Daaaaamn - Tumblr Posts

a reminder for the next time a man calls you hot and you think that shit's romantic:

Dostoevsky once said "She tortures me, tortures me with her love... in the past it was only that infernal body of her's that tortured me, but now I've taken all her soul into my soul and through her I've become a man"

and Kafka once said "in a way, you are poetry material; you are full of cloudy subtleties I am willing to spend a lifetime figuring out. Words burst in your essence and you carry their dust in the pores of your ethereal individuality"

every time new official art of dazai w his hair tucked behind his ear drops an angel gets its wings

Any advice on how to figure out of ur a straight trans guy or a nb butch lesbian? Its weird cause when i dont feel like a guy, i want to be masculine but when i do feel like a guy, i want to be feminine. Its a weird paradox of never beening gender conforming and flowing between masculine femininity and feminine masculinty... Idk alot of these labels are white and exclude me as a two spirit person anyway but i wish i could just figure it out. Ive been like this for 4 years...

since i absolutely do not have the expertise to answer this, i asked people on the discord about it. here are their responses (distributed with permission):

note: this is the first time i’ve ever transcribed something, please let me know if it sucks

[image description: a conversation on discord between three users: Hal, james (it), and theodore. the text is as follows:

Hal: i wasn't ever quite in the same situation as this person (i generally always wanted to be masc & am also white and can't speak to other gender feelings they may have as a two spirit person), but in my case being a straight trans guy felt like an option i was Not Allowed to take, leaving me to sort of be doing mental gymnastics to figure out how to basically be a straight trans guy without calling it that or thinking of it as that. in my case letting myself go "im a het trans guy" let me build up a foundation that allowed for the more wobbly gender feelings to like.. Not make me worry that i've been wrong this whole time basically? like i do still have nonbinary gender feelings but i now have a foundation to understand them in, vs trying to pick without having any larger context to place them in going on T also helped because it was easier to more certainly cement myself as "okay, i experience dysphoria which is being helped by being on T" but that's not really something thats super easy to do in all cases, admittedly

james (it): u should ask if they Want to be a guy sounds more genderfluid 2 me u should also let them know being both is an option and there are more butch trans men than they probably think i mean i thought i was the only straightbian on earth until i found this server its alright to be both if they wanna be

Hal: yeah, theres a lot of people who are sort in the overlap between butch & trans dude for sure. knowing that that's a possibility is also really important, i think

theodore: the things that particularly pointed out to me where i stood were like (there’s a lot of internalized transphobia & some descriptions of homophobia in here so i’m gonna censor) [transcriber’s note: the following text by theodore was spoilered out in the original discord message, but has been revealed in the screenshot] • i was under the impression that being a lesbian would differentiate me from other women enough that people would Get that it was different for me. I stopped being able to live with it when I realized most people just saw me as a regular woman but with like, a mental illness or authority issues. (<-the “woman” part of this bothered me the most.) • i had a bad impression of other trans men and had been only exposed to really reductive explanations of gender from them and had to spend time around other trans men who Didn’t Suck for a while before I realized that complicated gender feelings weren’t, like, nb or woman exclusive and the fact that I thought about it didn’t exclude me from being a guy • if i’d been asked “would you rather be a very complicated man or a very complicated woman” i feel like the answer would’ve been clearer • + “do you feel like you Have to be feminine as a guy because you don’t want privilege from being a man or don’t want to be intimidating or is it just nicer for you to be a feminine guy” • also i know a lot of lesbian tumblr will deny this but it IS possible to be bigender and that’s okay

Hal: oh the second to last point theodore posted is a good one to consider as well, because exploring the feelings behind that may be very helpful]

welcome to hell ! may i offer you a seat?

I'm sorry but what kind of water is this mans drinking

There is a knock at Steve Harrington’s door.

Three to be exact.

Knock.

Knock.

Knock.

It’s nothing new. This happens every night. It doesn’t make it any less terrifying.

Steve gets out of bed and walks over to his apartment door, hands hovering over the handle. His body shakes, he feels too cold for a July evening.

Steve doesn’t bother looking out of the peephole. He knows there will be nothing to see. He hopes briefly it’s the awkward girl from down the hall, she always wears beat up converse and can hear her raspy laugh two doors down—but he knows it’s not. She often speeds by Steve’s apartment door, like she’s either terrified of him or what’s inside his home.

Knock.

Knock.

Knock.

Three knocks, three times. It’s only number two.

Steve wishes he knew more people here, but he hasn’t been here very long. So no one is looking for him, no one is here to wake him up at 3 am.

His palm sweat—but the chill hasn’t left him. He’s starting to think he’s haunted. Though nothing ever happens inside. Nothing happens at all, except the knocking. Steve never dares to open until it’s finished.

Knock.

Knock.

Knock.

Steve takes a deep breath, and opens the door….

No one is there.

Releasing a stuttering breath, Steve gently locks up and puts his head on then door.

“Fuck.” He whispers.

Then he hears, it from his bedroom.

Knock.

Knock.

Knock.

Steve’s let something inside.

No thoughts, just Death Eater Draco. 🫠

goddess...