Eating Issues - Tumblr Posts
intrusive thoughts list
idk why I’m being so personal but I feel like I can trust yall (btw this is only some of the stuff, it gets way worse and more sexual ._.)
if any of y’all are mental health experts or have experience lmk cuz my mom says I’m not mentally ill (guaranteed she hasn’t seen the list)
so is this concerning or am I just being a teenager?
TW: LOTS OF SCARY WORDS, REFERENCES TO A (MILD) EATING DISORDER, SA, SH, MURDER, ETC ETC
carving out my heart and throwing it away
stabbing myself in the neck with a pen
someone hanging themself on a light pole and the blood going drip-drip-drip on our car window
being raped
being stalked (at least someone will finally want me)
our school getting shot up/bombed
dad & mom dying
bleeding out on the floor
dying of hunger
getting run over
killing someone and hiding the body in my closet (from a dream I had)
my entire body and vital organs being punctured by thousands of metal spikes
getting lost and being kidnapped
joining a cult
car accident
getting stabbed
self-harming
jumping off a bridge
not eating for 4 days straight
carving my breasts off with a chainsaw
creep watches me change thru the window, breaks in @ night
being kidnapped
running away
sex w people I know
cutting myself with scissors
Cuz I know you can only starve so much til you like how it feels
I'll try not to eat. I have been a whale for too long. Ate too much yesterday. Out of control, I have forgotten how delicious it is, when people compliment my losses of weight.
I need to hear "wow, you're so skinny" again. I need to hear "you lost some weight" again. I need them to look and be amazed by my small figure. I need it.
Headache and weakness are good signs. It's working.
Someone told me I have lost weight. I'm glad. I'll keep going until I can smile at my reflection in the mirror.
I want normal life so fucking bad, i don't want anxiety, depression, selfharm, eating disorder anymore. I have enough
