Ahahaha - Tumblr Posts
Reddit just discovered color theory
Why does he remind me of Yoshi from Mario and a bird?
How can I take chapter 298 seriously when the doctor looks like this
You can’t have this cake but I offer many other things that are just as delightful, note though, not all of them are meant for eating. Feel free to take a look through my emporium.
bpd things
money? yeah, you’re gonna spend it all on useless things like excessive amounts of food and clothes in hope of making yourself feel better. then you’ll regret it five minutes later
you hate yet love everyone and everything. hate. love. hate. love. it’s a never ending, exhausting cycle of intense emotions. there’s no in between
someone doesn’t respond to your message in ten minutes? it’s time to make dramatic assumptions. do they suddenly hate you? are they dead?
you’re slightly inconvenienced? it’s time to commit suicide
all your relationships fail and you just can’t seem to figure out why
you feel like everyone is the same. you see the same pattern over and over again in your relationships and your friends
you feel happy for once? well guess what, in about seven minutes you’ll feel like throwing yourself into traffic because Johnny didn’t want to share his pencil with you
nothing is worse than the overbearing feeling of emptiness that follows you daily and haunts you like a ghost
you’re constantly angry. just the idea of someone breathing in your vicinity is infuriating
baths? did you mean: self-harm hours?
everyone is against you including yourself
who is that in the mirror? is that me? Why do I look like that? I can’t recognize myself
i’m sorry, what did you say? repeat yourself again. and again. sorry, i didn’t hear you. again. repeat yourself for the fifth time, i wasn’t paying attention i guess
you’re useless unless you’re perfect
therapy? no
oh, is that a character I relate to? let me obsess over them for the next nine months
you’re the most evil and horrible person you know, yet simultaneously the most pure and naïve person you know
you feel like the devil when you say no to someone
how about I split on my best friend for the eighth time today for absolutely no reason!
am I abusive? am I like my abusers?
they said something that seemed weird to me… are they going to leave me? Is this the end? Is this all there is? Should I leave them? Maybe I’ll just disappear
you hardly remember anything from before the age of 10
nothing is real. we’re all going to die. nothing matters.
maybe if I get high I won’t overthink everything!
may i please request a soft dom!felix smut plssss
Warning: smut below! mdni.
The clock on the wall across from you emits soft ticking noises as the second hand makes its rounds, almost like it, too, is counting down to the minute Felix is home. It’s just another Friday, no special occasion in your shared apartment with him, but you’ve undoubtedly had one of the worst weeks ever. Every day at work was absolute hell, and it feels like the only thing keeping you going is exactly this moment- getting to spend time with your boyfriend, in your bed, on a Friday night with absolutely no commitments.
As you flip past another page in your book, you glance up at the clock for the upteenth time tonight- 8pm. Felix is usually home no later than 6 on Fridays, and you know he said he might be late, but the stress of waiting around coupled with your sour mood is starting to get to you now.
“Hey,” Felix says into the receiver when you finally call him. “Everything okay?”
“Hi baby,” you respond, your voice a little shaky. You want to ask him straight up to just drop everything and come home, but you don’t want to come off as overbearing either, knowing he’s out with friends tonight.
“Everything’s okay,” you continue. “I just miss you.”
“Well I miss you, too,” Felix replies in a hushed tone, likely having stepped away from his friends to speak to you. “Give me an hour and I’ll be home, yeah?”
And you want to say no, because in an hour, you’ll probably be asleep. Which wouldn’t be a problem, if you weren’t hoping Felix could fuck the stress away first. It’s all you’ve been thinking about since you woke up this morning- Felix having his way with you to ease some of the stress. But unfortunately for you, it looks like this will just be one more thing that won’t go your way.
“Yeah,” you say finally, sighing a little into the line. “I’ll see you in an hour.”
*
You’re practically dozing off when Felix finally gets home, curled up on your side in bed, your book laid upside down on the white duvet to bookmark your spot. You don’t even hear the jingle of Felix’s keys when he enters the apartment, only noticing he’s home when his figure is looming right over you.
“Hi, baby,” Felix says with a smile, reaching down to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.
“Hi,” you respond, still half-asleep and disoriented. “What time is it?”
“It’s just past 10,” he responds, pulling off his leather jacket and slinging it over the desk chair across your bed. “We lost track of time. I’m sorry.”
You hum in response, your eyes still open and scanning the dimly-lit room as he undresses for the night. He pulls off his jeans now, only in his black boxers and a white t-shirt as he gathers his clothes and puts them away.
“I had the worst week,” you voice to him, keeping your gaze locked on the pillow across from you.
“Yeah?” Felix inquires, disappearing into the bathroom momentarily and returning with a toothbrush hanging lazily out of his mouth.
