Hi... I'm New... I'm So Nervous, But It's Twelve Forty In The Morning, And I Am Feeling Confident? What's

Hi... I'm new... I'm so nervous, but It's twelve forty in the morning, and I am feeling confident? What's that about? Well, I just wanted to let people know that I'm here! Hi! Welcome!

I like to write, so that's what this account is. Probably mostly fanfiction. I like writing readers specifically. And I recently watched the SAW movies, which were amazing, highly recommend. But I kinda fell in love with Adam Faulkner so... I'll be writing about him. But please excuse me for any delays. I have social anxiety, so working up courage will be hard. But I will still do it.

BTW I'm nervous AF, right now, but I am just doing it, otherwise I would never have done it. So, yeah... Please enjoy my stuff... which doesn't exist yet, so... good luck... :)

Coffee Date - Adam Stanheight / Reader

A/N this story was inspired by the song Here With Me by Marshmello. Lol I know I'm old school...

It had been a year since the tragic events of Jigsaw. Adam Faulkner Stanheight was recovering decently, at least it appeared. There were less nightmares occurring, and almost no more mental breaks. But this didn’t make life any easier. Your feelings for each other were one of the biggest problems to be resolved, if only one of you could start the conversation.

It was a quiet, misty, Saturday morning, as you waited in the cafe for Adam. He had agreed to meet for coffee at eleven. You were on time, and it didn’t surprise you to see that Adam was late. What did surprise you was how late Adam wasn’t. He could have been ten minutes late, or maybe even five, but not today. He was only one minute late, and that didn’t seem like it was that bad to you, though it was a first.

Adam walked through the double doors smoothly, the wind blowing his flannel back and whipping his hair into his eyes. The sunlight was behind him at an angle, casting shadow over the entire front of his body.

You shifted in your seat to gaze at him. He went striding confidently over to the counter, put his elbow on it casually, and ordered something quietly, then looked around the room.

His dark, searching eyes found yours and he pushed himself away from the counter, to you.

You spun your stool around to face him. You looked up into Adam’s face timidly. Adam was a very nice guy, who didn’t give a fuck about opinions or whatever you were like on the inside, but some how you got all shy around him anyway.

Adam’s air of boldness seemed very natural, like he didn’t have to think about it at all. But his demeanor always changed whenever he was near you. You weren’t sure the reason for it… or perhaps you didn’t want to be sure.

The barista called his name, and he went to retrieve his coffee. You hadn’t ordered anything; all you wanted was some quality time with Adam.

Faulkner sat across from you, and tipped his coffee to you. “Greetings,” he said formally.

Heart beating and lungs collapsing, you felt an adrenaline rush. Just hearing his voice made you enlightened. You felt like ANYTHING was possible!

You nodded respectfully back. “Greetings.”

He gazed out the window. “It’s a beautiful day for a walk.”

You shuddered. “No. Too cold.”

Adam fixed his eyes on you. “So, how’s the morning going for you? I heard there was traffic on the way.”

“Oh yeah,” you huffed. “Road work. How ‘bout you?”

“Tired. Was up ‘til three producing pictures. I think they turned out pretty good.”

There was delight on his face, as he thought about last night. That smile on his face was perfect. You loved seeing it. Sighing happily, you put your cheek in your hand. “I’m sorry it’s been so long. Family business got in the way. But I’m glad we could see each other today,” you informed him.

“Ah, the damn family!” Adam exclaimed sarcastically. “You gotta watch out for them.” He bopped your nose.

You laughed, Adam seemed thrilled by that. He smiled at you in amusement. “But I do suppose they aren’t that bad,” he added, and took a sip of his coffee.

He examined you while you gazed out the foggy window. You were aware of his gaze traveling down you, but you WANTED him to do it. You lifted up your arms a little bit so that he could get a really good view of your side profile. It was working.

“Sooo,” you drawled slowly. “Any exciting plans for next week?”

Adam stirred his coffee gently, and said, “I was thinking about getting coffee on Saturday.”

You raised an eyebrow at him. “That’s specific. Why are you planning things a week in advance?”

“I want to go with someone.” He looked directly into your eyes.

“Oh…” Your heart sank into your stomach. “Do I know them?”

“I’d hope so,” Adam replied wittily. “It’d be pretty hard to do anything if you didn’t know them.”

“Who are you talking about? My guardian angel?” You shot back.

Adam smirked. “Not your guardian angel. Mine.”

“Huh?” You asked dumbly.

Adam gave you a disbelieving glance, as if to say ‘are you shitting me?’

In a nicer tone, he asked blatantly, with a hint of sarcasm, “Will you get coffee with me on Saturday, dumbass?”

Your eyes stretched wide as the breath was knocked from your body. You gaped at him. “W-What? You’re not serious.”

“Hey,” Adam suddenly changed the subject.

Fuck, you realized miserably. My chance is gone! I should have just said yes! Now how do I tell him I want to go? It’s his time, so it’d look inconsiderate, if I asked to JOIN him during his weekend.

But then on the other hand, if I don’t bring it up he might think I’m not interested. Maybe he’ll ask SOMEONE ELSE!? But what do I do?

Adam nudged you in the ribs softly with his elbow. “ ‘Can I tell you somethin’ just between you and me’,” he sang clumsily.

You chuckled, confused. “Marshmello?”

Adam shrugged, and pointed to the ceiling. “What? I’m not the radio station.”

You realized then that it was the song playing above. “Oh. Yeah, I guess I’m not really observant,” you mocked yourself self-consciously.

Adam didn’t like that. “Not funny. You are observant. And smart. And beautiful. And that’s why this song is PERFECT for us.”

You stared at him. Adam had a good voice for singing, but he always dismissed it self-consciously. “How so?”

“ ‘When I hear your voice I know I’m finally free’,” Adam said with a smile. Slowly, he got up from the chair he was sitting in, and made his way over to you. “ ‘Every single word is perfect as it can be. And I need you here with me’.” He straddled you, and you leaned into the chairback.

You pushed Adam back embarrassedly. “Stop,” you grumbled.

“Come on, sing the next part.”

“No. Not with everybody here.”

“Hurry up. You’ll miss the line!” He insisted.

Before you knew it, you had the words out of your mouth in an instant. “ ‘When you lift me up, I know that I’ll never fall’.”

Adam brushed a hand through your hair. You loved the tingles it gave you. “A-Adam-”

“-What? Does that feel good?” Stanheight interrupted. “I know it does.”

Alarmed, you asked, “Wait, but…How-”

“-Didn’t have to know. I just… knew you liked it.” You blinked at him in astonishment, but before you could say anything, he added, “I’m way too cool, you can say it.”

