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GUTS ! —(planned) masterlist

!!!the stories disappear onto my masterlists once they're finished!!!

bad idea, right?, james potter —there’s something intoxicating in the way that you and james just can’t keep away from each other ! (gn!reader)

the grudge, tasm!peter parker —when being spider—mans girlfriend becomes dangerous, peter makes a decision that breaks your heart ! (fem!reader)

love is embarrassing, james potter —everyone knew that james potter was in love with lily evans and everyone but you seemed to understand what that meant ! (fem!reader)

making the bed, stiles stilinski —while the world you once knew is burning to the ground, you feel as if you’re slowly losing your mind and slipping away from reality ! (gn!reader)

logical, anthony lockwood —there are mutual feelings in both your hearts, but there are mutual fears as well ! (fem!reader)

ballad of a homeschooled girl

pairing: jj maybank x fem!kook!reader

summary: social cues and parties were a new thing for you, luckily you met the party king right away

warnings: underage drinking, accidentally outing someone (to one person), awkwardness, lmk if i missed anything

a/n: ahhh i’m so excited to post the first fic!!! i decided to give this a happy ending ;)

you were sitting on a couch in a room full of people, a few too many people in your opinion, but who would’ve interested that?

you scrambled onto your feet as a kissing couple was making a bee-line to your couch. you pressed your drink to your chest, while your eyes wandered around the room, in search of a new hiding spot— place to sit down.

your eyes landed on another sofa, that was already occupied by one person, but left enough room for you as well.

“jj!” you exclaimed surprised as you stepped closer and noticed the familiar face.

it wasn’t like you and jj were friends, but you were friendly with each other. it seemed that you were the only kook he liked, except for kiara of course.

“hey” jj smiled and held a bottle in your direction

you just raised your cup and he nodded, while he put the bottle back down next to the couch.

“saw you with aaron bryce earlier” jj said after you had sat down

“yeah” you shrugged “thought it be nice to talk with a few people”

“talk?” jj repeated grinning “that was hardcore flirting 101, my friend”

“ehh—no”

“ehh—yes” jj laughed “you know that aaron’s gay, right?”

your eyes wandered away from the blonde boy and to the front of the room. aaron was standing at a window, making out with a boy.

“figured” you smiled awkwardly

“i see you’re not the best at telling those things. i thought it was obvious, but it seems as it wasn’t as much” he shrugged

“this is exactly like when i dated gabe mcallister for a month” your eyes got big and you slapped a hand over your mouth

“don’t worry” jj smiled assuringly “i won’t tell anyone”

“i can’t believe i just outed someone” you made a move to stand up. sheer embarrassment flodding your senses. you had made a fool of you the whole night, might as well go home now. earlier you had been the only one not to get a whole groups inside joke, making you stand out like the queen. after that you had tripped over your own feet and shattered a glass onto the floor and finally the whole aaron thing, after that you had decided to hide out on the empty couch you had sat on, before the kissing couple interfered and you had to leave.

“what are you doing?” jj asked. his hand went to your elbow, as if to hold you in place

“the party is basically done, right?” you motioned around the room. the party was pretty much not done, which seemed to be the exact thing jj tried telling you with only a glance.

“you alright?” he asked

“yeah” you muttered “i’m just not that much fun too be around and the last hour i spend here seems to prove that”

“lucky for you i arrived perfectly late to help you through the rest of the night” he nodded “you don’t want to imagine the state i would be in if i had been on time”

“probably the state i wish i was in right now” you shuddered “i knew parties weren’t my thing, but this.. this is actually worse”

“you want to give up parties completely because you’ve been to one bad one?”

“the first and only” you nodded

“excuse me, did you just say this was your first party.. in like ever?”

“yeah” you shrugged “excluding kids birthday parties”

“how come you’ve never been to any party before?”

“jj, you get the concept of homeschooling right? not really the best opportunity to get invited to anything”

“but you do have friends, yeah?”

“of course” you rolled your eyes “i just don’t like going to parties. but tonight i thought, i should just try it and now it feels like i need to leave the country”

"it can't be that bad" jj shook his head

you send him a challenging look "you see that red stain on the white rug? that was me"

"ehh" he quickly tried to not lose the smile he was giving you "and what if it was your fault? no one will remember that tomorrow"

"topper filmed it"

"he did?" jj asked surprised "what an idiot"

"so" your eyes went to his hand, that was still holding you in place "will you let me leave now?" you asked expectingly

"absolutely not" jj laughed "now we will get waisted"

"what? so that i can embarrass myself even further?"

"no" jj said slowly "if what you said is true and you already embarrassed yourself so much that you should better leave the country, there's not much that can happen now, right? might as well make use of the free alcohol while you're at it"

you sighed. the boy was looking at you like you would be ruining his night if you left now. you shrugged your shoulders in defeat "i guess so"

jj hollered loudly, before he grabbed your cup and filled it up with the bottle that had been standing in front of his feet.

he passed the cup back to you. it was filled to the brim, a few sips went over the edge and landed on your hand. “woah, that’s a bit much isn’t it?”

jj raised his left arm and pointed on an invisible clock. “we started late, so we have to make up for it”

you nodded slowly, before you gently raised the cup, trying not to shower yourself in the liquor, and took a few sips. you grimaced at the bitter taste. “what is that, jj?” you asked “are you trying to poison me”

“straight vodka” jj shrugged

you chocked on your fourth sip. “w-what?” you coughed “are you insane?”

he emptied the rest of the bottle into his own cup. “perfectly sane, baby”

“if i have to go to the hospital for alcohol poisoning, i’m blaming you” you pointed the cup in his direction

“don’t worry if that happens we’re both there” he laughed “and now, drink up. but not too fast”

you spent the next half hour gently sipping on the cup, while you and jj talked with each other. you had never thought you would get along this well. you only knew each other, obviously because you lived on the same island and because he mowed your parents lawn from time to time or fixed your car when there was something wrong with it.

you were a lot more similar than you had initially thought (well, not considering social interactions of course). jj was secretly a fan of taylor swift and you had loved her since you were little. you loved to surf and so did jj. it was funny, every time you found a new thing you both liked, the other couldn’t believe it at first.

finally after another half an hour you both were pretty drunk. you still sat on that same couch, laughing about something jj had just said, without really recoiling what it was.

suddenly teenage dirtbag by wheatus started playing and you grinned at the boy. “that’s my favorite song!”

he smiled, taking your hand in his. “let’s dance then”

you both stood up, stumbling to the middle of the room. you performed a breathtaking dance routine, which mostly consisted of balancing each other out.

you fell back down onto the couch, laughing hysterically. “thank you for tonight” your head was leaning against the leather and you gently turned your head, looking at jj.

jj smiled. “of course”

you had spent another hour just sitting and talking, before jj decided that it was time to go home. he offered to walk you to your house and you agreed.

just before you opened the door, jj behind you, he held you back. “give me your phone"

you raised an eyebrow "why?" you questioned confused

"so i can give you my number, that's alright with you?"

you just shrugged, handing him your unlocked phone without another word of protest

he was silent for a few seconds, before a pityful sigh left his mouth. he held the phone in your direction, the wikihow article on how to start a conversation still opened. "really, y/n?" he presented you with a worried glance

you just laughed. “i’m lucky you saved me”

“yes you are” he muttered, typing his number into the phone, before he gave it back to you. “goodnight, y/n” he pressed a kiss onto your cheek. “don’t forget to call!”

“i won’t” you smiled, watching as the boy walked away, before you closed the door.

the lacy fic is going to be chaotic and you'll have to deal with that lol

(the tags do reveal a bit haha)

lacy

pairing: peter parker (mcu) x fem!fitzsimmons!reader

summary: peter parker was everything you wanted to be, but you just couldn't hate him for it

warnings: a few little spoilers for agents of shield, this is not as sad as i wanted it to be, but whatever

notes: reader is fitzsimmons daughter! i imagine them to be pretty young parents, she might be about 16 while they're 36

you weren't sure when your obsession with peter parker had begun, but you were sure that it was psychotic at this point. you couldn't help it. there was a thin line between love and hate and you danced it every day.

your problem was that you just couldn't hate him. you honestly wished you could, be he was perfect and he was nice and you wanted to be everything that he already was.

he was a hero and you wished you could help the people like he did. you weren't special. you didn't have any abilities, you mostly stuck to the lab and spend most your time inventing things for the people that were special.

ever since your parents team had finished their last mission your mother and father had settled into the avengers facility. they decided to only work from here, after they had had you, to keep you and each other safe. and naturally, you followed their example. you were incredibly smart, and how couldn't you? you were the daughter of the most brilliant scientiests shield and the world had ever seen.

it was your dream to leave these halls and go on missions like your parents used to, but they knew the danger and wanted to keep you safe. you were homeschooled and almost never left the tower. you were like rapunzel if she had been academically gifted.

this was your personal prison and you couldn't help but wonder if this was all you were fit for.

and then came peter. he was the same age as you and he was the living proof that there was always something more to aspire, that you wouldn't ever be able to reach.

maybe it was that self-destructive behaviour, but sometimes you wished that something would bite you or that someone would experiment on you, just so you could have what they had. this jealousy made you bitter. you didn't want to be like this, and you hated yourself for basically throwing longing glances after peter every day.

