Impure Regression - Tumblr Posts
DAY 2 Q: Do you have a Cg? A: no, but i'd really like one. regressing on my own is really kinda hard, esspecially when i'm stressed out. it would also help because my regression is impure sometimes due to trauma, and I need someone there to calm me down and tell me everything will be okay. but idk how to get one though, i've had random people slip into my dm's trying to baby me and I get uncomfortable. idk I guess I don't really want a cg that I don't personally know or trust.
The Snake and the Wolf
Summary: Prompt: Character B buying Character A their first stuffed animal
Pairing: Destiel
Warnings: angst, impure regression
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Dean didn’t ask for a lot things, which made it very hard to buy for him. Sam concluded that he was just selfless like that, to a fault even. Zephyr had remarked that he did not let himself want, for fear of losing it and it seemed like Cas was the first thing he let himself have. Bobby had confirmed as much.
Unfortunately, none of this gave Cas a clue on what to buy Dean, so he bided his time in pool game hustles until he felt he had enough to spoil him silly. Then he announced to Dean that they were going shopping and dragged him to the Continental Mark V that he always teased him about.
When they got to the store, Cas told him that this trip was all about him, and could have anything he wanted. Dean’s mouth dropped open a little, as he stared at Cas with wide green eyes. He stayed like that until Cas grabbed his hand and dragged him down one of the aisles. The first thing that Dean chose was a comforter that has green plaid on one side and blue on the other. Cas simply smiled at him reassuringly when he looked at him while he slowly put it in the cart like expected him to refuse. (He’d never.) Dean seemed to relax a bit after that, and it made him wonder if John Winchester never took Dean shopping. The thought made him want to resurrect John so he could smite him.
After that, Dean chose a few more practical things, then picked a few more indulgent things, like soft clothes because while his skin is tougher, it it’s still sensitive at times. A humidifier, that’ll keep his skin and scales from drying out. And a small cat tree that he said nothing about, so Cas didn’t ask. Honestly, he’s enjoying this shopping trip. Spoiling Dean made him incredibly happy, and despite Dean’s overall quietness, he could tell that he was having a good time too. It’s nice, not having to worry about anything other than making his boyfriend happy, even if it's just for a few moments. Of course, the peaceful moment was stolen away when Dean saw it. And at first, Cas had no idea what he’s looking at until he followed his line of sight to a large stuffed wolf. It’s black, with blue plastic eyes, and roughly half the size of Dean. Unlike with everything else he picked out, he just stared at it, immobile. So Cas grabbed it for him, and put it in the cart.
There’s a choked sound, and he found Dean staring at him with wide, teary eyes and a clenched jaw. Anguish was etched into the way his body tensed, and Cas? Cas nearly fell apart because for his boyfriend to have this sort of reaction means something- something bad happened and his poor heart breaks.
“Can’t- can’t have t-that,” Dean’s voice was rough and small, and it scraped at Cas’s ribcage viscerally.
“Why not?” He whispered, because speaking is too loud for this moment that feels like walking on hot coals and glass.
“I’m n-not allowed,”
“Says who?” But he knows. He knows who it is because who else could it be? He has to ask; as much as it pains them he knows that Dean would never otherwise and he has to tell him that he’ll be ok no matter what he wants.
“D-John.”
“He’s not here is he? It’s just me and you hon and I’m telling you if you want it, you can have it,”
“But s’weak…. I’m weak..”
Dean was trembling, like he might fall out of his skin and Cas grabbed his hands as he stared him dead in the eyes. “Dean Winchester, you are the strongest man I know. Nothing, and I mean nothing will change that. I love you with all of my being and that won’t change either no matter what,”
“I-I-“
Cas let go of one of his hands to grab the wolf and gently handed it him. Dean gave him a searching glance before looking at the stuffed animal. His empty hand clenched open and closed for a few seconds before he took it, hugging it tightly to his body with both of his arms.
“I’m so proud of you Dean,”
The shopping trip is pretty much over after that, so Cas took them over to a cashier with no line and paid for everything. Anyone who so much as looked at Dean was met with an angel powered glare, which worked out in their favor as they’re able to get out pretty quickly. Dean didn’t speak a single word after that, he just clutched onto the wolf like a lifeline. Cas let him have his silence for moment, since he needed to focus on getting them back to their hotel room. It’s no sooner than Castiel is setting the stuff down on his bed that he he turned around to find Dean quietly sobbing into the wolf.
“Oh Dean baby, what’s wrong?” He asked, pulling him into a much deserved hug. A few tears of his own leaked out at seeing his boyfriend in such a state.
“M’sad, m’happy, m’scared Cas. Head feels all fuzzy and small and I dunno w’ats happening’! M’sorry!” Dean wailed.
This was the first time he’s ever seen him openly cry and he can’t help but be terrified. He’s afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing, but right now he doesn’t have the time to agonize. Right Now Dean needs him.
“We can figure this out together. I’m not mad at you, and I think it’s very good that you’re telling me how you feel so I can help you,”
“S’good?” Dean’s cries tapered off, waiting for Cas’s reply.
“So good baby, I’m so proud of you,”
“Cas’s p’oud of De?”
“Of course,” And it’s true. Dean doesn’t open up very often, and every time it happens he’s so proud of him. He wished it didn’t come to tears this time, but he’s glad that Dean trusts him enough to be vulnerable.
“E’en tho’ De’s head’s all fuzzy and small?”
“We’ll figure it out together,” As long as Dean’s happy, it doesn’t matter why he’s acting like a child, but he’ll help him figure what exactly this is.
“M’kay,” Dean rubbed his eye with a fist, looking around the room as he took in a shuddery breath in through his nose and blew it out through his mouth. “Wanna cuddle with Cas. And take a nap.”
“Ok, we can do that,” Cas walked over to the bed, and Dean followed. He watched Cas get comfortable first, then crawled into the bed with him, gripping his wolf tightly. “Is this good?”
Dean nodded, closing his eyes. He felt Cas shift a little underneath him as he grabbed something. Then there was a soft tapping noise, which made his eyes open as he squirmed.
“What’s wrong baby?”
“Nap with De,”
And how could Cas say no to that? Tossing his phone aside, he hugged Dean close as he closed his eyes.