Made Me Laugh - Tumblr Posts
favorite scene from the entire game. harry says "but kim 🥺our bond 🥺" and kim says "ugh fine 🙄 but only because we do look really cool"
This whole page.... implies that the fanny pack marcille wears is the one she bought from chilchuck who haggled it for her 😭😭😭
THEYRE MATCHING 😭😭😭😭
I honestly found these quite humorous lmfao
𝐄𝐧𝐡𝐲𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐬: 𝐎𝐓𝟔
𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐲𝐩𝐞 ’𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐲’
𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟, 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐤-𝐢𝐬𝐡
𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝!𝐞𝐧𝐡𝐲𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐱 𝐚𝐟𝐚𝐛!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: “𝐤𝐦𝐬“ 𝐣𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐬, 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲, 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐬𝐮𝐛 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡
𝐚𝐞𝐫𝐢’𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐲 𝐛𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐭𝟔 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐫𝐢𝐤𝐢 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬𝐧’𝐭 𝐬𝐢𝐭 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐥‼️ 𝐢 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐤𝐞𝐲 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐬𝐨 𝐢 𝐚𝐩𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐢𝐳𝐞 𝐢𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞😓
perm taglist: @defnotfertilizedtoesw @cornenhapovs @angel1kisses @petalsofink @simjaeyunramyeons @pockettwinzz
Every day I get a little closer to buckling and getting Spotify premium but then where would I get the moments of extreme whiplash that keep me awake on the train, like only minutes ago when an ad for the Mario movie followed Cherry Wine by hozier?? How else am I supposed to achieve my entire emotional range for the day before it’s even 9AM?
Do it for the Plot
~
I like the idea of Tim and Danny meeting and just clocking each other as little shits TM.
Just causing chaos to everyone in a way that can't really be traced back to them like 'Who? Me? I was busy doing all of these other things I have no idea how I would do that?'
Danny helps Tim get revenge on the bats for all the shit he's had to put up with and being absolute trolls about the whole thing *chefs kiss*
~
Tim&Danny dragging Ra's body
Damian: "Wha-?"
T&D: "No one will ever believe you"
Danny makes them go invisible
~
Bats: "Where ya going Tim?"
Tim holding back a cackle:" Oh, it's my anniversary so it's date night!"
Bats: "Anniversary?! We didn't know you were getting serious with someone?"
Tim: "Serious? He's my husband of course I'm serious about him"
Bats: "Wait hold on-!"
Tim: "Gotta go! Can't be late I have to make sure the babysitter has everything they'll need."
Bats: "BABYSITTER!?"
Tim: "Bye bye~!"
(They planned all of it including their 'fake marriage', Danny went back in time with the help of CW who is a troll at heart, and made the legal changes including Dan and Dani as their kids (their de-aged) otherwise someone (Oracle) would have eventually realized that the license is fake. So they went back in time and made it legitimately real)
~
Danny being Ghost King means that Tim is now also royalty
Tim walking up to John Constantine:" I have your entire soul"
and then just turning around and leaving
John very much felt the very strong Death Energy claiming Tim: "I don't want to be sober right now"
~
Earth about to be taken over for the 5th time that year by higher beings
Tim walking up late with coffee in his hand: "Leave or I'll call my husband"
Higher Beings very much not wanting to mess with the High King of the Infinite Realms: ᕕ( ᐕ )ᕗ
~
The Phantom family relaxing with cucumbers on their eyes and face masks: "Did you hear something?"
The Bats & Everyone else:
~
Just an Idea
I love this idea. It sounds so fun
Somehow Dick manages to actually lock Tim up in Arkham after Bruce “dies,” and it results in the longest period of no breakouts in Gotham history.
Don’t misunderstand. Tim’s not like standing at this revolving door of a prison entrance intimidating people into staying. He’s just being he’s weird self. He’s not Robin anymore after all, Damian took that mantle, but he’s still Timothy Drake and if you think this little twink of a boy with too much Information on everyone and to many random ass skill sets is not the most entertaining thing to show up in those halls then you are wrong.
Dude walks in with a suitcase half his size and wearing a pair of shades that cost more than the building housing him. He has a cell to himself that’s??? Fully furnished what the fuck? How did he get a laptop in here?
Someone approaches him in the canteen thinking they could extort or threaten him and Tim reflexively flips and pins them to the ground. He then sits in the guy and starts telling his captive audience about a cold case from 87 that he’s absolutely positive would be solved already if the police were competent in collecting evidence but also holy shit the uncle was so obviously guilty I can’t believe he somehow managed to get away with it.