"hey, sweetheart" your dad stuck his head through the door of the labatory

"hey" you smiled softly

he walked into the room, your lab coat in hand. "you forgot it in the living room"

"thanks, dad" he smiled and patted your shoulder

"peter is on his way, his suit needs some adjustments i think"

you nodded and your father left the room. you turned your back to the door and began searching the material you would need to work on the spider-man suit.

peter parker was making his way down the hall towards you lab in the same time. what you didn't know was, that he probably had the same admiration for you as you for him. he would watch you any time you didn't look. he knew that your parents on their own were smarter than tony stark, so you were like magic to him. besides that you were beautiful and funny and he wished that you would look at him like your mum looked at your dad. that was the kind of love he was longing for

"peter" you said surprised as you noticed the boy leaning in the doorway

"hey" peter smiled, stepping inside the room, after you had nodded at him

"how can i help you?" you gently took the suit from his hands

"uuh, just some suit adjustments"

"why didn't you ask uncle tony to adjust it? he build the suit, didn't he?"

"you're smarter than him" he said quickly, not wanting to reveal the real reason. he would do anything to be in your presence

"i know that" you laughed "but this is a new one" you turned the fabric around. "nano-tech" you noticed "i'm not sure if i have the right tools to work on that"

"oh" peter just said, trying to think of something else to ask you "could you take a look at my web-shooters?"

"sure" you smiled. it wasn't the first time that peter made you take a look at things that were either completely fine or he could fix himself. it made you wonder if he did it to make you even more jealous. "is something wrong with them?"

"i'm not sure" peter scratched his neck "you're better than me with those things, i'm sure you will notice if there is a problem" he was proud, he could flatter you with his answer

you had to smile. and if he just did all this to make you jealous, he was so nice, you couldn't even hate him for it.

after inspecting the shooters for a few minutes, you gave them back. "they seem fine to me"

"okay" peter said "thank you" he grabbed his things and left the room, looking at you for a last time, before he walked down the hallway

he had hoped that you would eventually get the hint. you were smart enough to know that he could fix any web-shooter problem himself, but he wasn't sure how to reach you if it hadn't to do with what you could do best. to peter's luck your social competence was at the same level as that of your father, you didn't even think that he would visit your lab just to see you and not to anger you

you took a look at the clock, noticing that it was almost time for dinner. you took off the lab coat and your gloves, before you made your way downstairs. today was sunday, which meant that the whole team would eat together.

before you walked into the big dining room, you made a stop at your family's apartment.

"alya?" you called. you opened the door to your sisters room. she was playing on the floor together with deke.

"i'm not quiet sure you should be doing this" you grabbed your sister from the floor. she was about two years old now.

"quality time with my mother, why not?" deke stood behind you while you changed alya out of her pyjama

"because your mother is a toddler right now" you rolled your eyes. "i'm sure nana and bobo would agree with me" you said sarcastically, using the nicknames deke always used with your parents

"only bobo would" he corrected "nana would think i'm the cutest"

"sure" you shrugged, adjusting alya on your hip "are you coming to dinner or are you gonna continue hiding in here?"

"like you do in your lab?" he asked

"that's not the same and you know that" you shook your head "i'm not hiding, i'm working and it's not like i don't want to be outside of this building"

"sure" deke followed you out of the apartment and down the hallway to the labs. you knocked on the door

"mum, dad" you called "dinner!"

"just think about it!" deke encouraged "meeting different people.. boys" he smirked

"stop talking like this" you shook your head, disgusted "you're my nephew"

"and currently i'm like fifteen years older than you" he shrugged "and what you need is a bit experience in terms of da-"

fitz had just stepped into the hallway at the same second and left deke no other choice than to finish his sentence differently

"-ta analysis"

fitz nodded proudly "he's right, monkey. there is no science without data analysis, it rolls off the tongue amazingly, don't you think?"

your mum, who had just left the room looked between her husband and grandson confused.

"let's just go to dinner" you suggested "maybe leave the lab coats"

your family walked down the hallway together. despite you being too late, the table was entirely empty except for peter and vision.

"huh?" fitz wondered

"a new mission?" jemma asked vision and took alya out of your arms to seat her in the high chair

"indeed, doctor simmons" vision nodded "the team has been called to an emergency. peter wasn't wanted, that is why he is here"

"thank you, vision" peter smiled sarcastically

the sarcasm didn't quiet reach vision though. "not a problem"

deke and you were the last two people standing. before you could react, deke had sat down beside vision, leaving the last avaible seat next to peter. of course the table was huge, but it would be weird to sit down away from the others, so you obligated.

deke motioned to peter with his eyes. 'experience in terms of dating' he mouthed

'shut up' you mouthed back, trying to ignore him for the rest of dinner.

"so.." peter turned to look at you "how is school going, ms genuis?"

"pretty good, i'd say" you laughed awkwardly, shoving a few fries into your mouth "my teachers are happy with my performance"

"don't be silly, darling" your mother chimed in "her teachers are astounished by her workload. but yours must be too, peter. tony tells me, you are quiet intelligent yourself"

"ehh, thank you, doctor simmons" peter smiled

"jemma is just fine" your mother looked between you and peter. she had noticed how you looked at each other

"okay" peter nodded "thank you, jemma"

"yeah, you can still call me agent fitz" your father smiled his typical smile that he would use on people he didn't like. he had just decided that he loathed the boy and definetly the way he was looking at his daughter

"fitz!" jemma scolded, but fitz just shrugged his shoulders

"i'm actually a big fan" peter said, making all heads turn to him "your work on agent coulsons team was incredible!" he complimented

"thank you, peter" jemma smiled flattered

"and y/n is so brilliant!" he went even further "she always helps me with my stuff and she invents incredible things!"

"she's amazing, we know that" fitz rolled his eyes. he was probably the proudest of you and knew how brilliant you were, he didn't need some boy to tell him

"be nice, bobo" deke smiled brightly at peter "peter, do you happen to have a girlfriend?"

fitz choked on his water, your eyes grew big, vision looked confused and peter laughed awkwardly

"n-no" he said "why do you ask?"

"whoa" fitz stood up from the table, dragging you out of your seat "look at the time! it's already so late. we have to get back to work, jemma" he pushed you towards your sister "would you get alya ready for her nap, y/n? and deke you'll help her, yeah?"

"i thought i wasn't allowed to take care of mum" deke said confused "paradoxon and all"

"just do it" fitz said aggressively

"see you, y/n!" peter could only say right before fitz pushed you and deke down the hallway, alya in your arms.

"what do you think about peter?" deke stood next to you, while you were busy putting alya into her romper

"i love petey!" alya giggled

"you don't" you shook your head at her "you don't even know him. what about him, deke?"

"he's cute, isn't he?"

"something you want to tell me?" you asked your nephew (yeah, definetly weird) while you put alya down in her crib and left the room, deke close behind you

"of course not for me. for you, nini" ever since you had found out about your relation he had called you that. just like he called you parents nana and bobo

"for me?" you wondered "you know that i don't even like him?"

"your eyes tell another story! you're always looking at him"

"because he can do everything i want to do!" you argued "i wish i could go outside and safe the world, but i'm always stuck in that stupid lab"

"you love science!" deke laughed, like he couldn't believe what you were saying "you're incredible at it!"

"i wish i wasn't" you sat down on the couch "maybe i could actually do something then" your eyes fell on the clock "i have to go back to the lab and finish some stats for uncle tony. don't play with your mother!" you quickly left the apartment, before deke could get another word in

"y/n, you're beautiful and funny" you looked around confused, before you noticed the sound coming out of your very own lab

"peter?" you asked when you opened the door and saw him standing in the middle of the room

"y/n!" peter exclaimed surprised "what are you doing here?"

