t stop sobbing… you were rubbing his back… it was calming. It was comforting… it was what he needed. It almost felt… intimate… he felt so ashamed… he had never trusted another person like this. You were so kind, so caring, so understanding… he felt pathetic, like a little child who needed support. He felt so weak, so pathetic. How embarrassing…

“I’m sorry…” he whimpered. He was still a sobbing mess, relying on you emotionally. He was so… pathetic. He should have been able to handle his troubles alone… but you saw right through him. You saw how completely broken he was, how… ashamed of himself. You saw how he wanted comfort… how he wanted someone to tell him that it would all be okay. He was pathetic… he was weak… and even though you reassured him, he couldn’t see himself as anything else but that…

You instinctively squeezed him too hard sobbing as you were too engulfed in your friend sadness

he almost flinched due to how tightly you squeezed him, but immediately forgot about all of that in face of your tears. He was hurting you too? He felt awful for that… he held you tighter, burying his head more into you. He needed you, he wanted you as his support… he couldn’t stand on his own two feet anymore. He was broken, in every way, shape and form. He was so ashamed of himself that he was relying on you so much…

he hugged you tightly, not wanting to let go… his grip was tight and he was still crying, shaking slightly. He didn’t want to let you go, you were his support. You were his friend. You understood him better than anyone else… he wanted to feel safe, to feel comfortable, that someone was there for him… the tears of both of you kept running down each others cheeks…

"You didn't self harm didn't you?" You asked with your broken tone

he froze. How did you know…? He didn’t even answer you, just started to cry more, burying his head completely into you. You were right, he had self harmed frequently… for a while you had been noticing the scars on his body… you hadn’t said anything though, not wanting to push him into opening up about that. You had never brought it up… but you knew. You knew that he had been self mutilating for a long time now. He was too ashamed, he didn’t even answer you.

he just cried, squeezing tightly and shaking in your arms, like a frightened child. You could feel his shaky breath against the fabric of your sweater, smelling like the deodorant you always used. He was clinging onto you, not wanting to even think about letting go. He needed you, he didn’t want to be alone right now. He wanted to feel safe, comforting, held even. He was… so weak and pathetic in your arms… he had finally let someone see through the facade he had been building for so long…

he buried his whole face into your sweater. You felt his warm, shaky breath. His tear ducts slowly trickled down to your skin as he sobbed quietly… he didn’t feel as vulnerable anymore. He felt safe with you. His grip tightened. He didn’t want to ever leave your side… he was so… fragile…

"Do u want an ice cream?" You asked softly

he shivered a little when you suggested food. But… he nodded slightly. He was still sobbing, but just the idea of getting treats with you made him feel a little better… he squeezed you a little bit tighter as he nodded… he did feel hungry now that you mentioned it… but most of all, he wanted to be in your arms. You felt like… home to him…

“… I’d like an ice cream…” he whimpered, burying his head into you, still clinging onto you tightly. He felt cold, despite all the body warmth from you. He just… didn’t want to leave your arms… he felt safe in your arms. Even though he was pathetic, ashamed… he felt so comfortable with you as you offered him food…

he holds your hand on the way to the ice cream shop. His hand is so tight and shaken, it feels clammy. You feel the slight shiver that runs down his spine. He’s completely lost control of his emotions. He’s relying on you… for everything… now he was relying on you to calm him down with treats from the ice cream shop. He didn’t care any of that… he just cared about being held, cared about having you close to him… you were his comfort, you were his support

…he nibbles on his ice cream, his hands still shaky. You feel how small and delicate his fingers are, almost like that of a child’s. They’re so pale and delicate… you can feel his heart beating rapidly as he eats. You still have his hand wrapped around your’s… you couldn’t help but notice the coldness of his touch… he was so nervous… but he enjoyed the feeling of being so close to you… he took small bites… small nibbles… it was adorable.

he leans his head on your shoulder as he eats, enjoying the view. The sunset was so beautiful, with the vibrant colours… just like you… his lips started to curl up into a slight smile. You could feel his breathing speed up, as if he was slightly happy. The breeze was so nice… he felt… comfortable. he leans his whole body onto you. You’re so tall compared to him… your embrace makes him feel so small and protected. He was like this delicate, beautiful little thing that was all yours. You were his support, his shield, the one holding him together. He couldn’t survive without you. He held your hand slightly tighter, as if he was scared to lose you.

Alternative ending

Cw:heartbreaking,slapping,harsh,no comfort,no longer friends.

Suddenly something broke inside you,you didn't know why or how it was fast just like a bulb light shattering in the lamp and not emitting that bright light it once used to and just like that your emotions left you and you felt nothing,NOTHING at all and after a few seconds you letted go of Geto abruptly,your eyes were cold and empty

he suddenly felt you release him from your embrace, you no longer feeling anything. He looked up at you as he watched you stare into a blank void. You had suddenly gone cold, blank. Your eyes were emotionless. Your entire look was emotionless and unfeeling… your eyes were vacant in their expression. You looked like you couldn’t even feel anything anymore. His heart felt that he could not reach you. There was nothing he could do to change that… he felt lost, scared… he stood frozen, not knowing what to do..