“ ‘I can speak to you by sayin’ nothing at all’.” You thought it was appropriate to finish the lyrics. “ ‘Every single time I find it harder to breathe. ‘Cause I need you here with me. Everyday’…”

Adam leaned in, and started singing along with you. “ ‘You’re saying the words that I want you to say. There’s a pain in my heart and it won’t go away. Now I know I’m fallin’ in deep. ‘Cause I need you here with me’.”

You grinned at him. “What are you doing?” You asked him eventually.

“What do you mean? I’m falling in love. That’s what I'm doing.”

“ ‘F-Falling in love’? With who?” You stammered incapably. You were unable to believe your ears.

“With you,” Adam told you softly.

You narrowed your eyes. “What are you on about?”

Adam only tilted his head at you in disbelief. “ ‘I think I see your face in every place that I go’.” He winked at you. “ ‘I try to hide it but I know that it’s gonna show’.” He gave you a worried glance and an apathetic shrug. “ ‘Every single night I find it harder to sleep. ‘Cause I need you here with me’.” He lifted your hand up to his lips, and looked at you over your knuckles. You got goosebumps. “ ‘Everyday’.”

Extreme embarrassment flooded you, you didn’t know where to look except for back into Adam’s eyes. You forced yourself to sing with him, but it was only out of nervousness more than anything else. “ ‘You’re sayin’ the words that I want you to say. There’s a pain in my heart and it won’t go away. Now I know I’m fallin’ in deep.‘Cause I need you here with me’.”

“There you go,” Adam whispered quietly, a small smile of approval on his face. “Now you’re getting it.”

You gritted your teeth and glanced at your lap. You laughed awkwardly. “I’m just… singing ‘cause you are… It’s not like… I would be usually, or anything…”

“I like it.” Adam cast a glance at your lips briefly, and you felt your heart start up. Excitement sparked in your stomach, and rushed through your brain as Adam leaned in close. He pulled his fingers through your fingers.

The cool air coming from an open window helped you to concentrate on the situation. You were burning up from the blood rush. You focused on the smells of chocolate and coffee in the background, and tried not to think about how close you were to Adam Stanheight.

Adam brushed his thumb across the back of your hand slowly. You gasped and looked back at him. “What were you thinking of, off in dream land? Whatever it was, it got you really far from here… From me.”

“S-Sorry,” you mumbled.

Adam only leaned back, and said calmly, “ ‘Can I tell you somethin’ just between you and me’?” His voice was low and seductive. “Can I? Would you allow that of me?”

You squirmed underneath him. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I?”

“I’m really, really… fond of you…” His warm breath slunk past your sensitive lips.

You squeaked. “Really?”

“Really.”

“Woah,” you breathed. “W-What do I even-”

Adam continued on as if nothing had happened, interrupting you casually, but not rudely. “ ‘When I hear your voice, I know I’m finally free. Every single word is perfect as it can be’.”

“ ‘And I need you here with me’,” you finished his sentence carefully.

“What about that date?” Adam asked you after a little while of silence.

Excitement rushed you. You couldn’t believe he was asking again! “Yes!” You blurted; you were not about to lose this opportunity. You put all the emotion you could into your voice. “I’ll be there!”

Adam stood up then, leaving you feeling sweaty and nervous. And not to mention, a cold place on your thighs. “So,” he said. “You have a friend coming over tonight?”

“Uh…” you stared at the table. “I was supposed to but they canceled at the last second. How did you know that?”

“I overheard,” Adam shrugged. “But I was hoping you’d come over to my place tonight.”

“I don’t think I should. I don’t want to bother you, you know…” you stumbled over your words hastily.

Adam put his arms over his chest, and looked at you condescendingly, with one eyebrow raised and glint in his eyes. “I need you here with me,” he repeated seriously.

You scrambled to your feet. “Alright. I’ll go. I’m excited.”

Adam took your hips and pulled you close. His breath was drifting past you, making you fidgety. Ominously, and very enticingly, he whispered into your ready ear, “Oh, I’d sure hope so, Y/N.”

Laser Tag - Adam Stanheight / Submissive Reader

A/N there was a prompt online that inspired this. I wanted to write two, one with a sub reader and one with a dom reader. Both are written and finished, but the dominant one will be posted tmrw to give this one some time to be seen first. Thank you and please enjoy.

-

You stood in the dark room tensely. The band around your head was tight, the watch around your wrist was itchy, and the laser gun was heavy in your hands. Nervousness was churning in your stomach. You were playing a game of laser tag with Adam Stanheight. It seemed a little odd, though. Instead of asking him out, you just sorta… took him here…

You had never been good with words. You simply said, “Let's play laser tag,” and proceeded to take him to the nearest game. He was very comfortable with this. He was also the kind of person that easily went-with-the-flow. You weren’t even sure what brought up the subject of laser tag, all you knew was that you were here right now.

“So, the headband displays your lives to other players, and lets you know when you’ve been shot.” you muttered to yourself. “The watch displays your lives to yourself. And the laser gun is for… shooting… obviously…”

Though you were here with your boyfriend, you still felt self-conscious. You could be competitive sometimes and you aimed to win this match of laser tag. Through your anxiety, you had some sort of bravery. You were pretty sure you could win against him, but you would have to be clever. You would have to be careful. There was nothing stopping you from winning though.

The air felt chilly, and smelled musty. The long, tinted, windows at the top of the walls shed some light into the arena. Everything was dim inside and you could barely make out the looming walls ahead of you. You took a deep breath and then walked into the room.

The ceiling peaked high above you, making the arena look larger. It was just you and Adam playing. Somehow he had managed to convince the owner to let you get a private game. You were thankful for that because it meant that you wouldn’t have anyone else to judge you. Not to mention, you would have Adam all to yourself, and there would be no competitors.

You rounded one of the corners, holding the laser up, searching the darkness for movement. There was nothing that you could see, and you flounced into the hallway. You were isolated, but you felt like you were being watched. Adam was so perfect at everything, you didn’t doubt that he was watching.

You walked to the end, which was split into a T. Halfheartedly, you turned left, staying close to the wall. Your boyfriend was somewhere in here, but it disconcerted you that you couldn’t see him. Being away from Adam made you feel slightly concerned. You wanted to be as close to him as possible just for the reassurance that you were not alone. However you knew that for the purpose of the game you were supposed to stay away from each other.

Now you could see half walls surrounding yourself in a semicircle, with a wide open entrance leading back into the arena. The arena was oval shaped and stretched far, far, out of your vision. There were a few half walls spread throughout the arena. You hung back nervously, scanning the darkness.

I can win this, you told yourself firmly. I just have to sneak up. How the hell am I going to do that? I have a boyfriend who’s paranoia is as sensitive as a bat’s hearing.

You crept out of the cover of your hideout, and spun around dizzily, trying to catch everything in the corners. Nothing spoke out to you, but this was a giant arena, seeing as it was supposed to hold ten people and not two.