"i work.. here?" you stepped into the room and closed the door behind you "another problem with the web-shooters?" you asked, grabbing your coat from it's hanger

"no, i actually came here to talk to you"

you raised your eyebrows

peter took a shaky breath "y/n" he said "you're beautiful and funny and incredibly brilliant"

you crossed your arms, confused in which direction this was going

"and i wanted to know if you'd go on a date with me?"

"a date?" you repeated, peter nodded "why?"

"w-why?" peter seemed like he did not think you would ask such a question

"you're a superhero" you reminded "why would you want to go out with me? you do know that i don't have any superpowers, right?"

peter almost had to laugh. you didn't seem like you were offended or sad that you wouldn't fit in the same social circle, but more like you couldn't crompehend why he would ask you out. just coming from a logical perspective

"i know" peter smiled "you're so much more than that! you're incredible at what you do, i wish i was that smart"

"but you are" you said, still confused "and you have super strength which is another pro"

"y/n" peter breathed "i don't think you understand what i'm trying to say"

"are you making fun of me?" you wondered "make me even more jealous?"

"jealous?" peter laughed "jealous of what? that i can maybe name the first ten numbers of pi?"

"that's not a lot" you mumbled

"i know!" peter laughed "that's what i'm saying! you're so much better at literally everything, why would you be jealous?"

"you're a hero"

"and you aren't?" peter's eyes grew soft as he noticed that you really didn't think of yourself as a hero, quite contrary to what he thought of you "how am i supposed to be a hero without my web-shooters or my suit? if you hadn't improved the shooters, i would've died last year. you don't seem to realize that your inventions save lives. not only my life, but those of the avengers, of thousands of people"

"thank you, peter" you smiled "but i don't do the actual saving"

"that's why we're a team, no one could do any saving without each other"

"i never thought about it like this" you said honestly. it was a bit like a weight had just been lifted off your shoulder. you never thought that anyone aprreciated or even noticed the work that you did in your lab. but peter had. just like you had always noticed everything about him. but only now did you realize that the feeling you had harboured wasn't envy, but love. you had loved him from the first moment on and you had loved him for what he was.

"i could never do what you do" you said "and that's okay"

"yeah" peter nodded "and you love what you do, don't you?" he stepped closer to you and you looked up at him. "did i ever tell you that you were beautiful?" he asked

"yeah" you breathed "like five minutes ago"

"no harm in saying it again" peter stepped even closer "can i kiss you?"

you nodded quickly. peter came even closer and planted a featherlight kiss onto your mouth

"i think i like you more than anyone i ever knew" you whispered "so much even i thought i should hate you"

peter paused, confused before he nodded "i'll take that. me too"

and with that he kissed you again. you deepened the kiss, your hands going into his hair, until you heard a beeping noise.

"what was that?" peter wondered

you looked behind him to confirm your suspicion "deke listened in through the baby monitor" you would keep it with you, because your lab was closest to the apartment and because your parents often couldn't check on alya when they were in the middle of an experiment. you didn't mind though, she almost never cried.

peter turned around to look at the monitor. deke was closer to the camera than you had wanted him to be, his face plastered over the entire display. "i'm so happy for you, nini!" he smiled brightly

"can he see us?" peter whispered

you shook your head "just ignore him"

peter laughed and kissed you again, while deke quickly pulled the plug of the monitor the moment he heard your lab coat hit the floor.

finally the next guts fic is out!! thank you guys so much for your patience!!!

Hii, I wanted to know if the Guts masterlist will continue or not??

yes it definitely will!! but there is no certain time frame, so i will mostly post when i have time :)

get him back!

pairing: jj maybank x fem!reader

summary: after breaking up with jj you weren't sure if you would like to burn his house down or heavily make out with him

warnings: fighting, break up, toxic relatinship

a/n: the ending is a bit serious, but i wanted them to do it the right was :)

poguelandia, summer of 2022, bonfire night

the night was warm and you were wearing your favorite dress, one your mother had gifted you, as you were watching the ocean with your red solo cup in hand. you had lost your friends a few minutes ago, but you weren't as drunk, so you didn't worry.

"beautiful, isn't it?" a voice next to you asked. you turned your head to look at the blonde boy.

you just shrugged. "it becomes boring after all those years"

he smirked. "you from around here?"

you just nodded, not really interested in a conversation with a stranger, hoping he would get the hint

"weird" he said "normally i know the people from here"

"cool" you took a sip from your cup

"not really interested in a conversation, huh?" the boy leaned forward to catch a glimpse of your face "what's your name?"

"at this point you purposefully ignore my desinterest, right?" you turned your body to look at him. he was handsome, you had to give him that. his hair was a bit too long and would occassionaly fall before his eyes, then he would push it back with a quick gesture. his eyes were even bluer than the ocean and under different circumstances you had probably found him cute, but now you were only annoyed.

"i'm jj" he didn't even acknowledge what you had said "and you are surely not a pogue"

"bye, jj!" you smiled at him sarcastically

"i bet i can guess your name" jj looked you up and down and you crossed you arms "you kooks only have those fancy names. is it abigail? or chicago? ashlynn? it's often something with lynn at the end"

you shook your head at each of his guesses. "listen" you said, finally having enough of this game "will you leave me alone if i tell you my name?"

he smirked, proud of his success, and nodded

"it's y/n"

jj's smile grew even bigger "what a truly beautiful name"

"bye, jj!" you repeated your words from earlier and gently pushed him in the direction of the singing crowd

"my last name is maybank, that would go so well with y/n, don't you think?"

and that was the end of the story, well.. not quiet. jj did leave you alone after you had just rolled your eyes at him once again, but you had found each other later in the evening, and you weren't sure what it was, but somehow he was charming and drunk enough to convinve you to go on a date with him and the rest was history.

poguelandia, 15 months later...

"at this point you're just disagreeing to disagree with me!" your screams rolled over the island and made the rest of the pogues turn their heads in your direction

"do you even hear yourself?" jj screamed back in the same volume "what you say doesn't even make sense"

"you well understand what i'm saying, you asshole"

"i'm literally not!" he raised his arms, a hint of innocence flying over his face, before it returned back to anger "do you ever not want to fight with me?"

"i want to fight?" you repeated angrily "you are the one that never voices what he wants!"

you saw him open his mouth to say something in protest, but didn't let him lose a word

"you get jealous as hell just to stare at some girl's ass half a second later!"

"come on, baby" he said, a lot calmer now "don't blow this out of proportion"

"don't call me baby, right now, jj" you freed your arms from his hold "don't call me in general, we're done"

"what the fuck, y/n?" jj looked between you and his friends. you did not react to his calling and just continued your way off the beach

"i think she said everything" said pope and kie, sarah and john b nodded as well. "you're not good for each other, jj"

"fuck" jj kicked the nearest thing he could find. making the beer can fly throught the air and empty over the sand

once you had left the beach behind you, you had walked to your car, getting in quickly and driving off to meet with your best friend. you searched through the list of contacts that your car displayed, until you could click on her name.

"y/n?" she asked confused "are you alright? i thought you were with jj? did something happen?"

you dragged your hand through your face, wiping away the streak of tears. "we broke up"

"oh, sweetheart!" amanda breathed

"i'm on my way to you, are you free?"

"of course" you could hear her walk through the room "drew is here, but i'll tell him to leave"

"it's fine" you said "he doesn't have to leave because of me"

"are you sure?"

"can i still come?"

"of course, as long as you don't mind him being there, i don't want you to be even sadder"

"i'm not sad" you shook your head "i'm so fucking angry"

"o-okay" she said quickly

"i'll see you in ten" with that you ended the call, turning at the nearest street. "and he always picks fights with me, just because he wants to disagree on something"

drew and amanda were sitting on the couch while you paced in front of them. drew was your best friends long term boyfriend (long term as in almost five years) and had grown to be like your brother.

"he's amazing when we don't fight, but apart from that it's just.." you stopped, not sure how to call it

"toxic?" drew raised his hand

"yes, thank you" you pointed at him "he exactly knows which buttons to push"

"yeah alright and what do you want to do now?" amanda asked

"huh?"

"i say you have two options for tonight: either we can stay here, watch a few movies and eat ice cream or we go to the beach party, get wasted and find someone you can make out with"

"ha!" drew called "i'm in favour of the second option!"

"me too" you smiled "but i need something to wear"

"amanda" drew turned to his girlfriend "get the slutty emerald dress you got last year"

amanda smiled brightly and quickly left the room to fetch the dress. "it's amazing" drew smiled "and it'll fit good with your hair"

amanda walked back into the room, presenting the dress to you, smiling. drew watched her attentively. it was in these moments that your friends reminded you of lily and marshall from how i met your mother. "go put it on" amanda encouraged and you did as you were told

the dress was gorgeous, was the first thing you thought. it was pretty short and looked fancy, but at the same time casual enough to wear to a beach party. apart from that it emphasized your figure and gave you a beautiful cleavage.

