He Makes No Attempt To Extinguish Feyre's Fire, Letting Her Feel It In It's Entirety, His Face Void Of

he makes no attempt to extinguish feyre's fire, letting her feel it in it's entirety, his face void of any lingering hurt. she has every right to feel this way, to be angry ... not only at this world, that has treated her so unfairly since she was born — but at him, too. ever since his return back to velaris, he can hardly stand to look at himself. his reflection is a beastly thing, shrouded by darkness & evil. everything he had to do to survive, staring right back at him. there isn't a second that goes by that he isn't second guessing every choice he's had to make in the last forty-nine years. sometimes, he can hardly tell where that mask ends & he truly begins, or if it were ever even a mask at all. ( perhaps he lost himself somewhere along the line. ) regardless, he knows she isn't wrong: what he'd done was cowardly, an attempt to save his court with little to no regard for the cost.

rhysand is unflinching as feyre's palms meet his desk, falling back into that act that he despises with such ease. he only stares at her hands blankly, unable to fight her any longer. to see her filled with such detest for him slowly eats away at any sense of self left that he still has. such a monster, to make his own mate hate him. it's only at the mention of other high lords, that some fire sparks back into his eyes, meeting hers. suddenly, he's standing, biting down on his words. " do not — for a second, compare me to him. " tamlin: who had done nothing to save her, who watched her die, who locked her away after she spent so long imprisoned just to save him. it twists his stomach into knots, his jaw clenching. " i am not locking you up, nor am i discarding you. i was giving you an out, before you said something you'd regret. you have always had choice in being here, bargain or not. "

i expected him to at least fight back — to throw some daggers back at me. or to laugh it off, mock the useless temper i had lost the reigns on. i felt my words pierce him, as if it were my own heart a jagged knife had just ripped into. i had hit him too hard and pushed him too far -- immediately realizing my mistake, as i watched his armor not just crack, but shatter completely. because of me — because of what i had said. the burning affliction in his eyes was enough to gut me, as i realized i was the scathing, ferocious monster that had just willfully torn him apart. i was the one who had stabbed those two fae in the heart as they begged for their lives and their loved ones wept nearby. none of it was true — i had not meant it, each sharp and pointed word meant more for me and the wild beast that lurked just under my hardened surface than rhysand. this time, he had been the easy prey.

my lips parted to speak — to apologize, and take it all back. i should have left, remove myself and avoid the boiling confrontation, like i had done with so many others. and i would have — but his attempt to dismiss me was so reminiscent of the disregard i had been consistently shown, it rekindled my dwindling fury. icy rage i had spent ages carefully burying. rhysand was not the real culprit — he was not the deserving target of my unleashed wrath, but turning my anger on him was almost too easy, after he had made himself the conduit before. i was so tired of being both coddled and ignored — tired and angry. my hands slammed down on the desk, as i stood up and leaned forward. “ you do not get to dismiss me. we are not under the mountain anymore. bargain or not, i am not at your beck and call. you cannot just shoo me away. i am not the one running from myself. is this what it means to be a high lord — do you all just discard someone the second they say something you don’t like? ” i hated myself for my inability to stop — the way i lost any semblance of self control around him. “ then you really are a coward. ”

the smell of blood is all around, bodies laying at his feet, scattered across the field. metal on metal clinks, cassian at the fore front, syphons blasting through the endless sea of hybern's men. rhys can feel his own magic draining, every lash of shadows becoming more & more tiresome. there's no time to think. he quickly draws his sword, saving whatever he has left for the worst that's still to come. ensanguined hands grip the hilt, slicing through the wall of fae storming him without hesitation. one by one, they fall — a mastered dance of death.

his gaze only rips away from his targets to glance to the area where feyre had been. where the bulk of hybern's army is now pushing in. & suddenly, his vision is momentarily blackened, his body seizing in sheer pain. a soldier took the opportunity to lodge a knife of ash dripping in faebane into his side, skewering flesh & sinew. rhysand barely has time to react, pure adrenaline taking over, as he rips the blade from himself. his body twists to use whatever strength he has left to shred the fae into ribbons. with a heave, he takes to the skies, the panic finally settling in as he scans the battlefield for his mate.

where are you?

it's sent into a void, echoing back to him. their bond gone. he doesn't allow himself to think the worst, tells himself it's just the faebane — even as he soars over where she once was ... where she was supposed to be.

feyre.

he tries again, only to be met with darkness on the other side. rage runs over his whole body, consuming his dread, as his wings fan furiously against the whipping winds. even with his powers exhausted, fleeting by the second, he contemplates raining hellfire onto the whole field, turning it into nothing but red mist. it isn't until her screams meet his ears, that relief finds him. he rips himself from the sky, landing where it had came from. frantically, he scans his surroundings: pure bloodshed & carnage. but amongst it all, there is feyre. his heart pounds, as he runs towards her, engulfing her in his arms. before he can speak, he summons whatever magic he has left to winnow them back to camp, to safety.

