Hwang Hyunjin Angst - Tumblr Posts

I KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU

hwang hyunjin. best friends au; angst. 1.6k words. warning: consumption of alcohol.

description: when hyunjin received a call that you were drunk at a tent bar, he immediately rushed over. if only he knew how fast the night changes.

listen to: pagsamo by artur nery.

“you’re drunk.”

hyunjin could only watch you, groaning at your almost passed out state on the table.

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silent cries || hwang hyunjin

a series: reasons why skz broke the relationship off

lower caps intended ! taglist open for this series !

warnings: some profanities

word count: 1.4k

genre: angst

a/n: all the bolded with italic parts are her memory. also im so sorry for being inactive >< i had major writers block. and i would like to apologise in advance if this seems rushed :”)

when he chooses his ex over you

[series masterlist ] [masterlist]

(all the bolded with italics parts are y/ns memories)

“hyun ? where are you ?” you nervously paced around as you spoke into the phone. “i’ll be home soon. i promise. im at school right now. “hyun… its almost 6pm… did you… nevermind. i’ll see you at home.” you hung up before he could utter anything else. kicking off your heels, you threw your handbag onto the couch. it was your anniversary today and this is the fourth time this week he had bailed on you. the reason ? his ex, hyejin.

the two have grown unbelievably close within the month. it didn’t sit well with you at all, but hyunjin managed to reassure you that his feelings for her are gone and he’s over her, head over feels for you instead. at the start, he stayed true to his words. it was so blissful. but as days go by, hyejin seemed to have grown on hyunjin again. it’s starting to get on your nerves, and with your insecurities, it wasnt helping at all. hyunjin was not doing you a favour either, every time you tried to bring up this topic, it seemed to piss him off a lot. arguments were inevitably increasing with each passing day and gradually, you began seeing him lesser because he is always busy with her.

hot tears streamed down your face, ruining your mascara in the process, but you didnt care anyways. 3 years together and he still chooses her over you. did it mean nothing to him ? all those precious time wasted. picking yourself up, you dragged yourself up into your room. you were so foolish and turned a blind eye on all the red flags hyunjin showed.

you started packing all your stuff.

“hyun ! can you help me with this ?” you pointed to one of the logarithm questions on your graded assignment. “give me a minute, y/n. hyejin’s calling me.” you watched as he picked the phone up. you told yourself you werent interested in whatever they were talking about as you trusted hyunjin with all your heart but the moment you heard his laughter, your heart dropped. you gave in and decided to eavesdrop a little. although now you wished you didnt. “cmon hyejin, we both know you look the best in black. you should wear that dress- the black one !” he continued rambling “nono the one with the bare back and v cut. i think it would look better as your prom outfit.” right. prom was coming. and hyunjin still hasn’t asked you to be his date yet. or did he think it was unnecessary because you were in a relationship with him ? you thought he was aware of it since he always asked you to every dance. you snapped out of your thoughts as you watch him end the call with a smile on his face. “hyun…? are you done …? i still need help.” the smile faded almost instantly. “just use the textbook.” he sounded like a completely different person but you didn’t feel like questioning him.

a “ping !” came from your phone. it was felix. you opened it just to see a picture of hyejin making out with hyunjin by his locker. your heart sank even deeper.

“hyun. im not feeling… very well to-today.” you felt very weak as your fever burned up. “y/n, babe im so sorry. hyejin has a major dance exam tomorrow and im trying to help her pass it. i’ll come over after we are done ok?” you hummed in reply and ended the call. it didnt take you a while before you passed out from the lethargic feeling caused by your fever. when you woke up again, it was already 8pm but hyunjin was still nowhere in sight. you still felt horrible and maybe even worse now, knowing he probably forgot about you. you gradually grew bored waiting for hyunjin and started to scroll through instagram when you accidentally clicked on his insta story. “with the gal.” it said. it was a picture of two meals at the place youve been wanting to visit with hyunjin and you could easily make out the figure of the other person. hyejin. you clicked on the left once. “thanks for today jinnie <3” it read. hyejin had tagged him and he reposted it. it was a picture of them hugging. you were lying if you said you were completely ok with it. but you couldnt find it in you to bring it up to hyunjin. at least not yet.

“you mind picking me up later and letting me crash at yours?” you texted felix and he agreed almost instantly .

you remember blowing out the candles on your birthday. “happy birthday baby, i love you.” hyunjin pressed his lips against your forehead as he enveloped you in a hug. it was such a perfect moment. a perfect moment that was ruined by none other then hyejin. “j-jinnie… can you come over…?” it sounded like she was crying. hyunjin dropped you immediately. he grabbed his coat and car keys and made a beeline for the door. “h-hyun! where are you g-going ?” you were in disbelief. he wouldn’t ditch you like this, now would he ? on your special day ? “she needs me, y/n” and without even uttering another word, he ran to comfort another woman in his arms. your knees gave in as you collapsed to the ground. the love of your life had left you again. and what hurts even more was the fact that he did not even hesitate. not even for a second. while she was crying in his arms, you on the other hand was crying on the cold hard kitchen floor, with the nicely decorated cake left untouched.

you dragged the luggage down the stairs. you made a mental note to leave before he returned and to come collect the rest of your stuff another day.

before you could even reach the front door, it swung open. “what the fuck y/n? where are you going?” hyunjin sounded pissed the moment his eyes landed on the luggage. you were dumbfounded, he had the audacity to be mad ? “leaving. if that isn’t obvious enough.” you rolled your eyes. “why ?!” he shouted in frustration. “why ?! YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO ASK ME WHY ?? do you know what day it is today ?! ITS OUR FUCKING ANNIVERSARY FOR FUCK SAKE. IS THIS ALL A JOKE TO YOU ?!” he grew silent as you continued with your outburst. “this is the fourth time you bailed on me this week and im sick of it! im not going to stay by your side like some lovesick puppy and watch you choose hyejin over me OVER AND OVER AGAIN!” he laughed sarcastically. “ME?! choose her ? what a sick joke. i had every chance to get her back if i wanted to, and now hell i think about it, i really rather do that then be here with you. TIME AND TIME AGAIN, I RUSH TO YOUR SIDE TO HELP YOU OUT AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME ? by making me look like some cheating asshole ?”

this time, it was your turn to scoff. “oh fuck off hyunjin. you rushing to help me ? yeah i admit you did but that was before that bitch came and stole you away from me constantly. have you ever wondered who the fuck is your real girlfriend? hyejin ? NO. ITS ME. and yet im being treated like anything BUT THAT. fuck, you wanna be with her so bad ? GO AHEAD ! SHES SO MUCH BETTER THAN ME ACCORDING TO YOU ANYWAYS. im done.” you grabbed your luggage once again and made your way towards the door. “you dont even have a place to stay you loser.” he retorted. “oh hell yea i do. because unlike you, felix cares about me and cares enough to actually BE THERE FOR ME.” you heard a loud honk outside, signalling his arrival. you made sure to say one last thing to hyunjin before you leave. “ill be back to collect the rest of my stuff. enjoy your fucking life.” and with that, you slammed the door behind you shut.

and just that easily, your first love ended. how unfortunate it was to see it end on a bad note. but maybe it was a blessing in disguise…

HAPPINESS IS A BUTTERFLY

hwang hyunjin x reader

angst, fluff, hurt to comfort

cw: lots of self doubt, a knife is mentioned once

wc: 1.6k

a/n: have some hyune angst! this was originally a time stamp but i wrote a lot and thought it was gonna be less than 1k but.. i was wrong. i hope you enjoy, rbs and feedback is very appreciated!

hyunjin is happy. that’s not something that should come as an issue—it’s not like his happiness has come from anything corrupt, or anything materialistic. his happiness comes from you, it comes from dance, it comes from his career and his members and the people he surrounds himself with every day.

it’s just that happiness is so overwhelming. it comes and goes like the tide, filling him right up to the point he can’t contain the ecstasy that runs through his veins, then it calms down and slowly makes it way back to a safe distance where he can still feel it, it’s just not the only emotion he seems to hold. but with you standing towards the stovetop, knife in your hand as you chop his favourite sausages to add into your ramen, he does feel overwhelmed.

supposedly, it’s not just happiness that makes him freeze, it’s the amount of love he has for you. one singular person seems to make his heart beat unhealthily fast and makes him do stupid things. hell, if you asked him to jump off a bridge with you he would, because something about you clouds his mind over and blurs all sense he seems to have. you are a hypnotic being and he is caught up in your trance, but hyunjin knows there is nowhere else he’d rather be. he has you and you have him, and no one else can get in the way of that.

but is that really true?

there are men who are ten times more attractive than he is, and people who dance much better than he can. he thinks he is lacking so much that his imperfections are probably the first thing you see in him; he, in comparison to you, is a mere star in the sky, and you are the sun. you shine brighter than he could ever wish to and with a smile you could change the way someone’s day goes. hyunjin doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to have such an effect on someone, he doesn’t think he’ll ever be as great as the person god must have gifted to him.

perhaps he was an angel in his past life, because he doesn’t see how he can deserve you. you deserve someone as great as you are, as giving and loving and as willing as you, but he is sure he is not that person. the realisation is daunting and he feels like both curling into a ball and screaming, because it’s all too much. if you are so flawless beautiful, surely you would want someone as pure and brilliant as you. why would you stay?

perhaps he was an angel in his past life, because he doesn’t see how he can deserve you. you deserve someone as great as you are, as giving and loving and as willing as you, but he is sure he is not that person. the realisation is daunting and he feels like both curling into a ball and screaming, because it’s all too much. if you are so flawless beautiful, surely you would want someone as pure and brilliant as you. why would you stay?

it’s that that really gets him. he can live thinking you deserve better, and that you’re on a completely different level to him, but he doesn’t think he can go on if you leave his side. he needs you here because you are his reason. his reason to dance, his reason to sing, his reason to perform and pursue all the amazing things he is doing. without you, hyunjin thinks he is nothing. of course you don’t agree, not even in the slightest, but with overwhelming love and overwhelming happiness the only thing that seems to follow is a blinding sea of sadness. he can’t think straight and he can’t see clearly because of the salty tears that pool around the bottom of his eye.

he needs you. he needs your touch and your warmth and soon enough, he is clambering up from where he was curled up in the sofa and walking towards you at an abnormally fast pace. his footsteps are loud from the way his slippers smack against the floor, and naturally you turn around out of curiosity. it’s when the tears meet your eyes before anything else along with the mere look of heartbreak that is written over his face that you realise something is wrong. this isn’t the hyunjin who always has a smile on his face and this isn’t the boy who’s eyes curl into crescents because his smile is so wide. he looks so broken, so vulnerable and fragile and it feels as though he has a pick axe at your heart. his body practically collapses into your arms and you hold him with every bit of strength you have in you, whispering sweet nothings into his ears and stroking a hand up and down his back.

mumbles and hiccups of ‘i’m sorry’ and ‘don’t leave me’ fall from his lips and you only feel confused. has he done something? did something happen? it’s as though you’re being starved of answers and left clueless, but you can’t think about that right now. the only thing that matters is him, falling apart in your hold and his wet cheeks that flush a deep red from the tears that spill from his eyes.

the whispers of love confessions and ‘it’s okay’ seem to help cease his sobs, but both of your hearts still feel numb, as though a dull ache is the only thing that remains. gently, you cradle his face in your hands. they’re shaking, but it’s nothing compared to the way lines of dried tears settle across the surface of his now blotchy skin, and the way his nose seems an almost feverish crimson. you have to swallow down the painful lump in your throat before you speak, looking him in his watery eyes and ensuring he doesn’t look away, “what’s wrong, baby?”

“you deserve someone better.” he chokes out, as if his words do not open up a whole world of other questions. “it doesn’t make sense for someone like you to love someone like me, and i don’t think i can deal with you leaving.” he whispers, taking deep breaths as though to stop himself from letting any more cries escape.

your thumbs rub gently under his eyes and you have a smile on your face. it is gentle and warm and reminds him of a cup of green tea, but it’s you. everything about it is you because you are all of those things and more, and he is so lucky to have you in front of him. with that same smile, you shake your head, thumbs still soothing his hot cheeks, and you reach towards him to pepper gentle kisses across his skin, from his jaw to the corner of his mouth, under his eyes to his nose. every single part of him you love and adore more than you love yourself, and from his state, you’re sure he feels the same way. it’s why the phrase “you have to love yourself before you love someone else” is completely and wholly wrong, because loving someone means having someone there at times when you don’t love yourself. it means having someone who will love you on the days you can’t do it yourself.

right now you doubt you, nor hyunjin really love yourselves. however you know more than anything in the world that you love the tearful boy in your hands more than you’ve ever loved anything, and that is enough to make you happy.

“i’ll always see you as perfect, hyunjin. and even if i don’t, i love you way too much to ever go, so don’t say those things. you don’t even know half of how i feel about you.” you assure him, finding time to press your lips against his skin once more between your words. staring at you, looking into your eyes, hyunjin believes what you’re saying. in fact, he feels sort of silly for jumping to such big conclusions, but you both know it’s because of the amount of love he holds for you. it can be too much sometimes, but he’d never trade it for anything else. he holds it with pride and treasures it like your love and your companionship is the most precious and delicate thing in the world.

the two of you eventually settle on the sofa, a bowl of ramen in your hands, made just the way he likes it, while you watch a drama. the air feels much lighter than it did just minutes ago, and the warmth you seeked from each other seems to be replaced by the steaming noodle soup. still, he knows he wouldn’t be able to move on from his outburst so easily without you by his side, and you are grateful to be there. grateful to know you need to make sure he feels just as loved and cared for as he makes you feel, grateful to know the extent of how much he adores you.

relationships take work, it is something you both knew prior to getting together and something you’re still working on now, however you wouldn’t change it for the world. if it means having each other and being together, the work is worth it, because the fruit of your labour (or, your love) feels much richer than the work you put in to get there.

tags: @loveliestfelix

my dove, hwang hyunjin x reader

↳ pairing: hyunjin x reader ↳ word count: 1,5k ↳ summary: a fire can’t burn forever, his wasn’t any different. ↳ a/n: ouch ouch ouch . why am i out here making myself sad ??? ↳ warnings: heartbreak (!!!!!)

It was written in his eyes that night, that he no longer loved you. Even though his eyes hadn’t met yours in weeks, you still noticed the lack of adoration and yearning that his eyes had contained throughout your relationship. He was never any good at hiding his feelings, after all.

It was easy falling for him, almost too easy. You found love in his dark brown eyes, in the birthmark right underneath his eye that he absolutely despised, in his laugh; everything about him made you weak at the knees. In some way, there was something funny about the way you loved him; almost ironic. He was almost too good to be true. For some time, you waited. Waited for him to screw up, for him to prove to you that he wasn’t the angel you portrayed him to be. Yet, the day never came. He continued to be too good to be true, all the way to the end.

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𝗛𝘆𝘂𝗻𝗷𝗶𝗻’𝘀 𝗢𝗰𝘁𝗼𝗯𝗲𝗿 𝗠𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 𝗽𝘁.𝟭 (𝗼𝗰𝘁.𝟭-𝟭𝟱)

𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘:𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙨𝙚 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙞𝙘𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙞 𝙧𝙚𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙜𝙜𝙚𝙙 𝙞𝙣 𝙤𝙘𝙩𝙤𝙗𝙚𝙧. 𝙄𝙩 𝙙𝙤𝙚𝙨𝙣𝙩 𝙣𝙚𝙘𝙖𝙨𝙨𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙡𝙮 𝙢𝙚𝙖𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙞𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙖 𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙨 𝙤𝙧 𝙖 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙖𝙣 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙧 𝙙𝙞𝙙.

Pls tell me if i linked the wrong fic or if there’s smth wrong w/ the masterlist

Oᴛʜᴇʀ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀs: 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗻, 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗵𝗼, 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗯𝗶𝗻, 𝗵𝗮𝗻, 𝗳𝗲𝗹𝗶𝘅, 𝘀𝗲𝘂𝗻𝗴𝗺𝗶𝗻, 𝗷𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗴𝗶𝗻, 𝗼𝘁𝟴

☞︎ Pᴀʀᴛ2

Tᴀɢ: hyunjinsz.oct21

Gᴜɪᴅᴇ: ☘︎︎- sᴍᴜᴛ | ☁︎︎- ғʟᴜғғ | ☕︎︎- 𝗮𝗻𝗴𝘀𝘁 | ⚠︎︎- sᴇɴᴛɪᴛɪᴠᴇ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ

𝗗𝗮𝘆 𝟭

❥ class president by @tqmies - ☕︎︎

❥ poolside fucking by @youn9racha - ☘︎︎

𝗗𝗮𝘆 𝟮

❥ gxxd boy by @hanjizung - ☘︎︎

❥ golden hour by @jiminbbyboy - ☘︎︎ ☕︎︎ ☁︎︎ (ft. Chan)

❥ sweet & sour by @seospicy - suggestive

𝗗𝗮𝘆 𝟯

❥ shibari by @seungmoomin - ☘︎︎

𝗗𝗮𝘆 𝟰

❥ private after party by @webangchan - ☘︎︎

𝗗𝗮𝘆 𝟱

❥ home by @wonderlustlucas - ☁︎︎ ☕︎︎

𝗗𝗮𝘆 𝟲

❥ step-brother!hyunjin by @kpop-dungeon-dark - ☘︎︎ ☕︎︎ ⚠︎︎

❥ (can’t get no) satisfaction by @jenossslut - ☘︎︎

❥ hopeless dreams by @fairiejunie - ☕︎︎ ☁︎︎

𝗗𝗮𝘆 𝟳

❥ touch deprived by @moon-lixie - ☁︎︎

❥ locked & loaded by @yuta-senpai - ☘︎︎

❥ temperature by @hwangyeonjun - ☘︎︎

𝗗𝗮𝘆 𝟴

❥ #7A6C98 by @decembermoonskz - ☁︎︎

❥ size kink + hyunjin by @authorb - ☘︎︎

❥ be a good girl and spread your legs by @hwangsies - ☘︎︎

❥ dessert by @hyunsuks-beanie - ☘︎︎

𝗗𝗮𝘆 𝟵

❥ part 54 by @hyunjinspark - ☕︎︎

❥ mirror mirror by @fairlylino - ☘︎︎

𝗗𝗮𝘆 𝟭𝟬

❥ orgy + danceracha by @authorb - ☘︎︎ (ft. felix and minho)

❥ the distance between you and i by @wishingyouback - ☁︎︎

❥ sir by @peachychxn - ☘︎︎

❥ stormed in by @kissbinsung - ☘︎︎

𝗗𝗮𝘆 𝟭𝟭

-

𝗗𝗮𝘆 𝟭𝟮

❥ rimming by @slutbinnie - ☘︎︎

❥ partners for the night 2 by @cant-choose-a-bias - ☘︎︎

𝗗𝗮𝘆 𝟭𝟯

❥ i've been looking for you by @kpop-in-new-albion - ☕︎︎

❥ chubby cheeks by @jisungsmysugadaddy - ☁︎︎

𝗗𝗮𝘆 𝟭𝟰

❥ cuckolding by @peachybun-bun - ☘︎︎ (ft. felix)

❥ break time by @chronosaurusnot - ☘︎︎

❥ chaotic love by @butterflies123456 - ☘︎︎

❥ soft moments with hwang hyunjin by @soleilsuhh - ☁︎︎

❥ day 4 by @cartierbin - ☘︎︎

𝗗𝗮𝘆 𝟭𝟱

❥ traitor by @memesolvernonchwe - ☕︎︎

❥ beauty within by @markxdino - ☕︎︎ ☁︎︎

❥ cream pie by @kpop---scenarios - ☘︎︎ (ft. chan)

❥ play with fire by @sugasblunt - ☘︎︎

❥ hair pulling by @eightlee - ☘︎︎

❥ making out by @seungmoomin - suggestive

follow for part2!

the dating experiment - hwang hyunjin x author!gn!reader

˗ˏˋ pairing: hwang hyunjin x author!gn!reader

˗ˏˋ description: as a writer, a writer's block was nothing out of the ordinary for you. as a professional author, they determined your entire career. you had exactly two months left to finish your newest romance novel, but you were entirely out of luck. it was hard to write about someone's love life when your own was non-existent. when you told your friend hyunjin about your misery, however, he offered to take you out on dates. four experimental dates as friends, to show you how butterfly-increasing dating can and should be. it was his way of helping you out, but little did he know that he would influence your writing way more than either of you expected.

or: how could fake-dating your crush possibly go wrong?

