...for Plot Reasons - Tumblr Posts
Honestly it would be hilarious if Clark and Bruce started dating and Clark was unaware that Bruce was batman or knew his identity.
At some point Bruce kisses him as superman after a rescue and Clark is emotionally going through it coz his boyfriend kissed another guy. Even if that guy is technically him he's still mad and jealous of himself somehow coz even superman can't compete with Superman. He's not even sure whether or not to confronted Bruce about his affair since it keeps happening.
While he's trying to figure all this out Batman,of all people, kisses him. And he does it so casually. Sure, Clark had a crush on him for a while but he's over it now and he's in a committed relationship that he thought batman knew about. Now he's extra scared of confronting Bruce because he doesn't want it to look like he's just starting a fight so he can be with batman. And he's still hoping there's a way to work through this and for them to be together. He's being haunted by his moral code to just talk about this and get it over with but he's still afraid of losing Bruce and living in the shadow of the idolized version of himself again.
*Meanwhile in the batcave*
La la la Bruce, twirling around liking a fairy princess living his best life: my boyfriend's the best and every thing is perfect. Maybe world peace is real. Is this what happiness feels like?
The bat kids have tried giving him several rabies shots and an exorcism.
"Perception Check" -- Tom Cardy Lyrics:
On the horizon of this forest path, you see a group of dark cloaked figures slowly trudging towards you. What do you do? My half-orc barbarian braces her greathammer and- that's a one Critical fail. Steve, what do you do? Well, I believe in anticipation, my rogue would try and hide behind a tree- okay, I rolled a one That's another critical fail. Tom, what does your human bard do? Active Perception Check ...That's a natural 20 Let's fucking go
I feel it in my fingers I feel it in my toes These muthafuckas mean to harm us And they got to go So come on, get 'em now! You picked the wrong day to fuck around with my Tight crew There's no escaping it I can perceive you Here's what we're gonna do Me and ma boys gonna mess you up
I rolled a one I rolled a one
Fuck My boys are otherwise engaged So I'm gonna bring it all myself
Hey, I forgot, you're supposed to tell me what I see, right? Yes, thank you. Let's just slow it all down a bit. So, you notice that one of the hooded figures is a little shorter- I cast Vicious Mockery, nat 20, let's go
You're a short muthafucka And nobody likes you SHORT! Everybody says "Look how fucking short that guy is" And that stops you from forming meaningful relationships When you were born, everybody thought that you were just a head But then the doctor said "Wait, this stupid muthafuckin' tiny short ass baby got a tiny little itty bitty body and I hate it"
Your attack lands and absolutely shatters the mind of the cloaked figure. Perception check, please Nat 20, let's go! You perceive the figure was so short because it was a CHILD It's always a kid Specifically the child you've been looking for for the last 15 days game time and 5 days of our actual lives Okay, I'm sorry, I didn't know, I'll be better. His body's just lying there, right? Right? Yes...? Don't-
Loot that body Gotta loot that body now Loot that body! Gotta loot that muthafucka! Play my flute when I loot that dead kid's body Bitch
original version here:
Suffice to say: -Shadow and Tails likely took Maria dice shopping. -Tails is no longer allowed to play a bard again. -Shadow's going to have Silver DM next time.