Becoming An Adult Cheat Sheet!

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i’m a little anxious to send this not on anon but i saw one of your posts where a comment mentioned jewish conversion and you seemed to support it. my boyfriend is jewish and i would like to convert to judaism but a lot of the research i’ve done says that you can’t convert, you have to be born into it since it’s an ethno-religion. i know everyone has different beliefs about this but i worry i won’t be accepted

Hello tyblackthornsheadphones, welcome!

"my boyfriend is jewish and i would like to convert to judaism"

Oooh! Mozel tov! I'm always so happy to meet new people who want to join the Jewish community! <3

"a lot of the research i’ve done says that you can’t convert, you have to be born into it since it’s an ethno-religion"

Oh dear, I'm so sorry to hear that! D: There's so much misinformation being passed around online. :( Thankfully, I'm happy to report that those sources are incorrect: It IS possible to convert to Judaism. ^_^

Like any group, though, how friendly any given Jew is to potential Jewish converts depends on the individual and/or the group they belong in. Just as there's elitism and gatekeeping in every group of people ever (like high school cliques and video game circles--"you're not a REAL gamer unless X"), unfortunately you'll also find some snobbery, elitism, and gatekeeping in Judaism. :(

Though I think Rabbi Friedman has a very loving and accepting view of Jews by conversion. ^_^

The way I see it, the differing experiences of a "Jew-by-birth vs a Jew-by-conversion" can be comparable to an American citizen who was just born on American soil vs an American immigrant who had to go through a long and rigorous bureaucratic process to become an American citizen--they have to learn everything there is to know about American history, presidents, laws, customs, the legal system; spend a "probational period" living in America to become a naturalized citizen, etc.

(The Jewish religion used to be very conversion friendly, but that came to an end when Christianity and Islam became huge world powers who outlawed the Jewish community "tempting" good Christians or Muslims away from the One True Faith.

Jewish identity also used to be passed down from father to children in ancient times--as you'll see in the Torah--but that was changed by Hillel the Elder during the tyrannical reign of King Herod--yes, THAT King Herod! Hillel did this partly to give the children of Jewish mothers who were abandoned by their non-Jewish fathers a place in Jewish society, and he did this partly as a big old political "fuck you!" to King Herod, whose father was only nominally Jewish and his mother was a foreign gentile woman.)

Chabad is an Orthodox Jewish organization.

chabad.org

How to Convert to Judaism - What to Expect at a Conversion

I’m planning to convert to Judaism. This has been something I’ve been considering and mulling over for years, and I’ve made my decision. Wha

Reform Judaism

Choosing Judaism: Learn the Basics

People convert to Judaism for many reasons. Learn the basic facts about converting to Judaism, and how to take the first steps.

And here's a link from a Reform Judaism POV. ^_^

In my experience, Reform Jewish synagogues and organizations tend to be more accepting of and friendly to Jewish converts. (Though it's not universal! Sadly, there are snobs everywhere. D:)

So if I were you, I would just start with checking out some books on Judaism from your local library, attend Friday night or Saturday morning Shabbat services with your boyfriend (that's usually a time when non-Jewish guests attend).

If your local college has a Hillel or Chabad Jewish student organization, I would visit that too! They usually host fun events that are free and open to to all, especially students who're just interested in connecting with other Jewish students, and learning about Jewish identity. ^_^

In the meantime, I'd just take time to study and learn about Jewish history and culture just for fun.

I think Sam Aranow's "Jewish History" Youtube series is a very entertaining way to learn about Jewish history, from ancient to modern.

Unfortunately I have to go to work now, but if you have ANY other questions, please reach out to me! I LOVE sharing knowledge and resources about Judaism, especially to potential converts who show a genuine interest and curiosity.

(Jewish culture can be, in my opinion, not as accepting and welcoming of potential Jewish converts as they should be, and I want to make up the difference. ^_^ )

i know vitamin c basically neutralizes adhd meds but lemonade good

What about the Jews?

If you're a Palestinian peace activist who advocates for the destruction of Israel, then let me give you a little history lesson.

In the late 1940s, after the UN partition plan was a guaranteed outcome for the territory. Many Arab nations in north Africa and the middle east went through massive waves of pogroms which were supported by the governments of these nations. They kicked out the native Jewish minority of their nations in the 100s of 1000s. These Jews are known as "Mizrachi" Jews, which is a name for the Jews who lived in the middle east and north Africa, they are descendants of Jews who had lived in the middle east and north Africa.