˗ˏˋword count: 12,1k

˗ˏˋ tags: fake dating!au, friends to idiots to lovers, fluff, angst, happy ending (i hope), slightly suggestive at best, kissing, food mention, swearing, misunderstanding, murder thread (not real, we're only fed up), best friend!felix, i literally loved this idea so much, i'm so sorry if i crash you tumblr app, maknae line cameo, minho is part of the squad but not in the story

˗ˏˋ taglist: if you want to be (un)added, send me an ask please !!

a/n: inspired by: the roommate experiment by elena armas. please give this fic lots of love, it took me forever to finish it + it's my longest fic so far, but it's finally done !! :") happy reading !! <3

don't repost. don't translate. minors and ageless blogs dni!

the dating experiment (hwang hyunjin)

The cafe you were sitting at was the one Felix had recommended a while ago. It just opened a mere few days back, but it had been the talk of your city for weeks. He had wanted to meet you here today during his own lunch break, to keep you company while you were working on your novel. It had been a while since the both of you had seen each other and you were desperate for his company. Besides Felix, you did not have a lot of human interaction these days, so Felix forcing you to meet him for lunch was more than welcome.

With your laptop open in front of you, you just sipped on your drink and waited for your best friend to walk through the door. You had your document open with no words in sight and kept waiting for the inspiration to hit you. Truth to be told, you had absolutely no inspiration for your new novel whatsoever, but your publisher demanded a new one in two months time. You had exactly a few weeks and a few spare days to write out the book you were rarely ever thinking about. 

Sighing, you leaned back and kept staring at your empty document. How were you supposed to write a novel about two people falling in love if you did not have any romance in your life? Was your new writing career really worth the stress it caused you? Was it really worth quitting your real human job for… this?

“Y/N! Hey!” 

You perked up at the voice. It was Felix. He walked through the door of the cafe with someone else behind him. He had his hand up in a greeting and smiled widely. The guy behind him did the same and you recognised him as Hyunjin, one of Felix coworkers who you saw a few times before.

“Hey,” you greeted the both of them and pulled your laptop closer to your chest, “How have you been?”

“Good, good,” Felix answered and took his coat off before he sat down in the stall in front of you. 

“Hyunjin just started his break, too. You don’t mind him joining us, do you?” He added and picked the menu up. Hyunjin slowly took his own jacket off and smiled at you bashfully.

“Of course not,” you immediately said and gestured for him to sit down. Hyunjin did and greeted you in the process.

“I haven’t seen you in a while, how are you?” He asked and put both of his hands on the table. 

You hummed, “I’ve been fine. Just trying to work on this novel and I can’t get it anywhere.”

“Still?” Felix asked and handed the menu to Hyunjin beside him, “I thought you were actually getting some work done.”

Dejectedly, you slipped down the booth a little and pouted, “No. I have some ideas of what I want to do, but the inspiration isn’t there. This is a romance book and the most love I feel these days is when I see the delivery guy.”

Felix snorted, “Maybe that’s what real love is.”

“Is it?” Hyunjin huffed and put the menu down, “I think love is just. Good. It’s supposed to make you feel good; it’s supposed to be with a person who feels good about you, too. I doubt the delivery guy has any happy feelings for you. It’s probably the money they’re excited about.”

Felix gave Hyunjin a side eye. 

“If I had known that you feel so strongly about being in love, I wouldn’t have invited you. We’re here to be miserable today, not whatever this is.”

Hyunjin’s ears turned slightly red. Bashfully, he looked down at his hands.

“Sorry,” he started but you interrupted him.

“Don’t be. I wish I had some of your energy when it comes to this. I’m so hopeless, it’s insane.”

The three of you sat together in silence for a few moments. Then, Felix spoke up.

“I mean, if you need inspiration, you can always go on dates?”

“What happened to being miserable?,” you answered cheekily, “Or is this your way of driving me into my own misery? Because I’m pretty sure that’s the only thing you ever get out of dating apps.”

Felix rolled his eyes and Hyunjin giggled.

“Ha ha, so funny,” Felix said humourlessly, “Just date for fun! Date for inspiration.”

“You’re disgusting.”

Felix put his hands up in defence, “I’m just saying. If you want to find inspiration for a romance novel, date. You won’t find any good inspo if you just sit at home all day watching your romcoms.”

“You love my rom coms,” you bickered back and Hyunjin beside Felix giggled again.

“And besides, if I had a romcom guy in my life, I wouldn’t be so miserable.”

“Then look for one!” Felix argued back, more serious this time. You knew what his real stance on love was and you knew that he was only looking out for you, but unlike him, you were not quite as hopeful.

“You can let the other person know what you’re looking for,” Hyunjin chimed in. You frowned.

“Wouldn’t that kind of defeat the purpose of dating? If there are no real feelings involved, though?”

Felix turned his head around to look at Hyunjin, “This is actually a great idea.”

“Pardon?”

“Yes,” Felix clapped enthusiastically, “We’ll just find someone for you to fake-date. Show you how nice dating can be without any strings attached.”

“Wonderful,” you answered drily, “but who in their right mind would agree to do that?”

“I would.” 

Hyunjin seemed to be surprised by his own offer, based on the way his eyes widened a little, but he quickly caught himself, “I mean, we could just meet up as friends and I take you out on fake dates. What’s the harm in that? We know each other, after all.”

His ears turned a light shade of red and you stared at him.

“Hm,” Felix hummed from beside Hyunjin and the latter jerked slightly, as if he had forgotten that Felix was there with you, “That’s actually not a bad idea.”

“It isn’t?” Hyunjin and you said at the same time, “What?”

Felix shook his head, “No. The both of you are the same amount of, how do I put it.”

He snapped his fingers and pointed them at you.

“You are insane. In a bad way. And Hyunjin,” he pointed the same finger at his friend beside him now, “Is insane in a good way. I think it would work. I mean you guys are friends, right?”

Right. Semi-friends, to be exact. You had seen Hyunjin enough times to consider him a friend and also enough times to harbour a little crush on him at the same time. You never told Felix and frankly, you never admitted it to yourself, either. But now that you had the chance to date your non-crush, you were a bit taken aback. 

“I’m not sure,” you started and looked at Hyunjin. His ego seemed to take a little hit and he pressed his lips together tightly, “But maybe?”

You breathed out and eyed both guys in front of you. 

“What do you want in return?” You asked eventually and Hyunjin perked up at the question. 

“Your undying love and devotion,” he joked, but lost the smile on his face when Felix stared at him in disgust, “I mean. I have an art exhibition coming up in a few weeks. It’s nothing big, just some paintings for the company to advertise their creativity department. I just need a few more models for that and I wouldn’t mind painting someone who isn’t Jisung for a change.”

You licked your lips and glared at him jokingly, “Do I have to be naked?”

“NO!” Hyunjin called out and his cheeks turned a light pink, “Absolutely not. You get to keep your clothes on. I’ll put you into the different positions I need you in.”

“Bro, that’s my best friend!” Felix joked right along with you and Hyunjin’s face turned a deeper shade of red.

“That’s not how I mean it. I promise I’m not attracted to you in this way. This is only gonna be a friend thing. If you agree, that is.”

Ouch. That definitely hurt. You pressed your lips together and nodded.

“Sure. I don’t see how this can go wrong.”

If only you knew.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

You guys changed the topic after that, since there was nothing left to discuss anymore. Actually, you were absolutely sure that Hyunjin had forgotten about it already and would not go through with it. He was just trying to help you find a solution for your problem, most likely.

The three of you ended up talking about everything that came to your mind. And soon enough, it was Felix’ cue to go.

“My break’s over, I’m afraid,” he sighed and got up. Hyunjin did too and allowed him to leave the booth as he watched Felix put his coat back on.

Felix looked at you, “we really need to do this again.”

 “We will.” You saluted jokingly and smiled at him.

Felix patted Hyunjin’s back and sighed again.

“I’ll go over and pay for our food.”

“Our food?” You interrupted him and got up, “Don’t you dare.”

“What are you gonna do? Fight me?” Felix let out a playful evil laugh and let a waiter nearby know that he was ready to pay. You huffed and got up too, and Hyunjin did the same.

“I will,” you said and walked up to him. Hyunjin followed you, but unfortunately, Felix was faster. He swiftly handed the waiter his card and waited for the money to go through.

You sighed defeatedly, “Thank you.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Hyunjin added and shook his head, “You’re a menace to society.”

Felix huffed, “Whatever. I really have to go now. See you.”

He pulled you into a tight hug, Hyunjin too, and left the cafe. Hyunjin and you just looked at each other and went back to your spot.

“He’s unbelievable,” you mumbled and got your phone out. You sent Felix all of the money that he just had paid back, including his and Hyunjin’s order, and just blocked him from sending it back to you.

Hyunjin noticed what you were doing and snorted, “I was about to do the same.”

He put his phone up and showed you the open app with the exact same amount of money already typed in. You giggled and Hyunjin put his phone back down.

“Can I buy you another coffee at least? I feel bad now.”

You shook your head, “Absolutely not.”

Hyunjin rolled his eyes while he was smiling, letting you know that he was not actually annoyed.

“Is this how you should treat your fake boyfriend?”

Your eyes went wide.

“Fake boyfriend?”

Hyunjin shifted on his seat uncomfortably.

“Oh, were you joking earlier?”

You looked at him and shook your head, “No. I just. I didn’t think that you wanted to do this.”

Hyunjin looked right back at you and smiled.

“I do. I guess we just need to figure out how to do this.”

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

“You know, for dates, there are usually different stages of feelings involved,” Hyunjin started and put his coffee spoon between his lips. Quickly, he licked it clean and used it as a pointer to highlight his main points.

“The first one should be all about attraction. It’s the first date! You still need to figure out if you’re actually attracted to the person you’re meeting up with.”

You nodded, “That makes sense, but how do you want to fake that feeling?”

Hyunjin shook his head and waved his spoon in his hand, “Let that be my problem. It’s not about the feeling, but about the experience. You said you needed inspiration, right? I’ll just take you out on a first date and you can write about it and just add what you think your characters would feel right in that moment.”

Right, because their feelings would be soo much different from what you felt towards Hyunjin. You nodded, “Okay. And then?”

“The second meeting,” Hyunjin pointed his spoon at your face, “Is about curiosity. You need to see if that interest, that spark, is still there. You share some more aspects of yourself, some stuff a possible partner should know. Like, I don’t know about some weird fetish you have.”

You raised your eyebrows, “I don’t think that I want to discuss my sex life with you.”

Hyunjin’s ears turned red once again and he only waved his spoon at your face, “You don’t need to discuss it with me. You just need to feel comfortable and share anything, if you feel like it. Maybe think about what that would be for the people you write about.”

Right, because this was not real. You would only go on fake dates with your fake boyfriend. 

“And how many dates do we go on?” You asked eventually and Hyunjin furrowed his eyebrows in deep thought.

“How about four? We can add a third one for the start of the relationship. I will ask you out, and it won’t be real, of course,” Of course ,”and we will just do all of that couple-y stuff.”

Hyunjin waved his spoon around even more and it made you snicker.

“And on our fourth date, we’ll just fake a proposal for free dessert,” he whispered suddenly and it made you laugh.

“That sounds like a plan.”

A plan that would definitely not backfire. 

˖⁺‧₊˚ Phase One: Attraction ˚₊‧⁺˖

After your initial meeting, Hyunjin did not call you for a few days. You gave him your number before you left, since he was adamant on planning the dates himself. Claiming that you would not be able to understand the appeal of dating if you planned them yourself, he took it upon himself to do it for you. At least that is what you assumed for the day after. When Hyunjin did not even give you a quick update after a few days, you started to become worried.

Maybe Hyunjin changed his mind, you thought and put your phone down. He did seem enthusiastic about the idea of showing someone how great love can be but you would not blame him if that was not the case with you. After all, you guys were barely even friends and you were sure that someone like him would have people lined up in front of him for the real thing. People who actually wanted to go on dates and did not only do it for work. It was pathetic in a way and Hyunjin probably thought the same now.

Just when you were lost in your thoughts, your phone pinged you of a new notification. It was a message from Hyunjin, funnily enough, asking you to come outside.

“Now?” You texted back and walked towards your window. There was a car outside that you had never seen before and you were guessing that it might be him.

Your screen lit up again and it was an incoming call.

“Hi?” You greeted him and Hyunjin hummed.

“Hello darling,” he answered cheekily and it made your heart jump in your chest, “I’m here to pick you up.”

“Pick me up?” You ignored the way your heart reacted to his voice, “Like, right now?”

“Duh,” Hyunjin said and you saw him get out of his car. He was wearing some casual clothes, a white t-shirt and some loose black jeans, but he made them look so effortlessly attractive. His bright brown hair was brushed back and blended down to his neck, right where the strap of his camera was. Hyunjin was beautiful and you tried your best to ignore the butterflies in your stomach. He was here to see you as a friend, you told yourself, shaking your head slightly. Hyunjin only wanted to help you. 

“Let me get ready first,” you answered instead and he chuckled, “Don’t dress up too much, okay? It’s only me.”

Sighing, you put your phone down and went to your bedroom to change. When you were done, you put on your shoes, got your necessities, and left your home. Hyunjin leaned against his car and smiled when he saw you.

“Hi,” he greeted you again and took a step towards you. 

“Hi,” you said back and smiled at him.

“I got something for you.” Hyunjin pulled his arm from behind his back and you gasped. He brought you your favourite flowers. Blushing, you took them into your hands.

“Thank you,” you mumbled into the petals and Hyunjin smiled brightly.

“I hope you like them.”

“Love them,” you confirmed, “They’re my favourites.”

Hyunjin beamed at your words and grinned, biting his lips in the process.

“I hope they’ll survive today because you’re gonna be out late.”

You snorted, “On the first date?”

“It can’t be a good first date if you want to leave right away, can it?” Hyunjin’s ears turned a pinkish colour. Cute. He seemed to have this habit when he was nervous and it was absolutely endearing to you.

Carefully, he took a step to the side and opened his passenger door for you.

“After you, darling,” he said and bowed slightly. You giggled.

“Thank you so much.” 

You got into the car and reached for your seatbelt. Before you got to it, Hyunjin already had it in his hands. He leaned towards you inside the car and held his head in front of yours. Hyunjin looked at you while he secured your seatbelt and you felt your heart beat rapidly in your chest again. 

“You’re okay?” He asked with a sweet smile and you nodded slightly, your eyes never leaving his. Hyunjin pulled on your seatbelt one last time to make sure that it was secure and leaned back, leaving you completely flustered. 

“Isn’t it a bit dangerous to get into a stranger’s car on my first date?” you asked him when he started the car. Hyunjin laughed.

“You know me, that’s different.”

You looked out of the window, “Yeah, we’re friends, but isn’t this supposed to mimic a real date?”

Hyunjin sighed quietly, “We are. Do you not trust me, baby?”

Just like before, you felt the butterflies in your stomach twist and turn at the pet name directed to you. 

“I do.”

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

After a few minutes of silence, the both of you arrived at your date destination. Hyunjin parked his car near a beautiful park and stopped the engine. Swiftly, he got out and opened the door for you. 

“Do I have to unbuckle my seatbelt alone this time?” You joked and Hyunjin leaned towards you with a smirk, a slight blush evident on his cheeks.

“Do you want me to help?”

You left his question unanswered, although a small blush made its way onto your cheeks as well. Hastily, you unbuckled your own seatbelt and got out of the car.

Meanwhile, Hyunjin opened the back door behind yours and took a basket from the backseat. 

“Are we going on a walk?” You asked and turned around to look at him. Hyunjin smiled lopsidedly and showed you the basket in his hands.

“Almost.”

He walked a few steps towards the general park area and you followed him.

“So, let’s break characters for a second here,” Hyunjin started, “What do you expect from today?”

You shrugged your shoulders, “I don’t know. Some pretend-butterflies, maybe. Just a bit of crush evolving fun?”

Hyunjin gently allowed his hand to brush against the back of yours while you were walking. In response, you gasped quietly and turned your head around.

Hyunjin smirked, “Like that?”

You blushed slightly and mumbled something about him being unfair. It made him laugh.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he giggled and put his hand in front of his mouth. You missed his touch already.

“But be prepared, because I will hold your hand today, if that’s what you’re looking for. Just let me know when it’s too much and I’ll stop.”

You would hold him to his word.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

Eventually, the both of you arrived at the spot Hyunjin had picked out for you. It was beautiful and a bit more isolated from the general crowd. The place was right between a few trees whose leaves were a bright green. There was a blanket on the ground with some decorations on it, including some more flowers like the ones Hyunjin had gifted to you just earlier. In front of it was a lake and the sunlight shimmered on the surface beautifully. It was a gorgeous spot and you were wondering how he managed to pull this all off by himself.

“This is beautiful”, you whispered in awe. Hyunjin only smiled and put his hand on your lower back to push you slightly forwards.

“Thank you. Now go before the birds steal our flowers.”

You shook your head with a smile on your face and allowed him to lead you the way. Hyunjin put his basket down in the middle. He started to pull out different snacks you liked one by one, including your favourite drink. Maybe he had some help from Felix, you assumed and the thought of them talking about and planning your fake-date made you feel flustered. 

Your heart felt full and you giggled quietly when you saw him struggle to open one of the snack packages. Hyunjin rolled his eyes, “I’m trying my best here.”

He did not allow you to help setting anything up, but he did start a conversation with you. He asked you about your favourite things, your favourite colour, your favourite food, and your favourite drinks, and smiled like a child on christmas when you told him that he got pretty much everything you liked right on his blanket. He was included in that list, you thought, but did not want to say it out loud.

In return, you asked Hyunjin about some casual stuff while you ate. You asked him about his job and how he got to know Felix.

“Funny story, actually,” Hyunjin smiled and put his hand in front of his mouth to talk more while he was eating, “We both work at the company together, right? And we’re both in this, like, really small department responsible for choreographies and everything. And we’re only about ten people maybe, and I’m really close friends with our department’s boss, Minho.”

You nodded along while he was talking. You knew Minho, Felix had introduced you to him before and you really saw why the CEO picked him to lead the choreography department. Not only was he really talented at what he did, but he was also incredibly charming, just like Hyunjin was.

