Kinda Evil And Messed Up Rambling, Tags Have TWs

Kinda evil and messed up rambling, tags have TWs

I finally got the courage to cut again, nothing as deep as before, I really scared the shit out of myself last time so new rule, no cutting during disassociation or depersonalization episodes, way to fuckin reckless

That sounds goofy as fuck "no cutting while in a bad episode, gotta do that shit in a good mental state" honestly at this point it's a sleep aid am I even actually mentally ill? I'm probably just an attention seeking whore you know? honestly I should just stop. gauze is expensive and I shouldn't be wasting money just for attention. If I want attention so bad I'm sure there are plenty of men who will have their way with me I'm not even worth any money I'm too gross. I'm a disgusting awful thing, not even a person that title is too good for me.

And to think I'm actually "needed"? I should just kill myself shouldn't I? Get it done and over if I left all my money too him at least ide be worth something

But if that's the case why not live? Spend every waking moment working, being something useful to him, get as much money as possible all for him that's why I can't kill myself, he deserves a good life and the second I can't help with that he might as well kill me.

Found a pretty little blank space on my arm<3

I think I'm funny<3

hi! i saw your post about your beans cut. i hope you are okay. i hope it heals alright.

beans always make me throw up. I hate them. they frighten me so much. (only done them by accident) anyways you aren't alone. and i hope something makes you smile soon.

Holy hell that's so sweet<3 thank you so much,

Beans are so frikin scary I'm just gonna leave that arm alone for a while and do good aftercare, glad to know I'm not the only one who hates em

I hope your day is happy

Found a pretty little blank space on my arm<3

Oh god I fucked it

I hit beans again. I don't know what's wrong with me I feel like I'm loosing it, slowly bleeding every bit of me out

I did two styros and almost removed the piece of skin in-between them when bandaging

God I'm loosing it I can't even kill myself to get out of this god damn state.

I'm needed no matter what I say. I have someone relying on me and wanting to die while having that feels like hell.