A shuffle was heard to the right, and you spun around. No one else was here, so that meant Adam was close by, right? Unsatisfyingly - and very anticlimactically - you felt the headband buzz once. You grunted, as you saw a light flicker off on your watch. Now it was showing two red lights, not three.

Shit. I’ve been shot! You couldn’t believe someone was shooting at you. Where the hell was Adam? He was the only person capable of doing so when there wasn’t anyone else in the room. I still have two lives left though.

As if on cue, there was another buzz, and then another light flashed off on the watch. You stared at your wrist in disappointment, then looked around. On a platform, standing rigidly, with a laser gun pointed steadily at you, was your beloved boyfriend. He appeared smug and relaxed. He tried to shoot again but you sidestepped. In a huff, you said, “How was that fair?”

Adam leapt down majestically, landing on his feet amazingly. You gaped at him in awe. “Want to finish face to face?”

“I was going to win…” You mumbled sadly.

Adam stared at you, then raised his hands above his head. “You still can.”

“But I don’t want you to LET me win.”

Adam raised an eyebrow at you, lowering his hands back down. “You mean, like how you let me win?”

“I didn’t LET you win,” you snapped. “You snuck up on me… Which I was trying to do…”

Adam scoffed. “Right. You were trying to sneak up on YOURSELF?”

“N-No. I meant I was sneaking up on YOU,” you gasped, flustered.

Adam looked at you, unimpressed. “Cute.”

You glared at him indignantly, and raised up your laser. You aimed and shot. Adam let you shoot him. His headband flashed, and then only two lives were remaining. You scowled at him. “This isn’t what I had in mind when I suggested we play laser tag.”

Adam leaned in, so that his nose was practically touching yours. “What did you have in mind? That I waltz right into your line of sight? Clearly we know who DOES do that.”

You gazed down. “I had no way of knowing you were there.”

Adam lifted your head up with his pointer finger. “Don’t feel bad, Y/N. It’s just a game. We can play another one when we get home…” he winked at you, backing away. “You can win that one…”

You felt warm at his words. They held a slight… excitement…

You looked into his eyes shyly, grumbling. “But… that’s not fair, Adam…”

“Let’s see if you can last, then. Can you take the rest of my lives? I could win this game perfectly well right now.”

You squeaked, holding up your laser gun. Your hands were shaking, causing the front of your gun to be unsteady. Carefully, you thought.

Nervously, you adjusted your aim on the gun. You missed Adam only because he dodged. It was his turn, and you felt your heart sink. He was totally going to destroy you. He had lined up a good shot, though you had made a point to sit down behind one of the half walls. Hopefully it would be harder for him to hit you if you were behind something.

You crawled to the left of the wall, Adam would be looking at the right side. You lined up a shot, and took it. Adam’s headband flashed wildly.

Adam turned towards you instinctively. He fired a shot at you, but you ducked, and rolled to the side. You waited a moment, before leaping up and firing at Adam. Your laser beam sliced across the air, but didn’t quite connect with Adam. You saw Adam aiming a shot to your left, and you waited for the last second to dive into one of the hallways. You started crawling silently on your hands and knees, trying to navigate your way around the black corridor.

Two to two… I can do this! We both have one life remaining now.

You crept slowly up the hallway, until you had to face Adam again. You had followed the hall up onto a platform. Adam was waiting at the bottom, he was trying to keep tabs on you, but you had outsmarted him this time. He was spinning clumsily in the middle of the arena. The corridor continued again at the other side of the platform, which was open to the arena. You would have to run for it.

“That was well played, Y/N. I’ve lost you.” There was an amused tone in Adam’s voice.

You stayed there quietly, hiding from your boyfriend. You knew he was faster than you, so you didn’t want to reveal yourself too quickly, but Adam was making his way up the stairs on the other side of you. You didn’t have long before he found you, at that point you would be defeated. Hastily, you made a beeline across the platform, your shoes alerting Adam to yourself.

He stopped, turned around, and stayed on the ground. There was a series of rapid fire between the two of you for a few moments. Adam kept nearly getting hits off you, but you would dodge them narrowly by jumping or rolling. No matter how hard you tried, all your shots never quite made it close to hitting him. You were unhappy with this state of affairs. Your heart was hammering at the end.

Neither of you made a hit, and Adam ended up disappearing into a dark hall, much to your confusion.

“Adam! Where are you going?” You called out. You sat down behind the wall, and stared after him, keeping watch of the arena. You were not dumb enough to follow him. That would just lead to an instant loss. But Adam didn’t return to the main arena. You were baffled. What was he doing? The fight was being held right here.

The arena remained empty for a long time. You started to get impatient, and restless. You were half tempted to leap down and reveal yourself just so you could see Adam again. But the other half wanted to stay put. You were going to win this battle. You were, not Adam!

I can do this, you thought confidently. If I try hard enough.

But the longer you waited the more unnerved you became. Adam wouldn’t leave you like that, would he? What the hell was happening right now? You were playing a game of laser tag, not Hide’n’Seek!

Gloomily, you turned back around. “Adam?” You called out quietly. “Adam, did you leave me?”

As you turned, you heard Adam say from right behind you, “Hi, baby.” Your hair stood on end, and you raised your hands up. Adam gave you a flirtatious smile, and you melted. “Look where I’ve got you.”

You hummed out happily.

“And don’t even think about that. I would never leave you all alone. Come one, baby, you’re smarter than that.”

Adam leaned his head down to yours and you sank down, trying to get out of the heat. But Adam kissed you roughly on your lips. You pushed your elbows into the hard metal ground, and leaned up to him. His lips were warm and soft. He wasn’t kissing you all that hard; he knew how to get you worked up. You moaned into his mouth desperately. Adam shoved you further into the metal floor, overpowering you entirely. You dropped your weapon, and wrapped your arms around his neck. “Adam…” you mumbled around his lips. Adam pulled away just as it was getting intense. He liked doing that.

“Hmm? You like this?”

You nodded weakly from underneath him.

Adam looked at your form, then grinned at you. “Why don’t we finish this at home?”

You pulled Adam down. “No… Keep going…”

Adam frowned at you in disapproval. “I’m sorry, Y/N, but does this laser tag arena look like our bedroom to you?”

You whimpered, getting the point that he was making.

Adam kissed you again. He caressed your cheek with his free hand, then took the gun with his other. You felt him place the point of his laser gun onto your chest, and you flattened yourself to the floor. This was it. This was how you lost.

Your headband buzzed and your watch flashed out. You groaned as Adam pulled away. Your mouth tingled with the feeling of his mouth on yours, and your body could feel his weight on top of you. You stared dizzily at Adam as he walked away.

You huffed, and staggered to your feet, tripping after your boyfriend. Adam was already out the door, and you followed him slowly. You handed your laser tag gear to the man waiting at the door. You could see the monitors on the wall, overlooking the arena. The security guard had a look of disgust on his face, but he didn’t complain to you as you left the room. He’d had to watch that.