“Minho basically told me to check Felix out, you know, to make sure that he was a good fit for the company. Minho already knew that, of course, because he had already decided at that point that he wanted to hire him. But what Minho wanted to know first was how Felix and I would get along. So on his first day, Felix was almost running late, we just danced together. Only the three of us. We wanted to know how well our dancing styles fit and our personalities matched and it actually went great. It was so much fun.”

You smiled at his words. Felix had called you that night to tell you about how much he loved his new coworkers and that he hoped that he made a good first impression. Naturally, he did. Felix always did.

Hyunjin kept going, “And when we were done and getting ready for lunch, Felix got this huge box out, right? And we were already jealous of him, because wow he really made himself this giant ass lunch and we have to go out and buy ours? But then he opened the box and it was a bunch of brownies stacked on top of each other. He offered them to us and we ate all of them during our lunch break and it was so much fun. That was the day I decided that I needed Felix in my life.”

“So food is the way into your heart?” You joked and plopped another snack into your mouth.

Hyunjin hummed, “Mhm. There’s just something so bonding about sharing homemade food with someone. Felix basically confessed his love to us that day.”

Shaking your head, you just looked down and smiled.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

After a while, it started to get cold. Hyunjin noticed you shaking slightly and offered you a blanket he took with him. Gratefully, you accepted it and put it over your lap.

Hyunjin, however, seemed to be cold himself. He kept hugging his jacket tighter to his body and he was slightly uncomfortable. Because of this, you took the basket into your hand and placed it onto your other side. You lifted one side of the blanket up and gestured Hyunjin to just come closer to you. He looked at you. 

“Isn’t that a bit too soon on a first date?” He joked, but accepted your offer. He sat down beside you, your thighs slightly touching. It made you feel electricity all over your body and you tried your best to ignore the rapid beating of your heart.

“Don’t be silly,” you answered and innocently patted the blanket on top of his lap. Hyunjin shifted slightly and looked up.

“I’d rather you don’t die of the cold. Just accept it this time.”

“Thank you,” Hyunjin licked his lips.

“You can see the stars today,” he said and you looked up, too. The sky was clear and you could see every single constellation in the sky. It was beautiful.

Hyunjin laid down beside you and you followed him, pressing your shoulder up against his.

“You can see the ursa major over there.” He pointed at some stars in the sky. You leaned closer into him to follow his guidance.

“Do you know much about constellations?”

Hyunjin snorted, “That’s about it.”

The both of you laid together in silence after that, just feeling the body heat of each other below the blanket. No one else was at the park anymore, except for a few teenagers nearby, but they were so quiet, you barely even noticed that they were there. Not that you would have paid attention to anything other than Hyunjin, anyway.

“Where do you think you’re gonna be in a few years?” Hyunjin asked suddenly. 

You chuckled, “Isn’t that a deep question for a first date?”

“Not a date,” Hyunjin shook his head beside you. Your heart dropped a little at his words.

“This question is only between us. Only Hyunjin and Y/N.”

You nodded.

“I guess, I just want to be done with my novel,” you joked and Hyunjin laughed quietly, “I just want to move people with my works. Is that cheesy?”

Hyunjin shook his head, “It’s not. I feel the same way about my paintings.”

“I’m sure they’re beautiful, Hyunjin.” Just like you.

Hyunjin just smiled beside you.

“They will be.”

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

The both of you stargazed for a little while longer, until the cold became unbearable. Hyunjin took you back home in his car and the both of you sat together in blissful silence. When the both of you arrived at your home, Hyunjin got up first again to open the door for you. He walked you towards your door and you turned around to look at him.

“How did you like our date?” He asked you and you chuckled.

“It was cute.”

“Only cute?” Hyunjin huffed and shook his head playfully, “I guess I’ll just step up my game for next time. I can’t have you running around thinking that dates are only cute. You need to raise your standards.”

Right. Because this was not a date. This was Hyunjin helping you out to write your novel about romance. Not him actually wooing you. 

Suddenly, Hyunjin took a step towards you. You stared into his pretty eyes, thinking about all the things you should not think about; how pretty he was and how soft his lips looked and how badly you wanted to kiss him. On cue, Hyunjin leaned in slowly. Your eyelids flattered and you gazed down at his lips while licking your own. Hyunjin slightly brushed his nose against yours, before he smirked and pulled away.

“I don’t kiss on the first date,” He said cheekily and stood up straight. You were still in a daze and just gawked up at him when you realised.

“You’re a bitch,” you said half-jokingly and Hyunjin giggled.

“Everything for you, bestie.” Bestie.

Awkwardly, Hyunjin offered his hand for a fist bump and you returned it. After that, he bid you goodbye and left for his car. You were dumbfounded about what just happened, but decided to not think about it too much. Yeah, you would just ignore how fast your heart was beating in your chest and how badly you wished that all of this was real.

When you went back inside, you saw that Hyunjin’s car was still parked in front of your home. Only then he drove away after a few more seconds of silence, leaving you wondering what he was thinking about. In the meantime, you got ready for bed, replaying the almost kiss at your doorstep again and again. Before you went to sleep, you called Felix, who you knew would still be awake, to let him know about almost everything that has happened today. Your crush on Hyunjin, however, would still remain a secret. At least until all of this was over.

˖⁺‧₊˚Phase Two: Infatuation˚₊‧⁺˖

Unlike last time, Hyunjin texted you again right away when he got home. He asked you if you got back inside safely and if you were in bed already. It made you beam at your phone when you answered him yes and thanked him for the date. It almost felt like everything was real. 

The next morning, you got up early. The first thing you did was unlock your phone and you saw a notification from Hyunjin right on top of your screen. Smiling slightly, you opened the message. It was nothing special in any way, only a meme about the stars, but it made you feel warm that Hyunjin thought of you when he saw it. The fact alone that he sent you the picture in the first place made you excited. Not only was this finally a conversation the both of you had that was not fake, or at least you hoped so, but it was also the first step towards a closer friendship. It made your heart soar and sore at the same time. 

Deciding to make your unrequited crush useful, you got out of bed and turned your laptop on. You made yourself some breakfast and sat down at your desk in front of your empty document, just like you did at the cafe. Unlike last time, however, the inspiration hit you right away. You wanted to write about first dates, about the spark, about the crush and the giddy feelings you had felt yesterday, but you hesitated. Your feelings should not be real, you reminded yourself as you started planning your script. They should not exist, but you could not help yourself but let your imagination run wild; pretending that your characters did the same things you wanted to do with Hyunjin in the most non-platonic way possible.

In the meantime, Hyunjin texted you again and again. It started to become a habit of his to send you random memes, much like Felix did, just to check up on you every single hour of the day. The conversations were never too deep or too meaningful, but they meant the world to you. This is why your novel and its draft went long and longer as time went on.

About a week after your first date, Hyunjin called you.

“Do you remember when you said that my paintings are good?” He asked you after some small talk and you furrowed your eyebrows on your side of the phone.

“Of course. Do you want me to come and model for them? Like we talked about?”

“No,” Hyunjin answered hastily, “I just. Wanted to show them to you, I guess. I just want to know what you think?”

It sounded like a question rather than a statement. For some reason, it made your heart beat a little bit faster in your chest.

“Do you want me to come over?” You asked and Hyunjin hummed.

“I would prefer to video call you, is that okay too?”

You pressed your lips together and agreed. It was okay that Hyunjin did not want to meet you, you thought, after all, you guys were barely even close. As close as you can be with someone you went on fake dates with.

Hyunjin looked gorgeous. That was the first thing you noticed when the both of you switched to your video call. He had some paint on his face and his long hair was tied together in a half ponytail. The smile on his face was vibrant when Hyunjin finally saw you.

“Hi,” he greeted you again and chuckled slightly, “I hope I’m not interrupting you.”

“Not at all,” you immediately interrupted him, “I’ve honestly been curious to see your paintings.”

Hyunjin blushed slightly and ran a hand through his hair. He was wearing some painting gloves and ended up smearing some more colour on his forehead. You snickered.

“You’re thinking way too highly of me,” he mused, but you could see that he absolutely loved your compliments.

“I’ve been painting something,” he said eventually, “I’ve been thinking about submitting it for the company’s creative design thing, but I’m not sure if it’s good, I guess, I just wanted to hear someone’s opinion.”

And he wanted to hear yours, you thought and smiled at his words.

“Show me.”

Hyunjin put his phone against his chest, the soft sweater he was wearing, and you could hear some rustling in the back. Before you could think too much about how soft the sweater must be and how desperately you wanted him to hug you against his chest this way, he already turned the camera around to show you his newest painting.

“Ta-Da,” he said and showed some unenthusiastic jazz hands in the corner of the screen. You gasped.

“Hyunjin, this is beautiful.” It was a small painting, maybe about the size of a regular piece of paper, but it left you breathless. It was a simple drawing of two people kissing with a blush on each of their cheeks. One had their hand on the other one’s neck, whereas his hand gently cupped the person’s cheeks. Below the shoulders, the drawing blended seamlessly together, as if both people were together as one.

On the other side of the phone, Hyunjin blushed, “Are you sure? Is this not too much?”

“Absolutely not,” you said, still in awe, “What inspired this?”

Now, Hyunjin’s blush turned a little bit darker and it left you wondering what his real thoughts were about.

“Just some romance in my life, I guess,” he answered eventually and changed the topic right away, “But talking about romance, how’s your novel going?”

You ignored the pang in your chest at the thought of him having romantic feelings for someone else, even though it was his right, after all. The both of you were not exclusive, anyway.

“It’s… good, yeah,” you answered and chuckled humorlessly, “I guess giving my guy some real features helped. The inspiration was definitely… there.”

Hyunjin nodded, “Yeah.”

The both of you looked at each other for a few long seconds, before Hyunjin turned away slightly.

“I’ve been planning our second date,” he confessed and scrunched his nose, “I’m kinda excited for it.”

“Me too,” you answered immediately and you felt your heartbeat a little bit faster, “I can’t wait to see what you have planned this time.”

Hyunjin smirked, “A little eager, aren’t we?”

You shook your head, a smile on your own face now, “You’re impossible.”

“Maybe,” Hyunjin hummed, “But I really can’t wait to see you again.”

You looked straight at him and before you could utter another word, Hyunjin already said goodbye.

“I need to go now,” he said and looked apologetic, “See you.”

“See you soon,” You smiled and watched Hyunjin hang up on you. It was silent after that. The only thing you could hear was your heartbeat, which did not seem to slow down at any time.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

When Hyunjin picked you up for your second date, you were actually dressed up and ready to go this time. He told you that he would pick you up again and he did, only to drive you over to his apartment. 

Hyunjin did not live far away from you. In fact, it was only a few minutes drive until you arrived at his apartment. He lived together with three of his friends, three people you have already met before, since they were also friends with Felix, too. The people in question were Chan, Changbin, and Jisung. They would occasionally join Felix and you, and you liked having all three of them around. Today, however, you were hoping that they were absent; not because you did not want to see them again, but because your date time with Hyunjin was already so limited, you did not want anyone to take that away from you.

When the both of you parked in front of his building, you grinned.

“I could have gotten here myself, you know?”

Hyunjin smiles, “Every monarch needs their driver. Plus, parking here is hell.”

As on your first date, Hyunjin got out before you did and opened the door for you.

“With those gas prices?” You joked and reached for your seatbelt. Before you could undo it yourself, Hyunjin already leaned over to do it for you again. He only looked into your eyes as he did, and it felt oddly intimate.

“Before we go, I need to warn you,” Hyunjin leaned back and helped you out of the car seat. You felt a bit dizzy from his closeness, which is why it took you a few moments before you understood what he just told you.

“Huh?”

Huynjin chuckled, “I cleaned the apartment this morning, but I live with three idiots. If you see anything suspicious or just a bunch of protein powder, can you please do me a favour and pretend you didn’t?”

He gently put his hand on the small of your back to lead you closer to the door. You sighed quietly and leaned into his touch. Hyunjin did not mind, and if he did, he did not let it show. 

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

The apartment was surprisingly clean. Despite Hyunjin’s worries, you did not notice anything messy or out of the ordinary. The entire apartment was clean and nice, and even the decorations were comfortable and neat. It felt like a real home.

Hyunjin led you towards the kitchen, where he had everything decorated and prepared for your date. He put a bunch of your favourite flowers up on the table and a separate smaller bouquet of flowers was standing in a beautifully decorated and presumably self painted vase in between all of those. Hyunjin took that one into his hands and handed it to you.

“This is for you,” He said, before Hyunjin smiled bashfully, “I guess you can’t put them anywhere, but I just wanted you to know.”

You smiled at his words and smelled the flowers, “They’re beautiful, thank you.”

“Not as beautiful as you,” Hyunjin remarked, his shyness all gone now. In return, you only hid your face in the flowers and turned around to face the table beside you.

Deciding to ignore his fake-flirting for now, you asked: “What are we doing today?”

“We’re cooking!”

Hyunjin took some ingredients out of the fridge and put them all neatly beside each other in front of you.

“It’s gonna be good, I promise. Minho gave me his recipe and his food is insane, you will like it. I know it.”

You nodded at his words and took everything in, “Let’s do it.”

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

In preparation for your cooking process, Hyunjin opened all the containers filled with his pre-prepared ingredients. He was wearing something comfortable today, just like you were. Yet, he struggled with the long sleeves of his sweater and just rolled them up. You watched him as he did. Hyunjin’s arms flexed as the material of the sweater was pulled over them, and he used his long fingers to keep them all in place. To say that you ogled at him was an understatement.

Lucky for you, Hyunjin did not notice your obvious staring again. Instead, he was now struggling with some of the containers, since some of them were a bit too tightly closed for his liking. When he opened them, he looked at you proudly and you returned his big smile with a much softer one.

“Do we get started now?” He asked enthusiastically and clapped his hands together. 

You did not join him, however, but rather watched him as he did most of the work in preparing your food. Hyunjin was so concentrated on getting everything right, that he barely even noticed you watching him. 

He was beautiful, you thought when he tied his hair back. Hyunjin looked so comfortable and everything was so domestic, you allowed yourself to pretend that this was your actual life. You were on a real date with a guy who really liked you and who cooked for you, instead of a fake date with a friend who only wanted to help you with your work. It was hard to keep that reminder out of your thoughts. You sighed.

“I usually don’t go all out like this,” Hyunjin admitted bashfully, thinking that your sigh was directed at him, “but I really wanted today to be nice.”

“It is,” you told him, “I really like it.”

And you did. Even though you desperately wished that it was all real.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

Dinner was served after an hour and it tasted amazing. You took your first bite and moaned quietly at how good it tasted. 

“I’m in love,” you groaned, “You’re amazing.”

Hyunjin’s eyes darkened and he licked his lips, “So I’ve been told.”

You were too engrossed in your meal to notice how Hyunjin looked at you. 

While you were eating, the conversation between the both of you slowly drifted back to the artwork Hyunjin showed you the other day.

“Did you ever end up submitting it?” You asked him and Hyunjin nodded, “I actually did. I’m still waiting for feedback, but it sounds like they actually liked it.”

“They should, it was breathtaking.”

Hyunjin’s ears turned red in response, “Thank you.”

You smiled softly and took another bite of your food.

“I’m serious. You’re so good.”

“I’m better at other things.”

You looked right at him and Hyunjin did too, and for a mere second, the both of you were only two people attracted to each other. At least that is what you desperately wanted this moment to be.

“Truth or dare?” 

“Sorry?” Hyunjin laughed.

You repeated yourself, “Truth or dare?”

“Is this a second date or a sleepover?”

You pouted, “I just want to have a little fun.”

“We can have fun in soo many other ways,” Hyunjin teased you again with a twinkle in his eyes, letting you know that he was partly joking, “but let’s go. Truth.”

“This is something I’ve been wondering the past few days,” You licked your lips as you gained some courage, “But who was your painting about? If you had someone in mind, that is. It had so many feelings, I’m just curious, I guess.”

Hyunjin was visibly taken aback and turned a bit shy.

“Something like that,” He mumbled and looked down at his plate. You felt yourself grow embarrassed now, already regretting that you asked him this question. You need to learn how to respect boundaries more, you reminded yourself, the both of you are not even close friends. Hyunjin was free to paint what he wanted and about whom he wanted, but why was your heart breaking at the thought? Of him having feelings for someone who was not you? He was your friend. You needed to stop allowing your crush to take over.

“Truth or dare.”

Hyunjin interrupted your self deprecating thoughts and smiled at you.

“Truth.”

“This is very personal,” Hyunjin started and poked around in his meal, “but why did you want to go on fake dates with me?”

“Why did you offer?”

Hyunjin smiled, “It’s your turn.”

“Because I have never been on good dates, I guess,” you shrugged, “And you were so enthusiastic about dating, I just wanted to know what it would be like. Even though it’s fake.”

Hyunjin smiles weakly, “I hope the dates we went on were good so far?”

“I enjoyed them more than you know,” you answered truthfully. Hyunjin and you locked eyes for a few moments, before the both of you only smiled at each other.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

After dinner was over, Hyunjin brought you back home, despite your protests. He would not even accept money for driving you around, nagging that this was all “part of the experience” and “who would he be if he let his date pay for what he offered?”

Like last time, Hyunjin walked you to your front door. This time, though, he took your hand into his sweetly.

“What’s on your mind?” You asked him and looked into Hyunjin’s eyes. They were sparkling under the moonlight and it made your heart soar.

“Like, another truth?” He joked and squeezed your hands lightly. You smiled, “Yes.”

“I kinda don’t want tonight to end,” He admitted quietly and leaned in closer to you. Your noses were almost touching now.

“Dare,” you whispered and Hyunjin scoffed softly.

“I dare you to kiss me.”

And you did. You put your hands on his cheeks and pulled him into you. Hyunjin whimpered under your touch and put his own hands on your waist, dragging you flat against him. He kissed you until you were out of breath. When you turned away, his lips followed yours and he whimpered again.

“Come back,” he breathed while he gazed at you desperately with hooded eyes. He cradled your face in his hands, begging for your touch.

 “Need you.”

You allowed him to kiss you again and again and again and you got lost in his touch after all. He tasted so sweet and his lips were so soft, you did not want this moment to end. 

You were still in a haze when you pulled away and Hyunjin followed your lips again. He was so desperate for your touch, just like you were for his. Hyunjin furrowed his eyebrows and pressed peck after peck on the corner of your lips, just needing to touch you.

You put your hands on his strong chest and took a deep breath. Everything smelled like him and it was hard to form a coherent thought.

“Let’s just… not,” you mumbled and turned your head away slightly. Hyunjin let go of you immediately and took a step back. He looked light-headed and his hair was all over the place. His lips were red and plush from kissing you and his cheeks were burning.

Hyunjin licked his lips and looked at you apologetically. Before he could utter another word, however, you muttered him goodbye and walked through the door back inside. 

When you closed the door, you leaned against it and took a deep breath. A million thoughts were running through your head, all about Hyunjin. You were wondering why he kissed you so so passionately. Was it for the fake date or did he actually want to kiss you? You were in a haze and on cloud seven just thinking about how soft his lips felt against yours and how electric the tip of his fingers felt on your body. 

