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Lovedbyguk - Hoseoks Bitch But You Can Call Me J:/ - Tumblr Blog
Guarded Hearts | 01
hoseok | bts » 12949 words » ♫ | 01. 02. 03. 04.
“She’s going to kill me if I’m late one more time.”
The thought ran through your mind multiple times before the round, cast iron clock on the wall of the small bakery struck four p.m. You told your boss again and again you had to leave by three thirty, making it extra clear you couldn’t stay a minute later or else. To which he informed you, “Of course! No problem!”
Yet, he manages to keep you busy putting away stock, cleaning out the fridge, and making one special delivery of sweets to a preferred customer before you’re on your way to Jung’s Dance Studio - a thirty minute walk from your boss’ client that gives you enough time to contemplate the inevitable.
“She’s really going to be upset.”
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tattoo artist!jeongguk
a/n: bc ive always thought jeongguk would make an excellent tattoo artist. (also i’ve remade and i’m reposting this on my new blog as the first addition!)
“____, please? I need you to hold my hand, I can’t do this without you,” your best friend pleaded, eyes wide and unblinking and you felt yourself wavering at his terror-filled gaze. You groaned internally as you stared him down, knowing that you would always give in to him.
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bitchin’ || pt. 7 (M)
↳ PART OF MY REWIND SERIES
The 80s were a time of choices. Which perm was right for you? What color neon would you wear next? None of these choices, however, were more questionable than a certain deal you made with Jeon Jungkook.
pairing: fratboy!jungkook x reader
word count: 3.4k
genre: 1980s au, eventual smut, e2l
warnings: sorry this chapter is so short :(
A/N: This fic was inspired by To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before. Thank you to @junqkook for letting me use her likeness!
01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07
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PART SEVEN
Your fingers wrapped around the metal handle, prying open the door of your dorm.
Unsurprisingly, you were met with a mop of dark hair and a full set of white teeth, Jungkook’s smile wide and blinding. You had figured the incessant knocking was his doing.
“Yes?”
Your tone was dry, clueing Jungkook in that despite the 24 hours that had passed since the day of your event, you were still, in fact pissed at him.
Moving a hand from behind his back, he presented you with a bouquet of yellow flowers, jutting them your way. Your eyes fell onto the flowers with indifference, clearly not impressed.
“These are for you.” He enthused.
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just one (vi)
notes: the only guy on campus who’s track record trumped that of your best friend’s - park jimin - was jeon jungkook. not that that was a problem…until he set his sights on you.
warnings: smut (f recieving), protected sex
genre: drama, romance, humour, college!au
wordcount: 5.3k
part i // part ii // part iii // part iv // part v // part vi // part vii // part viii // part ix // part x (first five parts on my m.list)
you watch sadly as you tip your case of empty paint tubes into the bin. they were your absolute favourite, a birthday gift from jimin almost two years ago. you had been so careful and stingy with them all this time to preserve as much as possible - at least to get you to the end of the semester - so it was disheartening to have to finally throw them out. oils were always your favourite. still, there wasn’t much time for moping; if you were to get your next piece finished by the deadline you better start now because of the drying period between layers of watercolour.
“maybe jungkook has a hairdryer…” you mumble to yourself before padding over to his room. he’s sitting at his tiny little work desk with his back to you when you peek over his shoulder. “kook, do you have a hairdryer?”
he points without removing his eyes from the screen. “the bottom drawer over there.”
“thanks,” you do a double take as you pass him with the appliance in tow, his eyes a little bloodshot and face twisted into what looks like terror. usually you couldn’t so much as clean a paintbrush without jungkook all over you while you were at his place, but he barely spoke the whole afternoon. you take a tentative step towards him, because if he was anything like jimin when he’s stressed he might get rabid. “you alright?”
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rebound
pairing: Jungkook x f reader word count: 10.7k rating: m warnings: enemies to lovers, some angst, light mentions of alcohol, smut: cunnilingus, standing/wall sex, teasing, squirting, slight cum play summary: Jungkook relieves you from an awkward time at a party - in more ways than one. a/n: 10k+ smh this fic Big Huge 🐸 from me, anyway very warm and special thank you to a very sweet, very patient, and very excited-for-this-fic buddy of mine who was so fucking generous as to look this over for my nervous ass SEVERAL TIMES and add suggestions and edits. you’re a real one and ily SO MUCH <33333
“I just think it’s going to help get your mind off of things. School. Or - y’know.” Taehyung had half a point, although you hated to give him even that.
“Take my mind off of my problems, only to make room for more.” You heard his unease and disappointment through an exhale on the other end, so you continued, not wanting to be difficult and longer. “Hey, no more convincing. I’ll go, but I probably won’t stay long.”
“Yay!”
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mask | jeon jungkook (m)
A scenario in which you and Jungkook pretend to be roommates rather than a couple while his (female) childhood friend stays over.
✧ Pairing: jungkook x reader
✧ Genre: one-shot, college!au
✧ Length: ~32.1k BUCKLE UP
✧ Contains: fluff, angst, smut (oral f. receiving, fingering, unprotected sex), strong language, triggering events (usage of a date rape drug, attempted rape, victim-blaming), strong urges to punch someone in the face
author’s note: although a repost from my old blog, this is truly the longest fic i’ve written thus far. this took at least 5 months to edit, but it’s done! i hope you guys enjoy my debut fic on this account ~
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In Motion (M) | 08
↳ Character | Jeon Jungkook x reader (with POV switches)
↳ Genre | Smut, Mature scenes, Masturbation Club!au
↳ Word Count | 10,120 words
↳ Summary | The rule is simple; you can look but you can’t touch. You’ve been attending the event for a few times but it was only when a certain boy arrives on one occasion did you feel the fire of lust burning inside
↳ Warning | explicit sexual scene, mutual masturbation, fingering (f receiving), handjob, exhibitionism.
