I Cant Even Blame Babies For Wanting To Stick Their Hands In Fire. Im A Grown Ass Adult And I Want To

I can’t even blame babies for wanting to stick their hands in fire. I’m a grown ass adult and I want to stick my hands in fire. Fire is fucking gorgeous and God nerfed us by making it deadly.

Me ever time I get called to HR at work:

Fuck I hope they fire me this time

Ok so hear me out. If all Gen 3 synths are composed of a modified version of Shaun’s DNA and he’s the “Father” of all modern synths and Danse is a gem 3 synth, doesn’t that make danse your grandson?

God I love switching video games and just fucking up the controls on the new one. Just switched over from New Vegas to Outer worlds and now I just keep t-bagging corpses trying to pull up my pip boy that I don’t have. It’s a blast.

Who on earth decided things could start before 10 am. What absolute jackass thought that it was a good idea to fuck over the night owls like that. Props to you for being able to wake up early and just start your day but I don’t start functioning properly till noon sir.

Man I love going to the bar with my one guy friend because he can never get the bartenders attention for the life of him so I have to order for both of us. Problem is he only drinks fruity drinks and I tend to order whiskey, so every time the bartender sees this intimidating 6’4 dude and this barely 5’3 chick and has to guess who gets the cosmo, and who gets the whiskey on the rocks. They have yet to guess right.