ANGST

ANGST😍

(I love it.)

Between Two Worlds | One Shot

Anon Request: Trent fic x "Chihiro - Billie Eilish"

genre: angsty af warnings: pregnant reader, relationship issues wc: ~1.8k a/n: ngl this made me want to cry lol i will be taking time to create the filthiest smut anyone has ever read to lift our spirits 🫡

The bathroom door slammed shut with a force that shook the door frame. You locked it without thinking, your fingers trembling as you slid down on the cold tile floor. Your heart was pounding in your chest as your breaths came in short gasps. You were fighting to keep yourself together, but there was no use. The tears spilled down your cheeks in thick, angry streams as you pressed a hand to your mouth to stifle your sobs behind the closed door that separated you from Trent. He had no idea why you were falling apart. 

Your stomach twisted from the nausea that had been gnawing at you for days, holding a secret that was too heavy for you to handle alone. You had a realization that things may never change, no matter how many times you tried to convince yourself that you and Trent were just going through a rough patch. He didn’t see you anymore..at least not in the way he used to.

You tried to breathe through your tears, wiping your face. Constant fatigue, nausea, and the feeling of being alone made you feel like an anchor was weighing you down. Like you were being pulled under. You wanted to tell him so badly, but you also hoped that he would notice the changes himself. You prayed he would ask you why you were so tired and distant, but he never did.

You were pregnant, and the father of your child was completely oblivious–too caught up in his own damn world to notice yours had been permanently turned upside down.

“Y/N!” Trent’s voice came in from the other side of the door, riddled with concern. “Open the door please. We need to talk.”

Your chest tightened at the sound of his voice but you couldn’t bring yourself to answer him. You were too tired..too broken. You grazed your hand over the barely there bump that you hadn’t really had time to process just yet. It was so early, but it felt like the secret had been eating you alive for months. 

“Y/N…” Trent called again softly, like he was trying not to scare you. “Please talk to me baby..what’s wrong? Tell me.”

A bitter laugh escaped your lips. Talk. All he ever wanted to talk about these days was everything and everyone, besides the two of you. 

Besides you. 

You pulled your knees up to your chest, resting your forehead against them as tears continued to stream down your face. The weight of everything was pressing down on you and it felt like you were suffocating. You wanted to open the door and let him in, but at the same time you didn't know how to face him. How were you supposed to tell him you were pregnant with his child when he couldn’t even notice you were falling apart? 

“I’m not leaving until you talk to me Y/N..” he sighed, his voice closer now as if he was pressing his forehead against the door trying to reach you through it. “Please baby..I hate seeing you like this.” You took a deep shaky breath, feeling your throat and face burn from sobbing so much. “Why?” you choked out. “Why do you care all of a sudden?”

There was a long pause at first, and then you heard him exhale like he had been punched in the gut. “What?? I do care. I love you Y/N…” The words hung between you like a lifeline, but you were too afraid to reach for it.

Love

That’s what he was saying but was that really what this was? How could he say he loves you when he didn’t even notice your world was crumbling? How could he say that when you spent the last couple of weeks terrified, without him asking you what’s wrong?

“You don’t see me anymore Trent” you whispered in a trembling voice. “I’m always here and you don’t even see me. It’s like I’m a ghost to you.” The silence was deafening. He was standing on the other side of the door, trying to make sense of what you just said to him. “But I do see you baby..” he said finally, voice thick with confusion and guilt. “I just..I’ve been distracted I guess. With footie and everything. It’s hard to balance all this.”

Distracted

That word felt like a slap in the face to you.

“Have you noticed how long it’s been since you asked me how I’m doing??” you asked, the words spilling out of your mouth as you continued to cry. “You haven’t even noticed something is wrong with me…” Trent went quiet again before speaking. “I didn’t know,” he said in a strained voice. “I thought…” You cut him off, feeling your anger bubble up to the surface. “You didn’t know because you didn’t care enough to fucking find out! I’ve been tired, throwing up, and you just…you didn’t notice at all. You never fucking notice.” There was another pause, this time longer and heavier. 

His voice was laced with confusion. “What are you talking about Y/N? Are you okay?” Your stomach twisted up as you felt a wave of nausea flare up again. Your hand instinctively went to your stomach to try and steady yourself. You knew you needed to tell him.. he deserved to know. But how were you supposed to trust him to be there if he was barely there now? You took a deep breath, wiping the tears from your face as you began to speak. “I’m pregnant, Trent.”

Your heart pounded in your chest waiting for his response. The only thing you could hear for a while was the sound of your breathing and the thud of your heartbeat through your ears. Finally, you heard him shift on the other side of the door. “You’re pregnant??” he repeated, his voice sounded like he was struggling to comprehend the words you had just told him. You nodded, even though he couldn't see you. “I found out a couple of weeks ago when you were out of town..I’ve been so scared.”

He exhaled and you could hear the guilt in his breath. “Y/N..I didn’t know. Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Your tears slowed but the ache you felt in your chest was still so unbearable. “I didn’t know how. You’re so focused on everything else..I really didn’t think it would make that much of a difference.”

“I should've been there for you..really been there. I didn’t know baby. I’m sorry.” You let his apology wash over you. Those were the words you were waiting to hear for a long time, but now that you did, the words didn’t feel as comforting as you thought they would. Words and apologies didn’t hold much weight anymore. Trent needed to show action. 

