Im Literally A Domestic Wonder Why Isnt There A Rich Cute Man Looking For A Malewife Available. I Should

I’m literally a domestic wonder why isn’t there a rich cute man looking for a malewife available. I should be able to mansplain manipulate malewife my way into a cute gay relationship.

Come watch Dead Boy Detectives!

We have:

Bitchy boy from Hell

Friendly guy who solves 90% of problems with a cricket bat

Girl with a demon in her head who can see your memories (but not her own)

Anxious shut-in girl who is actually really friendly and colourful

Lesbian whose Big Knife makes up for her awkward attitude

A murderous 300ish year old witch who would unironically call herself a girlboss

Bird

Really tiny, really bitchy iconic duo that feeds on attention

Not a Catboy, but a CatmanTM

Cute librarian :)

A man with a catchphrase who is also a walrus. He will sell you approximately something slightly to the left of what you asked for

A demon with nothing better to do than bother his ex

Victorian girl with a glowing squid for a pet

Immortal CPS worker with too much paperwork

Death played by Kirby Howell-Baptiste

One (1) man with no trauma

The best take on Lilith I've ever seen. That's not a joke it's just my honest opinion

Ghost postman. He delivers the ghost post

lets give it up for male whimpers. male whimpers everyone. round of applause give it up fo

I’m supposed to go out and dazzle people today and instead I’m sitting at the kitchen table shirtless, half-dissociating, half-scrolling tumblr, sipping my sour apple cocktail, and trying to figure out if masking when I’m this tired of it is a good idea or if I want these people’s first impression of me to be as chaotic and autistic as I actually am

i need a guy’s tongue in my mouth right fucking now

the three couples in the marvellous light series

the most Autistic Man you have ever met (special interest: magical theory) and his ray of sunshine boyfriend who is built like a linebacker and canonically throws an objectively perfect punch

the stereotype of high society woman turned prostitute (horny level: 10) and sunshiny man’s canonically undislikeable younger sister (horny level: there are not digits enough to express its magnitude)

tsundere poor boy who is the country’s most famous writer of yaoi smut and just wants to be pinned against a wall and friendless rich guy (exes w Autistic Man) who lost his magic in a freak accident and is all too happy to oblige

@idiot-in-the-walls is this anything