Day 2 - Confidence

Day 2 - Confidence

It's the ability to know what you have, what you don't, what you want and how to get there with the inability to accept anything less. --nmm

Everyone says this and I do believe it's true; confidence is the key to success. What's surprising though is many people, including myself, lack confidence. Confidence is not conceited. Being conceited is over exaggerating one's traits and accomplishments which should be regarded as adequate in their own right. Arrogance is looking in the mirror and ignoring your flaws while fooling oneself with the over emphasis of positive traits. Confidence is seeing the truth in both flaws and fine points and accepting them for what they  are in order to use them to the best of their ability.

Anyway, knowing your abilities and how you can use them to your advantage is important in achieving everything you want. But confidence is also action. It's easy to speak about what you want and one can fantasize about how these dreams can be attained but without action it's a simple daydream, a fantasy, a wish. Confidence allows one to go out into the cold, ruthless, insensitive world with all the self-assurance they need to fight back. Ones with confident have a mindset that says if I go through with this I have nothing to lose and everything to gain but if I let this opportunity pass I have everything to lose; my self respect, my chance at success and my happiness just to be comfortable.  To be unafraid of rejection and ignore the hatred while actually doing what needs to be done is confidence and that is something that I find a lot of people need to adopt. Lack of confidence leads to staying within the box, settling for less and staying comfortable rather than achieving more than expected and gaining happiness through action and the knowledge of who you truly are.  

I love that feeling of relief when I wake up from a nightmare and realize it was just a dream.

Being somebody doesn't necessarily make you unique, but being genuine does because you're being yourself and there's no one else like you.

n

What I want is what I deprive myself of most

I could spit out the words so easily. The words are the representation of thoughts that are not only for myself but for millions. They say: I don't need love right now, I'm way too young. Who needs love at my age? It's not like this is the person I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with. I have school to worry about, my job, my family and my future. My mindset is so focused, so tuned into and narrowed onto my future and how I'm going to survive. So to me the future is of the utmost importance. But in the back of my mind it's the fear of unknowing, the inexperience and the inability to turn back once you've fallen so fast. I wasn't sent to school and taught how to love or how to deal with heartache and heartbreak. There was never a 101 Intro on How to Be In Love. So I hold my head up with the pride of independence carrying me with each step in the right direction. But somehow it feels like something is missing on this path. Like an early morning walk without my iPod or a plane ride without a movie. You may be getting somewhere but the journey becomes a necessity rather than a gift. It is no longer an opportunity to experience something more along the way. But that space in my mind which holds my capacity to love is filled with fear, anxiety, arguments, stress, jealousy and ultimately emptiness. I think about it but I keep it at arms length. I get close enough only to test the waters without taking the plunge. So that mindset I so strongly believe is genuine is just a cover up for the vulnerability which encompasses my curiosity of what love truly is. As my mind creates those words of apathy for love my throat gets clogged and my tongue gets cut by the words of love which are being held in. The ones that were created by that place in my heart that sighs every time I see two people in love because there is undoubtedly a place within me that sees a movie, finds a picture or reads a book about love and says I wish I had that.

To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.

Elbert Hubbard

The shy ones have something worth hiding. Either that, or they are deathly allergic to being seen by anyone, and sometimes even themselves in the mirror. Some people aren’t just cut out for spotlights and attention, even though many dread it and at the same time desire it. The shell we thrive in is just so tightened it doesn’t need to be broken, though some who are in it wish it was destroyed completely. And as confusing and contradicting as that was, being looked at is something sick in of itself. To be stared at, for whatever reason and to be analyzed, for whatever intentions. If you think about it, we are sparing ourselves manic thoughts and preparation by being shy. It’s not exactly what we all want, especially if you know someone who is terrifyingly shy, but it’s something we just do. For whatever reason, we don’t like to be watched by a couple of idiots who don’t know when to leave us alone, and when we need them most.

Sami Ayele (via quote-book)