Adam was outside, waiting. He scooped you up immediately as you came out. You looked at him dishearteningly, wrapping your legs around his waist. “What?” You asked timidly. You were very disappointed with the results of this laser tag game.

“You played really well in there,” Adam complimented seductively.

You blushed, and looked away. You didn’t know where he was going with this. “Thank you?”

Adam seemed to like your shyness. He nuzzled your nose with his. “Want to play another game when we get home?”

His breath drifted across your face, and you couldn’t look at him. “What… What kind of game?” You inquired apprehensively.

“You don’t need to ask THAT,” Adam purred softly. “You can win this one, easy.”

“What game, Adam?”

“Come with me,” Adam said casually, nodding his head towards the car.

Your heart fluttered at his words, and you finally started to get the message. His way of being vague to get his point across was so hot… “Oh, Adam… you don’t mean it like THAT?”

Adam lifted his mouth to your ear. “Try me,” he whispered playfully.

You shivered. This man knew how to play with your feelings. Fuck! “L-Let’s go home.”

Adam narrowed his eyes on you. “Be good for me, okay?” He commanded you enticingly. “And you can win this time.”

You struggled in Adam’s grasp, feeling dirty. “Okay. Okay…”

Adam dropped you to your feet, and guided you back to the car. He was whispering things in your ear, and it made you feel good.

What’s going to happen at home? You wondered. Adam was driving this time, and you looked over at him. His hands were on the steering wheel, and his face was calm as he took you home. The later events that were coming up were not meant for outdoors. But you did not discover this until Adam was ushering you into the bedroom, and closing the door behind himself. While no more details could be supplied, there was one thing that could be assumed: You were definitely the one being dominated, and Adam wouldn’t have it any other way.

When Nobody's Around - Adam Stanheight / Reader

A/N. There was a clip of the song 'Better' by Khalid on TikTok, and that inspired this story. Anyway, continue.

It was dark in the area, December twenty-fourth. The wind howled loudly as it whipped through the tree branches and sent snow spraying everywhere. The air was freezing cold, and the ground was icy. Even snow boots couldn't dull the slip from anyone who tried to walk on it. It was difficult not to tense up against the chill, or even not to zip up the jacket around one's shoulders, but no matter what you did you just couldn't get warm. You kept your head bent and plowed on through the snow. The coffee in your Starbucks cup made your palms hot, but you liked it that way; you didn't like the cold anyway. Adam Stanheight was following closely behind you, along with your best friend. You guys had a mixed friendship, or so it seemed. You knew what you had with your bff, you didn't need to question it. But your relationship with Adam was quite another thing entirely, it dissatisfied you, dismayed you. Often times he'd play off his flirting to be nothing more than jokes, and it hurt you a little. His mixed signals were confusing you. You clutched your tote bag closer and sped up your speed. Getting home was your biggest priority right now; you felt so flustered being around Adam. It made your heart beat faster and your stomach swim chaotically.

In your head you knew there was something there, or at least you wished there was, but you couldn't stop yourself from feeling it. You rounded the corner very urgently. You were in the lead, Adam and your friend had been talking earlier about politics, you didn't want to discuss that. But unfortunately for you, your friend called out to you. "What's your opinion?"

You, who had not been listening, turned around slowly and looked at them dumbly. You could not remember what they had been talking about before. "I wasn't paying attention," you admitted.

"Oh, come on. I was asking-"

"-No, no," you interrupted. "Right now I have other things to worry about than what side of the political spectrum you are on. I'd like to keep our friendship strong before Christmas, then we can ruin it."

"Fine. Then at least tell me this. What side of the 'romantic relationship' are you on? You know, with..." Your bff elbowed Adam in the ribs.

Adam made a face. " 'Romantic relationship'?" He repeated skeptically. "What the fuck are you on about?"

You turned back around and started to cross the street, your heart heavy. The light, which was blurred by the snowy fog, changed red suddenly, and you were pulled back by a strong force. It wasn't like you could have saved yourself, but you did appreciate the thoughtfulness. Not to mention, there weren't any moving vehicles out right now to plow you over, so it didn't really matter. "Thanks," you mumbled, and pulled your arm out of their grasp, you expected it to be your friend.

"Hey. Where are you going?" The voice sounded right behind you. It was quiet and soothing; it sent chills up your spine; like it always did. Apparently the political conversation was over now.

"A-Adam..." you gasped. "I... wasn't expecting you to be there."

"No?" Adam pressed up against your side. "You seem cold. Mind if I warm you up?"

You gagged, feeling embarrassed, and tried to get away, but Adam held you close. "Where are you going?" He asked again.

Your best friend came up to you. "Yeah. No romantic relationship here. What's up love-birds?"

Adam released you. "Tch," he scoffed. "What are you talking about? We're just friends. Can't I care for my friends?"

You stared at him miserably. "Christmas at my house?" You asked, changing the subject.

Your friends looked at you cluelessly. "Oh sure," your bff agreed. "I won't have to rearrange any plans if we go to your house."

"You live in the same place," you muttered.

"That's the point..." your friend grimaced.

Adam had fallen behind you both while you discussed this. He seemed quiet now, and lost in thought. You wondered what he was thinking about. You wished he was talking with you again. You wished he would try snuggling again.

The discussion wasn't a long one, and it ended right as you reached the other side of the road. "So, Adam," you hummed out quietly. "You need anyone to help with baking? I know you said you would like it if someone came over tomorrow morning."

"Only one someone..." Adam winked at you, and laughed. "In all honesty, I just want the company. It gets lonely over there."

"So... No baking?"

"What would you guys be baking?" (Bff's name) asked. "Not like Adam is having anyone over. Not like he CAN. Everyone would be falling on their asses."

Adam muttered something under his breath, then spoke up, "No, you're right. I... will do the baking myself." He chuckled. "That is, if I stop taking pictures of it first."

"You're not planning on doing any baking, are you?" You realized.

"I... was? Actually."

"Pffft." Your best friend sounded dubious.

You yourself were a little doubtful too, but you had the sense to shut up about it. You blew out a breath, which made your bangs fly into the air.

"You look kinda cute when you do that," Adam commented and held your hand lightly.

You blushed, waiting for his infamous 'jk' or stupid reasoning as to why he was 'pretending to flirt' with you, but it never came. You exchanged glances with you friend, but alas Adam caught it, and let go. "I should really stop doing that, shouldn't I?"

You huffed. "I... like it..." You said inaudibly.

Adam had heard you, but he chose not to respond. He started talking about the snow instead.

Fuck, you thought.