"wow" both of your friends said, once you had returned. "look at you" amanda touched your hip and quickly pulled her hand back, as if she had just burned herself

"that's what i was thinking" drew nodded and the couple high fived. he turned around to grab a bottle from the shelve "time for you two to get drunk, i'll drive"

"thanks drew" amanda and you chorused, while she grabbed the bottle to fill both of your glasses "let's turn up some taylor swift and get ready"

it was two hours later, when you and your friends arrived at the beach. amanda and you were pretty tipsy, but not totally drunk yet. it didn't take you long to catch sight of the group of pogues you knew all too well. jj was standing with his back in your direction, until pope nudged him at the arm, which caused him to turn around and look at you.

it looked like he wanted to talk to you, but john b held him back. you were thankful. it wasn't the first time jj and you had fought and he often made it hard for you to keep being angry at him.

"what are you looking--oh" amanda notice the sad look on your face. she knew that you loved him, in your own way, just like he loved you. but she knew even better that you weren't good for each other. this back and forth was only breaking you more day to day and she couldn't bear and watch it anymore. "you have to let him go. get him out of your head, make out with some boys, just-" she paused and you regonized the sincerity in her eyes "do something, please"

"i can't help it" you said, turning your head back to look at him "i hate and love him so much. i think he ruined me for anyone else" "and you think that is healthy?"

"far from it" you shook your head

"it's not always easy" amanda said softly, trying to cheer you up

"i know"

"can you promise me something, y/n?" amanda asked and you nodded "when you go back to him, and i know you will, try to work on it, for the sake of the both of you" she smiled gently "jj is a good guy, and neither of you deserves this"

"i know" you said once again, catching jj's eyes over the fire "i promise"

"good" amanda nodded in contentment and waved you off.

"hi" you held your cup in jj's direction "can you fill it up?"

"hey" he said, nodding "of course"

"can we talk?"

he nodded once again, leading you away from the crowd.

"i'm sorry" you said "this is the last time"

"what are you talking about?"

"do you want to get back together?" you put your hands around his neck and he nodded. "okay, me too. but this is the last time i'm coming back"

"what does that mean?"

"that means that if we break up again it's over" you explained

"it will only take a week, you know that, y/n" jj sighed

"no" you shook your head "if we're doing this again, we will do it right"

"we can never do it right" jj shook his head "we tried"

"i know" you nodded "but we need to try harder. i can't keep doing this and i know that you can't either"

"so what's the plan?"

"we fix it" you assured "we talk. we did way too less of that all those times. i want to make this work, jj"

"i want too"

"we need to be honest to each other" you smiled "we have to promise that to each other. i don't want to lose you. i love you"

"i love you too" he sighed "but sometimes you drive me crazy"

"i know" you admitted "you drive me crazy too. but we can't keep running away from our problems. in the future we need to discuss them"

"okay" jj breathed and then after a second "can i kiss you now?"

"you can"

all american bitch

pairing: anthony lockwood x fem!reader

summary: everyone knew there was something wrong in the way that quill talked to you, and slowly you started noticing as well

warnings: swearing, making out, sexual references, trauma, death of a relative and quill acting like a jerk

a/n: i don't particulary like quill in this fic and i'm not really sure if his character development (or the reasons why he did what he did) makes sense, but i just love to write happy endings, so please just ignore it lol

lockwood was doing what he did often, watching you sit on a stair, wating for your brother to come back, without moving a muscle.

"do you see that?" lockwood turned his head to look at george, pointing you out to his friend "he just lets her sit there and disappears for gods knows how long"

"it's a shame" george nodded and lockwood couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or genuine. "but everyone knows how he treats her, lockwood and it's her own decision, that she tolerates that. i don't think she would fancy you saving her"

lockwood decided to ignore the last thing george had said "how bad of a brother do you have to be for everyone else to know?"

george just shrugged and lockwood was ready to repeat what he had said (for the simple need of getting an answer), when lucy entered his field of vision and involuntary declared herself his new victim.

"thank you, george" lockwood patted his friends shoulder, while pushing his empty glass into the hands of one very confunsed george.

"do you see that?" lockwood stepped next to lucy, without bothering to think of a new introductory sentence.

"huh?" lucy turned her head to the side, confused by lockwoods sudden appearance. "what did you say?"

lockwood pointed in your direction and lucy followed his eyes

"y/n?" lucy asked, not sure what lockwood was saying

"yeah, y/n" lockwood nodded aggravated "just y/n" he took a glass of champagne from one of the servers trays, downing it at once. "he left her waiting again. i thought maybe you could go talk to her, you being a girl and all"

lucy rolled her eyes, glaring at the boy "you want me to go over there and tell her to not accept her brother treating her horribly?"

"precisely"

"her brother who's a decorated member at fittes?"

lockwood nodded again "forget it" lucy shook her head, laughing dryly "i'm not getting involved in quill kipps' mess"

"it's y/n's mess too!" lockwood said angrily, outstretching his arm and pointing his hand in your direction

"why don't you go over there?" lucy crossed her arms, smiling triumphantly.

"because it's not my business?" lockwood said a bit too fast, not thinking his answer through. lucy send him a blank stare. "yeah, i'll just go over there" lockwood said quickly, not in the mood to fight with lucy and lose once again

"yeah, you better" lucy waved at him

lockwood groaned under his breath, putting his empty glass on an abondened table, before he continued his walk in your direction. as always, you were looking beautiful. your hair was curled and your dress had the most beautiful maroon color he had ever seen.

you turned your head in his direction, noticing him, when he was a few meters away. it wouldn't have taken a genius to see that anthony lockwood was in love with you, and still you had never noticed.

"hey" lockwood smiled, holding out his hand to help you up "you shouldn't be sitting on those stairs, your dress might get ruined"

"oh, well, quill has been gone for some minutes and it was too tiring to stand this entire time"

"why don't you join our table, then?" lockwood suggested

you looked through the crowd of people, trying to find quill. you laughed, unsurely, before you finally nodded "it probably wouldn't hurt" you smiled, taking him up on his offer and following him through the crowd.

"hey guys!" you smiled once your sight fell on george and lucy. both of them just stared back at you with big eyes. "sorry" you scratched your arm "do i have something on my face?" george quickly shook his head, while lucy stayed motionless in place

finally. "lockwood" lucy said through gritted teeth "could i talk to you for a second?"

you send a confused look in lockwoods direction, who just smiled at you, totally unaffected by lucy's threatening tone. "why don't you sit down with george?" he pulled back one of the chairs for you to sit down "we'll be back in just a second"

you nodded, sitting down on the chair. lockwood and lucy didn't really walk far until they started discussing. you could make out some words like 'kipp's mess' and 'saviour complex' that lucy directed at lockwood.

you smiled awkwardly at george. "how do you.. like the party this far?"

"eeh, it's fine" george looked anywhere but at you

"food and drinks are free" you smiled, nudging him "that sounds a bit better than just fine, doesn't it?"

george shrugged, seemingly uninterested in holding up a conversation with you and before you could start another hopeless attempt to get him to speak, lockwood and lucy were already back. by the looks of it they were not able to sort out their differences.

lucy sat down in the chair next to george, crossing her arms and sending looks at lockwood that could've killed.

lockwood, absolutely unbothered, didn't even look at her. instead he was watching you. "do you want to eat something?" he asked "we haven't ordered anything yet"

you shook your head "nah, i promised quill that we would eat together"

"how long has he been gone for?" lockwood asked intrigued

you shrugged your shoulders "i don't know, an hour maybe?"

"woah, that's pretty long, right guys?" lockwood looked between george and lucy, obviously expecting some type of reaction. lucy ignored him completely, while george nodded slowly, unsure if he wanted to even get involved in whatever lockwood was doing.

you shook your head "it's fine. i don't mind waiting"

"you can stay with us" lucy smiled at you and made it perfectly clear, that she wasn't angry at you, but lockwood. you always liked lucy. she was welcoming and you loved to listen to her complain about her two male roommates.

with george you didn't really have a relationship. you were friendly towards each other but never really talked apart from that.

and lockwood? lockwood something different. your brother hated him, so you weren't really allowed to spend any time in his company, apart from when they would fight with each other. but he was always nice and you could call him a friend. you had done your best to prevent it, but you had also developed a little crush on him these past few years. something quill would have your head for if he knew. but lockwood was your chance of freedom. he was everything your brother despised and that just made it all the more daunting.