" what happened — " his voice breaks, fear finally catching up to him. he only pulls away from her to look her over, eyes catching on her wounded shoulder. crimson stained fingers meet her cheeks, grounding him, even as panic still lingers in his gaze. " i'm fine. i'm fine — what happened? are you okay? "

@rhysie said: (aftermath): after a battle/war, sender and receiver reunite thinking the other was dead.

it all happened at once — an ash arrow pierced my shoulder, embedded with faebane and nullifying my powers, just as the massive cloud of darkness across the clearing disappeared and the bond went taut. RHYS??? i tried screaming down the bond, only to be met with deafening silence. the blood draining from my face was not because of my throbbing shoulder, but the pure panic and dread welling up inside of me. i stared across the clearing, waiting — no, praying to see another wave of darkness engulf the sky and rain hell down on our enemies, but nothing ever erupted.

no, no, no. it couldn’t be. no.

paralyzed by crippling fear, i was barely able to dodge the next arrow flying towards me. a thunderous cry, i didn’t recognize as my own, ripped through me as i used my own bow to shoot my attacker down. breaking off the end of the arrow buried in my shoulder, i took off running as fast as i could towards the other side of the clearing — faster than i ever had before, too fast for anyone to catch me. past bloodied illyrians and hybern’s army alike. i needed him, we all did. there was no life for me without him. nothing else mattered if he — no, i wouldn’t allow myself to entertain that thought.

“ RHYS??? ” i screamed aloud this time, my heart thundering and face paling with desperation as i neared the edge of the clearing. my head began spinning and eyes started welling with tears as i searched frantically. no, no, no. the pit in my stomach and ache in my heart deepened, as a small part of me started to give up. i couldn’t find anyone i recognized amongst the hideous bloodshed. i fell to my knees — feeling the pain in my shoulder for the first time, that was still minuscule compared to the gaping wound that would be left by his absence. i waited for one of hybern’s soldiers to take advantage of my vulnerability and strike me down — please, it’d be less agonizing than this, but no one ever approached. only a lone, tall figure ran towards me, his stride still quick and powerful — a sob wracking through me as i recognized him through my flood of tears. he’s alive. he’s alive. scrambling to my feet, i crashed into him with force — my arms clinging to his neck, hands combing through his thick hair and cupping his cheek, making sure he was really there. “ i thought — ” i still couldn’t bare to say it out loud.

PROMPTS FOR THE BUDDING ROMANCE *  assorted dialogue, adjust as necessary

i never thought something like this could happen to me.

when they said you were hurt... i've never been so afraid in my whole life.

i almost lost you.

you are the most special person i have ever met.

are you blushing? did i make you blush?

here, take my jacket. you're shivering.

i don't know how to function around you. i struggle with words.

you have an easy way of making me feel breathless.

you have no idea what you do to me.

i've never met anyone like you before.

you've been a great friend to me. better than a friend. someone i can turn to in my darkest times.

next time, warn me when you pull a stunt like that. i want to be with you.

i don't know where i'd be without you.

you came right when i needed you.

i was just thinking about you, and here you are.

i had a dream about you.

i've tried seeing other people... but they're not you. they're not who i want.

i'll protect you. i promise.

i haven't taken my eyes off you since you walked in.

this is new for me. feeling like this.

i'm sorry. i just had to see you.

you mean absolutely everything to me.

is this what happens when you fall in love?

do you feel the same way about me?

i thought i could handle seeing you with someone else, but i was wrong.

i don't know what to say. you make me forget how to speak.

you make my head spin.

do that again. that was cute.

i couldn't wait around anymore. i have to tell you how i feel.

stop! you're making me blush!

i've never felt anything like this before.

go easy on my heart. please.

my heart has been broken so many times in the past... but you won't hurt me, right? i can trust you.