Faulkner walked you both to your condo, and held the door open. You were the first inside, but didn't get too far. Adam called you back as your best friend stalked past you to the stairs. You fell back and leaned against him. What was going to happen now? Adam got all cozy with you when you guys were alone, and now that your friend had left, you wondered what was going to happen. "Hey, Y/N?" He looked directly into your eyes. He never flinched or gazed away, but his body language said he was nervous.

You felt obliged to ease his stress. "Yeah? Are you cold, why don't you come in for a minute and warm up?"

"No," Adam said boldly. "I... just wanted to..." He looked away finally. Your heart nearly stopped in anticipation. "Well, you see... I've been thinking about this for a while. Ever since October."

You stared at him silently, hoping he wasn't psyching you up just to joke with you again. "What is it?" You asked in irritation. "Are you playing with me again?"

"What do you mean by that?" Adam didn't seem to understand that you were referring to his 'fake flirting.' Honestly, sometimes you thought that he was completely unaware that he did it. Or maybe he simply pretended to be innocent?

"I'm not kidding around right now, I'm being serious. Here's the deal. I-I wanted Christmas at my place, if that's alright with you. I don't mind if you bring

(Bff's name,) But... Yeah."

Your stomach felt hollow after hearing that. Whatever you had been expecting was entirely not up for debate. You were simply 'friend-zoned', at least it felt like it. You thought about his words for a short moment, then stared at him questioningly. "Will your apartment be clean enough?" It was a joke, but not really. Adam was notorious for have a messy living quarters.

"Haha," Adam said sarcastically. "I cleaned it yesterday... well enough, that is..."

You nodded halfheartedly, still feeling disappointed. "Sure. I'll tell (Bff's name,) the change of plans."

"Yeah," Adam agreed.

It was awkward after that. Adam stayed in the doorway, and you kept the door open. Neither of you knew what to say after that, but you didn't have the heart to close the door and leave him there. It was so intense that you could feel heat rising to face in the cold forty degree (Fahrenheit) weather. Snow was starting to fill up the inside. "I guess you should go?" You didn't want to be rude, but asking it instead of saying it didn't help the bluntness of the sentence.

"Um..." Adam shrugged. "I was wondering something else..."

You looked at Adam in disbelief. In the fifteen minutes standing in the cold, he didn't think to bring this up? "Well, alright then. Any time would be... perfect." You noticed for the first time, how fidgety he had become. You'd never seen him like that before. Something else was on his mind, you knew him well enough to know that. "Go on," you encouraged.

"Why don't you come to my place for the night?" Adam asked unexpectedly. He got straight to the point, you liked that. He added clumsily, "Unless... Uh, you're busy... in the morning? I understand, you know. Of course I understand. Um... Y-Yeah, I just- I wanted to make sure you knew the invitation was there."

You smiled shyly. Having Adam stumbled over his words was a little bit cute. And then you realized what he had actually asked you. Wait a minute!? This couldn't be real! Stay the night with Adam Faulkner Stanheight!? Who could turn THAT down? Not Y/N. Definitely not Y/N. "Okay," you agreed politely, suddenly feeling self-conscious. You ran your hands over your clothes quickly, trying to smooth them out. But Adam didn't care about the wrinkles in your shirt, he just wanted you with him. He pulled you outside again, the chill biting you immediately. You huddled up next to him, trying to get warm.

Maybe this time it would be different? Maybe he'd snuggle with you?

But Adam was not as observant to his surroundings. He led you to his car, which was parked beside the road.

"What's with the car, Adam? We live close enough, you know," you joked.

Your companion only scowled at you as he snapped, "I was at a client's house when you called. And I decided not to leave the car here on the way home."

You sat down in the passenger's seat happily. Adam, of course, took the driver's seat, and as he started up the car the radio blasted you guys unexpectedly, hollowing out each one of your ears. Instead of turning it off, Adam just turned it down. He seemed much more laid back now that it was just the two of you.

In the silence, however, you were able to pick up what song was currently playing. It was Better by Khalid, and this surprised you. You didn't usually listen to this artist very much, but the radio seemed to love playing this song in particular. You hadn't been expecting it to come on while you were in Adam's car though.

Due to the quietness you could hear the words now. You'd never really listened to them before, but now that you could hear them, you felt suspicious.

"Say we're just friends, but I swear, when nobody's around. You keep my hand around your neck, we connect, are you feeling it now?-"

Adam rolled down a window suddenly, cutting off the next part.

You raised an eyebrow, thinking to yourself. Why the hell am I relating to this song so much? No wait, an even better question is, why would it come on the radio when I'm in the car with Adam? It doesn't add up right.

Almost instinctually, you asked, "D-Did you do this on purpose?" You hadn't meant to blurt it out. In fact you usually were pretty good about thinking about what you were going to say or do before actually performing it. This was a rare scenario.

Humiliation engulfed you as soon as the words left your mouth. You rolled your window down hurriedly, trying to act like you hadn't spoken. It was all for naught.

"What?" Adam asked dully.

"I-uh..." you stammered for a minute, then quickly regained yourself. "Yeah. I was just wondering if you chose the song, or if it was the radio?"

"Why would I have chosen it?" Adam sounded confused. "There would be no reason for me to choose it."

"oh... You're right..." You stared out the window and let the wind blow into your face. It was cold but you didn't say it out loud. You did wonder though, how Stanheight managed to live through it. It was so cold it felt like it was burning your skin off. You closed the window again.

Adam pulled to a stop in front of his apartment. "Don't mind the neighbors," he warned. "They don't like newcomers."

"I know. We've had this discussion before."

"I know," Adam said regretfully. "But... I just... like to remind you."

As you both shuffled into Adam's apartment, you gazed at the floor. He told you he'd cleaned up yesterday, and it showed. The normal empty boxes, or bits of laundry, had been taken care of, as well as the large stacks of photographs laying around the place. Adam was nothing if not passionate about his job, and that made you happy. It still amazed you to be able to see the wooden floor beneath your feet, and you desperately tried not to notice the counter, on top of which was an ashtray, which was piled with cigarette ends. The scent of cigarette smoke was thick, definitely fresh, but... you didn't mind it really.

Well, that was a lie. You did mind it, a lot. But that was the thing, that smell reminded you of Adam, so... you didn't mind it THAT much. Come to think of it, having the scent of smoke remind you of someone was probably not a good thing. Not for you or Adam. In fact, Adam probably had it worse. Imagine hearing someone say that the scent of smoke reminded them of you. That didn't seem like a positive thing to hear.

You shuddered at the thought.

"Come sit down over here," Adam said from the couch. "Sorry about the... Everything... I did try to keep the windows open but... it was way too damn cold. And I guess I couldn't stop... If you know what I mean?"

You did. You could understand completely.