Tim and Dent regularly hold mock trials. They’re not serious. Someone from the audience usually comes up with some random scenario and the two argue over it and site sources they have memorized and they go back and forth until there’s a vote by a preselected Jury.
Somehow Tim and Riddler started a “Pun-off.” That roped in like….half of the inmates. They had to cool it after someone got stabbed for a particularly bad pun though.
PowerPoint nights were implemented and the therapist thought it was a great idea because it allowed the patience an outlet for their obsessions. Most showed up because Tim was a bottomless well of cold case information and obscure conspiracy theories. This man has shown up every night with a new PowerPoint to present. No one talks about the number of note takers when he was presenting the PowerPoint on cloning.
People start showing up to group therapy on the off chance they’re in a group with Tim because there is something entertaining about listening to him dramatically wax poetic about how if he’d “ever felt the true touch of his mother’s love then he likely wouldn’t have spiraled down mentally when all his closest friends died so close together.
Once, Tim wanted Alaskan Crab so he ordered it and had enough shipped in for all the inmates and the staff. Hired a private chef to come in and cook it all too.
Meanwhile, in one on one therapy, Tim kinda just laughs with his appointed therapists about everything that’s going on. Talking about his friends does help, and playing up his intelligent eccentric billionaire is cathartic in a way Tim’s never really expected. “How sad is it that I’ve had more fun around these people than I have with my own family?” He asked one day.
Dick shows up one day to check on his baby brother because all he hears from Arkham is “Tim’s doing great!” Also he’s trying to check up on why there haven’t been any breakouts recently. When he’s brought to Tim’s cell he’s super confused. Again, this is a fully furnished Cell and Tim’s “smuggled” in a super computer essentially and what looked like a very expensive bed. There’s a shelf of books and a number of other electronics and oh? Are those WI financial records? Is Tim still running the company out of Arkham?
Anyway, Dick is checking in and Tim beams at him. “Dude, you basically sent me on Sabbatical! No fighting, no Damian or Jason! I don’t have to submit patrol reports. I’m not always bruised up from fights. No Damian or Jason! And when my fellow inmates aren’t being psychotic they’re entertaining as shit! I’m having more fun here than I have had in the last decade.”
And Dick doesn’t really know how to handle this, especially when Tim slips him a tablet and says. “By the way, I called in a favor with Slade (or other mercenary of your choice) since that Bitch owes me for that one stunt in the Caribbean, and had him check out some locations I thought Bruce might have left clues. Turns out I was right. Our cruddy father was in fact not dead and lost in the Time Stream. This tablet has everything you need to bring him back assuming you don’t think I’m still losing my sanity, which by the way, I’ve seen future selves where my sanity was lost and you better pray that never happens. Apparently the world burns. Killed that version of me already though, it’s somewhere in the YJ archives along with Gun Batman, Joker Batman, and Demon Head Tim. That last one is still possible though.”
“There’s at least two ninja’s here who have been tasked with keeping an eye on me on Ra’s behest. Wouldn’t put it past that man to abduct and try to brainwash me, but also if he tried Dent and Riddle would team up and systematically tear his organization a part to get me back. Apparently I’ve brought in enough intellectual stimulation and  entertainment that if anything happened to me they would ‘kill everyone involved and then Themselves.’ Their words not mine. I mean, I haven’t seen hide more tail of the Joker and wouldn’t be surprised if someone shot him dead in his cell to keep him from ruining our fun.” It was Tim actually. Figured he’d give patricide a go since all of his father/father figures keep dying. Figured he’d let Joker Junior complete the set.
“Anyway. Go save Bruce. When’s he’s back, tel him to come pick me up. Ask him if he’s proud that I’m following in his footsteps. Oooh tell him they stuck me in his old room I bet he’d love that!”
Dick end up leaving wondering if he somehow made a problem worse.
A month later Bruce shows up in a suit. Tim is drinking something out of a pineapple, sitting around a table with Dent, Nigma, and Harley playing a game of poker. Tim looks up, smiles, and asks if he wants to be delt in. Bruce sighs heavily but pulls up a chai, nods at the the other’s at the table and lets his son deal him into the game.
Somehow, Bruce is still surprised every time he learns that Tim is the most like him out of all his children.
Bruce, sitting through the mandatory psych eval he created for the Justice League that Clark is also making him take:
Hal Jordan, underlining something on his clipboard: “Name a weakness.”
Bruce: “All of my questions sound like insults.”