you're very distracting, you know.

was that flirting? were you just flirting with me?

you're different. you're not what i'm used to.

you can keep holding my hand, you know. you don't have to let go.

i like it when you held onto me. that was nice.

this stopped being a fling a while ago.

everything changed for me last week.

when i saw you with someone else... it broke me.

could you see yourself with me?

i wish i had the strength to tell you how i feel.

i could be your date.

what if i asked you out?

i've been flirting with you this whole time.

this doesn't have to be a date if you don't want it to be.

we could... try. see what happens.

meeting you was the greatest thing that ever happened to me.

sorry, what did you say? i wasn't listening. i was... distracted.

i came as fast as i could. they said you needed me.

just stand behind me. i'll protect you.

you are... so infuriating. you know that, right?

i know what i said before... but i was wrong. about everything.

maybe we could try again?

you mumbled my name in your sleep again.

the way rhys gets so bent out of shape when people call him rhysand… chill diva

the archer's words hit their mark, impaling him with ice that he's left frozen in their wake. it could all be chalked up to just lashing out at how unfair the cauldron has been to her, if she weren't telling the truth. feyre has seen every side of him, past the mask down to his bare bones, unlike anyone else. his naive hope that maybe it wouldn't be enough for her to run away, that maybe they were two sides of the same coin ... he realizes now that it was foolish, some desperate attempt at escaping the fate that seems to be already cemented for him: he will die alone, with only himself to blame. he had plenty of time to come to terms with that under the mountain, even made peace with it. but the cauldron brought her to him, as if she were his saving grace. it turned out to be some twisted joke, dangling everything he's ever wanted right in arms reach — & that's where it'll stay.

he finally remembers how to breathe, though there is no sign of any mask. the prince of darkness, wrathful & cunning ... gone. there is only him, with a hurt in his eyes that he can't seem to have any control of. " i know what i am. do you? " he grasps at any piece of himself he can pick back up, attempting to compose himself. " it sounds like we aren't so different then. aren't you making those same choices, now? " his gaze hardens, fingers slicking back night kissed strands, before closing the book in front of him. a desperate attempt to dismiss her, this conversation. " you've had enough training for today. "

@rhysie said: “So this is your opinion of me? Thank you for explaining so fully.“

“ you dare have the nerve to act surprised? isn’t this what you wanted? the image of yourself that you’ve painted for the world to see? you’ve played your part so well. ” i almost laughed, harsh and bitterly, devoid of any humor. the wicked and biting beast buried deep within me lashed out, with unyielding vitriol, knowing exactly where to strike. i could not see past my fury — blinded by rage and the frightening and staggering reflection i saw mirrored back to me in his violet eyes. the girl with hate in her heart — rigid detestation for this cruel and unjust world that had taken so much from me, leaving me starving and begging on my calloused hands and knees. knuckles bloodied by force, with permanent welts and scars. pure loathing directed towards those that had secured my fate — the only countenance for the utter revulsion i felt towards myself. rhysand was the creeping shadow i couldn’t shake, always looming over me and casting back my own shame and devilry. the dark veil he enshrouded himself in, the same one i felt infecting my heart. both products of what we had been forced to do. we were the same and i hated him for it. “ you’re a coward, rhys. hiding behind a mask, because it’s easier than admitting what you truly are. alone. scared and alone, which is all you’ll ever be, because that is the choice you made. ”

" i've given up trying to enforce a curfew with you years ago. " warm laughter echoes through his throat, hand sliding to idly trace over illyrian markings across the nape of cassian's neck. " i wanted an update on the camps. " he neglects to mention the worry that plagues his thoughts every time he has to send him there. his safety is of little concern — no, cass can handle himself. but every visit is tolling, even for him. to be rejected by your own, even now ... he shakes it off, pulling features into a smile. a tsk. " though, perhaps that can wait. i can smell now that you're in desperate need for a bath. "

vaguely offensive considering cassian had been paying homage to the particular decadence and beauty of his highlord. but then again, cassian is just back from three solid weeks of training in the illyrian camps. there isn’t a single part of him that wouldn’t benefit from a long hot bath and sleeping for four straight days. maybe his opinions on proper behaviour towards your highlord is skewed? a nuzzle to rhys’ neck as his curls are ruffled. a humph.

‘ tired s’all. why’re you up? is it past my curfew? ‘