Habits - Tumblr Posts
Achieving my goals has been a walk through a park in spring for the longest time in my life because I aspire to be someone, not to do things. I set goals according to the kind of person I want to be and find the most natural way to go about it that's flexible enough to fit into the kind of lifestyle I live and the nature of my neurodivergence- instead of milestones that I know for a fact I will never hit because I do not have the kind of brain that can hold that train of thought for long enough for achievement.
Simply put, I focus on who I want to be, effortlessly.
I want to be the kind of person that wakes up at 4 am because that's when my focus is at its peak and daytime is too loud and too bright for me- so I make sure to be asleep by 2300 and have a day that requires vigorous use of my energy so when I hit my bed I just- pass out.
I want to be the kind of person that's always at maximum health so I shop for organic groceries and refuse to consume hyper processed foods or drinks. I learned to make nutrient dense meals at home and took a free online course on Alison on gut health and nutrition and found ingredients in my neighborhood to make meals that I like that appeal to my taste buds while being as healthy as I can get. I consume no alcohol or soda or processed sugars and drink as much water as I can. I take the stairs over the elevator and walk around town instead of taking a taxi and snack on fruits and refuse to have any unhealthy meal in my house if I can avoid it- and eat at home before I leave so the burgers don't tempt me. I learned to fast for the first 5 hours of my day and last 4. I'm easily basically a carnivore and walking around all day forces me to drink water.
I want to be a well dressed person so I only buy clothes that I know will look good on me. I get them tailored to my body and own no single dusty cloth that I know will ruin the self image I'm trying to build, even at home. I get my nails and hair done monthly and retouch my eyeliner tattoo every 6 months. My stud earrings and bracelet are basically permanent at this point I only take them out for cleaning I do not shop online and I'm willing to go thrifting every now and then to find hidden gems that won't cost me my entire net worth if I were to buy at full price. All my clothes are in my color seasons and undertones- even on my worst days I look scrumptious, I can't help it. I have no choice, it's my only option.
I want to be the kind of person that is focused- at least as focused as my brain can be so I give it no distractions. No social media no content consumption no highxlow music , we study at the library and take a walk at the park. We get the penthouse apartment because it's peaceful and we move a little deeper into the country so we are living by the woods. We prefer swimming over partying and do not engage in activities that require short length focus. We only watch long form content, if we do, and never marvel movies because the effects happen too fast and we don't like that- so we only watch slow paced movies. We only listen to white noise brown noise nature sounds and neverrr rap music, ever, so we don't even have Spotify. Ever. Or Netflix. Or Prime or whatever - we go to the cinema when we need to. Slow paced life. Offline hobbies. Off screen lifestyle. Don't even have a TV (appt came with one and i- sold eet hehe)
I want to be the kind of person that's always at peace with the people around me so I limit my interactions with them. I decide which issues are worth blowing up over and which I can let go. I learn the hierarchies of the tables I sit on and respect them, as they are. I know my place, and I stick to it, because I'm comfortable with it. I do not stick to one group of people or identify with it so clique altercations do not get to me, I do not judge or pick sides and I refuse to gossip, ever. I bring the value needed and I take the value I need and go.
I want to be the kind of person that is respected so I live in a way that demands it. I have no enemies and you will NOT catch me on some beef. I dress appropriately and learn the social etiquette of my social group. I bring value as needed, take part in my community and devote myself to my religion. I know my place, I gladly take responsibility for it and have boundaries that I do not relent on, ever. I watch myself around men, single and married, and more around their wives. I do not interact outside social politesse and say more nos that yesses, I don't let people into my house, ever, uninvited or unannounced and I do not go to theirs.
I want to be the kind of- you get the idea. I don't focus on what I NEED TO DO I focus on who I need to become, and strategize from there. Taking a walk is more natural than hitting the gym, isn't it. Having no Instagram is easier than * only spend 3 hours on Instagram*. If you have no ripped denim how will you wear ripped denim on the day you met the person that could give you opportunities? If you are not around talking to everyone how will you start fights and get locked in petty issues? If you have no soda in your house what are the chances of you drinking soda??? If you only make meals as healthy as you can what are the chances of falling sick? Having acne? Skin issues? Weak nails??
Effortlessly. Reaching your goals in the most natural way possible.
As I've kept saying- success is a question of systems, not milestones. It's not what you need to be it's who do you need to be. As naturally and effortlessly as possible, that how you go about it. Systems, so that success is a matter of natural obvious course.
podcast
Shop
Quick Summer Glowup Routine!
Aright ladies, here's the deal: The semester ended a few days ago, I'm back home, and I have a week to get my shit together before I move into the city. I want to look and feel my best this summer and it's officially crunch time. So here's a list of things I'm doing to really set myself up for success:
Beauty:
Professional teeth whitening: I've mentioned this a ton of times already but I really believe that having pearly white teeth can be a game changer and completely brighten up your face.
Microdermabrasion + IPL facials: I don't think facials are a must for great skin, but I do think they are one of the best ways to improve your skin in a time crunch. I like microdermabrasion facials for a flawless effect, and IPL facials for hyperpigmentation.
Lip Filler: I have really teeny lips and getting a bit of filler (I like the Russian technique) makes a huge difference on my face. Not necessary, but helpful.