These are the nations which kicked out their Jewish populations, and how many they brutally expelled after massive waves of pogroms:

Morocco: 18,000 Jews expelled

Algeria: approx. 140,000 Jews expelled

Tunisia: 103,500 Jews expelled

Libya: approx. 35,000 Jews expelled

Iraq: 100,000 Jews expelled

Syria: 30,000 Jews expelled

Yemen: 62,500 Jews expelled

Oman: 5,000 Jews expelled

Iran: 150,000 Jews expelled (10 remain today)

Egypt: 75,000 Jews expelled

Pakistan: 2,000 Jews expelled

Afghanistan: 5,000 (only 1 left)

Why is it only "Zionist atrocities" which you all try to spread false news about? Why do you turn a blind eye to the atrocities which the Arab nations committed?

As of today, 50% of Israel's population are Mizrachi and are descendants of middle eastern Jews. Therefore making the stereotype that Israel is a white colonialist state false.

Don't blame Israel for simply existing. Blame the rest of the middle east and north Africa for making it necessary for Israel to exist.

HP-like LGBT Books (not written by a TERF)

In no particular order. These are only books I’ve read and enjoyed. There are more out there and I will add them to the list as I make my way through them.

1. The Grimoire of Grave Fates created by Hanna Alkaf & Margaret Owen and written by 18 diverse authors: several non-binary characters, a trans woman, two trans boys + some f/f and m/m. This is an incredible collaboration! The students investigate the murder of a close-minded professor at their magic school.

2. Simon Snow by Rainbow Rowell: m/m. This is the most famous one. I wouldn’t mind a TV adaptation, or even movies, but that sounds less likely.

3. A Hero at the End of the World by Erin Claiborne: m/m. This one is cute and funny. It doesn’t hurt that the cover art is gorgeous.

4. Tim Te Maro and the Subterranean Heartsick Blues by HS Valley: m/m (YA, but very sexual). Simon Snow meets Sex Education, with a fake baby assignment. Simply hilarious!

5. Three Meant To Be by MN Bennet: m/m + a trans boy and an ace girl. This is a magic school adult book, focused on a teacher, though the students are all very interesting too. I adore the magic system.

6. Gallowgate by KR Alexander: queer male protagonist (MG). This one is about learning how to hunt ghosts and has horror vibes.

7. Magic University by Cecilia Tan: m/f and m/m, as the protagonist is bisexual + some trans characters (erotica). This series is surprisingly my favourite, even though I’m very picky with erotica.

8. It Ends in Fire by Andrew Shvarts: m/f and f/f, as the protagonist is bisexual + a non-binary minor character. This takes place in a heroic fantasy setting. I love the magic system.

9. Scholars and Sorcery by Eleanor Beresford: f/f (novellas). This short series is super sweet. It’s mostly about life at the magic school.

10. Magic for Liars by Sarah Gailey: f/f-ish (content warning: murder mystery about a dead queer woman). If you’re looking for something darker, go for this one.

11. [French] L'éveil des sorcières by Cordélia: lesbian major character (MG). This is another cute and funny one, with a lot of diversity. It hasn’t been translated so far, but I’ll keep you updated.

12. When the Letter Comes by Sara Fox: trans girl protagonist (short story). It’s a little sad at first, but it gets better. You can read it legally and for free here.

13. DIY by John Wiswell: queerplatonic m/nb (short story). It’s about climate change and capitalism and also has disability representation. You can read it legally and for free here.

14. My Name is Magic by Xan van Rooyen: f/nb + a major queer male character. I love that this story is inspired by Finnish folklore. There’s a strong focus on protecting nature as magic is being consumed too fast.

15. Trans Wizard Harriet Porber by Chuck Tingle: trans woman protagonist (weird erotica for a laugh). This is the biggest crack I’ve ever read, as well as the biggest F*** You to transphobia.

16. This Is How We Fly by Anna Meriano: the protagonist is questioning her gender identity + some non-binary characters and some f/f (non-magical). This is a novel about muggle quidditch, a co-ed sport where “the gender that a player identifies as is considered to be that player’s gender.”

17. Brooms written by Jasmine Walls and illustrated by Teo DuVall: some f/f + a trans woman major character (graphic novel). A group of diverse women take part in unsanctioned team broom races.