“Doesn’t he have a crush on someone?” You reminded yourself as you slid down the door. You put your face into your own hands, which were so cold now that you knew what Hyunjin’s touch felt like. You sighed and took your phone out of your pocket to dial Felix’s number. He would know that something was wrong if you did not tell him about the date the same night, so you did it now to get your mind off of what just happened. Felix picked up almost immediately.

“How was it?” He asked teasingly and you took another deep breath.

“It was… fine.”

˖⁺‧₊˚Phase Three: Relationship.˚₊‧⁺˖

If it had not been for Hyunjin texting you first, you probably would not have reached out to him. At least that is what you told yourself when you answered another message of his, answered to yet another meme he had sent you. Ever since your date, Hyunjin had not mentioned your kiss and neither had you; it was something of a silent agreement between the both of you to not talk about it, since it was part of the experiment. Yet, it sent your feelings into a spiral, more than you would like to admit. 

Hyunjin had been nothing but wonderful during your fake dates. He was attentive and thoughtful, and your friendship grew stronger by the second. The only thing that ruined it was your silly crush on him, which ironically inspired your book more than your regular dates would have had.

This is why, when you talked to Felix on the phone after the date, you did not mention the kiss. You were somewhat embarrassed by your feelings, even though all you wanted was for Hyunjin to actually mean it. At this point, it was pure selfinflicted torture. With every date that went by and every message Hyunjin sent you, you fell deeper and deeper for the man on the other side of your phone screen. And you felt uneasy and almost ashamed that you allowed your feelings to get the best of you and interpret so much more into the casual kiss than you should have.

If Felix noticed your conflicted feelings, he did not mention them. He asked you about the details of the date, but did not pressure you to reveal more than you were ready for. At the end, he asked you about your novel.

“Your deadline is soon, how are you holding up?”

You paused for a moment.

“Hyunjin was right, the dates are actually helping me. I’m almost finished.”

Felix hesitated, “That’s nice.”

The both of you kept silent after that and bid each other your goodbyes soon after. You wanted to write a bit more to follow your deadline and Felix had to call someone. It was important, as he claimed, and he hung up right after.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

Sighing, you turned to your laptop. Like you told Felix, most of your novel was already one. Only a few plot points were still missing, which you wanted to work on now. Coincidentally, the plot point was very similar to what you were going through. Your character had very confusing feelings towards the love interest, but unlike you and Hyunjin, the love interest actually liked them back. Conversely, you allowed your imagination to take over again. It was only for work, you told yourself. Imagining that Hyunjin could have possibly meant the kiss as something much more than a platonic one was to help you write. Nothing else. 

While you wrote your heart out, the man in question called you. You stared at your phone as it lit up, waiting for Hyunjin to hang up on you. As much as you yearned to hear his voice, you knew that it would be for the best to keep some distance from him, at least until you were done with your writing session for today.

Your phone screen went black again and for a minute, everything was fine. Then, the screen lit up again with a message from Hyunjin. 

“I hope I’m not interrupting your writing session. I hope you’re doing well today, see you soon. :)”

Your heart felt heavy when you read his message, and instead of ignoring him like you told yourself you would, you answered him one more time, before you turned our phone off.

“Thank you, you too. :)”

Hyunjin was, despite how you felt, still so nice to you. There was nothing this man would not do for you, as you had realised, and you were so grateful for his presence in your life. Your crush would not interfere with that, you would make sure of it.

Instead, you sent Hyunjin memes back, texted him occasionally, and pretended that everything was fine. And it was. At least that is what you told yourself over and over again.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

A few more days had passed and everything went somewhat back to normal. Hyunjin called you again that Friday and this time, you actually picked up. He invited you out for your third date, asking you if tomorrow would work for you. Even though you were nervous, you agreed. You felt anxious and thought your feelings might get in the way of your experiment, but this was Hyunjin you were talking about, your friend. It would turn out just fine.

When Hyunjin picked you up the next day, he brought you flowers to your doorstep. They were your favourites, just like the last two times. You thanked him and brought them back inside, before you followed him to his car.

“Where are we going today?” You asked him when you opened the car door and Hyunjin smiled widely, “It’s a surprise.”

You sat down and reached for the car door again. Hyunjin, however, took a step forward to help you with your carbelt again. He smirked slightly as he leaned over you and his cologne spread around you like a familiar scent, making you feel a lot calmer and a lot more nervous than you wanted to let on. 

“Let me do this for you, okay?” He whispered and leaned into you. Hyunjin looked right into your eyes and smiled lightly, clicked the belt in place. You felt your heart beat out of your chest and wondered if he noticed.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

You were silent during your car drive. Hyunjin talked about his new works and how much the company appreciated his paintings so far. While he spoke, you only listened to him.

“And I was thinking, since we only have one date left after today and my deadline is coming closer, would you want to come over in a few days? To pose?” 

Surprised, you turned your head around.

“Huh?”

Hyunjin blushed, “You don’t have to, obviously. I know that you’re working a lot too, right now. We can always do it during another time. There are a lot more exhibitions coming up, if this one goes smoothly.”

You looked at Hyunjin.

“I would love to.”

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

Hyunjin took you to the same park you went to during your first date. The weather was a bit more gloomy and chilly, but everything was just as beautiful as the last time. You got out of the car and took a deep breath, happy that you were not as close to Hyunjin anymore, and ashamed because of the same. 

Hyunjin led you towards the path along the lake again, like he did last time. This time, however, he did not carry a basket with him. It was only you and him and nothing between the both of you, except for the feelings you were hiding from him.

Unsuspectingly, Hyunjin only hummed and kept talking about everything that came to his mind. Despite the obvious slight awkwardness, it was still comfortable. Hyunjin was comfortable. The smile on his face was ever so prominent when he told you a few funny stories about his roommates from a few days ago. According to him, they were hoarding unseasoned chicken breast in their fridge and Hyunjin suffered from their protein addiction every day.

“They always try to get me to the gym,” he said and theatrically tossed his hands into the air.

You chuckled, “Impossible.”

“Like me dancing for money is not enough of a workout,” he huffed jokingly. 

You raised an eyebrow, “You do?”

Hyunjin noticed the implications of his words and laughed sulkingly, “You’re supposed to be on my side!”

“I am!” You argued and frowned, “When am I not?”

Taken aback, Hyunjin glanced at you.

“You’re right,” he whispered, before his smile went back onto his face, “And that’s why you’re my favourite.”

Your heart stopped and you grimaced slightly. It was one thing to hide your feelings, but Huynjin jokingly flirting with you made it hard. He did not notice anything, however, and only interpreted your grimace as a joke. A joke between two friends.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

While you were walking, you noticed that Hyunjin’s hand occasionally grazed yours. At first, you thought that it was an accident. Then, he did it again and again and looked at you fleetingly. He did it on purpose, you noticed, just like he did last time. It made your heart beat faster in your chest and clench at the thought at the same time. Here he was, being your friend, and your heart betrayed you once again.

This time, Hyunjin sensed that something was wrong and asked you worriedly, “Are you okay?”

You nodded, but did not dare to look at him.

“I’m fine. Just didn’t sleep that well.”

Hyunjin huffed and the familiar sparkle went back into his eyes. 

“I can always help you out with that,” he winked. It made you feel warm inside, but you tried to ignore that feeling. Part of the experiment, you reminded yourself.

You did not answer him and opted to look away instead. Hyunjin took your hand into his and wiped his thumb against the back of your hand. He stood still and so did you.

“Hey,” he said and pulled you closer into him. You looked up, right into his eyes. They sparkled and radiated so much warmth, just like they always did. 

“I’m serious. We’re… friends, right?”

Friends. Yeah.

You nodded at his words. In response, Hyunjin smiled again and squeezed your hand.

“Now c’mon, let’s sit down for a moment, yeah?”

Your heart would not stop beating in your chest. It went so fast you almost felt dizzy, all because Hyunjin still had your hand in his.

Hyunjin pulled you towards a bench near the path and told you to sit down. You did and as did he. It was quiet between the both of you. All you heard was your beating heart. Hyunjin’s hand still grabbed yours tightly, absentmindedly playing with your fingers. 

“Actually, there’s something I wanted to tell you,” he said eventually and you hummed.

“Go ahead.”

Hyunjin was shy all of sudden and looked ahead towards the lake in front of him-

“I really like dating you,” he confessed and looked right at you. His beautiful eyes were shining so bright and he actually seemed nervous.

“I really like dating you too,” you agreed, praising his help as your friend. Hyunjin smiled and was relieved.

Then, he asked, “Can I be your boyfriend?”

Oh.

At first, you felt excited. Out of breath, even. You allowed yourself to consider for a split moment that this was Hyunjin actually confessing his feelings for you, but the truth hit you immediately. You felt so sad all of sudden and had to look away from him. This was all just an act, you repeatedly told yourself while Hyunjin’s eyes were still fixated on you. He was not interested in you, he was just being a good friend. He had his eyes on someone else, someone he painted about. Someone he probably thought about right in this moment, while he was playing pretend with you. 

You shook your head and laughed sadly, “I think we’re done here.”

Then, you whispered, “Can I go home, please?”

Hyunjin started at you.

“What?”

There was no way you could keep your composure if he kept talking to you, you thought and bit your lip.

“I just don’t feel good. I’d like to go.”

Hyunjin nodded confusedly, before his confusion turned into a frown. He got up first and let go of your hand.

“Let’s go,” he said emotionlessly and you got up, too. You walked back to his car in silence and did not utter a single word on your way back to your home. When you arrived, you only told Hyunjin, “Thank you for bringing me home.”

He only nodded.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

As you went back inside, the tears started pooling in your eyes. It was so silly of you to think that today would have gone well, when today was literally the day Hyunjin would ask you out for your experiment. You already knew that it was supposed to happen today, why did it take you by surprise?

Back in your bedroom, you cried. You weeped for minutes on end about all the feelings you had been buried deep inside your chest. The heartbreak felt so sudden, and yet, you had not done a good job at avoiding it, anyway.

Then, you were out of tears, just like that. You only sat on your bedroom floor like the picture of misery. That is exactly what you felt like.

Deciding that you really needed to talk about all of this, you called Felix. You needed your best friend right then and right now and as if he had sensed it, Felix picked up right away.

“This was such a shit idea,” you hiccuped and Felix understood immediately.

“What the fuck did Hyunjin do,” he threatend, “I will murder this man.”

You started to cry again at his words.

“It wasn’t him,” you cried and pulled your legs right against your chest, “It was me. I already had this stupid crush on him when we started fake dating and now…”

You interrupted yourself with another sob and Felix cooed.

“It’s okay.” “It’s not.”

You sniffed, “I have this stupid crush on my friend, who’s in love with someone else. I’m fucking miserable.”

“On someone else?” Felix exclaimed, “Not you? That man is obsessed with you. Hasn’t talked about anyone else ever since you guys started doing whatever it is that you do. He’s literally been painting your dates and it’s all he ever talks about. Y/N this, Y/N that, it’s as if you guys are dating already. He literally adores you so so much.”

“You’re a dumbass liar,” you sniffled again, “I will literally punch you the next time I see you.”

Felix went quiet for a moment.

“He asked me to help him plan the picnic. I got him a list of all of your favourite foods. He wanted to know all about your favourite flowers, too. That man is so crazy about you.”

You sighed, “Felix, please.”

“Would I ever lie to you?” He asked instead and you hesitated. Felix chuckled on the other side of the phone.

“See? Just trust me on this, okay?”

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

Felix hung up after you had promised him that you were fine over and over again. He even told you that he would come over after his shift was over. Even though you wanted to be alone, you still accepted his offer, knowing that he would drop by either way. 

A few minutes passed after your call with Felix ended. You got up from the floor and wiped your hands over your eyes. Then, your phone lit up again.

It was a call from Hyunjin. You did not answer him.

˖⁺‧₊˚Phase Four: Commitment˚₊‧⁺˖

For the next few days, you worked on your novel. Since your first draft was finished now, you had enough time to edit it before your deadline in a few days, and as you worked your way through your book, you were reminded of Hyunjin on every page. You reminisced about your meeting with Felix, when Hyunjin first offered his help. If only you had known how that one would turn out.

With every page and every plot point and every romantic scene, you smiled a bit more at your screen. You yearned for your time together and for how easy it had been. Working through your draft was painfully easy, given that everything was inspired by the problem that plagued you the most. When you were done, you sent your publisher your final draft and let go of your thoughts along with it.

During those days, Hyunjin stopped calling and texting you. He did at first, but you did not answer him. It was hard for you to face him, to think about what had happened and to pretend that you were fine. Maybe it would have been easier for you to say that you only felt under the weather and that was it. Yet, you also did not want to lie to Hyunjin. You did not want to continue onto your last date and pretend that everything was fine. Your novel was finished now, anyway, so there was nothing Hyunjin had left to do.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

Since Felix was friends with the both of you, he heard about your situation from both sides. Ever since you finally started opening up to him about your feelings towards Hyunjin, he had been trying to encourage you to talk to Hyunjin again.

“You’re an idiot,” Felix told you on the phone, “Both of you are. Fucking idiots.”

You rolled your eyes at his words, “I’m sorry that I value not having my heart broken.”

“If you did, you wouldn’t behave this way,” Felix shot back and you huffed. 

“Did you only call me to be mean to me?”

“I called you because I haven’t seen you in a while and if you don’t actually go out with me to celebrate your new book I will haunt you down.”

You groaned, “Do I have to?”

“Yes. See you tomorrow night.” 

With that, Felix hung up on you.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

When you got ready for your date with Felix, your mind drifted to Hyunjin again. It happened a lot, you thought as you put your shoes on. The last time you and Felix went to the cafe he suggested, Hyunjin had joined you on his lunch break. Maybe it could be cathartic to meet Felix there alone.

You made your way to the restaurant. It was not very crowded when you walked through the door. Felix, however, was nowhere to be seen.

You texted him again to make sure that he was fine and already decided on a table to sit at, just in case he was late. You kept your phone in your hands to wait for Felix’s response, but to no avail. Just when you thought about calling him, since he did not even read the message, you heard someone call your name. You looked up, right into Hyunjin’s eyes.

“Y/N,” he said and your mouth opened slightly.

“Hyunjin?”

He looked miserable. His hair, even though he had tried his best to make it look tidy, was unkempt, his clothes were slightly wrinkly, and his eyes had lost all of the sparkle they had left in them. It was as if he was only a shadow of his former self, just as miserable as you were.

“I’m meeting Felix,” was all you said and Hyunjin furrowed his eyebrows.

“That’s what he told me, too.”

Realising what Felix was up to, you stood up yourself, fully facing Hyunjin now.

“I think he won’t come,” you said quietly, “I think it’s best if I go.”

“NO!” Hyunjin took a step forward, his chest almost touching yours now. The both of you looked at each other in the middle of the restaurant and Hyunjin only took a step back when he noticed the baristas looking at you.

“Stay. I want to talk to you.”

You glanced over to the baristas, who were now straight up staring at the both of you. They looked oddly familiar, now that you were paying more attention to them. When the first barista noticed your eyes on him, he awkwardly walked backwards to hide behind the other one, who rolled his eyes at him. They were Jisung and Seungmin, who did not even work here. 

Sighing, you nodded at Hyunjin and sat back down. He seemed more alive now with a light smile on his face.

“Thank you,” he whispered and sat down in front of you. Nervously, he tapped on top of the table with his fingers, thinking about what to say.

“What are you coworkers doing here?” You asked suddenly and Hyunjin looked right at you again.

“Huh?”

“They’re kinda staring at us from behind the counter and I’m pretty sure that space is for employees only.”

Hyunjin turned around slightly. The eye contact with his two friends was brief, but enough. Jisung waved at him and Seungmin kicked him into his side. Hyunjin chuckled awkwardly.

“Helping?”

You sighed again quietly. 

“Hyunjin, what are we doing here?”

“I want to make it up to you,” he said suddenly, clenching his fist on the table, “I’m sorry if I hurt you.”

Now, it was your turn to be confused, “Hurt me?”

Hyunjin sighed and rolled his head into his neck, before he said, “I regret the experiment. It was a mistake.”

“Oh.”

Your heart felt heavy at his words and awful thoughts were starting to form inside your head. Hyunjin seemed to notice and put his hands closer towards you.

“That’s not what I mean,” he said immediately and took a deep breath.

“I regret that they were fake, I mean. I regret that I didn’t have the balls to ask you out for real.”

“Hyunjin…” you began, but he shook his head.

“I like you. Always have. I like you so much, I think I will go insane if I have to go another day without talking to you, texting with you, seeing you. Even if you don’t feel the same, please don’t let this ruin our friendship. You mean so much more to me that you know, and I’d rather keep you as a friend, even if I can’t have you for myself. If you want it too, that is.”

He looked absolutely heartbroken and so nervous. His eyes flickered between yours and for a brief moment, you saw a spark of hope in them. When you did not answer, it vanished as soon as it appeared.

“Do you mean it?” was  the only thing you asked and Hyunjin nodded.

“I do. You don’t know how many times I begged Felix to take me to his lunch dates with you again. For the longest time, I thought that you were dating, you and Felix, but then he told me that all of the guys occasionally went out with you two, and then Minho mentioned you ranting about some failed date to him, and I just-”

You chuckled and put your hand on the table in front of his.

“You’re so cute.”

Before Hyunjin could answer, he was interrupted by a bottle falling to the ground. The crash surprised the both of you, and Hyunjin took your hands into his without thinking, ready to protect you in case it was needed. It was sweet.

The culprit, however, was no one other than Jeongin, who had joined Jisung and Seungmin behind the counter. The both of them were staring at him now, scolding him in the process. Hyunjin groaned.

“I have no idea why they’re here,” he confessed and rubbed the back of your hands with his thumbs, “I rented the cafe and I thought we would be alone, but I told Felix about it. For some reason, he thought that it was a good idea to be included in the plan. Minho too. They’re in the kitchen, preparing some food, and I thought that was it. I don’t know why they invited these idiots along.”

“We can hear you,” Jisung called over and squinted his eyes. Seungmin hit him over the back of his head, “Fuck off.”

Hyunjin rolled his head into the back of his head and groaned again. You giggled and squeezed his hands.

“Leave them be, they’re just trying to help.”

“They’re only nosy,” Hyunjin mumbled, but squeezed your hands right back with a smile on his face.

Then, he put his head back up.

“I asked you a question the other day and you never answered,” Hyunjin said suddenly and you were confused.

“Huh?”

“Can I ask you again? Can I be your boyfriend?”, he smiled.

You smiled back. “Please.”

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

masterlist

erase me from your memory.

💭 GUIDELINES ‣ LIBRARY ‣ TAGLIST & ANONS ‣ IN PROGRESS ‣ REQUEST LIST ‣ PINNED

pairing: hyunjin x gender neutral reader

content warnings: post-breakup healing, sadness

rating: 13+

summary: half a year after you and hyunjin break up, you find that you’ve somehow healed.

🌱 untitled — hyunjin & i.n (2 kids’ show)

His name is one that your journal has known for a very long time – and it will be one that it will never forget. Pages upon pages you find him embedded into every word you poured out, every tear, every smile was written for him without you realizing it. Your entire world spun around him, and just as soon as he waltzed into your life, he left.

Please erase me from your memory and go find your happiness, he’d said to you then as you begged him to stay. He didn’t seem to understand that his touch would forever be tattooed onto your skin, his passing love would always be yearned by your heart, and his words would forever burn in your mind. Hwang Hyunjin would be a love that you were determined to remember for as long as humanly possible, because although his feelings for you had fizzled out over time, it was once as intense and real as the sun that rises and falls every day.