Full body scrub treatment: Basically, you strip, get washed, get the top layer of your skin scrubbed off clean, then get moisturized. I've struggled with hyperpigmentation around my back and thighs, and these treatments really help exfoliate and even out the skin. Of course, you can purchase an exfoliating mitt and do it yourself but ya know, I'm lazy.
Daily infrared sauna sessions: There are soo many health benefits to sitting in a sauna for 30 minutes daily (weight loss, reducing risk of cardiovascular disease, flushing out toxins, etc.), but I primarily go in to shed excess water weight and detox my skin.
Lash extensions: I don't like having to put on lashes every day and I don't have much time in the morning, so I get lash extensions. I think that when done well, they're absolutely stunning.
Wig touch-up: I got my balayage a touch icey for the winter/spring so I have an appointment set up make my hair a bit more golden/sunkissed. I'm also adding a full two bundles to my wig because I love super thick long hair.
Body:
Sculpting workouts: I've scaled back my cardio to only 15 minutes so I can focus on actually shaping up my body. My gym offers pilates, tabata, barre, and body sculpt classes and I'm going to at least one daily.
Detox: Lots of probiotics and fermented foods, nothing inflammatory, oolong tea (ifykyk), very little meat, and tons of watery fruits and vegetables.
Food Sensitivity Test: I got a food sensitivity screening done this week and I can't wait to see my results. My sister recently got one done and she learned that all of her bloating and discomfort is a result of her body not responding well to spinach of all things. Understanding your food sensitivities is sooo important because you could quite literally be poisoning yourself daily without realizing it.
Water, water, water: 2 gallons of filtered water daily. Non-negotiable.
Intermittent fasting: I loveee intermittent fasting and I've recently been extending my fasting window for the longevity/cell autophagy benefits. I need less sleep, I feel more energized, and I'm more focused during the day.
Better sleep: I recently got a sleep tracker ring and turns out my sleep quality has been pitiful. SO I invested in blackout curtains, an eye mask, a white noise machine, a weighted blanket, and a humidifier. I also got blue-light blocking glasses which are helping a ton!
Personal/Professional Development:
I placed an order for 200 business cards.
I updated my Hinge, LinkedIn, and Facebook accounts.
I sent 8 professional outfits in for tailoring.
I created a spending/budgeting schedule for the summer to stay on top of my finances.
I sold 5 bags and put the money directly into my savings accounts.
I'm looking for a good therapist to see several nights a week.
I signed up for personal training sessions once per week.
I've made a long list of high profile people I'm semi-connected to (via school/work) in the city to network with.
I've started meditating 30 minutes daily.
I spent 4 hours making a new vision board that I read through every morning and night.
Lovingly,
Elle
Quick Summer Glowup Routine!
Aright ladies, here's the deal: The semester ended a few days ago, I'm back home, and I have a week to get my shit together before I move into the city. I want to look and feel my best this summer and it's officially crunch time. So here's a list of things I'm doing to really set myself up for success:
Beauty:
Professional teeth whitening: I've mentioned this a ton of times already but I really believe that having pearly white teeth can be a game changer and completely brighten up your face.
Microdermabrasion + IPL facials: I don't think facials are a must for great skin, but I do think they are one of the best ways to improve your skin in a time crunch. I like microdermabrasion facials for a flawless effect, and IPL facials for hyperpigmentation.
Lip Filler: I have really teeny lips and getting a bit of filler (I like the Russian technique) makes a huge difference on my face. Not necessary, but helpful.
Full body scrub treatment: Basically, you strip, get washed, get the top layer of your skin scrubbed off clean, then get moisturized. I've struggled with hyperpigmentation around my back and thighs, and these treatments really help exfoliate and even out the skin. Of course, you can purchase an exfoliating mitt and do it yourself but ya know, I'm lazy.
Daily infrared sauna sessions: There are soo many health benefits to sitting in a sauna for 30 minutes daily (weight loss, reducing risk of cardiovascular disease, flushing out toxins, etc.), but I primarily go in to shed excess water weight and detox my skin.
Lash extensions: I don't like having to put on lashes every day and I don't have much time in the morning, so I get lash extensions. I think that when done well, they're absolutely stunning.
Wig touch-up: I got my balayage a touch icey for the winter/spring so I have an appointment set up make my hair a bit more golden/sunkissed. I'm also adding a full two bundles to my wig because I love super thick long hair.
Body:
Sculpting workouts: I've scaled back my cardio to only 15 minutes so I can focus on actually shaping up my body. My gym offers pilates, tabata, barre, and body sculpt classes and I'm going to at least one daily.
Detox: Lots of probiotics and fermented foods, nothing inflammatory, oolong tea (ifykyk), very little meat, and tons of watery fruits and vegetables.
Food Sensitivity Test: I got a food sensitivity screening done this week and I can't wait to see my results. My sister recently got one done and she learned that all of her bloating and discomfort is a result of her body not responding well to spinach of all things. Understanding your food sensitivities is sooo important because you could quite literally be poisoning yourself daily without realizing it.
Water, water, water: 2 gallons of filtered water daily. Non-negotiable.
Intermittent fasting: I loveee intermittent fasting and I've recently been extending my fasting window for the longevity/cell autophagy benefits. I need less sleep, I feel more energized, and I'm more focused during the day.