"lockwood" the voice behind you send shivers down your spine.

"kipps" lockwood smiled, overly satisfied, while he turned around in his chair, putting an protective arm on yours and blocking your brothers contact to you.

"y/n" quill muttered "didn't i tell you to wait there?" he poined across the room

you sighed silently "sorry" you patted lockwoods leg "we were just catching up and you were gone for some time, so i thought-" you didn't get to finish that sentence

"what the fuck do you not understand in 'wait here'?" quill was angry and you didnt want to fight. but before you could say sorry again, lucy jumped to your rescue.

"this is all your fault" she muttered under her breath, seemingly talking to lockwood before she turned her head to your brother "i'm really sorry" she smiled brightly "i thought y/n and i could talk a bit. i miss having a girl around"

"oh" quill said confused. his anger had suddenly evapurated. he didn't really mind you spending time with girl generally or lucy in particular. "well, i didn't know that" he averted his eyes. "i'll be at our table. see you there" he walked away and you knew that this was him telling you to be there in less than ten minutes or something would happen

"does- does he always talk to you like that?" george asked hesitantely. you could see on his face that he was unsure if he wanted an answer to that. he probably didn't even want to involve himself in anything that was about you.

"yeah" you muttered, a bit ashamed of the way your brother acted even in front of other people "at least since i'm living with him"

"why don't you just leave?" lucy leaned over the table, confusion evident on her face

"i won't" you said honestly "after our dad died, my mother wasn't able to finance my schooling, but quill was. i owe him something"

"you don't owe him anything" lockwood shook his head "don't you ever get angry at the way he treats you"

"more often than you would think" you eyes wandered across the room. quill was telling some fittes guy a story. he was laughing and widely gesturing. you couldn't remember the last time he had laughed in your presence. "he didn't always used to be like this. our father and him were close and it took a toll on him"

"you're still his sister" lucy reminded

"oh, i know that" you smiled sadly "i wouldn't have stayed if i wasn't"

"how long are you planning to stay?"

you shrugged your shoulders. "as long as i have to. i'll save some money until i have enough to pay him back and rent something"

lockwood looked at his friends. eyebrows raised. you could see the gears turning in their heads, before lucy repeatedly shook her head. george didn't seem happy as well. lockwood turned back to you

"how would you liked to work at lockwood and co?" he asked, beaming "you could move in with us, save money to pay your brother back and not have to indulge his presence. i hear you're pretty good with sight"

you were stunned at his suggestion "do you really mean that?" you asked hopeful

"yeah, lockwood" lucy raised her eyebrows, daring him to answer "do you really mean that?"

"of course" lockwood smiled "we want to help you, right guys?" lucy and george both averted their eyes. you noticed the growing tension

"you really don't have to" you said "i don't think george or lucy are too convinced. i can take another year or two with quill"

as if on cue, quill made his way across the venue. "shit" you whispered as soon as you noticed him moving closer. you did the first thing you could think of, knowing he would cause a scene as soon as he had found you. you took lockwoods hands, dragging him in the other direction quickly.

you two ended up in a broom closet. of all places.

"did you meant to walk into a broom closet?" lockwood asked behind you

"of course not" you opened the door slowly "well. it's too late now anyway" you closed the door again and leaned your back against it

"okay, why are we here exactly?" lockwood made a gesture to open the door, but you pushed him back slightly

"my brother would've caused a scene if he had found me"

"alright" lockwood said, but then raised his brows "and he wouldn't if he found you here?"

you suddenly noticed how you had brought yourself into an even worse situation. lockwood and you were standing pretty close to each other. you could feel his breath fanning over your cheek and you nodded. "he totally would" you laughed and lockwood joined in "he hates you guts"

"can't say i particulary like him" lockwood admitted shamelessly "but he has a beautiful sister"

"well, thank you" you could feel the redness entering you cheeks. at least it was a bit darker in here "he probably would cut my head off if he found us here. even if i told him that it isn't what it looks like"

"well, what does it look like?" lockwood muttered, even closer now

you looked up at him with big eyes. he almost falted under that look. he wanted to kiss you so badly and he was wishing you would indicate the same

"i mean- eh it does look pretty compromising"

"does it now?"

"yeah" your voice had jumped a pitch higher at his close proximity. but you couldn't help but wish for him to finally kiss you. "please" you muttered

"what do you want, darling?" he asked softly, pushing one strand of hair behind your ear.

"please" you repeated "kiss me"

lockwood didn't wait for a second demand. he closed the space between you, interlocking your lips. he tasted sweet, a bit like marshmallows and you smiled into the kiss. your hands wandered to his neck, pushing him impossibly closer, while his hands wandered to your lower back, returning the pressure you were exerting.

he pressed you against the door and you voluntarily opened your mouth for his tongue to enter. faster than you had expected, he broke the kiss, sloppily kissing your neck instead

"shit" you muttered lowly. you quickly gripped his neck, pushing his face away from your neck and back to your mouth. you continued that play for at least ten minutes, when you suddenly remembered why you had been hiding here in the first place

"thank you for your offer" you said, breathlessly "but i can do it for a bit longer"

"is he ever gonna stop treating you this way?" lockwood kissed your temple

"i don't know" you shrugged "but i will talk to him. you guys were right, i shouldn't just accept it. my father died too"

"i'll be here anytime you need me" lockwood assured "or anytime you just want to make out"

you smiled brightly at the boy, pecking his lips, before you opened the door to the closet. "time for the real world, pretty boy"

"i like the sound of.." lockwood interrupted himself. right before the very door you had come out of, now watching your flustered faces distastefully, was standing none other than quill kipps

"what the fuck" he said angrily when he had connected the dots. you were ready to tell him that nothing had happened, but suddenly remembered that that wouldn't be the whole truth

"hey" you smiled, unsure what to say in your defence

"y/n" quill said slowly, and you were glad that the room was outside of the ballroom. the guests or anyone else wouldn't hear him scream at you. "did you two just fuck in there?" you could almost see smoke coming out of his ears. his eyes had fallen to to strap of your dress, that was now hanging at your elbow. you quickly fixed it

"what?" you asked surprised "no, of course not" you knew lockwood was smiling without looking at him. he put his arm around you, pulling you closer at your waist.

"you're not speaking to your sister in that tone" he declared and you send him a wide eyed look. it was hard enough for you to stand up for quill, but he definitely would never listen to lockwood of all people

"yeah, or what?"

"watch yourself" lockwood was angry now, too. "she's still your sister"

"and you are?" quill crossed his arms "you're no one, nothing to her at all"

"leave him alone" you muttered. you had never once even protested at what your brother had said at you, but it was different when he spoke to lockwood that way

"what the fuck did you just say?" quill asked surprised, he had forgotten his anger for the time to be

"you heard me" you said a bit louder now "and you heard him too. you can change your tone when speaking to me"

"ooh" quill laughed "the little miss is making demands"

"i tolerated it long enough" you reminded him "i understood you were griefing, but so was i. you never had any sympathy towards me, so why would i still have any for you? especially since you're ordering me around like your little maid" lockwood squeezed your side

"who put a roof over your head? who payed for everything and anything you needed?"

"you did"

"right" quill smiled smugly

"and i'm thankful for you doing all of that for me. i never even complained, but all of it does not warrant you treating me the way you do"

"watch what you're saying" quill pointed his finger at you accusingly "i prepared you for the real world, i brought you up and you go and throw all of it away for some boy. why do you act like a slut"

the gasp that left lockwoods mouth could've been loud enough for everyone outside the building to hear

"how dare you call me that?" tears entered your eyes slowly. lockwood was pulling up his sleeves, ready to fight the older boy, but you held his arm down. "i'm still your sister" you reminded quill, who looked a bit remorseful at your tears

he sighed, turning away, before he looked back at you "i didn't mean it like that. you're making it hard for me to trust you when you walk off and sleep with the enemy as soon as i leave you own your own"

"i didn't even sleep with him" you screamed angrily. quills eyes had grown big. never in your life had you ever screamed at him. "but if i wanted to i could, because i'm almost an adult"

"you're a kid" quill spat "and it's my job to take care of you. make sure that you turn out well and not get yourself knocked up at seventeen"

"oh my god" you groaned "i didn't sleep with anyone" you repeated once again

"i know" quill said surprisingly soft "but mum did. she ended up pregnant and without any degree in anything. and now, after dad’s death she has nothing to support you with, not even herself. i want you to make different decisions, to be smart and learn something, before you lose focus and fall in love"

you sighed "i understand that" you turned your head to look at lockwood, smiling slightly "but i think it's already too late"

quill sighed as well.

