Love Love Love Love Love - Tumblr Posts

Bear Selfies Captured By Camera Traps

Howl's Moving Castle | ハウルの動く城 (2004) dir. Hayao Miyazaki

had to gif her in her cute outfit

THE BEAR 3.07 "LEGACY"

” solidarity “

IT’S DONE!! this comic has one of my favorite panel compositions that i’ve ever done BY FAR, and the black and white aspects were really fun to do.

the conversation being had is up to viewer interpretation

Hey, I wanted to do another fight scene…I missed the mark on things I wanted to convey in action so I’m not very happy with this

I LOVE LOVE LOVE WHEN THE SKY LOOKS LIKE A RENAISSANCE PAINTING !!! 🗣️⬇️⬇️⬇️

I

I know we’re all talking about this clip BUT I NEED TO FUCKING TALK ABOUT THIS CLIP

ITS SOOOOO FUCKING GOOD I LOVE JON MATTESON SO MUCH AND WILL BRANNER EATS THOSE NOTES UP

The fucking switch from the super loud and emotionally intense I’M NOT A LOSER to the fucking tiny don’t kill me is so fucked up i love it

I’ve not shut the fuck up about this specific scene for like two other posts but I felt the need to actually post the clip

Also it is hot that he immediately starts repeating it just because he’s told to by a dominant force, let alone the person who’s about to murder him and I’m tired of pretending it’s not- sue me I don’t make the rules I just love pathetic men

(Art by Bitter_Chxrry) More Disventure camp NPMD!

Note:Click on Hunters for full view.

TW: NSFW, noncon/dubcon, size-difference, captive darling, punishment, deepthroating, bondage

fem reader

You beg your big bulky kidnapper not to take your virginity because you’re waiting to give it to someone you love, and he just smiles at you crookedly – stroking your teary cheek as he rests the hefty weight of his big fat veiny manhood on your belly, leaking hot pre while cooing at you with deceptively kind eyes, saying that he thinks that’s a lovely idea.

Flipping you over, he starts prepping your virgin ass instead – spit and four fat fingers stretching it out while you sob and wring your wrists in your fluffy cuffs – all pointlessly as the pink hole starts to give, becoming soft and squishy, swallowing his digits up in wet velvety squelches.

And filling the taut hole up with his massive cock, he rubs your clit and whispers darkly that he’ll save your pretty cunt for when you fall in love with him.

He’s overjoyed to see you’ve already fallen in love with him after only one round of pounding your poor butt into a sore sloppy opening – all but begging him to take your pussy instead. 

Obviously, he obliges, sucking the bloated fat of your teary cheek with a hum and a firm squeeze to your sore buttcheek before flipping you back around.

He kisses your lips, your neck, your tits, your stomach – laving down until licking through your pretty pussylips, promptly tongue-fucking the sweet hole until you cum with a shudder.

Smiling into your trembling cunt – he chuckles, feeling it pulse against his lips. “Come on, baby ~” He encourages. “Tell me how much you love me – tell me how much you want my sweet, sweet love.”

He pulls your thighs around his torso, rubbing his messy cock against your slick cunt while nipping at the corner of your lips – patiently waiting for your forced consent. Grossly amused – and aroused.

“Ah – please…” Your lips warble – eyes screwed shut where you try angling away from his steamy breaths.

“Please what, baby? Please make love to your sweet pussy?” He suggests with a moan – hunched over your smaller form with his cock licking your clit as he slides it back and forth between your thighs. “Or do you maybe miss it in your tight ass?”

“No – please-”

“Then tell me, baby. Tell me you want it – tell me you love me, and I’ll give it to you.” He purrs – still while laying open-mouthed kisses on your lips and cheek.

You whimper, crying wetly. “I love you – please make love in my pussy…”

He hums in return – a satisfying rumble as he slips his cock-head through your folds until it settles in your opening.

Your breath hitches at the stretch – then you suck your teeth – hissing as he splits you open and treads your tight virginity over his girth – hugging him air-tight like a condom bought two sizes too small.

“Oh, baby~ so tight~ so tight and good~ wet like a good virgin should be~” He groans, sinking every thick inch inside despite the way you squirm, ignoring your sweet cry when you beg him to slow down. 

He’s down to the hilt in a moment – kneading against your womb with his chubby cockhead. Big hands squeeze your ass – using it to pump into you in steady deep-hitting thrusts – his lips on your forehead in a prolonged kiss.

You pant out sticky whines as he ruts inside you – fat cock stretching you badly for your first time – making everything sting numbly, only partly soothed by a tickling pleasure – tummy feeling hot and tight until it all snaps again, leaving you to shake on the massive member, throttling him all so sweetly.

“I love you, baby~ love you and your tight pussy~ squeezing me so good~” He slurs against you, drooling on your skin. “Gonna fill you up with love – all of it – all of it in your sweet pussy~”

BNHA – Deku, Kirishima, Denki, Enji, Hawks

JJK - Gojo, Geto, Nanami, Toji

Imagine Pervert!Xiao who's a filthy little pervert, jerking off to your panties when you're not home. Your shoes stepping on his cock, he tries to get off on it but you don't allow him to. You pull on the leash to keep his head buried in your cunt. His tongue lapping up your sweet juices, high from the smell of your cunt.

“Mistress please let me cum! I'll be a good boy.” Xiao whines, pretty tears forming in his eyes. His cock red from edging, precum leaking from it. This punishment sure isn't ending soon.

rk + beetle collab wompty-dompty

Newt / Hermann

Some Newt / Hermann just having a fun time in each other company

he’s really out there. like That

MISAMO 'Do Not Touch' (2023) + Art References

This Is Me Trying - JJ Maybank - Part 2

Hi Everyone! Thank you for all the love for Part 1 of this series! If you haven't read, Part 1 can be found HERE. My masterlist can be found HERE Warning: Mentions of alcohol consumptions, swearing lol and mean JJ :( I hope you enjoy, feedback is appreciated as always. Lots of love xoxo

With each turn, Y/N recognised the streets more, almost instinctively turning the wheel rather than looking at the directions. She rolled her window down and as sea breeze hit her, tears prickled her lash line from the familiar and soothing feeling that was laced with hints of worry and she was undoubtably terrified of being back.

The guilt of her leaving never went away. She spent 3 years in college and out of that time, she never once visited the Outer Banks, her mum having to travel out to New York to see her because she couldn’t bring herself to step foot on the island again.

The first week after her move was the most difficult. She cried day and night and she thanked the universe that she had her own personal dorm, because no doubt if she had a roommate, they would’ve freaked out over her oversensitive behaviour.

During that week she left over 50 missed calls on JJ’s phone and at least double the amount of messages. Not one of them receiving a reply.

And of course alongside the silent treatment she received from JJ, she had very opposite reactions from the rest of the pogues, who were angry and upset with her and they were extremely vocal about it.

“Turn the camera around, I want to see where you are right now.” Was the first thing that Kie said to Y/N when she answered her video call at 1pm the following day. Y/N had only just arrived in New York following her drive and she had brought up her boxes and suitcases of belongings to the room. Of course, during this time her phone was ringing none stop, to a point where she had to pull over mid drive to turn her notifications off as the calls from John B, Pope and Kie were relentless.

Y/N did as she asked with a sigh, and a gasp left Kie’s mouth as she looked around and didn’t recognise the unfamiliar room that was filled with carton boxes, clearly confirming what she had struggled to believe for the last few hours.

“JJ was really serious. Y/N what the fuck? What is going on?” She was frantic as she clearly paced around what Y/N could make out to be the chateau living room, until she heard the porch door open and close on the other side of the phone.

“Kie I fucked up. I’m really sorry.” She buried her face in her spare hand as she aggressively wiped her eyes. She was exhausted from the drive, full of anxiety of being away for the first time from home, guilty from her fight with JJ and now her friends were interrogating her – rightfully so. She only had herself to blame for the way she was feeling and she most definitely felt like sabotaging herself and falling into a deep hole of self hatred.

“I don’t understand! You just left? Where even did you go? When are you coming back? Why didn’t you tell us? What happened with JJ last night?” Kie kept throwing questions at her angrily and all Y/N could do was shake her head as she sat down on her bed, feeling like she was fighting a losing battle and she wasn’t sure if she had any more fight left in her today.

“Is that Y/N?” She heard John B’s voice in the background as his face appeared on the screen, with Kie visibly hitting his hand away as he reached for the phone, bombarding her with the same questions. All she could do was kick off her shoes and lie back on the bed that had no bedding on it yet, and allow her friends to take out all her frustration on her, while she cried and said sorry so many times, it didn’t even feel like a real word by the end of it.

The whole situation was bittersweet. On one hand Y/N hated the fact she caused pain and distress to her friends by just leaving them without a word. On the other, she had realised that she was actually loved. More than she ever believed to be, and it made her heart ache each time she thought back to how low she thought of herself previously. Her friends noticed her presence and absence, they counted on her, but they also wanted her to count on them. She was missed from parties and birthdays, people asked after her and reached out to her wishing her good luck and assured her to let them know if she ever visits. She mattered now, but she always mattered before. And it hurt her to realise everything awful and bad she believed about herself was all in her head.

Reconciliation took a bit of time with the others. Pope was the first one to come around, him having left for college the week after Y/N, which of course was common knowledge to the whole group. She wanted to tell him so many times knowing they would share the same feelings and experiences, but she couldn’t bring herself to speak to him before she spoke to JJ. So, she just kept it quiet with him too. He was kind and understanding with her though, and he never gave her much grief for her decision, approaching the situation from a much more comforting and supportive nature, which was a relief Y/N didn’t realise she needed. The two of them met several times throughout her college time as they were only a couple of hours from each other. Having him nearby always filled Y/N with a sense of calm and each time she saw him was easy as it used to be when they lived in the Outer Banks.

Kie and Sarah felt a little betrayed but they both missed their girl, and after a few individual phone calls, they decided to hash it out on a group video chat which ended with a few tears, even more apologies and eventual forgiveness. The girls blamed themselves for making Y/N feel she couldn’t go to them or that she ever believed she didn’t matter. No matter how many times Y/N tried to convince them that her beliefs were in no way a reflection on their actions, they thought if only they tried harder, affirmed her more often, maybe she would have felt more loved. Y/N felt more guilty feeling like they took on the responsibility of her own insecurities, which wasn’t for them to deal with.

John B was a tough nut to crack. He loved Y/N like a little sister but also had his loyalty with JJ as his best friend. He felt betrayed more than any of the friends they shared, because not only was he hurt by being abandoned, he also felt the divide in the group the most. He had to deal with JJ’s silence, screams and angry outbursts, all his drunken confessions and tears, never knowing what emotion he would get each night, having to always be prepared for whatever JJ would throw at him – both metaphorically and physically. All while Y/N would be on the other side of the phone apologising and confessing about her demons that he had never once heard of. To him she was always so sure of herself and self assured, always the girl with the plan, the responsible one, the gentle and caring girl who looked after others. And he hated himself for how he didn’t realise she would need looking after too.

