Ow My Emotions

ow my emotions

THE LEAGUE MATTER SM TO HIM LITERALLY LEAVING BIG IMPACTS JUST LIKE TOMURA'S ORIGINAL FAMILY DID

WE DID IT. IT HAPPENED

"Now let's talk about Shigaraki and Spinner. Can we talk about Shigaraki and Spinner please? I've been dying to talk about Shigaraki and Spinner, okay? 

Spinaraki, this connection keeps comin' up over and over and over again. Every once in a while, Spinaraki crumbs get given to me, to you, to us all. Spinaraki, Spinneraki, I look in the manga, this whole story is Shigaraki/Spinner! 

And so I say to myself, I gotta read carefully, I gotta get a hold of myself, I gotta abide by canon! Otherwise, i’m just daydreaming, it’s gonna just be fanfic I made up for myself. So I try to keep my expectations low, I prepare myself for disappointment, I know that Spinner is just a silly guy, a side character, he can’t be all that important, Shigaraki probably doesn’t even care about him. They’re loser gamers, they play fucking League of Legends. They’re villains, they want to destroy everything, Spinner is some mindless follower, Shigaraki is fucking possessed. They’re nothing. They’re toxic. It’s the imitation of a connection, they have no genuine wills, they don’t know what a real bond is. 

And what do I find out? What do I find? There’s Chapter 379, when Shigaraki breaks out of AFO possession and he thinks of Spinner. Right there smack in the middle of the page is Spinner, Spinner at his most heartfelt moment when he pleads, fucking pleads for Kurogiri to save Shigaraki and the others, when he deviated from AFO’s control and manipulations and machinations to wake Kurogiri up his own way, powered by the strength of his friendship with Shigaraki. Shigaraki wasn’t even there for that, and yet that flashback panel is there. 

So I decide, "Ohhhh shit, buddy, I gotta dig a little deeper." There's no Spinaraki connection? You gotta be kidding me! I got the next panel on the same page, a flashback of Tenko, Inner Tenko, Core Tenko, the pure, innocent five-year-old, angry and insulted at being accused of having no friends - of not understanding what it means to have friends, because he would not feel the need to destroy. Shigaraki remembers this moment that is his core, bursting out temporarily from the depths of possession because it had not, could not be consumed or overtaken or erased, it’s part of his indomitable will, and through the strength of that will he’s bursting out completely to end AFO’s possession. Shigaraki says he doesn’t need OFA, doesn’t need to follow AFO’s goal; Shigaraki mocks AFO for thinking he could ever control everything. Shigaraki thinks of having friends. Shigaraki thinks of Spinner. All right. 

So I start marchin’ my way to the next chapter, and the next, and the next. I read and I say, “Noooo, that was nothing! That was Shigaraki still wanting to destroy everything, still misguided, still refusing to be saved and given a real friendship! This pseudo-connection can be broken, will be broken, make way for something better.” And when I reach Chapter 411, what do I find? There’s Shigaraki, saying he’s going to make the horizon Spinner is looking forward to. There is Shigaraki recalling Spinner's line in Chapter 239, where Spinner thinks Shigaraki’s horizon is the prettiest thing he had ever seen, and Shigaraki knows this, somehow.

And see, what Shigaraki can probably remember that he was the one to set Spinner on this path, when he spoke of the beautiful horizon he could create, in Chapter 222, because he wants to destroy everything.

Back then, Shigaraki hadn’t remember that he could not, would not forgive the world for rejecting him at his most desperate and helpless - but he knew he hated the world. Due to a betrayal of his very existence he could not yet name, Shigaraki felt like he could never feel happy again, because he had the lump of lead in his heart spewing out maddening rage, and before that he had once been an empty shell, completely hollow–the same way Spinner feels. The same words Spinner had screamed in his face just moments before. They had gotten along okay before that, they had talked about games, they had hung out, Spinner watching over his shoulder as he played a game he brought along. They were homeless and penniless, but gamers gotta game, and Spinner would hover during and Shigaraki would let him. But then the League went and killed the CRC and Spinner shut down the next morning, terse and skeptical and angry, remembering the discrimination he suffered, raging at Shigaraki at him for not doing anything, for not leading the League to a changed world. Asking him, where are we going with all this? Where are we going? Just another thing Shigaraki is witness to - like Twice, an insane guy with no place in society; like Toga, who wants an easier world to live in; now Spinner, who was made to accept he was a lizard freak.

Everything he witnessed in the world, up to that moment, and then ever since, a world that refuses and rejects and denies, a betrayal of their existence - he’s going to destroy it all. That’s where they’re going. He’s going to give his friends that changed world. 

He’s going to make that horizon that Spinner wants.

Half the manga is Spinaraki crumbs! This story is a goddamn love story!"

it's Dungeon Meshi premier day!

I love that Tomura has Nana's hairstyle here