You weren’t angry at him anymore, a part of you had finally come to understand that nothing lasts forever, and that Hyunjin was your dream love and would always remain just that – a dream. All that was left of you was a shell of who you’d once been before him, though there was a certain hollowness that ate you up from within. Dying of heartbreak was something you thought was real when you watched the door close behind him for the very last time, spending weeks catching glimpses of his shadow from the corner of your eyes and deluding yourself into thinking you’d heard his voice as you waited for your shattered heart to finally give up pumping your blood through your veins. A life without Hyunjin was one you didn’t think was worth living.

However, half a year has gone by since you spoke to him last, and you were still alive, still breathing. You were currently in the same park in which you’d met him some years ago, sitting on the very same bench in which you’d sat with him for hours after first meeting as you chatted about everything and nothing and unknowingly fell headfirst into love. And although the memory sent a twinge of pain, you realized for the first time in what had felt like forever that you could breathe properly and that you were okay now. Most of all, you understand now that Hwang Hyunjin would be a memory that you would look back on with fondness when you’re older and wiser – perhaps he will be the love you would tell your children about when they inevitably get their hearts broken for the first time. You were grateful for the opportunity to know such a unique soul, and to have had him in your arms if only for a brief moment.

You saw him from afar today at the coffee shop at the end of the street, but you don’t think he noticed you. This was what compelled you to return to this park for the first time in a while, because he looked well and healthy. He had carried on with his life, and maybe you have as well. All you could really hope was that he remembered you as well, and that when he found his next lover, if he hadn’t already, he thought of you and the beautiful life you had once planned together.

Please erase me from your memory and go find your happiness, he’d said to you then as you begged him to stay. He thought forgetting would be a blessing, but you didn’t need to forget him to feel okay or to find happiness. You didn’t think he understood the impact he’d had in your life and that was okay.

You are fine. You are alive and well, but most importantly, you are healing.

word count: 644 🌱 posted: 12 • 01 • 2023

💬 a note from green;

after posting jeongin’s you can blame me if you want, i listened to the song again. somehow doing it made me think of my own journal — specifically from when i was going through my first heartbreak. it was a bittersweet experience, and i was able to see how much i’d grown since then. for the first time since i thought about my ex, i realized i was grateful for the pain. without such pain that they caused me, i wouldn’t have learned what i wanted and needed out of a relationship.

to anyone who’s going through a breakup: no one dies from a broken heart. one day you will wake up and your heart won’t ache anymore. it won’t feel empty. a day will come when you will smile again, fall in love again, and look back at this moment with pride as you take notice of your growth.

🪲 TAGLIST !

# @grandpafelixx

Skz making a bet on you Hyung line pt.2

Pairing: OT8 SKZ x f!Reader

Genre, AU: angst ofc, lovers to exes!AU

Warnings: cursing, mentions of cheating, many mentions of insecurities. I think that abt it

Summary: you happened to learn one day that the never really loved you and only made a bet with the other members to see if you would fall in love with them

A.N: Not proof read at all and this is the hyung line pt.2 to the previous one. Maknae Line pt.2 is coming soon

Parts: Hyung Line Pt.1 Maknae Line

BANG CHAN He didn't even notice you were gone until his call ended. Going around the house, he called your name multiple times. When he got no reply, he assumed you went on a grocery trip. So, he took his time to shower, get dressed and get ready for bed. Before he knew it, he drifted off to sleep.

Chan hated waking up cold. You weren't there beside him. He'd gotten used to always holding you through out these 7 years. He grabbed his phone off the night stand and checked the time. It was already 6:57 in the morning. Not hearing from you at all left him with a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.

So he immediately dialed your number. It rang once. Then twice. Then three times. You never let it ring more than two times so why weren't you answering? Finally, it went to voicemail. He called a couple more times just for all of them to go to voicemail. He started panicking. It was unusual of you to not pick up his calls unless something went wrong. One more time, just calling you one more time to make sure.

You woke up to the sound of your phone buzzing uncontrollably. Rubbing your droopy eyes, you took your phone and answered it. “Hello?” You groggily said.

“Y-y/n? Where are you? Why weren’t you picking up my calls!? Hello? Y/n?”

The moment you hear his voice, the sleepiness left your body. You stayed silent because you were sure that you’d burst into anger and most likely tears if you tried to talk to him.

“Y/n? Why aren’t you answering me? I-I-I’m worried… Please just say something. You’re scaring me…”

You sat up in bed, holding the phone close to your ear. After clearing your throat you finally answered him.

“What do you want?” You were right. You were a little too irritated the moment you started talking to him.

“What do I want…? What do you mean!? I’m worried sick right now because you weren’t picking up my calls and you didn’t even come home last night. You could’ve at least texted me something, y/n. Don’t just leave me guessing of all the possibilities that could’ve happened to you!” He was practically yelling into the phone at this point and it only made you angrier.

“Well, I’m sorry I’m not being the toy who sees you as their protector and is so incredibly annoying that you can’t say it to her and instead to your fucking friends!”

Chan was speechless for a few minutes before speaking up again. “What..?” He said almost breathlessly.

“I heard that phone call you were on.” You began sniffling and the tears began to fall. “You said that you had fun… fun playing with my feelings and making me believe that you were my protector an-an-and how annoying I was…” You could hear him sighing on the other end and you began to think that he was going to agree with you but he didn’t.

“No… no, Baby, you got it all wrong. I-I shouldn’t have worded it like that.” He sighed once more. “I was talking about when I pranked you earlier this week. When I pretended that I was dead when you tried to wake me up. And then you began crying telling me how much you loved me.”

As he told you about it, you began to remember. Why were you so stupid? You began grabbing your things and walking to the shared apartment, all while listening to his explanation.

“Now there’s nothing I can say about the annoying part. But I did say that because—. Wait, you didn’t hear me tell him— never mind. What I’m saying is that I started the sentence like that because I was saying that it just made me realize all the more how much I loved you no matter how hard it got between us. Because I know these small fights we have between each other and how mad we can get and how petty the arguments are. I just love you so much and the way you cried over me broke my heart. You’re everything I could ever possibly ask for and I’m just so gra—”

He turned his head and saw you standing in the doorway of the bedroom looking an absolute mess. He hadn’t heard when you came in since he was so busy talking to you.

“When’d you get here..?” Chan stood up and made his way over to you to make sure you were alright as he checked around your body. He had tears in his eyes. You couldn’t help but stare at your boyfriend’s face in awe.

“I-I-I-I thought you didn’t love me and I got scared. S-so I left but now everything is making sense and I feel so stupid. I’m so stupid. I shouldn’t have—”

Chan took you into his arms, muffling your words. “Don’t say that. You have every right to think that way especially from what you heard. But don’t worry. I love you more than words can express.” The two of you cried into the comfort of each others arms and you’ve never felt better.

After tears were dried and things were dealt, Chan looked at you curiously. It made you a bit flustered. “Wh-why are you staring at me like that. Want to take your words back now?”

“No! I’m just wondering… how’d you get here so fast?”

“I-I-I was at my friend’s apartment. It’s a floor above us.”

He took you into his arms once again, chuckling. “God, I want to marry you.” All you could do was blush. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LEE MINHO The next day, Minho ran up to you and swung an arm around your neck. You were quick to push it off. He frowned and made a little pouting face.

"What's wrong? Why did you leave without me last night?"

You quickly answered each of his questions. Not wanting to be in his presence much longer. "Nothing. Something came up." You rushed past him and to class. Finals were just around the corner and you didn't have time to be dealing with someone like him.

This was your last year of school. You didn’t want the unwanted drama. You’ve sailed through school as a well-natured person, favored by the teacher’s. You didn’t want to ruin your reputation now.

But it wasn’t as easy as you thought. Minho would continue to bug you in each and every class. No matter what you were doing he was there. Constantly pushing him away wasn’t working and ignoring him CLEARLY wasn’t working. So you resulted to the only thing you had left, confrontation.

Without second thought, you went straight to him after school and kicked him in the shin.

“Ow! Who the fuck!” He quickly turned around to face you as his demeanor slowly changed. “O-oh, y/n… It’s you.” He sounded kind of disappointed if you were being completely honest.

“What did you do that for, Sweetheart?”

You rolled your eyes and stormed off. Leaving him to chase after you.

"Woah, woah, woah, hey..." He grabbed you by the wrist and spun you around. "What's the matter?"

He was the most disgusting human being on this planet and you didn't want anything to do with it. It made you extremely irrtated and you didn't want to be there. If anything, his act he was putting up was probably all a part of that sick and disgusting, "joke," as they called it.

"We'll talk about it tomorrow."

That was all you said before finally getting in your car and driving home. You hated that you were such a pushover. You hated that no one coud truly accept you for you. You hated that you were so stupid. You hated that you were so blind. You hated yourself.

You pondered over the entire weekend. Highschool's almost over. It didn't matter now. But to you, it did matter. You weren't going to just let people treat you like trash anymore. You knew just what to do.

On Monday, you came in as a fresh new person. Both physical wise and mental wise. You weren't gonna let people fuck with you anymore. You spent the whole weekend researching on makeup. You already knew lots about fashion. Your closet was already filled with fashionable items, you just weren't sure when to wear them.

With some accents to your school uniform, you looked perfect. Now the problem was the makeup. This wasn't your forte. You've never really used makeup so it was a struggle. But with enough practice, it was almost perfect. Even though it was a struggle, your makeup came out just fine.

When walking in, you could feel the eyes that followed you. It made you super uncomfortable. Maybe you did your makeup wrong and looked like a clown instead of what you intended. Your anxiety quickly built up and you ran for the bathroom. On the way there, you bumped into a wall. Well, a body rather.

The boy gently pushed your body off of his and you were quite dissapointed with the boy you were faced with. It was Minho.

"Woah... miss, are you okay? You should watch where you're going. You're too pretty to be hurt. Are you new here?"

All you could do was scoff. People were staring because you all of a sudden looked beautiful in other's eyes. Even Minho couldn't recognize you.

"It's me, Dipshit."

"Y-y/n?"

You rolled your eyes and kicked him in his balls before leaving the scene. That was the best feeling in your life. Two less problems to deal with. Minho and the judgement of society. Fuck the rest. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SEO CHANGBIN You kept crying throughout the night. It shouldn't hurt this much but you couldn't help the tears from falling. At about 9pm, Changbin knocked on the door.

"Y/n..? I know you're upset with me but please come eat dinner. Please?"

When you didn't reply, you could hear him sigh. It's not that you didn't want to talk to him and that you were ignoring him. It was just that you weren't sure if your mental state could handle that right now. You didn't want to just lash out at him.

There was some clinking and clanking in the kitchen before you heard the front door shut. It made you want to cry even harder. But you were sure that any other girl would do better for him. Than the one who currently had her back against the door as she cried.

You slowly got up and opened the door to see if he really left. It kind of broke your heart but what else could you really do in this situation? You made your way to the couch and sat down, holding your knees close to your chest. The tears were unstoppable and kept coming. It wasn't like you wanted them to, it's just you didn't know how to stop them.

As you were drowning in you sorrows, you heard the front door open. Immediately, your head shot up only to see Changbin standing there with a guilty look and a bouquet of flowers. He stood there frozen in his place.

"Baby, why are you still u-"

"Where were you?" You interceded.

Taking a quick glance between you and the door, he pointed towards it.

"I figured that you'd need space so I went out. Then I realized that you might think something bad about it. Like I'm leaving you or something. So I went to grab some gifts and come back home. So that I can beg you to take me back if you decided to break up with me. If you didn't take me back then I wo-"

At this point, Chanbin was just rambling on and on. You could see how sorry he was and it made you feel like you were a fool. So you ran to him and wrapped your arms around his frame. You cried into his chest not knowing what else you could do.

Changbin was a little to stunned to move or speak for a minute. But he slowly embraced you after setting the roses down.

"Baby... I thought you'd be mad at me." He cautiously stated.

Your lower lip quivered as you replied to him. "I-I am! But just a little bit. I'd rather have you by my side than lose you forever over something silly. Plus it happened in the past and you told me yourself. S-so I guess it makes it a better..."

And at that, Changbin holds you even tighter and lets out a sigh of relief. "I thought I would lose you forever over a mistake, in the past, I made. Thank you for forgiving me." He pressed a soft kiss on your forehead. But you shook your head.

"No, thank you for loving me." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ HWANG HYUNJIN After running for a while, you slowed down and began walking. You went to the Han River and took a seat on one of the benches. Checking your phone, to see the battery life was out and decided to take the time to relax. A lot had already been going on in your life. You had just found out that your mother was sick and you didn't want to tell Hyunjin because that would make him worry. You got reprimanded at work for getting an order wrong. Nearly fired because you "didn't know how to do your job right."

It was a stressful day and you just hoped that movie night would make it better. Except it didn't. It made it worse.

Having to find out from Jisung instead of Hyunjin himself really hurt. You knew that Hyunjin would tell you when he was ready. But, you couldn't shake off the feeling that he never liked you, let alone love you, to begin with.

You also knew that Hyunjin loved you and you were just overthinking. But were you? The river was peaceful as is and you didn't want to face reality right now so that's where you stayed.

It wasn't until nearly midnight, did you return home. Upon entering your apartment, you were met with a very distraught Hyunjin. He looked freaked out about something. But as soon as he saw you, he took you into his arms, tightly. He sobbed out onto your shoulder as he said, "thank you," over and over again.

"H-hyunnie..? What's wrong?" You ask worriedly. Yes, you were upset. But seeing him like this did something to you.

"I thought- I thought that something happened to you. You weren't picking up your calls or replying to my messages so I told the boys and other friends we both knew to contact you too, figuring you didn't want to talk to me of all people. B-but then they all said they couldn't reach you either. So I came to your apartment and when you weren't here I got absolutely terrified. What if you didn't make it home? What if you got hurt. What if you got KIDNAPPED!? And that would all happen because I was too stupid to admit the truth. Because I made you angry. Because I made the one person I promised not to hurt, hurt so badly. A-a-a-a-an-and-"

He was terribly hyperventilating at this point so you grabbed his face and kissed him. He immediately softened into the kiss. His breathing got slower and his body began to slump.

You slowly pulled away and gazed into his eyes as you started consoling him.

"Hyunnie... my phone died and I stayed by the Han River. I did not get hurt or kidnapped as you can see. Since, I'm standing right in front of you right now. If anything did happen, I would never let you blame yourself because it wouldn't be your fault. Besides, I love you and I wouldn't want you to live with that."

His teary eyes looked into yours as his lips formed a soft pout. "You still love me?"

"Of course I do. Even if you made a bet on me."

It made him cry even more at the fact that you still had this much trust in him.

"I love you too."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Taglist: @123rinu @pgnwook @mixtape-racha @hannieslovebot @lolareadsimagines @garrixer-06 @bandolls @chansbabygirlsstuff @camilagonzalex @mariteez @beccaskz @kibs-and-bits @kaitchan

@lynlyndoll @bangchansslut6 @hanniemylovelyquokka @changbinsjuicybiceps @xx-twalia-xx @bangchansprettygf @lvlnijiro @totallynotlyntv @htnw004 @shecheatedwithme @jiisungllvr @neteyamsmate4life @yoongles2025 @cosniffee @gdaymates @iilliess @tadashisdisaster sry if I missed u on the taglist

An Accepted Challenge

Pairing: Hyunjin x fem!reader Genre: Fluff(for the most part), Angst(duh), High school!AU WC: 0.8k Warnings: character death, tears, yelling, pet names(princess, baby, angel), idk(tell me if i missed sum) Song rec: The One That Got Away - Katy Perry A.N: Don’t blame me, blame the TikTok I saw like 3 weeks ago

Your leg bounced up and down as you waited for Hyunjin at the usual spot. You attempted to ease your mind by pushing yourself on the swing and rubbing your hands to keep from the cold. But it was to no avail.

Just as you were about to lose hope, your boyfriend of 3 years came trudging down the dark path, his shoulder scrunched up to his neck.

He smiled and said, “Sorry, princess. Had to wait for the right time to get out the house. Everything alright?”

You returned his kind smile. “Nothing. Just wanted to see you.”

“Well, you could’ve just facetimed me. We do that all the time.”

“Yeah but I wanted to see you in person. Hold you? Maybe?”

Hyunjin chuckled before pulling you into a warm embrace. It started as a sniffle before you started sobbing into his shoulder. He tried to move to see if you were doing okay but you only held him tighter.

“Baby, what’s wrong. What’s got my princess so upset.” He gently rubbed your back and soothed your hair. “You know you can tell me anything. Only if you want to of course.”

You shook your head. “I-I just really miss you. A lot lately. I don’t know why, I just do.”

A smile spread across his face and his eyes filled with adoration for you, not that you could see. But he’ll tell you later anyways. He softly kissed the top of your head and rocked you back and forth.

When your cries finally came to a stop, you finally looked up at him. “I love you. So so so much.” ~~~ Over the next few weeks, Hyunjin refused to leave your side. Clinging to you like a baby would to a mother. This wasn’t anything new for the two of you but you must admit, it was a bit of a surprise. Usually, you were the one initiating all this cuddles.

You looked up at Hyunjin from where you could see and captured his eyes with yours.

“Hyunnie we’ve been like really close lately.”

“Why? Do you not like it?”

“No it’s not that. I just thought of something we should try.”

He raised his eyebrow questioningly. It sent you into a fit of giggles.

“It’s not anything bad I promise. Just a little challenge and I know you loooooove challenges.”

Your boyfriend leaned down and pecked your lips. “Tell me about this genius challenge of yours.” You smiled widely and Hyunjin raised his eyebrow once again.

“Okay, now I don’t know if I should be fine with this anymore.”

“You should!! It’s a quick challenge, I promise!”

“Okay. Okay! Just tell me already! Quit keeping all this suspense.” He pouted at you.

“You’ve been all touchy touchy lately and I don’t know if you can even keep away from me for a week.”

Hyunjin sat up from his position, holding his hand over his heart. Clearly offended. “Can too!”

“Can not.” You rolled your eyes.

“CAN TOO!!”

“Okay then accept my challenge.”

“Bet.”

“Shake on it?”

“Shake on it.”

You raise your hand, offering it to Hyunjin. He gladly accepts as he shakes your hand.

MONDAY: It was harder than either of you initially thought. Even though you proposed the idea, you must admit, it was a bit lonely without him. Hyunjin on the other hand just missed you.

He thought you were just talking about meeting up in person but you restricted him from texting or calling you either. This was so unfair to him. He just wanted to see his baby. His princess. His sweetheart.

TUESDAY: Tuesday rolled around and he just really wanted to text you. His phone was right there! He grumbled loudly.

In school, you wouldn’t even talk to him. He couldn’t talk to you. You’d just pass him by without a single glance and he felt his heart break. How could you be so cruel?

WEDNESDAY: By now he started getting used to it. Some mutual friends began to think the two of you had broken up. But he reassured them that you hadn’t.

It was getting easier to ignore this yearning feeling but he still missed you. He wanted to hold you. Fuck, talking to you would’ve been enough.

THURSDAY: Seeing you but feeling like a stranger was torture to him. Acknowledge him please. Anything!

