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๐ป๐ถ๐ฒ๐๐ถ ๐น๐ฌ๐ฝ๐ฌ๐ต๐ฎ๐ฌ๐น๐บ ๐จ๐น๐ช๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ฝ๐ฌ๐บ :


each characterโs imagines are categorised in chronological order starting from their oldest to newest works. will update continuously when there are new imagines being released in the library!
last update: 21st May 2023
๐๐๐๐๐๐ :
fluff: โ๏ธ | angst: ๐ฅ | suggestive/smut: ๐ซ | headcanons: โฃ๏ธ

โฅ ARASHI KEIZO "BENKEI"
๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐: โ๏ธ
โ tasked with a dare to compliment someone that they have pretty eyes, you decide to go up to keizoโa complete stranger to you. how will he react?
โฅ BAJI KEISUKE
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐: ๐ฅ
โ you and baji were best friends, but unexpectedly, he decided to cut off ties with you. will you win him back or will he be somebody you used to know?
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ & ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐: โ๏ธ + โฃ๏ธ
โ how the tokrev boys react to you on your period and deal with your mood swings.
โฅ HAITANI RAN
๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐ ๐๐: ๐ซ
โ youโre all alone at home while ran is held back at work in a Bonten meeting. during his break, you decided to send a teasing picture of yourself which caused him to be needy.
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐: โ๏ธ + ๐ซ
โ on his birthday morning, ran reflects on his future and realises how much he definitely wants you to be a part of it.
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ & ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐: โ๏ธ + ๐ซ
โ realising that you've been neglecting your ran lately, it was much-needed cuddles & attention time between you and him.
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ โก: โ๏ธ + โฃ๏ธ
โ this is how the tokrev boys confess to you!
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ !: โ๏ธ + ๐ซ
โ bonten dad!ran gets woken up by his five-year-old daughter who wants him to braid her hair prettily for school as he had promised.
โฅ HAITANI RINDOU
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐: โ๏ธ
โ in which, you discover the cute side of rindou as you guys do the tiktok couple trend together.
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ โก: โ๏ธ + โฃ๏ธ
โ this is how the tokrev boys confess to you!
โฅ HANMA SHUJI
๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐: โ๏ธ
โ an unlikely friendship formed between you and your neighbourhood delinquent, hanma shuji.
โฅ INUI SEISHU
๐:๐๐ ๐๐: โ๏ธ
โ it was the middle of the night, and you and inui decided to dance in the rain as the radio plays both your favourite song.
๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐: โ๏ธ + ๐ซ
โ home is a safe place, where you feel belonged. and with inui, he feels like home to you despite knowing how dangerous it is to be with him.
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ โก: โ๏ธ + โฃ๏ธ
โ this is how the tokrev boys confess to you!
โฅ KAKUCHO HITTO
๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐: ๐ซ
โ in kakucho's eyes, you were a work of art to him that he feels the need to let everyone else know that you only belonged to him.
โฅ KAWATA SOUYA
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐: ๐ซ + ๐ฅ
โ overcome by your insecurities, souya was determined he displayed all his love and affection for you to make sure you knew youโre his pretty girl.
โฅ KAZUTORA HANEMIYA
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ & ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐: โ๏ธ + โฃ๏ธ
โ how the tokrev boys react to you on your period and deal with your mood swings.
โฅ KOKONOI HAJIME
๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐: โ๏ธ + ๐ซ
โ dating one of Bonten's executives, Koko, what happens when you're invited for a dinner to meet the rest of them? will their dangerous world lure you in or scare you away?
โ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐โ: โ๏ธ + โฃ๏ธ
โ how they react when you hold their hand & tell them their hands are warm.
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ โก: โ๏ธ + โฃ๏ธ
โ this is how the tokrev boys confess to you!
โฅ MATSUNO CHIFUYU
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐: โ๏ธ + ๐ฅ
โ when chifuyuโs life suddenly takes a turn as he finds himself living like a shoujo manga with his crush as his female lead.
โ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐โ: โ๏ธ + โฃ๏ธ
โ how they react when you hold their hand & tell them their hands are warm.
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ & ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐: โ๏ธ + โฃ๏ธ
โ how the tokrev boys react to you on your period and deal with your mood swings.
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐!: โ๏ธ
โ it was an instant crush the moment chifuyu's sight fell on you. trying to hide his feelings, it was way too obvious as baji encourages chifuyu to ask you out!
โฅ MITSUYA TAKASHI
๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐: โ๏ธ
โ as mitsuya takes you back home after a day at his place, the two of you share your first kiss together.
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ & ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐: โ๏ธ + โฃ๏ธ
โ how the tokrev boys react to you on your period and deal with your mood swings.
โฅ RYUGUJI KEN
โ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐โ: โ๏ธ + โฃ๏ธ
โ how they react when you hold their hand & tell them their hands are warm.
โฅ SANO MANJIRO โMIKEYโ
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐: โ๏ธ
โ you began to get jealous over mikey not spending enough quality time with you lately as he gets caught up settling with gang matters. will the two of you talk it out?
๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐: ๐ฅ + ๐ซ
โ upon discovering that your blind date had unexpectedly turned out to be your childhood friend, mikey, things take a turn for the night as you finally learn of his secret obsession with you. [contains dark themes]
๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐: ๐ฅ
โ with a promise to protect you no matter what, mikey is determined to see through that as he tries to rescue you from being taken hostage by a gang.ย
๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐: โ๏ธ
โ in which, misunderstandings and jealousy occur when mikey chances upon seeing you and draken give each other a hug.
โ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐โ: โ๏ธ + โฃ๏ธ
โ how they react to when you hold their hand & tell them their hands are warm.
๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐: โ๏ธ
โ choosing to keep your relationship with Mikey a secret from your friends, you realise it was time to finally announce it after a game of truth or dare.