Better sleep: I recently got a sleep tracker ring and turns out my sleep quality has been pitiful. SO I invested in blackout curtains, an eye mask, a white noise machine, a weighted blanket, and a humidifier. I also got blue-light blocking glasses which are helping a ton!
Personal/Professional Development:
I placed an order for 200 business cards.
I updated my Hinge, LinkedIn, and Facebook accounts.
I sent 8 professional outfits in for tailoring.
I created a spending/budgeting schedule for the summer to stay on top of my finances.
I sold 5 bags and put the money directly into my savings accounts.
I'm looking for a good therapist to see several nights a week.
I signed up for personal training sessions once per week.
I've made a long list of high profile people I'm semi-connected to (via school/work) in the city to network with.
I've started meditating 30 minutes daily.
I spent 4 hours making a new vision board that I read through every morning and night.
Lovingly,
Elle
How to Wake Up Early
I always wanted to be one of those girls who would wake up early, go for a run and be super productive with their mornings. The issue is - i really love sleep. Every time i would start a routine, i would eventually fail. I would wake up to turn the alarm off, think to myself “5 mins more” and boom- it’s suddenly 8:30 am and i need to leave for work in less than 1 hour.
Two videos on YouTube really changed my mind. One was Andrew Huberman’s, and the other was Jihyo, a k-pop star.
I came across Andrew Huberman’s video about dopamine, and somehow, it helped me to understand why the difficulty waking up early is so important. Now I’m no expert of neuroscience, but let me explain to the best of my abilities.
Dopamine is essentially the build up to the reward; it is not the reward. It is the satisfaction and happiness you feel (when your body releases), after you have achieved something that was painful/ required you to struggle a bit. In order to receive this reward, you have to feel pain, because pain and satisfaction are directly related to each other. Satisfaction without pain is useless and does nothing for you essentially.
That got me wondering: for me, waking up early is difficult. It’s painful. I dont want to do it. But if I do it, its my first win of the day. It’s the first challenge I have overcome of that day, and I always do feel amazing after. The dopamine release after the struggle of waking up and winning the battle of not going back to sleep is definitely there. I feel more confident because a) I have done the “right” thing b) selfishly, i can do something so simple that a lot of people struggle with c) it weirdly makes me feel more confident and like I’m doing the first step of being an adult right.
Jihyo’s video was quite random - she did some show where it shows her daily life when she’s not working. Parts of it made me feel like she’s unable to just relax with herself (probably because her body and mind are so used to chaos, performing, her girl group living together for so many years) so she busies herself a lot. I took the positives from the video; she’s extremely disciplined which I admired, she gets her chores done, she’s good at ensuring that her space is truly her space.
So I decided to build a relatively foolproof routine; but mind you, it does require quite a bit of willpower.
I’ve developed a habit of waking of waking up at 5 am. I head straight for a 30-45 minute meditation and then at least an hour long workout. I stack my habits that way; right after meditation, I put on my running shoes. I used to really struggle with waking up, even if I had to wake up late. This is the strategy that worked me, see if it works for you.
1. Reset your space the night before
This makes you feel less stressed in the morning and also genuinely makes you feel like you have your shit together. Put your clothes away, keep your bag in its place, clean up your desk, reorganise your make up and skin care products. You’re going to go to sleep and wake up to a clean space.
Make sure you define both your bedtime and wake up time. My bedtime is 9:30 pm - so i manage my chores, reading, dinner, everything around that.
2. Early dinner
I’ve noticed that early dinners help me sleep better. I’ve built the habit of casually walking for 25-30 minutes post dinner (not right after eating, after about 15 mins). I’m not walking fast to a point where I’m sweating and puffing, I’m casually strolling outside. During this time, I don’t listen to music, interact with anyone or my phone. I use this time to connect with myself and think about whatever I feel like.
3. No devices before sleeping
I don’t want to stimulate myself before sleeping, so I prefer reading before bed. If you don’t like reading, you can instead do your skincare, maybe revise some physical study notes, etc.
4. Using Alarmy app
This app is torture and I swear by it. This little thing makes you a solve a challenge of your choice in order to make the alarm stop, like math problems, puzzles, etc. I chose 5 math problems.
5. Keep your phone across the room
Don’t charge it near your reach. Keep it as away from you as possible.
6. Stand for two minutes after shutting off the alarm
Don’t allow yourself to snooze, or go back to bed. This is the part that really requires you to tell yourself: “i am not going back to sleep. I’m going to wake up and do the things I have to do for my own benefit.” Remember - the states of heaven and hell are not outside of you, they’re inside you. They are mental states. You have to fight with your lazy demon and tell him/her/whoever that NO; we are NOT going back to bed.
I charge my phone across the room so that forces me to walk first thing in the morning. To stop myself from going back to sleep, after i have shut the alarm off, i just stand for 2 minutes. I dont sit, or go back to bed. I stand and tell myself, we’re doing this. We’re going to wake up and have an amazing day.
Your mind is like a child with tantrums and mood swings. Your rational self has to discipline your mind the way a parent would to a child.
7. Turn a small light on
Not something that is jarring or overwhelming, but enough to help you start waking up. I turn my phone’s flashlight on and keep it on my desk.
8. Be consistent, even on weekends
The biggest mistake you can make is not being consistent. Your body doesnt recognise weekends, your mind does. Your body doesn’t know that tomorrow is Monday, so its time to wake up early. By staying consistent (yes, I wake up at 5 am on weekends too), it allows my body to develop its own body clock and not wrecking the system I’ve kept in place.