↳ Chapter Index (link will be added later)
Club La Rouge
[Incoming private message from Club La Rouge]
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“The manager says the only reason the restaurant where we work at is popular is because people enjoy eating while watching our relentless flirting with each other but I swear to God we’re not flirting???” AU with jk plss
🍝 pairing: jeon jungkook x reader
🍝 genre: diner!au, waiter!jungkook x waitress!y/n, very vERY soft hours aka the fluffiest fluff, lady and the traMP MOMENt
🍝 wordcount: 2.7k
🍝 notes: this isn’t really christmas-y but the request was too cute to pass up so hERE we go i almost expoded from how ooey this shit is,,, also tag urself i’m yoongi
(gif isn’t mine!)
“order up!”
jin taps the top of the bell with his spatula before sliding four plates of pasta onto the countertop
“i got it!” you call out and hurry over to the counter
“beat you to it” you grin when jungkook appears behind you not a second later “another point for me!! yoongi!!”
yoongi looks up from his magazine and a smirk twitches at the corner of his mouth
“ooh, kook. pick up the pace, buddy!” yoongi tsks as he adds another stroke to your side of the board
he sighs and kicks his legs up onto the counter before grabbing his magazine
yoongi’s on his lunch break
…his lunch break ended half an hour ago
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caught me. | jjk (m)
(edit done by my love, @httpjeon)
↣ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 | jungkook x reader
↣ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 | 13.5k
↣ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞 | roommate au. slight e2l au. smut. porn with very little plot.
↣ 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐱 | explicit language and sexual content. mentions of vaping. mutual masturbation, sex toy usage, oral sex (f + m receiving), gagging, fingering, squirting, dirty talk, some wall fucking, riding, unprotected sex (you know the drill, wrap it up), multiple orgasms, overstimulation, creampie, jungkook has tattoos, long wavy hair and a giant schlong.
↣ 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 | you hate your temporary roommate, jungkook and it doesn’t help that he’s been catching you at the most inconvenient of times.
“Seokjin, how could you do this to me?” You whine from the kitchen island, reflexively stabbing at the bowl of cereal in front of you. You can’t believe your roommate is just now telling you, a day before he leaves for vacation, that his “friend” will be temporarily moving in while he’s away. Of course, Seokjin pays no mind to your tantrum. Instead, he continues packing the last of his luggage in the living space, across the room. Simply rolling his eyes and heaving a sigh in response, he’s far more acquainted with your antics than he’d like to be. He could almost call you the younger sibling he most certainly never wanted, a nuisance wrapped in feigned misery. The arrangement between the two of you seemed nothing more than the result of a last-ditch Craigslist roommate search.
He should have known the consequences, he supposes.
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↠ k e y
☔ angst; ☁ fluff; ⚡ smut;
[UPDATE / PLEASE READ BEFORE MESSAGING]: i have taken down many of my fics due to various reasons (for those of you interested in said catalysts, feel free to read my fic ink nemesis, for i have addressed some of these issues). fics that i have left up are marked with a ☪ happy reading! –
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Can you rec some fics series with good smut
Hi, hello! I’m ssooo sorrryyyy it took me foreeverrrr to reply to this. i don’t even know if the person who sent this ask still follows me lolol
so ya askin for smut and ya askin for series so like.. I had to take my time with this. anyway I’m very particular with my smuts and I know everyone has different tastes when it comes to that so hopefully these are to your liking!
As always I’ll first recommend stories I’ve read and then stories that I’ve yet to read. ^^ …also…just a warning. I have so many smutty series on my to read that I couldn’t just not rec them only because I hadn’t read it yet ssooo…
enjoy this v e e e r r y y long list of smutty fic recs lol (many of these writers have other smutty series too so check out their masterlists!^^)
Note: some of these fics have very flawed characters and may present potentially triggering content. Please review the author’s warnings/notes before you start the series just in case there’s something you’d rather not read.
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HOLY FUCK YEESSSDDSSD THIS IS SO GOOD IM GONNA GET THIS TATTOOED INSIDE MY HEART WHY
tattoo artist!jeongguk
a/n: bc ive always thought jeongguk would make an excellent tattoo artist. (also i’ve remade and i’m reposting this on my new blog as the first addition!)
“____, please? I need you to hold my hand, I can’t do this without you,” your best friend pleaded, eyes wide and unblinking and you felt yourself wavering at his terror-filled gaze. You groaned internally as you stared him down, knowing that you would always give in to him.
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Hello innocent tumblr civilians today I am going to hand my overwhelming feelings towards life to you!!! Jk nobody knows this account butttt just wanted to post <3 I think life is very sad and complicated. I am feeling so much maybe a lil TOO much emotions towards life. The future is something I’m always scared of. Excitement doesn’t exist, only anxiety. I realized that recently. I was going to a water park for my birthday and I was excited and it felt so weird and then I realized... I don’t get excited. For me, the future is just terrifying because well,, it’s the future. You have no idea what’s going to happen and some things, even though you can try as hard as you want to prevent them, are just destined to happen. Life can be so shit sometimes. Seeing the people you love get hurt. Watching the people you love hurt you. Still wanting someone even after they’ve hurt you, when you wouldn’t have wanted that treatment for them if someone was treating them like that. Watching someone who used to be such a significant part of your life disappear. Some people see life as an obstacle to cross. They just think as life as another thing to conquer. They make life their bitch. They don’t dabble into the emotions or at least not a lot. They just wake up do their job and sleep. I’m not like that. I’m constantly thinking of emotions and trying to understand the past. I guess I’m sensitive. I get hurt wayyyy too often. I’m trying to fix myself. Whatever this ramble made 0 sense I’m very sorrryyy
Yeah these days I can’t risk it 😔🤝
so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god
prepare yourself for 30 seconds of cuteness overload
sunshine line’s hangout - TB edit
random gifs of jungkook that i haven’t giffed before for anonymous (cr. 7)
소윤의 비밀정원 여기 있어 ♡
AZTA’S FIC RECS
AUGUST 2017 - FEBRUARY 2018
last updated: february 10, 2018. for more real-time fic recs check @letholojimin-recs
personal favorites are bolded
while you’re at it, here’s my masterlist
KIM SEOKJIN
SERIES
For You; 10/10 (ft. kth + badboy au, written by @war-of-hormoan, as)
ONE SHOT
MIN YOONGI
SERIES
Make A Move; 3/3 (fwb au, written by @kthartics, fa)
Mr. Min; 8/11 (ft. jjk + ceo au, written by @ellieljade, as)
Petname Babygirl; 7/? (ft. pjm + sugar daddy au, written by @btsjeonjazz, asf)
Destruction Of A Muse; 5/6 (uni au, written by @baeseoul, s)
ONE SHOT
Mixtape (college au, written by @jungblue, s)
As If It’s Your Last (zombie apocalypse au, written by @just-come-baek, as)
Listen Closely (coworker au, written by @avveh, s)
JUNG HOSEOK
SERIES
Burned; 3/3 (roommates au, written by ricepot-jisung, a)
ONE SHOT
KIM NAMJOON
SERIES
Mission Bad Boy; 15/15 (hs au, written by @oppamansae, asf)
ONE SHOT
PARK JIMIN
SERIES
Sin City; 12/? (club ceo, written by @btssmutgalore, sfa)
Labyrinth; 41/41 (agent/gang au, written by @taechubs, afs)
Silk; 15/15 (ceo au, written by @freehoseoksdick, as)
Foreign & Familiar; 2/2 (idol jm, written by @oppamansae, af)
Always; 4/4 (hogwarts au, written by @treasuredbangtan, f)
Half-Bitten; 3/? (vampire au, written by @eureka-its-zico, sa)
How To Be A Good Kisser; 1/? (bf for rent au, written by @gujoonim, ?)