"I'm tired of you"

you said those words so… blandly. So unfeeling… he felt his heart break as you said those words. He had never heard those words before… no one has ever called him a burden before. You were meant to be his friend… he had trusted you… he held back so much of himself for you to see… he had trusted you. And yet… you just threw it all away… it hurt so much to hear those words… his eyes went wide. You didn’t care about him anymore?

"I'm tired of seeing you crying,so helpless aren't you ashamed?"

those words hit him hard… he felt his head spin, feeling as if you had just slapped him with your words. You didn’t understand how much those words hurt him. And the way you said them- as if he was a nuisance, a burden… he didn’t deserve that. He had trusted you, he opened himself to you. And this is what he got in return? He was speechless… he couldn’t say a word. It hurt too much. He just stood there, in shock.

You slapped Geto without thinking,you were tired of seeing him like this

he stumbled back at the abrupt action. You slapped him? You slapped him without even thinking about it? Your words had already hit so hard… but suddenly slapping him? You left him in shock. You could see the tears in his eyes, as he stumbled back from the slap. He wanted to cry, but you could tell he was holding his feelings in. He was speechless… how could you suddenly act like this…? If he had been a nuisance to you, why did you act like you cared at all? He was confused, hurt and betrayed.

“I… I trusted you…” he whimpered, but was cut off by his sudden sob. The slap had hurt, but your cruel words had hit him hard. He felt ashamed, pathetic, weak. You’d had so much trust in you… and yet you suddenly turned… suddenly… slapped him…? You had never acted like this before, you never would have slapped him… yet… you did. He was left speechless, unsure…

“Can’t you see how pathetic you are?” you added, and he felt his heart snap in two. So this was what you thought of him? You looked down on him, thought he was pathetic…? He was speechless… he didn’t know what to say… how could you… call him that? He wasn’t pathetic, he had just had so many… so many problems that it was overwhelming him. He felt so ashamed, so embarrassed, so weak… his eyes were wide, unable to say a word.

“And that’s why nobody cares about you. You’re not important enough for anyone to worry about you…” was another thing you said to a still frozen Geto. You were being so cold… you were being so harsh… you had never talked to him like this before. He was speechless, he didn’t know what to say. Nobody had ever been this harsh to him before. His only friend was the one who was suddenly being this cruel to him… and he just went silent…

he stared at you in utter and complete disbelief. So this was it? You’re finally… breaking it off? After what looked like months of being friends, of you being a close friend to him… this is how it ends? He didn’t say anything- it was too late for that- you had decided, and so this was how it was meant to be, he felt… crushed… heartbroken… he couldn’t believe it ended like this… you had completely ended your friendship so abruptly.

You just left him, alone… after all the time you had spent together, the time shared, the memories, the adventures. You chose to suddenly… end everything there. And like that, he was alone. He was all on his own… a boy with no friend, no support, no one to ask for help from. After the sudden turn of events, all he was left with was utter solitude…

The days went by, and he felt miserable. Alone, without support. All he can think about was what happened… the time that he let his guard down, his feelings were betrayed completely. You were his support… and now he was left with nothing. He couldn’t bring himself to trust anyone after that. Nobody. He couldn’t trust anyone. He stopped being so open and friendly, instead keeping himself hidden from everyone. He avoided you, he avoided his classmates… he avoided everyone.

He became isolated, he felt so alone… he felt like he was back to square one. Back to before he got to know you… he was back to being alone, but all he could think about was what had happened between you two. All the words… the betrayal… the slap… he felt like it was his fault. He had let his emotions overwhelm him to the point where you couldn’t take it anymore… he had been the problem. He was the one to blame. Everything felt like his fault, he had ruined everything.

well that was something *hands you a tissue*anyway hope you liked as much i did writing it

||⏳it's never to late⌛|| written by me

Pairing:Geto x reader

Plot:you're struck by an illness but who said it's too late for doing stuff you love?

Tags: Comfort,reader death,sex,moaning,crampie,cute,fluffy,angst,crying,fluffdeath