“I–ugh. Fuck. I just don’t know if things will change.” you said in a trembling voice. “I can’t keep fucking feeling like this. I love you, I really do. But it doesn't feel like you love me anymore. You don’t show it.” You were terrified of what he might say, terrified that he may agree with you. When he finally spoke, his voice was desperate. “Y/N. What the hell? I do love you. I love you so much. I know I messed up..I haven’t been here. But I’m here now. I wanna fix this. I wanna be there for you and our baby. Please…just let me in.”

Your heart ached at the weight of his words as you bit your lip. You wanted to believe things would change and he would be there for you this time, but you had been down this road before plenty of times. And every time, it felt like you were the only one who was really trying.

But you loved him. 

And despite everything, the love was still there, flickering in the darkness like a weak flame. 

You pushed yourself up from the floor as you made your way to unlock the door. The click echoed through the bathroom walls as you took a deep breath before opening it. Trent was standing there, his face filled with anguish. “I’m so sorry baby.” he whispered as he stood closer to you, his hands reaching for yours. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there but I’m here now. I swear I’ll do better.”

“I don’t know if I can trust that Trent,” you whispered in a barely audible voice. “I’m scared I’ll keep waiting for you..and you’ll slip away.” He gripped your hands tightly as if he was afraid to let you go, as if you would vanish entirely if he did. “I’ve been selfish, I’ll admit that. I let you down Y/N. But I swear I’ll do whatever it takes. I can’t lose you, not now, not ever.” You searched his face, looking for a trace of the man you missed–the one that was always present, so loving, and attentive. You knew there were glimpses of him still buried under the exterior he built, but was that enough to believe the old him would come back to you?

“I’ve been doing this alone for so long Trent” you said, your voice trembling. “I didn’t think you’d care.”

“I care, baby.” he said, his voice starting to break. “ I’m sorry I made you feel like that. I can’t take it back, but I’m here. For you. For our baby.”

His hand gently moved  to your stomach, your breath catching. This was the first time he touched you since you told him you were pregnant, the first time he acknowledged there was a little life growing inside of you. His fingers were warm against your soft skin, trembling slightly as he rested them on your belly. You took a deep breath, placing your hand over his. For a moment, you both just stood there, the silence was still heavy but it wasn’t unbearable. You wanted to believe that he’d be the man you needed, and the father your child deserved.

But there was still so much uncertainty. 

So much fear.

“I’m really scared...” you admitted. He pulled you closer to him as his arms wrapped around you tightly. “I’m scared too,” he whispered. “I’ll fight for you though. I can’t promise I’ll be perfect but I’m gonna try.. every day.” You closed your eyes, leaning into him as you let the weight of his words settle. 

It wasn’t a guarantee. It wasn’t a promise of ‘happily ever after’. But it was something. It was a start.

For now, that was all you could ask for.

You pulled back slightly with your eyes meeting his, “Okay..we’ll try again” you whispered.

Trent relaxed his shoulders, his grip on you loosening enough to pull you into a kiss that was so gentle, like he was afraid to push too hard. You let yourself melt into the kiss, believing that maybe things would get better. 

Not perfect. But better.

You imagined a future where he was by your side not just in words, but in action. 

It was enough..

Enough to try again.

I totally agree

What type of fics do you prefer to read the most

I love me some angst 😮‍💨 I don‘t really love to read/write fluff

But I low-key search for angst and dramatic, forbidden love kinda fics. These hit the best

I have a couple requests that I'm currently writing right now so while you guys wait, here's a little something to snack on. Enjoy😉

What's For Dinner

Masterlist

𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚 — Jude come home and fucks you in the kitchen

𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 — Jude Bellingham x you

𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 — 2.9k

Warnings! NSFW! SMUT (18+), unprotected vaginal sex, oral sex (f receiving), rough sex, the slightest pussy slap, kitchen sex, multiple orgasms, dom!Jude, sub!reader.

"Fuck, baby" Jude pants right into your pussy making you whimper. "Am I making you feel good?."

You nod. Not that he could see from where he had his face buried in your cunt. 

You're sprawled, spread out on the kitchen counter like a decadent meal as your boyfriend ate you out. His tongue flickered in and out of your folds opening you up. 

When you don't answer him, he slows down his movements making you whine in need. He lifts his head to look at you through hooded eyes and gently smacks his palm down on your clit.

"Answer me," he warns, his hand snaking up to squeeze your breast through your(his) shirt. His other hand slowly dips into your heat. You can't help the moan that escapes from your lips. His tongue licks at his lips which are shiny from your juices as he watches your face. "Tell me you like it." He whispers seductively as he rubs your swollen nub. 

You can't help the way your back arches off the counter as he slips one then two fingers in your hole. "I like it," You gasp out. "Please, Jude, please don't stop." You beg him. 

He gives you a devilish smirk as he bends down takes your clit in his mouth sucking hard and bites down softly. You nearly come undone right there.

It was Saturday night and you were supposed to be making dinner. Jude had just come home from a long day of training. All he wanted was to go home, eat and cuddle with his girl.

But you had to fuck him up.

There you were standing in front of the stove, hips swaying to the song you had playing on the speaker. Not noticing his tall figure behind you completely unaware. Torturously reminding him of the heaven between your legs. Taunting him with the tight wet heat it promised. 