What do I do if I have a late night?
It really depends. Let’s say I come home relatively early (+2 hours around my bedtime) around 11 pm, and im in bed by 11:30. I’ll wake up somewhere close to 5 am, like 6 am instead. The next day I ensure I’m in bed by the bedtime I’ve kept for myself and wake up at 5 am again.
If I come home really late, like 3 am - i keep my alarm exactly 8 hours from that time. I need to get sleep, but oversleeping is an issue and that wont allow me to wake up early the next day. I want to get enough sleep where im rested for the day, but not excessively. Unfortunately, sleeping so late would definitely mean that i wont be able to fall asleep at my dot 9:30 pm bedtime, but i turn the lights off and get ready to sleep by then anyway, and mentally prepare for my 5 am wake up call.
How to Wake Up Early
I always wanted to be one of those girls who would wake up early, go for a run and be super productive with their mornings. The issue is - i really love sleep. Every time i would start a routine, i would eventually fail. I would wake up to turn the alarm off, think to myself “5 mins more” and boom- it’s suddenly 8:30 am and i need to leave for work in less than 1 hour.
Two videos on YouTube really changed my mind. One was Andrew Huberman’s, and the other was Jihyo, a k-pop star.
I came across Andrew Huberman’s video about dopamine, and somehow, it helped me to understand why the difficulty waking up early is so important. Now I’m no expert of neuroscience, but let me explain to the best of my abilities.
Dopamine is essentially the build up to the reward; it is not the reward. It is the satisfaction and happiness you feel (when your body releases), after you have achieved something that was painful/ required you to struggle a bit. In order to receive this reward, you have to feel pain, because pain and satisfaction are directly related to each other. Satisfaction without pain is useless and does nothing for you essentially.
That got me wondering: for me, waking up early is difficult. It’s painful. I dont want to do it. But if I do it, its my first win of the day. It’s the first challenge I have overcome of that day, and I always do feel amazing after. The dopamine release after the struggle of waking up and winning the battle of not going back to sleep is definitely there. I feel more confident because a) I have done the “right” thing b) selfishly, i can do something so simple that a lot of people struggle with c) it weirdly makes me feel more confident and like I’m doing the first step of being an adult right.
Jihyo’s video was quite random - she did some show where it shows her daily life when she’s not working. Parts of it made me feel like she’s unable to just relax with herself (probably because her body and mind are so used to chaos, performing, her girl group living together for so many years) so she busies herself a lot. I took the positives from the video; she’s extremely disciplined which I admired, she gets her chores done, she’s good at ensuring that her space is truly her space.
So I decided to build a relatively foolproof routine; but mind you, it does require quite a bit of willpower.
I’ve developed a habit of waking of waking up at 5 am. I head straight for a 30-45 minute meditation and then at least an hour long workout. I stack my habits that way; right after meditation, I put on my running shoes. I used to really struggle with waking up, even if I had to wake up late. This is the strategy that worked me, see if it works for you.
1. Reset your space the night before
This makes you feel less stressed in the morning and also genuinely makes you feel like you have your shit together. Put your clothes away, keep your bag in its place, clean up your desk, reorganise your make up and skin care products. You’re going to go to sleep and wake up to a clean space.
Make sure you define both your bedtime and wake up time. My bedtime is 9:30 pm - so i manage my chores, reading, dinner, everything around that.
2. Early dinner
I’ve noticed that early dinners help me sleep better. I’ve built the habit of casually walking for 25-30 minutes post dinner (not right after eating, after about 15 mins). I’m not walking fast to a point where I’m sweating and puffing, I’m casually strolling outside. During this time, I don’t listen to music, interact with anyone or my phone. I use this time to connect with myself and think about whatever I feel like.
3. No devices before sleeping
I don’t want to stimulate myself before sleeping, so I prefer reading before bed. If you don’t like reading, you can instead do your skincare, maybe revise some physical study notes, etc.
4. Using Alarmy app
This app is torture and I swear by it. This little thing makes you a solve a challenge of your choice in order to make the alarm stop, like math problems, puzzles, etc. I chose 5 math problems.
5. Keep your phone across the room
Don’t charge it near your reach. Keep it as away from you as possible.
6. Stand for two minutes after shutting off the alarm
Don’t allow yourself to snooze, or go back to bed. This is the part that really requires you to tell yourself: “i am not going back to sleep. I’m going to wake up and do the things I have to do for my own benefit.” Remember - the states of heaven and hell are not outside of you, they’re inside you. They are mental states. You have to fight with your lazy demon and tell him/her/whoever that NO; we are NOT going back to bed.
I charge my phone across the room so that forces me to walk first thing in the morning. To stop myself from going back to sleep, after i have shut the alarm off, i just stand for 2 minutes. I dont sit, or go back to bed. I stand and tell myself, we’re doing this. We’re going to wake up and have an amazing day.
Your mind is like a child with tantrums and mood swings. Your rational self has to discipline your mind the way a parent would to a child.
7. Turn a small light on
Not something that is jarring or overwhelming, but enough to help you start waking up. I turn my phone’s flashlight on and keep it on my desk.