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ & ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐: โ๏ธ + โฃ๏ธ
โ how the tokrev boys react to you on your period and deal with your mood swings.
โฅ SANZU HARUCHIYO
โ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐โ: โ๏ธ + โฃ๏ธ
โ how they react to when you hold their hand & tell them their hands are warm.
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ โก: โ๏ธ + โฃ๏ธ
โ this is how the tokrev boys confess to you!
โฅ YAMAGISHI KAZUSHI
๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐: ๐ซ
โ what better way to celebrate your anniversary with your boyfriend, yamagishi, than making love all night?
OP Men Failing No Nut November Headcanons(NSFW)
Black Fem Reader in Mind
Bad Summary: Who last NNN and who doesnโt
Ft. Shanks, Sanji, Zoro
CW: Mentions of Sex, Pussy slapping, Oral, Teasing, Zoro is a complete ass, I may do a part 2
Sanji

He lost before he started
In all honesty heโd probably lastโฆa few days, but thatโs because he started touching himself again
You mentioned that you wanted to focus more on your training so you wanted to save your energy for the next month and not have sex
First off he started crying
But you said this because you all were getting into way more close calls than usual with fighting enemies and you wanted to prepare for the worse in case Sanji wasnโt there to save you
He did respect your wishes and so for the next 4 weeks there would be no extreme sexual contact between you both. Sanji even went as far as not jack off to practice self restraint.
After the first week it was painful for him but he managed to distract himself with practicing more recipes and training with you
Second week was a breeze, you both were able to sleep on separate sides of the bed without any issues
Now the third weekโฆwas a bit difficult for you both.
You noticed how much stronger Sanji got without having the distraction of sex and it got to you.
A lot.
You didnโt want to go back on your word so you had to do and you went into your shared room with him and you found yourself playing with your clit.
Unfortunately Sanji found you as well.
Heโd be a liar if he said he was mentally cheering that you failed instead of how quick you were to cover yourself
โY/Nโฆ. You been cheatinggg??โ
โN-No! Iโthis is my first time I swear!โ
He couldnโt even stay mad at you, your legs was spread, cunt was dripping, and he has been fucking his fist for way too long as you slept so you decided to โapologize โ by asking him to join you.
Sanji hovered over your pussy almost immediately
โI wish you would have just told me to at least eat this pussy, sweetheart I miss itโฆโ
โButโ-ahโ-you wereโฆ.mmmm doing so good!โ
Without missing a beat he reminded you how much you missed his tounge and fingers. Sanji usually ignored his own hard cock for your pleasure but he couldnโt handle the strain anymore
You of course notice this and decide to do a move you never done: sitting on his face while sucking him off
Sanji never came so hard and quickly in his life
That donโt mean he was done though no no no. Sanji has so much stamina to make up for how fast he cums so best believe you both were busy that evening.
you both ended up failing NNN together <3
Shanks

Lmao @ you thinking he is even going to participate.
โNo sex?? For a MONTH? The hell did I doโโ
โNothing! I just wanted to challenge us.โ
He smirked like ^ and โagreedโ
Shanks has been eyeing you the entire day, like a literal Shark watching it prey. For some reason the pure fact that you said โno sexโ made him want you even more
You looked even better, your clothes looked sexier, your body looked more curvier and teasing
Shanks wanted you so badly.
He was a good boy and kept his distance though, not even touching you a little when beside you
The day went by completely smoothly until it was time to take a bath.
You were by yourself just about to dip your foot in the tub when you felt his heavy gaze behind you.
โHeyโ!โ
He insisted to bathe you, he claimed to have โno motiveโ behind it so he got behind you on the edge of the tub and scrubbed your body
He was such a sly dog grazing his hands through the thin towel over your nipples and just way too close to a certain place when he reached your inner thighs.
โShanksโฆโ
You moaned out his name, it shocked you both for a second but Shanks being the crafty guy he is he keeps teasing you and teasing you, and you know this but he swears up and down he doesnโt know what youโre talking about
Itโs not until he eventually gets in the bath with you slowly scissoring inside you when you finally break and give him what you both wanted.
โYou want it bad donโt youโฆโ
Almost like he was amused by your greediness, you head on his shoulder, dark chuckle erupted from his chest turning you on more
โY-yes please! More!โ
โBut y/n Itโs only been a day? My big girl isnโt giving up already??โ
His two fingers teased your clit in the water driving you mad, it was big soft circles that always made you spasm around nothing. Shanks knew your body like the back of his hand so getting you to give up was pretty easy
โโM sorry Shanks Justโฆpleaseeeโฆplease fuck meโฆโ
โYou give up?โ
โโฆโฆโ
He huffs and slaps your cunt making you pathetically bite your lip, โโฆ.yes.โ
โGood Girl.โ
It didnโt take long until he turned you around aggressively shoving his tongue down your mouth
He reassures you why the challenge was a stupid idea from the jump.
Zoro

โYouโre such a needy little bitch sometimes you know that?โ
You both had an argument right after having sex about whoโs the most horniest so thatโs how you both got here bickering butt naked in the bed.
โOh because you constantly touching my thighs and ass every single day means youโre a saintโโ
You and Zoro always have these arguments on who can last longer without sex so you finally wanted to put an end to this.
โFine, put ya money where ya mouth is 1 weekโโ
โWhat?โ
โOne week. No pussy, no finger, no oral, not even kissing on the lips and whoever loses does whatever the other person says.โ
Of course Zoro being Zoro he couldnโt back down to a challenge, but he had some conditions too.