I've been thinking about this for a couple of days now. It's a good question, but it has a lot of answers because its actually pretty complex. Mind you, a lot of this will be based on my own observations and experiences-I myself never went to college but instead spent 4 years of my life in the USAF. I will link to things that better explain the science to it, but generally speaking, its observations and personal experience and US/Western history. And I may not touch on it all because there is a LOT! Also, I do criticize aspects of Christianity though, this doesn't mean I hate Christianity or anything like that. Rather, I'm pointing out the flaws of it-there have absolutely been positive aspects to Christianity!

And, as a disclaimer-supporting Palestine isn't the issue. Palestine deserves its own state and with the rights of its citizens respected-or however the people there, Palestinian and Israeli, decide on how those 2 states will be, such as 2 state confederation, etc. They're the ones that ultimately decide, I'm just here to make sure everyone has their human rights respected. Its easier to say 2 state solution to get the idea across that I want both to exist and that I support however they set up their state(s).

No, rather, the issue is the means of which the younger generation (and that of my own, as we're the next age bracket up) claim helps support Palestine. And truthfully, its a mess of how/why we came to this place.

Christianity doesn't exactly allow for questioning nowadays-it wasn't always like this for the religion, but absolutely became so over time. And its gone in cycles as well. You get the severe hand of the Catholic Church for much of the Middle Ages or Protestant Church (like Puritans!) at times, reformations, then First Great Awakening to be followed by the Enlightenment (and for the record, many of the Founders of the US practiced a very different type of Christianity that would make Evangelicals scream). Then came the Second Great Awakening as a response to the Enlightenment, then the Third Great Awakening and Fourth Great Awakening (which may or may not actually count, but still had a lot of changes)...and well, US culture is a mix of Enlightenment, First, Second, Third and Fourth Great Awakenings along with bits from before that, with varying degrees of influence depending on the time period. Right now, we're dealing with the shit from the Fourth Great Awakening-like the rise of the Religious Right and apocalypse BS. You do still see pieces of prior awakenings, such as more social justice oriented churches and churches that look to be more universalist, but they're being drowned out by those of the Fourth Great Awakenings. Enlightenment still hangs on, but the Fourth is absolutely trying to destroy it as it consumes and destroys what's left of prior Awakenings.

So as you can see, Christianity does go through cycles of questioning but ends up defaulting back to being unquestioned. Which is a problem, on top of the antisemitism that's been a part of it for a . Enlightenment, while far from perfect, allowed questioning and tolerance for others as well as separation of Church and State.

But we're losing that as the Right gains ground and the Left gets more extreme to counter it (or not).

And because the 'don't question it' aspect is partly due to Christian thought, where your Priest/Pastor/ Reverend/etc is supposed to be the one who speaks for God's Word. They are supposed to know the ins and out, so what they say *must* be true and as servants of the Lord, they *must* be infallible or far closer to it then the rest of us sinners.

This unquestioning attitude on leaders leads into sin as its also reduced into a binary. You either are or are not. Once a sinner, always a sinner. You can never be cleansed of it. This absolutely has warped the social justice sphere in horrific ways. Purity tests, a hierarchy on who matters most and should get all the attention on, and more. If not a sinner, you are innocent and deserve nothing terrible. But if you are, well...

Ever wonder why there's such a rush to prove someone is a sinner when something terrible happens to that person instead of realizing that 'hey, that doesn't matter, what was done to them was awful?' Its easier to do that and preserve the power structure and people in control of it. My next point is as follows-people don't generally think of 'oh yeah I'm going to be evil'. Rather, they see themselves, their community, etc as good and thus what is done to sinners must be deserved. Its how terrible people that can woo a crowd have such voracious defenders. They confirm and say the right things-to whatever is considered right to that community and seem to do so without caring on the opinions of others-though truthfully when challenged, they do not handle it well. Unfortunately, too many consider that a hallmark of leadership, when leadership itself is complex. It is not the loudest asshole in the room that seems to say the right things.

Am I talking the Right? Or the Left? It applies to both actually, because its all shared overall cultural values. Someone could be the most anti Christian, pro human rights campaigner but still engage in this thinking. They didn't do the work of truly figuring out the more problematic aspects they learned; they just figured if they left Christianity and/or opposed it that they were good, forgetting that it affects damn near everything in the overall culture in many different ways. Or they were on the right, came to oppose it but still engage in mannerisms from there, because they didn't do the work of really deconstructing it.