Eventually though, after a few months it all fell back into place as much as it could. The pogues forgave Y/N for her stupidity and allowed her the benefit of the doubt. With time the group conversations grew and became regular, laughing together like the good old days. They sent Y/N and Pope pictures of them hanging out at the boneyard, with red cups in their hands and smiles plastered on their faces. Pope would reply with an image of his bored expression and scattered papers around his bed and Y/N would follow up with a picture of her at Times Square. Reassuring messages would flood the chat during exam season, birthday cards would be photographed after their arrival from the postman and series would be binge watched so they could discuss them together. Although they were physically apart, they managed to still be together. It felt almost normal.

Sometimes Y/N allowed herself to believe it was all ordinary. But each time in a cropped group photo she would see half an arm on that she was convinced she could recognise amongst a thousand others, her heart would skip a beat just for a second. Every time a card would miss his hand writing and signature, every year when his birthday rolled around and she circled the date on her calendar, each time she had a crappy day and wished for a hug from his favourite person, she allowed herself to shed a tear. Because although she was lucky that her other friends forgave her, the pang in her chest from the forgiveness she craved the most never went away.

It was an unspoken agreement that his name would not be brought up. It was difficult to begin with. Sarah or John B would sometimes start telling a funny story of something he said, and they would awkwardly stop in their tracks and divert the conversation elsewhere. But with time, it became routine to leave him out. Y/N was thankful, but at the same time she hated not knowing what he was up to, who he was with, how he was feeling, if he missed her.

It wasn’t always like that though. She was desperate for the first two months. She called him so many times, she was convinced her phone had his number engraved in it. She rang him in the mornings when she woke up, when she had a break from class, when she was upset about something, when she was happy drunk, when she was sad drunk. She sent him follow up texts, begging him to speak to her, telling him she loved him, asking him if he was okay and telling him she wasn’t. Not a single one of her tries every received a response. And when she was really desperate she would try to ask her friends about him or begging them to convince him to speak to her, but as painful it was for them to watch her suffer, they knew better than to tell JJ.

So eventually, Y/N gave up all hope. Her calls seized and messages stopped. She sometimes typed out something she wanted to say, but ended up deleting it. She had many journal entries in her notebook directed to him as a way of healing her soul, but they never really worked. She allowed herself to move on and try to forgive herself, but she knew she would never be able to. She missed him in every fibre of her being, every atom in her body and she had to live with what she destroyed.

And so as she pulled up in front of her childhood home, she was convinced that her and JJ were a lost cause and she wanted nothing more than to be proven otherwise.

She stepped out of her car and she took a moment to observe her childhood home. It had not changed a bit. The front garden was full of pretty flowers as her mum always kept it, the gate was pulled shut but she knew it wasn’t locked. ‘My door is always open’ her mum used to say to all her friends, and it was really true. Anyone who needed a safe haven, knew to go to Y/N’s house, no matter the time of day.

Y/N grabbed her shoulder bag and a suitcase she could easily reach, leaving the rest of her stuff in the boot and back seat for now. She didn’t think she would be able to fit it all in her car before her journey home, having accumulated a lot of bits over her years away, but luckily she was able to take everything she needed with every inch of space used up in the vehicle.

With a smile on her face, she excitedly opened the front gate and walked to her front door. The lights seemed to have been turned off, leaving her slightly confused as she made sure to tell her mother she was coming home today and they even had a phone conversation before her journey.

“Mum?” She called out as she stepped through the door and a small scream left her lips as all her family and friends suddenly jumped out from behind various sofas and cabinets with confetti blowing into the air.

“Surprise!” They all shouted simultaneously, and Y/N covered her mouth as a chuckle bubbled out of her. She observed the ‘Welcome Home’ banner that was hanging off the ceiling, all the pretty cupcakes and bottles of drink on the table and loads of baskets full of snacks.

“This is so sweet! Hi everyone.” She laughed in disbelief as her mother jumped into her embrace, a tear threatening to spill from her eyes as she realised her little girl was finally back with her, in the home she belonged in.

“You drive like a freaking snail! We’ve been here for an hour waiting for you!” John B scorned her while he chuckled and pulled her into an embrace, ruffling her hair teasingly as he did so.

“At least I don’t drive like a criminal.” She spit back with fake annoyance as she accepted his hug happily, giving him a small kiss on the cheek.

“Finally, you’re back! I was so sick of having less girls than boys.” Sarah called out as she rolled her eyes jokingly while near enough jumped on her, completely unaware of the way her words left Y/N frozen on the spot and everyone else glancing amongst themselves awkwardly.

“Shit, I’m sorry. I’m so stupid.” She apologised profusely as she pulled away from the hug and detected the change in atmosphere, realising the words that have caused the tension to thicken the air, almost sucking the oxygen out of it.

“I’m just glad you’re back and can bake us those amazing cupcakes you always make.” Kie called out as she spun her around and jumped around with her, making her giggle and easing the horrible, sticky feeling that overcame the lounge suddenly.

“Well, I’m glad at least my baking was missed.” She pulled Kie in for a hug, who made sure to give her an extra tight squeeze for reassurance.

“Hope you got a good nights rest. These idiots want to throw us a kegger on the beach tonight.” Pope came over accusingly and although truth be told, Y/N wanted nothing more than to crawl in her bed, she would never say no to having a few drinks on the beer with her friends who she hasn’t seen in way too long.

“Well you better help me carry my stuff upstairs then so I can get ready.” She smiled at them all as she crossed her arms in front of her. The boys clapped their hands in achievement as the girls screamed in excitement and they all headed out to her car as they grabbed her belongings and carried them to her room. As she stepped in there for the first time, she felt a sense of unease wash over her with all the memories that came flooding back. But as she was surrounded with so much love, she decided to push it in the back of her mind for now.

The kegger was already roaring when Y/N, Kie and Sarah got down to the beach. They left it to Pope and John B to set up as the three of them got ready at Y/N’s house, with them catching up on anything and everything and played music in the background. Drinks were already flowing at home so they were all flushed and giggly by the time they arrived at the beach, excited to spend their first evening all together.

So many familiar faces greeted Y/N and for the first time, she felt somewhat at ease at the thought of being back in the outer banks. Sure, the alcohol in her veins calmed her nerves slightly, but she still looked around to see if she would spot those familiar blonde locks that she wanted to so badly see and avoid at the same time.

“I need another drink.” She called out to the girls as she grabbed onto Sarah and Kie and led them towards the keg where John B and Pope started waving them over. Without having to ask, the boys filled them a red cup each and made their way towards the bonfire, ready to sit down. The conversation flowed as it always did, as it started with memories and funny stories of the last few years and then slowly spiralled to childhood memories.

Y/N could feel herself sobering up as her cup emptied while she was to engrossed in the conversation, and therefore she made a decision to go and grab another refill. The music seemed to have played quieter and there were less people around than when she arrived, signalling that it might have been later than she realised.

As she filled her cup, she heard a scoff coming from behind her, making her stop in her tracks as her body reacted to the sound before her brain could even process who was standing behind her. Goosebumps ran all down her arms with a shiver crawling down her spine as she spun around in disbelief, her eyes widening at the sight of her most prized possession standing tall over her.

“Well what do we have here?” He smirked down at her evilly, with a hardened gaze and flared nostrils, anger clearly visible on every particle of his being. Y/N gasped at the way he stared at her and although disgust was painting every inch of his face, her first though was ‘he did not change at all’. His hair had gotten a little longer and more scruffy, and if possible he had gotten a couple inches taller, but his eyes were still the same shade of blue, lips the same shape and his cheeks still the same hint of red she adored.

“JJ.” She breathed out, the confirmation of her words hitting her hard, having to slightly pinch her arm subtly to make sure she was not dreaming.

“Look who decided to come back. Got bored of the big city?” He asked, sarcasm lacing his voice and the fake interest apparent in his low, growling tone, but Y/N was willing to look past it all considering he was there and she had his attention.

“What are you doing here?” She asked in shock, feeling stupid at the way she forgot every single thing she wanted to ever say to him suddenly. She fought so hard to be in this position and when she finally gave up, he’s here and she’s a blabbering mess.

“Isn’t it obvious? Here to celebrate you coming home.” He threw his arms up as he motioned around them obnoxiously, his body swaying with the movement of his limbs, clearly showing his level of intoxication, making Y/N frown. She had seen JJ drink before, but never in a state where he could barely stand straight.

“You’re drunk JJ.” She pointed out as she pulled her lips into a tight line and observed the man standing in front of her. She wanted to so badly touch him, feel his skin under her fingertips, but she knew she couldn’t. She didn’t deserve it.

“And you’re a selfish liar.” He slurred as he spat his words at her, before he turned around and walked off, but not before knocking over her cup that she filled up and placed beside the keg, waiting to drink it. She gasped at his words and his action, as the sharpness and the honesty of it made her belly churn in upset. She was paralyzed as she saw him walking off, seeing John B run after him in the distance and the two of them clearly having a heated conversation from the way their bodies moved.

When she regained consciousness after having his figure disappear into the night, she knew there was no point in pretending that she would want to stay over any longer. She felt sick to her stomach, hands clammy and she felt dizzy, wanting nothing more than to disappear to bed. As she walked over to the others to say goodbye, their pained expressions clearly showing her that they had her your interaction with JJ. She tried to play it off with a smile and the excuse of her being too tired as being her reason for leaving, but she knew she couldn’t lie to them. As much as people offered to walk her home, she refused as she wanted to have a moment to think and luckily the beach wasn’t far from her house.

The whole walk home she tried to keep her tears in and her mind from spiralling, but just seeing him in front of her for the first time since the night of their love confessions was sending her into frenzy and panic. She did not expect him to show up, let alone approach her. But it seemed he was just as angry with her as he was three years ago, further paining Y/N into believing they would never make up.

The second she stepped through the door and saw her mother on the sofa, drinking a cup of tea and reading a book, a choked sob escaped her lips, frightening the older woman, but as she looked at her daughter, she just looked at her knowingly and padded the sofa next to her, while holding her arm out for a warm embrace, which Y/N keenly took. She was confused as to why her mother was up so late, but she was to engrossed in her emotions and the gratitude she felt that she was up and there for her to question it.

“He’s never going to forgive me mum.” She sobbed as she desperately held onto her mother who kindly caressed her hair out of her face while swaying her a little, trying to calm her down.

“He’s a stubborn boy Y/N, but he will forgive you eventually.” She tried to comfort her daughter, who just shook her head as she lifted her face away from her and looked into her eyes, feeling so broken and lost.

“You didn’t see the way he looked at me. He hates me.” She sniffed as she tried her best to wipe her tears away as she sat back on the sofa, desperately looking at her mother for advice. Her mum held her hand and gave her a sad smile before a large sigh left her lips.