He just never told you about them
The day goes by incredibly well, you and Zoro treated the rest of the evening normally
Which was good because it was all in Zoroโs plan
The days went by and he began to get more touchy, lingering hand holding, purposely moving against your bottom when he walks past you, he even started walked around the ship more shirtless than usual asking if you can watch him work out knowing how much that gets to you
You werenโt dumb though, you caught on pretty quick to his scheme and so you decided to play dirty too. You only wore probably some of the shortest and tightest clothing you could find, youโd constantly bend over in front of Zoro always hearing a small curse under his breath, sometimes you even whisper in his ear about the dirtest things knowing it gives a chill down his spine.
โIt kills you seeing me wearing this, huh? You wanna fuck me that badly donโt you?โ Zoro pokes his cheek out and chuckles looking forward ignoring you, you really are a piece of work
The teasing just increased to the point where you both were getting disgusted faces at the crew because you and Zoro THOUGHT you were being subtle in being all touchy feely, but everybody knew from the lewd comments/jokes and constant touching what you both were doing
โCan you both just get a room already!โ Nami yelled out of annoyance seeing Zoro practically pin you against the wall. You felt embarrassed as hell not realizing you both were in the middle of the deck doing this, but Zoro didnโt care
Eventually that night Zoro decided to take it further in his teasing because he was tired of your bullshit
โWhat are you Doing?โ
Zoro came into your room with nothing but pussy on his mind. He wasnโt really the type to have a high sex drive, but the simple fact that you decided to NOT have sex with him gave him every reason to want it, but heโd never admit that.
He wanted to break you and make you admit you want it.
He got on the bed shirtless and kissed up your legs and massaged them in between, he never answered you just kept doing what he was doing, if you were being honest you missed his kisses, you nearly fell into his Trap immediately but then your eyes widened
โHey I said no kissing!โโ
โYou said on the lipsโฆ.these are your legsโฆand these are your thighsโฆ.and this is your tummyโฆ.and theseโฆ.are your breast.โ
You were wearing one of his thin shirts, you felt your nipples get hard, Zoro of course notices and plants wet kisses through the fabric teasing around your sensitive nipples but you grumbled you couldnโt lose
You push him off and climb on top of him immediately attack his weak point: his neck
โF-fuck! Playingโdirty huh?โ
To this day you both swear up and down either of you folded first. You believe Zoro did when his fingers glided against your slit and he says you folded when your hand palmed his cock
Either way that morning you both slept in and couldnโt remember a thing except the amount of times you both came in, on, and around each other.
huy ito naaaaa shetttttttt ackkkkkkk loveeeee thissssss!!! ๐ซ๐ซถ
Young Love ; Final Part
โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ
๐๐๐ง ๐๐ง๐ ๐/๐ ๐ฐ๐๐ซ๐ ๐ข๐ง ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฏ๐. ๐๐๐๐ง๐๐ ๐๐ซ๐ฌ, ๐ค๐ข๐๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐ก๐จ ๐ฆ๐๐๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ ๐๐ก๐จ๐ข๐๐๐ฌ ๐๐ง๐ ๐๐๐๐ข๐ฌ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ--๐๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ง๐๐ฏ๐๐ซ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ฅ๐๐ฌ๐ฌ, ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ฒ ๐ฐ๐๐ซ๐ ๐ข๐ง ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฏ๐. ๐๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ก๐๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ฌ๐ ๐ค๐ข๐๐ฌ ๐๐ซ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐๐ง ๐๐๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ญ ๐ฌ๐ข๐ญ๐ฎ๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง, ๐๐จ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ฒ ๐ก๐๐ง๐๐ฅ๐ ๐ข๐ญ? ๐๐ก๐ ๐ซ๐จ๐๐ ๐จ๐ ๐๐๐๐จ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ ๐ฉ๐๐ซ๐๐ง๐ญ ๐ข๐ฌ๐ง'๐ญ ๐๐ฎ๐ญ ๐๐จ๐ซ ๐๐ฏ๐๐ซ๐ฒ๐จ๐ง๐, ๐๐ง๐ ๐๐๐ง ๐๐๐ข๐ญ๐๐ง๐ข ๐ฉ๐ซ๐จ๐ฏ๐๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ญ. ๐๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐/๐'๐ฌ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐จ๐ซ๐ฒ ๐จ๐ ๐๐๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ ๐ญ๐๐๐ง ๐ฆ๐จ๐ฆ.
( Ran x Y/N x Chifuyuโ ethnic reader if you squint)
โ ๏ธMentions of: Teen pregnancy, cursing, abortion,
Previous Part; Part 4
โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ
Recap~
Your rash footsteps practically forced Ran to back up from the door with haste. Your presence being forced in front of him as he realized he was not coming into your home space.
It was quiet, your eyes darting around the empty hall before falling on the taller male.
" Haitani."
โโโโโโ-
Your stare was blank.
Your eyes staring into the the man that once held your whole heart in his palms. The man that you once shared your being with, and spoke words that you never uttered again to. It was like your past flashed before your eyes, and unlike manyโit did not bring you happiness and peace to see the young man with pigtail braids and a cheeky grin from all those years ago. Instead, you felt your eyes relax into a more grim and dark expression. This was not a pleasing sight to you, yet you pressed your tongue behind your teeth and swore not to say another word.
His own gaze was searing into you.
While your eyes remained fixed to his own, his eyes were traveling all around you.
Taking in your appearance, and letting his eyes wander especially at your stomach and exposed legs.
Your lower halfโ a part that drastically changes for a lot of woman after giving birth.
It was like a slap in the face as you let your eyes twitch in annoyance. You would've enjoyed your fresh motherhood body if not for the hardships and torture that came with being a single, and teen mom all by yourself.
So while you were looking at his eyes, Ran Haitani was looking at your figure.
Finally, his eyes came back up. Dragging them up to your face as a grin slowly drew onto his own.
In a second, Ran's gaze became more intense than your hate filled stare could ever be.
