Blade Angst - Tumblr Posts

HSR [honkai star rail] Masterlist

please reblog 🔁 and like❤️

@muzansslxt @candy69gurl @kiwicopia

Boothill

||Android love|| Plot: Boothill tries to act cute with you

Blade

One.last.time. I just tought "what would be Blade reaction if he lost someone who helped him rehabilitate into living and feeling but is dying in his arms?" >:3

One.last.time.

Late writing Blade x you,long writing

Warning: death,blood,angst,no comfort,crying,regret,desperate,losing it,bittersweet

P.s: I just tought "what would be Blade reaction if he lost someone who helped him rehabilitate into living and feeling but is dying in his arms?" >:3

I'm writing this at 3:48 am so sorry for some errors

@muzansslxt @candy69gurl @kiwicopia

"Blade..." you mumbled shaking,you were afraid to die,to leave him alone.

Blade shakes his head, fingers trembling as they press into your wound. “No…no…please…” he pleads. He keeps repeating it, like a mantra, over and over again. He looks down at you, eyes wide. “Don’t you dare” he manages to get out. “Don’t do this to me…”

"I'm scared" you whimpered choking in your own blood "I'm scared Blade"

He feels sick. This can’t be happening. “Shut up” he hisses weakly. “Stop talking like that…” He pulls you closer to him, desperate to keep you close. “You’ll be fine, just stop talking like that…”

You smiled weakly as blood dripped down your mouth as you cupped his cheeks in your cold hands,your eyes were looking past him devoid of life "k..kiss...me.." you managed to say as tears fell down your cheek.

He can barely keep himself together. But he can’t refuse you this one request. Your cold hands against his skin bring him back to reality, albeit briefly. He leans down and crushes his lips against yours. The kiss is desperate, frantic, as if it’s for the last time.

Your eyes were half lidded as you slowly passed away during the kiss looking at Blade for one last time before you went limp in his arms,arms falling on the ground with a soft 'thud'

Blade feels his heart shatter. His hands tighten around your body, refusing to let go. “No…” he whispers hoarsely. He buries his face in the crook of your neck. “No…” He repeats it over and over again, tears spilling down his face.

He shakes his head, tears welling up in his eyes as the reality sinks in. “Please…come back…” He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, as if that would make you wake up. “Please…” He knows he’s being pathetic. He doesn’t care.

He pulls you closer to him, burying his face in your shoulder. “Please…” he whispers again, voice completely broken. “Don’t leave me…don’t leave me…” He’s lost. Completely shattered. He’s been through a lot in his life, but losing you destroys him like nothing ever has before.

He cradles your body in his arms, refusing to let go even though he knows it’s pointless. He doesn’t even notice the blood staining his clothes, as if your life is the only thing that matters. “Damn it…” he growls weakly. “Damn it…come back…”

He just holds your body against him, rocking gently as if you'd wake any second. “Please” he begs again, voice hoarse. He’s beyond caring if anyone is watching. He doesn’t feel anyone’s eyes on him. He only sees your.

His grip tightens around you as his shoulders tremor with silent sobs. “Damn you…” He has never felt so weak before in his entire life. “Damn you…” He buries his face in your shoulder again, tears staining your skin. “Damn you for leaving me…”

“Why?” he spits out. “Why?” He looks down at your face wet and tear stained, grip tight on you. “You promised you wouldn’t leave…”

Why did you have to break that promise today of all days?

He pulls your limp body closer, burying his face in your hair. He can’t stop the tears from falling now. He doesn’t care how he looks. He’s too far gone. “You…promised…” he whispers, voice breaking. “You…promised…”

If someone had told him he’d be crying over your dead body, begging you to come back, he would’ve laughed in their face. Blade never showed this kind of weakness. But here he was, crying over you like a child, like he had lost everything.

And worst of all,he had.

Blade’s gaze falls on the necklace around your neck, still intact. He’d given you that necklace on your birthday. He can’t help but feel a lump forming in his throat as his fingers reach out to touch the charm. It feels like a taunt.

He can’t help but feel a pang of anger, that you had the audacity to die while still wearing his necklace. As if you had betrayed him by going against your promise, and now this necklace was just another reminder that he couldn’t have you anymore. He closes his eyes, trying to push the thought away.