8. Be consistent, even on weekends
The biggest mistake you can make is not being consistent. Your body doesnt recognise weekends, your mind does. Your body doesn’t know that tomorrow is Monday, so its time to wake up early. By staying consistent (yes, I wake up at 5 am on weekends too), it allows my body to develop its own body clock and not wrecking the system I’ve kept in place.
What do I do if I have a late night?
It really depends. Let’s say I come home relatively early (+2 hours around my bedtime) around 11 pm, and im in bed by 11:30. I’ll wake up somewhere close to 5 am, like 6 am instead. The next day I ensure I’m in bed by the bedtime I’ve kept for myself and wake up at 5 am again.
If I come home really late, like 3 am - i keep my alarm exactly 8 hours from that time. I need to get sleep, but oversleeping is an issue and that wont allow me to wake up early the next day. I want to get enough sleep where im rested for the day, but not excessively. Unfortunately, sleeping so late would definitely mean that i wont be able to fall asleep at my dot 9:30 pm bedtime, but i turn the lights off and get ready to sleep by then anyway, and mentally prepare for my 5 am wake up call.
100 Things To Do Instead Of Doom-Scrolling Through Social Media
Read a book.
Write in a journal.
Learn to cook a new recipe.
Practice a musical instrument.
Start a DIY project.
Draw or paint.
Learn a new language.
Do a puzzle.
Exercise or do yoga.
Listen to a podcast.
Watch a documentary.
Play a board game.
Try a new workout routine.
Meditate.
Start a garden.
Plan a future trip.
Volunteer online.
Write a letter to a friend or family member.
Learn to knit or crochet.
Take online courses.
Practice photography.
Organize your closet.
Play video games.
Learn a magic trick.
Write a short story.
Create a vision board.
Make a playlist of your favorite songs.
Try a new hairstyle.
Experiment with makeup.
Learn to juggle.
Play a card game.
Do a home workout challenge.
Explore virtual museums or art galleries.
Do a digital detox day.
Learn calligraphy.
Rearrange your furniture.
Create a scrapbook.
Learn to play chess.
Write and perform a song.
Practice mindfulness.
Learn origami.
Plan a themed dinner night.
Do a home spa day.
Learn to code.
Play a musical instrument.
Build a blanket fort.
Take online dance lessons.
Research and try a new type of tea.
Learn about astronomy and stargaze.
Try a new board game.
Create a podcast.
Learn to solve a Rubik's Cube.
Start a blog.
Make homemade candles.
Research your family tree.
Practice a new type of art (e.g., watercolor, sculpture).
Learn to speed-read.
Write a poem.
Make a list of personal goals.
Learn to play a new card game.
Create a budget.
Build a puzzle or Lego set.
Learn to identify constellations.
Try a new fitness class online.
Make homemade pizza.
Experiment with DIY face masks.
Learn about a historical event.
Create a bucket list.
Learn to tie different knots.
Try a new type of workout (e.g., Pilates, kickboxing).
Create digital art.
Plan a themed movie marathon.
Learn to juggle.
Explore a new genre of music.
Write a letter to your future self.
Take up a new hobby (e.g., birdwatching, geocaching).
Research and try a new type of cuisine.
Make homemade ice cream.
Practice deep breathing exercises.
Create a photo album.
Try a new type of dance.
Write and perform a short play.
Learn to play a new board game.
Take a virtual tour of a historical site.
Make a time capsule.
Learn about different types of architecture.
Plan a virtual game night with friends.
Write and illustrate a children's book.
Try a new form of exercise (e.g., HIIT, Zumba).
Learn about different types of plants.
Create a DIY home decor project.
Plan a themed picnic at home.
Research and try a new type of dessert.
Practice positive affirmations.
Try a new type of puzzle (e.g., crosswords, Sudoku).
Learn about different types of birds.
Experiment with DIY skincare products.
Take up a new form of art (e.g., pottery, glassblowing).
Create a list of things you're grateful for.
Learn about a new culture.
a healthy habit I’ve adopted recently is asking myself “how is this serving me”. I take this approach mostly when I’m scrolling through social media but it works for me in other aspects of life as well, such as when staying up late reading. Or what I’m feeding myself, sometimes it IS having that butter & honey on my fruit toast or having those cookies if it nourishes my soul. But having that question “how is this serving me” also lets me be conscious of how I am spending my time & resources. It allows me to tune into my goals and each step that either brings me closer or further from these
15 habits of successful women
inspiration comes from countless sources about prosperous women
wake up early
follow a morning routine
follow an evening routine
journal daily
read books
view every situation as an opportunity
go for walks
eat healthy
drink water
meditate
prepare for your day the night before
keep an idea notebook
listen to podcasts
exercise at least 3x a week
practice gratitude
12 habits to take up in june
1. starting your day with a gentle morning yoga routine. bonus points if it's outside.
2. take a daily nature walk and enjoy the weather.
3. add slices of your favorite fruits like strawberries, lemons, and mint to your water.
4. start a daily journal to reflect and practice gratitude.
5. try new seasonal recipes like salads and smoothies.
6. plant a flower, herb, or veggie garden.
7. read a good book at a park or in your backyard.
8. try creative hobbies like painting, knitting, or scrapbooking.
9. dedicate one day a week to being a self-care day. relax, take a long bath, do a face mask.
10. meditate for a few minutes every day.
11. go for bike rides in your neighborhood or on new trails.
12. go stargazing in a cozy spot with a blanket.