"you didn't have to treat me the way you did" you said "you could've just been honest with me, you know?"

"i know" quill nodded "but i was never good at these things.." he paused, tears briming at the corners of his eyes "dad was"

"i miss him too" you admitted, your voice breaking "and i hate what his death did to you. you weren't always like this"

quill nodded and couldn't bring himself to look you in the eyes. you were right about this, he knew you were. but he had just tried to make a good person out of you. he knew that it wasn't an excuse, but he was working in a dangerous field and he thought that if he would be distant and mean, you wouldn't mourn his death as much as you had did your dad's. "i'm sorry" quill said truthfully and you could see the remorse in his eyes

"i don't want to hate you"

quill nodded

"but you have to be better. an apology alone is not enough. i love you but i'm not beneath receiving any love back" you told him "you have to change the way you treat me, honestly quill, it's not okay" slowly, but determinated, you stepped closer to hug him.

you couldn't remember the last time you had done that. you had missed you brothers warmth. he had always been a good brother, before all this mess had happened and you knew you could forgive him eventually. both of you had taken far too long to have an honest conversation

"we will fix it, i promise" quill muttered into your hair and you nodded, before you losened the hug.

quill's eyes fell upon lockwood. he send him a nod. "thank you for being nice to her"

lockwood contemplated to scatter salt into the wound by saying something along the lines of 'i was just doing what you apparently couldn't', but then instead he just nodded. "of course"

quill smiled tightlipped, before he turned back to you. "and once we get home, we will have a very important conversation"

"quill" you laughed uncomfortably and your brother laughed as well. the sound send shivers down your spine and you had rarely been this happy. for the first time in a long time it seemed like everything would become good again.

"i'll call you" you smiled in lockwoods direction, before you followed your brother out of the estate.

not because he had told you, but because you just wanted to and that was a very good feeling.

pretty isn't pretty

pairing: anthony lockwood x fem!reader

summary: he was showering you in compliments all while you felt like you weren’t pretty enough

warnings: low self esteem, mentions of grief, bad thoughts

a/n: this is actually bad. i really feel that i am not really able to write for lockwood anymore, but i’m trying to write these last few fics to the best of my abilities, promise :)

you were looking through the magazine, comparing everything about you to these gorgeous women, plastered over the pages. always beautiful, always perfect.

you sighed, knowing that you would never come even close to that.

anthony lockwood was the kind of boyfriend who showered you in complements from morning to night and still you wondered if he meant what he said.

you hated yourself for thinking that. but there was a small part in your brain that loved to question anything and everything. the clothes you were wearing, the make up, how you looked and how you didn't look and of course your relationship.

it wasn't like you wanted to question everything anthony said to you, but you felt like you had to. he told you you were beautiful three times a day and sometimes you wondered if he meant it or just needed to persuade himself of that.

the relationship with anthony was the first real long and healthy relationship you had. the boys that had come before him were never a mere possibility, and it seemed the reason for that had always been you.

never giving enough, never wanting enough and most importantly, never being enough.

it felt like there was always someone better. someone more loving, someone more needing and someone prettier.

the relationship with anthony was so good, you almost couldn't believe it. probably why your head always tried to convince you it was too good to be true. as if everything you had could suddenly slip away if you stopped working on yourself.

you didn't want him to slip away. but you also didn't want him to be in a relationship with someone who he felt wasn't enough for him.

it was a constant balance between happiness and self doubt and you were so tired of it. it was like a constant companion, turning every good moment into a situation for you to analyze.

it was exhausting to say the least and without you noticing, anthony became aware of something going on with you too.

"what are you doing?" you looked up at the voice and noticed anthony leaning over the couch behind you

"reading a magazine" you raised the magazine in your hands

anthony sighed, knowing which thoughts were running through your head. “i know what you’re thinking” he said softly, nudging your shoulder in a comforting way

“you do?” you asked surprised. you had thought that you had been subtle, successfully keeping the doubts in your head unnoticeable for him.

he nodded his head, rounding the couch and sinking into the fabric next to you. he took the magazine and closed it, throwing it on the table. “of course i know” he muttered and you saw the hurt in his eyes.

you weren’t sure if he was hurt because you were thinking what you were or because you had been keeping it from you.

“you know that you can tell me anything, right?” his brown eyes almost made you cry

“i know” you sighed, ashamed at the conversation you were having right now, ashamed her that you even though what you were thinking “i’m sorry for keeping it from you”

“i know you don’t do it to hurt me” anthony said “but it still hurts. as if there was a part of you, not even i am allowed to see”

“it’s shameful”

“no it isn’t” he shook his head “i love everything about you, even the hard things, especially the hard things”

your lip shivered. “sometimes i don’t think i deserve you”

“that’s rubbish” anthony took your hand in his “do you remember my parents death anniversary? i was ugly crying the entire day and you never left my side. i was ashamed of that for a long time”

“you were?” you asked surprised, never really getting the thought that he might have similar insecurities plaguing his mind

“of course”

“well i never even thought it was weird or wrong. i know how much you love your parents, i could never make you feel ashamed for how you feel about them”

“exactly” anthony said “and with you it’s the same way. anything we think is shameful makes the other love us even more, don’t you understand? you don’t have to be perfect for me to love you.. i love you even more because you aren’t” he assured “that doesn’t mean your feelings are not valid! it’s okay to not always feel good about things, but it’s important that you tell me about it, alright? how should i be able to help you when you don’t tell me what’s wrong?”

you smiled at him and squeezed his hand. “i love you” you kissed his cheek “and you really don’t mind to speak about it?”

he shook his head “never” he assured “i love you”

vampire

pairing: rafe cameron x fem!reader

summary: you tried to make him feel better, you really did, but love isn’t always able to heal everything

warnings: toxic relationship, manipulation, mistrust, both reader and rafe are hurting, a teeny bit of physical violence at the end

note: there is a bit more fluff at the end then there was so supposed to be lmao

tag: @mqstermindswift

word count: 2.4k

the golden hue of the sun was bathing your skin in its warm softness as you stared across the waves that hit the beach in a steady rhythm.

"you're back" a voice behind you made you perk up and you noticed rafe cameron. his hair had grown a bit since the last time you had seen him. he was wearing worn out trunks and a white shirt, which were both wet and had stains of the sand all over.

without waiting for your answer or any form of allowance, he sank down in the sand beside you. "how are you?" his voice was tender, although a bit unsurely.

"fine" you shrugged. you had left the island right before your parents had gotten divorced, spending a few months at your aunts house to try and process all the events.

"good" rafe nodded "me too" you turned your head to look at him and you recognized the hint of a smirk. he knew that you hated to talk about it, or your feelings regarding the divorce. now it had just been a normal question you would ask a friend you hadn't seen in a long time.

"how's the water?" you asked, pointing at the wetness of his shirt.

"warm" rafe grinned and rose back to his feet, making a gesture for you to follow him into the waves.

you spent the whole evening, swimming and chasing each other through the water, until it was pitch black and rafe drove you home.

"can i call you?" he asked, right before you went inside. it was not like you weren't already friends, but you could recognize that he meant the question in a more intimate way. you nodded.

"rafe cameron?" your friend, lia, asked as you told her about him calling and hanging out with you a few times, a week later.

"yeah" you shrugged "he's different, less childish"

"well, he's not seven anymore, right?" lia exclaimed with a roll of her eyes "he's bad news, y/n" she warned "i heard he had a lot of problems, especially with his father and he often goes too far because of it"

"he's always been respectful"

"until he isn't anymore" she said worriedly "look, you're old enough to decide this for yourself, just be careful please"

lia's words moved more and more into the background of your mind as the months passed and you and rafe started dating.

dating rafe was adventurous and never boring, he took you out and showed you places you had never thought of going.

you couldn't have asked for a better boyfriend. he was lovely and attentive. he made you gifts (not that you would've been mad if he hadn't) and proved that he really know what you were into. he plannes dates and invited you to tag along with him and his friends.

it couldn't have been more perfect, until it wasn't.

it started slowly, like it always does.

you had accompinied lia and her boyfriend to a party, well thinking that rafe would come around later. he didn't make it and when you came to search for him later, he was screaming at you.

"what's wrong, baby?" you asked as you noticed the look he was giving you when he opened the door.

"nothing" he shook his head, walking into the house. you closed the door and were hot on his heels.

"something is wrong" you pressed "why are you acting like this? did something happen? you didn't even kiss me"

"oh sorry, sweetheart" he replied in a sarcastic tone "do you feel disrespected?"

