Lost Friends - Tumblr Posts

looking for someone

hiii I'm bea and Idk if this guy is still on here but I was talking to him for a while and he deleted his socials :( his name is yunis and he has a cat and I really miss him so if you know anyone like that can u dm me <3

yunis I really miss you <3

to torture myself i reread our texts. tonight, for the first time, i listened to a voice message. it was irrelevant, something silly. we used to communicate like that, to feel closer i guess. and that voice, so familiar, i can hear it in my head saying anything and everything, something you never even said- that's how deeply i know it. but now, now it felt distant. it felt exactly how it feels after you hear a stranger for the second time- you can distinguish something, but not enough. i was listening and i couldn't fathom even the thought of me ever being close to you. you do not exist anymore. you are just a blurry memory in the back of my head. when i listen to your voice i don't hear the voice of a person i love- i used to love. i just hear a voice.

I lost a really good friend today to deactivation. My very first one actually here on Tumblr. Was a real and meaningful person that I felt was a mentor and someone that I could bounce ideas off of objectively and always gave sound advice. I hope our paths cross again soon! Be well, my friend!!! Until next time........

losing a friend (for the one that got away) 1/3

part 2 , part 3

@frenchtoastlesbian //personalmessage.blogspot.com // @linguinereid // trista mateer // unknown // richard siken // ocean vuong “on earth we’re briefly gorgeous”// unknown // unknown

[ID:

A tumblr post by user frenchtoastlesbian, reading: losing people is so interesting because like. no i don’t want to speak to you ever again. yes i think about you on your birthday.

“The number of hours we have together is actually not so large. Please linger near the door uncomfortably instead of just leaving. Please forget your scarf in my life and come back later for it.”

A drawing of a book, with the words ‘it takes two to be a stranger’ on the cover.

A tumblr post by user linguinereid, reading: also today is my old best friends birthday (we just grew apart) and it’s so weird how you can go from talking every day to just sending a little “happy birthday! i hope this year treats you well!” to them. like i know everything about you, but also nothing.

I’d rather think of this / as a confession: / you are still the first person / I want to share new things with. 

Graffiti on a wall, reading: “If we ever stop talking.. Send me a song”

Sometimes you get so close to someone you end up on the other side of them. - Richard Siken, Editor’s page: the long and the short (...)

A tumblr post from memoryslandscape, reading: “I miss you more than I remember you.” - Ocean Vuong, from On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous (Penguin, 2019).

A handwritten note, reading: I always see stuff and think “oh you’d like this” / I hope that you see stuff and think that I would like them, too.

Maybe someday / we will be two /people meeting / again for the first time.

A tumblr post by coffeeacademia, reading: i find it so beautiful how we all read the same poetry and miss different people

A tumblr post by user frenchtoastlesbian, reading: losing people is so interesting because like. no i don’t want to speak to you ever again. yes i think about you on your birthday. / end of ID]

This hits really close to home for me. If anyone knows of a place called Burns highschool in North Carolina can you message me please.

Fic Rec

@thetimemoves had the wonderful idea to celebrate @splix71‘s memory today, on her birthday.

So, in honor of Splix, I want to take a moment to gush about one of my absolute favorite BBC Sherlock fics of all time. 

The Case of the Green Gown

I followed along with this fic as a WIP from the very first chapter. I usually don’t make a habit of bookmarking stories until they are complete, but I bookmarked this one immediately. The note I made on my bookmark, way back in January of 2015, was “heartbreakingly plausible.”

This fic. This fic.

In addition to being an absolutely smashing original casefic, with enough twists and turns to keep you guessing right up until the end, every single chapter is permeated with breathtakingly complex character work and rich emotional nuance.

The timeline jumps back and forth, with John and Sherlock reconnecting to work on a case together after they have drifted apart. The reasons behind their estrangement are explored slowly and with devastating effect as the story unfolds.

Complicated character relationships are handled beautifully, in a way that feels both painful and so very, very real. John is a study in buried anger and resentment, Sherlock is proud and stubborn and lonely, Mary is deeply flawed and persists in making bad decisions for very believable reasons, and Mycroft– even Mycroft is gifted with a beautiful, heartbreaking history of his own.

All I can say is… if you haven’t read this absolute masterpiece, go read it. Savor it. We are so lucky, collectively as a fandom, that Splix gifted us with her time and talent. ❤︎

Top and bottom five

These are my most and least popular works. Not all my works are on AO3, so technically this isn’t quite statistically accurate, but whatever. :D

Top five, from most kudos:

Staircase Wit -  ‘ L'esprit de l'escalier - Sherlock never suffers from it, which isn’t to say he doesn’t suffer for it. Five times he took a beating, and one time he got away.’  Well, I love me some whump and if this is my most-kudosed fic I guess other people do too. :) This was also my first Sherlock fic of any length, so it was really heartening that it was appreciated. <3

Method Act - ‘Something very strange keeps happening at 7:35 PM.’ AKA the fic where Sherlock and Benedict Cumberbatch switch places. This was probably the most fun I’ve ever had writing a fic. I had a lot of folks say “I don’t usually like RPF but….” So, if you read this and liked it despite some reservations, thanks for reading out of your comfort zone! :D

The Case of the Green Gown - ‘…Watson had at that time deserted me for a wife, the only selfish action which I can recall in our association. I was alone. —Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, The Adventure of the Blanched Soldier’ This is a tough fic to summarize; essentially, it’s ten years after the events of His Last Vow and Sherlock and John are estranged, and a case brings them back together. Flashbacks detail what went wrong and how. It’s a long fic, and tough to write, but ultimately very satisfying.