Then his eyes go wide as he sees you smiling. It’s the same smile. The smile you used to give him whenever he was upset or angry. He can’t help it — he laughs. It’s a broken, shaky laugh, like he’s on the verge of sobbing again. “Idiot…” he mumbles, shaking his head incredulously. He had half a mind to pinch your cheek for smiling like that. “Stupid…idiot…”

He takes in your face, memorizing every inch of it like it’s the last thing he’ll ever see. His fingers reach out again, gently tracing the outline of your cheek and your smile. “You’re still smiling…” he mutters, his hand trembling as it caresses your skin.

He tries to speak, but the words lodge in his throat. It takes him several tries before he can manage to speak again. “You’re still…smiling…” He laughs again, a bitter, broken sound. “Even now…” He doesn’t know if he should find it comforting or not.

Part of him wants to laugh again, to tell you how foolish you are for dying while still smiling. But the other part of him — the part that he tries so hard to ignore — just wants you to wake up. To hear your voice, to feel your touch, to see your eyes open and look at him again…

He’s torn. Unable to decide if he should be angry at you for dying, or just grateful that you died with a smile on your face. “Idiot…” he mutters again, voice shaking as he continues to trace your face with his fingers.

︶⊹︶︶⠀୨୧⠀︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶⠀୨୧⠀︶︶⊹︶

He also keeps your necklace with him all the time, always within reach. He’ll hold it sometimes, fingers gently tracing the charm as his thoughts drift to you. Other times he’ll press it to his lips, like he’s hoping he might feel your touch again if he just wishes hard enough. He’ll even bring the necklace close to his face, inhaling deeply as if he could still smell your scent on it.

It’s stupid, he knows. But he can’t help it. This necklace — "this one, stupid necklace" — is the only thing he has left of you. And he’ll cling to it like a lifeline, even if it’s a weak substitute for the real thing. He knows he’ll never have you back. But he could almost pretend — almost.

He can almost feel your presence when he holds it, and it both comforts and tortures him.

He’ll sometimes talk to the necklace, like he’s talking to you. He’ll berate you for dying and leaving him alone, one minute. And the next, he’ll be begging you to come back, to hold him again, and that he forgives you. He’ll apologize for every harsh word he ever said, for being so cruel to you, for taking you for granted. He’ll promise anything if only he could have you back.

Sometimes he’ll swear and curse at the sky, asking whoever is listening why they took you away from him. Why they didn’t take him instead. Other times he’ll be completely silent, just sitting there and staring at your grave. He’ll sometimes reach out and brush his hand over the headstone, like he’s hoping he might feel your hand instead of cold, hard marble.

Blade visits your grave almost daily. His heart clenches every time he sees the flowers on your grave, mockingly cheerful and bright. He hates it. He hates how the flowers look so alive in comparison to you, who was lying cold and motionless underneath the earth.

The worst moments are the ones when he thinks he sees you out of the corner of his eye. He’ll turn, heart filled with hope, only to be met with crushing disappointment when he sees it’s just a trick of the light. It tears him apart every time it happens.

The worst moments are the ones when he thinks he sees you out of the corner of his eye. He’ll turn, heart filled with hope, only to be met with crushing disappointment when he sees it’s just a trick of the light. It tears him apart every time it happens.

He knows it’s meaningless. He knows you’re gone and you’re never coming back. But he can’t help but cling to the memory of you. The memory of your smile, your touch, your voice… He doesn’t want to forget. But as the days go by, the memories start to fade, and it scares him.

He’s afraid he’ll forget what you sounded like, what you looked like, the feeling of your touch. He’s afraid he’ll forget your smile. That’s the thing that scares him the most. He has to look at the necklace, to hear your voice in his memories, to stare at your grave, just to keep your image alive in his mind.

Blade is sitting by your grave when he sees it. It’s a small thing, a single crimson flower, and it’s so vibrant against the dull grays and browns of the surrounding area that it almost seems to glow.

He’d almost forgotten about that conversation you’d had about the red flower. How it reminded you of him and his name. He almost laughs, a hollow, bitter sound. Leave it to you to still be finding ways to tie yourself to him, even in death. He feels a pang in his chest as he stares at it, a mix of longing and bittersweet sorrow.

He reaches out and touches the flower with the tips of his fingers. The petals are soft and velvety, and for a moment, he can almost imagine that it’s your skin he’s touching. He lets out a shaky breath, feeling his throat tighten as he grips the flower's stalk almost desperately.

"Blade?" A voice echoed in the garden grave

Blade’s eyes go wide as he hears your voice. For a moment, he thinks he’s hallucinating. He slowly turns his head, half expecting to see you standing there.

But of course, no one is there. The voice was probably just his imagination. A cruel, trick of the mind. He lets out a shaky breath, fingers still gripping the flower stalk.