“Why’s that?” He then asks, brushing his teeth in rushed back and forth motions as he sits on the edge of the bed. His hands toy with the socks on your feet, pulling them further up your ankles and adjusting them as he waits for you to answer.
“Just projects. And my boss. I’m so tired.”
“Well,” Felix says, pulling the toothbrush out of his mouth to speak. “It’s Friday, so I don’t want you worrying about it anymore.”
He rises from the bed, disappearing into the bathroom once again as you hear the faucet begin to run. And you don’t want to worry about it either, but the stress of inadequacy still circles your mind, consuming every moment you’re awake and making it hard to relax like you want to.
When Felix returns, you remain in your catatonic state, gaze locked on the pillow across from you and a silence present in the room.
“Hey,” Felix says, finally taking note of your state. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“No,” you reply quickly, sighing as he climbs into bed beside you and wraps two hands around your waist. His groin presses into your backside, making you gasp a little at the contact when you remember how badly you wanted to feel him against you like this mere hours ago.
He doesn’t say anything, realizing how bothered you seem, instead opting to press little kisses down the column of your neck.
“Want me to help make it better?” Felix asks, his voice low and his tone intentional. He continues placing chaste kisses down your neck, tilting your jaw to one side with his slender fingers so he has better access to your throat.
“Yeah,” you mumble in response, instinctively arching back into his touch when he presses himself a little harder into you, making sure you feel every inch of his now fully-hard erection.
“Yeah?” Felix inquires with a little smile. “Does my baby want me to make it all better?”
“Mhm,” you hum back in a sleepy tone, too tired to engage in much more than whimpered responses.
“I suppose I can do that,” he responds, tilting your face toward him now to meet your gaze.
“Are you gonna kiss me?” He asks with a smile, and you let him press his lips to yours, gliding his tongue along your bottom lip and darting in between your parted lips.
Your limbs feel languid, overrun with exhaustion and still in a half-state of sleep, but your body aches for him, to let him fuck away the stress and let your mind be overrun with whispers of sweet nothings. As Felix’s kisses turn more eager, his leg hoists over you so that he’s spooning you a little closer now, reaching one hand down between your tangled bodies and slipping into your panties. You’re already wet for him, like you have been all day, from pressing your thighs together and fantasizing about having him all over you like this. And Felix can tell when his fingers graze your entrance, smiling into the kiss and circling your sensitive bundle of nerves with the pads of his fingers.
“Have you been wet for me all day?” Felix asks, trailing kisses down the side of your neck as you gasp in his touch.
“Yes,” you voice quietly, shutting your eyes in pleasure as his fingers move a little faster now, the pads of his fingers coming down to graze your entrance and then moving back up to your clit.
“You poor thing,” Felix replies in a pitied tone. “I would’ve come home sooner if I knew.”
“Mhm,” is all you can say back to him, now rocking your hips against his hand like you’re riding him, reaching one hand back to tangle in his hair as his lips remain latched on your throat.
Your hand pushes him further into you, almost serving as an invitation to kiss you harder, with more force, and he does exactly that, taking the tender flesh of your neck between his teeth and sucking. You moan at the sensation, his deep hums along your skin sending chills down your spine as he sucks purple bruises down to the crook of your shoulder.
His fingers swipe back and forth from your entrance to your clit, picking up the pace as he kisses you rougher now, and you can feel his erection straining against your thigh now, desperate for some attention.
“Felix,” you moan, arching your eyebrows up in pleasure as he now inserts two fingers into your entrance, fucking you at a faster pace and panting into your ear.
“What is it, baby?” He breathes into your ear, peppering the shell of your ear in hot, breathless kisses. “Talk to me, baby. What is it you want?”
“Want- mmh! Want you to fuck me,” you manage to stutter, staving off your orgasm so that you don’t finish before he’s had a chance to fuck you.
“You want me to fuck you?” Felix echoes, smiling against your skin. “Want me to fill you up with my cock?”
“Yes, please,” you say, moaning when he hits a particularly sensitive spot.
You hear him pull his boxers down behind you, one hand reaching down to pump his cock a few times as he positions you on your side.
“So good for me baby, asking so nicely. You know I always give you what you want when you ask nicely.”
You nod in his touch, gasping when you feel him press his hardened cock against you and graze the tip along your entrance.
“Relax for me, okay?” Felix says, before he slides the tip in just an inch and groans at your cunt clenching around him. “Gonna fuck away all your stress. Just let me take care of it.”