"what?" you asked, confused at what he was hinting.

"well, i sure as hell did, when you went to that party without me!" he screamed, pushing his hair away in frustration, his cheeks reddened from anger.

"you said you'd come later" you defended yourself, not that it was necessary, but he gave you the feeling it was.

"you should've gone home when you noticed that i wasn't going to come"

"what the fuck, rafe?" you questioned, your anger now matching his.

he sighed, wiping his face with both hands. "i just- sorry, okay?" it was as if he had suddenly realized how ridiculous his accusment and anger was. "i'm just tired and irritated and thought you would come sooner"

you sighed too, losing most of your anger as you breathed in and out deeply. "this was not okay"

"i know" he nodded eargerly "will you stay?"

you thought for a moment, before you finally nodded, following him up the stairs to his room.

the fighting only got worse and more frequent over the months to follow. he would make ridiculous requests, possessive ones, accusing you of cheating or that you thought about breaking up with him. neither of that was true of course and he often felt sorry just a few minutes into the fight. it was as if he had been blindsighted, as if he was corrupted by an invisible force, whispering lies into his ears, until he wasn't sure what was the truth anymore.

you felt alone anytime that happened. you loved him, so so much, but you wouldn't accept being disrespected because he was insecure about you possibly leaving him.

he was so scared that you would break up with him, the only thing he was seeing was range.

you wasn't sure what was responsible for him feeling the way that he did. you had tried to find something in his past, like an ex-girlfriend cheating or betraying him in any way, but he assured you that that had never happened. he had normally been the one to end the relationships, which made you wonder all the more.

"you're different" he said to you one night. "it doesn't feel like a relationship, it doesn't feel like a responsibility with you"

"what does it feel like?" you asked, your hand holding his underneath the blanket. you couldn't see his face. the room was dark and you were laying with your head on his chest.

you could hear his heartbeat calm "it feels like breathing" he admitted softly "and i'm scared that i will suffocate when it's over"

"you won't" you assured "because it won't be"

"i have done so much wrong these past few months"

"i know" you answered "but love is forgiving and i am too"

that had been the end of your fighting for a while. he had bettered himself, pushing whatever part of him felt the need to scream at you, down, until there was just peace between the two of you.

he became a lot less controlling. and you hoped that after all, staying had been worth it.

you couldn't have guessed that just one single evening could trigger everything he had tried to get rid of so suddenly.

"i didn't do anything!" you were screaming defensively as soon as you got home that evening. rafe was seething ever since jj maybank had complimented your dress.

"you clearly smiled at him"

"i smiled at him?" you repeated in fake surprise "i mean how could i, right?"

"this is not funny, y/n" rafe argued and his anger only seem to grow as he noticed that you didn't even take the situation seriously.

"it is a little bit funny" you admitted "you're acting like an idiot"

"and you're acting like a slut" you could see that he regretted the word, but did not say anything else.

you laughed sarcastically "well, if that is how you see me, why are we even together?" you asked, crossing your arms.

"i'm asking myself the same thing"

"okay, great" you screamed as you tried to stop the tears from flowing over your cheeks "this is it then, right?" you didn't wait for his answer, as you grabbed your phone and jacket and walked in the direction of the door.

"y/n" rafe called, but you ignored him. you didn't stop walking until he quickly catching up with you, standing in between you and the door. "don't be difficult" his anger had subsided momentarily.

"me? being difficult?" you couldn't believe his audacity "you're the one that always has a problem, remember?"

"i worked on that"

"yeah" you nodded sarcastically "you made great progress"

"let us talk, yeah?" he pleaded "we've both said things we didn't mean"

"you might have, but i meant everything i said" you protested, pointing an accusing finger to his chest "and i'm tired of always catering to your hurt feelings, your so damn insecure and i hate that you always give me the fault for everything"

"y/n" rafe repeated his pleading "come on, you know i'm still working to fix that"

"maybe you should think about how ridiculous every fight you start is, before you start them. you would have to apologize a lot less"

"i'm sorry" he said "let's go to bed"

"no, rafe" you shook your head, moving your arm, so his hand would lose it's grip "you're not listening to me, i'm done, okay? i'm not letting you treat me like this anymore"

"it was just this one relapse" rafe argued, his voice raising "it won't happen again"

"i know" you said "because i won't let it happen again. you had enough chances already and you blew them everytime and i still stayed, but i have had enough"

"you don't get to leave me like that" he stepped to the side after you had done the same, trying to walk around them to get to the door.

"oh, i get to do what i please now that i have no one whining about it anymore" you crossed your arms, trying to side step him again, but he followed suit "let me go, rafe"

his cheeks were reddened from anger, as he shook his head "you're not thinking rationally. i won't let you decide this before you can think rational again"

"you're not my dad"

"i'm your boyfriend"

"not anymore" you shook your head and scrunched your brows as his anger only grew. he grabbed your wrist.

"you don't mean that"

"let go of me, rafe" you pleaded, a bit fear swinging in your voice now "you're hurting me"

"tell me that you won't leave me" rafe pleaded angrily, tears running over his cheeks and you were feeling a bit pity for him.

"i can't" you muttered, a lot less smug "i already left you, rafe"

"you can take it back" he promised as if to assure you. his fingers pressed into your wrist and you were sure they would leave marks.

"i won't" you caught his eyes and could see the heartbreak in them. but still, there was so much anger. anger he couldn't even control himself.. how where you supposed to do it? "please, rafe. you're hurting me"

rafe recognized the pain in your eyes and he let go of your wrist. "i'm sorry, i don't know--" he tried to excuse, but you shook your head, holding your wrist with your other hand.

"don't say the same thing you do every time" you asked of him "just this last time, don't be like that"

"you're really done? you're not gonna think about it?" he asked softly and it was like you were talking to a whole different person.

a weight lifted off your shoulders from his words. they made you realize that you were free. all the manipulation you had to endure, all the happiness he had robbed from you. after a year of all of that you were just tired, but now you didn't have to do it anymore, you could leave.

"it's my final decision, rafe" you said and you could see the contemplation in his eyes "please, just accept that. don't plead with me, don't do something that will make you or me feel even more uncomfortable"

"i won't" he nodded, but his tone was regretful. you opened the door, after he had stepped to the side. "i love you"

"bye, rafe"

you left the garden of the cameron house and did not look back once. you felt his eyes on you until you were out of sight and you sighed in relief.

the golden hue of the sun was bathing your skin in its warm softness as you stared across the waves that hit the beach in a steady rhythm.

you had spend the last few months of summer with your dad, who had moved away from the outer banks, only returning at the start of the new season.

"you're back" a voice behind you said and you felt like you were living a deja-vu

"yeah" you smiled, holding a hand over your eyes so you could block the sun away. rafe looked good, better than he did after your breakup. both of you had had a hard time processing everything.

his hair was wet and shorter than when you had last seen him. he was only wearing trunks, his tshirt a scrunched up ball of fabric in his hand.

"how are you?" he asked, but did not sit down beside you.

"i'm good" you smiled.

"me too" he answered without you having to ask him. "i had hoped to see you sooner, honestly. i just wanted to apologize for, well, everything. i did you wrong and you didn't deserve that"

you were proud of his honesty, but you wouldn't coddle him. "you're right i didn't" you nodded "our relationship wasn't perfect and you often made it hard for me"

"i know" he nodded, regret plaguing his features. "i wish i could change the way i treated you"

"i wish love could've fixed us"

"yeah, me too" he closed his eyes and you both listened to the sound of the waves crashing at the shore. "it was good to see you, y/n"

"you too, rafe" you smiled and watched as turned away and started walking back to his car. "don't be a stranger" you called after him, and you could hear him laugh and nod.

there was a lot you still had to process about your relationship, but after all of it you just hoped that both of you would be alright some day. that you would be able to get rid of all the effects his constant manipulation and mistrust had left on you. and that he would get the help he needed, realizing that people loved him because they did, not because he had to fulfill certain requirements. also, love definitely wasn't something you could just lose from one second to another.

you just hoped that there was healing for the both of you...

teenage dream

pairing: george karim x fem!reader

summary: one part of you loved fighting ghosts and doing your jobs, the other isn’t so sure if that’s really the right thing for you

warnings: none, but kinda sad, no fluff at the end like usual :(

you were moving through the room frantically, trying to fight the ghost to the best of your abilities.

george called your name repeatedly, before you turned your head, noticing that he was ready to throw the salt bombs. you quickly stepped aside, leaving room for him to throw them at the type two.

just after the ghost reappeared in the corner of the room, he suddenly disappeared, probably because lucy and lockwood had found the source.

george picked up his rapier, that he had lost at the beginning of the fight, before he stepped next to you, your eyes still fixated on where the ghost had last appeared.