He felt himself grow hard at the thought of it. At the thought of wrecking you on that kitchen counter. His dick was already aching and weeping at the chance to be inside of you. 

You were sautéing the vegetables when you felt strong arms wrap around your waist from behind. The familiar scent of his cologne enveloped you, a blend of cedarwood and vanilla that always brought a smile to your lips.

His breath was warm against your neck, sending a shiver down your spine despite the heat radiating from the stove.

"Smells amazing," he rasped, pressing his hips into your back allowing you to feel his already growing bulge. You jump at his touch not hearing him come in but then relaxed in his hold.

"Jude!" you laughed, turning around to face him. His dark eyes sparkled with mischief, and his grin was impossibly charming, the kind that could melt even the sternest resolve. "You scared me," you scolded lightly, though the warmth in your voice betrayed any real annoyance.

"Did I?" he murmurs, his lips brushing lightly against your ear. The sensation sends another shiver through you, and you feel a warmth pooling in your panties.

You tilt your head slightly, giving him better access, and he takes the invitation gladly. His kisses trail from your ear down to the curve of your neck, each one making it harder to concentrate on the task at hand.

His fingers danced along your waist, tracing the curve of your hip before sliding up under your shirt to rest on your stomach. "What are you making?" he asks, his voice low and husky, sending another wave of warmth through you that had nothing to do with the cooking.

You turned slightly, catching a glimpse of his face out of the corner of your eye. The way his dark eyes glimmered with affection made your heart skip a beat. "your favorite," His hands moved higher, gently grazing your ribs, causing you to squirm.

"Yeah? This all for me?" His breath is warm against your neck, lips grazing your neck.

It wasn't long until he had you on the counter feasting on your pussy instead. Slurping up your juices and reducing you to a sobbing mess. Desecrating your kitchen, your eating place with your wet warm slick. Something that would disgust a decent person but just turned him on and spurred him to dig deeper with his tongue. 

This was all your fault really. How could he resist you, in the kitchen covered in hickeys, the ones he had left on you this morning, wearing only his shirt and your panties.

His chest swelled with pride knowing that he was the one who had done this to you. His sweet innocent girlfriend. He loved ruining you for anyone else. Loved the fact that he was the only one to have. To see you like this.

Jude fucking loved it.

Seeing the evidence of his work on display on your soft squishy body drivng him crazy since he walked through the door, until he couldn't take it anymore.

He had to have you. Wanted to take you again immediately but no. Not right now.

Right now he was going to finish his meal first.

So here you were, legs spread on the kitchen counter as you rode his face letting out the sweetest noises and singing his praises. Letting him defile you with his deft and sinful tongue. You moaned, a broken desperate sound grinding your hips against his mouth seeking more pleasure.

Jude lapped up your juices eagerly, his hands gripping your ass to keep you in place as he feasted on your cunt. "Oh God," You gasp out. "Oh fuck." You groan louder, "Jude." The way your voice trembles made him groan in pleasure, his cock twitching with the need to get inside of you. His thumb found its way back to your clit circling it over and over again.

"Baby, baby, baby." You chant out, your hands tangling in his coily hair. Your hips moving on their own accord riding his tongue like the best ride in the world. He hums into your cunt and your vision goes blurry as pleasure shoots through you, your orgasm making you feel weightless. You feel yourself fall but Jude holds you tight keeping you close.

"Good girl," he praises you as you come down from your high. He lifts his head to look at you with a satisfied smile on his lips. He knew he could make you feel good. He knew what you needed.

Jude smirks at you, his eyes glinting in the kitchen lighting. Your juices glistened on his chin and he licked it off without missing a beat, savoring your taste. His fingers left you with a satisfied pop, and he wipes them clean on his shorts.

God, you wanted him so bad. Deep inside you.

And he was more than happy to oblige straightening himself and pulling out his dick. 

Jude stroked himself a few times slicking his member up with your slick. His dick was aching having been neglected for the whole day. It was hard as a rock with a bead of pre-cum forming at the tip. He rubbed it in, coating the head in your cum.

He leaned over to you, your legs still open and wrapped around him, pulling you closer to him. His eyes looked deep into yours as he positioned himself at your entrance. He grinned, the smile on his face making you melt into a puddle.

"I can't wait to fuck this pussy." He says, rubbing his tip on your clit. Gathering some of your wetness on last time before slowly pushing in. Jude moaned as he slid in, inch by delicious inch.

You cry out in shock, your body stretching to accommodate his size. Your cunt is dripping and ready for him and he slides in easily. You're so fucking wet for him.

You arch your back into his touch. "Yes, Jude. Please." You beg him as you grip his shoulders tightly. Your nails digging into his skin as you cling to him.

It took all his concentration and willpower not to cum right then and there. He took a moment to let you both get used to the stretch before carefully pulling out till only the tip remained before slamming back inside.

"Oh fuck baby! You're so tight, so warm. So wet." His voice was full of awe. "You're so fucking perfect." He praised as he continued to move. His movements slow and languid, savoring the feel of your tight walls around him. The way he had you pinned between the counter and his body. The way he could control your pleasure.

He sped up his thrusts, hitting all the right spots as he fucked you senseless. Your moans were music to his ears and he revelled in it. He grunted with every thrust, pushing deeper inside of you. His breathing was heavy as he fucked you into the counter. The sounds of skin slapping and your moans filled the air.

