Foreplay Is Hot (required For Good Sex)

foreplay is hot (required for good sex)

aftercare is hot (required for healthy play)

foreplay is hot (required for good sex)

aftercare is hot (required for healthy play)

////SUBS AND DOMS BOTH NEED AFTERCARE////

but your honour i was ovulating

Since the OP made their post unrebloggable (and blocked me. Both actions they are well in with their right to do)

I'm going to make my response it's own post because I think the point is important

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As someone who is autistic and has BPD and CPTSD and loads of trauma yes you sometimes need to change how you interact with others to keep people around

When I was 13 I hit the few friends I had when I was angry

I had to change that in order to keep those friendships

When I was in my early 20s if I was losing an disagreement with my husband I would threaten to kill myself. My husband told me it hurt him and was cruel and manipulative behaviour, because it was.

So I worked hard to change that to keep my relationship

It's easy to say "I shouldn't have to change for others" and that's true to an extent. You shouldn't change your interests or passions or dim your light. And you should have space to be imperfect and flawed and not have to pretend your ugly bits aren't real. But if something you are doing it causing other people harm you kinda need to change that.

That's called "living in a society"

People adapt to each other and make space for each other in their lives. You adapt to them and they adapt to you

You start being more diligent about throwing away the empty toilet roll because it really bothers them. They start warning you before they run the blender because you hate loud noises

I stopped threatening to kill myself because I was mad I was losing an argument and my husband stopped being so vocally judgemental amount media he personally dislikes

There is a certain type of person who heard the phrase "your emotions are valid" and took that to mean "my emotional reactions and my behaviour are always objectively correct because my emotions are valid and if you have an emotional response or react to what I'm doing negatively then you are wrong and you can't be hurt because my emotions are valid"

And that's a recipe for disaster

Your emotions are valid to feel. They are how you feel and there are reasons you feel the way you do

However, your reactions and behaviour are something you can learn to control and can be irrational

We live in a society and we as people change each other as we interact and that isn't necessarily a bad thing

"I don't care if the women who partake in BDSM claim to enjoy it"

So you're literally telling me that listening to women's feelings and desires is misogynistic. Got it.

BDSM is not abuse because it is chosen, asked for, and negotiated. Safewords and others systems are in place to make you feel safe. You do it with a partner you trust. These factors make it completely different than abuse because of, yes, consent.

While there are cases where abusers use the label of BDSM to justify their abusive behavior, these situations are abuse and should not be considered BDSM. And this is not what the majority of people are talking about when referring to BDSM.

BDSM, and consensual sex in general, is empowering because it allows people to connect with their own desires and make choices based on these desires. Regardless of any pretend power dynamics, everyone is in control of the situation.

It may not be your personal preference, but consenting adults can do what they want to do in their own time.

When you have grown up in a violent misogynistic environment where women, including your own mother, were regularly beaten by their husbands, the increasing popularity of BDSM seems particularly disturbing. I don't care if it is consensual, I don't care if the women who partake in BDSM claim to enjoy it. You are emulating the abuse that thousands of women suffer daily for sexual gratification. And that's perverse. You can scream about consent all you want. At the end of the day, you still find the abuse that my father inflicted on my mother sexy. You still find sexualized violence sexy enough to be emulated. Yes, that makes you a bad person.

At the root of sex positivity is self-love.

Take no shit. Protect yourself from stds. Don't let anyone violate your consent.

You're worth it.

girl help I’m crying over an astronaut meme