Lahabrea - Tumblr Posts
lahabrea has no time or patience for azems familiar
bonus
i just needed to get this out of my chest
In the Aftermath of the Sundering
Read below the cut for some fresh baked breadman angst
Returning to consciousness felt like a feat of incredible endurance and strength. Even shielded from the blinding radiance as we were in the rift between worlds, the impact rocked our one safe haven and stole a moment of awareness from us.
I was the first to awaken. Emet-Selch was the next. We exchanged a nod, then turned our wary glances towards Elidibus. He laid on what passed for ground here, restless. Not unconscious, but certainly not aware of his surroundings either.
By turns, his shuddering and moaning eased. He looked to us, barefaced with tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry. I failed you. I failed us all!"
In his tears of regret and frustration, I could not help but see an echo of my son in his youth. Part of me longed to comfort him, but practical needs superceded emotional ones.
"What befell? Emet-Selch, pull us from this rift, we need to know what happened when that light struck Etheirys."
He nodded, eyes haunted as he snapped his fingers.
I blinked for a moment as my surroundings came back into view. The Macarenses Angle, all but destroyed now. Trees withered to naught, buildings that stood for millennia reduced to rubble. And if I squinted across the square, I could see... Something moving. A sign of life where I *knew* Aphroditos stood before the end.
I ran for where I thought he would await me, only to stop short. Something was *wrong*. It was him, unmistakably, but there was barely more than a scantling of his aether remaining. He didn't respond when I called out to him. Didn't even look my way.
And when I beheld him in full, my heart shattered.
He had torn his hair down from its braids and almost ripped his robes and podea from his body. His brow furrowed, grunts and moans that might almost have passed for an infant's speech passing his lips as he poked and prodded the dust before him, etching shaky lines into the ground. Star-cut sapphire eyes now looked almost drowned by the black of his pupils.
Animalistic in nature. A measure of sentience, mayhap, but barely a glint of sapience. And not so much as a *glimmer* of the keen light of intelligence that once shone there.
snippet from “Ascendance of the Morning Star”
Lahabrea arched a brow in surprise. “Many would leap for the opportunity to join the Traveler on one of her many sojourns outside of the capital. What makes you hesitate?”
“I-“ Aphroditos caught himself mid-sentence with a laugh. “This is going to sound ridiculous, but- I don’t want to make a fool of myself. All my life, I’ve been lauded for my skill as a magos, an academic, a phantomologist. The very course of my existence upon this star has been set by following those things in which I was naturally skilled. I fear that without relying upon those innate talents and my years of study, I have no other skills I can call my own.”
Lahabrea’s other brow joined its sibling in shock. “I don’t recall you being this self-conscious when you were my student. In fact, if memory serves, you were almost inappropriately brash and reckless with regard to your experimentation and studies.”
Chagrined by the words of his former instructor, Aphroditos rubbed the back of his neck with a sheepish blush painting his cheeks. “Y-yes, well, I had a natural gift for the field, a predisposition towards the skills that work well within it. Doubtless, my ego swelled on the ease with which I met challenges my fellow students struggled to surpass. You must admit, it’s easy to feel such confidence when you know you are incapable of well and truly failing at a task.”
Lahabrea sighed. “Indeed, I know it all too well. I also have lived long enough to see it for the hubris that it is.”
“Hubris… I suppose that would be accurate.”
open ur hand
FFXIV Write 2023 - Day 7 - Noisome
Pandaemonium Spoilers up to Patch 6.4
Lahabrea was not a man to wear his annoyance openly, especially after he'd chosen to abide in duty alone all those years ago. And yet, certain things- or rather, certain people- never failed to make his nerves bristle.
He'd quarreled often with the previous Azem, their perspectives never able to align due to her sheer selfishness. If she had any code guiding her actions, it was clearly an internal one and not her oath of office, as he took great pains to remind her.
Her successor annoyed him even more. As one of his former students, someone who may well have joined the Words of Lahabrea or become a trusted Warder of Pandaemonium had he not encountered some sort of mental breakdown, Lahabrea thought he might have more insight into how this new Azem would see the world.
What a fool he was. The latest Azem took the precise letter of the law and found some way to twist its interpretation to suit his latest antics, violating the spirit of the regulation but not breaking it to the point of earning censure. A practice enabled and all-but encouraged by Elidibus Ascendant. Even more annoyingly, Lahabrea found that he couldn't fault Azem's logic, even if he disagreed utterly with the methodology he used.
One would think this understanding would spark greater harmony, but no. It only made his actions even more noisome than Venat's had been.
Worse, he now found himself almost smiling fondly at the man's latest instance of malicious compliance. Charmed by how thoroughly he understood the rules and proceeded to flout each and every one of them, then successfully argue his case to avoid punishment. And, more damningly, something twisting in Lahabrea's gut wanted to silence Azem's manipulative tongue with his own mouth.
An inconscionable thought. Inappropriate to the highest possible degree. The man was young enough to be Erichthonios' peer, for the star's sake. Not to mention that he would be categorically, functionally unable to give Azem what he seemed to long for, if one trusted his little favors and acts of service to send a message.
It was unthinkable. Impossible.
...Desirable. A trap. He'd fallen for this sort of unpredictable behavior before, and it tore his soul in half, estranging him from himself and his son. No love for anything else, none for the star, no room for anything except raw ambition-
No. He wouldn't fall for it again. Wouldn't fall again. He'd sworn upon the grave of his wife that he would cast aside all fickle emotion.
And yet, like a particularly noisome insect, the desire buzzed in his ear, thrummed through his veins, stoked with each visit, each gift, each simple gesture of kindness laden with subtextual meaning to any with eyes to see it.
Damn him. Damn Azem for saddling him with these... unnecessary feelings.
the convocation of fourteen (fears)