Guilt Is A Powerful Thing, He Said. It Erodes Something Inside Of You. A Person Can Live With It Only

“Guilt is a powerful thing,” he said. “It erodes something inside of you. A person can live with it only so long.”

— Wendy Webb, The End of Temperance Dare (via aboonoor)

“Guilt of your sin will make you NOT want to pray for forgiveness. Thats how Satan kills two birds with one stone.”

— marsblackmon101

I’m really scared of these negative feelings I’ve bottled up for so long, it feels like a bottle of coke with mentos inside

People depress me. I don't like being alone but I fucking hate spending even a second with people that irritate me. Why the fuck must I tolerate them???? But then with the people I love spending time with, I'm always afraid they think the same thing that I think about. Like they tolerate me, but deep down find me so annoying (and honestly I don't blame them. I could be really fucking annoying sometimes I shock myself even)

Being lonely sucks. But I shouldn't feel this way because God is always there for me. I swear I don't doubt God one bit and I know He is the only one I can depend on. But sometimes I need real life support. But that's useless because they're temporary. But I don't know how to do this. I fuck up so much, make so many mistakes, and REPEAT them a gazillion times. And some sins, I've gone waaay past the guilt stage that its become a necessity in my life. I know exactly what I'm doing wrong and what I need to do to change. But I don't have the will. For some reason going to hell isn't that frightening. I mean I know its an unimaginable punishment but honestly I can't bring myself to care. I never wanted to exist or be a part of this. I know no one did. But its so hard... It's so hard to live ... So hell doesn't sound so bad because living sucks anyways. This whole game sucks. Why did He make it so hard to be what He wants. I mean I know its only hard because I made it this way for myself. So I don't know... I don't know what to do to be honest...

It's one thing being told you're ugly but it's something entirely different when you're told you're ugly even with make up.