Final Thoughts - Tumblr Posts

final thoughts: looking for stability n love within self requires a search like no other, oscillating between vibrant faith n despair is Not Fun, not wanting to go back to ignorance, but unsure of the path forward, understanding that vulnerability and love is the cornerstone to progress, but being unsure how to grow with this knowledge without an arena to apply it, moving tf on

tw: rambling, thoughts on life, avert your eyes if you wish

sometimes you are sixteen and you walk across three lanes of traffic boldly to save a woman's life

other times you are twenty three trapped in your head wondering if you are wasting your own

i have lost so much conviction in who i am and what i wanted in the pursuit of knowledge and clarity, and all that has turned up are questions without answers. but is that not just the way things have to be for me? to just continually be lost n confused till things just snap into place.

i miss it you know, the naivete of just picking a thing and chasing it. running as fast as i could, hurtling towards a foreign destination, undefined and unquestioning. i think even now i must be naive. with my feeble wavering faith that things will work out how they must. they have to. or else what is all this suffering for.

its also not lost on me that i have ended everything i write now with 'i love you. i miss you. thank you for coming back to yourself' and although m not sure who i am speaking to, it is true nonetheless.

My Thoughts on the Season Final

I know a lot of people are very hurt by how the season final has played out.

I myself am neurodivergent (ADHD), with diagnosed anxiety and depression, I am also pansexual. I was lucky enough to be brought up in a very loving and supportive family so have never quite felt the need for representation in media that I know others feel strongly. And there is nothing wrong with that.

I sympathise with the hurt everyone is feeling and definitely believe that the writers could have handled the whole situation much better. There are so many things that could have been done differently that would have saved a lot of people a lot of hurt.

But in saying that I also think the fandom needs to remember that in cases like this the writers usually have a long and intense consultation with the actor in question. I doubt that this was a decision that was made solely by the writers. I wouldn't be surprised if there was some background info about Jason that we aren't aware of yet that contributed to his decision to leave the show when he has.

Most importantly we need to remember that actors are human beings that have lives outside of the media we as an audience love and consume. That we need to acknowledge that they have families and sometimes family needs to come first.

Sum up

Tonight:

I’ve eaten my words 4 times

I was completely wrong about the traitor

I almost completed my Bingo card

I was kinda right about Dream

Interesting evening overall!