Gently, you sat next to Adam, crossing your legs over each other delicately. It was warm in here, or was it Adam's body heat? You were sitting so close to him it was hard to tell. "I'm glad you came over," he said nervously. "You know... It's kinda stupid, but I only said I wanted your help with baking 'cause I didn't know how to invite you."

You smiled at him. "That's sweet. I would have done the same thing," you reassured Adam.

Adam slowly wrapped an arm around your shoulders. In a low tone, he said, "I didn't get you anything for Christmas. I'm sorry, I... Well, I mostly didn't know what kind of things you liked and didn't like."

"It's okay," you said. "I wasn't planning on having Christmas here until my parents' flight got canceled."

"So, you didn't get me anything either?" Adam's voice held some relief.

"Well, no," you tried to disappoint gently. You knew how it felt when you realized you weren't the only one who had done something a certain way. It was very reassuring. Maybe a bit too reassuring. You didn't want to crush his bubble so violently, but there wasn't any way to say it softly. At least, not one that came to mind. "I actually did think of something."

"Oh?" Adam didn't seem bothered, that was good. "What is it?"

You scoffed. "Like I'd tell you. You have to wait."

You had baked everyone some cookies this morning. That's what you were going to give your friends for Christmas. It was the first thing that came to your mind last second.

Adam leaned away from you hesitantly. "Well, there might be something that I thought of, too, but... I don't know... I guess I got scared..." He glanced at a nearby clock, and shrugged. "Is one fifteen AM close enough to Christmas?"

"I don't know," you said honestly. "I'd say, at least six AM."

"Fuck that," Adam exclaimed. "I... don't think I can wait any longer." He laughed nervously. It lasted for so long that you started to wonder if you had missed the joke.

"I'm sorry," you sighed. "I don't think... I follow."

Adam stared at the floor. "No, I'm sorry, that was unnecessary. I just got... scared?"

You narrowed your eyebrows sympathetically. "What is it, Adam?"

"Well... Will you be my significant other? The time we spend together means a lot, not to mention I enjoy your company a lot, too. Our dates have been nice... I know I should have asked you long ago, but... I don't know... I couldn't get up the courage..."

You smiled, but it was only out of uncomfortableness rather than actual happiness. You had no idea if he was playing with you or being honest with you. "Uh... Heh. You're joking, aren't you?"

"No," Adam gasped. He looked flabbergasted. "Why... What makes you ask that? I wouldn't joke about something like this."

Oh, right, you thought dryly. Just everything else about our relationship.

Out loud you said quickly, "Nothing." You regretted doubting yourself. It just made this situation very embarrassing. You felt the need to clarify your answer now. You didn't want to leave Adam hanging after such a significant question. "Well, Adam. The answer to your question is yes! I thought you were never gonna ask me. Well, actually, I thought you were bullshitting me the entire time."

"I didn't go about it the right way," Adam admitted. "That's my fault." He pulled you down so that your head was on his lap, and started to comb his fingers through your hair. "Merry Christmas, Y/N," he murmured. "That's my gift to you."

You inhaled deeply, feeling a strong wave of affection flood you. You had no idea anyone could feel so much emotion at once. It awed you. Gazing at the ceiling you felt your heart swell up. It beat in your chest heavily, loudly, nervously, but you felt soothed at the same time. And in this exact moment, you had good feelings. Maybe it was too soon to tell, however something in your gut told you that you were going to have a long, successful, future with Adam. "Wow," you hummed out quietly. "Christmas is going to be a hell-of-a-lot different this year." Adam didn't stop brushing your hair. You yawned and smiled. "But I can't wait for it."

Figmentary Feelings - Adam Stanheight / Reader

A/N Another one of Melanie Martinez’s songs, called Haunted, inspired this. Omg, I think I need help with this addiction.

Spirals spun in the walls, the air smelled smokey, the atmosphere was crisp, and the scenery was foggy. You sat in Adam’s apartment dazedly, not fully awake, and tried to solve the crossword puzzle that was displayed on your phone. You had found three words.

It had been a month since you had gotten proper sleep. Tiredness tugged at your eyes, but you kept them open. You didn’t want to sleep, but you were lucky; you couldn’t sleep - not anymore.

Adam Faulkner Stanheight was supposed to come home four weeks ago. The newspapers had announced him dead two weeks ago, but you didn’t want to believe it. Adam’s belongings were still situated in their proper places, it was as if he was still here. There couldn’t have been a way that he wasn’t ALIVE anymore. You refused to believe it.

But alas, four weeks was a long time. Adam still hadn’t come home, something that occurs when a person dies, the evidence couldn’t have been more clear.

You ignored the bright lights flashing in your eyes, or the ringing in your ears, and focused on finding the next word. It was ‘lightbulb,’ and you discovered this after about twenty failed attempts.

You put the phone in your pocket. You had a visitor coming over today. You didn’t know who it was, the landlady only said you had someone coming over. You wondered why the said ‘visitor’ hadn’t given you a heads up on their supposed arrival.

You got to your feet numbly. Immediately you spotted the black couch in the living room, and your heart sank low. You could remember when you would watch horror movies with Adam on Friday nights. You could remember when you would come home and find Adam smoking a cigarette after a shitty day ATTEMPTING to take good pictures of his clients but his camera’s lens had been dusty or misty, making it difficult. This was a common case.

There were also the moments when you would find yourselves laughing and joking with one another on the couch. Sometimes it would lead to tickling, other times it would lead to making-out. The mood decided it.

You turned harshly, hearing Adam’s voice in your ears. You flinched, but you could hear his words so clearly, so… real. You groaned in agony. “I love you.” But your words were met with silence.

You turned around and made for the kitchen, but this was also a bad idea. Adam’s presence was here, too. You could sense him standing by the oven, leaning on it with his back, and gazing at you while you tied an apron around your waist and walked over. There were many times when you would bake together. Adam had never liked cooking or baking but he seemed to have fun when he was with you.

Usually you made pies or cakes, but sometimes you would make dinner together. Those were the best nights. It was always inspired by the thought that you would play a game together. You had plenty of cards and boards in the gaming cabinet, it was more thrilling to cook dinner together first though. It helped to ripen the mood.

Right now you swore you could almost smell a baking pumpkin pie, but you knew that couldn’t be true. The oven was off, and you hadn’t gone to the store in at least two weeks.

You left the kitchen then, hurriedly, and headed for the bedroom. It was dark, and though most of your time spent here was sleeping, you still got a lot of memories. Memories you would have preferred to have left untouched. This was not because they were bad memories. In fact every memory you had with Adam was beautiful, even the bad ones, but that only spelled out the problem. You didn’t want to remember them because they were good, way too fucking good. And you couldn’t stand that.

