How Long Part 4 - Tumblr Posts

How Long? - PT 4

It's been a long time but part 4 is done.

Warning! Ran's losing it, choking, mentions of death, threating and abusive behavior, both sides are losing their resolve and composure, manipulative, gaslighting - this one was a little tough to write.

The Poisoned Woman

You swallowed hard and held your robe tighter. “Mikey I don’t feel right about this…” The uncertainty in your voice made him sigh and pinch the bridge of his nose. “You fucked him, right?” His tone was low and it made the hair on the back of your neck standup. The guilt was eating away at you, the emotions were real, the reaction was real, the tears were real, but the 'i love you' wasn't…right? 

“Y-Yeah but he wants me to come back to Tokyo.” You say in a whisper. “I really don't-” You began but Mikey cut you off with an order. “Do it.” Were his last words before he ended the call. A knot started forming in your throat, to see them again after three years and to come back as if nothing happened? You were more afraid to see Rindou than anyone else, you were almost certain he hated you for how you wrecked his brother and faked your death. Though he has no right to judge you, he covered his brother's ass through his infidelity. The only person who held Ran responsible for his actions was Mikey. 

Stepping back into the kitchen you wiped the tears that were on the verge of spilling, trying your best to just keep calm. Setting your phone on the counter, you stared off into space - playing his words over and over again. Deception was never your strong suit, you regretted saying you wanted revenge - you should have just disappeared from everyone's life. Sitting in silence for what felt like hours, the clock on the wall ticked louder and louder - each tick echoed in your ear and made your fingers twitch. Thinking about Mikey’s order had your stomach in turmoil. 

Tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tick-tick… 

Your thoughts were interrupted when you heard Ran shift on the bed - he was getting up to check on you. Quickly you darted to the fridge and pretended to rummage through it. Long slender arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you in and Ran buried his face in your neck - breathing in your scent as if it was his lifeline. “Can’t decide on what to eat, my love?” There it was, the pang in your chest from hearing that title roll off his tongue. The shakiness in your breathing made him pause, he felt your body tense up - almost as if you were scared. “Ran, I can’t go back to Tokyo…” He began to riddle your skin with kisses, speaking between each kiss and roaming his arms along your waist. “Come with me, we can spend a few weeks at home - I want to keep showing you how much I missed you. And you’ll get to see everyone again - they missed you too.” Would they act like nothing happened? Would they treat you differently? How could you trust them when they lied to you and covered up Ran’s fuck up? 

Aside from the admins and executives, you were also concerned about seeing Mikey. You parted ways not long after that night, there was so much more that you weren't ready for. “Ran, I'm not going back.” You said in a more serious tone. Strong arms spun you around to face him, his eyes were glossy and had tears brimming on his lash line. “Why not?” You hear the heartbreak in his voice. “This was a mistake, Ran. I shouldn’t have…” Your words cut him deep, he spent the night making love to you and making you moan his name over and over again, how could you deny him now? This was for the best, you couldn't go through with Mikey's plan - as much as you resented Ran for what he did to you, your heart wouldn't allow you to hurt him. You weren’t like him, you weren’t like Mikey - you just wanted to fade away. “No…” Ran shook his head and pulled you in to feel his heartbeat. It was pounding and you thought his chest was going to burst. “I can't let you go again.” He was almost pleading, it was tearing you apart and you were faltering. The one thing Mikey was preparing you for, Don't… You think to yourself as you try to push him away. As much as you wanted to tell him the truth, you couldn't, Ran already sees Mikey in a different light. If you were to tell him what happened between you two - you were sure he'd lose his shit. 

“Is there someone else?” Ran hit the nail on the head. Your eyes widened a bit, almost giving away your reaction. Just as you were about to speak, your phone rang. He didn’t let you go, he kept you rooted in place - “Do you love someone else?” His question made the tears begin to well in your eyes, he has no right to ask you or judge you. “Please…Ran, I'm begging you…don't make me go back there.” The shakiness in your voice made him cup your face with both hands. “What are you afraid of, hmm? No one will dare to lay a finger on you.” No, you were sure that the other executives would grill you for answers. That, and you were sure Mikey would do everything he could to torture Ran. As much as Mikey was a King to Bonten, he was also devoted to you. Though he knew Ran would forever hold a place in your heart, he refused to let you fall. 