And as he finishes his words, he pushes a little deeper, your pussy contracting desperately as you adjust to his size and take him whole. His hand grazes along your ass, giving a light squeeze before he pushes in even deeper and finally buries his cock to the hilt. You’re completely breathless, words leaving your mouth as all you can feel is the stretch of your entrance around his cock, desperately pulsing around his girth and waiting for him to move. He doesn’t move for a moment, his own lips parted and eyebrows up arched at the sensation, as he adjusts his cock inside of you and feels his tip kiss your cervix lightly. One of his hands reaches back down to graze your ass, lifting your leg up a little so that he has better access to your cunt from this angle. And you gasp at the change of positions, eager for him to begin thrusting.
“Felix,” you whine, arching into him as he hits a new spot.
“I know, baby,” he says, pressing a small kiss to the top of your spine. “Doing so good, taking my cock like this. Gonna move for you now.”
And he finally does as he promises, pulling back to thrust into you, hard, the sound of skin slapping filling the room around you. His following thrusts are slower than the initial one, taking the time to pump into your sopping cunt at a steady pace as little moans escape your lips. Felix locks his gaze on his own cock momentarily, groaning as he watches it pull out and then pump back into you in its entirety, filling you up completely and earning a fervent moan as you adjust with every movement. His motions are slow, but intentional, making sure you feel every inch of him to let your worries dissipate. And you do, your mind running completely blank as he fucks you full with his his veiny length and muses at the way you moan for him.
“Say my name,” Felix says, pulling out and teasing your entrance with his tip again.
“Felix,” you breathe in reply, gripping his forearm as if begging him to put it back in.
“Louder,” he says, now snaking a hand around your throat and letting his lips graze yours. “Who’s fucking you, baby? Who’s making you feel this good?”
“Felix,” you whimper again, getting louder as his hips begin to move at a faster pace. “Felix, Felix…” you chant, saying his name over and over again between pornographic moans.
“That’s my girl,” Felix responds, swirling his tongue around yours and thrusting even faster. Your pussy is dripping with arousal now, sore from his thrusts and desperate to finish for him.
“Will you cum for me?” He asks, pressing a series of kisses to your neck and taking your already bruised flesh between his teeth again. “Want you to finish first, baby. Make a mess on my cock, yeah? Just relax. Forget about everything.”
And you can hardly respond to him, your eyes rolled to the back of your head as he grips your throat a little tighter and picks up his thrusts, the lewd slapping noises probably a clear indication to your neighbors that he’s indeed home for the night.
“Cum for me,” Felix repeats, angling your face to look at him. “Cum all over my cock, baby. Look so beautiful taking me like this. God, I want you to make a mess on me. Want your pussy to let go for me.”
And with a few more hard thrusts, you finally feel your walls contract around him, a wave of pleasure washing over you as you gush your arousal all over his still-hard cock. As you come down from your high, Felix feels his near, thrusting your juices back into you as he grips your throat and finally fucks you through his orgasm, spilling his seed into you and keeping it there for a few moments.
“God, I love when you squirt for me,” Felix says, pulling you back into him for a sloppy kiss. “Good girl.”
When you’ve successfully changed out your sheets for clean ones, Felix beckons you to lay down again, spooning against you and peppering your face in soft kisses.
“Feeling better?” He asks sweetly, and you can hardly remember what had you so bothered in the first place.
“Mhm,” you say again, the same wave of sleepiness from earlier washing over you.
“Next time I’ll be home sooner,” Felix says as he buries his face in the crook of your neck. “Wanna fuck your stress away all the time.”
And though you both laugh at his words, they do ring true, your intimate sessions with Felix always serving as the best form of stress relief.
Please chat, I need to talk to people
Reblog this If you want People to spam your ask boxes(not spam but send in a bunch of asks)
People seemed to like the vid of her jumping for food so here's a compilation of my betta Bug being silly and getting the hang of jumping
Your stripper name is sexy + last thing you googled
Since I began tagging my posts and reblogs with comments about them, compliments, facts or opinions I cannot remember how it was before I started doing it
And I honestly think I will never stop
Tags are a part of my life now
I have become
oͤͦ̑͏̝̻N̈e̮ͬ̓ͬ̋̓̃̎ ̣͔̮͉ͧ̔̓͑wͪ̽͗͐ͩḭ̥̟̖̎̉ͩ͋̽͂̾T͒ͤ̓̈̓̄ͧH͇̟̤̺̹̗̞ͯ ̨͗ͬ̚ͅt̬̝ͦ͘H̪̻͖̋̾e̢ͯ͛̐͋̐ ͎̅͊̊t̫͈̘͔A͚͖̝̗͖̺͠gS҉͕̱̮̦
Imagine being beaten by a child and a fox :)
I had to do a project and Machiavellanism and my teacher was like “how do u know so much about Nicollo Machiavelli” and I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I learned 90% of the info from a book series where an unmistakably gay Machiavelli flirts with a 18th century cowboy and knows magic and fights a giant crab
given the news we heard on phil’s stream today, i took it upon myself to make an updated family tree
Tmagp theory: Jon and Martin are actually fine and are living a normal life somewhere, unaware that their voices got deepfaked by Microsoft
you can tell a lot about someone based on their phone background. it shows what’s most important to them
Allright so
I tried STARFIELD, yeah? Didn’t care for it.