" You look magnificent love."
Ran Haitani looked like he was worth millions of dollars.
" Don't call me that."
Your response was quick, and the look in his eyes intensified shortly after.
" Don't tell me you're mad at me?" Ran asked you as he tilted his head to the side.
" I am."
" It was 9 years agoโ"
" What do you want?"
Ran stared down at Y/N with sharp eyes. The grin on his face slowly faded away when he took in her firm frown and almost dead eyes. Her words were sharp and harsh, and her face showed no interest in his presence. It was like she had other things to be doingโthings this were more important than seeing Ran after all these years.
Ran hated the feeling, and it was expected since he has always been the master at capturing attention.
And he was once a master at capturing and holding your attention.
Ran shook his head, his lips staying still as the sly grin showed in his eyes. " Did you get my envelope?"
You stared at Ran, and for a second you contemplated telling him another answer.
" I did."
Ran raised a brow at you. " You've always had manners. No thank you or anything? Noโ' thank you Ran for setting me straight for the next few years!'" He mocked with an attempt to sound like you.
Finally, the look of disgust took over your face. Embodying every thought you had on your mind about Ran Haitani.
" You want me to thank you?" You asked in shock. " You want me to thank you for showing up after almost 9 years?! What the hell do you think this is?!"
Ran's expression changed immediately. " Stop yelling." He sneered at you. " And don't think for a second that I came here for youโ"
" Yeah I know," you cut him off with a laugh.
" You came here for Haruki, which you won't be setting an eye on."
Ran's face morphed to one of pure anger, and you found absolute pleasure in his expressionโwhether it was temporary or not.
You had opened the door for Ran for no specific reason. There was no thought in your mind to invite him, be nice to him, or let him see his sonโlet alone set an eye on him. Yet, you also didn't open the door for him with the intent to let the whole floor hear your baby daddy business, or for Chifuyu to hear you from all the way inside.
You didn't plan your approach to Ran Haitani, but with the words Ran had said to youโyou wanted to believe that he didn't plan his approach either.
You didn't even realize that Ran had raised his voice, and was now talking to you at a tone that rivaled your own.
At the thought of Chifuyu, your mind wandered back to the two boys inside your complex.
" Stop fucking yelling." You sneered at Ran.
Ran gritted his teeth when he realized you weren't even concerned about anything he just said. " Why? So the fuck boy inside doesn't hear us?!"
Your eyes widened, and you could see the hint of amusement in Ran's orbs as you stared at him.
" What? You didn't think I would hear that right?!" He said as he laughed insanely at your expression. " You have a whole other dude around my son!?"
Your body was hot, and getting hotter by the second when Ran spat out words that were equivalent to utter rubbish. As you stared at him, your eyes began to soften as your mind wandered. Wandering back to the times you spent crying as a 17 year old girl. Exposed to the harsh realities of " love" after being blinded by it for two years.
You, a once dumb 17 year old girlโwho had boldly declared to keep her baby despite her age, often found herself holding a hanger. Standing in a tub with a hand clamped over her mouth. Her thoughts racing around as tears streamed down her cheeks like an endless river.
You who lost everything over stupid decisions you had made in the two painful years of your life. Years that left your teenage era ruined and in shambles before you could even realize it was breaking.
" You left me."
Your words were as clear as day. Straightforward and firm as you blinked back the small tears that had managed to make way to your eyes.
" You left me with your kid Ran." You continued with a tremble in your voice. " You have no right to track me down or show up."
Ran's lips were parted, as if he wanted to say something but couldn't find the words.
He just had his eyes on you. Wide, blinking, and filled with emotion.
" Y/ N that was 9 years ago. I was a kidโ"
" I was a kid too!" You interfered before Ran could finish his words. " I was a kid, literally, but I still gave birth to Haruki at 18! 18 fucking years old Ran! I could've got an abortion, killed myself, or used that fucking hanger that I promise I picked up more than once! But you know what! I didn't do any of that, and I was still a kid! And now you want to show up to me with 2 million dollars as your fucking pocket money?!"
At this point the sadness and hatred was shown openly in your eyes. Tears spilling and all vulnerable in front of your ex boyfriend. Someone you once considered to be the most important person to you.
Young love. It's so bitter and often ends horribly.
The usual stories of the amazing " bad boy" falling for the " good girl". The popular wanting the lame that sparks up conversations everywhere. Young love was an innocent type of love. The love where you're still figuring out yourself, and maneuvering around your feelings. After years of only telling family that you love them, you finally want to see what it means to love someone else that's not family. See what it means to blush, have your heart pound super fast, and get nervous in the presence of a person you're infatuated with. It was a new type of love that always took away a morale from someone, and whether they got that morale back at some point in their life is unknown.
Young love was an experience between kids. Between people who had the mind of a kid. Who were placed in situations that they stood stranded and confused in, after all, love isn't an easy emotion to explain.
So when you and Ran, both kids, fell " in love", it was time to question your real emotions.
You know you were infatuated with him. You loved the thrill he brought you, the attention you got, and the looks he gave you. You lived for it, and even though you were at war with yourself at 17โyou still found peace, and that was through Ran.
He gave you belonging in a world that you never thought you would be in. Belong in.
And at the time you thought you were doing everything right. You're grades didn't drop like most smart girls did when they got boyfriends. So you labeled yourself as successful.
That was one of the many delusions you had made in your mind during your first love.
" What do you want me to do?"
Ran's voice was quiet. So quiet you didn't quite catch what he said.
But he stood there, watching you cry with his grin long off his face, and his posture almost defeated.
You blinked, your hand immediately coming to aid your wet cheeks. " I want you to leave."
The words were bitter on your tongue. They came straight from your heart and not your brain. You didn't think of your response to his question, and the true question behind Ran's question.
Should I come into Haruki's life or should I go?