“He never stopped asking about you, you know that?” She confessed, leaving Y/N confused and interested, raising an eyebrow, signalling for her mother to carry on. She leaned back a little and looked away, reminiscing which she knew meant this would be a long conversation, so she did the same to get herself comfortable.

“I haven’t seen him for a couple of months after you moved.” She started, thinking back to the day three years ago. “But after a bad afternoon with his dad, he ended up on my porch, knocking on my door, crying and desperate for comfort.” She continued, remembering the way he clung to her, just as he used to when they were kids and he was upset. She had always been a second mother to JJ and although he wasn’t hers by birth, she always thought of him as an adopted son, and she loved him just as much as she loved Y/N.

“I have never seen him so distressed Y/N, it was horrible to see. He seemed out of control.” She carried on and Y/N could feel herself on the verge of crying again just from the image painted. They may have drifted apart but the idea of JJ getting hurt by his dad and crying is never one she wants to experience.

“He asked about you then. Why you didn’t tell him or any of the others you were leaving, why you didn’t tell them you applied for college. Honestly, I couldn’t give him a good enough reason apart from the fact that as much as you loved them all, you could never believe how much you meant to them. Even I wish I knew why.” Her mum wiped away a tear fallen from her face as Y/N looked down at her lap embarrassed from the way she acted back then. How she was hurting so much and needed more reassurance, but never once asked for it. She just allowed herself to believe whatever her mind was convincing her of to be true, instead of seeing the full picture.

“Since then we kept in contact, which you knew of course.” She explained, and it was true. Y/N knew that her mum and JJ stayed close after she had moved, and she didn’t expect anything else. JJ grew up with her mother the same way she did, he was family to her and she would never have wanted their relationship to drift. She knew how important her mum was to JJ and he needed an adult figure to support him as a son, when his own family failed him.

“But he asked about you every time I spoke to him. He always wanted to know if you enjoyed college, if you managed to make friends and later on in the year how your friends treated you. He needed to know if you were happy, if you enjoyed your course, how you were doing on your exams. If you had a boyfriend, and he would always smile sweetly when the answer was ‘no’.” Y/N could feel her heart beating fast at her words. She was completely unaware that JJ had ever asked about her, let alone him having this much interest in her. And honestly, for the first time it had filled her with hope and joy that maybe, there was a chance they could kindle what they once had.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” She whispered, wishing she knew about this before. In honesty though, she wasn’t sure the information would have changed anything. Once she stopped calling and messaging him a couple month after she moved, she accepted that he didn’t want her anymore. And she would have been too scared to reach out after all this time.

“The same reason I never told him that you always asked about him.” Her mother shrug her shoulders and Y/N nodded in understanding. Her mother was the middle man between the two, and she had loyalty to both of them.

“He still cares about you just as much as he did three years ago. But you know he’s been let down and abandoned by the most important people in his life, and he never expected you to do that to him. Give him some time. He will come around.” She finished and Y/N couldn’t help but throw herself at her mother, needing one last hug before she said goodnight and headed up to her room.

Taglist and reminders: @mvybanks @i-love-rafe @fulla02reads @leclerc16s @maybankslover @kravitzwhore @delicaties @holy-macncheese-balls @starkeylover @kikixdee @dreamingwithrafe @m-indkiller @princessbl0ss0m

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my brain holds too many poisons

Pairing: JJ Maybank x Kook!Reader

Warnings: drinking, jj gets drunk and stupid twice, reader's boyfriend sucks

Words: 10K (holy shit)

A/N: Officially my longest fic !! i'm really happy with this one, I've had this song stuck in my head for weeks crafting this fic!! shoutout to two of my closest friends for giving me a bunch of ideas for this :D

(this is a songfic by the way!)

I called you with a few too many drinks in me

Saying JJ was drunk would be an understatement. It was nearing the end of a kegger thrown down at the Boneyard, and he was definitely more than a few drinks deep at this point. The entire night, he’d kept an eye out, looking over the crowd and scanning it every so often just to make sure he didn’t miss you.

You, however, skipped out on the party tonight. Instead, you were spending the night with your new boyfriend, Roman, who JJ openly despised. He was another snobby rich kid from Figure Eight that wasn’t good enough for someone like you.

JJ knew it wasn’t his place to judge who you were dating when he couldn’t even man up enough to ask you out, but he couldn’t help but remind you as often as he could that Roman didn’t deserve you. You brushed him off every time, always coming up with some excuse for him that JJ didn’t believe.

The thought of you skipping out on him to stay with your boyfriend made JJ feel sick, and it wasn’t long before he was pulling his phone out, calling you before he could think better of it.

Well, at least you didn't answer

When you didn’t answer, his heart sank to the floor. He didn’t like the thought of you being alone with him. As much as you constantly assured him that he was a good guy, that he cared about you, JJ knew guys like him all too well.

Your voicemail rang through his ears, and he couldn’t help the smile pulling at his lips at the sound of your voice. It distracted him long enough that there was suddenly a loud beep, flustering him as his voicemail began.

“Oh shit,” He blinked, not prepared to actually leave you a message. “Uh, hey sweetheart. Shit- I didn’t mean to call you that-”

John B, who had been staying relatively sober the whole night so he could drive everyone to his house once the party died down, noticed JJ off to the side, muttering something on the phone. It must’ve been some sixth sense John B had for knowing whenever JJ was doing something stupid, but he instantly excused himself from his conversation and started making his way toward his best friend.

“I just- I really think you’re better than that asshole. I know you hate when I say that shit, but he really doesn’t deserve you. You’re bright, and- and you can cheer anyone up just by being around them. You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen and I just need you to know that. I need you to know that you deserve better than him. I would treat you better than he does. I know I would. I love you, Y/N, I love you so much.”

At this point, John B reached JJ, pulling the phone away from his ear and quickly hanging up, shoving the phone in his shorts pocket before JJ could do any more damage.

“What are you doing?” John B asked now that JJ’s attention was on him.

“Was just callin’ Y/N.” He answered, a slight slur in his speech that made John B understand how bad of an idea that was.

John B sighed, putting an arm around JJ, and quickly guiding him in the direction of the Twinkie. “Let’s get you home, big guy.”

Woke up, prayed to God it was only a dream

JJ woke up, immediately feeling the pain of the killer hangover he had. Forcing himself to sit up in the bed he didn’t remember stumbling into the night before, he looked around the room. It didn’t take long to realize he was in the guest room at the Chateau, the room that had become unofficially his after so many years of friendship with John B.

His head was still pounding as he tried to piece together what had happened the night before. Instinctively, he reached for where his phone would be on the nightstand, confused to find it wasn’t there.

That’s when the memories started to come back to him.

He was drunk. He was wasted. He tried calling you. You didn’t answer. He said he loved you. He said he loved you.

“Oh, fuck.” He dropped his throbbing head into his hands, rubbing his temples. “Oh, I’m so fucked.”

You were in the shower when JJ called you the night before, and your boyfriend was the one to notice your phone buzzing where you’d left it on the bed. He didn’t answer, of course he didn’t, not when JJ was the one calling, he instead watched it ring. It wasn’t until he noticed JJ left a voicemail that his interest was piqued.

Glancing in the direction of the bathroom, he could still hear the shower running. Quickly, he reached to grab your phone, typing in the passcode.

You told him your passcode offhandedly one day when you asked him to respond to a text from Kiara while you were driving, and he remembered it ever since. He told himself it was just in case, and as he listened to JJ’s voicemail, he convinced himself he was doing this out of love.

His fists clenched when he heard JJ’s confession. It was obvious he was drunk, but Roman knew hearing this would ruin everything. It would destroy the relationship he worked so hard to build.

By the time he finished the voicemail, he heard you turn the shower off, hurriedly deleting the voicemail before tossing your phone back on the bed.

Well, at least I took my chances

JJ trudged out of the bedroom, seeing John B cooking breakfast, along with Kiara and Pope still fast asleep on either side of the pullout couch.

“Morning, sunshine.” John B chuckled, giving JJ a look. “How’s the headache?”

“Fuck off.” JJ groaned, peering at what John B was cooking. He reached forward, plucking a strip of freshly cooked bacon off the plate they’d been set on, dodging John B swatting at him with the spatula.

“Your phone’s on the table.” John B said, pointing halfheartedly to the kitchen table.

JJ groaned again, not wanting to be reminded of the consequences of him calling you.

“Hey, at least you finally took your chances.” John B couldn’t help but laugh, earning a light smack on the arm from JJ.

“Shut up, dude.”

When JJ picked up his phone, he swore his heart stopped when he saw a text from you.

When you got out of the shower, you threw some pajamas on and walked back into the bedroom, your boyfriend was giving you an unreadable look.

“What?” You asked, trying to smile at him, your grin faltering when he didn’t react.

“JJ called you.” His tone was flat, and you tilted your head in confusion.

“Okay…? Is he alright? Did he need a ride home, or…?” Your mind wandered to JJ at the party. He was no doubt drunk out of his mind, and you were worried he’d gone and gotten himself hurt. Surely someone would’ve had his back, you knew the rest of the pogues were at the party as well.

Roman sighed heavily in a way that made you tense. “I think you should keep your distance from him.”

Your jaw dropped. “What? What the fuck are you talking about?”

When he stood up, you immediately shut your mouth despite the firm look you were still giving him.

“He’s my friend, Roman.” You insisted, though your voice was much quieter now.

“He wants to jeopardize our relationship.” His voice was low, and the way he stepped closer to you almost felt threatening.

“He- what?” JJ would never do that. You knew he didn’t approve of your boyfriend, he made that very clear, but would he actually try to jeopardize your relationship?

“Just- here.” He grabbed your phone off the bed, shoving it in your hand. You took it hesitantly, still giving him a confused look. “Just text him. Tell him you’re not gonna speak to him again.”

“What?!” You looked up at him, mouth agape in shock. He couldn’t be serious, right?

When his face darkened, you gripped your phone just a bit tighter. “He wants to ruin our relationship. You’re gonna have to make a choice here.”

Part of you wanted to keep arguing, to say that you could talk to JJ, that you would sort it out. But something in the look in Roman’s eyes made you nod, backing down.

“Okay. I’ll text him.”

You said you never wanted to speak again

“She text you?” John B asked, not looking up from the eggs he was cooking.

JJ didn’t respond, still staring down at the text.

Please don’t speak to me anymore.

“JJ?” John B glanced up at him before scraping the eggs onto a plate, walking over to see the phone.

JJ moved so John B could see it, still saying nothing. The silence hung in the air for a while before John B spoke again.

“Holy shit.”

JJ sighed, tossing his phone back onto the table with a loud enough clatter that it startled Kiara and Pope from their sleep, looking between him and John B with furrowed brows. Kiara opened her mouth to tell him off for waking her up before noticing the tension in the room.

“Dude, it’s probably not that bad.” John B tried to say, but JJ grimaced.

“Not that bad? I fucked everything up!” He resisted the urge to hit something, pacing back and forth in the room clenching and unclenching his fists.