He took you like that on the kitchen counter. Taking you with rough, hard thrusts until he had you screaming for him, until your screams echoed through the house. Your fingers digging into his back as your legs wrapped around him, pulling him closer to you.

You made all sorts of sweet noises, moaning your ass off not worried about being heard. Jude thrilled at that. Hearing you let loose without a care in the world and his chest swelled with delight. 

He drilled your sweet hole, slowing down his thrusts to grind your walls before changing the pace up again and pounding you hard. It drove you crazy and he loved seeing his girl going wild with pleasure like this especially when it added to his as well. 

"Baby," he panted. "Tell me how how much you love my cock!"

You tried to answer but your words kept getting interrupted by his fierce thrusts. "Ju-Jude! I love-love it!"

Jude moaned and bent down to kiss your pretty little mouth luxuriating in their softness and the beautiful sounds that spilled from them. 

You were so fucking sexy. 

The love of his life, lying beneath him all soft and pliant, all for him. All his. So sinfully sweet and deplorably thirsty for his dick. Canting your hips so he slipped deeper inside you and begging both with your body and mouth for more.

More of him. For him to bury deeper inside and burst you full with his cum. How could he ever get enough of you when you acted like this every time you had sex. How could he ever resist your temptations when you looked this beautiful spread out beneath him.

No wonder he hadn't stopped fucking you ever since your first time.

He fucked you so good. Fucking your tight cunt, taking you like an animal in heat. He fucked you so hard you could feel him in your stomach, your soul. You're so fucking full of him. His cock was so hard and hot inside you, filling you up.

He was fucking you like a whore, using your body for his pleasure. And you loved every moment of it. Every second he had your legs up, pounding your pussy. You're a mess, completely ruined.

"I'm gonna cum, Jude. I'm cumming." You gasp out, your hands running down his back, nails digging into his skin, leaving your mark. Jude groaned, his movements becoming more frantic as you tightened around his cock, your orgasm starting to wash over you.

"Fuck! Baby!" Jude cursed as your pussy clenched around him. Your muscles contracting around his dick, milking him for everything he had. The sensation was so strong it nearly knocked him over the edge.

You moaned out in pleasure, your body limp as you rode your orgasm out. Your body shuddering with pleasure, your pussy twitching around him. Jude looked at you in awe.

God he loved you so much. He loved the way your body responded to him. The way you were putty in his hands, giving him the power to bring you to heights of pleasure. The way you clung to him as your body shook with ecstasy.

"Shit baby," He grunts out, his movements becoming jerky. "You're making me cum." He groans as his orgasm builds up in him. His hands are holding your ass tighter, pulling you closer to him. The way he had you pinned against the counter made it impossible for you to move.

He was deep inside you, his balls slapping against your ass. His eyes never left yours as he fucked you through his orgasm. His breathing heavy, his mouth hanging open. Your pussy twitched around his dick milking him of all his cum. He shuddered in your hold.

"Ah fuck, sweetheart. You're so good." His voice was rough from his climax. His thrusts slow down as he empties his seed deep inside of you. You moaned out in pleasure at the feeling of his hot cum filling you up.

"Jude." You whimpered as you felt yourself getting filled with his seed. He was so hot, so thick and it felt like it was going to spill out of you any moment. His dick twitched inside you, his cock still hard and full even after emptying himself inside of you.

He was still rock-hard and still pumping away at your pussy. Your head fell back and you arched your back into his touch, pushing your breasts closer to him. He obliged, taking a nipple in his mouth sucking gently.

"Jude!" You gasp out. "It feels too good." You mewl, trying to push him away but he's too strong. His hands grip you tight. "Too sensitive." You whine. "Stop! Please."

"You can't take it?" He whispers, licking his lips. "You can't take my big dick, baby?" His voice is low and husky.

You can feel his dick twitch inside you at his words. Your pussy spasms in response to his taunts and he grunts out in pleasure.

Jude thrusts a few more times, his movements becoming languid before slowly pulling out of you. You whimper as his dick slides out of you, his seed following suit. He pulls back to look at you. Your legs still open for him. Your cunt on full display. A mess of our juices mixed together.

You looked beautiful like this. Spread out on the counter, a mess from his lovemaking. His eyes travel down to your pussy, taking in the sight of his cum leaking out of your hole. Your pussy was stretched out and red from his pounding. He grins at the sight.

"Fuck," he whispers, his voice full of awe. "Look at that." You follow his gaze to your cunt. It's still dripping from your orgasm. Jude pulls you closer, your legs instinctively wrapping around his waist. He held you as you both come down and you wrap your arms around him happy to be held.

Once he calmed down he kissed you deeply and passionately and you responded just as eagerly. You kind of stay there making out lazily for awhile before you remembered about dinner.

Placing one more soft peck on your lips, Jude set you down, grinning as you wobble on your feet. "What a welcome," he laughs as he takes you in his arms, nuzzling your neck. "I think I'm going to like coming home more often." You slap him on the chest laughing at his antics and he gives you a goofy grin before kissing you again.

The kitchen smelled like sex. You were covered in sweat and cum. Your thighs sticky from his release. You're sore but you can't help but feel satisfied. It's been a while since he's taken you this rough, this wild. You missed it.