The first thing that came to your mind was the time when you got locked out of the bedroom. The lights were off, and all you had was the sunlight shining in from the living room window. It was bright enough, but now that you thought of it, why hadn’t you turned on the lights? In the end, you ended up having to take the door off its hinges because you couldn’t find the key. But because neither of you could reach the last hinge on the top, you had to stand on Adam’s shoulders and use the screwdriver to undo it. You had felt really unsteady in that moment. The noise the door made when it fell to the floor was so loud, it was memorable. You shuttered.

You stumbled forward a little as a barrage of more images went through your mind. They were different from the last one. All of them were of Adam sitting patiently for you on the bed. Either he was sitting or laying but in some way or another there was something quite risque about his positioning. You grit your teeth hard, trying not to feel…

Well that was just it. You didn’t want to feel. You were trying not to. The statement was fine as it was, but… what you had been thinking was more like: ‘I don’t want to feel sad anymore.’

Both sentences were true.

Those weren’t the only things you recalled. You could still see Adam by the dresser as he picked out a dress for you to wear. And you could see him reaching for his camera on the bedside table.

He was staying up all night with you when you couldn’t sleep.

He was holding you tightly as you cried into his shoulder in the dark.

He was stroking your hair after a long, late, night.

He was pushing you to the mattress very dominantly - it wouldn’t have lasted very long though.

He was kissing you.

He was caressing you.

He was making you feel something, you know the kind.

And he was touching you, feeling you.

Your eyes stretched wide at the recollections. You backed away tensely, not even glancing at the master bathroom, and slammed the door closed. You were cursed to feel Adam’s hands and mouth on your body. Desperately, but failingly, you tried to ignore it.

You ran out the door, but it felt wrong. It was like Adam was still inside calling you to come back. And you clasped your hands together tightly. What the hell were you still doing here? You should have left long ago, like your therapist had told you.

You began to make moving plans. Hopefully you would be out of here by next week.

I’m sorry, Adam. I’m leaving you here. But just know that I will always love you. I would never stop. I just… need to get away from here, you thought miserably. It was about time you moved out anyway.

You got into the car and started driving. All you needed was some fresh air, and a long drive with the windows down. This was your escape.

When Adam had been with you he had always insisted on driving. But you hadn’t seen his car since he went missing. You only had yours now.

You connected your phone to the blue-tooth speaker. Your car speakers had died a long time ago, so you had bought a blue-tooth speaker. It worked well enough but it wasn’t like the car speakers, unfortunately.

You shuffled the playlist, and let it play. You didn’t have the energy to care about listening to your favorite songs first; whatever song played, played.

This was one of those times. The first song that played was a song you had forgotten about. It was Melanie Martinez’s song, “Haunted,” and you listened to it intently. Your heartbeat started hammering anxiously once you heard the lyrics again. It made you feel cold on the inside, and a little bit daunted by the real world. You wanted to crawl into your bed and feel nothing ever again.

This song was depressing! You realized it morbidly as the lyrics started.

“I could pull the sheets over my head and never get out of this bed. But what would that do?”

You rounded a corner quickly, but not too sharply.

“I avoid all mirrors ‘cause I’m scared to look into my eyes when I only see you.”

You inhaled painfully.

“It’s like you're always creeping on the walls and in my feelings. All those stories about ghosts are really true.”

You slammed on the brakes suddenly as the light changed red. You didn’t know where you were going.

“I put one foot in front of the other, in front of the other.”

You gazed around. There were people walking with their families on the sidewalks, there were cars with people laughing in them, there were stores with happy customers, there were children waiting at the bus stop together. But your life seemed so excruciatingly low right now, you didn’t even know how to comprehend it.

“Slowly, I turn every corner, turn every corner. Even when you’re nowhere in the room, I’m haunted by you.”

You tried not to relate, but the deeper meaning was too pressuring.

“I light all my candles, light all my candles. The darkness is too hard to handle, too hard to handle.”

You were losing your mind, listening to this. What the fuck, this song hit way too close to home, you needed out of here.

“Sleeping is just something I can’t do. I’m haunted by you.”

You were crying by the time the light turned green.

“I can hear your talking in the distance, your persistence is so cruel. And all your words pull at my feet and I fall back in love with you.”

Your hands trembling, you crashed them against the dashboard, thrashing and searching for the volume. You found it and twisted it violently to the right. The music got louder, and you screamed in shock. You could feel Adam’s arms around you still as you tried to breathe. Honking erupted from behind you, and other drivers started going around. You fumbled with the volume again, after your shock had worn away, and turned it off completely. That was enough for today. Now it was time to go home, and try to get some sleep.

You made a U-Turn at the intersection, and drove home in the silence. Your heart was the only sound you could hear, or even concentrate on. It was so loud you thought everyone could hear it.

Once safely inside the apartment, you grabbed a blanket, and a hot cider, and laid down on the couch. You had made it about a quarter of the way through your cider when you rested your head on the pillow. It was soft and squishy, and perfect. The spirals in your vision disappeared finally, and the atmosphere warmed up. Your mind was getting the sleep it needed at last.

Hopefully in the morning you’d be able to round the corner to the bathroom without getting lost in memory lane. That was something you had yet to accomplish, but right now you had achieved sleeping. Your therapist would be thrilled.

Dreaming of You - Adam Stanheight / Reader

A/N I've been inspired to write this for a long time. Water Fountain - Alec Benjamin - inspired it.

.

The hot wind blew into your face and blistered your skin. It was one hundred and six degrees this summer but you didn’t mind, not now that your emotions were so laid back. The past year was over, and you didn’t feel good about it at all; all you felt was numb. Your heart was heavy, your stomach was sick, and your head hurt painfully. You gazed at the beautiful water fountain in front of you. The water rose and fell methodically, flaring out prettily at the top and splashing a little over the edge.

You closed your eyes, trying to clear your head, when you felt a soft, gentle, hand on your shoulder. The scent of tart, metallic, smoke came from behind you. You grit your teeth in frustration, trying to center yourself. The voice that spoke out was calm, and familiar. Just a little higher in pitch than you would expect for such a man. “Hey, Y/N.”

You couldn’t keep your feet planted in one place, even though you knew you should. “Adam!” You exclaimed brightly, spinning around quickly. You flung your arms around his shoulders despite yourself. You really couldn’t help it, you needed this right now. Reality was just too harsh at the moment.

“Hey, baby!” Adam smiled at you warmly, wrapping his arms around your waist.

You rested your head on his chest, letting the softness of his white tee sooth you. You let out a deep sigh. “Adam…” you breathed. “I was wondering when you’d come find me.”

Adam lifted his hands up, and brushed his fingers through your hair. “Darling, of course I’d find you. I’d never leave you.”

You gazed up at him sadly, not feeling secure. You hadn’t felt secure for the last twelve months. “I thought I’d lost you forever, remember? Sometimes, I still feel that.”

Adam looked at the fountain solemnly. “Yeah. I do, too. But it’s over now. You don’t have to worry about that anymore. I love you, and that’s all that matters. Why don’t we go home?”