🎀 The It Girl Lifestyle Guide 🎀
hi girlies! this guide is a part of the big series: The Ultimate It-Girlism Guide. in this mini guide i'll be including all things health, morning/nighttime routines, and more!
How to create your ideal morning / night / any other routine:
Here’s a mini step by step guide to curating a routine that works specifically for YOU, tailored to your own needs and wants. This can be for any routine u wanna create: morning, night, after school, after work, before school/ work, etc etc.
Apps / things needed:
ChatGPT (or an AI like that- it’s not completely necessary but it’s useful)
Notes app / docs app. (Or a pen and paper- this will be to write down the routine!)
Calendar app (optional tbh)
Ok so first off: decide what you want in your routine. Make a list in no particular order of what you need/ want in the routine.
Some examples:
Once you’ve created this list, you’re pretty much half way done. In this next part you can use chat GPT to make it easier, or use your own mind.
The next thing to do is: ask chatGPT to make a routine with the steps u wanted.
Make sure to mention what time your routine starts and ends. And if there’s anything you want to change, you can just ask the AI or make those changes yourself!
The last step is to write it down!
You can either write it down on the notes app, docs, on a journal/ piece of paper, anything that’s easily accessible to you. I heavily recommend writing it down somewhere, but if you dont want to you can…
Put it into your calander. This can help you be a bit more organised, but it’s not completely needed. As long as it’s written down somewhere- so you dont need to always remember it- you’re good.
Health and wellness
In this section, i will be talking about fitness, mental health and physical health. I will mention some useful tips to finally start, how to overcome procrastination, and how to take care of that area of your body.
1. FITNESS.
Numero uno: fitness! I’m not going to go yapping on about how fitness is so important- im assuming you all know that by now. But let me just remind you that staying fit is not only exercising or going to the gym everyday. It can be: running, going for a walk, playing a sport, yoga, pilates, dancing, cycling, and THE LIST GOES ON. DO anything that moves your body and gets you fit!
Here are some tips to help you get started:
Start small. Set small goals first. Set SMART goals
Choose the activities you enjoy. Like i mentioned earlier, there’s tons of ways to stay fit- cycling, running, swimming, yoga, dance, sports, etc. etc. (if you like, joining a class or working out with friends can help you stay motivated!)
Stay consistent. I know i know, this is said everywhere. But there is no progress without consistency. Even if you can’t do a whole workout one day, try and do 10 jumping jacks, or 5 pushups. Do whatever you can. Remember: 1% is better than 0.
Create a vision board. You can create one yourself, or find tons of them off Pinterest. Vision boards will make the process so much more fun and will certainly motivate you.
Set a reward system. Tell yourself: if you do this high intensity workout now, you can go to the spa later or watch tv.
Find a why. This goes for like everything tbh. If your why is big enough, you are capable of doing anything (even finding that lost book that you owe the library!) basically, are you doing this to get ripped? With tons of abs, or to get strong and impress people? Or are you doing this to boost your self esteem and improve your health?
2. FOOD & NUTRITION.
Balanced diet: eat the rainbow! Meaning- eat meals with a variety of different colours. Fruits, vegetables, proteins, carbohydrates, etc. it’s completely alright to eat a chocolate, but remember: EVERYTHING IN MODERATION.
Hydration: aim for at least 8 glasses of water a day. Trust me, drinking the magical potion that is water will help you SO much! It can help you clear your skin, have pink uncrusty lips, keep you fit and soooo much more.
Mindful eating: in the book IKIGAI it is said that you should only eat until you’re 80% full. Not 100%. Why? Because the time it takes for you to digest the food will have already made you extremely full. You may even have a stomachache. Studies also show that cutting back on calories can lead to better heart health, longevity, and weight loss.
Here are some tips to manage cravings:
Find healthier alternatives. If you are craving something sweet like chocolate, have something like a sweet fruit. If you crave something salty, try nuts. If you can’t think of any, search up some healthier alternatives to it!
Create more friction for junk, and less friction for healthy. This concept was said in the book Atomic Habits by James Clear. What does it mean? Make sure that it takes a lot of energy to get the unhealthy junk food. Maybe keep them high up in a cupboard so whenever you want it you have to go get a ladder, climb up, and then get it. And keep the healthy food in easy reach. Like some fruits open on a table, etc. (also remember to keep some actually yummy healthy food like Greek yogurt or protein bars.)
Distract yourself. Go do a workout or engage your mind in a hobby that you enjoy. Basically take your mind off food.
Yummy water. Make some lemonade for yourself. Or perhaps add slices of lemon, cucumber, mint or strawberries to it for some flavours. I’d do some research on this cus i know that some combos can rly help for things like clearing your skin, boosting energy, etc.
3. MENTAL HEALTH
Taking care of your mental health is just as important as taking care of your physical health. It affects how we think, feel and act and also determines how we handle stress, relate to others, relationships, etc.
Of course there will be ups and downs for our mental health. It’s not something that you can just fix once and it’ll be good forever. No, it’s a rollercoaster. But having a “good” mental health is really important for a successful lifestyle.
Here are some tips to help you improve your mental health:
Meditation / deep breathing. I can’t emphasise how important this is. Even 1-2 minutes a day is good. Start small. You dont even need to be sitting crossed legged for this. Whether you’re in class, on a vehicle or in a stressful situation; just breathe. Take a deep breath, and out. Do it right now.