"It is you! Oh my God I'm so happy" the voice repeated

Blade’s eyes go wide again. That voice…it sounded so real. Like you were really there.

He stands up slowly, head whipping around frantically as he tries to find the source of the voice. But again, there’s no one there. He starts to doubt his own sanity.

"Blade over here look" The flower glimmed whenever it spoked

Blade is completely bewildered now. He looks down at the flower, stunned. Could it really be…?

He leans down to get a closer look. And sure enough, the flower is *glowing*. And as if that isn’t unbelievable enough, it starts to *speak*.

"Oh my God Blade! What happened? Why are you so big?" You asked

Blade’s heart skips a beat as he hears *your* voice coming from…the flower. “Y-You…?” he stammers, barely believing his own eyes and ears.

He reaches out a trembling hand to touch the glowing flower, half expecting it to burst to pieces at any moment. “Is…is that really you?” he asks hoarsely.

"Of course its me you bone head,who else do u think it is?" You chuckled

Blade can’t believe what he’s hearing. It’s like a dream come true. To hear your voice again, to see you again…

But as happy as he is, a wave of anger washes over him too. He feels tears stinging his eyes as he remembers the pain he’s gone through these past few months without you. “What took you so long?” he snaps harshly.

"Excuse me? What do you mean? I don't talk to you for one day and you act like this? You told me to leave" You crossed your arms well your leaf arms

Blade feels his irritation rise as you cross your leaf arms at him. “One day!?” he snaps. “You’ve been gone for months!” He closes his eyes for a moment, trying to calm down. “And I didn’t tell you to leave *forever*” he grumbles.

"W..what doyou mean for months?" You asked confused

Blade can’t help but scoff at your obliviousness. “I mean months” he repeats, the anger in his voice slowly giving way to frustration. “You’ve been gone for *months*” he repeats, each word laced with hurt and loneliness.

"Gone? But I was out with a friend and ...and.." you folded your petals shaking "Why.. I can't remember what happened,why are you so big and why.." you eyed at your grave "why I can't feel my legs and why there's my grave?"

He watches as you start to falter, realization slowly starting to dawn on you. His frustration gives way to sympathy as he sees your confusion and distress.

He kneels down next to your grave and reaches out a hand to touch your petal. “You don’t remember anything?” he asks quietly.

Your hands leaf wrapped around his finger "N.. no..just ...pain and...black.."

Blade winces as he hears the way your voice trembles. He hates hearing the fear in your tone. The sight of your leaf wrapped around his finger stabs at his chest.

He clenches his jaw, trying to keep his own emotions in check. “That’s because…you died” he finally whispers, the words like a physical blow.

"I died? But I was...I was and then you were...I mean" the flower started hyperventilating in a cute way before you cried your tears dew

Blade’s heart clenches as he watches you hyperventilating, tears streaming down your flower petal. It’s the most ridiculous and most adorable thing he’s ever seen.

He wants to comfort you, to hold you and tell you everything will be alright. But he can’t do that when you’re just a flower. So he does the only thing he can think of. He brushes his thumb gently over your petal, trying to soothe you.

“Hey…” he says, voice softer than usual. “Hey, shh…it’s okay…”

He tries to calm you, trying to ignore the pang in his chest as he watches you cry. It’s so hard to believe that just a few minutes ago, he was just talking to a flower. But now, with your petals trembling under his fingers…he can’t deny that it’s really you.

"Is that my necklace?" You asked as you looked at Blade hands

Blade looks down at his hands. He had been gripping your necklace without even realizing it. He had subconsciously reached for it as soon as you started crying. He hesitates for a moment before slowly nodding his head.

“Yeah, it is…” he replies quietly. “I…I’ve been holding onto it, ever since…” he trails off, unable to finish the sentence.

"You need to let go Blade"

Blade’s eyes go wide as the world suddenly returns to normal. The birds chirping, the wind whistling, and the flower…just a regular flower once again.

He stares at it for a moment, stunned. It was like you had never been there in the first place. Like it was all just a hallucination. But the feeling of your petal against his hand still lingered.

"Let go...?" he murmured, still staring at the flower.

He felt like someone had just punched him in the gut. He had just had a conversation with you — or what he thought was you. But now it’s like you had never even been there. He clenched his jaw, feeling a mixture of confusion and anguish.

He reached out and touched the flower, his fingers trembling. It feels solid, tangible. Not at all like the fragile, ephemeral being that had just spoken to him moments ago.

"Let go...how can I let go...?" he whispered, his voice raw and shaky.