And you had told him to go.
The look on his face was pleasing to your now bitter heart.
" What are you going to tell him?"
You were surprised that he was still calm.
You shrugged your shoulders. Setting your arms at your slide and blankness filled your eyes.
" We can't even..." Ran's eyes wandered, as if he was contemplating to say his next words.
" We can't even co parent?"
" Why do you want to see him all of a sudden?" You were harsh with your tone, and with the way your face twisted in. " No one needs your presence around anymore. I've done enough charity work."
" I've"โ you were speaking from the heart of a broken 17 year old girl.
You could see Ran's face twist, as if he was about to make a comment about your wording.
" Me and Haruki are perfect without you." You quickly added to cover your self centered words.ย
Ran stared at you. Eye contact so firm yet weak. It didn't make you nervous like it used to, or make your cheeks burn and your ears tingle.
" So..."
You continue to stare as he gulped. Blinking intensely for whatever reason as his eyes traveled the empty halls. You watched as he settled his gaze on your complex door.
" So I can't even meet him? Say Goodnight?"
You stuttered mentally.
How can you say no?
You stared at Ran, and you could see it in his eyes that he was pleading. That he really wanted to say "Goodnight", to see his child, even after 8 years of absence.
" Just say Goodnight and leave right after. I won't bother your little boy toyโ"
" Okay."
" Wait really?" Ran's eyes were wide. Clearly not expecting that response from you.
It usually takes Haruki ten minutes to fall asleep after being put to bed. You were sure he was still slightly awake.
You inhaled a deep breath, turning your body away from him. " Yeah."
โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ
" This way."
You made no effort to call out to Chifuyu personally when you and Ran walked through the house. The footsteps of two different people loud and clear. But you were sure that he was aware it was you and a companion buy the sound of your voice. That way, he didn't need to worry if it was intruders of any sort.
" Nice place."
You didn't respond to Ran directly, only nodding your head as you continued to move to Haruki's bedroom.
You came to a stop at his closed door.
" He should be asleep." You started as you looked to Ran. " But knowing him, he's probably fake sleeping until he falls asleep."
Ran nodded, eyes fixed on the closed white door. " So do I go in?...."
You shrugged your shoulders and tilted your head in a manner that gave mixed answers. Both " whatever you want", and "yes".
Ran inhaled a deep breath, and you could hear the shake in it. As much as you tried not to care, you could see the way his hands fumbled around for an imperfection on his clothing. Wanting to occupy himself by cleaning up his appearance, which was a sign of nervousness for Ran.
But how could you laugh at him?
It's been practically 9 years and he was finally about to see his son, and not in a manner that was joyous.
" Whenever you're ready." You mumbled to Ran.
You could see the appreciation on Ran's face from your words, but the moment you said it you instantly regretted it.
You didn't have his encouragement for the last 9 years. So as you leaned back, it was words to yourself to not engage anymore.
You watched as Ran stared at Haruki. You would've thought that your boy was sleepingย with the quiet inhales and exhales that showed expert signs of sleep. He could be faking, but Haruki's fake sleeping isn't good. Not as good as this.
Chifuyu must've tucked him in real good. You thought to yourself as a look of content settled into your eyes.
Ran was silent. The only thing being heard in the room was Haruki's humidifier that was sitting beside him.
You narrowed your eyes at Ran's head. As far as you were concerned, you didn't bing him here to watch Haruki sleep. It's either he gets involved, or goes away.
You don't need him to watch from afar.
It's better if Haruki continues to not know him, than Ran making himself known; and then ghosting.
" Well it looks like he's actually sleeping." You started in a hushed voice. " If you're not gonna say anything than let'sโ"
" Hey kid."
You stopped talking immediately.
" I know you're sleeping right now..." You watched as he observed Haruki for a short moment, all while gathering up the words he wanted to say. " I'm your biological father...your dad....in some way."
Part of you felt absolutely cold to Ran's words, having heard similar things yourself. Then another part of you kept your eyes pinned on Haruki; thinking about how happy he would've been to hear those words.
You shifted your weight onto your other leg, your brows furrowing as you studied Haruki's breathing.
He definitely wasn't hearing all of this.
" I'm sorry." Ran added, shuffling a little to stare closer at his son. " To you and your mom."
Ignore.
And you did. You pretended not to see the look Ran gave you.
" You done?" You suddenly spoke. Startling yourself with how harsh your tone was.
Ran looked at you. A look of utter shock on his face, like he was in disbelief to what you were saying. But another part of his expressionย seemed to be begging you for more time.
" He's literally asleep Y/N."
You didn't even argue with Ran, for you don't know why you spoke to begin with.
All you did was give a court nod, taking a step back; as if you were removing yourself from the room, yet you remained inside and present.
" Right."ย
You refused to listen to whatever Ran told Haruki for the next three minutes,
โnot wanting to intervene on the 5 minutes he's getting with him.
โNot wanting to say anything that will make it seem as if you miss him, or yearned for him for years, or want him back.
So you kept quiet, not saying a word.
โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ
Ran was crushedโ
And his pride couldn't even deny it. Nothing about what just happened went how he planned. How he thought it would go. He thought he would have the upper hand, that he would keep his grin on the whole time because it was going how he wanted.ย He thought that you would be compliant, and now that he looks back at it; he wants to slap himself because you were never overly submissive. He's adapted to his lifestyle as a Bonten Admin, having more power than he could ever imagine. Having everyone wanting him, and always getting what he desires.ย
Truth hit. You didn't want him like every woman does, and Ran didn't get what he wanted.
He sighed frustratedly, feeling his stomach curl up as a bile rose in his throat. This was a horrible thing that he rarely felt.
He wanted to cry.
