Reblog If Youre NOT Tumblr Famous, But You ARE Tired And Kinda Gay

reblog if you’re NOT tumblr famous, but you ARE tired and kinda gay

Princess Serana Whitewolf, wife to the Drangonborn, Jon Whitewolf. She is highly skilled in Conjuration and Destructions spells. She weilds the Nightengale Blade.

Sofie Whitewolf, daughter of Jon and Serana Whitewolf. She is studying under her adopted parents and grandmother to become a mage. She has a natural aptitude for Alteration and Conjuration magic, but excel in all areas or magic. She is a Nord, making her a natural in frost magic as well. She is also being taught to use daggers, Jon gives her the Blade of Woe her got after destroying the Dark Brotherhood. Jon also gifted her the Aetherial Crown.

at the end of the day i think the reason we’re all so obsessed w jon snow in the books is the inherent comedy of the Chosen One being sent to magical boarding school and just hating every minute of it. he’s not realizing his full magical girl potential he’s just exhausted. mans is TIRED. there’s a literal giant camping out in his front yard and he’s stressing over salt beef. there is an uber hot magical witch actively trying to seduce him and he’s just like ‘omg ygritte had red hair… im going to kms’. he is actively becoming a wolf. like straight up animorphing into his pet dog. and he doesn’t give a shit he’s like ‘hm that’s weird’ and then he gets distracted smelling satins’ hair again. easily the most character of all time. god.

blah blah Bethesda bad anyway

my favorite thing about Elder Scrolls is how goddamn fuckin weird it is

like on surface it's just some dnd game but like even a cursory glance shows tis fucking insane like:

The moons is the corpse of a god

the stars are actually holes in reality when alot of primordial spirits hated that mortals were becoming a thing and fucked off

The demon lord of forbidden knowledge/resident Cthulhu stand-in might also be the beta version of the entire fucking universe made sentient when it wasn't chosen to be the used reality

there are cat ppl that take the form of furrys, lions, or regular cats, so you can have a cursing Pirate legend whose an alcoholic & wanted in 5 countries but is also a like basic tabby cat

the wood elves are so pro-nature they're cannibals and also they murder vegetarians

Vampires came from the Lord of Rape doing well ya know

Werewolves came to exist bc the lord of hunt got bored and is a furry

sex is treated like a fucking ip copyright contract on what aspect of sex is happening and what god it's under. There's been many religious wars about this

The lizard ppl are part tree

the Dwarves all fucked off somewhere and disappeared bc they were so atheist they did math to break relativity and literally no one has any idea where they went God or mortal (except maybe Cthulhu and hes not telling)

Said Cthulhu stand-in treats hiding your grandma's secret cookie recipe & hiding a spell that would end the universe and slay a god the exact same and he will murder you for either

Everyone wants to fuck the Orcs but will never admit it and they got so bent out of shape that a demon god killed the og orc god, ate him, and shat him out bc she couldn't deal with everyone complimenting them all the time so now all Orcs are cursed to be hated but they're all still sexy & so is their god

And all this isnt even the tip of the iceberg

Jon Whitewolf.

Prince Jon Whitewolf, Heir of Tamriel, Heir and Great Thane of Skyrim, Protector of Solitude, Dragonborn and Master of the Thu’um, Harbinger of the Companions, Archmage of the College of Winterhold, Slayer of Alduin, Dragon Slayer, Vanquisher of the Altmeri Dominion, Destroyer of the Dark Brotherhood, Member of House Telavnni, and Defender of Skyrim.

Secret Titles: Guild Master of the Thieves Guild, Champion of Meridia, Champion of Nocturnal, Champion of Hircine, Champion of Azura, Champion of Sheogorath, Accidental Champion of Mehrunes Dagon, Unwilling Champion of Hermaeus Mora, and Son of Akatosh.

Unknown Titles: Trueborn son for Rhaegar and Lyanna Targaryen. Rightful King of the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros, Azor Ahai, and the Prince That Was Promised.