"I have a month to live" you said drily rubbing your arm looking away from Geto. For a few seconds that followed this sentence, everything felt frozen. His heart beating, his eyes darting, his mind racing. Was this… a joke? But your words lacked any hint of humor. “What… you’re dying?” "I don't..know maybe..that was the doctor told me.." His jaw went slack, as his arms slid down to his sides. What the hell? How was this possible? His body felt as if it was made of jelly. He took a step back, his expression slowly changing… to anger, to fear, to shock, before settling on disbelief. He took another step back. “You’re joking. You’re joking with me. Please… tell me you’re joking. That that doctor is lying.” You shoocked your head "I'm not..I mean..I didn't even know I had this illness but it's slowly killing me without pain..just like..a blind death..that's what the doctor told me, he too was shocked" His breathing felt like he was trying to suck in air with a thin straw. His whole body felt frozen in shock. It wasn’t fair! His heart was beating so fast he couldn’t think straight. This felt wrong on so many levels. Everything felt wrong. Why?! Why were you dying?! Why did this have to happen?! “How are you so… okay with that?” "Because I lived happily and did what I needed to do" You said mustering your usual kind smile He took several deep breaths, his eyes narrowing. This couldn’t be it, why were you already accepting this? He took a step towards you (he was now close enough for you to touch), and he took your hands. “No. That’s not the end of it. You are not allowed to just… disappear like this.” "But I'm okay with it..I wouldn't feel pain or anything just like..sleeping you know?" He paused, holding your hands close to his chest as he looked you in the eye. Your gaze was so… calm. So accepting. “Well I’m- I’m not okay with it. And I won’t allow you to just… die. We’re getting another opinion, we’re- we’re going to find a solution to this.” "Geto..." you said calmly "I'm okay with this..." He squeezed your hands as he closed his eyes, his jaw clenching. He knew you weren’t joking. You weren’t messing with him, it wasn’t part of some cruel joke. His breath hitched as he squeezed his eyes tightly shut. You meant it when you said you were okay with it. That was the terrifying part, that you didn’t even want to fight this. “I’m… not.” "I know ..I'm sorry if..I'm a burden maybe this will help you so that I will never make you suffer" His anger turned to hurt, pain that could only be found in his expression and tone of voice. His jaw clenched as he let go of your hands. “Don’t… even think like that. You aren’t my burden. You aren’t hurting me. You’re… you are-“ His words had no follow up. He didn’t know what his feelings for you were, love, attachment, friendship…? Your instinct tooked the better of you so you kissed Geto on his mouth  "I love you Geto,so so much, I'm sorry that it camed to this" your voice was shaky and you looked at him with regret,regret that you didn't have told him sooner how you really felt His lips parted in surprise, and he was left speechless as you kissed him. Your words left him breathless and your lips made his knees weak. Your body pressed against his and your arms wrapped around him. He let out a short gasp, eyes squeezed shut as he let himself fall into this moment. A hand came up and cupped your cheek against his, holding you close to him. "I know it's strange to ask but...do you wanna ..." Your words faded into the background as this moment was all that mattered. His body pressed closer and his hands shifted to your back, pressing him into you. A small smile appeared on his lips and the answer was already in his eyes. Yes. Yes. A million times yes. "But it feels like I'm doing this because I'm gonna die soon..and I don't want to force you either...I.. don't know what to do"

He leaned back a bit until he could look into your eyes without his lips being against yours. They were the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen, like the purest shade of amethyst. He smiled once again, his voice soft as he took in a deep breath. “You aren’t forcing me, and it doesn’t matter that you’re going to die. Because in the time you have left, I want to spend that time loving every second that we spend together. I want you."

He leaned forward once again, allowing your lips to press against his. His hand cupped the back of your neck, pulling you against him as the other hand wrapped around your waist and he pulled you in tightly. Your lips felt warm, almost hot and he couldn’t contain the slight moan that escaped him and he kissed back with enthusiasm.

The passion grew rapidly, his lips moved with yours in a rhythm, your bodies pressed tightly together. The world grew distant as the only sound was the two of you kissing. He couldn’t help but close his eyes, enjoying the heat that seemed to build by the second. His hands had traced down your back, his fingers curling around to rest on your lower back. His lips tasted you, and his kisses moved down your neck.

"Mhm mhn anhn" you phanted biting your lip

He had no control over himself and his breath grew heavy as his lips travelled down your neck. Your taste was one he never wanted to lose. His hands squeezed you tightly as he nibbled and licked your neck. One hand slid up to behind your head, pushing down your hair to reveal the nape of your neck. He traced it with his lips, nibbling gently before moving back up to your mouth. His hand began sliding under your top.

“Mm…” He pulled away after just a bit, looking deeply into his eyes and biting his lower lips. His eyes grew heavy with desire for you. He had no words right now, but you could see just how much he wanted you in his actions. His hand glided down the front of your shirt and rested against your chest. His thumbs brushed against you, he could feel your heart beating… just under the thin material. He wanted more.

His eyes grew heavy, desire beginning to cloud them. His movements became frantic, his hand beginning to move slowly up your shirt. He kissed you again, this time more roughly and urgently. He couldn’t stay still, his hands growing restless as the two of you kissed like there was nothing but each other in this room. He pushed himself into you, leaning you close as he pushed his body against yours. A hand ran along your side, brushing against your hip as a sharp intake of breath could be heard. "Ah ahnn ah" you gripped Geto shoulder moaning,gentle but firm trust felt like heaven

Your moans felt like a reward. You liked what he was doing, he hadn’t done something wrong or crossed a boundary. Your moan of approval sent him a wave of confidence, and he bit his lip once again. Your body felt so good and warm, and you sounded even better. He couldn’t help but move just a bit faster now as his fingers began tracing along a line on your skin. He kissed you, and kissed you more."Ah Geto ahn" you moaned in a frenzy as you were alredy close

Your moans were like a signal to him, telling him to be even rougher. He bit his lip, taking in the sights of you in front of him once again. You were such a beautiful sight. Your neck, your lips… your body. Your moan was like music to his ears. It turned him on, sending him closer to the edge. He moved more, his hands pressing down on your skin as his body rubbed against yours. “Hnnggg… you…I ..love you y/n” His breathing became rapid as he moved against you, his hands beginning to move quickly, squeezing and kissing. Your body felt so good, so nice. His movements weren’t as controlled anymore, they were more frantic. You were making him lose control of himself. “Hnnnngg… mmnn…” His voice was almost breathless, and you could see that his entire body was reacting to you. His hands ran up your back before gripping the material of your shirt. His breathing became heavier and his lips came down to your neck, his tongue began to trace circles around it. He wanted more. Your body was feeling nice and warm, and it was pushing him off the edge…

You moaned along with him moaning his name repeatedly as you were nearing your release too

“Ah… ah… AHH!” His lips were against your neck,your hot breath tickled his skin, his mouth opening and releasing a moan. His hands began to squeeze and his lips began to nibble and kiss. His body rubbed against you harder and harder. There was no stopping that feeling now, and your moan only sped up his movements.