The phone kept ringing and ringing, Ran was getting fed up with it. He snatched the phone from the counter and read the caller ID, it was a male's name and his eyes darted towards you - without hesitation he answered your phone. “Ran, what the hell are you doing?” You say as you try to take your phone back. Unfortunately, that's the one thing that Ran always had an advantage of, his fucking height. “Who is this?” Ran's tone was threatening and he was already preparing to remove the obstacle in his way. “Hello? Who is this? Where is (Y/N)?” The other person responded with a worried tone. You recognized the voice, it was your landlord from the Cafe. He was calling to check on you as the cafe was closed without notice and he was worried something happened. Kicking Ran behind his knee made him yell and kneel, you snatched your phone away from him quickly. “Hello? …sorry about that. Hmm, yes I'm ok.” You tried to sound as apologetic as possible so that your landlord didn't come rushing to your home. Between some back and forth, you were able to calm the older man down, he treated you like a daughter and worried for you like a father. “Pops, actually I do need a favor. I need to head back to Tokyo for a few weeks to take care of some private matters. Can you watch the café for me?” Hearing you say those words almost made Ran sigh in relief. You were heading back only to set things straight with Mikey and Ran. It was time for them both to let you go. 

After ending the call, Ran questioned you - he wanted to know who that was on the other end and if that was the person who was in his way. “Is that him?” He asked while still kneeling on the floor, for someone so small, you sure knew how to hit him where it hurts. “No, he’s the landlord of the cafe - he was worried when he stopped by and the cafe was closed. He’s a good man, loving and caring of his wife and kids…” That felt like a jab at him, Ran knew he was far from perfect but for you to remind him again made him grit his teeth. The silence was deafening, neither of you knew what to say to each other, it was as if all his efforts went down the drain. He thought you were going to bend to his will after taking you between the sheets and honey coating his words, but here you were keeping your feet firmly planted on the ground. As charismatic as he was he was no longer able to make you waiver. It would have worked with another unsuspecting woman, but you knew better. 

Then it hit him, you mentioned to your landlord that you were going to Tokyo. “So you are coming back with me?” You pinched the bridge of your nose and regretted saying that out loud, you didn’t want to give Ran false hope. “Only for a few weeks, I need to straighten things out with Mikey.” Since when did you become so chummy with him? Why did Mikey save you in the first place? What did you mean to him and what did he mean to you? These questions were burning in the back of Ran’s mind. He didn’t press the issue any further, he wanted to see both your body languages when you meet in person, there was something gnawing at him about this whole situation. Something didn’t make sense. 

“We still haven’t eaten anything…” Ran broke the silence with a small smile on his face, he didn’t want to give away any suspicion or else you may not return to Tokyo. You began to take out a few things from the fridge, preparing sandwiches like the day you did with Mikey. You also brewed some coffee - just the way he liked it. You never forgot. It was the first meal of the day for you both and everything tasted like heaven. 

“This is what you serve at the cafe? It’s great, imagine if you opened a place in Tokyo or even Roppongi? You’d be busy everyday.” The compliment felt like a double jab, praising you and telling you to come home. You smiled while looking down at the cup of coffee in your hands. The memories flooded back to you of all the times you spent experimenting in Mikey’s kitchen. The faces he would make when something tastes horrible and when he encouraged you to keep at it. There was a glint of longing in your eyes that looked like stars in Ran’s eyes. “So, how did you end up here and what made you want to open a cafe?” His question snatched you from your memories. The light faded from your eyes when you realized where you were and who was in front of you. “I had so much time on my hands and ended up experimenting with stuff in the kitchen. It was the only way to keep me distracted and from thinking of you.” That last bit stung, recalling when you relapsed and Mikey had to dive into the deep end with you to save you. As much as you denied that there was someone else in your life, Mikey was there for you. Though the moments spent with Mikey were a blessing they left a bitter taste in your mouth - Ran left a bitter taste in your mouth. “Besides…he didn’t didn’t seem to mind being my guinea pig.” You chuckled and clutched your coffee cup, the smile on your face felt another slap to the face.