Journalling. Write. It. Out. Writing your problems and worries out is SOO therapeutic, especially when you want to calm down. There are SO MANY benefits to journalling. But remember that once you’ve ranted on the paper, tear it, rip it, and watch it burn. (Don’t keep a journal for this unless you KNOW 150% that no ones ever gonna read it. Trust me, it’s terrifying knowing that someone’s read that.) other things you can do is create a gratitude journal, so whenever you’re feeling low you can just go to it or write in it.
Self careee!! Create time for self care in your week. Because if you do that, it’s gonna be that one thing which you’ll be looking forward to each week, which will make life SO much more fun and bearable. For me, my forms of self care are watching thewizardliz or tam Kaur, reading, watching a movie at night, etc.
POSITIVE. SELF. TALK. Need i say more? What you say to yourself, is what you believe. And what you believe reflects in your external life.
Sing your heart out to Olivia Rodrigo. I swear this is actually so calming and therapeutic. Basically: express your feelings. If you’re angry at someone, feeling grief or really hurt by someone, screaming to Olivia Rodrigo songs in my bedroom is my go-to (i just make sure not to do it when others can here hehe). You can punch your pillow, scream, cry, etc.
Remember honey: this too will pass. Repeat that over in your head. This will pass. This will pass. This will pass. I know you may be going through the toughest time ever, but this too will pass. Nothing is forever. You’ve gotten through so much worse. You’ve got this.
!! Girls, please remember that these are just some tips. I am NOT a professional. If you really feel horrible every single day, go to therapy or counselling. Also contact mental health hotlines or emergency numbers if needed.
Mkay thats it! I hope this was of some value to you, and stay tuned for the next guide in the it girl series!
Becoming the “It” girl: using science to redefine your identity
Hello friends,
A longer post today but I’m excited about this one!
I like to define an "It Girl" as someone who embodies the highest version of oneself, a created identity that reflects your most aspirational qualities and personal vision of success and confidence.
However, this post isn’t bout conforming to standards or expectations but rather embodying the best version of who you imagine yourself to be.
Today, I wanted to talk about how social science-based principles like self-presentation, cognitive dissonance, and identity alignment can help u become an“It Girl” in our own lives and achieve the identity you’ve been desiring.
What is identity
Our identity impacts all areas of our life; it’s the person we think we are and how we communicate that to others.
For example, if you see yourself as confident and capable, you are more likely to approach challenges with a positive attitude and take risks that lead to growth.
On the other hand, if you view yourself as unworthy, you are more likely to shy away from opportunities and not reach your full potential.
Our identity manifests as how we present ourselves to the world, including our body language, communication styles, and behavior.
In addition, our identities are constantly changing as we grow and evolve, influenced by our experiences, goals, and relationships with the people around us. This is why it’s important to continue to refine your personal brand and set standards for yourself to stay authentic.
Taking the time to evaluate our current identity and identifying areas where we can make changes is a good way to get aligned with our highest selves. We can ask ourselves questions such as:
How do I describe myself in three words?
What are my core values and beliefs?
How do I typically respond to challenges and setbacks?
What are my strengths and weaknesses?
How do I feel about my abilities and potential for success?
How do I present myself to others in social and professional settings?
What is my body language like in different situations (e.g., confident, reserved)?
How do I communicate with others (e.g., assertive, passive, aggressive)?
What kind of feedback do I receive from others about my behavior and attitude?
Do my actions align with the person I want to be?
How do I handle criticism and praise?
What goals do I have for personal and professional growth?
What is Self-Presentation?
Self-presentation involves the things we do to portray a particular image of ourselves; it’s how we dress, speak, behave, and present ourselves in different contexts. Our self-presentation is closely linked to our identity because it shapes how others perceive us, which can influence how we see ourselves.
Projecting the identity we want and living by our values and beliefs requires consistent management of our self-presentation. Our behaviors, thoughts, and emotions should reflect those of the identity we’re internalizing.
For example, if your identity is someone who is stylish, you’ll want to curate your wardrobe in a way that reflects that. In a similar context, if your new identity is someone who’s highly education you might start to spend some of your free time reading books, articles, newsletters, etc.
It’s all about helping to align how others see us with how we see ourselves.
Although other people’s opinions shouldn’t dictate our lives, a big part of our identity is shaped by how others view us. Their feedback can either affirm or refute what we’ve internalized to be true.
Here are some techniques for mastering self-presentation and how they can be used to access your highest self:
Dress in a way that reflects your identity, curate a wardrobe that matches who you aspire to be
Use confident body language, such as maintaining eye contact and standing/sitting upright in social settings
Practice speaking with clarity and confidence
Clean up your social media and only follow content that aligns with your identity or helps keep you on track
Establish and maintain boundaries without people in your life that reflect your values and priorities
Invest in personal and professional development through courses, workshops, and reading
Surround yourself with people and environments that support and reflect your highest self/new identity
Regularly express gratitude and maintain a positive outlook
Questions to evaluate and improve self-presentation
What are my core values and how do they influence my behavior?
How do I want others to perceive me?
Does my current wardrobe reflect the person I want to be?
What body language habits can I improve to appear more confident?
How can I improve my communication skills to better align with my desired identity?
In what ways can I be more consistent in how I present myself across different contexts?