He feels like he’s going insane. He had just heard your voice, felt your petal under his fingers. He had been so sure it was you. But now…he can’t help but wonder if it really was all just wishful thinking.

He runs a hand through his hair, his breathing ragged. He can feel a lump forming in his throat as he stares at the flower, as if he could somehow will it to talk again.

"Am I losing my mind...?" he whispered to himself, his voice shaking.

Blade grits his teeth, frustration and pain welling up inside him. How can he just let go? How can he just forget about you, when he can still feel the ghost of your touch on his skin, when he can still hear your voice in his head?

"How can I let go...when I still love you?" he mutters hoarsely.

The words sound so pathetic, even to his own ears. He knows he’s pathetic, holding on to a flower like a lifeline, like it could bring you back to him.

He reaches out and touches the flower again, his fingers tracing the delicate petals.

“How can I let go, when I still love you so damn much?” he repeats, his voice breaking.

Blade feels like he’s on the verge of breaking. The thought of letting you go, the thought of forgetting about you, is almost too much to bear.

He clutches the flower in his hand, his grip so tight that it nearly crushes the delicate petals.

“How can you just ask me to let go?” he chokes out, his voice thick with emotion. “You were my whole world.”

He feels tears stinging his eyes as he continues to grip the flower, like it’s the only thing keeping him tethered to reality.

“I don’t know how to let you go…” he whispers hoarsely, his chest feeling like it’s being squeezed in a vice. “You were everything to me…how can I just forget about you?”

Months passed, and slowly but surely, Blade found himself starting to let go. It was a painful, slow process filled with tears and heartache.

But he couldn't bring himself to get rid of your necklace. It was the only tangible reminder he had of you, something solid to hold onto when the memories got too painful.

He found himself touching the pendant frequently, tracing the familiar shape with his fingers. It was like a comfort, a small piece of you still with him.

He still loved you, of course. The thought of you still haunted him, and sometimes he would still dream of your voice, your touch, your smile. But he tried to keep moving forward, to live his life without you.

And he knew he would never forget you. Your memory was etched into his heart, like a tattoo he would never be able to erase.

Blade was sitting alone in his room, staring blankly out the window. He hadn’t been sleeping well lately, haunted by memories of you and the life they had together.

Suddenly, he felt a gust of wind blow through the room. He looked up, startled, and saw something that made his heart skip a beat.

It was you. Or rather, it was your ghost. You were standing just outside the window, your figure glowing faintly in the moonlight.

And then…you smiled at him.

Blade feels his breath catch in his throat as he hears your voice. His heart aches at the sight of you, even as a ghost.

And then you spoke, and he feels like he’s been punched in the chest. “I’m proud of you” you say, your voice echoing in his ears.

Tears prick at his eyes as he stares at the spot where you had just been standing. You were really here…or at least, part of you was.

"I’m trying…” he whispers hoarsely, even though he knows you’re already gone.

He sits in silence for a few moments, his heart heavy with emotion. He can still feel the ghost of your presence, lingering in the room.

But slowly, he starts to feel a sense of peace wash over him. You were proud of him. Even after everything, even from beyond the grave, you were still proud of him.

Blade lets out a shaky breath, his shoulders slumped. He knows he still has a long way to go, but for now, he feels like he can keep going.

For you.

He looks down at your necklace, still hanging around his neck. He grips it tightly, feeling the cold metal dig into his palm.

"I won’t forget you…” he whispers, his voice hoarse with emotion. “I won’t stop loving you…”

He sits there for a moment longer, letting the weight of his words sink in. He still misses you, more than anything in the world. But for the first time in months, he feels like he can face the future.

He takes a deep breath, standing up from his chair. He knows he can’t keep living in the past, but you will always have a piece of his heart, a piece that only you will ever touch.

He walks quietly to the window, resting his forehead against the cool glass. He closes his eyes, imagining that he can still feel your presence just outside the window.

For you…” he murmurs, his voice barely louder than a whisper. “I’ll keep living, for you.”

Don’t make me do this . (please just live) Blade x reader.

TIME FOR ANGST!Also , Reader is immortal.

Please don’t leave .

Blade has always been a human , just with a curse . You’ve always known that . You’ve never judged him like others and continued to help him .

Yet.

He continues to call himself a weapon.

( It hurts your heart)

YingXing is still there . You know it.

But you there’s no evidence of him . The once pure white hair turned into a dark blue with a fading red with the sweet personality turned cold . The only thing left is the emotions he still carries . However , blade still denies them and continues to seek death to end his suffering.