You shook your head. Somehow, you weren’t ready to leave this place yet. “No. Not quite. I… need a little more time… I miss you…”

“ ‘Miss’ me?” Adam asked you skeptically. “Baby, I’ve been here the whole time. You went to look at the fountain, remember?”

“Oh…” you grumbled dishearteningly. “Y-Yeah. I do now.”

“Oh, sweet-pea, please cheer up. It’s like you’ve lost a puppy, or something. Come on. Come here.” Adam plopped you on the edge of the water fountain, and sat on your lap. He cupped your cheeks with both hands. They were soft and warm, and his breath traveled down your neck and gave you goosebumps. You leaned your head back, allowing Adam to start kissing you. You smiled at the clear sky and sighed heavily. Holy shit, this was what you had needed during that last year. “Where were you?” You murmured.

“What do you mean?” Adam asked you in annoyance, his lips barely removing themselves from your skin. “I’VE BEEN HERE. I DIDN’T GO ANYWHERE.” He emphasized every word.

You looked at him happily. “Mmmh. I know. It just feels… like… We’ve been away for a long time… I don’t know…”

Adam lifted his mouth up to yours. “Now where have you been getting those ideas? You’re always allowed into my dark room, you know. I’d love your company, baby. Just don’t touch anything, please. I put a lot of work into those photos.”

Your heart melted. You pressed yourself closer to him. “Of course. I’m sorry. I should have thought of that. Of course that’s why I feel so lonely.”

Adam rubbed your head, and then wrapped his hands around your waist. He pulled your hips forward, brought your head in real close and kissed you. “You don’t deserve that loneliness, darling,” he whispered in your ear. “Come produce photos with me one day.”

You felt so light and overwhelmed. You were giddy, and very much at a loss for words. You gaped at him. “Just kiss me,” you begged him longingly.

“There’s the Y/N I know. Finally coming back to yourself, I see? Let’s keep it that way, yeah? No more dosage of depression, please. I just want my baby back…”

His words struck your nerves. You could feel heat rising in your cheeks, and butterflies flying in your stomach. You reached out your arms and wound them around Adam’s shoulders. “I love you,” you whispered. It was all you could think of to say.

“I love you, too.”

Adam kissed you again, harder this time, with much more passion.

More heat.

More excitement.

More lust.

You felt like an angel floating through heaven, Adam’s way of pleasing you was just so perfect. You wrapped your legs around his waist, Adam adjusted himself on your lap. “You like this?” He questioned softly in your ear.

So much!

There were no words to explain how you felt right now. You felt… Happy… That was the most important thing right now, not feeling sad anymore.

You felt safe.

You felt glad.

You felt… hmmm… perhaps that one wasn’t meant for public ears…

“Baby,” you practically whimpered out in desperation. “I-I…” your voice trailed off as you spoke. Shyly, you forced yourself to finish the sentence you started; there was no turning back now. “...Want you.”

Adam only looked at you smugly. One eyebrow was raised, and there was a crooked smirk on his face, as his villainous gaze observed you thoughtfully. But he didn’t say anything. Not a single word. He didn’t make a move, either. You both sat there in silence.

“Adam,” you broke the silence eventually. You were confused. What had you said to make him zone out like that? “Did I do something?”

“No!” Adam objected immediately. “You did nothing wrong… but I’m just wondering how long you plan on staying here. Your ass is nearly falling off the fountain.”

“No, it’s not!” You exclaimed. It was true. You were sitting firmly on the edge of the water fountain. “Oh… Sorry…” Adam mumbled awkwardly. “The angle looked weird from here.” He laughed , but it was forced.

“This is the fountain, isn’t it?” You asked, abruptly changing the subject. “You said, if you could have a water fountain in our house, this would be the one. Didn’t you?"

Adam peered past you to the fountain. “Yeah. I think it would be cool if we could have a water fountain in the yard, or something like that. I’m still not sure about all the details.”

You smiled to yourself. “It’s okay. I like the idea. Just keep fantasizing, we’ll figure it out.”

“I think it’s time we left. It’s getting dark, doesn’t that worry you?”

“Nah,” you said casually. “I’m just… here. I’m… happy.”

Adam looked at you miserably for a moment. “Y-Yeah. Yeah. I’m glad to see you happy.”

“You don’t look like it.”

Adam kissed you once more. “It’s not that at all. I’M worried about being out late. But we can stay since you want to so badly.”

You beamed up at him, eyes gleaming. “Thanks, Adam.”

Adam pulled his fingers through your hair. “I should’ve built a home with a fountain for us,” he hummed out quietly. “The moment that you told me that you were in love.”

Adam started to flicker and fade. It alarmed you because you could still hear his voice in your ears and feel his touch on your body. It was a rare collision of flickering, but still you were beginning to see through him like a foggy window. The real world was breaking through your illusion.

Your eyes kept fluttering open and closed over and over again, until finally you woke up for good. Your back hurt, your head hurt, your butt also hurt; and you realized then that you were nearly falling off the edge of the water fountain.

The streetlamps were on all along the sidewalk, illuminating the darkness slightly. Sunset had passed a long time ago, obviously.

To the side, there was music playing. A quiet melody that no one but you could hear. However, now that there were no more people around to bring sound to counter it, the entire cemetery was filled with your music. “Now I’m grabbing her hips, and pulling her in. Kissing her lips, and whispering in her ear and I know that it’s only a wish. And that we’re not standing by the water fountain.”

How long have I been listening to the same song? You wondered. I didn’t know it was on repeat! I think my favorite song is after this… No wait, you realized. That can’t be right. If my favorite song was after this, I would have skipped this one completely!

You looked around the gloomy cemetery one last time. While you had been unable to assign the water fountain to Adam, you had been able to get the cemetery to put it in as a memorial for ALL of its occupants. It still stung. “I’m sorry,” you said.

Lifting yourself from the fountain, you found yourself unsteady. You stumbled down the hill, and looked back up at the water fountain. Your heart was heavy and sore. You didn’t want to leave this place, not when it gave you so much comfort.

So much relief.

You stared at the gravestone closest to the fountain. You couldn’t read it from this distance, but you knew what was on it. Your boyfriend’s full name. It tore you apart, it really did. You didn’t know how you could manage this all on your own. You didn’t know how you could SURVIVE. You didn’t want to leave Adam behind. You simply wanted to be with him one more time. “I just…” you stammered out loud. You tripped over your words for a short moment.

Frustrated you blurted out your thoughts honestly. The truth always hurt more the longer you held it in. Your words were cold, and blew away in the frost, up towards Adam’s resting place, but sometimes telling the truth was all one needed to feel better. Standing in the chill, as the clock struck twelve, you muttered to yourself dejectedly,

Horridly,

Depressingly,

“I still love you, baby.”