Hellborn; 3/? (demon au, written by @brightaely, s)
Chained To You; 3/3 (fuckboy + badboy au, written by @addicktjimin, sa)
Between The Devil & The Deep Blue Sea; 2/2 (pirate au, written by @jungkxook, as)
Philophobia; 4/- (ft. jjk + fuckboy au, written by @minsvga, asf)
ONE SHOT
Star-Crossed (ceo au, written by @taechubs, afs)
Locked In Love (bbf au, written by @jiminniemouse, sfa)
Now Or Never (fwb au, written by @goldenjulychild, sa)
Color You Mine (teacher au, written by @noir0neko, s)
Dionysus (ceo au, written by @jungkxook, sf)
Shades of Wrong (hogwarts au, written by @workofteaguk, fs)
Almost Something (bbf au, written by @kthartics, sf)
Hard To Say (best friend au, written by floralseokjin, sfa)
One More Time (fuckboy au, written by @taepott, sa)
Push You Down (ft. kth + fwb au, written by @jiminniemouse, s)
Lower (fuckboy + roommate + bff au, written by @jiminniemouse, s)
Complice (hogwarts au, written by @kthartics, f)
Snap Decision (businessman au, written by @noona-la-la-la, s)
Claimed (dom au, written by @ellieljade, sa)
Obey (wolf au, written by @houseofbangtaninternational, s)
If We Were A Movie (fwb au, written by @kimvtae, sfa)
Friends With Benefits (fwb + fuckboy au, written by @freehoseoksdick, sfa)
Dress Code (ceo au, written by @chinnychimchim, s)
Reset (uni au, written by @chinnychimchim, asf)
Everything (arranged marriage au, written by @kpopfanfictrash, asf)
Poster Boy (high school au, written by @versigny, f)
The Dark Side Of The Moon (werewolf au, written by @chinnychimchim, s)
Blue Blood (royalty au, written by @joonbird, sa)
KIM TAEHYUNG
SERIES
Nice Guys Finish Last; 3/3 (bad boy + bff au, written by @bangtanscript, fas)
The Thing About Love; 3/3 (jk’s bf au, written by @kthartics, fa)
For You; 10/10 (ft. ksj + badboy au, written by @war-of-hormoan, as)
Zaddy; 13/13 (sugar daddy au, written by @btssmutgalore, sfa)
Xeno; 11/11 (ft. jjk + futuristic au, written by @oppamansae, fa)
Runaway; 3/3 (fuckboy + best friends au, written by @jungkxook, asf)
ONE SHOT
Push You Down (ft. pjm + fwb au, written by @jiminniemouse, s)
Summer In December (bad boy + college au, written by @kthartics, f)
Butterfly (old friends + no closure au, written by @thelillzmonster, fas)
Love Me, Love Me Not (soulmate au, written by @kthartics, s)
Exquisite (model au, written by @jungk0oksthighs, sf)
Games (roommates au, written by @btssmutgalore, s)
JEON JUNGKOOK
SERIES
Touché; 10/10 (hitman au, written by @taechubs, sa)
I Won’t Stop You; 30/30 (vampire au, written by @imsarabum, afs)
Arranged Love; 20/20 (idol jk, written by @jungkxook, fas)
Blackjack; 5/11 (gang au, written by @kpopfanfictrash, sf)
Protege; 7/? (ceo reader au, written by @baeseoul, asf)
Future Hearts; 7/? (punk au, written by @jungblue, sa)
Monster; 10/? (punk au, written by @btssmutgalore, sa)
Deal; 3.5/? (ceo au, written by @nchu, saf)
Brother’s Best Friend; 8/8 (bbf au, written by @idolimagines, s)
Bad; 8/? (bad boy au, written by @thelillzmonster, sf)
Out Of The Egg; 6/6 (war + rebellion au, written by @happy-meo, fas)
Lust And Errors; 5/? (stepbrother + fwb au, written by @imaginethisbts, saf)
Xeno; 11/11 (ft. kth + futuristic au, written by @oppamansae, fa)
Mr. Min; 8/11 (ft. jjk + ceo au, written by @ellieljade, as)
Roommates; 3/3 (roommate au, written by @tayegi, m)
Aisles; 3/? (best friend au, written by @war-of-hormoan, as)
Angel In The Darkness 10/? (mafia au, written by @icyhobi, sa)
A Little Surprise; 2/2 (long distance au, written by @decembersagii, f)
Givenchy & Gold; 2/? (coworkers au, written by @promixity, s)
Philophobia; 4/- (ft. pjm + fuckboy au, written by @minsvga, asf)
Workout; 2/2 (idol jk, written by @chinnychimchim, s)
Instant Gratification; 3/3 (jock + fuckboy au, written by @chinnychimchim, sa)
The Best Thing He Never Had; 5/5 (best friends au, written by @rosaetae, a)
ONE SHOT
Heart Of The City (spiderman au, written by @jungkxook, asf)
Defects (soulmate defect au, written by @kthartics, as)
Prodigy (art teacher au, written by @kpopsinning, sf)
The Millionaire And His Lover (ceo + fake rel. au, written by @gukyi, afs)
Jasmine (younger jk au, written by @btssmutgalore, s)
Accio (hogwarts au, written by @minsvga, sf)
Weekend Vibes (boyfriend au, written by @houseofbangtaninternational, s)
Jingles (christmas + coworkers au, written by @just-come-baek, sf)
Pen Pals (best friends au, written by @gukyi, sf)
The Lucky Ones (idol jk, written by @thelillzmonster, af)
Seasons of You (reincarnation au, written by @noir0neko, afs)
Lowkey (nude model + uni au, written by @joonbird, s)
Playing With Fire (fwb au + idol jk, written by @lindzfrienzxo, afs)
In The Stars (ghost au, written by @kthartics, fa)
Rooftop (high school au, written by @thelillzmonster, af)
I Bet You It’s Love (high school au, written by @thelillzmonster, af)
Thursday (high school au, written by @thelillzmonster, fa)
Somewhere Only We Know (christmas au, written by @workofteaguk, f)
If It’s You (badboy au, written by @bangtan-spells, f)
The Wedding Planners (enemies to lovers au, written by @gukyi, fsa)
Confessing To My Crush *Not Clickbait* (youtuber au, written by @taechubs, s)
