When U Exit Hyperfocus Mode And Ur Immediately Hit With Every Status Effect Ever

when u exit hyperfocus mode and ur immediately hit with every status effect ever

New chapter is up!

asoiaf characters who could hack it as a starbucks barista:

— jon. runs that shit like the navy. schedules five minute scream-cry sessions for himself in the supply closet but everyone pretends not to notice bc it kinda seems like its working for him. keeps accidentally charming the regulars

— arya. only ever works closing shift bc if you put her on morning/lunch rush she yells at customers. cleans like a crazy person and leaves the place spotless. WILL put a nick in your car’s tire valve with a box opener if you make her count the till

— loras. makes GREAT coffee and can smooth things over with irate middle aged women very easily. however if ur gay avoid his location bc he cannot stop himself from being catty its in his BLOOD. also:

— dany. hits her (painstakingly decorated) dab pen in her car before work so she’s very zen. however she Is the coworker you sic on asshole customers bc she’s very good at making them feel stupid and also never caves and gives out free drinks

asoiaf characters who could NOT hack it as a starbucks barista:

— sansa. is the aforementioned caver. always turning up the heat because she’s cold even though literally everyone else is sweating like pigs. stayed on a couple months because it turns out mean customers calm down when she starts to cry #prettygirlhack but eventually quits because she hates cleaning the bathroom

— theon. uniquely bad at his job. writes his number on every other cup he hands out even to people wearing wedding bands or ACTIVELY WITH THEIR PARTNER IN THE STORE (has been beaten up like four times doing this). never ties off the garbage correctly. uses too much water when he mops and has slipped in it and twisted his ankle multiple times. is a soundcloud rapper and is always trying to get the manager to play his music in the store

— robb. nobody wants to fire him because hes genuinely a great guy but he takes eighty million years to make one drink and he’s always comping shit for his girlfriend who comes in all the time

— jojen reed. okay at the job but is always saying ominous shit to customers and is passive aggressive to whoever closed the previous night no matter how good of a job they did. quit because someone else got fired for showing up to work high and he didnt want to be next

Unmute !

Jon Whitewolf.

Prince Jon Whitewolf, Heir of Tamriel, Heir and Great Thane of Skyrim, Protector of Solitude, Dragonborn and Master of the Thu’um, Harbinger of the Companions, Archmage of the College of Winterhold, Slayer of Alduin, Dragon Slayer, Vanquisher of the Altmeri Dominion, Destroyer of the Dark Brotherhood, Member of House Telavnni, and Defender of Skyrim.

Secret Titles: Guild Master of the Thieves Guild, Champion of Meridia, Champion of Nocturnal, Champion of Hircine, Champion of Azura, Champion of Sheogorath, Accidental Champion of Mehrunes Dagon, Unwilling Champion of Hermaeus Mora, and Son of Akatosh.

Unknown Titles: Trueborn son for Rhaegar and Lyanna Targaryen. Rightful King of the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros, Azor Ahai, and the Prince That Was Promised.

imo the best modern au setup, which no one really does, is one where all the magic elements are still pretty much the same. like danys dragons are still dragons starks are still skinchangers theons still getting harassed by trees brans still greenseeinf etc. but now jon and sansa are having to have extensive discussions about whether it counts as breaking veg if you go wolf mode while the wolf is eating and dany’s homeowners insurance situation is an absolute nightmare and so on