Some of this, I see in my own age group. They will point out to how the US acted after 9/11 to argue on how badly the US acted and how Israel is acting right now. But they will forget on how social media has been deliberately fucked with-the Great Russian Interference on tumblr back for the 2016 election was an example-but far from the only example. It was chilling seeing how well they researched how to 'speak' to the groups they were looking to sway with propaganda. And that is repeating, right now. On this site and elsewhere, with the desired effects of antisemitism and Islamophobia being on the rise. And too many are not questioning it-not thinking 'why is this a random tweet and/or why is this written to deliberately make me mad?'

Several things have stuck with me from my time in the Air Force. One of which is this-brainwashing, as its is commonly known, doesn't exist. Rather, its because you accept it-most cases aren't from accepting it due to threats/acts of violence, but by simply not questioning your own bias over time.

Honestly, its pretty terrifying to know that you will never be immune to propaganda. Its hard to be aware of so much being thrown at you. Unfortunately, depending on where you lived, you may have received schooling on media literacy. I say unfortunately because it should be universally taught, but isn't. The cracks in the school system continue to worsen-I was made aware of recently that even in NYC, a progressive stronghold, the Holocaust isn't taught much and plenty of states don't mandate teaching about the Holocaust (a little over half don't but also read the survey article, it is interesting on that states that do teach end up with more people that deny it compared to states without mandatory teaching. ). This contrasts my own education from back in the early to mid 2000s, where we read the Diary of Anne Frank and Night, saw Schindler's List and pictures and discussions on what happened in the Holocaust.

I have a theory as to why it is strangely higher in states that teach it. We know that American history is unfortunately lacking at times and propaganda at others. What I suspect is those people who are very young and not exactly in the position to really think further on it, are confronted with 'hey this was also an important historical event and the US gov't fucked up' they immediately start disregarding anything that's true because one lie means all are lies. Add to that teens, due to brain development at the time, have very black and white thinking and its not helped by overall society Part of this is due to Christian thinking, but also due to factors of poor education, poverty and a general need for things to be simple because of the mental energy involved. One of the articles talks about climate change denial, but it can be extrapolated to other areas.

Now, I bring up brain development but its complex. Yes, the brain isn't completely developed until around age 25 (varies from person to person), however, a person doesn't magically become less impulsive, or more empathic and so on. You still need to have those traits nurtured and practiced prior. Unfortunately, this too has fallen into the binary thinking-where you have people truly saying anyone under 25 is 'literally a child' instead of examining the various stages of brain development and comparing/contrasting with age groups and more.

Now, let's talk about something else. The race for a spot in college and the absolute insanity teens must go through, not just to place a spot with testing, but also place in scholarships, loans, etc. Ever think about the origins of why students need extracurriculars? Its due to antisemitism-to keep Jewish students out. Its also why legacy admissions became a thing as it serves to keep the well to do in the student body. While Affirmative Action has helped some minorities and/or poor people into college, the threshold remains high due to well, extracurriculars cost money. and testing has its own problems. And some students may have to work part time to help their families, taking away from even having the option of it. That's also not accounting for racist/sexist/etc exclusion in certain extracurriculars that's slowly being corrected.

Add into that many take AP courses-which can be harder than the actual college course. You have to pay an amount as well to take the course/test, just for a shot at having completed it. While 3 and above is considered good, its up to the colleges on if they are willing to accept it in full or partial...or even at all.

Continuing on with the black and white thinking, I was often told to either go to college or flip burgers, with the burger flipping seen as a terrible thing. Obviously, I can point out how utterly classist that was now, but hearing that growing up that the only way to make something of yourself was to go to college? That can fuck with someone. I had friends that didn't have lunch because they were too busy with multiple AP classes and then would try to sneak a snack during their extracurriculars. I did take some AP classes, some I was great at and some I was very much not but I absolutely refused to do as they did.

Simply put, there is too much pressure on teens to get into college while colleges do the bare minimum to make themselves more accommodating. This means a lot of new young adults haven't spent their teen years finding out who exactly they want to be or having been taught critical thinking skills because that was given up to memorize facts for the many tests taken. Add to that many are just so damned tired trying to keep up and they also don't have the energy to try and work on those skills either. So we're working with at least two generations of grinders trying to get a spot for a better future, but losing out on critical aspects needed to prepare them to be emotionally stable adults while that spot continues to end up further and further from them as the debt piles up.

This makes them easy prey to fall into extremist thinking. I remember being full of a lot of passion at that age, to the point of feeling extremely deeply. I still feel deeply on things, but I've also settled down as I've gotten into being an adult and gaining experience as I age. Part of it is trying to carve out what is 'you' and what you believe in/stand for and trying to understand the new responsibilities gained as a new adult. And freaking out at the sudden lack of structure of college life compared to the highly structured school life.