Hal:
Bruce:
Hal: “…can you give an example?”
Bruce: “Can you not think of one yourself?”
I just really like the trope of Danny getting summoned, alright?
——
After he shoved Pariah Dark in his coffin shaped locker what what Danny hoped to be for all of eternity, the half unfortunately inherited all of Pariah’s responsibilities.
“What was it again? With great powers comes great responsibilities?” Danny let his head hit the table with an audible thunk. He’s in his “office,” the ghost zone’s approximation of where he might be able to do work seriously. The house- the extension of his haunt- had added the room right next to his bedroom. Danny had to lift all of the paperwork from Pariah’s castle (that’s now also a part of what’s considered Danny’s but he doesn’t think about that) and move it to his main haunt.
He prayed to the universe at large to let him off. Danny hated doing homework- science not withstanding because at least he understood that- let alone an asshole’s centuries worth of work. Danny bemoaned the fact that he was elected the King. He didn’t even defeat Pariah all by himself, so why couldn’t the others do it?!
Like a wave of merciful fate, the beginning tugs of a summoning pulled at his core.
“Thank Ancients!”
Danny scrambled to grab a sticky note, unfortunately glowing green as things tended to in the Ghost Zone, and scribbled down that he’s been summoned and to not look for him until his vacation work was done.
With that note done, Danny decided to bring his A game to the summoning. Allowing his secondary form to wash over him, Danny quickly checked the mirror to make sure he was presentable. A bright glowing ice crown- not the crown of fire, because it was essentially useless without the ring and Danny wasn’t keen on being a king, let alone a near infinitely powerful one- settled across his brow showed his status. A cape, this form’s best feature, made of an expanse of galaxies, nebulae, and frost cling at the end was swept over his shoulders and pinned together with a cloak pin made of clusters of black holes.
A couple of additions to his normal hazmat suit and his trusty thermos at his side, Danny all but dove into the summoning magic with an excited whoop of glee.
As Danny got closer to the magic-made portal, he could hear the whispers of the living presences beyond it.
His summoners! Hopefully it’s not a cult again, even if he thought they were pretty funny trying to summon the king of the dead to kill more people. Not funny “haha,” funny weird.
How should he do this…? Scary? Funny? Oh! Or maybe he should ditch the crown!
Danny grinned, waving his hand to dispel the crown of ice. It was nice, but he was in a dungeon critter mood today.
“Oh, this is going to be gooood.”
Danny cracked his knuckles and put on the most dead-inside-and-outside expression he could manage, modeling it off of the Nasty Burger workers during closing shift. The halfa stepped through the portal.
——
“The ritual is completed! You will all face the might of Pariah Dark, the eternal king of the dead!” The villain of the week cackled as his cult cheered. Wonder Woman, scuffed and injured from the magical bolts these magic users had shot at her earlier, grimaced and raised her sword.
“We will defeat Pariah Dark,” she proclaimed. Her allies rallied at her proclamation and readied themselves for another fight. “This world will not bow to the likes of you!”
“We are all but mere ants before the king of the dead! Pariah Dark will bring forth the reckoning this shitty world deserves!”
“Actually, Pariah Dark’s kind of busy, so you’re gonna have to leave a message.”
Green Arrow’s arrow jerked towards the new voice. Batman paused, hand holding batarangs at the ready. He, out of all of them, knew better than to underestimate a young voice.
A gloved hand shoved through the green portal, using the edges like a door frame to heave itself through. A humanoid shape, with sharp ears all but crawled out of the Lazarus green portal. Batman wondered if this was what Jason saw when he came back to life.
"Lord Pariah Dark is busy?!"
The figure- a boyish not-human- heaved a sigh. "Do you people seriously think that the High King of the Infinite Realms isn't swamped with work?"
"And who are you supposed to be? His secretary?" Hal asked, Ring glowing and at the ready. Wonder Woman tensed and mentally struck Hal away from the list of people to consider for diplomatic missions.
"Me? I'm a glorified paper pusher." The being turned back to the cultists, his cape containing the universe swished behind him. "Did you have a message for Pariah Dark?"
"He was meant to rain down death and destruction!"
"Okay, first of all, I feel like you guys are missing a really important point." The being pointed at the cult leader. “It’s not called the King of the Dead for no reason, you know. Death comes for everyone eventually. Also, I have to do a seriously giant amount of paperwork every time one of you fruitloops gets the bright idea to cause an influx of deaths.”
