A Happy Golden Surrounded By Golden Leaves

A happy golden surrounded by golden leaves

(via)

Loyalty that surpasses the stars. I have a lot of feelings about space and Laika  Patreon

I'm sorry for the rant, and I know this isn't what I usually post about, but I'm just... done.

I already wrote about my step-father's opinion on my mental problems over a year ago. Well this lovely man is now living with us again. It started with him not even acknowledging me, unless I did something he didn't approve of, then it gradually went downhill from there. At this point I don't feel welcome in what I thought was my home and am reluctant to leave campus and visit even on weekends.

This is bad because of two main reasons.

Firstly, because that's the one place where I truly feel at ease and spending time there, with my dogs, helps an immense amount. But the fact that I can't go join them in the living room without getting angry or annoyed glances and mutters from my step-father is slowly making me feel ostracised and incredibly alone in my own 'home'. I'd rather stay on campus. At least there I don't have to tip toe into the kitchen for water / food.

Secondly, my mum is guilt tripping me into going back anyways, assuring me to no end that that IS my home and constantly saying, in a hurt voice, that it pains her to see us feud and that the tension is awful - but only when we are alone and I think only to me. While not friendly, I have been nothing but polite to my step-father the whole time, I am at a loss at what else I could do to ease the situation.

We talked a bit about it today (before she shut me down, saying she is 'not in the mood') and one thing is clear: my step-father still believes that I am lying about my condition and that I'm just manipulating everybody, especially my mother. He still believes that I'm a deadbeat, spoiled brat, who is whining and avoiding responsibilities while using my diagnosis as an excuse.

I'm tired.

I want to talk to him, I want to talk to my mother. I want to talk this shit out, but it'd be a miracle if I ever get them to sit down with me.

This is why I absolutely LOVE Tumblr

hey gamers

A compilation of our Labrador (Maci) stealing our Fox Terrier's (Szilke) doggy bed

❤

He does have his own plush mattress btw, but his big sister's place is always the best