 “Who-” Ran’s phone began to ring, it was Rindou. Ran hadn't checked in with anyone else, he was worried about his elder brother. “You should pick up, your brother must be worried about you. He probably thinks I killed you or something. You can go talk in the living room while I clean up.” You say as you begin to clear the table. Ran stayed silent as he took his phone to the living room. When he left the kitchen, you doubled over and kneeled on the floor - what the hell were you doing? Why think of someone else when he’s here? You had no idea what you were doing. You wanted for him to give you a valid reason to move forward with Mikey’s plan - despite what your heart was saying. It was getting harder and harder to stay on track, despite the love making and kisses - it just wasn’t the same. Forgiving him was not an option. 

In the distance you could hear him talk to Rindou but the tone of voice made a knot in your stomach. The words that passed through your ear canal made you nauseous… 'She’s in the palm of my hands and coming home with me. Of course she's still in love with me.’ You only agreed to come back to Tokyo to fix things properly but it did not mean you were his forever. A small chuckle could be heard coming from the living room, Ran was really telling Rindou that you were his and coming home. The more he talked, the more and more he sounded like the Ran you left three years ago. He hasn't changed, there was no way for him to love someone other than himself. That egotistical son of bitch was reminding you of why you relapsed. That laugh sounded exactly like that night. Fool… He wants to play with fire, then you'll let him burn.

When you finished cleaning up, you met Ran in your bedroom - he was sitting on the edge of the bed and waiting for you to come and sit on his lap, just like before. Only this time you grabbed a towel and headed to the bathroom, you needed to scrub off his scent from your body before meeting Mikey. “Get some sleep, I’m gonna stay up for a bit longer...” There was vitriol on the tip of your tongue, now why did it sound so familiar to Ran? Oh right, that’s exactly what he would tell you when he wasn’t planning on sleeping in the same bed. You made up your mind, it needed to end, living a life with Ran was just not possible anymore. Not when you were thinking of him. If there was one thing you should have known better was Ran’s persistence and sharpness. The moment you turned away from him, you could hear the bed creak and heavy footsteps behind you. You stepped on the devil’s tail. He spun you around so fast you thought you were going to get whiplash. “You think I don’t know what those words mean?” There was anger behind his question. His eyes almost glowed red, he was spilling his heart out for you and you were spitting in his face. The vice grip he had on your arms was beginning to hurt. “Get your fucking hands off of me!” He was taken back by how your demeanor changed, just a minute ago you were fragile and docile, smiling at a cup of coffee and the next you were…him. 

You were met with his hands wrapped around your throat and your body was pinned against the wall. “Why won’t you just let me love you? Hm? Why?” Ran raised his voice as he began to lose his composure. “I’m trying, I am fucking trying (Y/N)!” Seeing him like this only further accelerated the resentment blossoming in your heart. You were desperately trying to escape, the many morbid thoughts began to cross your mind as you were being lifted from the floor by your neck.

Slowly your oxygen was running out and he was not loosening his grip. Your nails were digging into his arms and broke the skin trying to pry him off but it only made him squeeze tighter. It never crossed your mind that Ran would physically hurt you, he never let his temper get the best of him but this was different. He was desperate, why? “You belong to me sweetheart, no one else can have you…not that landlord, not anyone on this island, no one. Do you understand me?” He was almost enjoying the position you were in. Nothing he was saying was making sense, where did he get the idea that you were fucking the landlord, especially after you told him that he was like family? Was Ran Haitani snapping?

The devil was real and he was standing right in front of you. Call it the lack of oxygen or the panic that was swallowing you whole…but he was real. The rage he felt was radiating off of him like a poisonous gas. Not only was he crushing your throat, but he was even making the air around you thick and unbearable. He’s going to kill me…Mikey…help me. He was the last thing you could think of as everything went black.

The tears that fell from your lashes caught his attention as the light was fading from your eyes and your hands dropped to your sides. He could see you slipping and it made him come crashing back down to reality, he immediately released your throat and you collapsed to the floor. “Baby…I'm sorry-I…” Ran began to say and knelt before you, the moment he reached to cup your cheek there was no reaction or reflex. You passed out on the floor, he thought he was going to lose it. There was no going back - he just tried to kill you. The low shallow breathing could be heard in the silent room, he shook your shoulder to try and wake you up but you remained still. Ran's hands began to tremble, was it from anger or fear? 