“Can someone please explain what the hell is going on?” Kiara spoke up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

“JJ drunk dialed Y/N last night and told her he’s in love with her.”

“Dude!” JJ snapped, glaring at John B. He shrugged back lamely, mouthing an apology.

“Is that not what happened?” John B asked under his breath, grabbing a couple plates of food and handing them off to Kiara and Pope.

“She’s got a boyfriend, man,” Pope said through a bite of food.

JJ rubbed a hand over his eyes, sighing heavily. “Yeah, Pope. Thanks. I’m well aware of that.”

Kiara stretched forward, grabbing JJ’s phone off the table to see the text. Pope leaned close to her, peering over her shoulder to read it as well.

“Oh.” She cringed, setting the phone back on the table with a pitying look. “Yeah, that’s… not great.”

“Thanks, Kie,” JJ said dryly, shooting her a halfhearted glare. “Real helpful.

“Maybe you can reason with her?” She said, taking a bite of food. “I mean, this’ll all blow over in like a week, I’m sure.”

I was never one to listen

The next morning, you’d barely finished getting ready for the day when you felt your phone buzzing on the table you set it down on. Roman looked up from his spot on your bed, eyeing you before turning his gaze to your phone.

“I can answer that.” He said, standing.

You almost mindlessly agreed until you saw the contact name.

JJ Maybank.

“Wait- Uh, I’ll get it.” You caught the look Roman gave you as you grabbed your phone, shrinking in on yourself. “I’ll just- I’ll tell him to leave me alone.”

The words felt bitter on your tongue, but you couldn’t bring yourself to stand up to Roman. It wasn’t that your boyfriend was a bad person, he was just… protective. And he seemed to know something you didn’t about JJ wanting to ruin your relationship, so maybe you should just believe him.

With a sigh, unsure of if you actually believed him or if you were just trying to convince yourself of the fact, you answered the call and brought your phone to your ear.

“JJ-”

“Hey! Holy shit, I didn’t think you’d answer! Uh, listen-” JJ started talking quickly, trying to explain, but the longer you stayed silent, the more you could feel the tension coming from your boyfriend.

“Please don’t call me, JJ.” Despite how weak you felt your voice was, it instantly made JJ fall silent.

You hung up without another word, exhaling shakily, trying with all your might to ignore the reality of what you’d done. Even a month ago if you were told to not speak to JJ, you would’ve laughed in their face. Things felt so different now, and it made you feel sick.

“Thank you.” Roman smiled at you, but the grin on his face resembled that of a shark.

You felt your phone buzzing, still in your hand. JJ was calling you again. Quickly, you shut it off, shoving it in your back pocket, forcing yourself to return Roman’s smile.

And it's fine, just wish you'd get out of my head

JJ had never gone this long without seeing you, not since the two of you became friends. It had been a little over two weeks since you last spoke to him, and he felt like he was going insane. You hadn’t hung out with the pogues since before that fateful night. They never stopped reaching out, though, telling you every plan they made just in case you decided to show.

Your response was always the same: Sorry! I’m hanging with Roman tonight. Another time!

JJ tried to play it off like he was fine, like he didn’t care. Still, every time Kiara would text you to ask if you could make it only to get a measly text apologizing for missing out, everyone could see the way JJ’s face fell. Whenever they met up, he counted the heads, heart sinking just a little when he saw you weren’t there. Everyone saw the way his grin faltered when your name was mentioned, or the way his attention snapped to anyone that looked a little too much like you, sounded a little too much like you, or laughed a little too much like you.

Every time JJ found himself surrounded by his best friends, he couldn’t help but notice the empty seat that was always left open – a silent agreement to keep it available just in case. It stayed empty every time, though, and JJ was never able to take his eyes off it.

Well, you never did

It was another party. Being deep in the throes of Summer, there were new parties nearly every night, and the pogues joined more than half the time. Tonight was unlike any other, and everyone was piling into the Twinkie for a kegger.

JJ pulled his flask out of his shorts pocket, taking a quick swig as John B parked outside the beach, the rest of the pogues clambering out of the van the second the car stopped moving. John B tossed the keys to Pope, who had agreed to be the designated driver for the night. The pogues often took turns, with the exception of JJ, who recently had gotten into a habit of getting as drunk as possible to drown out any thoughts of you any chance he could get.

It wasn’t long before the group had a few drinks, with JJ being much further gone than anyone else. The pogues were keeping a worried eye on him, exchanging looks with each other every time he went to grab another drink.

JJ was leaning against a tree now, only half listening to the conversation between John B and Pope when he noticed you a good distance away. Your boyfriend was a few feet away from you, and JJ couldn’t help but notice the fact that you clearly weren’t getting the attention you deserved.

JJ could feel his heart beat just a little faster at the sight of you, sat on a log and watching your boyfriend talk to his friends. Roman wasn’t even looking at you, and JJ could see the way your face fell at the lack of attention. He knows you’re so much better than that asshole, but he also knows he can’t be the one to tell you that.

Not anymore.

Still, JJ isn’t able to take his eyes off of you, and as he downed another drink, he barely acknowledged whatever question Pope was asking him.

My brain holds too many poisons

JJ nearly winced at the sight of you. He knew he could treat you better. He knew you deserved to be treated like royalty, and all Roman saw you as was arm candy.

“JJ?” He turned at the sound of Pope’s voice, not bothering to mask the annoyance on his face. “You okay?”

“I’m fine.” JJ waved him off, looking back to you and the way you were sitting on the edge of your seat to watch Roman chat with his friends. You were trying so hard to seem like you were enjoying yourself, but JJ had always known you better. He can see every movement of yours, awkwardly fiddling with your hands in your lap, glancing around the crowd every so often, and the forced smile on your face that didn’t quite reach your eyes. It was always the little things that JJ noticed about you, that your boyfriend would never bother to care about.

Suddenly, JJ stands, ignoring the looks from John B and Pope. Kiara had disappeared from the group a while ago, mingling with some people she’d met a few times before.

“I’m getting another drink.”

He pushed through the crowd, weaving past drunk teenagers until he got to the keg of beer, refilling his solo cup.

“How many drinks does this make?” Kiara’s voice made him spin around, facing her with a forced smile.

“Lost track.” He raised the cup, tapping it against her own. “Cheers.”

She gives him a firm look, one of her hands on her waist. “I think you’ve had enough.”

JJ shook his head, walking beside her in the direction of where Pope and John B were still standing. “Not yet.”

Kiara exchanged worried looks with the boys when they finally approached before making herself comfortable, taking a seat next to John B.

Loud laughter and cheering from afar pulled JJ’s attention away from his friends, glancing over and seeing your boyfriend in the middle of a game of beer pong with his kook friends. JJ rolled his eyes, the story Kiara started telling going entirely unnoticed while he stared down your boyfriend, taking another swig from his solo cup.

They helped me make the wrong choices

“Hey,” Pope reached a hand out, tapping JJ on the arm a few times to get him to look away from Roman. “Are you even paying attention?”

JJ leans away from Pope, lazily hitting his hand away. He looked at Pope for only a moment, making a face at him before turning his focus back to you.

You were sat with your hands still in your lap, wearing an outfit that JJ knew you well enough to know you were uncomfortable in. Your boyfriend wasn’t far off, still hard at work in his game of beer pong.

John B took note of his friend’s distraction now, following JJ’s gaze and sighing to himself when he saw you. “JJ, don’t do anything you’re gonna regret.”

JJ didn’t respond. He was still focused on the way you were looking at Roman. You had reached up at this point, fiddling with the necklace you were wearing absentmindedly. The same necklace JJ bought you for your birthday almost two years ago. It tugged at his heartstrings to know that you were still wearing it, but he wasn’t surprised. You’d worn it every day since JJ bought it for you, of course you still had it on.

When you stood up, JJ tensed, watching you step toward Roman. You placed a gentle hand on his arm, trying to whisper something to him. Without even looking in your direction, Roman nudged you away from him, muttering something JJ couldn’t hear that made you frown.

The dejected look on your face was enough to have JJ downing the rest of his drink, handing the empty cup off to John B, ignoring the pogues calling after him.

We all make stupid mistakes sometimes

Before JJ could think better of what he was doing, he was storming across the beach, sand kicking up under his feet. There was something in the way your gaze softened looking at Roman despite how much he was ignoring you that made his chest feel tight. You didn’t deserve that. You may not want to talk to him, but he needed you to know you deserved better.

“Hey!” JJ’s voice made Roman’s head snap up to him, along with each of his friends. You looked up as well, eyes wide when you saw how quickly JJ was approaching.

You were the only one who wasn’t staring JJ down like he was their next target.

Roman gave JJ a lazy smile that looked more like a grimace. “JJ Maybank. What can I do for you?”

JJ stopped right in front of him, the alcohol in his system mixing with the rage he felt boiling over. “You too good to pay attention to your girlfriend all of a sudden?”

Roman blinked, his eyes darkening as he glanced at you with a look you couldn’t quite decipher before he looked back to JJ. He stepped closer, trying to intimidate JJ with the few inches he had above him, despite not having the strength that JJ had.

“What did you say?”

The beer pong game had now been officially paused, and every kook in the area was watching JJ’s every move. Everyone was on edge, waiting for the pogue to do something worthy of jumping him.

As if they ever needed a reason.

“You heard me.” JJ sneered, his jaw clenching. “Too good to pay attention to your girlfriend?”

But I make them more than most

When Roman grabbed the front of JJ’s shirt, he swore he heard you gasp. He pulled JJ close to him, breathing heavily.

“Walk away, Maybank.” He said through gritted teeth, glaring down at JJ. The crowd around them was growing by the second, and it was almost entirely kooks. There was hardly anyone around that would jump to his defense. He started to wonder if you would jump to his defense, or your boyfriend’s.

JJ glanced toward you, realizing with a start that for the first time in weeks, your full attention was on him, and it only encouraged him further.

Turning back to Roman, he couldn’t hold back the smirk on his face. “Or what?”

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw you stand up, nervously hovering near the interaction in case anything happened. It made JJ wonder again who you were more worried about.

If he got hurt would you go to him? Or would you let Roman drag you away from him again?

“Or we’ll escort you out of here.” A kook that had been playing beer pong piped up, earning a glare from JJ.

“Did I ask you?” JJ took a few steps in his direction, momentarily forgetting the grasp Roman had on his shirt until he stopped him.

“I think you should go back to your own turf,” Roman said, leaning down to talk right in JJ’s ear, quiet enough that only he could hear him. “Pogue.”

And it's my fault that I live my life

The sound of JJ’s fist colliding with Roman’s jaw instantly incited chaos within the crowd. Kooks were on JJ within a second, but all of his focus was stuck on Roman. The punch sent him stumbling to the ground, but he was quick to rally, jumping back up and throwing a punch that almost knocked JJ off balance.

“JJ!” Your voice was muffled by the ringing in his ears, but he couldn’t shake the knowledge that you were worried about him.

You cared. You care.