Danny stomped across the circle, grabbed the collar of the cultist leader’s cloak and yanked him down. He shook him. “Do you people have any idea how annoying it is?! Huh?! Do you know how long the A-354 Form is?! Stop trying to get Pariah to kill people! I’m sick of the paperwork, dammit!”
"How- how did you get out of the circle?!"
The cultists and the heroes squared up, ready to fight the possible common enemy: Danny.
Danny is having the best time of his half life. Screw kingly dignity, Danny’s gotta de-stress somehow! He had a whole bag of complaints!
"You wrote the circle wrong, idiots! Ancients, are you people even literate? What even are those scribbles?" Danny kept shaking the cultist. Wow, what an amazing stress ball!
“Uh- hey, he looks kind of sick…” The Flash said, trying to be a good hero and mediate before escalating. Danny snarled and Flash held up his hands, gulping in fear as Danny’s eyes narrowed at him. “Did I… do something?”
“You,” Danny hissed. “You mother- fruitloop! Stop screwing with the timeline, you giant red-! Do you know how annoying it is to readjust the death count every time one of you little merry red jesters takes a jaunt through time and space?! Do you even know how many complaints I had to field?! Oh, boy you’re all going to regret summoning me today, because I’ve had a long time to think about what I’d do to everyone who made me work overtime!”
Danny bared his teeth, eyes sparkling with mirth as he froze the cultists.
"We're not letting you take over the world," Hawk-Woman said, raising her mace that pulsed with electricity.
Danny snorted to hide his wince. "I'm not interested. Just let me punch him once. Just once." Danny pointed at the Flash.
"Honestly, I can't even blame you," Black Canary muttered, fists raised.
"Wha-! Canary! That's so rude! You traitor!"
"Shouldn't have put skittles in my shoes then. Those hurt, Flash."
"Enough." Everyone shut up at the sound of Batman's command. "What do you mean they wrote the circle wrong."
Danny, who was watching the byplay with interest, shrugged. "They wanted to summon the Ghost King, right? We've had a... change of leaders recently."
"Who is the leader now?"
Danny waggled a finger at Batman. "Nuh-uh. I'm gonna collect my over-time compensation, which is punching the Flash, and then we can negotiate for information."
"Flash."
"I don't want to get punched, Bats!"
"The alternative is that I let the current Ghost King have a go at you."
"Flash."
"Oh my god, just get punched, Barry!" Danny heard Green Lantern Hal Jordan whisper.
"Ugh, fine. No one video this."
Immediately, three phones go up to record the Flash getting decked by a teenage looking ghost. Danny floated closer and wound his fist back, letting loose some of the ghost strength he normally keeps restrained. "This is for my overtime and for Clockwork, you jerk."
The halfa slammed his fist straight into the Flash's face, knocking him clear into the air. Superman catches him but Danny no longer paid attention to the Flash, petty vengeance enacted.
"Honestly, I don't have a problem with you as a person. You're kind of cool. Break the timeline again in the next three months, though, and you're on my shit-list."
"What do you want in exchange for information?"
Danny hummed. "Depending on the level of information, and I reserve the right to not answer any questions. For the name of the current Ghost King..."
He did want that new gaming console. And Jazz could use some help with her rent.
"I want $5,000 and a plate of really good spaghetti."
"I have cash."
Danny nodded at the Dark Knight. "You just carry $5,000 in cash on you? Who does that?"
"I like to be prepared."
"And he's rich," Superman chimed in.
The Flash reappeared with a plate of spaghetti from an Italian place he teleported to. "Here you go. Fresh, and pleasedon'tscrewwithmyafterlife."
Danny shoveled the spaghetti into his mouth, jaw unhinging like a particularly disturbing snake right before he dumped the whole thing- plate and all- down his throat. "Thanks! The food didn't even try to kill me this time! You're good."
"Does your food try to kill you all of the time?!" The Flash- Barry, apparently- asked.
Danny nodded as he took the cash from Batman's gloved hands. "Totally. It sucks."
"Identity." Batman demanded.
"Oh, yeah. The current ghost king is me."
"...What."
"You have been swindled. Bamboozled. Outwitted and outsmarted," Danny snickered, shoving the bundle of cash in his chest. "But seriously, I'm the king. We got rid of Pariah a while ago."
The crown of ice materialized.
"You said you were a glorified paper pusher!" Hawk-Woman chortled.
"I am! I'm pushing so many papers across my desk, it's unending, I swear!"
Batman growled. "You tricked us."