What feedback have I received about my self-presentation, and how can I use it to improve?
Am I living in a way that aligns with my highest self, or are there areas where I can improve?
What actions can I take today to better project the identity I want?
How can I ensure my actions are authentic and reflect my true self?
How cognitive dissonance impacts us
Rebranding yourself and changing your identity involves leaving your old life behind. It sounds simple, but it can be very a mentally exhausting change. This is where cognitive dissonance comes into effect.
Cognitive dissonance is the psychological discomfort experienced when our actions conflict with our beliefs or values. If we’re not acting in accordance with our beliefs, we’ll end up with mental discomfort. As a result, we either end up changing our habits or our beliefs.
For example, if you see yourself as an active person but keep skipping the gym, high dissonance might make you change your belief instead of your habit. You might start telling routinely yourself, "It's just this once," rather than actually going.
This may sound stressful and prove to be a challenge during your rebrand. However, dissonance can play a positive role if you’ve strongly internalized a core aspect of your identity. For example, if you see yourself as someone health-conscious or someone who frequents the gym, you’ll consistently find ways to show that this is true, whether that’s going to the gym daily or meal prepping.
In terms of identity formation, when we highlight inconsistencies between our self-perception and our actions, we actually push towards more aligned behavior.
When we recognize that our actions don’t align with who we believe we are, we can use that discomfort to motivate positive change.
In combination with the tips previously mentioned, we can also:
Regularly evaluate our actions and beliefs to identify any discrepancies. Ask ourselves if our behavior aligns with our values and goals
Define specific, actionable steps that align with our desired identity. This can help create a guideline for behavior that supports us
Be willing to accept change and continue to grow and learn more about ourselves
So how can we apply these principles to become an “It Girl”
Define our "It Girl" identity:
Self-reflection: take time to reflect on who you want to be. Write down the qualities, values, and behaviors that define your highest self
Vision board: create a vision board (physical or digital) with images, words, and quotes that represent your ideal identity so that you’re constantly reminded of your goal
Align your self-presentation:
Wardrobe audit: go through your closet and sort items that don’t align with your desired identity. Also invest in pieces that make you feel confident and reflect your new persona
Body language: practice positive body language such as standing tall, maintaining eye contact in conversations
Use cognitive dissonance to your advantage:
Identify inconsistencies: regularly assess your actions and identify areas where they don’t align with your desired identity
Set goals: create specific, actionable goals to address these inconsistencies. For example, if you want to be healthier plan to incorporate more whole foods into your diet
Monitor progress: keep track of your progress and celebrate small wins to stay motivated
Cultivate positive habits:
Daily routines: establish daily routines that support your identity. This could include a morning exercise routine or a consistent skincare routine
Mindfulness practices: incorporate daily mindfulness practices like meditation or journaling
Continue to learn: commit to lifelong learning. Read books, take courses, and seek new experiences that contribute to your personal growth
Build a support system:
Find mentors: seek out mentors or role models who embody qualities you admire. Learn from their experiences and guidance
Surround yourself with positivity: build a network of supportive friends and family who encourage and inspire you
Rebranding yourself is a long and tedious journey, but with a little help from some science-based principles it can be as beneficial as ever!
As always,
Love Luna <3
these are the habits you have to give up before the year is out:
worrying about people and things you can’t control
negative conversations with others
obsessing about what others think
lying for others
expect others to do what you want them to do and get angry if they don't do it
creating expectations on others
gossiping
making excuses for not taking care of your responsibilities
lying to yourself
putting your needs lasts
giving priority to other people's opinions rather than your own
letting the negative opinions of others affect you
limiting yourself
comparing themselves to others and putting them on a pedestal
giving prominence to people who do not deserve it
set boundaries with others but not with yourself
spending too much time on social media
habits you need to implement:
create a daily routine that you feel comfortable with and suits you
calming your mind a few times a day
positive affirmations and healthy thoughts
complimenting others and congratulating their success
letting go of things you can’t control
ending toxic relationships
more time outside
making yourself and your health a priority
self compassion and self forgiveness
taking responsibilities
more self care
beginning with a motivation each day
do what you need for yourself
starting something new (activity, hobby, habit)
not to depend on others and to learn to do things you want to do on your own
focus on the good things and not on the things you don't like
exercise and eat healthy for the sake of your body and not to fit into a beauty canon
getting out of your comfort zone
focus on building healthy relationships rather than being guided by false expectations of how relationships should be
be true to yourself and your values
not to sell or denigrate you for money or lavish gifts
do you ever see someone in some quiet intimate moment and suddenly love them so desperately you feel like you’re dying
#like when they pass a mirror and make a face and mess with their hair a little #or when you hear someone singing in their car with the windows rolled up as they drive past you #i don’t know how to express this i just. people are people and it makes me so sad and filled up sometimes
Describing habits of a clandestine nature/jk as edacious? And you italicized it? Woahoh I am blushing!
hes a hungry boy !!
I realized recently (again) that in order to get to the next level as an artist/music producer/musician I need to become a version of myself that is capable of getting there.
So, I started Analyzing myself, good habits, bad habits, and triggers.
Have you ever thought about what triggers you to behave in a manner that is inconsistent with the person you want to become?
If not, I highly recommend starting yesterday before its to late.
#personaldevelopmentjourney #habits #teach_or_trav
#getmoneymakemusic