Ran wanted to just stay in his car and fucking think about all the shit he's done wrong. He already knows what he did was wrong, and he didn't finally except it until his younger brother physically beat it into him. Even so, after Rindou's beating, he still didn't go into the matter with a grown mentality.
His brother could barely even look at him, his ex truly didn't give a shit about him anymore. It's fair to say that you hated him at this point.
" Fucking hell.." he cursed as he ran a hand down his face.
A part of Ran didn't even want to ask for co parenting, because he truly didn't deserve it.
He willingly walked away from the lifestyle of being a parent, and didn't make the effort to go back when he became finically stable.
He took away the opportunity of Rindou being an Uncle the day he walked out on you. He took away your freedom to live out your big 18 freely, wildly, and to be a young and free adult.
Ran wanted to ignore the ringing of his phone badly.
He did not want to answer whoever was calling him. Especially when he was sure his voice would shake because of his current emotional state.
With a deep breath that held all his irritations, he dug his hands into his pockets to pick out his phone. He couldn't afford to ignore a phone call, especially with his occupation. It could be Mikey, his brotherโas much as he is angry at him, or just important Bonten duties in general.
The moment Ran saw his boss's name on his ringing phone, he answered the call immediately.
" Hey Boss."
It was silent on the other line, and for a momentโRan thought Mikey would have a negative reaction to him not answering on time. Even though Ran did answer, he left the boss ringing for too long.
" Boss?โ"
" That took an awfully long time."
Ran inhaled a deep breath quietly, letting his head tilt over to the side. " Yeah I was just um...I wasโ"
" You're not at a house or apartment right now." Mikey didn't sound upset. " Stop by my office."
Ran blinked, his lips parting to ask why but the phone cut before he could.
Ran could only stare at the contact list projected before him. His eyes on his most recent phone call, and his thumb itching to call back his boss. Why was Mikey even paying attention to his location? Most importantly, how long has he been watching over him?
It would be bad, totally horrible if Mikey perhaps thinks that he needs to be aware of Y/N's location or business. It would be the biggest mistake Ran would make in his life if Mikey ordered something to happen to Haruki and Y/N. He would truly never forgive himself.
The thought alone made Ran uncomfortable.
Nevertheless, Ran pushed his feeling to the side and made his way to the headquarters as he was ordered to do. Specially to meet Mikey in his office. The drive there was silent, Ran's hand occasionally twitching when he let his inner thoughts and concerns flood his mind. The sight of his sleeping son plagued his mind the whole way to the headquarters. It was in that moment that Ran stood in the same room as his ex girlfriend/ baby mama, that he actually began to rethink and regret choices he's made in his life.
Rindou was right about everything he said, and meeting his child one-sided after 9 years didn't help defend Ran. It only made him feel more shitty.
" You took long enough." Mikey's dead voice said as Ran closed the door behind him.
Ran didn't even bother giving Mikey an excuse or sneaky grin. All he did was bow 90 degrees and mumble a ' sorry' as a response.
" Did everything go to shit?"
Mikey's question boiled undeniable anger in Ran that he knew was best to conceal.
" It was...it went a little off trackโ I suppose I can say."
Mikey tilted his head at Ran, clearly not believing a word he had said. " A little? I thought you were confident it would work in your favour?"
Ran was no fool. He could now clearly hear the teasing in his Boss's words. " I have no say."
" How long have you known?"
Ran's eyebrows furrowed immediately, and he couldn't help the stare he fixed onto his boss.
" I told you up till today Boss."
Mikey tilted his head, walking to the window do his office. His back turned away from his underling as he gazed at the dark view.
Mikey was certain that Ran was lying, and judging by his brothers behaviour, he can say he was correct.
Mikey guessed that Ran has known about his kid for a while in some way. His behaviour and wording over the last few years never poked Mikey weirdly. Haitani looked like the type to have baby momma'sโplenty, in fact. But the meaningless jokes he made over the years slid past everyone easily. But now that he looks back at it, Mikey doubts Haitani is just finding out.
" I know what you've told me." Mikey started.
" And I know it's a lie. You've always known you had a kidโin some way."
Ran kept quiet, opting not to give a response that might end up coming out snarky to his boss.
After a long day, and horrible last few days due to the aftermath of his fight with his brotherโRan wasn't in the mood to be interrogated about his failed life as a father. As a man who left his girlfriend to defend for herself during pregnancy.
No excuse can hide the truth of what he did.
" I'm right. Aren't I?"
Ran started at Mikey, distress taking over his face as he slowly nodded. No longer was he trying to hide his own disappointment in himself with a sly emotion.
Mikey started at Ran. The men in Bonten have been by his side for a while. For years.ย Even though there was a loneliness in his being from the absenceย of people he grew up with, Mikey still acknowledged what his subordinates have done for him. Building this empire, and dedicating their lives to Bonten. Remaining loyal to him.
The idea that Ran hasn't been around his son, yet has been beside Mikey for years sparked something in the boss.
" Why don't I let you off for the rest of the project?"
Ran perked up, not expecting that response after the Boss's long silence. " That's not necessaryโ"
" It is." Mikey immediately interfered. " Take time to know your kid. To build a relationship with your baby mother."
Although Ran was grateful for the time off to have an opportunity, he wasn't sure that was possible anymore.
โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ
" Who was that last night?"
Chifuyu asked at the island counter. You had both dropped Haruki off at school today. Showing up in Chifuyu's black BMW, a beaming smile on all your faces as if you were a little family. You were sure you surprised the teachers who've been seeing you man free for the last couple years. So now here you and Chifuyu sat at the island, eating breakfast as the tv played lightly in the background. A calming aura surrounding the complex, with the beautiful day light flooding in. The deep yellow sun now painting your house the same color.
" If you don't mind me asking." Chifuyu quickly added. " You didn't seem too happy, but I didn't want to rile you up more."