Then I thought “Hey, maybe I’ll give NO MAN’S SKY a chance!”
And bruh, it is *hard* to rip myself away from it. It scratches a couple different parts of my brain at once, and I really enjoy it.
April Prompts Day 7 - river
Featuring Bella and Nyx @pagesofcursive character
What are you doing?” The words were slow and cold. Bella jumped out of her skin, shoving the half-finished gadget into a pocket. It tinkled as it bumped against loose screws.
Trying to cover her surprise, she asked, “I’m assuming you used your powers to sneak up on me.” Her brain teased her with just-out-of-reach knowledge; she knew this girl, knew she was somehow related to someone she was acquainted with, but her tired mind couldn’t quite make the connection. The only thing that clicked was that she had dark powers.
“Yes, and no,” the reply still echoed from one of the far corners of the room. “You wouldn’t have been able to see me if you tried, but I didn’t try to conceal my footsteps - you were very involved with whatever it is you’re doing. Also, you didn’t answer my question. What. Are. You. Doing.”
“I, uh, practicing my powers?” She cursed silently to herself. It was important to make these kinds of statements actually sound like statements. Allowing nervousness to turn defenses into questions allowed for weaknesses to be exploited, arguments to be deconstructed, and her entire facade could come crumbling down. She rubbed the bridge of her nose, unseen by the girl behind her. She needed sleep, her thoughts were turning to an unhealthy place faster than normal. Practicing with her ice during the day and pushing herself to her limits, creating new but simple inventions, at night took a toll on her.
The girl drawled, “So the glint I saw from across the room was ice, then?”
Bella swallowed the lump in her throat, trying to steady her voice. “Yes.”
“Can I see?” Footsteps approached and Bella glanced up to see a flash of blonde in the faint strip of moonlight. Her eyes widened in realization. Nyx, her dormmate’s cousin.
Hastily, Bella’s fingers twitched as she tried to summon so much as a flake. Frost covered her fingers, and the dew on the windowsill froze into delicate shapes. Her breath solidified into a mist as the temperature in the immediate vicinity of her plummeted. Biting her tongue, she tried to gain enough control to slow the unpredictable spread. Employing a psychological tactic she’d read about, she attempted to redirect her focus instead of simply taking it away from her nervousness. She took her bottle from between her legs and poured a bead of water into her hand. Concentrating, she formed it into a simple gear, finer than paper and almost as big as her palm. It wasn’t difficult, nor was it functional, but it was better than nothing. Footsteps stopped by her right side. Discreetly, Bella shifted the cup of washers and screws so it was concealed by her legs.
“So let's see?”
Her fluctuating emotions caused her to snap, “Why do you even care? What about my business concerns you?”
“Touchy. You know, from my experience, people who are this defensive have something to hide.” Nyx crossed behind Bella. Noticing too late, Bella cringed inside as Nyx’s foot knocked the cup, letting out a stream of metal. “That doesn’t look like ice.”
Rage and frustration simmered. “Maybe it’s not, but how would you know that I wasn’t using those for other things. You’ve seen my tracks? I need something to base it on. I was… studying them.”
“That seems like a pretty poor imitation,” Nyx pointed out, tilting her head toward the gear that sat unmelted on Bella’s cold leg. “Have you got anything else you’re ‘studying’?” Nyx’s hands didn’t move from her sides. She strode over to a cupboard, and Bella scrambled up to shadow her. “You wouldn’t mind if I look in here, would you.”
“Sure,” Bella ground her teeth together, “why not?”
A disorganized river of miniature screws, linchpins, circuit boards, and old tech - phones, tablets, laptops, and everything in-between - streamed out. Bella flinched minutely.
“You know this isn’t allowed?” Nyx was unreadable.
Bella rolled her eyes, knowing her fate was set no matter what she said. “Obviously. Why do you think I lied? I was working on this.” She pulled out the gadget, its sides loose and wires sticking out.
Nyx stood and walked over. She took it from Bella’s open palm, examining it. “You know,” she said, dropping it back into Bella’s waiting hand, “If you want to continue to do this, you’d have to get better at hiding your little… hobby. Do you know what would happen if someone found out about this?”
Bella raised her eyebrows in response. Duh.
“Here,” Nyx knelt on the ground and patted beside her. “I’ve done my share of dirty work. You’re going to need some pointers.”
Hahaha all of our futures