"Are you okay? Was I too rough?" Jude asks, his expression turning serious.

You shake your head. "No. It was perfect." You assure him, smiling softly.

He gives you a sheepish grin, his eyes sparkling with warmth. "Good." He kisses you once more.

You sigh happily, content. "I love you," you whisper as he continues to pepper kisses on your neck.

"I love you too, sweetheart," he responds, his voice low and husky. "Now come on." He laughs as he lets you go. "Let's get you cleaned up?" In one swift movement you were back in his arms, bridal style. "And then I'll finish dinner."

You squeal as you're picked up. "I'm supposed to cook tonight, babe!" You laugh.

"Ah, but you were otherwise occupied," Jude retorts. "Besides, I want to take care of you tonight." You melt at his words. How could you resist him? "Plus you deserve a break." He says as he heads out the door. "You've had a long day too." He smirks at the last words, remebering this morning and what you just did.

You laugh, hitting him on the chest. "Stop it." You're blushing, burying your head into his neck.

"How did I get so lucky?" He asks, his voice filled with reverence above you

You smile agaisnt his skin. "You didn't." Your words come out slightly muffled, placing a soft kiss on his neck. "I'm the lucky one." And you were lucky to have him. Lucky to be loved and cherished by him. He was the best boyfriend in the world. And you were going to make sure he knows it.

"I'm not complaining," Jude smirks at you before giving you a quick peck on the lips. "Alright, let's get you cleaned up." He bounces you up a bit in his arms making you squeal with laughter. Melting his heart. "Or else we'll be having takeout for dinner." He smiles down at you one last time before bolting upstairs.

-Bianca🌻

What type of boyfriend do you think jude would be?

omg i wanted to write this for so long🥹🥹🥹

Jude is the kind of boyfriend who’s always looking for excuses to be close to you. He loves wrapping his arms around your waist from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder, and planting soft kisses on your neck when you least expect it. He LOVES physical touch.

Jude spoils you in every way he can. The moment you mention liking something, he’s already planning how to surprise you with it. It’s his way of showing that he listens and cares about every little thing that makes you happy.

Jude is the kind of boyfriend who remembers the little things. He’ll surprise you with your favorite snack when you’re having a bad day or put on the playlist you love when you’re driving together.

He loves to tease you and he’s got the best humor. He sends you LOTS of memes everyday and he gets so mad when you don’t watch them🥹🥹

“why didn’t you watch the videos i sent you??”

“Sorry baby i forgot…”

“😡😡😡”

Jude is the kind of boyfriend who’ll stay up late with you, even if he’s tired, just to talk about anything and everything. 

Baby are you sleepy? We can sleep and talk tomorrow”

“No no, baby. Please just talk and i’ll listen”

He would do anything not to fall asleep but he would end up doing it when he is very tired, and that’s so cute…🥹🥹

He doesn’t really know how to cook, but whenever you want to bake something, he’s right there to support you. He’ll grab whatever you need from the fridge and, even if he’s not cooking, he’ll wear the kitchen apron and hat just for you. It’s adorable.🙏🏻🥹

He loves giving you flowers and takes genuine joy in taking care of them. You can imagine how excited he gets when it’s time to water them, making sure they’re okay🌱

Jude is the kind of boyfriend who only gets jealous when it truly matters. He’s not the type to control what you wear or dictate your choices but when he sees someone else catching your attention, he’ll quietly slip his hand into yours, pulling you closer as if to remind you that you’re his. 

they are so 😭😭

A trusting matter

Summary: A confession makes Kylian think you have no trust in him. Making him feel shamed and almost breaking your relationship.

Warnings: cursing, sex talk, slut shaming, sex shaming.

"What is this?"

You turn your head to where he is, finding him walking out of the bathroom. He has something in his hands, reading the back of the box.

"I don't know, what is it?" you ask him.

He tries to read what the box means, but he can't understand any of it.

"Comprimé pelliculé." he reads out loud for you. "What does that even means?"

You frown, stretching your hand to him. "Let me see."

He hands you the box, you want to laugh at him.

It was your birth control pills. He was trying to understand what the box says but the box only reference that the box contains certain amount of pills.

"It's my contraceptive pills." you smile at him, leaving the box on the nightstand next to your side of the bed. "Want to see a movie?"

He's quiet, what is a contraceptive pill? why are you taking them?

"Are you sick?" he asks, worried about it.

You shake your head, smiling at him.

"Healthy as always."

"Then why are you taking these pills?"

You chuckle, finding him adorable. "It's contraceptive, Ky."

"What's that?"

You then get why he was so worried, he doesn't understands what the pills are for.

"They are birth control." You smile.

"Birth control as in anti baby?" He asks, still confused.

You can't help but laugh at him. Thing that makes him pout. Why were you laughing at him?

"I'm not sure if >anti baby< is the right thing to say, but yes."

His mind is still confused, why were you drinking them if he's using protection every time you had sex.

"But I'm using protection." he says, not fully getting the purpose of the pills.

"Yeah, you are."

"Then why are you taking these for?"

You sigh, wondering what's inside of his head for him to be that confused.

"Condoms can break." you say. "And it also helps me with my period, it helps me with my cramps. Not only for the anti baby part." you explain to him.

You left him sitting in bed, grabbing your water bottle and walking to the kitchen. He follows you like a kid who's ready to botter their mother with questions.