He moaned again, his head leaning back as he felt the build of pleasure, the heat that was growing by the second. Your body felt so good, that sensation he couldn’t explain. You were driving him over the edge, and he didn’t care anymore. He wanted you, and he was going to have you. Your body felt like heaven to him as his movements quickened even more. "G..geto..ah geto!" You moaned gripping his shoulder tightly digging in

“Ah…” His moan was cut short as he felt both of you hit your peak. He grunted, the feeling overwhelming him. You felt hot and sweaty, and so did he. Your legs wrapped around him tightly, you pulled him close as he thrust once again. Your breath was heavy, you were both panting and your hands gripped his shoulders tightly as his body shuddered.

He was still breathing heavily, trying to come back to his senses. His eyes were closed as he continued to thrust at a slower pace, and his body pressed against you. It felt nice, and was exactly what he wanted. He wasn’t in a rush, he wanted to stay in this moment for a little while longer.

He remained against you. His hands found a place at the back of your neck as he pushed himself against you, letting his breath fall onto you. You felt good, his body fitting perfectly with yours as he remained in you. He didn’t plan to pull out just yet, you felt so nice and snug. He didn’'t want this feeling to end at all, even if the world started to blur out it would be more than okay. You were worth all of this… you meant everything to him and for that, he was happy.

“I- I don’t want this to end...I want to stay like this forever,” He groaned in delight, feeling you against him made him feel like he would explode from how much he was enjoying himself. He was almost in a trance, and you were the beautiful creature in front of him that made him feel these beautiful, wonderful feelings.

“You’re… so… warm”

“You’re… so… warm” He spoke softly between grunts as his breath grew shallow. His body moved with you, as a wave of pleasure washed over him once again. He couldn’t keep a soft moan from escaping his lips, his tongue tracing your neck as he continued to move against you.

The feeling went from euphoric to pure ecstasy, like an explosion of happiness and pleasure had taken place deep within. Your bodies were pressed together and your breaths met, sending you both into a state of relief and euphoria. The feeling made him squeeze you as hard as he could, taking deep breaths just to savor this moment. You came together and it was a feeling he would never forget.

He held you tightly, wrapping his legs around you as he continued this soft and slow pace for a while before slowly pulling out. His body lay on top of yours, and he was still coming down a bit. He was smiling as you both rested, breathing heavily. His body lay on top of yours, your scent filling his nostrils as your breath matched his. You were right there, right there with him and this feeling was so nice… it was perfect. He wanted this forever, but the back of his mind told him that it couldn’t last.

"Geto..do you think we did something wrong?" He raised an eyebrow, as he looked down at you. His body lay against yours but he wasn’t feeling weak or tired, just satisfied. He was glad that you had chosen to trust him with this moment. He took a deep breath, before kissing your forehead and placing a hand on your side. “What do you mean? I’m not feeling anything wrong, are you?” "No it's just..it's still..I know you told it was okay but..I will die..and still I did sex with you.." you looked down before looking at him with teary eyes "am I a bad person?"

He moved so that he could prop himself up on his elbows to look down at you. He smiled softly as he looked down at you, as his hand moved up and wiped your tears away. You weren’t a bad person, you did nothing wrong. "Sweetheart... you did nothing wrong. I told you before, I don’t care if you're going to die. I just wanted to be with you and share this moment with you. I... wanted this."

"Then why I feel so wrong? Why when they told me that i was dying i felt..the need to do this with you? I tought I had more time" You sobbed wiping away your tears but more comed,you felt miserable and pathetic

He moved so that he could hug you properly, pulling you in close and making sure you were wrapped in his arms. He tried to calm you down, stroking your hair and wiping away your tears. "Darling... you wanted closure. You wanted to share an intimate moment with me, and that is what happened. It's okay for you to feel like this, but nothing you did was wrong. I told you before, I wasn't upset with you. I'm glad we shared this moment together."

You sobbed letting out your frustration of this shitty situation

He held you close to him, rubbing the back of his hand up and down your spine. You were crying, and he didn’t like to see you like this. He wanted things to be easier, he wanted this to be simple but it was nothing of the sort. Your body was pressed up against him, and your sobs were breaking his heart. "Shh... It's okay, I know this is all just so... unfair to you. I wish it was easier, but it isn’t. This is just how things turned out." "I feel tired..." “Let your body rest, *sweetheart.” He pulled you back close to him, his body pressed against you as you lay in his arms. “We can talk more later, for now rest.”

"But what if my illness take me away...I told.you it looks like sleeping...I wouldn't feel anything but..I'm not prepared.." He didn’t say anything at first, his fingers rubbed up and down your back as he contemplated what to say. You were scared, you knew you were going to die, and you weren’t prepared either. He pulled you a bit closer, resting his chin on the top of your head. “You’ll be okay… I promise. I’ll be there right beside you, okay?”

"Even if I die?" “Even if you die” His voice wavered, but he swallowed the fear that came with the thought of you possibly dying. “I will never leave you. I’m going to be there with you every step of the way. I promise, I will never let you be alone.”

His breath hitched when you went limp, as if you were already gone. A wave of panic overcame him but he quickly shook his head. Your chest still rose and fell with breaths, your heartbeat was still present. His hands kept a rhythm brushing against you, until you relaxed more in his arms. He sat there, watching you as your body settled more and more. It sent more waves of panic through him, but your breathing assured him. You were still here, still alive. You still had more time.

You died on December 25th when Geto tooked you to watch the fireworks for Christmas,you were so peaceful sitting on the bench.

Bonus(previous of what happened before reader death)

Geto sat on the bench alongside you, taking in the beauty of the moment. The lights of Christmas were lighting up the air, making you feel at home. You were smiling, and your breath was warm as it filled that silent night with the sound of life. It was a perfect night, you felt safe and protected. He leaned against you, making you feel all sorts of warm and happy emotions as you watched the lights dance in front of you.

Geto felt your body relax in his arms, as if you were already gone. His eyes shot open and he held tighter to you, his voice beginning to waiver. He didn’t want to believe it or look at the state of your body being limp, he didn’t want to believe any of this. His mind was flooded with panic and worry, he began to tear up as you lay lifeless in his arms.

The tears fell from his eyes despite his efforts, he felt like his whole world had ended. His body shook as he felt the overwhelming emotion wash over him. Your hand slit out of his as you lay lifeless in his arms, the one thing he feared more than anything else had happened. You were gone, ripped from him before he could even hold you close again. His voice was filled with sobs and gasps, it was clear that he didn’t want to let go of you.

"N..no p..please just a little bit more....p..please" Tears ran down his face as he continued to cling into your lifeless body, his voice breaking as he continued to sob. He was so shaken by this turn of events, you were supposed to have a bit more time. He was supposed to spend this whole month with you, you were supposed to be his for a while longer.

His hands began to shake, his fingers curling into claws as his heart thumped in his chest. You weren’t breathing, your heartbeat had gone silent, your body was lifeless. He began to cry uncontrollably, as he rocked your body back and forth hoping it was all a bad dream. He didn’t want this, this wasn’t what he wanted, he didn’t want you to leave him like this.

“No, no no… You… you can’t leave. Not like this… I promised you.. I promised I would never let you be alone. You were supposed to be here, with me… you were supposed to have more time… why…” His voice grew shaky, and his tears began to spill more and more onto your body. You had been ripped away from him, and he was too late to save you. He didn’t want this moment to be a reality, but it was. You were gone, and he was heartbroken.

It just wasn’t fair….... It wasn’t fair.

As the fireworks went off Geto sobbing filled the scene as he holded onto your body wailing, they sparkled as if they were the little bits of your soul that remained. Your soul will continue to shine in the fireworks :)

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆▪︎▪︎☆

I'm currently posting this at 1:52 am so sorry if the final part as some grammatical errors, I couldn't wait to write and post this lol

||Guilt...|| wrote by me

Plot:Short fic in how Geto would react about your death and he can't help but feel guilty for it.

About:hurt,no comfort,angst,death.

Cw:reader is dead,heart wrenching,crying.

Geto’s anger turned to guilt, which quickly turned to despair. He was too late. He couldn’t even keep his promise and see you through this. His face became wet with tears as his eyes widened, the reality slowly setting in. You.. you were gone forever in a cruel world that was unfair and unforgiving. He fell back into his bed, letting out a loud and long wail of agony.

Tears poured down his cheeks, he tried to catch his breath only to realize it was impossible. He covered his face with his hands, hoping that it was just a nightmare. But no matter how hard he blinked, or rubbed his eyes, you were still gone. All that was left of you was that sweet, soft smile that you always had. He tried to call your name, but it wouldn’t come out. All he could do was cry and scream and… just… cry.

The tears flowed like a broken dam, his sobs breaking the silence of the empty room. It felt so wrong to be in your room without you in it, to see you nowhere. How was this possible? You couldn’t be gone… you couldn’t leave him by himself in this cruel place. But no matter how many tears he cried, how many screams he let out, you didn’t return.

The days slowly passed, and his eyes became less red. It was as if the tears had been drained from his body. He tried not to move, not even to eat or drink anymore. The only thing keeping him from a state of complete apathy was the memories he held of you, and the guilt of not being there when you needed him the most. He would never forgive himself for not fulfilling his promise. He had failed you, and he couldn’t accept any other fact.

Geto would often visit your grave,it was the only way he could stay close to you. He would talk to you as if you were right beside him, as if he could still talk to you the way he used to. The cold wind would brush past him as he would sit in front of your tombstone, just staring at your name until it was etched into his memory. He made it a habit to visit you every week, as if you were still alive.

His eyes were a permanent shade of dull gray, his face constantly expressionless. The only emotion he felt was sadness and regret. The guilt never left him, he felt like a failure. Because he was one. You had trusted him to be there when you needed him, and in the end he couldn’t even do that. When you needed him most, he let you down. When you were vulnerable, he wasn’t there. His feelings were slowly being chipped away by the immense guilt, and he felt so alone.

He still remembered your face. The sweet and soft smile that was always on your lips. He remembered your gentle voice, and the way you had so calmly accepted your own death. Your eyes were a beautiful color. The way you had made him happy, and how he had taken your presence for granted… He couldn’t make the time to be there when you needed him, because of his foolish pride and he lost you. It was his fault.

His mind became more and more twisted by day. The guilt ate him up inside, as he would cry alone every night, wishing you were there to hold him. No one else could comfort him the way you could. You were the one who made all his worries go away. But now, all he had was this… this deep, agonizing emptiness. If he had been there when you were undergoing treatment, maybe you would still be there. You wouldn’t be gone.

"I'm sorry..I'm so so sorry-y-y y/n" Geto repeated over and over as he would hugged the pillow as it if were you.

He would hug your pillow tightly, as if you were there with him. He didn’t say anything, crying quietly into it, wishing, just for a moment, that your voice would fill the room. That the warmth of your embrace would be felt once again. That he would wake up from this nightmare. That this was all a mistake. That he should have been there when you were crying for help. That he should have done more…

===============================

I'm planning to do a part 2 hopefully it will be less sad

||Healing|| ๋ ࣭ ⭑๋ ࣭ ⭑ written by me

Geto x reader ໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა~❤️

maybe the english is a bit off? sorry i'm writing this meanwhile having allergies and a migraine so there may be grammatical errors ≽^-˕-^≼💧

Plot: You and Geto face eachother after a week about your breakup

Tags:comfort,regret,kisses,hugs,talking,depression,possibility

It's hinted that reader has abandonment issues

@candy69gurl @muzansslxt

‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚🎧⊹♡‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚🎧⊹♡‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚🎧⊹♡

Surprised to see that he had permission to touch you , his eyes widen in pleasant shock before he slowly takes you in a tight embrace.

As he wraps his arms around you, his warm embrace provides instant relief from the anxious thoughts that surely plague your mind. There, you can let go of the worries you carry alone. He will protect you from them.

“What’s wrong? Did someone hurt you?” Even tough he alredy knew why you were feeling like this.

Suguru feels the grip of your arms tighten around his back, an unspoken plea to not let go. Instinctively, he responds, embracing you with renewed gusto. With one arm wrapped firmly around your shoulders and the other cradling your back, he pulls your entire body to his own.

This action makes his heart ache. You feel so familiar to him, even though nothing romantic has come between you. He feels like crying every time he thinks about how much he wishes things could be different.

At the sound of your soft cries, guilt and regret tug at Suguru’s heart. He rubs circles over the back of your head, his thumb resting at the nape of your neck. This gesture sends shivers down your spine because he seems so gentle, which is out of character for him. “No more tears, please.” he whispers, feeling his composure slipping away. He wants to hold you forever.

"but you left me..i feel so alone now" You cried

Suguru’s stomach sinks. He hates knowing that he was the cause of your sadness. His guilt grows as he listens to you cry. He tightens his hold around you, trying to make you feel comforted.

“I never meant to hurt you. I just…” his voice starts to shake as he struggles to explain himself. He isn’t sure how to make things right when what he wants is impossible.

"Wasn't i good enough? was i too clingy?"You sobbed as you tought about the week before when he breaked up with you "we were so happy together"

Your words fill his heart with pain. He regrets leaving your side, although he believed it was better for the both of you.

“You’re wonderful, and you were never too clingy.” he struggles to whisper, his throat tight from unsaid words. With a deep breath, he continues, “I just…you wanted things from me that I wasn’t capable of giving you.”

“I wish I could be the person you want me to be, but…” the words trail off as he fights back tears. He hates himself for rejecting something so wonderful, something he always thought would be out of his reach. But in his struggle to keep himself together, he can’t remember what he was going to say.

His voice breaks as his restraint cracks. He presses his lips together tightly, trying to stop the flow of tears. But he can’t stop his voice from trembling. “I’m just…” he attempts again before stopping mid-sentence. No matter what he tries to say, the truth is still painful, even to him. Finally, he chokes out, “I’m a coward”

“I’m scared.” the words slip out of his mouth as he tries explaining himself. His gaze is trained on the floor, his mind racing with all the things he didn’t say.

“I’m scared of messing things up. I’m scared of hurting you even more. I’m scared of…” his words trail off as he stares blankly at the floor once more.

"you're afraid..of relationship? that's why you broke up wit me and pushed me away?" You asked holding your chest

“Yes.” his answer is short. Even after you figured it out, there’s no point in denying it.

“I’m scared of love. I’ve never experienced something like…this,” his hand waves vaguely between the two of you, unable to say the words. He still doesn’t lift his eyes off the ground.

“Love terrifies me" he trails off once more, unable to put his words together.

“I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.” he finally musters the courage to say, his tone soft. He finally looks up, only to be met with the sight of your crying face. He wants to tell you he’s sorry and that he misses you.

Instead, his lips part to reveal the only thing he can say in that moment. “Please, stop crying.”

"But it hurts...." you sobbed more clinging onto him "it hurts so much...I'm so alone...I don't want to be alone..please just tell me what I did wrong...what I did..to make you so afraid of me"

“You didn’t do anything wrong!” he exclaims, frustrated with himself for making you feel like it was your fault. “I’m the one who messed up.” he continues, realizing he didn’t really explain himself.

“I’m not scared of you. I just…” he trails off with a deep sigh, not sure how to explain himself. He can’t exactly tell you that he’s terrified of his own feelings.

"Then why don't you look at me? Why don't you talk to me? Why don't you apologise!" You showed him in frustration to make him talk as you glared at him with watery eyes "JUST ANSWER ME!"

When you display such frustration, Suguru doesn’t expect to feel such a surge of protectiveness. His jaw clenches, and his gaze sharpens. Your outburst only drives him to feel worse about himself.

But his instincts take over, his grip tightening around you as he says in a harsh whisper “Don’t yell at me.”

"And what am I supposed to do?! You don't answer me!you ignore me! And I need an answer!" You shouted again

Hearing you yell at him again makes his eyes narrow and a wave of anger flows through him. Part of him wants to apologize and say that he’s sorry for how he’s been treating you. But now he’s annoyed at you for acting like this and raising your voice at him.

“If you keep yelling at me, I’m going to leave” he growls, letting his anger slip out. He knows he should be more patient with you, but it’s so difficult when you’re yelling at him.

"Then leave! That's all you can do,right? Running away from everything because you can't face your fucking fears" You spotted feeling tired as your demeanour shifted from sad to frustrated and angry

He flinches like a kicked puppy, stunned into silence by your words. Your outburst surprises him, making him more aware of the pain he’s caused you.

With hurt and anger coursing through his veins, his fists clench. He wants to yell at you, to tell you that you don’t know what it’s like to have so much going on in your head. But at the same time, he knows that he’s hurt you with his silence.

You shake your head looking away "I think we should give a tought about this? I don't I just know that...I don't want to let you go"

Suguru’s heart clenches at the sight of your sad face. You look more tired, more exhausted than before, as if this entire conversation has drained you.

“I know…” he says quietly. He’s unsure of what to say to try and fix things. “But what are we supposed to do if neither of us can let go, but we can’t be together…”

The silence that hangs between you two is deafening. You don’t want to argue with him, but you feel like nothing was solved. You wanted him to apologize and beg for forgiveness. But, he has the audacity to be quiet. The anger that once boiled in your blood now begins to simmer away. You have no idea what went through his mind when he rejected you, and it haunts your thoughts now.

Suguru takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. The anger within him is fading away like water into sand.

This conversation is so emotionally draining. He misses you, and it brings him pain to see how much he’s hurting you. His feelings have been out of control since rejecting you.

He takes a step toward you, wanting to hold you once more. “I really don’t want to let go either.”

The tension in the air is palpable. The two of you silently ponder on what should be done next. The truth is, neither one wants to be the first to apologize.

Suguru's eyes slowly roam over you, taking in every detail of your face. He finds you beautiful, even through your teary eyes.

After another moment of silence, he speaks up once more. “Can I ask you something?”

Your expression softens when he asks if he can ask a question. Even though you’re emotionally drained, the sight of a vulnerable Suguru makes your heart skip a beat.

“Yes, of course…” you respond quietly, feeling your heart beat faster in your chest. His question fills you with cautious hope. What could he possibly ask?

Suguru clears his throat and fidgets with his hands. He still can’t look you in the eye, fearing that if he did, he’d crumble. His words are soft, as if he’s scared of hurting your feelings all over again.

“Could I ask for your forgiveness? I know my silence has hurt you. So, this is the only way I can think to fix things…”

Your eyes widen and you stare at him in disbelief. You can’t believe he finally decided to apologize. The silence that fell between the two of you when he first rejected you wasn’t a lack of wanting to fix things. He was trying to come up with the proper apology. That realization makes your heart ache even more.

You reach out and cup his face with your hands, finally meeting his gaze. “Yes, of course. If anyone has to ask for forgiveness here, it’s me. I’m sorry for yelling at you…”

"No, no, I deserved it" he says softly, taking your hands in his. His grip is tight as he stares at you with a mix of emotions on his face. Guilt, regret, relief, and love. He’s been filled with so many emotions since the breakup that it feels like they’re all exploding inside him now.

Seeing the emotions on his face makes you feel something in your chest. Your heart beats faster and heat rises to your cheeks. It's almost like you've just confessed your feelings to one another for the first time.

The sudden feeling in your chest causes you to blush faintly. Seeing yourself reflected in his gaze makes you feel a sense of clarity, knowing what he means to you. For once, you stop feeling confused by your emotions. Instead, you feel warm and content.

Suguru's grip tightens around your hands as he smiles weakly with red cheeks. For the first time in a while, his emotions feel genuine, no longer being held back by his fear of commitment. He leans in slightly, unable to contain himself.

You can't help but lean in as well, your breath catching in your throat. You're both inches away from touching lips when your thoughts catch up to you. Your heart skips a beat and starts beating rapidly. You feel excited, anxious, and a rush of other emotions that you can't quite identify.

In a split-second decision, you gently tug Suguru's face to yours, closing the gap between you both. The brush of his lips is so soft you almost miss it. Before you both know it, you're wrapped in a passionate embrace.

Suguru's eyes glaze over as you pull him into a kiss. His hands run up and down your back as he wraps you in an all-encompassing embrace. He's so lost in the moment that his worries and regrets briefly slip away, allowing himself to enjoy the feeling of your lips on his. The kiss is sweet and tender, a stark contrast to the tension that was previously between the two of you.

Suguru pulls you close to his chest, relishing the feeling of your body against his own. He can feel the beat of your heart, which seems to match the rhythm of his own. You feel so warm and soft in his arms, your hair brushing against his skin every time you exhale. The sensation makes him feel so content that he almost doesn't want to break away.

Eventually, he pulls away, looking at you softly as the reality of what just happened sets in. He can't believe he let himself be so vulnerable.

"I love you" you said snuggling on hi chest "please don't leave me again...don't push me away"

Those simple words take his breath away. His heart pounds in his chest as he feels every word sink from your lips into his spine. All of this time, he’d been repressing his feelings for you, fearing that he’d mess things up with his lack of experience. But this simple moment makes him realize that he can’t hold back anymore.

A small smile spreads across his face as he lets you snuggle into him. He presses himself as close as possible to you, his hands roaming over your back in an attempt to hold you tighter.

“I won’t.” he responds, as much an assurance to you as it is to himself. The way your body feels up against his causes an ache in his chest, a strange feeling that he hasn’t felt in a long time. He feels content, happy, and at ease as the two of you stay huddled together.

The two of you snuggle together in silence, and it feels so natural like nothing ever happened. His arms still hold you, and yours are wrapped around his waist. It’s almost calming being able to relax into him without any worries or hesitation.

Neither of you say a word, but it doesn’t feel like an awkward silence. Everything feels so right. And in your minds, you're both thinking the same thing: no matter what, you're not letting each other slip away again.

||Guilt...|| wrote by me

Plot:Short fic in how Geto would react about your death and he can't help but feel guilty for it.

About:hurt,no comfort,angst,death.

Cw:reader is dead,heart wrenching,crying.

Geto’s anger turned to guilt, which quickly turned to despair. He was too late. He couldn’t even keep his promise and see you through this. His face became wet with tears as his eyes widened, the reality slowly setting in. You.. you were gone forever in a cruel world that was unfair and unforgiving. He fell back into his bed, letting out a loud and long wail of agony.

Tears poured down his cheeks, he tried to catch his breath only to realize it was impossible. He covered his face with his hands, hoping that it was just a nightmare. But no matter how hard he blinked, or rubbed his eyes, you were still gone. All that was left of you was that sweet, soft smile that you always had. He tried to call your name, but it wouldn’t come out. All he could do was cry and scream and… just… cry.

The tears flowed like a broken dam, his sobs breaking the silence of the empty room. It felt so wrong to be in your room without you in it, to see you nowhere. How was this possible? You couldn’t be gone… you couldn’t leave him by himself in this cruel place. But no matter how many tears he cried, how many screams he let out, you didn’t return.

The days slowly passed, and his eyes became less red. It was as if the tears had been drained from his body. He tried not to move, not even to eat or drink anymore. The only thing keeping him from a state of complete apathy was the memories he held of you, and the guilt of not being there when you needed him the most. He would never forgive himself for not fulfilling his promise. He had failed you, and he couldn’t accept any other fact.

Geto would often visit your grave,it was the only way he could stay close to you. He would talk to you as if you were right beside him, as if he could still talk to you the way he used to. The cold wind would brush past him as he would sit in front of your tombstone, just staring at your name until it was etched into his memory. He made it a habit to visit you every week, as if you were still alive.

His eyes were a permanent shade of dull gray, his face constantly expressionless. The only emotion he felt was sadness and regret. The guilt never left him, he felt like a failure. Because he was one. You had trusted him to be there when you needed him, and in the end he couldn’t even do that. When you needed him most, he let you down. When you were vulnerable, he wasn’t there. His feelings were slowly being chipped away by the immense guilt, and he felt so alone.

He still remembered your face. The sweet and soft smile that was always on your lips. He remembered your gentle voice, and the way you had so calmly accepted your own death. Your eyes were a beautiful color. The way you had made him happy, and how he had taken your presence for granted… He couldn’t make the time to be there when you needed him, because of his foolish pride and he lost you. It was his fault.

His mind became more and more twisted by day. The guilt ate him up inside, as he would cry alone every night, wishing you were there to hold him. No one else could comfort him the way you could. You were the one who made all his worries go away. But now, all he had was this… this deep, agonizing emptiness. If he had been there when you were undergoing treatment, maybe you would still be there. You wouldn’t be gone.

"I'm sorry..I'm so so sorry-y-y y/n" Geto repeated over and over as he would hugged the pillow as it if were you.

He would hug your pillow tightly, as if you were there with him. He didn’t say anything, crying quietly into it, wishing, just for a moment, that your voice would fill the room. That the warmth of your embrace would be felt once again. That he would wake up from this nightmare. That this was all a mistake. That he should have been there when you were crying for help. That he should have done more…

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I'm planning to do a part 2 hopefully it will be less sad