Amortentia (hogwarts au, written by @jungkxook, f)
OT7
SERIES
Kairos; 3/- (arranged marriage au, written by @kthartics, fas)
You Never Walk Alone; 17/17 (gang au, written by @jungk0oksthighs, afs)
Endgame; 3/? (gang au, written by @oppamansae, a)
ONE SHOT
Sense Me (sense8 au, written by @hopestallion, s)
AUTHORS
taechubs, fuilovetaeslvet, imsarabum, idolimagines, jungkxook, houseofbangtaninternational, oppamansae, lindzfrienzxo, bangtansmut, jiminniemouse, treasuredbangtan, jungblue, eureka-its-zico, war-of-hormoan, kthartics, bangtanscript, btssmutgalore, thelillzmonster, happy-meo, gujoonim, imaginethisbts, ellieljade, btsmutimagines, hopestallion, workofteaguk, jungk0oksthighs, nchu, brightaely, tayegi, mochijamz, noona-la-la-la, kpopsinning, gukyi, noir0neko, kimvtae, btsjeonjazz, addicktjimin, baeseoul, decembersagii, avveh, bangtan-spells, promixity, minsvga, freehoseoksdick, joonbird, floralseokjin, chinnychimchim, versigny, rosaetae
What Is Written (Final Part)
This will be the last chapter in this series. I just want to say thank you for being so patient with me and I have to admit, I’m proud of myself. Mainly because this is the first mulichapter fic I’ve ever been able to finish. Lol. I don’t want to sound self-righteous or cocky, but I’m honestly very happy with how this last chapter turned out, as challenging as it was to write. I’m really sorry for how long it took though. I hope that you all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.(: Xx
Part (1) (2) (3) (4)
It was amazing; the way love could change a person. Not the kind that seemed to come and go, but the kind that made you want to be more than you’d ever dreamed you’d amount to. The way it could bend a person’s will, even the most stubborn of sorts, was remarkable. Ever so slowly, a part of someone’s being would immerge which they didn’t even realize they had in them. The cowardly could be brave, the timid could be boisterous, and the selfish could be selfless. A single heart would become shared, entrusting half in another’s hands to keep for as long as they’d have them. Cliché’s that you’d made fun off all your life wouldn’t seem so ridiculous anymore once you found yourself falling victim to each and every one. Your relationship was no exception.
Following the night you’d shared with Yoongi, it was like everything began to change; especially your boyfriend. Normally, he wasn’t one to do the typical date things. Yoongi cherished home, claiming that there was never anything you could do outside that couldn’t be done in the confines of your apartment. Now however, it was like that part of his personality had been eradicated. There was no request you could make which he would turn down; not even protesting when you’d asked him to go to a theme park with you. He even took you places that you’d asked to visit months ago, which he had previously turned down, chalking it up to cheesy sayings about making you happy. But the thing you’d come to love most, was the way he never left at night anymore, always opting to snuggle with you rather than disappear into the darkness. A faint smile tugged at your lips as you looked at the small pictures taped to your mirror; remembering the troubled look that covered Yoongi’s face when you asked to go in the small booth. There was never a day where you felt unloved with him around and honestly, you would be hard-pressed to find a time when he wasn’t by your side nowadays. A lack of space was never a problem for you, though sometimes you wondered if it was for him. It wasn’t often, but sometimes you’d catch him staring at you. That in itself wasn’t what worried you, but the pained look in his eyes was. Mixing that with his tendency to drift in and out of attention when with you made you wonder what the pale boy was hiding now. Thinking it was you, you’d tried to create a little distance, attempting to go out on your own on several occasions. Each try would get squashed, Yoongi insistent on coming with you and you never being able to refuse.
Slipping your arms through the sleeves of your jacket, you took one last look in the mirror before stepping into the hall. Feet padding against the wooden floor, you found Yoongi in the living room. Elbows on his knees, he stared down into his leather book, seemingly in deep concentration. You frowned at the state of the area around him; various objects were sprawled across furniture, the coffee sitting in front of him long since cooled. Sighing, you made your way towards him, jumping a little when he snapped the book shut as though he was a child who had just gotten caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Picking up the dishes on the coffee table, Yoongi caught your free arm in a tight grip.
“Where are you going?” You didn’t miss the way uneasiness seemed to lace into his deep cords.
Giving him a questioning look, you responded, “Just to the store.”
Easing the cup out of your hand, he pulled you to stand in between his bony legs. The anxiety that was radiating off him didn’t ease as he spoke, “Why don’t we just stay in today?”