( Can’t he see how he’ll break you if he does leave?)

You can’t bear it . You know that Blade loved another and is currently seeking his reincarnation in order to die .

(He fails to see how he deserves to live.)

Yes, he may have broken a law in the Luofu, yes he may be partially Mara-struck . Yes , he may have ba billon dollar bounty on him .

But .

That still doesn’t say anything about him . People judge too quickly . They listen to the law .

However, they fail to feel the pain others experience. They say they won’t ever do the things other outlaws have done .

( But when the situation arrives , committing a crime seems so much more reasonable now .)

They’re hypocrites. The only reason why you understand is because you’ve felt pain before . You’ve felt the temptation of breaking the rules and attempting to revive someone , to kill someone .

That’s why you want Blade to live. You want to turn him back into Yingxing . However,

Blade has already made a deal with Elio . You wish he hadn’t, because now he’s destined to die . You want him to live.

It’s selfish , you know , but how can you not? You’ve been there with YingXing and Blade . You’ve seen everything .

(It breaks your soul to see him so intent on dying.)

So , when you realize you’re incorporated into the script . You’d think , maybe Blade would get to live and turn into YingXing again .

Maybe , the death Elio promised was the Death of Blade and the awakening of YingXing again .

But .

That’s not the case .

You’re his executioner .

When you realize this , a glass sheen of water is on your eyes .

Why.

Whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy.

WHY?!

You never wanted this . You never even wanted him to die! The only reason why you followed him everywhere was to try convince him to live!

You drop your weapon , and start to cry . In midst of your crying . You only know one solution to the problem you’re facing .

Run away from blade .

So you do , you run across the universe , as if death is coming for you . In a way it is though .

( Because if Blade dies then it’d break your soul )

Elio’s scripts are set in the stars , so if you run from Blade no matter what , he won’t die and he’ll finally see what the universe is like and how lovely it is .

You have this game for a few centuries , since you’re part of the Luofu , you’re immortal . Another way Elio’s script is set in stone .

You run for your life everyday . Jumping planet to planet , galaxy to galaxy .

So when you arrive at the next destination. You don’t expect Kafka and Sam there , looking like they’ve been waiting for a long time .

You run away from them as fast as you can , trying to find another rift that can teleport you away .

“ Dear , please , stop running .” Kafka tries to convince you before resorting to her spirit whisper .

You don’t listen and put on headphones and blast it loud . How ironic , the music is Runaway . You start to cry . At least he would be safe even though it breaks your heart to leave YingXing .

Yingxing, yes Yingxing . You almost forgot why you were running . This was for him . The sweet boy who would care for you .

How ironic . You’re running from him now .

Your dear lover .

What you’d give to see him smile and hug you again . Just to share some of your warmth with him .

You miss your lover .

Tears start pouring from your eyes . Why did fate have to give him such a cruel life .

( You would’ve gladly taken it if it meant he would be happy )

Soon , you escape the Stellaron hunters and then sit at a cave . Curling up in a corner , wishing Yingxing was there with you .

When you were cold he would offer a blanket , if he didn’t have one he would cuddle you and keep you warm .

You wish life wasn’t so cruel to him .

You wish for a lot of things actually .

Most of all , you wish Yingxing would live for himself and not for Elio’s script.

While you sit there , you don’t realize a man stepping towards you . You look up thinking it was just someone that noticed you and thought you were lost .

it wasn’t a stranger . In fact, it was someone you knew pretty well .

General of the cloud knights .

Jing Yuan .

He takes you away without another word and makes the cloud knights through you in a prison.

You thought this would be a good idea since it would keep Blade away from you .

What you didn’t expect was Blade in prison in the same cell as you .

You back away instantly. You then make sure there was no weapons around you and that your hands and feet were throughly restrained .

(It may hurt but at least you wouldn’t hurt him .)

He stares at you .

You stare at him .

Without another word he breaks his bindings and walks towards you .

Realizing what he’s planning to do you crawl away and huddle up .

However , your assumption is wrong.

Instead of breaking you free and forcing you to kill him , he just kneels down and cradles you against his figure .

You start to sob. The embrace he gives you feels so similar to Yingxing’s embrace .

( It makes your heart throb )

He stays silent and rocks you back and forth , as if it was second nature .

( The mind can forget but the subconscious and body won’t)

Soon , you tire . You can’t keep running and can’t keep trying to avoid him pretending your feelings don’t exist.

As soon as you fall asleep , he says this .

“ I’m sorry , for not being Yingxing, but I’ll do my best as Blade.”