Quit acting like he didn’t exist!

Now you weren’t even coming to school so he couldn’t even see you. This sucked. He should’ve never accepted the challenge. But he had to stand tall and prove you wrong.

FRIDAY: He felt like a zombie. Just moping from day to day now. He didn’t expect it to be this hard. Things like this were so much easier when he was younger.

He could go a whole summer without talking to his friends and still be friends the next year. But that was when he was younger. He had to keep conversations with people to keep the bond.

It was driving him crazy. Two more days. Just two more days.

SATURDAY: He began to regain hope. He could finally see you after so long. Well not now at least. But just one more day and he would be able to talk to you and hold you.

Do everything he couldn’t for the past week. He was deprived of you and needed you ASAP. Anything to just be with you.

SUNDAY: HE’S SEEING YOU TOMORROW!!! He couldn’t wait. All the things he could do with you. He’s been waiting forever and he’ll even win the challenge.

He felt so giddy the entire day.He could finally hold his pretty little angel in his arms. Now he even looked forward to the school day ahead. ~~~ With all of his excitement he got ready early in the morning and headed to your house to pick you up. There were white flowers by the door. Your mother must’ve chose a new type of flower to decorate your home.

But when you didn’t come out after 7:43 he got worried. You’d usually be out by 7:30 so where were you.

He went up to your door and rang the doorbell.

No answer.

He rang once more.

The door opened and on the other side stood your mother. Hyunjin smiled brightly as he asked, “Hi Mrs.(l/n), do you happen to know where Y/n is?”

Your mother broke down in tears. “Oh dear do you not know? Wait. Wait here. I’ve got something for you.”

Hyunjin stood patiently at the doorway as he watched your mother disappear back into the house. He was worried. Normally your mother was a very cheerful and welcoming woman. He wanted to comfort her but she left too quickly.

When your mother returned, she held an envelope in her hands. “Here. I think she should explain to you herself.” Hyunjin took the envelope but before he could say anything, he was faced with a shut door.

As Hyunjin walked the rest of the way to school, he excitedly opened the envelope. Inside he found a letter along with a necklace he’d given you for your first valentines together. The necklace of a paintbrush that attached to his matching paint pallet one.

Was this your way of breaking up with you?

He quickly opened the letter to read.

“Hey Hyunnie. If you’re reading this, you probably won the bet. I wish I could congratulate you with a million kisses. You’re an amazing person and an amazing boyfriend. Wanted to let you know before I drop this all on you. It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s just that I’m too scared to tell you. I’m not here anymore. The day I called you to the park, crying, I found out about my condition. All I wanted to do was stay healthy and I couldn’t even do that. I couldn’t even do that for you. I’m so sorry. I wanted to spend my last month with you because I love you so much and I’d want to leave you with the best memories. I gave you that week long challenge so that you wouldn’t have to see me whither away. It hurts so much, Hyun. I don’t want to die like this. I want to be with you and grow old with you. But it just hurts too much. Maybe in another life we could be together. I’m so sorry. I love you so so much. I’m so proud of you. You survived an entire week without me. So continue to do that for the rest of your life. For me please? I don’t want to see you here anytime soon. I really do love you. Goodbye, Hyun.”

Hyunjin dropped to his knees and sobs racked through his body. How could he think so horribly of you? All he thought about was his suffering and never yours. How could he be so selfish? He clenched the letter in his fist as he stared at the sky. Forcing a smile onto his lips.

“I love you too.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A.N. Hello everyone. Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed. Hopefully I didn’t break your hearts too bad this time😔 Feedback is greatly appreciated. This TikTok is the culprit of this fanfic

Taglist(dm or send in ask if u want to b added): @jinnie-ret @kai-lee08

"𝑺𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒊𝒔 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒊𝒕'𝒔 𝒈𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆?"

Part2 Partnership: Hwang Hyunjin x Femreader Genre: Angust Synopsis: A relationship that started out as a beautiful fairytale turns into a problem when your beloved boyfriend no longer has time for you. Warnings: Swearing, Hyunjin being a bit of a asshole.

**Masterlist here**

Author's note: So, I've been having a rough couple of days so we're going to have a lot of angsty stories here, but I promise it won't last(this story will have a satisfying ending ok?). I hope you enjoyed it, sorry for any mistakes, you guys take care &lt;3

"𝑺𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒊𝒔 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒊𝒕'𝒔 𝒈𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆?" (2)

Part1 Partnership: Hwang Hyunjin x Femreader Genre: Angust with happy ending Synopsis:Realizing the mistake he had made, Hyunjin feels obliged to make things right because he doesn't know how to live without his beloved, the problem is whether you will accept him back (Note: the house is hers but they were living together) Warnings:Swearing, a lot of anguish

The rain was falling heavily on Hyunjin's trembling body, he could feel the icy wind beating against him and not even the heavy coat he was wearing could warm him up, causing his teeth to chatter, the hair that had once been so beautifully tidy was now sticking to his face and dripping down his cheeks, mixing with the tears that were running down his eyes. He looked pathetic standing there all wet as he cried in front of her door.

He remembered the first time he had seen her, she was wearing a fluffy dress that he had accidentally ruined with the juice he was carrying, he would never have imagined that this little accident would have made him meet the love of his life, it had been years since that moment, years of a happy and perfect relationship that he had ruined. How had he let it get to that point? How could he be so stupid as to lose the most important person in his life?

He raised his hand but stopped before he touched the door, he was undecided whether or not to do it, after all he had lost her through his own stupidity and it would be selfish to ask her to come back after everything, but he simply couldn't handle her being away any longer, Hyunjin had always been a bit selfish after all. He knocked on the door a few times, he had to wait so long standing there that he thought his body would freeze, but he was determined to stay there for weeks if necessary just to have the chance to talk to her and beg for her forgiveness. A low sound brought him out of his thoughts and the door opened, she was standing there wearing the pajamas he had given her a few months ago, which made him smile sadly.

— Hyunjin? — She whispered quietly, surprised to see him there after so many weeks —  What..... Why are you in the rain? You're going to get sick! — She said and reached out and pulled him into the house, closed the door behind her and quickly made him take off his coat and shoes.

Hyunjin felt even worse when he saw how carefully she was treating him, the guilt of having ruined everything eating away at him so much that when she approached him with a towel to dry him off he began to cry and sob, covering his face with his hands as he let all that anguish and sadness drain away in tears, he cried like he had never cried before and she hugged him so tightly making him feel a little safe. The two of them ended up kneeling on the floor without letting go of each other and stayed there together in silence for a long time until he calmed down.

— I... I'm sorry.... —   He whispered trembling, holding her like his life depended on it  —   I... I know I've been a horrible boyfriend, that I've hurt you, that I've made you suffer, but I swear I didn't mean it. I love you, I love you more than I've ever fucking loved anyone else.... You're my fucking soul mate, the love of my life. God, if you only knew all the times I've dreamt about our wedding, imagined what our children would be like, imagined what it would be like to grow old with you and see our children grow up, our grandchildren... Fuck... I know I've ruined everything, that I've been an asshole to you, that I don't deserve you anymore, I don't even know if I ever deserved you, but I regret everything I've done so much... I know it's selfish to ask you to come back to me, that it would be absurd to ask you to forgive me, I know, but... - Hyunjin poured out the words so quickly and with such intensity, stopping only to pull away and hold her face gently in his hands - I can't live without you, you're everything I've ever wanted and more, I... I love you so much... Don't cut me out of your life, I know I don't deserve you as my own, but don't abandon me, I'll do anything for you, I'll quit my job, I'll move to another country... Anything.... Or let me at least be your friend... Please...

— Ah, Hyunjin... My Hyunjin...  —   She whispered softly looking at him in tears and hugged him even harder again, now it was her turn to cry holding him, the man who had become the love of her life, her whole world  —   My sweet Hyunjin... I love you so much, but I don't want that again, it was almost like we were already apart, like... Like you didn't care about me anymore... You were so focused on work that you barely noticed things happening, that's not right with me, Hyun... —   I know it's not, I know I've done wrong, I know I've been garbage, but I can change, I promise I can  —   he says, putting his face to her neck and sighing, he felt as if his heart was being cut by a thousand knives  —   I'm going to take care of you like I did in the beginning, I'm going to make you happy... I'm going to dedicate my life to you, my muse...

That nickname, that phrase, were the same ones he had said when he asked her to be his girlfriend, and he had lived up to them at least until these last few months, it wasn't fair to use those words again when he knew the effect they would have, but it was his last hope, his last attempt. — Jinnie...  — She whispered so softly that he barely heard, he brushed his nose lightly against her neck which made her sigh, it was a cheap trick and she knew it but it made her heart melt  — Fuck.. Kiss me... Please...

He thought he had heard wrong, but when he looked into her eyes and saw the affectionate way she was looking at him, he realized that she meant it and a faint smile took over his lips before he kissed her, a kiss that was so delicate but full of love and affection, just like the first one and all the others after it. His kisses were always so passionate and made her heart soar, he was always so devoted that he always made her sure she had made the right choice in accepting him, which was why it had been so hard to break up with him and impossible not to take him back. She would always take him back because she knew that no matter how difficult things got, he would always be devoted to her and would find a way to put things right again.

Author's note: I hope you enjoyed it, sorry for any mistakes. Take care and have a good night &lt;3 ( Masterlist here )

just in case | hhj

pairing: hyunjin x (gn) reader.

wc: 8.6k

genre: fluff. angst. suggestive. romcom. office au. valentine’s day au. coworkers to lovers. slight enemies to lovers.

warnings: alcohol, heavy making out, a both snarky and unreliable narrator, all around just inappropriate behaviour for a workplace (but what else would you expect from an office au lmao.)

summary: your valentine’s day plans of bad cable and a bottle of wine take an unexpected turn, as when leaving the office you witness a completely different side of your least favourite coworker, hwang hyunjin. perhaps valentine’s day really does hold a little bit of magic.

a/n: this is so disgustingly late, frankly i’m ashamed. but life and such, you know how it is. this is for the sweet treats from skz event hosted by @districtninewriters. hope you all enjoy, and i’d recommend checking out everyone else’s works!! also i lowkey resent this fic for how long it has taken me, so i hope it’s okay.

Continuar lendo

Hyunjin sickfic when. *folds arms waiting patiently* 🤭

I love your writing sm I’m gonna cry

𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐠𝐨

pairing: hyunjin x fem!reader (afab)

genre: sick!fic. idol!hyunjin. hurt/comfort. angst. fluff. reader pov. established relationship.

content & warnings: explicit & strong language. mild thematic elements. hospital visit. this one's got angst in it. reader is sick (with a sprained ankle). hyunjin is worried af, as he should be lmao. reader has low self-esteem w/her dancing abilities, and has difficulty opening up about how she truly feels. pet names (affectionately). toothe-rotting fluff.

word count: 6.3k (yikes got carried away with this one wtf)

summary: it's been proving to be very difficult to keep the dance class that you take three times a week a secret from your boyfriend hyunjin. and the lies only become even harder to tell when you suddenly hurt your foot during class one night.

a/n: originally, i was planning on posting this yesterday as a kind of valentine's day gift for you guys, but then uni homework raw-dogged me like a total bitch and i got fucked over with a horrible migraine later in the night... i love my life!!! 😊 anyways, this was really fun to write- i FUCKING ADORE SOFT HYUNJIN!!! 😭 thanks for requesting, @hyungenie5... i hope this little piece of writing is to your liking, and thanks for your support~ 🤍

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ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴘᴏsᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sɪᴛᴇs (ᴛʜɪs ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇs ᴛʀᴀɴsʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴs). © ʙʟᴏssᴏᴍᴡʀɪᴛᴇsᴛʜɪɴɢs ⤐ ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛs ʀᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ

The dance class was supposed to remain a secret. No one - not even your boyfriend Hyunjin - was supposed to know that you were taking it until it was long over in the summer. By the end of the class, you hoped that your skills would improve immensely and that you’d be able to join your boyfriend in the studio some time to dance with him. 

 But unfortunately, those grand plans all came to a halt late one Friday night. 

 When you were practicing a certain twirl that had been giving you a hard time for the past week. For some reason, one of the laces of your sneakers had come undone. And this prompted you to trip over it when you suddenly came out of the spin. 

 You landed on the ground in a heap of limbs, clenching down hard on your jaw at the feel of a sharp pain shooting through your left ankle. The ache was agonizing, and it took everything in you to not scream out in anguish at the feeling that had quickly exploded inside your ankle. 

 Soon, your classmates rushed over and helped you off of the floor and onto a nearby bench, where your teacher took a look at your foot.

 “It doesn’t look too bad, it’s just a bit swollen from the impact,” she said, peering up at you, a sheen of sweat glistening across her exposed forehead. It was sweltering in the practice room at the gym where you were taking the lessons, and everyone crowding around you was out of breath from the routine that the class had been practicing tirelessly for the last month or so. “I’d advise you to keep off of it as much as you can for the next few days and ice it every night. Don’t come into class Monday and instead give it a rest, and it should be better by the next session on Wednesday.” Your teacher instructed you, before giving your knee a gentle squeeze and going back to a group of students who needed her advice on a certain move. You had class every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday late in the night, but surprisingly, the sessions were always packed with wannabe dancers, even late into the night. It just proved how many people desperately wanted to become better dancers. And you were one of those ‘people.’ 

 “Can you make it to your car alone?” One of your classmates asked. You looked up at Yejun, offering her a smile that quickly turned into a grimace of pain. You had met her soon after you started the class, and the two of you had grown closer over the past few months. 

 But no one knew who you were dating - who your boyfriend of three years was. They couldn’t know, otherwise, that would jeopardize everything Hyunjin did for work and your entire livelihood. So, you mostly stayed silent about the intimate details of your personal life with everyone else and opted to talk about the surface-level things in your life.

 “Yeah, I don’t think I can do it,” you laughed in a humorless kind of way. Without another word, Yejun was picking up the large duffle bag that you always brought with you to practice. Then, she was slipping an arm around your waist and leading you out of class and through the spacious gym. It was still relatively busy even for it being so late in the night on a Friday.

 “You promise that you’re gonna rest?” She rose a black, perfectly-manicured eyebrow your way as you shuffled out of the main doors of the gym. 

 And even though you had only known her for a few months, she could get a pretty good read on you. How you didn’t like asking people for help and how you tended to bottle things up all of the time. You had done such a thing since you were a very little girl, and you supposed there was no changing the way your mind was built. Even still, this aspect of your personality drove Hyunjin insane. He’d pry and pry and pry for you to tell him what was truly wrong with you, and it’d take more than just a few kisses and gentle words to finally get you to talk. It didn’t matter who you were with - who you were talking to - you just… couldn’t talk about really personal stuff most of the time. 

 “Yeah, yeah- I’ll rest all this weekend.” You rolled your eyes at Yejun as you stopped just in front of your car. You pulled out your keys, unlocking the doors before throwing your duffle bag into the backseat. 

 “Okay, well… drive safe and take it easy, yeah?” She mumbled, pulling you into a gentle hug, and you gave her a quick pat on the back before pulling away. “See you on Wednesday?” 

 You flashed her a playful wink, “Sure thing!” You waved her off as you slipped into the driver’s seat of your car. Your friend returned the gesture before she turned around and jogged back into the gym. 

 As soon as she was out of sight, you let out the moan of misery that you had been holding in for the last few minutes. The pain seemed to shoot through your ankle in quick increments, traveling up the length of your leg and pooling in your knee. 

 Holding onto the steering wheel with a death-like grip, you took a few deep breaths. The ache wouldn’t be this bad forever. You just needed to ice it. Just follow what your teacher told you to do, and you’ll be fine. You said all of these things and more to yourself inside your head as you turned your key in the car's socket and the car’s ignition roared to light. 

 Just get home and get in bed, and then everything will be alright. 

 But everything was not alright. 

 This was made so apparent when you stood in front of your apartment door and the remembrance dawned on you that Hyunjin had the entire weekend off. So that meant that he would be home earlier than he usually would be on a Friday night. And since it was a quarter-past-eleven at night, he was sure to be home.

 Fuck. 

 It had already been an entire production getting out of your car and into your apartment’s elevator, what with your limping form and all. But now you had to face your very own boyfriend, who wasn’t even aware that you were taking a dance class in the first place. You wanted it to be a surprise for him. You had always been self-conscious about your dance skills ever since you were a little girl. 

  And then you went ahead and started dating one of the best dancers in all of the Kpop industry. As a consequence, your self-esteem in the dancing department tanked astonishingly low. You’d regularly join Hyunjin in the studio late at night at the company, and sometimes he’d try to teach you some of Stray Kids choreo. But most of the time, you made a complete fool of yourself, and instead opted to just watch him from the sidelines. Watch in silence, offering praise when you could, about how perfect his angles were, how amazing his technique was, and how his flow and rhythm were impeccable with the music. 

 Meanwhile, deep inside your mind, you were playing the same thought over and over again; why can’t you just be a better dancer like him? Why can you just not suck at it, for once in your damn life? He probably thinks your horrible, and he’s right… no wonder why he stopped offering you teach you. 

 But in the new year, finally feeling fed up from always feeling shitty when your boyfriend would show you a video of his dance practices, or when you’d watch him in the studio, you decided to sign up for the beginner's contemporary dance class at your local gym. 

 It was daunting, at first, to go by yourself without knowing anyone there, but soon, you got used to the feeling and genuinely started to enjoy your time spend in the studio. It was hard work, that was for sure, but you liked the idea of finally finishing it in the early spring and then surprising your amazingly-talented dancer boyfriend with the choreo that you had learned and practiced tirelessly for the past few months, unbeknownst to him. 

 To keep the class a secret from Hyunjin, you had lied and told him that you were going to the local gym and lifting weights. And it wasn’t a complete lie, because technically, you were at the gym. You just weren’t lifting any weights. 

 Nevertheless, Hyunjin had been hesitant about the idea. Especially since you would be coming and going so late at night. At first, he had protested against it because of how many creeps could be hanging around the gym that late at night. He didn’t want you willingly putting yourself in any danger from being out so late alone. But, after much negotiation and pleading on your part, you had managed to convince him to be okay with it. And then, you were off… attending the class three times a week and absorbing the lessons like a little ocean sponge out in deep sea waters. 

 You gathered up all of the courage you still had inside of you as you shuffled across the apartment’s threshold. A couple of the lights were left on in the living room, and dim classical music was filtering out through the nearby room to the right of you. Hyunjin’s art studio. The two of you had chosen this specific apartment to rent out because it offered two bedrooms, and the space that he wanted to make his office had an amazing, large bay window that showcased a huge portion of Seoul's cityscape. The view in there was breathtaking and was the key inspiration for a lot of his recent art pieces. 

 A sigh of relief fled from your lips as you dropped your duffle bag down on the nearby dining room table and made to get some ice for your foot. Your entire body was sticky from your dried sweat, and you longed to hop into the shower for a nice cool-off. Just as soon as you ice your ankle. 

 Just as you were filling up a small plastic bag of ice, you heard a door open behind you. Then, in a few beats, you felt two long arms wrap around your waist from behind. If you weren’t in so much pain at that moment, you would’ve been happy to feel Hyunjin’s presence at your back. But mostly, you just felt exhausted and irritable. And these were two things that didn’t mix well together.

 “Welcome home, sweetheart,” he muttered, as he leaned down with his tall frame to pepper gentle kisses against your shoulder. “How was your workout?” 

