When A Persecutor And Your Spiritual Protector Begin To Show Signs Of Fusing :')

When a persecutor and your spiritual protector begin to show signs of fusing :')

THIS!

I spent so much time in severe, denail-induced breakdowns that lasted days because I thought something was wrong with me or my system because we were all having so much trouble figuring ourselves out.

One thing that helped - We realized we'd all been living as one person our whole lives. None of us had gotten the chance to even consider having an identity of our own. Ofc we had our fundamentals, but with the newfound freedom to explore our individuality - it can be amazing yet jarring and terrifying. It can feel like you're losing yourself somehow.

So yes, please let's not normalize knowing everything. It's harmful through and through.

We should probably normalize not knowing information about your system like what an alter's role is, total alter count, who is fronting, etc, since that is actually very normal.

experiencing bpd splits as a system is, so fucking hard

This! I originally thought I must be an osdd 1b sys because I was so sure I didn't get full amnesia,

Turns out, DID all the way babyyy :')

Does anyone else ever think "oh I don't experience much blackout amnesia, mostly grey-out." AND THEN you get evidence that you did indeed completely forget multiple things and you didn't notice because they were small things??

Like we have so much more blackout amnesia than we are aware of and it's trippy to think about.

-Kate

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