“You don’t have to go, Yoongi.” You replied, reaching out a hand to smooth down a blonde tuft of hair.
“Please?” The feebleness in his voice startled you, used to his calm and cool demeanor. Quickly trying to compose himself, his hands crept to your hips, dipping under your shirt to rub small circles over your hip bones. This didn’t alleviate the worry beginning to build inside you, caught off guard by his denial after following your lead for so long. “It’s just— I’d really rather stay in. We go out all the time so why don’t we just stay here and watch movies or something? I’ll even let you pick…”
His dark eyes stared up into yours hopefully as his fingers running shapes into your skin began to make you falter. Heaving a sigh, you bent to give him a small peck on the lips, brushing off his odd behaviour. “Just let me change.”
Still confused by the whole ordeal, you made your way back to your bedroom obediently, almost turning when you thought you heard a sigh of relief resonating from the couch. Quickly switching out your outfit for a pair of leggings and your boyfriends sweater, Yoongi grinned at you upon your return. He had retrieved blankets from the linen closet and made hot chocolate, providing the perfect setting for a day in. Most of the day was spent lazing on the couch, watching whatever was on TV, though it was more background noise than anything. Talking about this and that, the afternoon was sprinkled with bouts of laughter; tender touches filling the gaps. Yoongi’s lips were like the sea, pulling you in and always welcoming. His company was never boring, whether it was conversational or along the lines of something more physical. Before you knew it, the sun had begun its decent, casting shadows into your small living room along with pangs of hunger. The first grumble came from you, making Yoongi chuckle before hoisting you into his arms while you clutched onto him like a monkey. Dinner was made up of a simple menu, mainly miscellaneous snacks found in the backs of cupboards. After a fight about what to watch and a little aegyo on your part, you finally selected a film, settling into one another on the couch. Bodies melded together, you went from sitting to lying with an arm slung around Yoongi’s torso while your head rested on his chest. You couldn’t help but notice how comfortable it all felt. There was no trying to keep the other entertained or awkward fumbling for each other. You simply fit together like Yin and Yang, balancing one another out and creating a world of your own where everything was tranquil. The melodic rise and fall of his lungs mixed with his hand playing absentmindedly with strands of your hair while the TV droned on in the distance began to make your eyes feel droopy. Soon enough, you found yourself drifting into sleep.
It was hours later when you awoke, Yoongi no longer tucked under you as your phone buzzed obnoxiously on the coffee table. Rubbing your eyes, you slid the device into your palm, squinting at the fluorescent screen. Seeing your roommate’s name pop up on the display, you lazily slid a finger across the phone before bringing it to your ear. “Hello?”
“Y/N!” Her shrill voice squeaked on the other end. “Thank god you answered. I need you to come to my boyfriend’s house.”
“What?” You groaned in annoyance. “Why?”
“He’s really sick and I don’t know what to do.”
Hearing the panic evident in her voice, you flung the covers back, sitting up on the couch as grogginess began to dissipate from your extremities. “What do you mean?”
“He was okay all day but then we were cleaning up dinner and he fainted and now he’s got a fever I think. I’m not really sure but he’s sweating like crazy.”
“You’re sure it’s not just the flu?” You replied, trying your best to avoid leaving the house.
“Would you just come, please?” She barked, far from calming down. “You can suck face with Suga later.”
“So rude.” You snorted, though you had already risen from your makeshift bed.
“Please, Y/N?”
“Relax, I’m coming. Just put a damp towel on his head for now, okay?” Fixing your sweater, you glanced at the clock hanging on the wall; 9:25 PM.
“Thank you, Y/N! I owe you.”
“Yeah, yeah.” You dismissed her. “I’ll see you soon.”
Hanging up, you shuffled towards the door, calling out Yoongi’s name only to be met with silence. Deciding to shoot him a quick text instead, not knowing where he was, you slipped on a pair of shoes. Leaving the bubble you and Yoongi created, you closed the door firmly shut before setting off at a leisurely pace. Breathing in the cool air of the night, you cursed yourself for the millionth time at not being able to afford a car. The path to your destination wasn’t short, being a 45 minute walk at the least. You never liked walking in the dark; especially alone. You would have much preferred to stay in your cozy apartment, already missing the warmth of home. But nevertheless, you couldn’t very well ignore the pleas of one of your best friends.
Listening to the sounds of the night, you stared down at your feet, avoiding cracks in the pavement by habit. Leaves rustled in the soft breeze that was kissing your cheeks as the busy streets of the city could be heard even though you were quite a distance from downtown. The trickle of a river sounded in your ears, knowing you were nearing a small bridge. Stepping onto the incline, you gazed down at the water, watching the way it glided past gracefully. Daydreaming as you walked, you paid no mind to the world around you, content to stay inside your own head for the time being; at least, until your phone began to buzz wildly in your pocket. Furrowing your brow at its insistent vibrations, you pulled the device out to see your boyfriends name splayed across the screen.
Suga 10:03: Where did you go?
Suga 10:04: Seriously, you need to come back.
Suga 10:04: Now.
Suga 10:05: If you don’t reply I’m coming to find you.
Suga 10:07: I’m coming. Wherever you are, just stay put and tell me where. Don’t move.
Drawing your eyebrows together, you grew concerned with his behaviour. He was never normally like this, so why was he being so wary today? Just as you were about to type exactly that, you heard the screech of rubber on pavement.
Flicking your eyes up, you were blinded by the headlights of a car swerving directly in your direction making panic tear through you. Momentarily stunned, you did your best to dive out of the path of the car at the last second, but it wasn’t enough. Escaping the brunt of the impact, the front bumper collided with your left leg, your flesh bending in ways which it was never meant to bend. The peaceful sounds of the river were muffled by the echoing clash of the car hitting the barrier on the bridge and the bloodcurdling scream that ripped through your vocal cords as you heard the sound of your own bones snapping under the impact of the car. However, the vehicle didn’t stop there. Being a relatively small bridge, the intricate rails were no match for the power of the car, throttling both it and yourself into the rushing water below.
Plunged into the cool depths, your vision became obscure. Frantically, you tried to make out which way was up, disoriented as you saw the car sinking deeper into the abyss. Spotting the light of a street lamp, you made an attempt to kick only to cringe as pain rippled up from your leg. Glancing down, you saw that you didn’t have a clean break, but a mangled mess of flesh and bone. The gleam of a smooth, white surface peaked through a spot on your shin as blood poured out in various spots, tainting the water like acrylic paint. A red mist was beginning to surround you and alarms began to go off in your body. In spite of the agony, you tried to fight your way to the surface, though it was to no avail. Yoongi’s sodden sweater weighed heavily on your body, making you no match as blood loss was quickly taking hold. Hysterical, you wanted to scream for help, but who would hear from under water? Remembering Yoongi’s words of how he heard the thoughts of the dying, you called out for him in your head, lungs beginning to burn from the lack of oxygen. Desperately, you propelled your arms forward in the water, begging them to take you to the surface, but you began to grow weary. Limbs slowed as black spots began to cloud your vision, struggling to maintain consciousness. Reflexively, you gasped for air, water rushing into your lungs and pushing the life out of you. Your body jerked and you no longer had the will to fight, limbs shutting down on you. Stars twinkled in the sky as you raised your arm, wishing they could pull you out and save you from becoming a mere figment in a tangible world. But it was fleeting, as all that you’d ever known began to disappear from your grasp and you gave into the hand that was pulling your soul somewhere you weren’t prepared to go. The last moments you had were spent towards sending any comprehensible thought you had to the blonde boy who’d taken care of your entirety until now as you became consumed by the desolate pools of death, fading from one world to the next.
The echoing sound of the basketball bouncing off the pavement and directly back up into Yoongi’s hand was deafening in the small park. However, the noise didn’t reach Yoongi. Though he was here living and breathing, he wasn’t fully present with his head in an incomprehensible state. Desperately, he sought an escape from the memories that never seemed to cease. Hence, the basketball court. Once upon a time, this was his sanctuary; his fortitude. Something about the way he could control the ball, move it freely at his will, was calming. If only he had that luxury in everyday life. The sun cast a warm glow, lighting up everything from the food stalls nearby to the shoes on his feet, but to him the place couldn’t be more bleak. Dribbling the ball, he felt the way the leather bumps skid across his palm as he took a shot at the hoop, watching as it went in perfectly. With all the time he spent here now, it was no surprise that it did. Every day he came to the court and every day he would try to erase her, but it was easier said than done.
Even as he immersed himself in the water, he knew he was too late, but he didn’t dare stop. He knew there was no hope, but he just couldn’t give up. The laws of the world were harsh and he knew them like the back of his hand, but he hoped for the first time in a long time that somehow she had been the one person to break them. That he would find her and she’d tell him it was okay, that he didn’t kill her. But that was a mere dream.
When he finally got her out of the water, he knew that she was no exception to the rule. No matter what he tried, and god did he try; she would never be living again. He felt feeble. He’d known and yet he couldn’t stop it. He couldn’t even halt life for her. Smoothing down the tendrils of her wet hair, he placed a kiss on the fore head of her dead body. Fixing her clothes, he laid her down softly in the grass by the flowing river, whishing past them without ceasing for even a moment. Glancing around, he looked for her; the piece of that that was left at least. Late in finding her, she’d long since left here, but he knew she wouldn’t be too far and that now, it was only a count down until the real ending came.
Brushing a hand through his hair, Yoongi shook his head, trying to rid himself of thoughts of her. Lazily, he shot the ball, watching as it swirled around the hoop before going in. Trudging to retrieve it, he looked up into the sky.
Purples and soft hues of blue splashed along the horizon as Yoongi reached the top of the stairs. He needn’t search for her figure for long, as he found her right where he thought she would. Sitting atop the concrete rail of the roof of her apartment building, she’d always been affixed to this place, often commenting on how soothing it was. He paused, watching as her hair swept along her back, caught by the wind, while he recalled her sopping wet counterpart that he’d left behind for someone else to find while he searched for what really mattered; her soul. She looked serene for someone who’d just met death, gazing over the city which had begun to wake while she never would. Guilt made Yoongi’s body feel heavy as he took the first step toward her, only to be caught off guard by her voice.
“You knew, didn’t you?” The sound was delicate, as though she was scared to break him, though he knew he was already broken beyond repair.
She didn’t look at him as he came up to her side, leaning on the concrete rail. Looking over the buildings and specks of people, he wondered if she saw it like he did now; barren and desolate. “I did.”
“Ah, so that’s why you were acting so strange.” For a moment, he thought she was going to get angry with him, but she merely smiled, letting out a weak laugh. “I knew it was you that would come. I don’t think I’d be able to do this with anyone else.”
His heart softened at her words, though he couldn’t return her sentiments when he knew that she shouldn’t have even had to do this at all. Part of him had expected, perhaps even wanted, her to hold malice toward him and when she didn’t, he grew even angrier with himself. In his mind, the fault was his own. His hands curled in upon themselves, while he cursed himself for never telling her or giving her the time to prepare herself for what was to come; for being a coward. He was the reason she still lingered here, burdened with the task of getting through everything that she could have already made peace with before leaving him for good. If he had only had the courage to tell her, she would have already moved onto a place he could only dream of. But he didn’t. Seemingly sensing his self-destruction, she placed her hand over his.
“I don’t blame you, Yoongi.” She whispered the words he needed most to hear, as he thought bitterly about how she shouldn’t be the one comforting him at a time like this. Hanging his head, he dared not let her see the twisted expression of grief on his face as her touch made him come undone. Her fingertips, now lacking the warmth of the living and holding the same cool temperature as his own, flittered over his skin to rest at the base of his neck. “I know why you did it and honestly, I would’ve done the same if it meant more time with you. I couldn’t of said goodbye to you either.”
Remembering the way she’d held him that day, he still felt the same disgust which never seemed to fade. Despite all of her reassurances, Yoongi could never forgive himself for being so weak. He knew she never blamed him, but he blamed himself. Dribbling the ball, his hands grew more forceful, the sounds of the basketball hitting the ground growing sharper. Whatever pain she had after her death, was also placed on Yoongi, except it was weaved heavily with remorse. His selfishness was the root of her suffering and for that; he’d never be able to atone for.
“M-mom.” Her voice cracked as they watched the woman placing food down on a table for people who had gathered at the house for a holiday. Y/N fumbled over herself, the shock of seeing her mom making her forget about the logistics of their world. Reaching out, her hand slipped through her mother’s body, never able to actually touch her.
This was the part Yoongi always tended to hate. It’s hard to remember that the world doesn’t stop moving once a person dies because by all means, it does stop for them. Once loved ones begin to resume their lives, it’s like watching them get erased from the world altogether as people start to be able to prosper without them. It didn’t matter how strong of a person they were or how their relationship was with that person at the time of their death; it always hurt to see that you weren’t needed anymore.
Y/N was no exception. She’d done amazingly well when it came to her friends, but seeing her family hit much closer to home. Yoongi observed on as Y/N followed her family around the room, watching them talk with guests until it all began to become too much for her. Finally she began to break as her father couldn’t even see his child grasping for his side.
“Dad,” she cried, tears spilling down her cheeks as her father drank and laughed jovially, unable to see his own flesh and blood begging for attention. “Dad, please.”
Unable to stand to the side idly any longer, Yoongi came to her. Kneeling, he smoothed a hand along her back, waiting until she’d begun to sob into his chest to take her elsewhere. Within a fraction of a second, he’d taken them to the cliff of a mountain where the sea beat against the base of rocks at the bottom. The sounds of laughter and mindless chatter disappeared into the sounds of the sea, only interrupted by the grief that wracked through her whole body, making her shake in Yoongi’s arms. Here, he let her crumble into him, once again reminding him just how cataclysmic the repercussions of life could be.
Bouncing the ball back and forth, the park began to grow quiet, nearing the end of the day. The sun still hadn’t fully decent; emitting enough light that Yoongi could make out the area around him without aid but dark enough that vendors had begun to turn on their neon lights. He looked on as people said their goodbyes, others only meeting now. He felt a misplaced sense of pity for them; none of them knew that it wouldn’t last. Their world would topple in on itself just as everyone else’s did; whether by a traumatic event or by the hand of death, nothing would last. As Yoongi had come to realize, every hello was only made to create a goodbye.
There was a reason that Yoongi was named Suga, one that he didn’t elaborate on. There was no need to, as it was evident in his actions. Yoongi treated Y/N just like how he carried out his work with everyone else, mainly because he didn’t know how to do so any differently. Many reapers took different strategies at escorting people on, and his was one of care. His tactics were simple, effective in their own way; he simply did what they wanted to do. Usually it was dangerous to take the dead to their families or let them do the things they didn’t get to in life, but Yoongi couldn’t say no. He took care of those tasked to him, never pushing the soul into anything and letting them take their time to move on, hence the sweet name. He was a comforting guide, only forceful when he absolutely had to be.
This case was no exception, besides his own emotional investment. Whatever she asked, he would do it. By now she had seen many different places of the world, spanning from the Eiffel Tower to the Great Wall of China. Following the meeting with her parents, it was like nothing hurt her anymore. She wore a smile everywhere she went, acting as though this was all just a new adventure for her, which in a way it was. She was determined to do anything she wasn’t able to do before and Yoongi wondered distantly if they could keep on like that forever. If maybe he could make her like him and they could go on as they had for as long as the earth turned. Though it was his job to make her happy or content, he found that she was the one doing it for him. Now more than ever, he felt so close to her that he could barely contain it and she seemed to too. Their days were never boring, going here there and everywhere until she asked to go to one place that made him freeze up like a statue. Though his soul begged him to deny her of her request, he agreed because he’s Suga.
As soon as the grey headstone appeared in front of them, a scowl was plastered on his face. Silently, he stood by as she went up to the grave, running her fingers over the letters of her own name .It seemed like hours until she finally stood up, swivelling to face him. It was then that he saw the tears, fresh on her face as they rolled down her plump cheeks. Slowly, her outline began to fade, the edges of her body becoming smeared and Yoongi knew. Dread filled him from top to bottom, knowing that with the sorry look on her face, the time he had feared most had come.
“Yoongi…” her voice was like wind chimes, ringing in his ears as he shuffled toward her, taking a fading hand in his. “I-I think it’s time.”
“Can’t you stay? We’ll make it work somehow…” Yoongi trailed off, knowing that the words slipping past his lips were impossible.
A sad smile adorned her face when she spoke again, “we both know I can’t.”
Nodding solemnly, Yoongi wanted to kick and scream. To create a fuss like a child and steal her away for himself, but he knew he couldn’t. Though he knew it would come to an end eventually, it still hurt. She had renewed hope in his life and now he had to watch it dissipate in front of his eyes, doomed to be left behind. Remaining silent, Yoongi bent to give her a kiss on the lips, knowing that there was nothing left to say; she couldn’t stay and he couldn’t say goodbye.
Locking lips, he poured himself into her; throwing all his wishes, hopes, and dreams into the kiss and praying for her to keep them safe because he wasn’t sure he could anymore. Winding his arm around her waist, the other came up to cradle her head, crushing her to him just so that he knew she was still with him. Desperately, his hands slid over the valleys over her body, attempting to remember exactly how she felt in his arms in that moment. The way her ribcage pressed into his own, the way she tasted while intoxicating him with her lips, the way little exhales would leave her mouth when his hands ran over certain parts of her body; he wanted to remember it all. Sliding his tongue into her mouth, she gave him just as much passion back even through the tears that slipped past her eyelids. Fisting her hand in the fabric of his shirt, she clung to him until he felt the grip on him beginning to go slack. As he held her, he felt the curves of her body becoming softer, like holding water as it spilling through the cracks of his hands. Pulling away, he softly kissed the tracks of tears on her cheeks. Letting go, he stepped back, admiring every part of her for what he knew was the last time. He took in everything from the way her hair slipped over her shoulder to the way her lips looked swollen and red from his touch; blinking as though taking photographs of each individual part so that he could never forget how she looked in this moment— beautiful.
