This Is Such A Mood

this is such a mood 

Sarhad paar ek aisa shaksh hai … joh aapke liye apni jaan bhi de dega

i have always been rather disconnected

from the world

from you

i either don't feel

or feel too much

i don't know which is better.

i feel strange breathing

i feel ethereal

i feel like a shooting star

bright, but not for long.

and so, so far away

i feel distant from you

from myself

i have difficulty pumping blood in my veins

my heart pains every time it beats

it hurts.

i can't feel it anymore.

my lungs are full of debris

it pains to breathe

i might just stop.

but it doesn't hurt as much as it used to,

is it because of you?

i like to think so.

and i know you like to think so too.

you think i am disconnected now

I have always been

i have just stopped pretending now.

SHAH RUKH KHAN + text posts part two (part one)

Think of all the people who wronged you. Think of them. The people who left you standing on the sidewalk, the people who made you cry. The people who stood by and let you cry alone. Think of them

Now set them on fire.

is love SUPPOSED to feel like this?

am i supposed to think of the way

your knife twisted in my chest

clogging my bloodstream

the iron in your love building in my eyes

the water you promised to give my flowers

rolling down my cheeks.

is love supposed to feel like this?

am i supposed to think of the way

my bed feels empty without you

sheets wrapping around my throat

chaining me

a mock of your embrace.

is love supposed to feel like this?

you come near me

my lungs run dry

you go away from me

the little thing that beats for you

just.

stops.

is love supposed to feel like this?

like sorrow given form

like every rose petal bleeding with our lost embraces

like every gentle breeze teasing me of you

wherever there is love,

there is grief.

and what is the greater grief

than to be here,

alone,

when you're not?