"But if the condom breaks, you can take the plan b pill, don't you?"

You roll your eyes, "Yes, that's correct. But I don't want to get to that." You say, low and monotone tone. "Birth control is safer and the fail rate is less than others."

He nods, not asking more questions. He was one not to ask much about health or things like that because you were someone healthy.

"Hey, do you want some cake?" you ask him. Opening the fridge. "I have the one you like." you take the box out of your fridge, placing it on the counter.

He nods happy, accepting a piece of it. You were seated at the top of the counter, he was between your legs as you feed him the cake while jokingly pretending to do the airplane move on him.

"You got some right here." you grab a napkin, wiping the tip of his nose.

He loves spending times like these with you. Only the two of you, things you could only do from time to time due to his agenda. Especially now that he is in Madrid.

You were telling him about this series that you were watching. He was washing the dirty dishes from dinner since you made dinner. He then gets this thought.

"Hey." He says, getting your attention.

You humm, placing the leftover food back on the fridge. You were too focused to notice his mischievous grin. He walks over to you, waiting for you to close the fridge door and turn, hitting his chest in the process.

You left out a laugh when he carries you and places you back on top of the counter. Kissing your lips while his hands grip your hips.

"I was thinking." He began. "Since you are on birth control, I can stop with the condoms."

You stop smiling, looking at him with a frown.

"And it's going to be better, because it's going to be a life saver. All those times we had to stop because I didn't have any left."

He was smiling like crazy, thinking of how much your sex life was going to change with you taking birth control. It was easier, it was faster and he didn't needed to stop when he runs out of condoms.

"Kylian," you sigh, not wanting to have this conversation. "I don't want to stop using condoms."

He frowns, not understanding you.

"Wha-Why?"

You don't want to say the real reason. "I just don't." You push him a little, getting down of the counter and walking back to the room. "It's more safe if we both are protected."

"But isn't birth control enough?" He whines. "Don't you want to feel me completely?" He asks, getting closer.

He hugs you from behind, his lips on your neck, making you shiver at the sensation. He pulls you to him, making you let out a small whine.

"Stop it." You whisper.

You take his hands away from you, walking over to the bathroom to wash your teeth. You can't help but feel a little bit bad about denying him what he wants.

But you can't.

He looks at you from the door. Not understanding why you are so questionable about the topic. He tries to understand that maybe it's because you are fearing that something fails and you get pregnant.

Even if that was the case, he would be by your side with any decision you take. But since it was not the case and he doesn't really know the real reason.

"I get that you are scared, but this can be something good for us." he says, trying to open your mind to the possibilities. "And if pregnancy its what scare-"

"Kylian, please." you say, tired of the talk. "Drop it."

"I'm just saying that you don't have to worry."

"Listen, I don't want to stop using condoms, end of story."

You walk outside of the bathroom, grabbing the clothes from your bed and walking into the closet to hang them.

"I just don't understand why you are so closed to the option."

You stayed quiet, you want to drop the conversation. If only you would have known that leaving your pills there was going to cause so much commotion.

"Y/n?"

You turn your face to him, noticing how his eyes are full of doubt. You just sigh, shaking your head and continue ordering the clothes.

"So you are just going to ignore me?" he asks, mad at your attitude.

You finish, turning to see him. "Kylian, you have been with a lot of people, I haven't. Forgive me for wanting to take care for myself." you explote.

He's taken aback, what are you even meaning?

"Take care of yourself?" he asks mad. "So I'm not safe enough for you to have sex without me wearing a condom?"

"Remember when I told you that maybe doing a test to see if you were fully healthy trigger you?" you ask. "You told me that you had that when you get the medical exams at the club. I asked you that because I don't want whatever you groupies have." you scuff.

You walk out of the room, tired of him insisting on talking about it. You take a few breaths, finally getting what you just said to him. You turn, finding him walking towards his things.

"Kylian." you call.

He just lift his hand, making you shut your mouth. You just observe him pick his things. He doesn't want to say anything back, afraid of telling something wrong.

"You were insisting, I asked you to drop it." you try.

"Yeah, I should have." he says, the way his voice is so low that scares you. "But lucky me I didn't, cause I found out my girlfriend thinks I'm fucking around and that I'm going to catch something and giving it to her."

"Kylian, don't go." you say, blocking the exit. "Let's just calm down and have a conversation."

"Oh! you want to talk now?" he laughs. "Well, now I don't want to."

You watch him go out of your house. Hearing the sound of his car getting away from your property. You feel bad about what the way this conversation goes.

"But why did you even say that?" your best friend says.

You look at her like a kid whose parent is scolding.

"I asked him to stop with the conversation, and when he didn't I lashed out."

You feel the guilt of the words you say to him. You know that what you say hurted him, you know that maybe this isn't something he would forget.

"I tried everything, calling, texting, even went to his place, but he was back in Madrid." you sigh, not sure of what else to do.

Your friend tries to think about what you can do to tried to make your situation right. It's a difficult position, because you lashed out when he kept insisting on doing something you weren't comfortable about.

The thing is, you would have been comfortable, but when you asked him something you asked your last partner, he refused.

Your mother taught you that you needed to be careful when it comes to sex. She works in health care and constantly sees how girl get things because the boys they are with are also with half the city.