“I love you.” His voice cracked as he spoke, but he didn’t care.
It didn’t take long for her to realize that this was his goodbye, her eyes letting more tears fall as she replied with a choked, “I love you too, Yoongi.”
As the core of her body began to fade, she stepped toward him. Cupping his cheek, her touch felt feather light at this point, on the brink of disappearing into billions of particles. Leaning into her caress he felt what was left of him cracking, fracturing into pieces when she leaned up and whispered into his ear, “Promise me you’ll let go too.”
Before he could open his mouth to reply, she faded completely, leaving nothing behind but her soul. Gleaming white, the ball of light hovered before him before sinking into the ground. Nothing obstructed Yoongi’s view of her gravestone any longer, the only thing left of her that he could cherish now. Lowering his body to the grass, he wondered when she figured it out; that he was just like those demons he’d told her of, merely a different type. Her words were simple and easy, but much harder in practice. Crushing his palms into his eyes, he choked on his emotion, feeling completely and utterly alone. Just like everyone else, she went to the one place where Yoongi couldn’t follow no matter how much he sought after it.
The heart is a stubborn mechanism, and despite how much you may try to sway it, it forges a path of its own. For Yoongi, that path was Y/N and now that she was gone, his heart reached an impasse. Each face that passed him, was Y/N. Each time he swished the ball he heard the soft exhale of pleasure she use to make when he touched her. When the ball hit the backboard, he heard her laugh. Each time it smacked at the pavement, a new fragment of her would reappear before his eyes. Slam. Her eye-crinkling smile, shining brightly just for him. Slam. Her hair flowing in the breeze as they sat close enough on the Ferris wheel that he could feel her breathing against him. Slam. Her skin cold and dripping with beads of moisture as he desperately tried to pump the life back into her…
Finally, it was all too much for Yoongi. Turmoil began to boil over and the threads of his heart snapped, throwing the basketball at the backboard with all the strength he had. When it collided with the glass, a sound like a bullet being fired rang clear through the park. Quickly following was an enraged scream muddled with anguish, making any manufactured light in his vicinity surge while some burst from the raw power. Sinking to a crouch, Yoongi didn’t care that the backboard was now shattered in the place where he’d thrown the ball. He couldn’t even bring himself to hide himself from the petrified beady eyes of those that had witnessed his outburst.
For a while, he blamed himself for her death, thinking that if he just hadn’t take that one call, that she’d still be in his arms. That he should’ve known better, even if the counter beside her name had been at zero for hours. For years, Yoongi had known that fate was written out for you. There were twists and turns, but the end would always remain the same and he was a fool to believe a mere reaper such as him could change the way the page turned.
Pushing his hands into his hair, he pulled at the strands in frustration. He couldn’t do it anymore; he couldn’t carry on watching people die day after day. After having witnessed friends, family, lovers all pass him by as the continued their journey, he ached to do the same. The wounds on his body were not what ailed him; it was his soul, tired and begging to finally be at rest. Before he’d met her, Yoongi had become to be content with what seemed to be his inevitable path, knowing that he would remain here for eternity to cart people to where the afterlife truly began. But Y/N changed that. He wanted to fulfill the promise she asked him to keep, he wanted to meet her on the shores of whatever it was that he showed everyone but himself to. For the first time in a long time, Yoongi didn’t want to run anymore, reaching the end of his marathon. From the beginning he’d ran; ran from life, ran from death, ran from love. After all that time running, he didn’t know how to stop.
Untangling his hands from his hair, he became startled when he saw bone where flesh should be. Hoseoks words echoed in his head, ‘it won’t be long until you start showing signs…’ He’d heard stories of what happened when reapers neglected their purpose, but now he knew the stories were true. Since Y/N passed, he couldn’t bring himself to do his job anymore, unwilling to say goodbye to even one more person. Twittering his fingers in the dim light, he knew the danger of what he was doing, but he didn’t care. They said that reapers could move on, but not to the same place as other souls because theirs would be too tainted to exist among them. The pain was also notable, as the process of leaving not as simple as before because after taking up the scythe, your soul was meant to stay on the plain between the living and the dead. However, as Yoongi stared at the knuckles of his skeletal hands, he realized simply didn’t give a shit. Though it would cause him agony and he may not even end up where all of his loved ones had gone, he didn’t want to stay. From here on out he’d create a new path for himself; on.
Folktales and lore were all that were ever passed between reapers, as none could truly see what lay beyond. Living blindly was a helpful part of their job, able to continue to believe that where they were was the best place they could be after giving up their chance to leave. People who became reapers were those who couldn’t leave; those who loved life too much to part with it just as other demons shared the same sentiments. However, reapers were people who held sway, ranging from those with the art of persuasion to those with seduction. In the end, they all feared the same thing they were tasked to cradle; death. Most often, reapers would stay for as long as they could, very few ever willing to go through the gruelling process of passing through to another realm. It wasn’t unheard of though, a handful of names belonged to that category; including a certain blonde haired reaper.
Others watched as they withered away, hardly able to move when they became more and more like a skeleton with each passing day. No one really knew what happened at the end of the process, some saying they just become bones, while others said they crumble to dust and no one would come to know as it was taboo to associate with them. Others would call them insane and whisper about how they wouldn’t even be able to reach where they wanted because all reapers were doomed to go to an afterlife of punishment for betraying nature. However, it was these people that would never discover the truth and live on with a blindfold drawn over their eyes.
The road to a reapers end was long and piercing, but it didn’t change the outcome of anything these few reapers would come to know. When the world faded and their limbs turned to ash, a brilliant light would be there to greet them. The suffering of their second life would be lead out of the darkness by their third. All wounds washed away by the waters of rebirth, they’d know their torment was not for nothing, but for an entirely new world where there was no more pain to taint the heart. All of their sins and hesitance forgiven, they’d be welcomed with open arms to the end of all things, the faces of all those they’d helped to reach this place there to thank them for remaining resilient for so long. For some the end this was the earth itself, for others it was loved ones. For a certain blonde boy, it was the arms of the one he treasured above all, holding him for all eternity as she cradled his heart like he’d cradled hers, becoming one once again.