Now let's add into social media and how there's algorithms in place to push you towards for extreme thoughts. This extreme thoughts can be from within the nation or outside. Combine that with the young adults not having critical thinking skills needed to properly engage with social media, the need to feel like one is doing the right thing and being on the 'right side of history', Christian thought and black and white thinking seeping in, and its a huge set up of deliberate, not deliberate and in between actions taken up to this point by various institutions that have led a good chunk of Gen Z and some Millennials to this point.

There is inexperience involved for sure, many of Gen Z were born after 9/11. However, its absolutely not solely due to that-there are so many factors at play here, along with just the general inexperience young adults have that are being taken advantage of. And, like I've mentioned, some in my own age group have also fallen into the trap. Their inexperience isn't so much due to age, its more due to general history. There's also an aspect of learned helplessness here for both groups due to the sheer number of BS with wars, the economy, pandemic, climate and how everything seems to just get worse.

Nontraditional news isn't completely bad I want to say as well; however there is a lot of it that absolutely is. Nontraditional news isn't held to the same standards as the traditional news is. Anyone can make a podcast, spout off absolute BS and have it take off because there's not much in the way of an integrity check. There's a damn good reason why there's the saying of 'a lie has already traveled around the world while the truth is still tying its shoe laces.' (Old) Conspiracy theories spread, the rise of AI related things has aided those in spreading fake news and divisions only get deeper. The rise of needing to be seen and heard because they're not being seen and heard in real life is also a factor, and explains why a lot of the activism ends up slacktivism and gets twisted into 'look how morally right I am being!' at the expense of the groups supposedly being championed. Social media being ubiquitous and damn near required for social networking doesn't help either as it promotes falling further into a hole by those that lack experience on how to navigate it.

Add into the Cultural Christian ideas of rally around a leader that spouts off the correct words and seems to be doing the right things to the point the leader replaces the ideals and warps them, the need for an apocashitstorm for there to be a 'truly perfect utopia' to come about at great cost to everyone but the people longing for it and the inability to admit wrongs for fear of losing the 'innocence' they had and instead becoming whatever the buzzword for bad person is. Its pretty dangerous. Its how you get people assuming the worst of you but at the same time wanting to do exactly what they think you do-for their noble causes of course.

Add also into the ever present antisemitism that goes unchallenged throughout all levels (and for far far longer than the US was the US) and general regret of US History (and promotion of said historical issues at expense of other areas with their own histories around the world!) on top of all that is how you get the extreme 'Hamas did nothing wrong! Those Israeli women, men and children deserved their rapes because they're settler colonizers!' Empathy is only for the innocent.

Its very easy to be empathic for the innocent, just like its easy to be a saint in paradise. But for those that aren't? Well that's asking too much, too much thinking about what your values actually mean and if you're truly living up to them. Nuance is a rare thing, a despised thing-unless it can be used to keep the 'innocent' innocent as they are deemed to never be allowed fault. Its how you get people praising Hamas and thinking they are liberators as well as claiming that what Hamas did wasn't actually what they did. Even if before they were saying those Israelis deserved it. ANYTHING to keep their group they claim to champion 'innocent/pure' and because they lack the ability to distinguish Hamas from Palestinian citizens and the Likud run Israeli gov't from the Israeli citizens, it reenforces this.

The point isn't justice at all; its people that want to be able to freely hate a group and feel justified in doing so and act out what violence they would like to do to their own enemies. Do they care about Hamas and their oppression of Palestinians? No, they don't and even fight back against factual accounts of Hamas oppressing Palestinians. There's also an extremely racist (and for Muslims, Islamophobic) fantasy at play-oh those people we don't consider white, they're going to butcher people, they can't help it, they're oppressed! Palestinians are a people, not a terror group like Hamas. Do some join with Hamas to commit horrific acts of violence against Israelis? Sure, just like some Israelis use their time in the IDF to cause as much harm to Palestinians. Doesn't mean all Palestinians or all Israelis are of one mind-rather, like any people that exists, there will be a lot of differences in opinion.

They hate Jewish and/or Israeli people far far more than any love they claim to have for Palestinians-if they even had any true positive feelings towards them to begin with. Everything I mentioned above (and I'm sure I missed some stuff!) is why the youngest age group as well as many in my own claim to support Palestine while not actually doing so.

Speaking of-here's charities that are working to end this war and have solutions to hopefully make a better future for Israelis and Palestinians.