JJ rolled his head back, planting his feet and glaring at Roman, who was cocky enough that he let the other kooks let him go, calling for a fair fight.

He knew most of these kooks worked out like it was their only hobby – in all honesty, it probably was, but he also knew better than anyone that strength is useless if you don’t know how to fight.

And JJ knows how to fight.

He took a deep breath, his fists clenching and unclenching for a moment before he lunged forward, ducking to avoid another hit from Roman, tackling him into the sand.

Running away from ghosts

Once he had Roman on the ground, JJ hovered above him, hitting him again.

The kooks surrounding them were screaming now, and a few of them tried to pull him up off of Roman. He shook them off, raising his fist again.

“Just like your old man, aren’t you?” Roman’s voice was weak, but it made JJ freeze.

While the crowd continued to yell and scream and cheer, JJ couldn’t hear a damn thing other than his own heartbeat, the only thing repeating in his head – just like your old man, aren’t you?

JJ saw red, bringing his fist down again and again, deaf to the crowd around him.

He didn’t see the kooks staring at him in fear, didn’t see the few pogues in the crowd whispering, didn’t see you standing at the front of the crowd, jaw agape as you watched this happen.

Word was spreading quickly through the party, whispers of the pogue beating the shit out of a kook rippling throughout the Boneyard and eventually, everyone at the party was aware of what was happening.

By the time Kiara, Pope, and John B got wind of what the crowd was surrounding, there were so many people they could barely get through to get to JJ.

Too many skeletons

Roman managed to shove JJ off, causing him to fall backwards into the sand. He caught your eye for just a moment, distracting him long enough that Roman was able to land a solid punch.

The look in your eyes made JJ’s stomach churn nauseatingly, and he swore seeing you that terrified was more painful than the punch itself. He couldn’t decipher who you were actually worried about, but when he saw Roman reeling back to hit him again, he knew he didn’t have the time to worry about it.

Rolling to the side, he barely managed to dodge Roman’s fist. When he missed, it made Roman tumble forward, giving JJ the opportunity to clamber to his feet.

The kooks steered clear of JJ this time, no one daring to interfere now. Still, he could hear the kooks egging Roman on when JJ wiped the fresh blood dripping from the cut on his lip.

Despite himself, he looked at you once more.

The fear in your eyes made him tense, but you still didn’t look away from him. It made him realize that ever since the fight began, you’d only been looking at him.

Too hard to keep them in the closet where they've been

He looked at you long enough to see your head shake just slightly, but before he could respond, Roman was knocking him to the ground. He felt another hit to the face, dizzying him for a moment before he shoved Roman to the side, hard enough that JJ was able to climb up and land another punch to the face.

He hit him hard, noticing a few spots of blood staining the sand around them.

The pain stinging his face and knuckles was getting harder to ignore, but he wasn’t one to back away from a fight. Especially from a kook who deserved to get a few teeth knocked in.

“Roman, don’t-” Your voice rang out, just before he noticed Roman’s hand closing around an empty beer bottle.

He brought it over JJ’s head, and JJ just barely reacted in time, throwing his hands up to block it, wincing when it shattered over his arms.

“JJ!” He heard you shriek. He almost felt proud in a sickening way, that it was his name you called out, that it was him you were worried about, that it was him you wanted to be okay.

We all make stupid mistakes sometimes

JJ dropped his hands from in front of his face, vaguely aware of the cuts along his arms from the shards of glass. He wanted to look at you, wanted to see how you were feeling.

More than anything, he wanted to hold you.

But still, Roman was glaring up at him, and JJ had to lurch back to avoid getting hit across the face. Quickly, JJ brought a hand back, ready to hit him again.

Before he could, though, two arms wrapped around him and dragged him up to his feet. He struggled instinctively, before realizing it was only John B. His brows were furrowed, and he was going off on him, lecturing him about something he couldn’t process with his heartbeat still loud in his ears and adrenaline still flowing in his veins.

He dragged JJ away from the scene, shoving past kooks that were sneering at the two of them, and continuing to scold him.

You're the one that I miss the most

He looked back only one time while John B was dragging him off to the Twinkie, his breath catching in his throat when he saw you. You were gently lifting Roman to his feet, running a hand over a cut on his cheek like you’d done so often to JJ.

It made his chest burn to know you weren’t his.

John B sat JJ in the passenger seat of the Twinkie, and only then did JJ see Kiara and Pope also trailing behind them, now climbing into the van after him.

No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get you out of his head. The image of you staring at him in horror was burned into his mind. Over and over, he could hear you calling his name, the way your voice cracked when you were terrified for him.

Worst of all, he couldn’t stop thinking of how quickly you went to Roman the second the fight was over.

Pope gave him a concerned look every minute or so while he drove to the Chateau. Everyone knew how uncharacteristic it was for JJ to be so quiet, but no one wanted to bring up what had just happened.

He was spiraling, and everyone knew it. Even him.

JJ pulled his phone out, sending you a text before he could stop himself.

I saw that a text I sent was left on read

Once they got to the Chateau, John B followed JJ into the guest room, dipping quickly into the bathroom to grab the first aid kit on the way there.

“You’re an idiot.” John B’s tone was harsh, and he set the first aid kit on the nightstand, disappearing for less than a minute to wet a cloth and appearing back in the room to start cleaning up his wounds.

“I know.” JJ’s voice was hoarse, and he was so resigned that John B almost faltered. He thought JJ would still be defensive, and it would lead to an argument.

There was nothing left from JJ, though. He was like a walking corpse, just running on autopilot with the knowledge that you were gone for good.

JJ pulled his phone back out, looking at the text he sent you from the car.

I’m sorry.

You read it a little over ten minutes ago.

He couldn’t stop thinking about all the times he’d gone to you after a fight. You would always chastise him for getting hurt or getting in a fight in the first place, but you were always impossibly gentle.

Gentle in a way John B wasn’t. In a way he couldn’t be. Because no matter how carefully John B tried to help him, he still wasn’t you.

“Ow, dude!” JJ swatted John B’s hand away from his face when he dragged over a cut a little too harshly, grabbing the wet cloth from him. “Jesus, I’ll do it myself.”

Well, I guess I get the message

John B sighed, dropping his head in disappointment before looking back up at him, a stern look on his face.

“Fine. I’ll leave you be. But jesus, JJ, you have to get your shit together.”

JJ nodded, watching John B leave without another word, closing the door to the bedroom a little harder than usual.

Taking a deep breath, JJ stared back down at his phone.

Then he threw it across the room.

It landed on the carpet, rolling a few times before finally stopping. Luckily, it was unharmed, but that still didn’t quell JJ’s anger.

He stood from his spot on the bed, running a hand through his hair, cursing to himself.

“What the fuck, JJ? What the fuck is wrong with you?” He muttered, pacing from one end of the room to the other.

How could he be so stupid? Why did he have to call you that night? Why did he have to ruin everything?

JJ finally dropped back into the bed, fighting back the harsh tears stinging in his eyes. His energy was entirely sapped, and the damp cloth John B was using to clean up his wounds had gone long forgotten on the nightstand beside the still unopened first aid kit.

I lied when I said I really loved your friends

After carefully guiding Roman away from the crowd and inside, you could still hear your friends talking about what happened. You used the term friends loosely, as they were mostly people you knew through Roman, most of which you’d only spoken to a few times.

Now that you set Roman down on a couch, you were staring down at the text JJ just sent you when you happened to overhear the conversation happening behind you.

“I mean, he’s just out of control!” A girl you’d spoken to maybe three times had said. Her name was Mandi, you caught the way she was looking at your boyfriend the whole night. It didn’t hurt as much as you thought it would.

“I know!” Another girl spoke up. She’d introduced herself to you earlier, but you couldn’t remember her name for the life of you. “It’s no surprise though, those pogues are insane!”

You stiffened. They were talking about JJ. Your JJ.

“Well, it’s no shocker, right? Have you seen his dad? He spends so much time locked up, of course he raised someone like that!”

You turned, momentarily forgetting your boyfriend and the bruises all over his face.

JJ had always been polite when you had to sneak off to hang out with the kooks. When you called them your friends, JJ never said anything about it, even though you could see how little he trusted them. You knew better than anyone how much JJ hated them, but he never slandered them to you, all he would do is carefully remind you of your worth.

That’s always what he’d done. Remind you of your worth. And you were worth more than this.

Well, I never did

“Can you just shut up?” The words spilled from your lips before you could catch them, and suddenly everyone was staring at you.

“Excuse me?” One of the girls gives you a look, expecting you to back down the instant you got any pushback.

“Don’t tell me you’re defending the guy that beat the shit out of your boyfriend.” Another said, and you briefly remembered where you were, who you were surrounded by. You cast a guilty look to Roman, who was still sat on the couch, now glaring harshly at you.

“I-” Your brain felt scrambled, trapped between your best friends and the group of kooks staring at you. “JJ’s my friend.”

The girls exchanged looks, holding back a laugh. You took a step away from them, beginning to realize that you’ve been more worried about JJ than Roman this whole time.

For a moment, you remembered the day JJ pulled you aside to remind you how much better than these kooks you were. You tried to brush him off, but he wouldn’t let you. He kept his hands on your shoulders until he felt like he’d cemented the fact that you deserved better in your mind.

“You know what?” Your voice sounded much stronger than you felt. “You’re all assholes.”

With that, you spun around, heading towards the door. For a second, you weren’t sure of where you were going, but the destination was engrained deep within your soul.

My brain holds too many poisons

Just before you could get to the door, you felt a hand on your arm, pulling you back.

“Y/N.” Roman’s voice was tight, holding back a deep anger. “Don’t leave.”

Looking up at him, you hesitated. His eye was swollen, and there was a cut on his cheek with a dark bruise forming along his jaw. When he opened his mouth, you could see blood faintly staining his teeth.

“JJ’s my friend.” You repeated, keeping your voice even.

“Well, your friend just attacked me.” He kept his hand on your arm, tightening his grip a little more. “I can’t believe you’re still defending him after what he did, you’re insane!”

You were too conflicted. Sure, it hurt seeing him like this, but you couldn’t shake the worry you had for JJ. It was a worry you couldn’t shake after being the one to clean him up after a fight so many times.

“I’m not-” You stopped, taking a breath to collect your thoughts.

“Not what? He’s just trying to ruin our relationship, why can’t you see that?” The way he raised his voice made you flinch back, eyes wide with shock. “He’s always been trying to ruin us, ever since- ever since he left you that stupid voicemail!”

They helped me make the wrong choices

Every part of your body tensed up, staring at him.

“What voicemail?”

It felt like something was happening around you, like there was something big looming just behind you but you couldn’t see it yet.

Roman hesitated, his grip on your arm loosening enough that you could pull away. “I didn’t mean-”

“What voicemail, Roman?” It felt like you were outside of your own body watching this happen. Your voice felt distant, as if you weren’t the one speaking.