You cleared your throat, chewing on your eggs as you blinked. " He wasโ um..."
What was he?
Who was Ran?
Your baby daddy?
Your ex?
Which one of those facts did you want to admit to Chifuyu?
" You don't have to answer Y/N..." he trailed off lowly.
" He's my ex boyfriend." You shook your head quickly, gathering the courage in your throat.
" Haruki's biological dad."
You could see the shock that came across Chifuyu's face with the small movement your eyes made.
" Oh..." he said as he slowly nodded. " That makes sense."
You stared at your plate as something bubbles in your gut. You felt the need to explain things to Chifuyu further. To enlighten him that you and Ran were nothing, and to clear all worries he might have in his mind right now.
" We used to date when I was younger." You started as you chewed your final bit of food.
" We were together for a long time. We were...in loveโI guess you could say. I mean, young 17 year old me really was attracted to the concept of love y'know? So attracted that I made a stupid decision that cost me my teenage and early adult years. Not that I...regret it...though. Well...now that I look at it I don't regret it. I ended up fine. But when he left after I told him the news, that's when I felt regret."
You didn't mean to make Chifuyu stop eating. Make him drop his fork as he stared at his plate in silence.
" It took me a while to adapt to life as a single mother." You continued, your tone more somber than before. " As a young mom especially. I had to do such gut wrenching things...."
Immediately you thought of that bitter moment in your bosses office. Young you didn't understand why that was happening, and there is nothing present you can say to defend those actions. You had felt so filthy that day, and it often nit picks at your mind.
" I'm sorry." You quickly apologized to Chifuyu; standing up. " The night ended horribly yesterday, and we all had so much fun; yet I'm dumping all of this shitty information on you that's probably making you second guess everything that we saidโ"
" I'm not second guessing anything." Chifuyu sounded certain, and as he raised his head; you knew there was nothing but truth behind his words. " I've always known you suffered with Haruki for a bitโbefore you met me. I just never knew it was all of...that."
Your face melted, lips parting as you fell speechless.
" I can see it in your eyes, the way you carry yourself, and the way you raise and discipline Haruki. There was a sad story behind you. There is a sad story behind you. I just didn't say anything, but I know Y/N."
For a second you stared at Chifuyu. " His father wanted to talk to him last night. But he was sleeping."
Chifuyu got quiet, letting you talk.
" I felt so bitter. Even after being certain for the last 9 years that I didn't want him around ever again. I'm saying I hate him, but I don't know if I genuinely do." Your lips curled into a snarl as you spoke. " I hate what he did to me and Haruki though. How he left."
Chifuyu reached for your hand, seizing it gently as he pushed his plate to the side. " You should talk to him, Y/N. You don't need him, that's a fact, but maybe Haruki might want to have him around."
Haruki might. Why would Haruki want his father around who left him while he was in the womb? Why would he want his father when he had his mother who cared for him x10?
Chifuyu gave your hand a squeeze due yo your silence. " Haruki doesn't have a reason to hate him, since he's so young. You do. But you can't project it onto Haru."
Why was Chifuyu willing to understand Ran?
" What about you?"
Your question made Chifuyu raise a brow.
" What about me?" He asked back. " This isn't about me Y/N. And Haruki's dad being present won't effect our relationship."
" I really don't know why he's coming back now.....almost 9 years later." Your eyes averted as your spoke, and by your toneโChifuyu can tell that you were also asking yourself.
" It's never too late to build a relationship with your child." He said with a small sigh. Your rather bitter energy was no longer concealed. Your anger for Ran was noticeableโyet understandable, so Chifuyu didn't see the point in downplaying it anymore.
" Yes it is." You countered with a a teeny raise in your voice. " Your kids are adults and now you want to get to know them? Please. It's too late."
" Maybe," Chifuyu shrugged, pinning a gentle look on you.
" โBut I wouldn't mind if my dad showed up today."
โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ-
6 Months Later,
" This is the first time I'm not near Haruki the month of his birthday."
Y/N said as she filled a duffel bag with various of things. She had made a deal with Ran, one she now reflected to be far too generous. He can have Haruki for two weeks. Not just a regular two weeks like they usually did, but the two weeks before his 9th birthday. Haruki started counting down for his birthday exactly three weeks before, and he had began his countdown recently. The duffel bag was filled with Teddy's, toys, homework practice sheets, hair supplies, and snacks that Haruki's likes to eat. You didn't give a two week supply of snacks, if Ran cared he would buy it again when they run out.
" You're overpacking." Chifuyu said with a sweat drop as he dropped Haruki's luggage in the foyer. " It's only two weeks."
You scoffed at his words. " It's like preparing for a babysitter. He's never taken care of Haruki before. So yes, over packing is necessary."
You didn't need to look back at Chifuyu to know he was frowning. " I know it sounds mean, but we both know it's true. I mean... I did the same to you for the first week."
" Yeah that makes sense." Chifuyu said with a sigh, watching as you stuffed the last bag of chips inside. " You called off right?"
" Off of what?"
" Lord have mercy Y/N..."
You turned to Chifuyu with a raised brow as he rubbed his forehead. " What?"
" Babe you are so forgetful." He said with a laugh that sounded almost pained. " โCalled off of work."
You're eyes widened to saucers as you stared at him. Your job at the bar was still the same. Bonten had raised the pay of the workers by a lot, and your pay was more than triple what you were getting before. The place was busy all the time, and the tips you got from the rich men and women that you served were insane. You remember receiving your first tip from a high level man after the two week renovations, and you were shook. It was equivalent to your monthly pay check at the time.
Life became much easier despite how dangerous your job had become.
The money Ran gave you and your money combined was all Haruki needed for school. So you were done taking out money from your pay check to Haruki's school life, and it sure saves you a lot.
