Most Of The Batkids Lie To Batman.

Most of the Batkids lie to Batman.

What’s unique about Tim “I lie to Batman” Drake is that he lies *successfully* to Batman.

Damian just states blatant untruths and expects people to believe them. Dick puts on a good act, but it can’t fool his family, even if they won’t call him out on it. Jason’s emotions are too easy to read, even with his helmet on. Cass lies with her words, but never with her body. Duke lacks self-awareness of his insanity and thus doesn’t try to hide any of it. Steph and Barbara don’t even bother, because Batman has no authority over her whatsoever.

Tim, though? He was raised by boarding schools and nannies and practically incentivized to lie to adults. He’s so earnest and well-meaning that everyone expects him to be a compulsive truth-teller, and he weaponizes it like the little gremlin he is. And when that isn’t enough, he knows how to spin things just right that they don’t quite sound like an untruth.

Jason: I’d fold Batman like a paper towel.

Duke: So why don’t you want to fight with Bruce, then?

Jason: Are you on crack?

I have a headcanon that whenever Tim has a devious, manic, absolutely bad shit insane plan, he introduced the plan with a laugh, a glint in his eyes and a wide ass smile as he says, "I've got a plan"

Everyone knows what it means, and they know that when it happens, they will have committed a few warcrimes by the end of the day.

They live in fear.

Except Jason, though, he thinks the plans are great. He sees Tim's smile and fucking celebrates because fucking finally he'll alow me to use my rocket-launcher.

YES YES YES

Having thoughts about the League of Assassins. It’s pretty common among them to form hierchy/ranking around who’s a better fighter and who beat/killed who. I can’t remember if it’s canon but I like the idea that to prove your teacher has taught you all they have to teach you must kill them (not sure how that applies to history/math/whatever but. Moving on.) Working off of that idea, a lot of assassins in the organisation would already respect Tim for causing the death/defeat of the Council of Spiders; assassins that are so skilled they kill other assassins for fun. Him then TRICKING RA’S AL GHUL AND BLOWING UP (almost??) ALL OF HIS BASES, AND THEN OUTSMARTING HIM AGAIN WHEN HE TRIES TO DESTROY EVERYTHING BATMAN HAS BUILT, I feel like it’s reasonable to assume a lot of them would’ve decided Tim is the bigger threat or at least proved himself very formidable and a large threat. I imagine a lot of them would’ve sought him out in Gotham and pledged loyalty to him (kind of like Minions seeking out the evilest leader thanks for that thought brain), maybe doing full on traditional rituals to prove the transferring of their loyalty, like blood oaths or ritual spars idk, maybe giving him gifts or displaying their skills so he accepts them as allies rather than being disrespected and killing or maiming them since that’s the standard they expect in the League.

And Tim is uh. Very confused. Very surprised. And also trying hard not to show it. He accepts all the gifts and pledges and shit, because he sure as fuck ain’t gonna turn them back to Ra’s, but after that he doesn’t really know what to do with them. He hires a bunch of them at Wayne Enterprise and Drake Industries, tasks a bunch of them with working for Red Hood on the down low, maybe sends a couple on undercover missions to Arkham Asylum so they start treating inmates as actual human beings and stop using shock therapy or something, and makes sure to write them all up fair contracts and great pay with good work bonuses and plenty of leave, and makes sure most or all of them start going to therapy. The assassins love their new leader and would do practically anything for him.

But anyway, all that aside. I’ve had those thoughts in my head for more than a month. Something that just recently occurred to me is Mara al Ghul. Damian’s cousin. Another child raised by the League of Assassins, only this one never left.

Until, that is, she watches this freshly-immunocompromised vigilante arguably outsmart her grandfather twice, and decides he is the bigger threat, actually, I want to be on his good side when he takes over the world.

So now Tim is being forced into basically adopting this feral child, who’s only experience in American society was undercover missions to kill people, who thinks decapitated heads are reasonable gifts, who’s introduction to Tim was something batshit inside like dumping the Joker’s head in his lap because the Joker is Gotham’s most dangerous rogue and of course Tim will appreciate having him gone. But even with a well crafted facade she can tell Tim is unnerved and horrified, so she must be doing something wrong. Maybe it was because the Joker is Batman’s enemy and not Tim’s specifically? But Tim doesn’t have any arch nemesis aside from maybe Ra’s who she obviously can’t kill, so she does more research into Tim’s life and background and finds out Captain Boomerang killed his father so next she brings Tim HIS head and she can already tell he’s much more pleased this time. But there’s still that edge of unsettlement and wariness, and he’s acting so strange around her, so she digs deeper and finds out about the Titans Tower incident but Tim sent all these other assassins to work for red hood so they must be on good terms, and then she finds out about all the bad blood between him and Damian and Dick so she starts trying to kill them next, starting with Damian obviously (a mix of jealousy over him leaving the league and a good amount of cousin rivalry/cain instinct), but Tim stops the fight and tells her to stand down and now she’s scared that he’s going to punish her and Ra’s’ punishments were always so harsh and perhaps this time she can’t quite fight down the urge to hide.

Meanwhile, Tim is being dragged through a parent arc kicking and screaming, the bats are wondering why the hell there are suddenly so many assassins only after they scare off Ra’s, Jason is more or less vibing because he thinks the assassins are from Talia and the Joker’s dead so of course he’s ecstatic (even tho he wishes he knew who did it so he can thank them), Dick and Damian are still reeling from learning Bruce is alive/getting him back from the time stream when all of a sudden this masked child comes out of nowhere mid patrol and attacks Damian, and isn’t backing down even though Dick arrived quickly but when Red Robin arrives and yells stop she’s already three rooftops away by the time he’s done speaking. Everyone is tired and doesn’t know what the hell is going on except mayybe Oracle.

one of these days I should do a thread of panels that show how loved, trusted, and respected Dick Grayson is by the superheroing community at large, because there's honestly a lot of them

Subject class 223 spotted with a subject of unknown origin. Possible category— abyssal?

New subject appears to be of undocumented species. Bioluminescent membrane may be used in hunting, further research pending. Length of tail may point to relations with local snake species? Unlikely, research pending. Thin tail and visible bone structure may point to possible malnutrition/starvation.

Subject appears to be very young. Subject class 223 likely to assume paternal role again as he it did with [REDACTED]. Subject class 223 demonstrates remarkable tolerance with new subject, developing new behavioral patterns in response to that of the new subject. Integration into subject class 223’s pod pending? Further observation required.

Note to self: do not let [REDACTED] see. Redirect expeditions sw.

— Log entry 3.18, Researcher: [REDACTED]