If You Havent Eaten An Entire Box Of Saltine Crackers With Nothing But Flat Root Beer To Wash It Down,

If you haven’t eaten an entire box of saltine crackers with nothing but flat root beer to wash it down, have you really lived the American dream?

Anyone else ever move their bed to the center of their room, no walls touching it on all four sides, just to spite the gods.

I was trying to decide what to have for dinner and didnt realize I misspelled corndog till cornsog

I crave glass

I work at a gas station, and here are some

Gas Station Quotes

“You know oli, with the recent drug busts I think they arrested all our customers”- my 60+ yr old coworker, who is a very sweet old lady with ‘the grandma voice’

Older man: “Hey babe, how you doing”

Me: “pretty good, how about you Pookie?”

“I think our delivery driver is kinda Babygirl”

“You mean Mark?”

A story