Danny smirked, "You got tricked." Red Robin, in the corner, snorted quietly. "Anyways, if you've got more interesting things around here, I'll considering busying myself with that instead of sentencing you to an afterlife of paperwork."
The adults straightened, grimacing. "Beast Boy is green," Hal offered up.
"Hey!" Beast Boy shouted, offended at the easy way Hal offered him up. He turned to Danny. "But have you ever seen a green chinchilla? Super cute. Watch!"
"Woah!" Danny clapped. Yes, he'll hang out with them before dragging himself back.
Tim Summons the Ghost King
Tim sighed, looking down at the sigils and circles chalked onto the floor in one of the unused bedrooms. Alfred was going to kill them, but if it made Dick believe him, then it'd be worth it.
"Tim, this isn't necess—" "Yes it is." Tim interrupted, glancing up from the book he was referencing to glare at Dick.
The man looked tired, and drawn. Grief had carved lines into his face that weren't there before.
"Dick. If you won't believe me, then maybe you'll believe this."
And he started to read, the unfamiliar words tripping heavily off of his tongue.
At first, nothing happened, and Dick opened his mouth to say something, only for Tim to glare him into silence.
Any hint of wanting to speak vanished when the sigils lit up, one by one, in a bright, eerie green.
Ice-blue fire flared up around the circle itself, and Tim finished the chant with the being's Name. This was it. His last hope.
If the Ghost King couldn't tell him that Bruce wasn't dead, then…
He shook the thought away, glaring stubbornly past flames and into the circle where a dark form was slowly fading into sight.
Black hair. He noticed that first, followed by blue eyes, and he couldn't help his knee jerk snort of amusement. Adoption bait.
But… this ritual was supposed to summon the ghost king. This was some random kid. What the hell'd he done wrong?!
But… maybe it was some kind of trick…? Maybe ghosts were like fae, and it was a trick to get him to let it out of the circle…
Tim's eyes narrowed, and he took one half step forward, staying carefully clear of the lines.
"What the hell?" The kid muttered, looking around a little wildly at the circle and the sigils. "What is this, some kinda seance type thing? I thought Sam said those were bullshit…?"
"Ghost King." Tim said, and bright blue eyes snapped to his, and the kid paled sharply.
"Ah hah hah hah… I don't know what you're talking about?" The reply was weak, and Tim scoffed internally.
"Ghost King, I have summoned you for a question. In return, I will owe you a favor that will not involve the deaths of anyone currently living."
The kid blinked. "Um… cool? I don't know what you're talking about, but I can try to answer a question, I guess…"
Tim nodded sharply as the flames flared a little higher. "Is Bruce Wayne dead?"
The kid's eyes flashed green, and the word seemed to slip out of his mouth before he could think. "No."
Tim's eyes flicked over to Dick, triumph on his face.
Dick was staring, pale faced and wide-eyed at the kid, then at Tim.
"How in the hell did I know that?" the kid muttered to himself, looking confused. "Who the hell is Bruce Wayne?"
"He could be lying." Dick croaked, and the kid's head snapped up, and he scowled.
"I'm not lying! I don't know who the hell you're talking about, but whoever it is, he's not dead! Go on, ask me someone else, someone you know is dead for sure!"
"Fine." Dick snapped. "Is Elvis dead?"
"No."
This made me laugh quite a lot
Brick On the Head - Part 3
—————
It had been three weeks since Tim had debuted as Kea and none of the family had caught him yet. Both Oracle and Kea gloated at the development, it was nice to have a leg up on the rest of the bats.
Tim hadn’t realized just how much he missed regular patrol until he was back at it. He took to the streets as soon as the sun went down and engaged in frequent bat stalking on the slow nights. Yes, he was loving his life.
Unfortunately the growth pains returned with a vengeance and it was making patrol difficult. Kea shifted from his position on the roof of an old factory. He needed a good stretch, a hot bath and a full fridge of food. A frown tugged at his lips as he glanced at the sleeves of his costume…
“Come onnnnn. Two inches too short already.” Tim frowned deeper. “Alfred is going to notice… and bench me again.” He scowled in the dark and popped his back.
The night had been relatively quiet, only a couple muggings and one bank heist. He glanced at the time and grimaced as deep aches wracked his body. Never had his bed called more loudly.
“O, I’m headed in for the night.” Even his even tone sounded achy. He grappled off the building and found his bike.
“Early night. You good K?”
“Another growth spurt. I’m going to have to get the suit adjusted again…”
“Again?”
“Yeh… Alfred is gonna bench me probably.”
“Sounds like you might need it, Bat-giant. Maybe we should call you big bird?”
“Real funny, O.” Tim rolled his eyes and sped off towards the manor.
“You know NW is going to use that one.”
“Well, it all depends on when he takes notice at how big I’ve grown… I need all new clothes but I’ve been too busy.” His voice grew to a grumble.
“What about grabbing some of Jason’s clothes?”
“Not a chance, they’re too short. I’ll just have to bite the bullet and ask Alfred for help. I’m too tired to go shopping.”
“Well, get some rest Kea. Signing off.”
————
It had taken him two more weeks of dodging everyone before he’d approached Alfred. Alfred had took one look at Tim and his uniform once he’d fessed up and had returned him to light duty… and contacted Dr. Thompkins. Tim knew better than to voice his irritation… but he was definitely irritated. She’d told him that this should be the last of his growth spurts. Relief had flooded him at the announcement.
“So I’m done?”
“As far as I can tell.” She eyed his chart and then looked him over. “But at 6 foot 10 I’m going to insist you up your calorie intake. You’re far under the weight needed for your frame.” She examined his arm muscles carefully. “Your muscle tone and structure has shifted as well. You’ve bulked up some. However, you should be much heavier and be intaking more calories. I’ve already talked to Alfred and I expect significant weight gain and new muscle definition.”
Tim simply stared and nodded his head. He’d gone from one of the shortest bats to the tallest. No longer could his older brothers or father dwarf him. The only downside was adjusting his fighting style a little. He considered how intimidating his new height would be and how he could use it against criminals… Mostly though he thought about taunting his brothers.
————-
Two more weeks passed before Alfred, Tim and Babs had decided to break the news. They waited until patrol was ended and Tim had donned his new costume. He blended into the shadows and prepared for his family.
It didn’t take long for everyone to slip off their cowls and dominos, but Tim waited..: and waited until relaxation had set in. Only then did he swoop in. He glided down from a hidden ledge and spread his cape dramatically. Silently he landed behind the group.
“What took you so long?”
Batman turned and glared. There was no other response but a twinge in his cheek let Tim know he’d startled him.
“Did you get stilts?” Jason scoffed. “You look ridiculous. Just because you’re short—-“
“How?” Bruce set down at the bat-computer and stared at Tim.
“Science… Bruce. Science.”
Tim realizing the best ways to hide your secret identity is to either be in love with them or to hate them, and since he already has a crush on an actual person he decides to go the hating Robin route
He can’t go about like Bruce does, him and Batman having a weird exes that weren’t ever dating thing, and he can’t do Clark’s I-disagree-with-Superman’s-methods thing because he has to be original and he refuses to go the easy route of having an actual excuse to avoid his secret identity
What Tim decides on is this:
They have beef. The beef will not be explained but there will be twitter wars. When asked they will only respond with “they know what they did”. They are fighting in a Denny’s parking lot. Bets are placed. There is video evidence. Surprisingly Tim wins. This is not explained. It becomes a running meme in Gotham.
Young Justice finds out- they don’t know Robin’s identity- they make fun of him. He kicks their asses in training. They are left questioning if Tim Drake could kick their asses. They belive Tim Drake is an upcoming Rouge. They do not know why Robin has been laughing his head off for the last ten minutes. Then they see a video of Tim face planting while skateboarding. They are no longer concerned. Robin is still laughing. They realize that Robin just really hates Tim and the hatred seems requited. They make their own memes.
Jason comes back to life. He sees the memes. He is confused. If Bruce is Batman, and Tim Drake, Bruce’s son (??? He has parents?), is not Robin, then who is? And does this mean that Bruce did not replace him?
Bruce has no clue this is happening.
Tim is having the time of his life.
J’onn is questioning how he got blackmailed by a 15 year old. (He thinks it’s hilarious)
Commander Peepers: ...............*laughs loudly*
Marvin the Martian: 😑🤦🏿♂️
Commander Peepers: *keeps laughing * Hahahahahahahaha.... Oh I can't take it anymore, ha-ha!... And this is your plan to seize the Earth!?...
Marvin the Martian: *mumbles nervously* Shut up already....
Commander Peepers: Hahahahahahaha...hah... ha.......... Okay.
I’m just casually imagining a scenario of Mr compress getting chased and one of the pro heroes saying come back here you tumblr sexyman looking ass
Now all I can think about is Mr. Compress taunting them like the gingerbread man, except it’s “Run, run as fast as you can! You can't catch me. I'm the tumblr sexyman!”