Gosh Jazz Deserves The World - Tumblr Posts

There needs to be more content about Jazz - specifically about how she handles her brother's death.

I want to see more of Jazz's grief. The fact that she wakes up every morning and faces her little brother whom she raised when her parents didn't. The fact that she watches him eat and drink and put on his shoes and walk out the house every morning, while Jazz takes a single moment to sit at the now empty dinner table and process the fact that her brother died while the clock hanging on the wall ticks behind her and reminds her she can't be late.

I want more of Jazz knowing that grief is a part of life and mourning can be a healthy way to deal with loss, while struggling to come to terms with the fact that her brother died in the basement of the house that she currently sleeps in every night - all while her parents miss breakfast yet again in favour of tinker away in their lab.

I want to see Jazz fumbling her way through keeping up appearances while struggling to find some form of peace in between all the responsibilities she's juggling.

Sometimes it's when the glass in front of her mists up completely while she's in the shower and the water's so hot she can't see her reflection in the mirror and the steam stifles her breathing.

When she's alone in the freezer aisle staring at the packaging of Danny's favourite ice cream with only the sound of the refrigeration humming in her ears.

When she brushes her hair in the mirror and catches sight of the split ends that need to be trimmed.

When she's wading through the piles of dirty laundry in Danny's bedroom and sorting out which ones are most in need of a wash, only to look up and catch sight of the faded glow in the dark stars still stuck to his ceiling.

When she lays out her notes on the kitchen table while waiting for Dash to arrive for his tutoring lessons. The sound of footsteps walking up the driveway doesn't stop her from staring at the cracked tile above the sink, but the shrill sound of their doorbell has her stumbling from her seat, tripping over her feet while the glass of water in her hand goes rolling across the countertop.

I want Jazz to seek sanctuary in the fleeting moments of silence in her everyday life. She's still a teenager with no one to talk to. For all that she pesters Danny on speaking his mind and not keeping his worries to himself, she's an absolute hypocrite. But there isn't anything she can do about it. She's always been pitied as the most "normal" Fenton, and as long as she keeps it together and keeps herself moving then no one will notice how her parents never seem to leave the house anymore, or how she's the only one making dinner every night. No one will see the bags under her eyes, hidden beneath all the concealer and powder. People will look at her and see that they're doing okay - regardless of how many late assignments her brother hands in and the number of detention slips he's managed to accumulate.

I want to see her counting down the days till her 18th birthday while she chokes on the fact that her parents had a hand in killing her brother - that they still haven't noticed what's right in front of them, even though they should’ve. Love isn't enough to raise a child and it's something that Jazz has always been acutely aware of - something she's never had the courage to face - but now she feels goosebumps every time she hugs her dad and she's turning blue every time she meets her mother's eyes.

I want to see Jazz desperately trying to stop herself from falling apart at the seams. She's smart and far too self aware and struggling to keep her head above water. I want to see her dealing with her grief in the only way that she can with all the limited time and resources she has - all while swallowing down the guilt that she's fine and that she's okay and that she isn't even the one that died so how can she be the one feeling like she can't get enough air into her lungs when most days her brother doesn't even have a heartbeat.