"are you alright?" it took a few seconds for his question to register in your mind, before you nodded. "good" he smiled, but you could see a hint of disbelief in his features. "let's go" he took your hand and both of you walked into the entryway of the haunted house.

lucy and lockwood just came down the stairs when you arrived.

"is that it?" lucy asked and lockwood shrugged, before he finally nodded.

"i think so" he looked around the room, before his eyes eventually landed on you "do you still feel anything, y/n?"

your mind had drifted off and only focused when you heard him call your name. "what?" you asked, not missing the worried expression of george.

"do you still feel anything? any hints of another ghost?" lockwood repeated his question and you shook your head. "great, the one ghost was also all mrs wheeler mentioned so we should be finished" he turned around and walked into the kitchen where he collected the rest of your stuff, lucy helping him.

"are you sure, you are alright?" george asked you once your friends were out of ear shot "everyone of us has been unwell after a mission before, it's normal"

"i'm not unwell" you losely protested "i'm fine, just tired"

"okay" george decided it was no use to press further into the matter. you would talk to him as soon as you felt ready.

"let's go home then" lucy and lockwood carried the huge dufflebags you had brought to the mission. both george and you nodded, before either of you helped one of the others to carry the stuff.

over the next few weeks, george did not notice any strange behaviour from you. he decided that it had just been a matter of tiredness and had resolved by itself.

"happy birthday, dear y/n" the whole of lockwood and co were singing when you came down the stairs into the kitchen.

george had made a beautiful cake, decorated in your favorite colour, candles forming the number 19 in the middle. lucy lightened the candles just as you sat down.

"blow them out" lockwood encouraged.

"and don't forget your wish" lucy added, raising a finger.

you did as you were told, blowing out the candles, while your friends broke out into cheering.

"happy birthday" george muttered, plastering a kiss on your cheek and one on your mouth when you turned your head. he furrowed his eyebrows when he noticed the almost heartbroken expression on your face, but quickly forgot about that as the smile returned to your face.

"thank you guys" you smiled as lucy started cutting the cake.

it was only after that day that george noticed you acting differently more often. you would stay in bed on days were you weren't booked. you would come too late to team meetings or forgot to show at all.

george grew more and more worried and the rest of the team also started noticing that something wasn't right.

george understood that whatever was going on with you, might've been not something you liked to talk about with lucy and lockwood, but he was your boyfriend. though you had created so much space between the two of you, he wasn't sure what to make of it anymore.

he wanted to give you time to sort out whatever was plaguing your mind, when all came crushing down on a particularly dangerous mission.

"today was close" lucy said when you came back that day. her voice was just a whisper as her, george and lockwood watched you walk up the stairs to your room without another word.

"you have to talk to her" lockwood advised, touching george's arm as if to assure his sympathy.

"i don't know what to say" george said honestly "she won't even talk to me and i don't want to press a topic she doesn't want to talk about"

"but you have to" lucy protested "next time it won't be a window that get's destroyed but one of our heads"

"we wouldn't ask this of you, if it wasn't important" lockwood sighed, feeling for his friend and the complicated situation he was in.

george nodded, watching after his friends that walked up the stairs. he resumed to the kitchen, knowing that you would come down most days, making yourself tea, before you would go to bed.

you opened the door to the kitchen just half an hour later, not expecting george to sit at the table, sipping on his own tea.

your eyes were dull and your shoulders slumped. george's heart ached at the sight of you. he couldn't ignore it any longer.

"the water is still hot" he muttered, pointing to the kettle on the stove. "can we talk?" he asked, once you had filled your cup and sat down next to him.

you paused in your movement of stirring the tea, looking up at him with a mixture of exhaustion and resignation. "yeah, sure."

"what's been going on with you?" george asked softly. "you've been so distant lately, you're not yourself. i feel like i'm losing you."

you took a deep breath, your eyes welling up with tears you had tried so hard to suppress. "george, i... i don't know how to say this."

"just say it," he urged, his voice gentle but firm. he was scared of what was to follow, but he had to know, even if it was something he never hoped to hear. "whatever it is, i'm here for you."

you looked away, staring at the floor as if it could provide you with the right words, shame bubbling in your chest. "i've been feeling... lost. like, really lost. i look at my life and i see nothing but ghosts and danger. i feel like i've wasted my youth fighting something that never ends."

george's brows furrowed, his heart clenching at your words. "what do you mean? you're amazing at what you do. we need you."

you shook your head, a tear slipping down your cheek. "but at what cost, george? i look at other people our age, living normal lives, having fun, and i wonder... what if that could've been me? what if i'm missing out on my own youth?"

george reached out, taking your hand in his. "you're not missing out. we're doing something important, something that matters. and we're doing it together."

"but that's just it" you whispered, your voice breaking. "i don't know if i can keep doing this"

"everyone feels lost sometimes, that's part of being a teenager, it's gonna get better" you wished his reassuring words had some effect on you, but they didn't.

"but what if i don't?" your words were just above a whisper.

george's heart ached for you and the pain between your words and in your eyes. his breath hitched, tears gathering in his own eyes. just like you had feared, he didn't have an answer to your question.

"i love you george" you said softly "but i have to find out what i want and who i am, outside of this life. i'm sorry, i wish there was nothing wrong with me, but there is"

george's heart sank at your confession. "there's nothing wrong with you" he tried to assure once again.

"maybe not, but i have to find that out on my own"

"i wish i could do something to help you" george cried "i wish i could fix this mess"

"i know" you said. "but you just have to let me go, let me do this, please"

"i understand. i hate it, but i understand" george nodded "you've given so much of yourself to this job, to us. if you need to find yourself, then... i can't hold you back."

you looked at him, your eyes filled with gratitude and sorrow. "thank you for understanding. this doesn't mean goodbye forever. i just need some time."

george nodded, sniffing back tears. "i know. i'll miss you every day, but i want you to be happy, even if it means being apart."

you both sat there in silence for a moment, holding each other as if it was the last time. it wasn't the ending either of you wanted, but it was the right one. sometimes, love meant letting go.

as you finally pulled away, george whispered, "i hope you find what you're looking for."

you nodded, your heart heavy yet hopeful. "me too"

the morning sun filtered through the curtains of lockwood & co's headquarters, casting long shadows across the room. the air was thick with an unspoken tension, a somber anticipation of what was to come. you stood in the entryway, your bags packed and your heart heavy. today was the day you would say goodbye.

lockwood, ever the stoic leader, was the first to approach you. he had known this day was coming, yet it didn't make it any easier. his usual confident demeanor was softened as he looked at you.

"y/n" he began, his voice steady but laced with emotion. "i know this isn't easy for you. or for any of us. but i respect your decision. you've been a crucial part of this team, we'll miss you dearly and you will always have a place here, if you decide to come back home"

you nodded, tears threatening to spill. "thank you, lockwood. this place, this team, has been my home for so long. but i need to find out who i am outside of it."

lockwood gave you a tight, supportive smile and pulled you into a firm hug. "just promise you'll stay in touch. and if you ever need us, for anything, you know where to find us."

next up was lucy, who had been like a sister to you. her eyes were red, and she didn't bother hiding her tears. "i can't believe you're really leaving," she said, her voice trembling. "i'm going to miss you so much."

you hugged her tightly, both of you clinging to each other. "i'll miss you too, lucy. more than you know. but this isn't goodbye forever. we'll see each other again, i promise."

lucy nodded, wiping her tears away. "you better keep that promise. and take care of yourself, okay? don't let the world get you down."

finally, it was george's turn. he stood a little apart from the others, his face a mixture of sadness and understanding. the conversation you had shared a few days before echoed in both your minds.

he stepped forward, taking your hands in his. "you know how much i'll miss you," he said quietly. "but i want you to be happy, to find what you're looking for."

you squeezed his hands, feeling the weight of your shared memories. "i know, george. thank you for being so understanding. i love you."

he pulled you into a hug, holding you tightly. "i love you too. always."

as you stepped back, you looked at each of them, your heart full of gratitude and sorrow. "thank you all for everything. you've been my family, and i'll never forget that."

with one last look around the room, you picked up your bags and walked to the door. as you reached for the handle, you paused, turning back to see your friends one last time. "goodbye," you whispered, your voice breaking.

you could hear the three of them snifling. "y/n" george called right before you were able to close the door. "it gets better" he assured you for one last time. the words filled with all the love and hope he wanted you to receive.

you nodded, smiling at him and then you left, hoping that he was right.