 “Fine, I guess.” You said in a slightly-dismissive tone, as you finished filling up your baggie with ice. 

 “And why in the world are you filling up a plastic bag with ice?”

 Your heart dropped into the pit of your stomach at his question. Because in your state of discomfort and exhaustion, you hadn’t thought out the lie that you would have to tell him for why you could barely fucking walk. And you definitely couldn’t tell him to the extent that the pain was at. But there was no getting around the fact that you had hurt yourself, so better to tell a small white lie than ignore it entirely. 

 “I, uh- kinda hurt my foot when I was working out with weights tonight, but I’m okay.” You said, trying to keep your voice light and airy. 

 Immediately as the words fell from your lips, Hyunjin was turning you around. His eyes raked over your face, assessing your neutral expression before flitting down to the rest of your body. Like he’d be able to see any other injuries you hadn’t told him about if he looked hard enough. 

 “Are you sure you’re okay?” His brows were furrowed in worry, the concern blatantly shining in his dark brown eyes. His fingers brushed across your cheek, before tucking a few stray, sweaty strands of your hair behind your ear. 

 You gave him a soft smile, leaning up to ruffle his fluffy, peachy-pink hair a little bit. “Yes babe, I’m fine.” 

 “Then, you should rest and use the ice pack.” 

 You gave him a sardonic grin, “That’s what I was trying to do before you stopped my plans and started to grill me with questions.” 

 He slipped his arms from your hips and reluctantly stepped away from your frame to allow you space to continue your routine. But not before he leaned down into you with his towering form and pressed a gentle kiss against your lips. And if your foot didn’t currently hurt like a bitch, you probably would’ve melted into his embrace and let him hold and kiss you for a long time after that. Instead, you just felt like a sweaty ball of painful shit and wanted to hop into bed as soon as possible. 

 “I’ll be in my office if you need anything…” Hyunjin’s delicate voice stayed with you in the kitchen, as he trekked back to the door to his office. 

 You quickly grabbed a kitchen dish towel to use to wrap around your bag of ice. “Alright. I’m going to take a quick shower and then head to bed.” 

 “I’ll be there in a little while,” your boyfriend said, and when you looked up at him, he was giving you this sweet, pure look of devotion. But it was also mixed with a tad bit of unease. He never did like the idea of you being injured in any way. “Try to get some rest, yeah?” 

 “Sure, baby,” you flashed him a wink, “but only if you come to bed relatively early tonight.” It seemed like he was always slipping into bed late these days… curling up behind you well past three in the morning. He proclaimed that it was only because inspiration struck him the strongest late into the night, and while you weren’t one to stand between an artist and their craft, there had to be a better solution for inspiration than ruining his entire sleep schedule.

 “I'll sure try, sweetheart.” Hyunjin’s soft voice followed behind you, as you made your way to your shared bedroom. 

 At least you weren’t the only one who told lies in the relationship. 

 The next day, your foot hurt like a literal bitch all day long. The pain wasn’t too bad after you first woke up, and upon icing it for a little while, it felt somewhat better. But then you went about the apartment doing the chores that you usually did every Saturday, and the discomfort returned tenfold. 

 At one point, it was so bad that when you sat down on the living room couch for a few minutes to give it a rest, you could barely get up again. And when you untucked your sock after lunch, you noticed how your left foot was looking a little… discolored. Some parts of your ankle were grayed, and a tiny bit of swelling was present too. But you had hurt it in dance, so that was to be expected. 

 You tried to hide the agony that you were in from your boyfriend, but being the perceptive man that he was, he automatically picked up on it. After all, he had become attuned over the years to understanding when you were feeling shitty since it took you so long to admit to him how you were feeling. Throughout the day, he’d ask you if you were okay and force you to sit down for a few minutes to ice the hurting foot. 

 But it was after dinner that he finally decided to put his foot down about the whole thing. He had dragged you over to the living room couch, practically throwing you onto the plush cushions before plopping down beside you. 

 “And what gives you the right to think you can throw me around like your own personal rag doll?” You asked, playfulness dripping from your tone. You turned to him and rose a quizzical eyebrow his way as he turned on the tv and flipped through Netflix to find a movie to watch. The usual thing that you two liked to do every Saturday night; was curl up on the couch and get all cozy with each other. The movie nights either ended in one of two ways, cuddling until you both fell asleep right then and there, or making out and soon traveling into the bedroom for a long night of fun. 

 “I’m forcing you to take a break, that’s what I’m doing,” he leveled you with a serious face, a slight frown pulling his mouth downwards. 

 You folded your arms across your chest defensively, “I don’t need a break, babe. I’m fine.” 

 “Oh yeah? Well then, I guess I’ve just been imagining all of the pained faces that you’ve been making all day, or that perpetual furrow in your brow that you always get when you’re holding something in?” Hyunjin said, voice completely flat. Just then he reached out to you, wrapping a long arm around your waist and yanking you close to his side before tucking a fuzzy blanket around the two of you. 

 “I’m not furrowing my brows.” You said defensively, even though you had given up on fighting him any longer. Honestly, you were a little too tired from all of the hurt and activity of the day to care. So you snuggled deeper against him, slinging your arms around his waist and breathing in his scent of fresh linen and sweet roses. “And besides, the apartment needed cleaning. A bad foot wasn’t going to stop me from completing my mission.” You had taken some pain medication soon after lunch, but since it was late into the night, it had worn off. You’d have to take some before you went to bed, but it didn’t seem to help that much, since you had still been in pain even after taking it in the middle of the day.

 “Just shut up and relax, will ya?” Your boyfriend all but grumbled, as he finally selected some random thriller to watch. You hid your smile behind your blanket as you felt him lean down and press a few kisses atop the crown of your head. “Just want you to feel better, my love…” 

 You turned your head up on his shoulder so that you were staring right into his expressive dark-brown eyes. “And I already do feel better just with your kisses alone.” A smirk spread across your mouth, as you leaned into him and your mouths met again in a soft kiss. 

 Your boyfriend motioned with his head to the flashing tv screen in front of the two of you, “Now, let’s focus on the movie so that you can get your mind off of the discomfort.” 

 A few giggles escaped from deep inside of you at his serious tone. He truly did care a lot about you and your well-being. And so that’s why you didn’t want to tell him how bad the pain was. Because you knew that as soon as you told him, he’d get himself all worked up into a tizzy and obsess over your health until you were back to one-hundred-and-twenty percent. Would practically nurse you back to health, ignoring all of his other duties at the company until he could confirm with his own two eyes that his girlfriend was feeling much better than before. 

 So you stayed silent, refraining from revealing to him how much agony you truly were in from your foot alone. You turned your attention to the movie in front of you. 

 And the feel of his long, muscular arms wrapped around your waist and squeezing slightly, the comforting sense of his warm body just beside yours, did wonders to the pain. It worked better than any of the medicine in the entire world, and you soon found yourself completely ignoring and forgetting the ache that was shooting through your foot and up into your veins and instead was basking in the feel and smell of your very loving boyfriend. 

 “Sweetheart, do you want to stop and take a rest for a minute?” Hyunjin asked you in a gentle voice the next day. What with it being Sunday and since the two of you were still off from work, you had decided to spend the day out on the town - shopping around. 

 You two had already eaten a sweet breakfast of pastries and coffee at a local cafe and were currently walking the streets of Hongdae, in search of a matching set of hoodies that fit both of your styles perfectly. So far, you had had no luck at the boutiques that you had already searched. The fuzzy hoodies were either too frilly or too plain...

 You shook your head vehemently, “No, I’m fine… don’t worry about me.” But you knew you telling him that would only make him worry even more. Since your foot only hurt even worse when you woke up early that morning. The pain throbbed up your leg now, and it felt like somehow was grasping harshly at your left ankle bone every time you walked on it, rattling the thing bitterly. 

 You were practically limping pathetically at your boyfriend's side, desperate hands clutching at his arm to stop you from completely toppling over into a pile of weak limbs right there. Because that’s what you were feeling at that exact moment; weak. 

 Hyunjin ran a frustrated hand through his peachy-pink locks, an exasperated sigh flooding from his lips, “I knew I shouldn’t have agreed to us going out today-” He started to grumble beside you. 

 Just then, the two of you stepped over a particular area of sidewalk that was somewhat cracked in the middle. And of course, your left shoe - your bad foot - just had to get caught in the tiny space there. Immediately, your body hurled to the ground as you grasped for your boyfriend. Thankfully, he caught you just in time before you hit the asphalt, pulling you up onto your feet again. 

 And when you stood straight once more, the agony only intensified even more so. Feeling so overwhelmed by it, and so, so weary with sudden despair, a tiny cry escaped past your lips as your legs gave out from underneath you. Toppling onto the ground in a heap of exhaustion, the tears were freely flowing down your cheeks. 

 Hyunjin was already crouching at your side, one arm wrapped around your waist. “Darling, what’s wrong-” He began, the worry seeping from his tone. 

 “It’s hurts, Hyunjin… like, a lot…” You managed to get out in between your sobs. Your vision was blurry from your tears, cheeks warm to the touch at the embarrassment of feeling others' eyes on you as they passed by on the street. 

 But not another word needed to be spoken, as you were soon being lifted into your boyfriend’s arms. And a moment later, he was gently placing you down on a nearby bench. 

 He was then crouching in front of your feet, gently grasping at your left foot and holding it out to him slowly. “Can I take a look at it, sweetheart?” He asked you with all of the tenderness in the world. The look in his eyes then- one of pure apprehension and heartache did something funny to your heart and only made you cry even harder. You nodded your head in silent approval. 

 Heart beating wildly inside your chest, you waited, and watched in bated since, as your boyfriend gingerly slipped off your thin sneaker. With thin, nimble fingers, he slid your baby-blue sock down and off of your foot. 

 And the moment he saw what lay underneath, he gasped audibly. Your foot was steadily turning purple and blue and was swollen all around the ankle. Eyes completely focused on your foot, Hyunjin turned your foot from either side, inspecting it diligently. 

 Finally, after what felt like an eternity of looking at it, he stared up at you with wide eyes. The heartbreaking look in them told you all you needed to know- the way that his lips slightly fell open in his surprise, jaw clenching in anger. “B-Baby, has it looked like this since you got home from the gym on Friday?” His fingers gently swept over the bone that was slightly protruding out to the side near your ankle. 

 The tears had begun to slow down, leaving wet trails down either of your heated cheeks. Sniffling, you meekly nodded your head yes in answer. “Why? Is it that bad?” 

 A deep crease formed between his dark brows, and his blush-pink hair blew in the cool February breeze that suddenly swept across the streets at that moment. “Sweetheart, this looks really- really bad,” his eyes flitted down to your foot again, which he was still holding in one of his palms. “I’ve seen a lot of injuries, and I know the signs… honey, I think you’ve sprained it.” 

 Your heart plummeted into the pit of your stomach. “W-What? But… how could that be? It’s not like I-” Your voice took on an incredulous tone, but before you could say anything else, your boyfriend was moving your foot again, turning it slightly so that he could slip your sock back on. You hissed in discomfort, biting down hard on your bottom lip to quell the moan that wanted to bubble up and out of you just then. The pain was unbearable. 

 Your boyfriend stood up from the ground, fitting two hands around your waist and helping you rise from the bench. He slipped an arm around your hips, securing you to his side as you slowly began to shuffle down the street, going backward from the way you had just come from. “C’mon, we gotta get you to the hospital.” He said, leading you two away from the shops that you had been at for the last few hours. 

 “Hospital? No- that’s not necessary, I just need to… rest at home, that’s all…” Your voice trailed off as another wave of pain throbbed through your tender foot. 

 Hyunjin leveled you with a glare. “It’s either you come with me willingly, or I carry you in my arms bridal style. Either way, you’re fucking going to the hospital.” The way he said the last of his words in that deathly-low tone sent a chill down your spine. Because you knew it all too well since he’d only use it on you when you were being particularly stubborn. And almost always, it was during a time when you weren’t taking any regard for your health, and Hyunjin had to force you to do the things necessary to practically stay alive. 

 “O-Okay…” You whispered. You struggled along beside him, fingers holding on tight to his thick brown winter jacket. “Just… don’t let go?” You stared up at him with big eyes, lip quivering a little bit from the pain of having to walk and put pressure on your bruised foot. 

 “Never, sweetheart.” He brought you closer to him then, practically wrapping both arms around your waist and helping you along the sidewalk as you slowly made your way back to his car. 

 “Well, you have a sprained ankle,” the nurse told you a few hours later. She was a rather short, petite-looking woman, with long, black hair swept up into a tight braid at the back of her head. “You’ll need to diligently rest for the next… four to six weeks. The doctor suggested using an ice pack for twenty minutes a few times a day, to help with the swelling.” 

 After you and Hyunjin had left Hongdae, it was only a matter of time before he found the nearest hospital and checked you into the Emergency Room there. After waiting for a little over an hour, you were finally called back into one of the exam rooms. It merely took the nurse and doctor one look at your ankle to confirm that it was sprained. After the doctor’s assessment, the nurse filed back into the room to hand you some paperwork to fill out. 

 During the entire visit, Hyunjin was sitting beside your hospital bed in a small chair, clutching onto your hand as you awaited the news of your diagnosis. He let out a sigh of relief at the news of it only being a sprain since he had been worrying that it was broken instead. 

 “And don’t walk on it,” the nurse continued, as she handed you a bottle of prescribed high-dosage pain medications. “I understand that it will be difficult to assimilate to a less active lifestyle for some time, but please remember that if you walk on it, doing so can put you at risk for horrible complications in the future and hinder you from achieving a full recovery.” 

 “I understand, thank you so much,” you said, giving her a soft smile as you fit the bottle of pain meds into your nearby purse. Your boyfriend was still clutching onto your hand, fingers squeezing a little too tightly as you positioned yourself back on the bed. 

 "I’ll give you two a few minutes, and then come back to assist you in checking out at the front desk.” The nurse returned your smile and bowed slightly at you and Hyunjin before making her way out of the room, quietly shutting the door behind her. 

 Immediately, your boyfriend turned to you with a deep frown. “And you’ve been walking on a sprained ankle for the past… three days.” He shook his head in disapproval, running a frantic hand through your hair. “Honestly, Y/N, I don’t understand why you do this to yourself- why you do it to me…” 

 Training your focus down at your lap, your fingers absently played with a loose strand from your thick winter sweater. “It’s not like I mean to not tell you stuff. It just… happens.” 

 “And you said you got this from lifting weights at the gym?” 

 His question forced your head to shoot up without you even thinking about it, eyes locking with his as he sat just beside you in his tiny vinyl chair. “Y-Yeah… I must’ve used the barbell wrong or something.” You laughed a little anxiously, heart beating painfully against your ribcage. 

 Because he couldn’t find out. It was downright embarrassing to think about him knowing you had been taking dance classes. But you also wanted to keep it a surprise for him, when you eventually performed your routine for him - not like that would happen anytime soon though, since you would be on bed rest for the foreseeable future. 

 Hyunjin brought his hand away from yours then, folding his arms across his chest stubbornly, crossing his legs together and giving you a knowing look. “I call bullshit. You don’t get a strained ankle from lifting a few pounds.” 

 “And how do you know that, mister?” 

 “Because I’ve seen the guys get injured from lifting before, but it never has to do with their ankles.” 

 “Well, maybe I’m the exception.” 

 “Cut the crap, sweetheart,” his voice came out a little cold just then, eyes raking over your form, studying your face to gauge your emotions at that moment. “Tell me what happened on Friday night.” 

 The embarrassment overtook you again, and you ripped your eyes from his. Focusing once more on your hands, you twisted the end of your sweater around your fingers. There wasn’t any use in keeping the ruse up any longer. It’s not like you’d be dancing the routine any time soon. So, you finally gave in and confessed to your boyfriend in a quiet mumble. 

 He leaned forward, tilting his body close to yours so that he could hear you better. “I didn’t hear that, love. Speak up.” 

 Clenching your fists in sudden annoyance, you stared at him, already feeling the crimson pooling in your cheeks. “I said- I was taking a dance class, okay?! And I fell and hurt my ankle- the instructor said it would be fine, but obviously, she isn’t a doctor…” 

 Silence filled the entire room after that, and it was charged with equal amounts of confusion and hurt. “Why in the world are you taking a dance class?” 

 “Because- I want to be good at dancing…” You exclaimed, staring into Hyunjin's eyes with what you hoped was a fierce expression. “I fucking suck at it- and- and you’re just so amazing, and I… I wanted to surprise you with a routine that I had learned all on my own. But then, I hurt myself, so that’s never gonna happen now.” 

 “Don’t say that.” 

 “Say what?” You canted your head to the side, watching as the emotions erupted across your boyfriend's face. First, it was anger, that you had kept such a secret from him for so long, then it was sadness, that you had felt the need to prove yourself in any way to him. 

 “Say that you suck at dancing,” he began, as he moved forward and clasped either of your hands in his. He brought them close to his mouth, lips hovering near your skin and pressing a few soft kisses to your knuckles. “You’re great at it, baby, don’t doubt yourself. And I was never amazing right off the bat. It took me a long time and lots of hard work to get where I am today.”

 “Yeah, but some people are just naturally born with it, and I don’t think I am. So… that’s why I was trying to improve.” You shrugged slowly, a zap of energy coursing through your veins each time Hyunjin pressed a fervent kiss against your hands. 

 “Well, I always think that improvement is good. But, there has to be a balance. You can’t simply ignore your health just because you want to get better at something.” Your boyfriend said in a calm voice, the warmth of it vibrating on your flesh and softening some hard part inside of you. “And besides, even if you weren’t born with the gift of dance - which I don’t believe to be true - there are still other gifts that you have that are unique and wonderful to you, baby. You shouldn’t compare yourself to me, or anyone else, for that matter.” 

 You gave him a frown, eyes locked on his mouth that kept nearing your knuckles and pressing kisses there. “I know, but… it’s just hard sometimes, you know? To be dating such a… talented man.” 

 A tiny sound of pain - of heartbreak - fled from Hyunjin’s mouth then, and suddenly, he was pulling you towards him. Fitting his arms around your waist, he squeezed on tight. In an instant, you melted into the touch, burrowing yourself into the crook of his neck and inhaling his calming, sweet scent. 

 “I’m so sorry that you’ve felt like this, sweetheart. I had no idea.” He mumbled close to your ear, imprinting a soft kiss against the exposed skin there. “How can I make it up to you, darling? How can I change things, so that you don’t think so poorly of yourself anymore?” 

 You positioned yourself away from him a tiny bit, offering him a light smile, “Babe, you don’t have to do anything for me. My low self-esteem when it comes to dancing isn’t your fault, so don’t worry about it.” 

 He leaned in, kissing your lips gently. “Yes, but I don’t like the thought of you feeling so down about your abilities…” his voice trailed off into silence, as he contemplated what he could do for you. “I know- I’m going to nurse you back to health, and when your ankle is completely healed, I’ll help you continue learning that dance routine from your class. How does that sound, love?” 

 You kissed him back, hot breaths mingling slightly in the passion of the moment. “I’d like that very much, but… don’t you have your schedules?” 

 Hyunjin waved a nonchalant hand in the air like he didn’t have so many people expecting high standards from him every single day. “I can still help you and do my job, baby- it isn’t rocket science.” 