Turning your body over, he picked you up off the floor and gently placed you in bed. You were still alive but he might as well have killed you then and there. Would you now fear and resent him, would you change your mind about going back to Tokyo? Should he pay to have a private aircraft to transport you back into Tokyo while you're unconscious? There would be no way he'd have the time to get that together by the time you'd regain consciousness. It would take 10 hours to reach the south end of the island by car - he was beginning to overthink everything. “(Y/N), I’m sorry. I love you, I love you, I love you.” He kept repeating it over and over, it was as if he was reassuring himself instead of you. The longer you laid on unconscious, the more Ran's hands trembled. The qualm that snaked its way through his mind was making him lose his composure. Who would have known that he would place the noose around your neck yet again… 

*a few hours later*

Soft sunlight bled through your windows as you felt the warmth of the sun on your face. Slowly your eyes opened and struggled to focus - everything was blurry. You groaned softly and rubbed your eyes, the swelling of your eyelids caught your attention and you pause. Soon the memories come flooding back as you turn your head to the right and see the devil sleeping without a care in the world. Last night…he- The thoughts in your head were interrupted as Ran jolted up from his sleep when he felt you shift from the bed. Gasping and flinching, you backaway and grab the nearest object to use as a weapon. It pained him to see you like this - the purple marks around your neck stared back at him. There was a clear indicator that you lost all faith in him. “Baby…” He spoke, his voice cracked and he began to slowly crawl closer to the edge of the bed. 

“Don’t…don’t fucking come near me Ran.” The venom on your tongue made him clutch his chest. He remained still and didn’t move an inch - all his effort went down the drain in an instant. “Get out.” You said while looking him dead in the eye. Ran opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by the sound of a vehicle pulling up in front of your home. You dared not to take your eyes off of him, if you did - he’d take the opportunity to disarm you. His eyes narrowed, darkness began to cloud his handsome features. The devil is beginning to stir.

“Expecting someone?” Ran said with a low tone, it made a shiver run down your spine. “Fuck you.” You spat and immediately regretted your choice of words. Ran was now face to face with you, he didn’t even mind that the object penetrated his skin and drew blood. “Say that again…I dare you…” He's starting to crack. As much as you didn't want to look away, your eyes darted towards the window and through the sheer curtains you could see him. The landlord of the Cafe was in front of your house, worry ran through the wrinkles in his face as he approached your front door. "He's coming over for something more than a well-being check, isn't he?" It made you sick how Ran was making up these things about you. 

The person who was falling apart for you yesterday at your café was gone. This is Ran's true nature - a perfect liar and a perfect heartbreaker. You were being overdosed with a mixture of poison, hatred, resentment. Poison for allowing him to seep into your skin, hatred for allowing yourself to fall into his arms again and resentment for what he’s put you through. The sound of the doorbell echoed through your home. “Go on…answer it.” Ran’s low tone made the hair on the back of your neck stand. “Don’t…I mean it.” You warned him, you knew the moment, you’d open the door he’d do something reckless. 

You slowly made your way downstairs and grabbed the nearest hoodie to wear - it was to try and hide Ran's marks around your throat. Inhale, pause and exhale. The inner voice was saying as you reached for the door. Opening it, you smile and the older man exhales in relief. "(Y/N), I'm so glad you're ok. Is everything alright, you gave my wife and I such a scare." He said still concerned that you weren't well. "I'm so sorry I worried you and your wife. I'm ok." You said meekly and smiled. Ran was in the other room, listening and waiting. He was waiting for you to slip up. Those who have been unfaithful will always have a guilty conscience. They will question your every word, your every move and god forbid you do something out of character - they will forever be plagued by their insecurities. 

"I'll be heading out soon pops, if you can please post a sign on the front door - I'll be gone for a few weeks." You say while trying your hardest not to cry, you were worried about this man's safety. If Ran decides to blow a gasket then you'd probably die here today. The old man nodded and pulled you in for a tight hug, your body stiffened out of fear. After releasing you he patted your head and spoke. "Whatever it is you're going through right now, I hope everything will be ok. You know me and (wife's name) will always be here for you." His words were sincere, he saw right through you and tried to comfort you. "Thanks pops." You said softly and bowed. 

As he walked away you could hear Ran's footsteps from behind you. Slowly he closed the door for you while still remaining out of sight. The tears began to stream down your face yet your face remained still. "You did well…lying to him like that - knowing how close to death he was." His words were heavy, they hurt and you dropped to your knees. Every possible action you wanted to take was running through your head. You couldn't think straight, much less get back up on your feet. "Pack your things…our flight leaves at 4:15." He was cold. 

I hate love.

End Part 4.

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