We Really Must Talk - ‘Two Jedi, having crash-landed on an unfamiliar planet, come to some realizations thanks to the assistance of an extremely peculiar native.’ My first Sherlock fic, which of course is a mashup with Star Wars. Total throwaway, but a giggle.

A Million By Tuesday - ‘From a prompt on the Cabin Pressure meme. AU: Gordon Shappey’s disgruntled ex-employee, Douglas Richardson, seeks revenge by kidnapping Gordon’s trophy husband, Martin.‘  I’m glad this made the list! This is my favorite Cabin Pressure fic; writing it was a complete breeze, combining my hard-core abduction kink with my hard-core slow burn romance kink.

And now, the bottom five, starting with the least popular by kudos:

Adrift - ‘A one-off set in Merry Amelie’s “Academic Arcadia” universe.’ Merry Amelie has been writing college professors Quinn/Ian, an AU version of Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan, for a long, long time, and they are available on AO3 [261 works as of this writing!].

Roses of Picardy - ‘Stills of Jamie Stewart and Jim Nicholls set to John McCormack’s “Roses of Picardy.” Final image courtesy of LeylaLovely.’ Okay, I am no vidder, this is abundantly clear. :D BUT, I still liked doing this, because I adore Jamie and Jim with all of my heart. If someone asked me what fic of mine I *really* wanted them to read, I’d say Roses of Picardy.

Chiaroscuro - ‘A predator contemplates his prey.’ My first ever fic, The Phantom Menace my intro to fandom, in 1999. Tempus fugit, man. The fic is what it says on the tin, essentially.

Thaur -  ‘And the Ring that he held seemed to him exceedingly fair to look on…. —J.R.R. Tolkien, The Silmarillion’ A fic for the Sons of Gondor Trick or Treat Exchange. This used to be a popular exchange on LJ. It was bittersweet to participate in this particular exchange, in 2015, because the fandom was so very diminished, but that’s the way it goes. Aragorn/Boromir is still my pairing of choice in LOTR, and I still love them very, very much indeed.

Hardly a Substitute - ‘ Rents and Sick Boy fill the blank spaces.’ So, in 1994 I went to see Shallow Grave, and that spurred a more than ten year obsession with Ewan McGregor. My fannish loves are long and intense. :D This is one of the only PWPs I’ve ever done, in Trainspotting.

So, there it is. Hope you enjoyed reading - I enjoyed writing it!

You know what’s fucked up?

That everyone is out there saying that if the multiverse is real they hope there is a version of them that walked away at the first nasty thing you did.

And here I am wishing that if the multiverse is real there’s a version of you that stayed.

Little confession :)

I would’ve posted this vent on Twitter, but most of my relatives follow me on there and I honestly don’t want them to ask me questions about my mental state and such... You know? 

I’ve always had toxic people in my life. I was surrounded by them. I got so used to their existence, after some time I even started befriending some. That’s how I got to meet who I now call “ex best friends”. Sure, we had lots of fun together, but lots of times we’d have fights, they’d make stupid little comments on whatever I did, they’d make playlists for each other, they’d gift each other things, they’d play games together and I’d be ignored and left out.

All of this was so sudden. It happened within the span of a week. One day, they just decided to ignore me and give me shit to eat. For two months straight, I’d only have them over my head and how I’d get them to like me again, because apparently I did something wrong. 

One day, I gave this story an end. After endless days of being ignored, I decided that it’d be a good idea to ignore them back. Give them a piece of their own medicine, you know?

They went APESHIT. From insults to death threats, that day was the day I was at my best, yet at my worst. I got a huge weight off my chest and I was happy. On the other hand though, I didn’t feel like dealing with their bullshit and their stupid little alt accounts they used in order to bully me. 

What I wanna say right now is that I’m thankful that I got rid of them. I can’t possibly imagine how terrible my mental health would be if they were by my side til this day. I have found people who are nicer to me, stick by my side and truly love me. They make me happier than what they ever could. 

People come and go. If you’ve lost your best friend, I’m sorry. Maybe they weren’t true after all. 

[ I doubt you’ll ever see this but, here’s the things I want to say to you: ]

remember the good times we had together

stop spying on me

hope karma gets your ass