“Nothing.” He reached out for your hand, growing exasperated. The way he tried to grab you felt performative, like he was trying to play the part of the perfect boyfriend. “Let’s just talk, okay? In private.” He glanced for a moment at the group of girls still standing nearby, whispering while they stared the two of you down.

All he cared about was his reputation.

You took a step back, your brows furrowing. “No.”

“No?” He looked at you, the possessive tone making your stomach churn. “Y/N. Let’s talk.”

Another few steps and you’d be at the door. You could leave right now if you wanted.

But you needed answers.

“What. Voicemail.” You asked again, twisting your arm away from him when he tried to grab it.

We all make stupid mistakes sometimes

Roman sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“That night he called you. He left a voicemail.” He started to explain, not looking at you.

“No, he didn’t.” You looked at him, confused, taking another step away from him. “No, he- I didn’t see a voicemail. He didn’t leave a voicemail.”

Still refusing to look at you, Roman shook his head.

“That’s cause I deleted it.”

And the ball drops.

You stared at him for a long time, feeling your world turning upside down in real time. A trust broken forever in the blink of an eye.

“How did you even-” You whispered, taking another step back. Just a few more and you’d be gone.

“You told me your phone password a few months ago.” Despite the guilt in his tone, when he finally met your gaze, he looked at you as if it was your fault. As if you should take the blame for daring to trust him.

Your mind jumped to every moment you let him borrow your phone, every moment you gave it to him for safekeeping, every moment you trusted him.

But I make them more than most

“We’re done.” You said, taking a final step back. You were at the door now, resting a hand on the handle.

“No, wait-” He rushed towards you, pulling on your wrist. “Please, hear me out.”

“Hear you out?” Your voice was louder than you expected, and if stragglers from the party weren’t staring at you already, they definitely were now. “You looked through my phone?”

You couldn’t believe this. You felt like your head was spinning. Pulling away, you threw the door open, storming outside, hearing his footsteps following just behind you.

“It was just to see what the voicemail said! I swear, I just- I did it 'cause I love you!”

You froze.

Neither of you had said those words yet.

Spinning around, you glared at him, desperately trying to ignore the tears welling up in your eyes. “No, you don’t!”

He caught up to you almost immediately, putting both hands on your shoulders. “I swear, I just did it 'cause I didn’t want you to get all confused. I know you used to have feelings for him…”

Used to?

“What did he say?” You asked, forcing yourself not to look away from him.

“Please-”

“What. Did. He. Say.” His touch on your shoulders was making you feel sick, but you didn’t pull away. Not yet.

“He- he said he loved you. Kept going on about how I wasn’t treating you right, that he would treat you better-”

“He’s right.” Finally pulling away, you gave him as firm of a look as you could manage with tears in your eyes.

And it's my fault that I live my life

“I can’t believe you.” Your voice cracked as you spoke, turning away from him and walking away from the beach. The party had almost entirely died down by now, but you could still feel every eye on you as you stormed away from Roman, wiping angry tears from your eyes.

He called after you, but you refused to turn around. Your mind had already shifted to the thought of JJ, wondering if he was okay.

You walked past a few groups of people before you finally made it out of the sand, reaching the street.

Faintly, you could still hear him calling after you, begging you to reconsider and give him a second chance. His voice sounded desperate like he was starting to cry.

Sniffling, you wiped away another tear that slipped down your cheek.

You still didn’t turn around.

Running away from ghosts

The Chateau wasn’t very far from the party, but it was still a bit of a walk. Long enough that the times you’d wanted to walk back, JJ never let you go alone.

You sighed at the memory, kicking a rock as you took another step.

It didn’t help that after five minutes, you felt a droplet of water hit you. It was starting to rain.

Still, you continued on, the thought of JJ sitting alone in the guest room of the Chateau only encouraging you further. Logically, you knew he could reach out to John B, Pope, or Kiara if he wanted to. But you also knew he wouldn’t. He had a tendency to shut down, pushing people away in his worst moments.

You walked right past his house, knowing better than to check to see if he was even home. Especially after a party, there was no way he’d be going home like that.

The rain continued to fall, growing quickly from a small drizzle into pouring rain. It didn’t take long for your clothes to be soaked through before you even made it halfway to the house.

Too many skeletons

As you trudged down the street, you couldn’t help but think about JJ. You’d been avoiding him and the pogues for weeks. You knew they weren’t stupid enough to know you were pushing them away, saying no every time they wanted to hang out with you. Part of you worried he wouldn’t even want to see you again, but you couldn’t let it happen. You needed to talk to him again.

The last time you hung out with JJ alone felt like years ago. Sure, you’d hung out with the pogues and he’d been there, but you and JJ hadn’t hung out just the two of you in forever.

He snuck in through your window – you started keeping a ladder by it just in case ever since the second time he showed up unannounced. He brought snacks and sat next to you in your bed while you watched movies for hours.

Despite the rain and the tears streaming down your face, you smiled at the memory before your face quickly fell, remembering just how long ago it was. It happened about a week before you started dating Roman. A week before your relationship with JJ got tense and distant.

How could you be so stupid? How could you let Roman ruin everything?

Another tear slipped down your face, mixing with the rain.

Too hard to keep them in the closet where they've been

After a while, you looked up, seeing the Chateau in the distance. You picked up your pace, a newfound energy in you once your destination was in sight.

The lights were on, and through one of the windows, you could see someone moving around. Squinting, you noticed it couldn’t be JJ. The movements were too casual, and the silhouette wasn’t quite right.

“John B,” You whispered, running a hand over your face to wipe off some of the rainwater that covered you.

When you got closer, you saw Kiara and Pope sitting outside on the covered porch. They immediately halted their conversation when they saw you, staring wide-eyed.

“Uh,” You walked up the steps, facing them nervously. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Kiara gave you a tight smile, glancing at Pope, the two having a silent conversation.

“How’s Roman’s face?” Pope asked, earning another look from Kiara.

“He’s… I don’t know, I-” You stopped, having so much you wanted to say, but you couldn’t form a coherent sentence. After a moment, you took a shaky breath. “I kinda just broke up with him.”

“Oh shit.” Pope leaned forward in his seat.

“You did? Oh my god.” You could tell from the look in Kiara’s eyes that her first thought was JJ. She was the first one you told about how in love with him you were, after all.

There was a beat of silence, where none of you knew what to say.

“He’s, uh, he’s inside,” Kiara said quietly, nodding towards the house.

You nodded, turning away from them to knock at the door.

We all make stupid mistakes sometimes

You heard immediate shuffling once you knocked at the door.

It wasn’t long before John B pulled the door open, freezing when he saw you.

“Can I see him?” You asked, not even realizing you were still shivering from the rain.

“Uh,” He glanced behind him, craning his neck to look down the hall to the guest room where the door was still shut.

“Please.” John B looked back at you, seeing the desperation in your eyes.

“Yeah. He’s in his room.”

He stepped aside and you walked into the Chateau. The instant you were inside, you felt the memories flooding back to you. It was painful, realizing that you were pushing your best friends away.

“Need a towel?” John B’s voice brought you out of your daze. “You’re kinda-” He gestured vaguely to you, shivering and soaked to the bone.

You had half a mind to say no, wanting nothing more than to beeling to the guest room to see JJ. Still, John B was already grabbing a towel, tossing it into your arms.

Quickly, you wiped it over your face, drying off as much as you could. You were still freezing, but you felt slightly better.

“Thank you.” Carefully, you set the towel down, now looking down the hallway where the guest room was.

At first, your steps were slow, but by the time you reached the door, you were practically running.

You're the one that I miss the most

You burst through the door, freezing in your tracks when you saw JJ.

He was sat at the head of the bed, covering his face with his hands, not looking up at you. His hair was messed up, and you could clearly see the bruises and cuts along his knuckles, still fresh from the fight. You didn’t get a good glimpse of his face at the party, and you knew it was going to kill you to see what Roman did to him.

At the sound of the door opening, JJ sighed quietly. He looked so defeated.

“John B, can you just-”

“JJ.” You breathed out, making him visibly tense. He looked up quickly, disbelief in his eyes.

You couldn’t form any words past his name, staring at the boy you loved for so long. There were tear stains on his face, and the sight almost destroyed you. Seeing him sitting there, staring back at you, just as speechless as you felt, made your heart swell.

The feeling faded almost instantly, and you felt sick to your stomach when his gaze shifted, and a wave of forced indifference fell over his features.

My brain holds too many poisons

“What are you doing here?” His voice had a harshness to it that you fought hard to ignore.

“I-” You tried to speak, but your voice kept getting caught in your throat.

All you could do was stare at him. How much he’d changed in two weeks and how little he changed at the same time. He looked endlessly tired, and he had his guard up in a way he didn’t have since the two of you met.

“JJ-”

“You shouldn’t be here. Don’t you have a boyfriend to be taking care of?” The coldness in his voice made you shrink in on yourself.

“I don’t- I was-” You forced yourself to inhale, before exhaling slowly. “I was worried about you.”

He scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“You shouldn’t be.” His voice wasn’t as harsh now, but you could hear the bitterness behind it.

The fact that you hurt JJ hurt you so much that you almost started crying again.

They helped me make the wrong choices

He’s refusing to look at you, but you can still see the damage Roman had done.

Slowly, you walked toward him, gently lifting his chin to make him look at you, your gaze softening at how bad his face looked. It was slightly reassuring to see that they didn’t look nearly as bad as Roman’s looked, but it hurt more seeing JJ hurt like this.

He moved your hand away, being gentle with you despite the glare still on his face.

“John B cleaned me up. Why are you here?”

“He didn’t do a very good job.” You said, noticing the first aid kit and the damp cloth still sitting on the nightstand.

Opening it, you inspect what supplies you have to work with, before grabbing the cloth and turning back to JJ.

“Can I?”

He nodded ever so slightly, not looking at you.

As carefully as you could, you began to clean up his face. He had a busted lip, and there was a cut under one of his eyes with a bruise forming around it. When he hissed in pain at your touch, you stop for a moment, moving as gently and carefully as possible.

We all make stupid mistakes sometimes

Once you finished up, you took a step back to inspect his face. He still won’t look up at you, and you understood why. You couldn’t blame him for being angry.

“I fucked up, I know.” You sighed, picking the damp cloth back up.

JJ said nothing, finally looking at you while you carefully picked up his hand, cradling it in yours. You inspected the bruises along his knuckles, frowning.

“This looks bad.” You muttered, dabbing the wet cloth over the few cuts on his hand.

“Looks worse than it feels.” He said, his voice softer now. It didn’t have the same coldness to it anymore, and you had to stop yourself from tearing up at the thought that he just might forgive you.

You stayed silent for a while, trying to ignore JJ’s gaze burning into you while you worked on his hand. JJ was the one to break the silence, shifting slightly in his spot on the bed.

“You’re soaking wet.” There was a rasp to his voice while he observed you, noticing the slight shiver while your clothes clung to your body.

“It started raining while I was running over here.” You replied now that you finished cleaning his knuckles, voice so quiet JJ had to strain to hear you.

