Marron Cream - Tumblr Posts
some stuff to say
yesterday I discovered a new favorite sanrio character whose name is marron cream and guess what! WE SHARE THE SAME BIRTHDAY! She is so cute and the opposite of me which is crazy cause I'm such a pessimistic mess with dwindling will to live so it's like crazy but I'm glad she was revealed to me, I feel like if she was a real person we would get along with the whole baking,knitting,and fashion stuff but knowing me I would ruin it and she would leave me for being too clingy and sad all the time since she's so cute and proper looking she would probably call me miserable like everyone else but it's not like I want to be miserable it became such a habit I can't really help it much and faking it to look and sound happy can be exhausting and so difficult to maintain but ignoring and pretending you don't need any boy isn't good either. I feel like she would try and help but if I get to troublesome she would at least let me down gently , she's so pretty and nice. Well if you haven't noticed yet me and my brain have been fighting hard and now I feel a little numb and tired, been thinking of ways to end it all, maybe by hanging, or pills; don't worry I'm not actually gonna do anything I'm tired down by a mortgage so my mom would have some difficultly if I leave anytime soon so I'm just gonna wait till something let's see. Does anyone have an experience where you can kinda feel quiet not like hearing it but like an actual weight of quiet. I'm so lonely but I know I can afford to meet good people they'll be grossed out by me when they find out how desperate I am, how far i'll go just to know they like me and would stay with me, i'm not that cringe I swear I just want someone to care or at least want me, I know I have to want myself first for others to follow but today loneliness is just riding my back again, i've been alone for too long.