Hearing stories about girls being sick and having to go out of their ways to fix something their boyfriends or sex partners got them was your daily stories.

So when you asked Kylian in a not direct way, he told you that he didn't needed that, he got those test every season and every six months thanks to the club.

> "I was thinking" you say, sitting next to him on the couch. "In this biology class I'm taking, they are encouraging us to get these test to now we are healthy."

"Really? what kind?" he asks.

"Oh you know, some blood ones, some normal check out to discard any std, any sickness. And my friends and I are a little bit scared of doing it." You show him the pamphlet.

"Scared?" he asks, a little concerned about you. "Is it that invasive?" he read what the test are.

"Not sure, just you know needles. They are taking their boyfriends and I want to ask if you want to join me, maybe?"

He reads the whole thing, looking at you with a smile. "I've done these tests. They are not that bad." he says. "Don't worry, take it from me."

"Oh, you have?" you ask, smiling. "When was the last time?"

He thinks for a moment. "I think before the year started."

"That's almost eight months ago." you say. "Don't you think that it's better if you get another one?" you say, batting your eyelashes.

"No, thank you." he says. "I'll get one when I get to the medical testing in Madrid. No need for more."

"But, you will do your girlfriend a favor."

"Let me think." he says, pressing his fingers on his temples. He pretends to think about it for a moment. "No, let's go to eat." he says, kissing your temple and walking to the kitchen. <

You met Kylian only six months ago. You didn't sleep with him right away, you wanted to meet him before even think about that. You liked him too much and didn't wanted to rush things.

You know that he was someone who got girls that wanted to spend a night with him. You read news about him "hooking up" with different models or influencers.

That he was flying them to Paris, when he was in PSG. Then when he announced the moving the news were that he was moving this model from Paris with him to Madrid.

You never cared about those things, you trusted him. He was someone who was very family orientated. He prefers to spend the night with him at home than to go out.

When he asked if you wanted to become official, you were thrilled. You love spending time with him, and not to lie but the trips, the gifts and the games passes were an amazing extra thing.

"I'm going to Madrid." You say to your friend.

"You are crazy?" she asks. "What about your job?

"I mean, a signed Real Madrid jersey will do for our boss." you say, writing the email. "Also, I booked him and his mistress some tickets for Hawaii, so he better give me the time or his wife would get the email with the information." you smile at her.

When your boss asked for not one but two signed jerseys, you booked your ticket. You knew where Kylian was living, you even have a copy of his keys for emergencies.

You grab a small bag, packing only a few things. You hoped that he wanted to see you. Your friend drove you to the airport, it was not a long flight. Only two hours and a few minutes. You will survive.

To you luck, you notice how the Real Madrid instagram is posting about the players training, so you have time to think about what you will say and how you would say it.

You have a copy of the pass for the gate, so you with no problem got inside. You tried to think about the situation, mentally hitting yourself for being that mean and dumb.

You know that the two of you were wrong, he on one side for forcing the conversation on you, even when you asked him to drop it in a nice way.

And you, for basically telling him that you didn't want his rabies that he probably got from his one night stands.

You sat down in the couch, tired of overthinking the situation. You don't want to lose him, not over something like that. Even when you basically accused him of cheating.

You were so into your mind that you don't pick the sound of the door opening and closing. You just hear the voices and tense.

He wasn't alone.

"Oh hi!" a dark hair boy says, smiling. "Kylian, you didn't told us you got company, we need more drinks."

You wave at him, a little shy to say something.

"Company?" Kylian asks confused. That's when he sees you, red cheeks and awkward smile. "Hey." he says, walking towards you.

"Hey." you say. "Hi, by the way." you finally say.

"This is Vini." Kylian says, pointing at him. "Vini, this is my girlfriend. I talked to you guys about her."

You smile at him. He still refers about you like his girlfriend.

"Nice to meet you." he smiles. "I'll call Rodry, he will bring more drinks."

You look at Kylian, trying to get an explanation so you don't look too lost. "We are watching a game." he says.

You nod, feeling a little dumb because there's people there and you can't really talk with him like you wanted to.

"No need to call Rodry." you say, standing up. "I'll be upstairs, so you can have more privacy."

You give him a small smile and walk a little fast to the stairs, feeling a little embarrassed about how your plan is going. You feel a hand on your arm, making you turn.

It was Kylian, he then moves his hand from your arm to you own hand. He grabs it, walking upstairs. He leads the way, you can't keep your eyes away from him.

He can feel you sight, he feels the need to turn around. When you two are inside his room he turn around, looking at you with this neutral expression.

You wait for him to say something, but he didn't. He wanted you to start. "Hi." you say, smiling a little. You really don't know what to say.

He want to laugh, but he remembers that he's mad. So he won't do it. You feel defeated, wanting for him to smile at your awkwardness.

"How long are your friends staying?" you ask.

You don't want to talk with him when his friends are downstairs. You want to be able to have a conversation with him and two be able to express how you feel without caring. You can't do that if there's people waiting on him.

"A little bit after the game, we have training in the afternoon, so we can stay a little bit later than normal. But I can ask them to leave right after the game."

You shake your head. "No, it's okay. I can wait."

"Vini did asked Rodry for more drinks, so you kind of have to get down at some point or they will come get you." he jokes.

"Maybe after the break." you smile back. "I'll take a shower first."