So in result of all these good things, you now work 4 times a week. Specific days where your admirers mostly show up and drop a hefty tip in your pocket. Your life was stable, and you always had extra money to the side at the end of every week. Never did you think you would be paying bills early, and here you are.
" Shit!" You cursed after your moment of silence. " Can you please call in for me while I get Haruki from his room?! How could I forget!?"
You watched as Chifuyu nodded. Taking your phone to make way to your contacts before taking off to another room.
Ran should be here soon. Maybe in the next 20 minutes, and you were sure you had everything packed and ready for him. You rose to your feet, staring at everything as you mentally checked things off in your head. As far as you were concerned, you had everything ready for Haruki to have an ensured good time with Ran. This would be their first initial bonding time together as father and son, and you had boosted the amusement of this by packing recreational things. Something you didn't have to do.
" Haruki!" You yelled for your son. After all, he was the only thing unchecked on your mental list. " Your father will be here soon! Come down!"
You immediately cursed yourself when you realized you were supposed to go to Haruki, because Chifuyu was on the phone with your bartending Manager.
Ding, ding.
Talk about 20 minutes.
You don't ever remember Ran Haitani being early. Praise the lord if he was ever punctual, but 20 minutes early was far from on time. That's as early in a way that could be considered disrespectful.
But like Chifuyu said, it's never too late to change.
Ring, ring, riโ
" I'm coming!" You yelled before the third ring could finish. " Geez."
You'll have to apologize to Chifuyu later with all the yelling you're doing.
You opened the door with a face that was already flat because you had a good idea who was at that door.
" You're early."
Ran stared at you, his eyes skimming down to take in your appearance. Or more specifically, look over the rather formal clothes you were wearing in question.
" Well hello to you too Y/N," he said with a grin. Immediately letting himself in. " I'm glad you can finally call me instead of speaking through my brother."
You rolled your eyes at the subject he had settled to discuss upon. Out of everything Ran could've said, he had to bring up something like your behavior towards him.
" You can stop there, thank you." You said. Stopping him from proceeding any farther into your home. " Matter of fact, how is Rindou? I haven't talked to him since yesterday."
Ran stared at you for a good second. Hands tucked into his dress jacket. " Aside from our last conversation you haven't spoken to me in weeks."
You didn't know exactly what to say to Ran. You avoided him at work when Bonten would show up on any random day of the month. Always making an unexpected appearance once a month to relax in their personal recently built VIP section. You avoided confrontation with him, and only send videos and pictures of Haruki that you collect weekly.
You had no business speaking more with Ran Haitani. Your ex. Your baby father. Not when you were a woman in a relationship.
In fact, if it was up to you, you wouldn't speak with him at all. He's lucky he and Haruki's relationship is getting stronger, because that kid that resembles him is the only reason he'll ever hear from you.
" I've been busy." You shrugged off as a final answer. " Let me call Haruki down againโ"
The call of his name immediately followed with an answer and footsteps. You gave a look to Ran that told him he wouldn't be present any longer to interrogate you.
" Daddy!" Haruki called with joy as he made contact with the cold floors. " Daddy's here!"
The sprint he made to his father was adorable.
Ran welcomed Haruki with wide arms, lifting him up into the air almost immediately. Just like how Chifuyu always did, but Ran added the extra spins.
" Hey buddy," he said as he hoisted his almost 9 year old son on his hip. " How you doing?"
Haruki smiled brightly as he stared into the same colored eyes of his father. " Good!"
You watched as Ran pressed a quick kiss to Haruki's forehead before lowering him back down to the ground.
" So I'm guessing you got everything ready?" Ran asked you with a big inhale. " The trip is going to be me, Haru, and Rin only."
You nodded. Lifting the luggages you packed as you nodded Ran over. " Yup. I called the school about his vacation also. You're set."
Ran removed the luggages from your hold before you even had the opportunity to put them in drag mode.
" Thanks." He said as he towered over you.
" I know this whole thing is new to you, and me too, so thanks for letting me have another chance."
You settled a small glare on him as you scoffed. " You're acting like you wouldn't have found a way to get what you wanted anyways."
Ran quickly shook his head at your words. Denying them. " Never. I'm truly thankful to you."
With the look in Ran's eyes, you knew he wasn't lying. That gaze hadn't changed since you guys were teenagers. It was the look of genuine words. He often fixed such a look on his brother, but you were able to be on the receiving end sometimes. Even now, into your adulthood, Ran still managed to allure you in with ways only you would understand.
How could you possibly go on hating him? It wouldn't do any good, and it was really only affecting you.
You weren't sure if it was forgiveness that flew through you...
" No need to thank me." You shrugged, taking a step back. " I'm just doing it so Haruki has fun."
Ran nodded, but you were sure he saw through it. " I just hope one day we can make me and you work out agaโ"
" You guys are leaving already?" Chifuyu asked as he walked in. " At least let me see you off buddy."
Haruki immediately ran to hug the blonde man, and you couldn't help but notice that Ran had a new interest to stare at.
" I'm going to miss you..." Haruki mumbled.
You smiled faintly at the soft interaction.
" You'll have fun with your dad and uncle."
Chifuyu gave Haruki one last hug before he let him run back to his father. " Hello Haitani."
Ran hummed in acknowledgment, watching as Chifuyu joined your side.
He let his eyes roam the matching formal wear you guys wore. Looking over at the clothes that clearly showed you two would be accompanying each other somewhere tonight.
" Say bye Ruki." Ran urged as he opened the door to exit.
You waved bye to your son with Chifuyu standing by your side. Words to bless them of a good trip filled with fun memories with his uncle and father.
All while avoiding the eyes of the man you once called your lover.
" We met each other when we were young, before we knew enough about disappointment, and once we did we found we reminded each other of it."
โNicole Krauss
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