But I make them more than most

Hesitantly, you took a seat next to him on the bed, leaning back against the headboard.

“I never knew, you know.” You tucked your knees close to your chest, not looking at him. “How you felt.”

“Then why did you ignore me? You told me not to speak to you again-” JJ stopped himself, noticing the way he was raising his voice. He took a deep breath, steadying himself. “Just- why?”

“My boyfriend.” You started, resting your head on your knees. Still, you couldn’t look at him, a deep-rooted shame building within you, disappointed at yourself for listening to Roman blindly. “He told me you were trying to ruin my relationship.”

JJ rolled his eyes, muttering something under his breath. He inhaled sharply, opening his mouth to speak again when you stopped him.

“I broke up with him.”

Now, JJ’s full focus was on you, the anger in his eyes dying just a little. “You what?”

“I didn’t know about the voicemail.” You continued, shifting a little in your seat.

JJ reached a hand out, resting it on your leg as a silent reminder.

A reminder that he’s here for you. After everything.

And it's my fault that I live my life

“I didn’t know, I really didn’t.” You said quietly, cringing at the way your voice broke.

The bed dipped a little when JJ moved, leaning forward to look at you.

“Hey-”

“He deleted it, I never-” You turn slightly to look at him, realizing just how close he was to you now. “I never heard it.”

“It’s fine, I was drunk. It was a stupid mistake. I’m sorry it happened.” He looked away from you for only a moment before his eyes were on you again. “I didn’t mean to ruin our friendship.”

“You didn’t. You didn’t do anything.” You turned your attention to JJ’s hand still on your leg, his thumb rubbing up and down.

“Y/N-” He started, sighing softly.

“No, JJ, don’t.” You knew JJ well enough to know he would start blaming himself, and you tried to put a stop to it, putting your hands on either side of his face.

Running away from ghosts

“It’s not your fault. You didn’t ruin anything. I shouldn’t have listened to him, he-” With a start, you realized how close you were to JJ now, not having the heart to move your hands away from his face.

“Okay. I believe you. It wasn’t my fault.” He said, unable to tear his gaze away from you.

“He’s an asshole.” You tried to laugh it off, but it fell short when you saw JJ’s eyes dart down to your lips before focusing back on your eyes.

“So,” He whispered, one of his hands resting on your waist, the other still on your leg. “Why did you come here, anyway?”

The question hung in the air, floating in the small space between you and JJ. He was only inches away, and it was becoming increasingly hard to focus on anything other than the urge to kiss him.

“Y/N?” He spoke up again when you didn’t respond. But who could blame you? He was so close, looking at you so softly that it was making your brain short-circuit.

“I needed to see you.” You finally said, looking between JJ’s eyes and his lips.

JJ didn’t respond, staring at you with an expression you couldn’t quite decipher.

Too many skeletons

“Why did you need to see me?” He asked after what felt like forever.

“I was worried about you. I had to make sure you were okay.” Your voice was soft, whispering like the words were meant for JJ alone.

“I’m okay.” He said, his voice holding the same softness yours did.

Reluctantly, you pulled away from him, dropping your hands to your lap. JJ, however, kept his hands on you, bringing the hand on your waist up to rub your arm.

“I’m sorry for pushing you away. I’m sorry for letting Roman ruin our friendship. I just- I was just scared.” You couldn’t look up at him, dropping your gaze down to your lap.

“Scared of what?” He leaned forward slightly, still needing to be so close to you.

“I think I was just scared of my feelings.” The second the words left your mouth, you felt warm all over, not wanting to be rejected by JJ after everything.

“Your feelings?”

You nodded, keeping your attention down, fiddling with the blanket laid over the top of the bed.

Too hard to keep them in the closet where they've been

“I’ve always liked you, JJ. I’ve- I’ve always loved you.”

JJ’s breath hitched, and you could hear him whisper your name. Still, you don’t look up at him, unable to make eye contact with how vulnerable you felt.

“Hey.” His voice is soft, and you don’t move away when one of his hands rests over yours. “Look at me, sweetheart.”

Weakly, you looked up at him, seeing a fondness in his eyes that you’d never seen before. There was a smile pulling at his lips

You found yourself entranced by the look in his eyes, unable to look away.

We all make stupid mistakes sometimes

“It was stupid, I shouldn’t have left you because he told me to.” He leaned closer, listening to your apology with a newfound giddiness. “I’m sorry.”

There was a frown on your face despite the growing smile on his own face.

“You love me?”

For a moment, you were surprised, suddenly feeling very vulnerable with the way JJ was looking at you. It felt like he could see into your soul, unearthing every secret you’d ever had.

“I-” There was a part of you that wanted to deny it, to save face and tell him you didn’t mean it. But something about the way he was staring at you like you held all the stars in your eyes made you stop. “Yeah. Yeah, I love you. Of course I do, JJ.”

His grin grew wider, and he leaned closer still.

You're the one that I miss the most

JJ put one hand on your cheek, his other hand still resting over your hand. As gently as he could, he pulled you toward him until your face was inches away from his.

Your breath gets caught in your throat, and you could feel your heart beating fast in your chest.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked, so close to you that his nose was touching yours.

Instead of responding, you closed the distance between you two, loosely wrapping your arms around his neck while he brought you closer.

Finally, when you pulled back for air, JJ rested his forehead against yours.

“I missed you.” He mumbled, pressing a quick kiss to your cheek.

You grinned, feeling like your heart might beat entirely out of your chest as you shut him up with another kiss. It was a silent agreement between the two of you, to never leave again.

An agreement that you would be here for each other. After everything.

Happy Birthday, @ollieopossums-revenge!

there’s no Yautja for “happy birthday” so I just wrote something that Solar Flare would say: “fuck you”

i just wanna grill for god´s sake

i’ll confess…. i’m 🤍 anon

thank you for writing this for me!!! i’m so in love with ur works and i can’t wait for more🤭

and i also don’t know why i was with a man who couldn’t make me cum for three years i thought the sex would get better (it didn’t)

heyyyy just let my ex boyfriend of three years play me so hard and he decided to end things with me for a girl he’s known for two months in college,, sooooooo can i request some jisung boy best friend smut who treats reader right and fucks her (me) until she (i) forgets about her (my) ex (FUCK him).

sorry self indulgent request i just dont rly know why i let myself be fooled by a man who never made me cum in three years. i know jisung would get me right🤭🤭

-🤍 anon

TREAT HER RIGHT — JISUNG.

pairing: jisung x reader(afab) genre: smut, NSFW, friends to lovers warnings: switch!jisung, switch!reader, perv!jisung, oral (f. receiving), face sitting, ass slapping (like twice), dirty talk, creampie a/n: i started writing it three weeks ago and went through hell to finish it istg. also… GIRL WHY WOULD YOU DATE A GUY WHO NEVER MADE YOU CUM FOR THREE FUCKING YEARS???? BFFR THE WAY I WOULDN’T EVEN LET HIM FUCK ME SECOND TIME??

being around you right now was almost dangerous. you were raging and fuming on your way home, because your now ex-boyfriend broke up with you for a girl he’s known for two months. there were so many emotions boiling inside you. you probably should have been crying, but instead you were stomping home angrily, already thinking about how you would tell your best friend everything.

you and jisung have been renting an apartment together for quite some time. he saw all the ups and downs of your relationship with your boyfriend, but never said anything. he was just there when you needed him; and that's why he's been your best friend for so long.

“hanji! you won’t believe what just happened!” you slammed the door open as you sprinted into his room. you were so emotional, you didn’t notice how quickly jisung switched tabs in the browser and stumbled at your sudden appearance.

“what?” his big boba eyes were looking at you, trying to find any clue to your bad mood. he was worried, but mostly in shock.

“dude, just- oh my god! i still can’t process what just happened!”

jisung only shook his head in a sign for you to continue.

“i broke up with my boyfriend.” you crossed your arms over your chest and looked down at your friend.

hatred mixed with anger was still raging inside you, and the surprisingly emotionless jisung did not help you cope with your emotions at all.

“are you joking?”

“well…” you sighed, twitching the sleeve of the sweatshirt. “technically, he broke up with me.”

“are you joking?!” jisung repeated the question in the same manner, but more startled now. yeah, he had a wide range of emotions. you’ve got used to it by now.

it made you go through the events of the last couple of hours again, trying to recount exactly every detail of your dialogue; not forgetting to mention several times what kind of asshole your ex is. while you were busy telling, you didn’t notice the stupid smirk that appeared on jisung’s face. oh, he was not hearing a word. instead, jisung shamelessly studied your features.

“are you even listening to me?!” his aloof expression with a silly grin caused a new wave of anger.

“yeah, s-sorry, i just still can’t process the news.” he highlighted the last word, clearing his throat nervously.

that was unusual. jisung tended fall out of reality sometimes, but he never neglected your feelings when you needed his support the most. you snorted under your breath and looked back at his desk. only now you noticed a hand cream and a box of tissues on the table.

oh.

“hanji… were you-“ you let out a laugh. “sorry i didn’t mean to interrupt your… activity.”

slowly, jisung’s face turned completely red — a cute blush on his cheeks combined with crimson ears. he was ready to sink through the ground.

“shut up.” he blurted out. “you were so fast i barely had time to shove my dick in my pants.”

it was supposed to come off as a silly joke, but you felt a knot tying inside your stomach. you never thought about jisung masturbating in his room. of course, you knew he did that. obviously, he did that. but you never thought about it. and now…

how many times a day did jisung jerk off in his room? in the shower? when you weren’t home? your train of thought could no longer be stopped.

and then you did something completely stupid.

“c’mon, let’s see what our hanji likes to watch while jerking off…” you hummed theatrically, clicking on the random tab he was trying to hide.

oh.

you definitely did not expect what you saw.

a photo of yourself bending over the kitchen counter. jisung took it secretly while you were busy doing chores, like some kind of pervert.

you quickly clicked though other tabs just to see more photos of you and your ass from different angles and poses. but the last tab caught your attention particularly.

“roommate fucked my face. facesitting and pussylicking using me as a fucktoy” was the title of the video. it was so stupidly written it made you laugh.

your gaze shifted back to jisung. he was not looking at you nor at the monitor. instead, jisung stared at the ceiling, fiddling with the hem of his t-shirt.

“oh wow-“ was all you could say.

it was hot. not only in the room, but the sight of him was hot.

a cute blush covered his cheeks. you’ve never noticed before how puffy they are. it must be really soft to sit on them…

“hanji… look at me.”

he refused, closing his eyes instead. the level of embarrassment was already over the board, he knew that he wouldn’t be able to withstand your gaze.

it took him by surprise when you turned his chair around to face you. he squealed loudly and opened his eyes, only to find himself face to face with you. his big boba eyes widened as he tried to sit up in the chair, but you held him by the shoulders, forcing him to stay in place.

“explain?”

jisung mouthed all the swear words he could remember. was there a way out of this situation? he was totally screwed!

in his mind, the moment of his confession should have been the most romantic moment in your relationship, but in reality he was sitting there with his rock hard dick stuffed in his pants and evidence of his creepy behavior all over the monitor.

you didn’t want to let him go so easily. you wanted to hear him stutter a little more, trying to explain his stupid actions. maybe he would finally buy a door lock…

the pressure of your knee parting his legs made him squirm in place. he took a deep breath and finally spoke.

“i dont know what to say, okay?! what do you want to hear?” he looked irritated now. “yes, i jerk off to the pictures of you. yes, i jerk off to the thoughts of fucking you. yes, i do that even when you are home and there is a risk you’ll catch me. yes, i took all those pictures like a total creep. you have full right to kick me out right now. i know i am a total scumbag!”

the speech hit you with the heatwave. the thought of your best friend pleasing himself over you was enough to make you horny. every word he said got imprinted on your brain while you tried not to jump on him and ask him to fuck you.

“who said i am gonna kick you out?” you cooed, cupping his cheek with your palm. as if it wasn’t breathtaking for him already, you boldly invited yourself onto his lap, making him sit up, his hands immediately finding place on your waist.

the dumb confused look on his face made you smile even more. he was totally baffled by your actions, you could see how fast his brain was working, trying to find at least some explanation for what was happening.

that was just the beginning. to tease him a little more, you shifted on his lap, causing his hips to jerk up into you. now his boner was even more evident. he was wearing only grey sweatpants and nothing underneath as a part of his home clothes. that ended up being the reason of his noticeable hard-on.

a desperate moan escaped his lips as his head fell back against the chair. it was so satisfying to watch him fall apart. somehow, he still hasn’t figured out the game you were playing. in his mind, you were just toying with him, about to kick him out on the street any minute. in attempt to control his reactions and gain some control, he gripped your waist tighter, making your breath quicken. you were not only playing with him, but with yourself too.

the precum started leaking through his sweatpants right onto your clothes, but you couldn’t care less. to be honest, you got even more aroused at the thought of his arousal staining your clothes.

the veins on his neck became so visible as he tried to control his facial expression. he was panting, chest rising and falling, his cheeks flushed as his eyes stared at you from beneath his long lashes.

“why are you doing this to me?” jisung whimpered. “i can’t control myself, when you’re sitting on me like that.”

“then don’t control yourself.” you leaned even closer to his face, barely touching his nose with yours.

he could feel your hot breath on his lips. frozen in place, he did not dare to move, afraid to ruin the moment.

satisfied with the tension you created, you finally captured your lips together. it was sloppy, mostly because of his nervousness, but still very arousing. you kept shifting on his lap, making him moan softly in your mouth. you swore that was the hottest thing ever.

you cut the kiss short to appreciate the sight of your best friend beneath you. the look you give him drove him utterly insane.

“get on the bed.” you simply ordered.

jisung cursed under his breath. his boba eyes widened once again. this boldness coming from you took him by surprise. it was not like he did not want it, his dick was twitching so hard under your ass, but he needed some time to realize that his fantasies had finally become reality.

“c’mon. i won’t ask twice.”

he was so fazed by your first command that he didn’t notice you had already left his lap and made your way to his bed.

it felt like a dream. he couldn’t believe his luck; to have his gorgeous best friend, the girl of his dreams, as his flatmate was one thing, but to have his best friend half-naked on his bed was another thing. your beautiful body was sitting on his sheets, while pieces of clothing flew in different directions. he took a minute to appreciate this act of stripping you pulled for him. in a matter of seconds, you were sitting on his bed half-naked, with a growing irritated look.

“s-sorry! coming!”

dealing with the clothes on the way, he made it to the bed. his eyes never left your body even for a second. god, he wanted to fuck you so bad. the view of you patiently waiting for him to take you had him weak in the knees. jisung was speechless — from the situation itself, from your actions, from the sudden boldness in your behavior. he always knew you had that confidence. he knew it was somewhere inside you, hidden because your boyfriend hated dominant women. that is also why he wanted to fuck you — just to show you how different sex can be.

the way you pushed his body against the bed made his dick twitch even harder. oh, he was so turned on that he could barely restrain himself from jumping on you and ripping off your panties.

“wanna taste me?” you asked, already making your way to his face.

jisung nodded eagerly in response, making you chuckle. he was so compliant, eager to do anything, just to make you feel better.

“i do. i really want to feel you on my face. please, baby, crush me with your thighs.” the words were pouring out of him. jisung has always been like that — once he started talking, it was impossible to shut him up. maybe that's why your first wish was to sit on his face.

at first you lowered yourself slightly, just to let him get used to the feeling. jisung did not waste much time, immediately starting to lick your folds. his face quickly turned into a wet mess, only gaining pleased groans from him.

“you taste so good…” he moaned into you, keeping his face firmly planted between the slick folds of your cunt.

the way his tongue was working on your clit made you relax and enjoy the moment, so you didn’t realize how you fully sat on his face. you only noticed what you did, when you felt his tongue working harder than before, and his cock started dripping with precum.

“oh, you liked that?” you cooed at him and repeated the same process of sitting on his face with full weight. jisung’s reaction was the same, just slightly more intense with the way his cock shamelessly released an impressive amount of precum.

jisung enjoyed all the interactions you’ve had with his face so far, so the level of enjoyment didn’t decrease when your pussy moved faster and rougher on his mouth.

you watched as his shaft became wet and slippery from his own precum. his hips were bucking up into nothing.

“s-so good— s-so good!” jisung mumbled into your pussy between his licks. he didn’t really care if you thought he was being weird. he had been longing for this moment for so long that he didn't care anymore. “‘m close!”

jisung’s tone was almost shy when he spoke into you. the familiar burning sensation inside his stomach was rapidly building. he was ashamed of himself; he didn’t want to cum untouched, especially during your first sex together. he began to squirm under you from sudden pleasure, which sharply tightened his tummy.

the sight of him grinding his hips into the air made you even wetter. the desperation to relieve himself, your sounds fueled his feral need and desire to keep you all to himself; he craved to fill you up and watch it dribble out of your hole, but now he literally put your needs above his own.

it was breathtaking to see jisung obeying you that easily. you’ve never been able to talk your boyfriend into subbing. he has always been so arrogant, afraid to try something new, to lose his “manly” look...

you shook your head. you didn’t even notice how your thoughts went back to your ex.

“hey…” jisung paused as soon as you stopped grinding on his face. “are you alright? did i do something wrong? you can just tell me, i will stop.”

“no, no. i am fine… it’s just-” you sighed, lifting yourself up from his face completely.

“just?” he raised his eyebrows cutely. the way his mood completely changed with you, made your heart fill with warm. even while being in such position — crushed by your thighs — he was looking at you fondly, ready to take care of you at any second.

“just- want you to fuck me until i forget about my ex. my mind keeps going back to him, i need you to fuck me dumb till i’m out of breath… please?”

jisung’s heart skipped a beat as he heard those words from you. the “please” at the end was so unnecessary, he would have obeyed you anyway.

his forehead was covered in sweat, bangs were smeared on his face, and his mouth was wet from your juices. but he still smiled like a cheshire cat, making you laugh at him.

“whatever you want, baby. i am all yours.” he winked at you, lifting himself from the bed.

he stroked his cock slowly, and the pre-cum dripped down the shaft, his thumb smearing the droplets all over the red tip. you quickly positioned yourself with your back arching, allowing him to take you from behind. you still weren't ready to face your best friend in an intimate moment like this. like you weren’t sitting on his face moments ago.

after getting a couple of strokes, jisung guided his dick to your wet cunt. he rubbed the tip up and down your slit, collecting additional wetness.

with his chest pressed against your back, he slipped his cock inside your cunt with ease. he didn’t even have to put in the slightest of effort. one hand wrapped around your waist to hold you in place, while the other gave your ass a loud smack, making you clench your walls around him. you bit your lip to hide a moan. your didn’t want to sound so desperate… yet.

jisung started huffing short breaths against your skin. his eyes rolled back as he felt the warmth of your pussy engulfing him. your walls were burning in stretch due to the difference in sizes. your pussy was not used to the dick that big. and jisung was definitely bigger in size than your ex. so him fucking into you raw was driving your mind in circles.

jisung was hitting all the right spots. his hand was wrapped around your waist with his fingers finding his way to your clit again. it was so not necessary, his cock was thick enough to provide you all the needed stimulation. his thumb grazed against your clit, as he kept tracing circles, making you squirm and whimper in pleasure. additionally, he spread your folds apart even more, so he could collect your wetness on them.

“how naughty.” jisung whispered into your neck.

you moaned and shivered both from jisung’s dirty words and his dick that was currently filling your pussy perfectly. the pace of his thrusts hadn't slowed down all this time, only growing faster and faster. he really did what you asked him to — fucked you dumb until you were out of breath. you could already feel yourself choking on air.

the room felt hot and sticky. you were starting to feel dizzy, the coil in your stomach just waiting to be snapped the rougher jisung would thrust into you. his tip was hitting that exact spot every time. you’ve never came from vaginal stimulation alone, but it didn't surprise you that it was jisung who was going to make you orgasm in this way.

“f-fuck, faster please…” you cried out, tears started falling down your cheeks. the stretch felt so good; everything just felt so right and perfect. why didn’t you fuck you best friend before?

“faster?! isn’t that fast enough for you, baby?” he was a little taken aback by your words. he tried his best to please you, and to be honest, he was already approaching his limit.

“n-no-“ you sounded so fucked out already. “f-faster, need you to fuck me m-more-“

your frantic pleas only encouraged jisung to increase his speed. he was ready to reach that limit for you. the wet slaps of his cock thrusting into you were filling the room. his hips were not giving you a break. you continuously whimpered, looking like you’re about to lose your mind from pleasure.

jisung removed his hand from your waist, making his way to your breast, squeezing it harshly. you could just whine, too dumb on his cock to say anything. the pinch of your nipples brought you closer to your release, but then he landed a harsh slap on your ass, making you realize you are seconds away from cumming.

“‘m close! so close! i’m cumming, hanji!” your eyes rolled back and all you could do was hold your breath the moment the intense orgasm washed over you.

jisung groaned, trying to help you ride through it.

“wait- where do i-“ jisung asked panicky. he was very close too.

“inside- want it inside. all of it, hanji.” your head was spinning as you said these words.

jisung choked on his spit, but did as you asked.

“shit.” he cursed. his cock twitched, releasing a load of sperm inside you. at a moment like this, you wished you could see he face, while we was cumming. his cum was sticky, dripping from your hole onto the bedsheets, staining everything. jisung breathed out as he finished. “can’t deny, you sounded so hot begging for me to cum inside you.”

your breathing has finally returned to normal. you chuckled at his words tiredly. suddenly, all the energy was drained from you body. you collapsed on the bed, allowing jisung to tug you into his embrace. the heat rushed to your cheeks when it finally hit you with a realization.

you just fucked your best friend.

and it was the best sex you’ve ever had in your life.

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