He nods, smiling at you. He walks downstairs, wanting to call the night off and hear you out. He wasn't mad anymore, just a little ego hurt. But he can't be mad at you that long. Not you.

"Rodry and Jude are almost here." Vini smiles. "Is your girlfriend joining? or did I scared her when I mentioned drinks?" he asks, joking.

"She's taking a shower, she will join us in a few."

You can hear the way they are screaming and cursing at whatever is going on at the game. You laugh when you hear one of his friends saying something in a very bad french.

The laugh Kylian left out is music to your ears. You sat on the stairs, not feeling like going down. You missed him, his humor and his laugh.

"No way these motherfuckers are only giving two extra minutes." Jude yells. "That's bullshit."

"Innit" Vini laughs, making fun of Jude's accent.

The other three boys laugh, making Jude curse Vini. The game came to an end, you know because the guys criticize the way the referee did and how the coaches did.

You got up, slowly walking upstairs.

"Okay, ladies." Kylian says. "Time to go home."

"We still have drinks." Rodry says.

"My girlfriend just flew in from Paris, pardon me that I want to spend time with her and not with your asses."

You stop on your tracks, wanting to hear more. You feel your heart warming up.

He wanted to spend time with you.

"Got it, let's go, boys."

"You own us one."

"I want to be with my girlfriend now."

You walk back into his room, smiling.

You regret not talking thing with him. You know that everything was avoidable if you would've been honest from the beginning.

You sat on the bed, watching the door carefully. You can't wait any more. The ninety something minutes you spend waiting for the game to be over were killing you.

The door opens quickly. You tried to act as if you weren't waiting for it to open. Earning a chuckle from you boyfriend. You feel the heat in your face, embarrassed of him discovering you.

He closes the door, walking to the bathroom. The door is left open, you can see how he's stripping his clothes. You fall back into the bed, not taking your eyes away from him.

He knows what he is doing.

You can hear the shower. You take a deep breath, mentally hitting yourself. You have to control yourself. You close your eyes, words repeating on and on and on. You know what you want to say and you will say it.

You are to into your thoughts, practicing how you will deliver the words, how you are giving him the message that you trust him and never doubt his loyalty.

You feel a cold hand grabbing you ankle. Making you open your eyes, you saw Kylian with towel around his waist, his eyes glued to yours.

You smile at him. "Hi." you whisper.

He smiles, shaking his head no. He wants to tease you, make you feel desperate. He takes his times changing. Picking carefully the boxers he would use.

You can tell what his plan is, and it's working.

He walks over to you. Sitting on the chair that's on the corner of his bedroom. "Mon cher, Y/n." he smiles mischievously. "What brings you here tonight?"

Your eyes are glued to his, you won't look down at his body.

You have to be strong.

"Don't you have a tshirt?" you ask, making him smile.

"I have tons." he points with his head towards the closet. "But the one I normally use to sleep is the one that you are wearing."

You blush, looking down at the shirt you took from him. "Oh" you say.

You look back at him, noticing how his grin is bigger. "You were saying?"

You sigh, knowing he's not going to give in. You sat back on the bed.

"I want to apologize, what I said was very out of line." you began. "I didn't meant to ever made you feel like I was shaming you for your previous sex life. Neither meant to doubt your loyalty to me."

He looks at you in the eyes. He can tell that you are being honest.

"What trigger your reaction?" he asks. "Was it something that I said in the past? Anything you read online about me?"

"No." you shake your head. "You know how my mom works at this clinic?" you ask him, making him nod. "Well, since I was a kid she told me about how girls that came there had all these problems. They came thinking it was a normal cold and ended up being something else, because their partners were sleeping around. And that made me feel like I needed to be extra careful with all."

"Even with me." he says low. He was saying that more to himself.

"You are the second person I've been with." you say, crawling to the edge of the bed, near the chair. "I felt so much pressure, my mom kept telling me about how I needed to be careful, that football players were always around. And not that I don't trust you, I do. But-"

"But you wanted to be sure you were safe." he finishes your sentence.

You nod, "I trust you, Ky. I do."

He stands up, opening his arms to you. He wraps his arms around your figure, embracing you into a much needed hug.

You inhale his scent, feeling better now that you explained everything to him. Not caring that load of always being alert.

"I'm sorry I was pushy about the subject. It wasn't nice of me."

"No, it's ok-"

"It's not." He interrupts you. "You asked me to drop it, and I kept talking.

He separates from the hug, walking over to his nightstand. He opens the drawer, taking an envelope.

He hands you the envelope. You take it with curiosity. Checking it to know what is it.

He did the test for you.

He wanted you to trust him. Even if that took a small medical check and blood test.

"I know now that it's not because you don't trust me, but because you are protecting yourself." He says, going back into the embrace.

"You didn't have to." You smile at him. "Thank you."

"If that's what it takes to make my girl know that I'm only hers, then I'll do anything."

You grab his cheeks, kissing him.

You missed the taste of him. The way his lips felt against yours. How his warm temperature mix with yours.

"I'm willing to try if you are." You smile, pecking him.

He smiles at you. The way his eyes got a little dark. You separate from him. Putting your arms in the air for him to take your shirt off.

"Je t'aime." He says, kissing your lips before taking the fabric off of you.

You kiss him to shut him up, pushing him down the mattress with you. "Show me how much."