 You contemplated his idea over in your head. You hadn’t liked him trying to teach you different dances in the past, but perhaps that was because of your issues and not because of his teaching. And now that your struggles with the thing were out in the open, you got the feeling that your boyfriend would be extra careful when teaching you - treat you extra gently when explaining certain moves. 

 “Okay, I like the idea,” you decided, nodding your head slowly in approval. A wide smile cracked across your lips as you stared at his face that was alight with happiness and contentment, “When do we start?” 

 “How does eight weeks from now sound? To give your ankle plenty of time to heal.” 

 Gently carding a few fingers through his light, peachy-pink silky locks, you bent into him, the smile still plastered onto your face as you gave his mouth another kiss which felt like the hundredth one in the last hour. “Sounds perfect.” You said, and soon he was smirking against your lips, before tightening his grip around your hips, yanking you ever closer to his form, and smashing his mouth against yours in a fiery, loving kiss. 

 Fin. 

© ʙʟᴏssᴏᴍᴡʀɪᴛᴇsᴛʜɪɴɢs ⤐ ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛs ʀᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ

𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝔻𝕖𝕧𝕚𝕝'𝕤 ℝ𝕠𝕤𝕖

🌹🥀 (Second fanfic write)

[Snippets of story/series]

WARNING: Sexual content (fingering, unprotected sex, praise/degrading). Slight hate reader has towards Hyunjin but eventual love.

Genre: Supernatural/ Smut/angst/fluff (a little bit)

Characters: (Hyunjin!Devil x Fem!Y/N Medium) | Jisung!witch best friend | Felix!Psychic | Christopher/Chris!Medium

Side note: Some things from here may be changed in original plot. However, I plan to keep majority of it (Not satisfied with my work).

(Don't steal my work! All credits and work are mine. ♡)

"Y/N... Y/N wake up! Y/N!!"...Your eyes shoot open, your body in a cold sweat, and your hair disarray. The memory from your dream still vividly bright as you look around your empty, dark bedroom.

You heave out a much needed sigh as you rub your eyes, clearing the blurriness from your vision.....

ㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡ

Jisung had gifted you a rose, telling you to be cautious, and to only use to when attempting to contact spirits. The deed was already risky enough being a medium nonetheless, you and Chris came up with a "great" idea to summon something other than a spirit..

ㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡ

Ever since that night of summoning the demon whom called himself Hyunjin, you've been having night terrors. Weeks eventually turning into a month, of these frequent occurrences, hell- you promised yourself you wouldn't touch that damn book again after what happened- but... you wanted this to stop. Why did he keep appearing in your dreams, what did he want from you?!

ㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡ

Your back pressed against the bed as he towers over you, pinning you in place. Everything in your body tells you to get away, run away, yet you couldn't. Because he was pinning you, but even if he wasn't, you wouldn't dare leave...

His sharp Devilish eyes trail down your body, his smug disgusting smirk looking down at you. "What, babe? You were all bark and bite a minute ago." He cooed, it made you wanna snap back, yet the sound of his honey voice made you melt...

Hey loves, part I to "The Devil's Rose" may come out later than I intend it too, I have some issues going on. But!- 👀 I do have a quick summary of the story.

Felix, Chris, and Y/N make a visit to an old friend of theirs, Jisung, after a complicated interaction with spirits at an inn. Though it was unfortunate, Y/N did learn from Jisung that she has flaws in her medium abilities.

❗️❗️(Note: From the snippets post I made, some things have changed in the plot, but the overall storyline remains the same.) ❗️❗️

─ .✦ 𝐈'𝐦 𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐲 ― 𝐇𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐇𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐣𝐢𝐧 📲

ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ

𝙋𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜: idol!hyunjin x reader

𝙂𝙚𝙣𝙧𝙚: angst, hurt/no comfort

𝙎𝙎: 5

𝙏𝙒/𝘾𝙒: hurt/no comfort, no happy ending, Hyunjin is being mean but reader is standing up for themselves

⤷ 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘯𝘦𝘨𝘭𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘏𝘺𝘶𝘯𝘫𝘪𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘪𝘵.

⋮ 𝗠𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁

Ⓒ︎ 𝗶𝘁𝘀𝗮𝘀𝗶𝗹𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿. 𝘈𝘭𝘭 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘦𝘥. 𝗗𝗼 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘰𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘺 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵.

ᯓ★ 𝐂𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭 ― 𝐇𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐇𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐣𝐢𝐧

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖

𝙋𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜: idol!Hyunjin x fem!reader

𝙒𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩: 3,2k (got a little carried away lol) — 𝟮𝟮 𝙢𝙞𝙣 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙

𝙂𝙚𝙣𝙧𝙚: angst, comfort

𝙏𝙒/𝘾𝙒: hurt/comfort, reader's insecure and hyunjin is being oblivious most of the time

𝘼/𝙉: This is also a request. I normally don't really like reading angst but writing it is so much fun lol. Hope you'll enjoy this one!

⤷ 𝘏𝘺𝘶𝘯𝘫𝘪𝘯 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘺.

⋮ 𝗠𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖

You were heading to the studio with lunch for Hyunjin and the others. He didn’t reply to your texts all morning so you thought you’d surprise him and the others with lunch. You know how they can be when they are busy, so they probably appreciate it if you bring them something to eat.

You entered the building and down the hall to the studio they’d probably be at. Stopping in front of the door, you see it was not fully closed. Raising your hand to knock before entering, your hand comes to a halt when you hear your boyfriend’s voice.

You didn’t mean to eavesdrop, really. It was just that his voice was a little louder than usual, and you happened to stop by at the wrong time.

“Man, it’s so annoying. My phone keeps blowing up and she won’t leave me alone,” you could hear him let out a frustrating groan. “Sometimes she’s just… too clingy, you know? As if she can’t do anything by herself. ‘S driving me crazy.”

Murmurs followed your boyfriend's confession, but your heart was pounding so loud to hear their responses. Hyunjin said it so casually, but his words hit you like a punch to the gut.

Clingy? He thought you were being too clingy?

You thought you were just showing how much you cared for him — it hadn’t felt like too much. But now it felt like you overstayed your welcome like everything you did and every touch had been one too many.

Fighting back the sudden tightness in your chest, you swallowed hard. You stood by the door for a minute gathering your thoughts, before silently turning around to walk away. Your heart now aching with a newfound distance you weren’t sure how to close.

Apparently, your lingering by the door hadn’t gone unnoticed by one of the members. Felix saw something from the corner of his eye and before he could say something, he saw you turn around and walk away from the studio.

He frowned at the words of his friend and the thought of you possibly overhearing him. “She just cares about you,” Felix spoke up before getting out his phone to text you. He didn’t get a response from the older boy, at least not a verbal one.

You arrived back home when you heard your phone going off. Could it be Hyunjin? Did he text you a lie about how he was just busy and didn’t see your texts coming through?

You hated this. You hated this feeling of being lied to. If he thought it was too much, he should have just said so instead of going to his members behind your back.

Sure, he can vent to his friends. It’s not like you don’t do this with your girlfriends. But complaining about your partner and being actually hurtful? You wouldn’t do that.

You set down the bags that contained the lunch boxes before getting your phone out of your purse. It was Felix, asking if you just stopped by. He had seen you turn around and walk away instead of coming in.

You quickly typed a reply, saying you did want to stop by but forgot something at home. It wasn’t really a lie that he would believe, but at this point, you didn’t want to talk about it.

Your heart felt heavy and when you finally sat down on your couch, you felt the pressure behind your eyes building up.

Maybe you were overreacting? No, this was a valid reaction to something that felt so hurtful. This started a spiral of overthinking.

Were you really that clingy? And was it so bad that he might consider breaking up with you? He knew your last boyfriend said one of the reasons he broke up with you was because you were so overbearing towards him. But it was just because you love to show people you care about them.

In the beginning, Hyunjin assured you multiple times that you weren’t overbearing. He said he loved it when all your attention was on him and that you made him feel so loved and special with every little thing you did for him.

So what has changed?

You had hoped your afternoon would be filled with spending some time with your boyfriend, his friends and good food. Instead, it was filled with overthinking and tears.

In the days that followed you tried to act as if nothing was wrong. You tried to continue on, but his words echoed in your head and it made it impossible for you to be as relaxed as before.

Hyunjin could feel you were pulling back slowly, creating distance between the two of you.

The thing that stood out the most was how your frequent texting went from constant texting him things to a few texts a day to almost radio silence during the day.

Normally, you’d always ask him how his day was going, if he needed something to eat, if you could stop by to see what they were working on and even random things you’ve seen during the day that reminded you of him.

Now it felt like you only texted him out of necessity and not because you wanted to talk to your boyfriend.

The week continued, and it seems like the rift between you and Hyunjin has grown even wider. The tension kept knotting in your stomach and your hands kept fidgeting when you were alone together.

You were asleep, or pretended to be, when Hyunjin left for work and the dinners you had together were being eaten in an uncomfortable silence.

You cancelled a date night with the excuse of not feeling great and went straight to the bedroom. You didn’t come out for the rest of the night, leaving Hyunjin alone with his thoughts.

He felt like you were on edge, but he couldn’t figure out why or what had happened for you to be acting this way towards him. The sudden coldness and distance.

He had to admit, he missed your blabbing during dinner, or when you’re watching a movie and you tell him random fun facts about it. He just could not dwell long on your behaviour, because work still demanded a lot of his time and energy.

This resulted in the members deciding to go out to dinner together when they finished the last remaining details for the comeback. Felix suggested asking you along too; he got the feeling from his friend that something was going on between you.

Hyunjin hasn't talked much about you and what you guys have been up to lately, but he hasn't seen you in the studio during lunch lately either. You would normally come to surprise your boyfriend and the members while they were working hard on their comeback.

This also raised suspicions that you might have overheard Hyunjin's harsh words.

That brings you to here right now, at a table in a fancy restaurant, sitting next to Felix and Hyunjin. Your hands started fidgeting again, a habit you picked up the past few days.

Hyunjin sitting next to you, oblivious to your fidgeting, laughing and chatting with his friends - like hadn’t shattered your confidence with one careless comment.

“Hey, are you alright?” Felix’s voice was soft as he leaned closer, his concern clear. You gave him a small, forced smile.

“Yeah, just tired,” you mumbled. The lie felt heavy, but the ache in your chest felt even heavier.

Hyunjin’s laughter pulled your attention back to him. He looked so carefree and completely unaware of the hurt he’d caused. That’s what stung the most—how easy it was for him to say something that lingered with you, while he didn’t seem bothered at all.

Did he really not notice? Or does he not care enough to do something about it. Then again, you didn’t know if you should bring it up to him.

Felix spoke up again, “I haven’t seen you at our studio during lunchtime lately. What’s up with that?”

His attention was fully on you, trying to figure out what was going on in that head of yours. The question seems to caught you off guard. He observed you telling a forced lie to him about your absence. Suspicion confirmed.

Your eyes strayed quickly to Hyunjin but it seemed you didn't want to focus your attention on your boyfriend. His attention went to your hands, which were still fidgeting. He knew now that you indeed heard your boyfriend tell his members that he thought you were clingy and it was eating away at you.

This needs to be resolved quickly, he thought, but he didn’t want to intervene right now. It seems like you need a friend in this moment and he wanted to help you not have the troubling thoughts in your head for a moment.

He switched up the conversation with a different question to ease your mind, and you seemed to be eager to change the topic.

And this did work for a while, you were having good food and good conversations with the rest of the group. Except for Hyunijn, and it didn’t go unnoticed by him.

After the dinner ended, and everyone went their separate ways home, you fell back into an uncomfortable silence again. The car ride home seemed to last hours when it was in fact only a 20-minute drive.

Hyunjin tried to place his hand on your leg, but you just slightly turned your body the other way and faced the window the entire ride home.

When you stepped foot into your apartment, you immediately headed to your bedroom to change into your pyjamas. Hyunjin still was a little confused and watched you disappear into the bedroom.

Deciding to confront you about the distance he felt, he went after you. You were already in the bathroom, removing your make-up.

“Hey,” Hyunjin’s voice was cautious, a little hesitant. “Is something wrong?”

You didn’t answer him straight away. Your eyes found his and you looked at him through the mirror, before settling back to your own reflection to continue removing your make-up.

Should you admit that you’d heard everything? The hurt twisted inside you, mingling with the fear of pushing him away even more.

Finally, you turned to face him, your voice barely audible. “Do you really think I’m clingy?”

The question clearly caught him off guard, he just stood there and blinked at you. It seemed like he wanted to say something, but the words didn’t leave his lips.

The silence followed by your question was suffocating and it made you second — no, triple—guess all the thoughts and emotions you’ve felt for the past days. The reaction he gave you made your mind wonder if you might be overreacting to five simple words.

‘Sometimes she’s just too clingy’.

You felt so vulnerable, but you couldn’t hide your unspoken thoughts anymore. Your eyes stayed focused on Hyunjin. He swallowed thickly before parting his lips to speak. “You’ve heard?”

He had no idea you were at the studio, or near the studio when he was venting to his members.

A sad and tired sigh left your lips and you turned your attention back to your reflection, continuing your skincare. It felt weird, acting as if it was just a normal question, meanwhile the words chipped away at your confidence.

“It’s just... sometimes...” His voice finally broke the tension, but it didn’t sound as sure as you’d hoped. Running a hand through his hair, frustration flickering across his features.

You could see him trying to find the right words, but every second he hesitated only making your chest tighten more.

“What? Sometimes what?” you pressed on. “I’m sometimes too much? Am I too close all the time? Overbearing? I can’t do anything by myself?” Though your voice was quieter now, he could hear the hurt and uncertainty bleeding through.

He winced slightly at your words and pressed his lips together. He let out another sigh, “No, it’s not like that. I- I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just…” He trailed off, trying to find the right words.

You didn’t respond to his words, just waiting for an explanation as to why he said you were ‘too clingy’ and ‘couldn’t do anything by yourself’. But the explanation never seemed to come, the words stuck in his throat.

Though, you weren’t sure what you wanted to hear. His silence felt louder than any explanation he could have given.

“I was venting, and I just… I didn’t know you heard that... I’m sorry.” Frustration was seeping into his features. “It doesn’t mean I don’t care about you or- or what you do!” His voice softened and his eyes searched yours.

He didn’t know whether to take a step towards you and reach out or keep his distance, though the latter option is something you already succeeded in the past few days.

It didn’t feel good enough for you. The words fell flat between you, without meaning. You felt your chest tighten again and the suffocating feeling in your throat came back. The burning sensation of fresh tears behind your eyes was building up, ready to be released down your cheeks.

Turning away from him and nodded, “I get it, Hyunjin.” The man winced at the sound of your voice and hearing his name coming from your lips. “It’s fine. My ex said the same things, I’m used to it by now.”

It wasn’t fine. You weren’t used to it, not by a long shot. But you didn’t know if you could handle hearing more, or even if you wanted to.

Pushing past him, you went back into your bedroom. Turning on the lamp on your bedside table, you pulled back the covers and got into bed. Hyunjin lingered in the bathroom, trying to gather his thoughts on how he could explain to you he didn’t mean it like that.

He didn’t mean to hurt you, it was just in the heat of the moment and being stressed out because of work didn’t help either. Not that it should be an excuse.

You reminded him of the words your ex had said to you tugging at his heartstrings. That hurt. He knew it was a bad and rough break-up for you.

Even though it was so significantly small for him, something said in passing when he was stressed, holds an entirely different meaning and feeling for you.

You lay in bed staring at the window, silently letting the salty tears run down your face, and onto your pillowcase. From your position in bed, you reached out to turn off your light. The darkness engulfed you.

Hyunjin came into the bedroom after a minute. You felt the bed dip behind you, and he softly reached out to you. He rested his hand on your shoulder, trying to be comforting to you.

He could hear your breathing, uneven and heavy. Without seeing your face, he knew tears were rolling down.

The moonlight is peeking through the see-through curtains in front of the window., and it lit up your face. Right now, that was the only light in the room. You stayed quiet, not trusting your voice to say anything to your boyfriend.

“It’s not fine,” he murmured, almost like he was talking more to himself than to you. “I didn’t mean to make you feel like that.” When he didn’t hear anything from you, he continued.

“I just…” He exhaled slowly, clearly struggling. “I didn’t know how to explain it. Sometimes, when I’m stressed or overwhelmed, I don’t know how to handle things. But it’s not about you. It’s never about you.”

His words hovered between you. The sting of what you’d overheard lingered, reminding you of how easy it was for him to call you clingy in front of the others.

You wondered if he even realized how much that had hurt, or if he was just trying to smooth things over now that he knew you’d overheard.

“Then why say it at all?” you whispered, barely able to keep your voice steady. “If it wasn’t about me, why say it like that? Why make me feel like… like I’m too much?”

Hyunjin looked pained, his eyes flickering with regret as he gently pulled you to him in the dark. “You’re not too much. You never are.” At his words, you turned to face him.

Carefully he reaches for your hair to brush the loose strands from your face. “I know it's not an excuse to say I was stressed, but I really didn't mean it. The past few days I felt the distance between us and it ate away at me. I didn't know what was going on and what I had done to make you distance yourself from me.”

Your silence urges him to continue, “I didn't know how to bring this up, but I understand why you've been so distant these past few days. I was just venting to my friends without realizing this could hurt you. Especially after your break-up with your ex, I'm so sorry...”

His fingertips traced the side of your face before wiping away the tears that ran free. You swallowed hard, you wanted to believe him. You really did, because it is normal for people to vent about their feelings, good and bad.

But another part, the part that heard him so casually say you were clingy, kept you guarded.

Your hand reached out for his that was still lightly tracing your face, “I don’t want to feel like I’m smothering you, Hyunjin. I just… I don’t know what to do now.”

“You know, I missed your random texts. The one you always send if you see something that reminds you of me. And when you ask me how my day is going. The boys also have been asking about you, y’know.”

The sincerity in his voice made you look up at him. “They miss you at lunch too, just like I do.” For the first time since this conversation started, you saw the cracks in his usual confidence.

“It really hurt, the way you said it so casually too. And it felt like a punch in the gut after you know what my ex said to me. But it is my insecurity, not yours. I just need to figure out how to deal with it.”

He gently shook his head. “If you feel hurt about what I said, that is completely valid. I know it is an insecurity of yours, and I shouldn’t have been so casual about it.”

You let out a sigh and initiated intertwining your fingers with his. The small act brought a soft smile to his face. Watching your features, being lit up by the moonlight, he felt his racing heartbeat calm down.

“We’ll figure it out together baby. If I feel like I don’t need a distraction during work, I’ll put on my do-not-disturb mode on my phone, okay?” His words made you nod in agreement.

“And I will try to communicate my feelings more, especially when it comes to something like this. I realize now that I just have to talk about this when it bothers me.”

In response to your words, he nodded. “I love you, baby, so much.” Before you could respond he drew you closer, his lips brushing yours in a lingering kiss. “I love you too Jinnie.” You tugged him closer, kissing him with tender, quiet softness. You finally felt the tightness in your chest melt away.

He wanted to do better for you. His hand in yours felt like a promise—one he wasn’t going to let slip away.

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖

Ⓒ︎ 𝗶𝘁𝘀𝗮𝘀𝗶𝗹𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿. 𝘈𝘭𝘭 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘦𝘥. 𝗗𝗼 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘰𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘺 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵.