Perseus - Tumblr Posts

Found the scene:

I can’t believe I forgot about this but in the Clash of the Titans remake they have a stereotypical Arab djinn character and he dies by exploding himself at Medusa, this movie started production in 2002, it shows.

"and that he only rescued her bc she's pretty"

Because Andromeda clearly had no reaction when she saw his cake:

I’m so glad that Perseus and Andromeda aren’t a popular couple, if such a simple and loving couple like Orpheus and Eurydice can get so misunderstood to such degree, I worry how they would write my faves.

For the sake of humor, I made this video. Hope that I captured the energy of the moment perfectly:

Coincidentally enough, I actually wrote a whole post about Asterion a while ago. Glad I'm not the only person who believes that he deserved better.

Medusa in Greek Mythology

Medusa in the Media:

Asterion in Greek Mythology:

Asterion in the Media:

They two receive opposite treatments.

Bitches be like "Oh Hades always has to deal with his stupid youngest brother Zeus who cannot keep it in his pants."

First of all, Ancient Greeks didn't wear pants.

Secondly, Hades and Zeus are actually decent with each other. Hades isn't ashamed of asking him for help whenever he considers that there's the case, whereas Zeus trusts his eldest brother enough to give one of his daughters as his wife. There's also this whole discourse claiming that Zeus got the best and Hades got the worst, but if you actually give a second thought to it the Underworld actually has some of the greatest peaks: besides the fact that you're extremely rich all the mortals eventually become your subjects. Even poets stated that in numerous works:

Ovid, Fasti 4. 443 (trans.Boyle) (Roman poetry C1st B.C. to C1st A.D.) :

"[Zeus speaks :] ‘My rank is no greater [than Haides]. I hold court in the sky; another rules the sea [Poseidon], and one the void [Haides].’"

Or:

Seneca, Hercules Furens 53 (trans. Miller) (Roman tragedy C1st A.D.) :

"Dis [Haides] himself, who drew a lot equal to Jove's [Zeus's]."

But if you're so desperate to give Hades a brotherly rivalry then I'm here to tell you that there's no need to erase all of Zeus' qualities (leadership skills, wisdom, long-term planning, determination, cunning etc.) and over exaggerate all of his bad actions in order to portray him as an incompetent asshole Hades always has to deal with. You could simply give Hades and Poseidon this type of dynamic instead.

Poseidon is way more impulsive, temperamental and testy than Zeus. He doesn't hesitate to show his wrath, let aside make others suffer because of it. On top of that, he's the god of the sea and earthquakes, and he's also almost as powerful as Zeus. His attributes and realm could easily represent a threat to the Underworld if he lets his anger go too far.

Take this passage from the Iliad as a relevant example:

Homer, Iliad 20. 67 ff :

"Poseidon from deep under them shuddered all the illimitable earth, the sheer heads of the mountains. And all the feet of Ida with her many waters were shaken and all her crests, and the city of Troy, the ships of the Akhaians (Achaeans). Aïdoneus [Haides], lord of the dead below, was in terror and sprang from his throne and screamed aloud, for fear that above him he who circles the land, Poseidon, might break the earth open and the houses of the dead lie open to men and immortals, ghastly and mouldering, so the very gods shudder before them; such was the crash that sounded as the gods came driving together in wrath."

Dude was freaking out in this scene. During the entire Greek Mythology he's presented as stoic and rarely frightened, but when his brother was causing a strong earthquake he was shitting himself and sucking his thumb like a baby (metaphorically). For the first and last time we see a god being vulnerable and scared by other gods in a similar way a mortal who is about to lose all of his property and belongings would be. Poseidon is pretty much capable of drowning the entire Underworld or exposing it to the Aboveworld if he wants to, so who's actually the more problematic brother? The one who can maintain his calm and control and understands better how distructive power can be, or the one whose anger was on the edge of breaking the border between the realms of the living and the dead?

What if people would stop completely changing the original personalities of the Greek Gods and create more headcanons and fanfictions based on what's actually stated (or at least what is suggested/more plausible) in the myths?

Reminds me of a conversation I had a long time ago with someone on this topic. For more context, I said that I do not personally consider Medusa a victim and showed to him a list with all the characters who were raped in Greek Mythology (some of them going through worse than her) who deserve to be made symbols of SA/Rape Survivors as well.

I’m kinda tired of Medusa fans defending how Ovid depicts her and saying it’s just as valid as Ancient Greek sources that say she was born a monster, it’s one thing to say that you like an idea or story beat from a Roman or even medieval source and even use it in your interpretation (I do that with Kronos and Hera), it’s another thing entirely to say it’s equally valid as Ancient Greek sources, when all these stories come from different cultures and time periods. I’d probably be more forgiving of this kind of thing if “Medusa was pretty then turned into a monster” was at least implied in ancient sources but it’s not.

I saw someone saying that instead of having Perseus and Medusa being either enemies or lovers (or both), it would be a cool idea if Medusa's head would somehow still be alive and talk, and they two would form some sort of a comedic duo, where Perseus tries to say something important and Medusa's head interrupts him all the time with ironic remarks, followed by laugh tracks.

While I'm not a big fan of the concept, it would be a funny idea that would manage to keep both of them sympathetic and likeable.

Shit, now I'm getting ideas...

Perseus: ...and then I'm going to turn that dirty old man into a stone statue at the wedding with your help.

Medusa: Why, so you can fuck with the bride?

Perseus: What the- Ew, no! She's my mother!

Medusa: Never say never.

Perseus: I'm coming...

Medusa: Yeah, that's what Oedipus said too.

*laugh track*

Perseus: I could be a great king.

Medusa: And I could be a great hand model.

*laugh track*

Perseus: Can you please stop singing? It's 3am already and you're giving me a headache.

Medusa: You left me with a headache since we've met for the first time.

Perseus: Look, I'm sorry but...

*Medusa starts singing again*

Perseus: Can you at least tell me why are you singing?

Medusa: A singer taught me once. Now I'm singing every time I remember him.

Perseus: Why, what happened to him?

Medusa: He's a rock star now.

Perseus: But that doesn’t sound so ba- Nevermind, I see what you mean now.

*laugh track*

Medusa: Why is that hot chick chained to a rock?

Perseus: She's going to be eaten by a sea rabbit predator, so I'm going to save her.

Medusa: So that you'll eat her first. Got it!

Perseus: ...

Perseus: What?

Medusa: Nevermind.

Perseus: Okay.

Medusa: That reminds me of the days when Poseidon used to chain me as well.

Perseus: Medusa, please...

Medusa: Sometimes he would turn into a horse...

Perseus: Medusa, we have to kill a monster now.

Medusa: ...and suddenly, his enormous fifth leg...

Perseus: MEDUSA!

Medusa: ...and that's how Pegasus was conceived.

Perseus: ...

Perseus: I regret beheading you sometimes.

*laugh track*

Medusa: You know what?

Perseus: What?

Medusa: We two should form a rock band.

Perseus: Please, no...

Medusa: We need a name. How about Talking Heads?

Perseus: Already taken.

Medusa: The Rolling Stones?

Perseus: Also taken.

Medusa: Medussy and Persassy.

Perseus: ...

Medusa: So you agree with me. Yay!

I saw someone saying that instead of having Perseus and Medusa being either enemies or lovers (or both), it would be a cool idea if Medusa's head would somehow still be alive and talk, and they two would form some sort of a comedic duo, where Perseus tries to say something important and Medusa's head interrupts him all the time with ironic remarks, followed by laugh tracks.

While I'm not a big fan of the concept, it would be a funny idea that would manage to keep both of them sympathetic and likeable.

The more I think about Perseus and Andromeda having nine children together, the more I'm starting to imagine their sex life resembling Queen Victoria and Prince Albert's and this is not okay.

For more context:

Perhaps one of the spiciest chapters from history (which sadly isn't taught in school) is the relationship between Victoria and her husband Albert. Here are a few informations about it:

Victoria held a secret diary in which she wrote about Albert and her *ahem* fantasies with him. Here is one passage from it:

"My dear Albert came in today from the rain; he looked so handsome in his white cashmere britches, with nothing on underneath."

I think we all know what happened moments later.

She once sent to him this spicy painting of her (see the picture).

Back then disheveled hair and visible shoulders were considered alluring and sensual.

She also bought him a quite erotic painting from artist Franz Xaver Winterhalter's which depicts a group of bare-breasted women preparing to bathe.

The couple is said to have installed a special button in their bedroom at their huge holiday house on the Isle of Wight. The idea was they could lock the doors from bed so they would never be disturbed in flagrante delicto by a footman bearing a tea tray.

Victoria hated being pregnant and having kids, but LOVED sex. That's why she ended up having nine children. Unsurprisingly, Albert was the one who took care of them.

There are persistent rumours that Albert was so well endowed that he had to wear a special ring around his "little Prince" so it could be pulled to the side and thus not bulge in an unseemly manner in his trousers. This may be where the "Prince Albert" comes from.

After giving birth to her last child, Victoria's doctor told her: "You know, ma'am, you shouldn't have any more children.", to which she replied with: "What, Doctor, no more fun in bed?"

Unfortunately, Albert died in 1861, 32 years before she passed away. RIP Sex Button.

The more I think about Perseus and Andromeda having nine children together, the more I'm starting to imagine their sex life resembling Queen Victoria and Prince Albert's and this is not okay.

Imagine them taking care of baby Andromeda. XD

Listen… Persomeda Sleeping Beauty au

The ultimate card: Perseus and Andromeda didn't love each other and got married for you guys to ship them with their enemies.

Andromeda didn’t bear Perseus 9 children for y’all to ship her man with Medusa.

Perseus was both Heracles' half-sibling and great-grandfather, so imagine 90yo Perseus, probably senile and blind as well (assuming that he was still alive back then), finding out from Andromeda (assuming that she was still alive too) that their granddaughter's newborn just killed two snakes at hours old as if it was nothing. He would be like: "Wow, already a strong boy! He takes after me." then he would give a second thought to it and be like: "Oh..."

Perseus' daughter: Daddy, why is my brother named Electryon?

Perseus: It's because it means amber, and your mother loves them.

Perseus' daughter: Thanks, daddy!

Perseus: You're welcome, Gorgonphone!

On a serious note though, this guy somehow managed to simultaneously give the most creative and unoriginal names to some of his children.

Perses is just another form of Perseus.

Sthenelus is the male version of Stheno (Medusa's sister).

Gorgonphone means Gorgon's Slayer.

Autochte means giver of gifts (which seems to be an innocent one, but then you remember that Medusa's head was supposed to be a wedding gift for Polydectes).

Mestor means traveler (which again, could be linked in his journey).

Are we sure that this guy didn't just base most of his children's names solely on the myth that made him famous?

Perseus' daughter: Daddy, why is my brother named Electryon?

Perseus: It's because it means amber, and your mother loves them.

Perseus' daughter: Thanks, daddy!

Perseus: You're welcome, Gorgonphone!

Honestly I don't like it when, out of all heroes who did morally questionable/ambiguous actions, people choose to demonize Perseus, but if you're so willing to portray him as the piece of shit someone else is then at least be more creative. How am I going to take your villainized version of him seriously if he doesn't own an entire statue gallery in his palace? Or if he doesn't eat sushi with a fork? C'mon, guys!

I mean... it's not a bad idea. The only problem is how you develop/put it into practice.

Had an epiphany while writing this thing. Now I wish I could be this creative all the time.

I saw someone saying that instead of having Perseus and Medusa being either enemies or lovers (or both), it would be a cool idea if Medusa's head would somehow still be alive and talk, and they two would form some sort of a comedic duo, where Perseus tries to say something important and Medusa's head interrupts him all the time with ironic remarks, followed by laugh tracks.

While I'm not a big fan of the concept, it would be a funny idea that would manage to keep both of them sympathetic and likeable.

Okay, but it's ironic to see how Perseus (one of the guys who never cheated on his wife and could actually keep a stable relationship) happens to be the great-grandfather of Heracles (four wives, lots of affairs and at least one rape from what I've managed to find about him). Perseus wasn't present during his childhood and it shows.

The ass in question:

Andromeda and one of her handmaidens checking out Perseus: