You Were Completely And Utterly Unbearable In His Eyes.

You were completely and utterly unbearable in his eyes.

Megumi x Fem! Reader

Warnings: name calling, public sex, unprotected sex, creampies, fucking while on the phone with someone else, drunk sex, rough sex, slapping, biting, degrading, overstimulation, more creampies

A/N: I aspire to write smut elegantly, it just never fucking happens. I had fun writing this though :)) also trying to find a new layout for the fics I post. Everyone always makes theirs look so aesthetically pleasing and I struggle LMAO This is unedited and not proof read — like always — so plz disregard any spelling errors. Unless they are major… then plz tell me

Word count 12.9k

Even the clicking of your pen was absolutely insufferable. Megumi’s whole body felt as if it had been doused in hot water, anger flooding him from the ends of his unruly hair all the way to his toes. “Could you stop that.” His tone was tense, jaw clenched tightly as his words barely slipped past his gritted teeth. “No.” Was all you uttered back, light and airy as if not a single thing could bother you. You haven't even taken your eyes off of the page you were studying to address him. That alone, infuriated him even more.

“Stop clicking your pen.” He didn’t like repeating himself, his fists tightened as he waited for your likely snotty response. “Like I said, no.” Again, not missing a single beat. Your eyes remained focused on your textbook, a small smirk on your face as you felt his leg begin to bounce under the table. You had gotten to know your lab partner pretty well over the course of the semester. Enough to know he hated your guts, also enough to know his little manursims when he was mad. Bouncing his leg was a clear sign you were getting under his skin. Just how you wanted to, just how you loved to.

Silence fell over the two of you, your pen still clicking, Megumi’s leg still bouncing. You always seemed to win these battles, typically because the man across from you would get up and storm away. If you were correct, he’d be getting up and leaving in less than five minutes. Time ticked by slowly, your finger never once stopping as you clicked your pen again and again and again. “Could you fucking quit it already!” Megumi’s fist hit the table, eyes sharp as a blade making contact with your own. “Could you fucking quit asking me? The answer is and always will be no.”

It was a staring match now, the only thing filling the quiet library was the click click click of your pen. Really you were both quite lucky it was so late at night and nobody on campus was stupid enough to be pent up in here on a Friday night… technically now Saturday morning. Instead of speaking, Megumi’s arm swung forward, aiming to pull or knock the pen right out of your hand. Instead you leaned back in your chair, laughing as you dodged his simple attack. “What are you? Four?” Bold words coming from someone who was slowly driving a man to insanity with a pen.

“For sake, stop clicking the fucking pen.” He was seething yet too lazy to get out of his chair and return to his dorm. You just shook your head, clicking it over and over with a shit eating grin plastered to your face. One Megumi was aching to wipe clean off. His mind was always full of ways to get under your skin in the same ways you’d get under his. Yet some part of him figured it was better to be the bigger person. He’d only have to deal with you for a few more weeks, then the semester would be over. You’d no longer be his lab partner and you’d likely never see eachother again unless it was in passing.

“You are such a child.” You snorted, holding the pen out of reach and clicking it in rapid succession to drive your point home. Megumi had gotten out of his seat now, nearly lunging across the table for it. You laughed, loud and obnoxious as he missed for a second time. “Look at you! Throwing a damn tantrum. Aren’t you supposed to be like twenty or something?” Megumi just glared at you, one knee resting on the table while he watched your finger press down on the pen’s button again and again. He didn’t know what to do next, swallow his pride and sit back down or grab for the pen a second time.

He chose the other route, this time actually making his way over the table to grab the pen from your hand. Instead of triumphantly getting the pen away from you, things took a disastrous turn. You had leaned too far back in your chair, losing balance completely and landing flat on your back. As if it couldn’t get any worse, Megumi had lost his footing. He too fell straight off the table, landing on top of you with a loud thump. You both laid in silence for a moment, silence Megumi would have found blissful if it weren’t for the pain radiating in his knees. On The other hand, you were trying to force air back into your lungs.

Air that had been knocked straight out of you when your back hit the floor. Which wasn’t helped when Megumi went and put his whole body weight on you only a second later. After a second, he forced himself up, both hands caging in your head as he looked down at you. “This is your fault.” His cheeks were rosy, lips seeming to quiver as he looked at you. “I’m fine, thanks for asking.” You huffed, the back of your head was throbbing from where you smacked it. “And get the fuck off of me.” You spat out after, eyes looking down to see Megumi straddling you. He caught on, immediately shifting off of you.

“This wouldn’t have happened if you just stopped with that damn pen.” He moved to stand, not bothering to help you as you pulled yourself off the ground. “I’m done for tonight.” You sat on the ground in silence, watching him grab his laptop and textbook before storming out of the library, your pen still in his hand. Once he was gone you let your body relax a bit, a sigh leaving you as you reached up to rub the back of your head. “What a gentleman.” With any luck, you’d given yourself a concussion. The rest of your body would probably be tender by the time you woke up.

You could blame Megumi for that if you really wanted to, considering he practically body slammed you. You began to laugh, pulling yourself off the ground to pack your things as well. There was no way you’d get anything done with the way your head was thrumming. Megumi, however, was practically running back to his dorm, shame flooding his cheeks as he prayed no one would see him. “Get a grip you moron.” He muttered under his breath, head downcast as he tried to use his backpack to shield himself. It wasn’t quite noticeable but he was still mortified, slowly but surely there was a persistent problem growing in his pants.

“It would have happened if it were anyone, it’s natural.” Two bold lies to try and convince himself were actually truths. It only happened because it was you, that simple fact was too much for him to bear. It wasn’t until he reached up to punch in the entry code that he realized he still had your pen in his hand. “Fuck off.” He groaned, tossing it somewhere in the bushes before angrily pressing the numbers in. Megumi was starting to find everything irritating now, especially the issue he was refusing to acknowledge. “Just a few more feet.” He muttered under his breath.

A few more feet and he’d be at his shared dorm, something that still wasn’t used too. He missed his high school years for a moment, his own bedroom and bathroom all to himself on a quiet campus. Now he was at a bustling university campus in the heart of Tokyo, per Gojo’s request. It was all because the man sweet talked them into giving him, Nobara and Yuji a free ride. Now he shared a room with the pink haired man, as much as he loved him, living with him was proving to be too much. Yet semester after semester, he always chose to room with him.

Megumi’s shoulders sagged the moment he reached their room. Hanging on the doorknob was a sign Yuji had made specifically for these situations. “Do not enter” hooked over the door in Yuji’s attempt at nearly handwriting. That sign was to warn Megumi that he had someone in there with him, essentially telling Megumi to respectfully fuck off. “Of all fucking nights.” He could scream now, it was just one bad thing after another at this point. Not only was he annoyed that he couldn’t get him his dorm, he was mad about what the sign reminded him of. The very fact that he hadn’t gotten laid once this semester.

You were the one to blame for that. The stupid lab class he had chosen to take consumed most of his free time, naturally that meant you consumed most of his free time. He had no time to be dragged out to parties with Yuji and Nobara, no time to drunkenly woo a girl or guy back into his bed, no time to even get himself off alone. It was embarrassing, let alone the fact that it was obvious to the pink haired man that his best friend hadn’t gotten his dick wet in months. Megumi wasn’t usually the hook up type but fuck he enjoyed having sex.

He could, unfortunately, push aside his morals so long as he was promised blissful release at the end. “Fucking great.” He muttered again, still standing in place in front of his dorm door, as if that would magically erase the sign. He was left with no place to go, especially right now. Usually he’d just go visit Nobara, the girl had managed to score a dorm suite all for herself. She let him crash there whenever he needed. The bulge in his pants, however, was keeping him from really going anywhere at all. So he sulked off, making his way to the dorm’s common rooms. If he was lucky, it would be empty.

“Dude… can you give me y/n’s number?” They were in the dining hall, students coming and going from every direction, it made Megumi’s whole body feel uncomfortable. “What?” He could have choked on the cereal he was trying to eat, eyes widening almost comically as he looked up. “Y/n’s number, your lab partner?” Megumi rolled his eyes, swallowing his food before speaking. “I know who she is, dumb ass.” His heart was starting to pound now, he’d like to enjoy his time away from you in peace. Yet somehow you always managed to make your way to him in some form or another.

“Oh! My bad dude! You got a thing for her?” Yuji blinked with wide eyes, absolutely not phased by the death glare in Megumi’s eyes. “No I don’t got a thing for her, she’s fucking evil.” He put his spoon down a little harder than necessary. “Y/n? Really?” Yuji seemed shocked, all the while he was bringing more food to his mouth. It took Megumi a second to realize Yuji had referred to you as if he knew you personally. “Wait… do you know her?” His food was completely forgotten now, his full attention was on whatever Yuji would say next.

“I only know of her. She’s good friends with Todo, he said she stopped frequenting his parties once this semester started. He blames you for that, so I’d watch out for him if he ever makes his way on campus.” Of course you’d be friends with Todo, someone Megumi couldn’t stand. Luckily he attended a different university, just a little outside of Tokyo. Still close enough to go on missions if needed. “Wait…” you were friends with all these sorcerers? Yuji tilted his head, waiting for whatever Megumi would question next. “Is she a sorcerer?” How the hell wouldn't he have known sooner?

“No, I don’t think so. I know she can see curses but that’s about it.” Yuji returned to his food, acting as if he didn’t just drop a massive bomb on Megumi. Did you know he was a sorcerer? Had you known all along? “Oh but for real, can I have her number? She’s super hot.” Megumi nearly lost his appetite, “didn’t I tell you she was evil?” He was hoping to deter the conversation elsewhere. He had no valid reason to not give your number to Yuji. “You did, but I like a woman with a sharp tongue. Plus she’s friends with Todo so she must like to party. I think we’d be a great match.” Megumi sighed.

“I’m not just going to give out her number, ask Todo.” Yuji shrugged, finally dropping the topic of you, but not before saying one last thing. “If you like her dude, just tell me and I won’t pursue her.” It was soft, as if he were talking to a temperamental toddler who would throw a fit at any second. “I’m not interested in her.” But he couldn’t tell Yuji he could have you, those words got caught up somewhere in his throat. Yuji just shook his head, fully returning back to his food. Megumi could be utterly impossible sometimes, it would be best to leave you and the subject alone until his best friend could sort his shit out.

His head was pressed to the armrest of the worn down couch in the common room. Who the fuck knows what had taken place on this couch but for now Megumi couldn’t be bothered to care. He was squeezing his eyes shut, willing this dick to calm the fuck down. He was positive he’d have no interruptions, considering it was nearly 3am at this point. Most students would either be sleeping or drunkenly passed out somewhere. The likelihood of someone walking in on him or even remembering what they saw would be slim to none. Yet he still couldn’t bring himself to take the easy solution to solving the crisis in his pants.

“I have no choice.” He muttered softly, head lifting to look down at the insufferable bulge that he couldn’t get to go down. Shakily, he placed a hand over himself, gasping softly as some sort of relief was finally felt. He felt his cheeks turn a deep shade of red as he began fondling himself, the relief slowly turned into pleasure. He didn’t have the courage to undo his pants, he’d settle for this, as mortifying to him as it may be. “How fucking pathetic.” He groaned, head falling back as he found a good rhythm for himself, essentially dry humping his own hand. He tried to let himself relax, still too tense that someone could walk in.

It was one thing to be caught fucking someone on this couch, dry humping your hand? Absolutely horrific. Megumi would be the butt of every joke, some lame, horny college dude that couldn’t get someone in his bed. That only made him move quicker, hips moving to meet his hand as he struggled to reach his release. He was suddenly too caught up in the moment to think of one fatal error he had forgotten to consider. You also lived in this dorm building, meaning you would be the only one awake and sober right now to catch him.

You huffed, realizing you must have left your student ID in your dorm room. You punched in the numbers on the pin pad, it only took an extra second but it was still annoying. As you moved to open the door, you noticed something sitting in the bushes. “How fucking typical.” You laughed as you reached for your pen, the only sign that Megumi had also returned to the dorms. You plucked it from the bush where it had been carelessly discarded. “He really carried it all the way back here.” You chuckled as you entered the fluorescent hallway, your dorm was on the third floor, right above Megumi’s.

You clicked the elevator button, waiting patiently for it to drop to your level and pick you up. Nothing sounded better than a hot shower, some pain relief meds and your cheap twin XL mattress. As you stepped inside the elevator, an earlier conversation with your roommate popped into mind. She had told you to stay out late, maybe not even bother returning to the dorm till early morning. She was going to a party and told you there was no way she’d be returning to your dorm alone. Dread filled you as the elevator made its way up, you may be stranded for the next few hours if a certain sign was on your dorm door.

The elevator dinged, opening up to your room's floor. You stepped out hesitantly, making your way down until you turned the corner and stopped dead in your tracks. Sure enough, the butterfly magnet was slapped halfheartedly to the door. “Fuck.” You moved forward anyways, maybe you could slip in if they were asleep. You pressed your ear to the door, despite it being made of metal, it was still pretty thin. You held your breath, waiting to hear any sign of movement. Sure enough, you could clearly hear sounds you’d rather not. “Fuck off.” You groaned, kicking the metal door, knowing full and well neither of the two inside would be phased.

Your only choice was to head to the common room, maybe you could call Todo and see if he’d pick you up. You padded away, pulling your phone out and scrolling through your contacts. You found Todo, texting him to see if he was still up at such an ungodly hour. After a second of no response you clicked your phone off, shoving it in the back pocket of your shorts. The common room was a floor down, you clicked to summon the elevator and the door opened immediately. “I could probably get some more of the project done.” The throbbing in your skull had turned to a dull ache, more than enough for you to manage while you worked but it would still be annoying.

The elevator dinged again, opening to what you knew as Megumi’s floor. You made your way down the hall at a steady pace, you were in no hurry to spend the rest of your night in the common rooms. As you neared the open archway you froze, soft grunts and rustling met your ears. “Don’t tell me someone is fuckimg in there…” you whispered so low you barely heard yourself speak. You barged in, ready to make a scene and interrupt whoever it was that was too horny to make it back to their room. Instead, every insult died on your lips, mouth parting in shock at the sight before you. “No fucking way.”

You began to laugh, just as loud and obnoxious as you had in the library. All the color from Megumi’s flushed cheeks disappeared, all the while his hand froze in the worst way possible. “So we are in the same boat? Your roommate is fucking someone right now, right? That’s why you’re jerking off alone in the common room?” You 're still laughing, making your way over to the dingey couch Megumi was sprawled on. You were hovering over him now, watching as he was genuinely too horrified to speak. You hated to admit it but the sight of him desperately trying to get off, had you feeling some sort of way.

It had been a few months after all, judging from the bulge in his sweats, he wouldn’t be half bad. “Do you mind if I join?” You fully expected that to snap him back into reality, ready for the onslaught of curses and names that would be hurtled your way as he demanded you leave him alone. Instead, Megumi nodded, his body moving on autopilot to create some wiggle room for you to straddle him. It almost felt like the man had been put under a trance, absolutely hypnotized but his own lust. You were no better, crawling onto the couch and plopping your cover cunt directly over his bulge.

“How humiliating is this?” You laughed again, hips beginning to rock back and forth. “So fucking horny but too lame to get laid. Your roommate has more game than you, to the point he kicked you out so he could fuck some bitch in peace.” Your hips swiveled, Megumi gulped, hands coming down to hold your waist as you moved. “Though I guess I’m not much better, my room is off limits for the same reason. Kinda jealous I must say, I’d kill to have my back blown out right now.” Your hips moved a little harsher, you could feel the soft prickle of arousal hitting you, but it wasn’t nearly enough to get you off. Megumi, though, looked as if he was about to spill in his pants.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you Megumi? I’m sure you’re in the same boat as me. That stupid fucking lab took up all our free time. You know how many fucking parties I missed?” You 're getting angry, hips pressing down almost painful against Megumi’s. He felt suffocated, not only by the confines of his pants but by your hips. He hated you, he absolutely hated you, especially as a moan slipped past his lips. “Yeah? Look at you, how fucking pathetic. Letting me grind on you like we are some horny teenagers. You aren’t even trying to take the lead.” You scoffed, moving to stand now, you were fed up with it already.

Megumi’s hands tightened, trying to keep you pressed to him. His release was so close and you up and leave him hanging, he really fucking hated you. “Oh loosen up, I’m not leaving.” You spat at him, pulling yourself to your feet. Before he could even question what you were about to do, you pulled your phone from your back pocket, tossing it somewhere on the floor as you dropped your shorts. You were fully exposed from the waist down, letting Megumi’s eyes hungrily drink in the sight of your cunt. “Pull it out.” You commanded as if it were a natural statement, not even when you were horny did you relax even a bit.

Megumi’s teeth gritted, that same anger filling his body, he did as you asked regardless. He lifted his hips, not exactly likely the idea of his bare skin on the couch below. Right now though, he knew what was coming next, therefore he couldn’t give a shit. You watched with folded arms, holding back a gasp as his cock slapped against his abdomen. Much to your pleasure, he was big, but you wouldn’t let him get the satisfaction of seeing you react. “I-I don’t got a condom.” Finally, he managed to speak. “Neither do I, but I don’t really care.” You were straddling his hips again, pushing his sweatshirt up a bit to expose some of his toned abdomen.

You grabbed his base, earning a hiss of “easy.” As you began greedily pumping him. Sticky precum was already smeared along his length from residing in his pants for so long. You had to hold back your groans, you were dying to feel him inside of you. Your hips lifted, angling yourself awkwardly so you could sit on his length, swatting away Megumi’s hands as they attempted to guide you. “Don’t.” You barked back at him, holding him steady as his bulbous head penetrated you. You struggled to hold in a groan, after a few months it really felt like the first time all over again. The stretch was uncomfortable, a burning sensation spreading all the way to your thighs.

You pushed past, lowering yourself on his length inch by inch until you met his base. You felt full, something you hadn’t felt in such a long time that you almost forgot how much you enjoyed it. A choked “fuck” escaped him, hands gripping your hips with bruising force as your walls sputtered around him. You were suffocating him entirely. He could feel everything, especially the way you were greedily clinging to him. He was, as much as he hated it, at your mercy for the time being. You rolled your hips slowly, mouth parting as he pressed further into what you had come to know as your “g-spot.” Megumi’s brows furrowed, eyes focusing on where his cock had disappeared inside of you.

“You’re fucking lucky you’re hot.” You began bouncing slowly, lifting your hips up until half of him was left and dropping back down. The couch creaked as you put your full weight down on him again and again. Megumi was still too stunned to do much else, he couldn’t bring himself to speak in fear of saying something that would piss you off and make you stop. Instead he held your hips, arms rising and falling every time you bounced. A smirk crept up your cheeks, struggling to remain a smirk as he passed over that one spot over and over. You had forgotten how good it felt, what made things even better is that he was keeping his mouth shut.

You could enjoy his cock and his beauty without the irritation of hearing his bitching. Slowly but surely, soft squelches began to emit from between your thighs. Every time your hips sunk down, engulfing him over and over, a soft squelch was heard as you lifted back up. You found it rather satisfying, especially with the way it seems to draw Megumi in. It was a soft wet slap of skin against skin, the pleasure in your gut intensifying each time you clenched. Part of you knew that even if a condom was available you would have gone without, there was something much more sweeter to this victory due to the fact that you were fucking him raw.

Your attention was pulled from his face a moment later, your phone was buzzing on the ground next to the couch. Todo’s name flashed on the screen, a soft “oh!” Tumbling from your lips as you bent down. Megumi groaned as he slipped out of your tight heat completely, cock twitching at the loss of your warmth. You rolled your eyes as he complained, sliding over the answer button in the process. “Yo! Todo! Are you just waking up or are you going to bed.” You straighten, one hand holding your phone to your ear while the other reaches for the slick base of Megumi’s cock. He was covered with your arousal, his own was still leaking from his irritated looking tip.

He had been close, somewhat thankful you pulled out when you did because he didn’t want this to end yet. “Of course you’d wake up at nearly 4am to start your day.” You sunk back down on him, not missing a single beat as you listened to Todo’s question. That was something that would normally absolutely infuriate him, being balls deep really seemed to mellow him out. “Oh I was calling you to ask if you were still having that party later today.” You found a new rhythm, this time the sound of skin slapping skin was much louder. You wouldn’t be shocked if Todo asked you what the sound was, you’d be honest with him if he did.

“Oh good!” You cooed into the phone when he said yes, Megumi could just faintly make out the man’s far too boisterous laugh for the time of day it was. “Oh well, I’m asking because I plan on finally attending this one.” You dropped down fully, Megumi’s body holding forward as the tip of his cock pressed to your cervix. It was nearly painful but you kept your composure, using your free hand you began rubbing short, quick circles on your clit. You could feel Megumi inside of you, twitching with every thrust. The soft pants leaving his plump lips told you he was about to cum.

Megumi seemed to snap out of his daze when he heard Todo's laugh, followed by unintelligible but excited talking. He needed to see you lose your composure, something you had somehow stripped him of. The Megumi you were familiar with came back in the form of his hands bruising your waist. His hips jutted upwards, cock head slamming into your cervix over and over as he made it so your hips collided with every thrust. Now he could hear it, the gentle rasp, the undeniable strain in your voice as you spoke on the phone. “I-I’ll be bringing a plus one this time, Todo.”

Megumi was getting too worked up to care, the way your breasts bounced with every smack had his whole body vibrating. “Come for me…” he groaned, his voice sounding worse than your own. “Y-yeah! A plus one.” You drawled out the last word, teeth sinking into your bottom lip as Megumi turned your pace to an unbearable speed. “Oh you’ll be s-surprised.” The phone nearly fell out of your hand, head falling back as ecstasy filled your veins from head to toe. The couch below you was now threatening to break, the creaking was loud enough to wake anyone up. “I-I’ll see you then. Do you need me to bring anything?”

Your orgasm was just in your reach, yet you couldn’t hang up the phone, especially when you knew it bothered Megumi. You could feel it, a gasp you couldn’t control slipping past your lips as your hips jerked wildly. Megumi felt more so than saw your orgasm hit you, your walls had become even tighter than he could have imagined, your arousal coming out in a sticky, warm gush. He could see sweat rolling down your temple, eyes seemingly clouded over as your bliss came over you in waves. Jealousy spiked in him, his hips never slowing his assault as he chased after his own release, the one thing that had gotten him into this mess to begin with.

“Oh sorry…” you snapped out of your daze as Todo called your name, you mumbled something about not having gone to bed yet. Your heart was shooting through your chest as you felt Megumi nearing his end, you couldn’t even focus on what Todo was saying as you attempted to pry yourself away from him. Megumi’s grip was a lot stronger than it had been before, your overstimulation mixed with panic was still no match for him. After a twitch you knew was much stronger than the last, paired with a low and steady moan, Megumi came.

All the while he had burned himself deep, dull head pressing painfully to your cervix again, white ropes pouring endlessly into you. Finally, Megumi had gotten your facade to drop just a bit, it was in the form of a slightly shocked expression. Still not as satisfying as what he was really looking for, but it would do for now. “Yeah I’m still here.” You glared down at the shit eating smirk plastered to Megumi’s face. His grip finally loosened, crescent nail marks dug deep into your thighs as you lifted enough for his softening cock to slip out.

Following it came his release, your arousal mixed with his cum followed steadily, dripping down into his cock and abdomen. You shook your head, muttering under your breath before bidding Todo a good bye and hanging up the phone. “Some fucking nerve you got, Fushiguro.” Not even his first name, had he not been so relaxed he probably would have bit back at your bait. “You hate me so much yet you let me fuck you. Then you have the audacity to keep me in place and cum. Fucking filthy.” You got up, maintaining some stability despite your thighs burning and your legs feeling like jelly.

“We’re going to Todo’s party later today. Don’t even fucking try and say no. You owe me big time for what I just let you do.” You said it as if you weren’t the one to offer, Megumi was still aching for more. He was aching for a second round where he didn’t just let you take the lead. He was going to get what he was after, he was going to get that smug look off your face. Now, he knew exactly how to go about it. Of course he wasn’t going to deny attending the party with you, it was the perfect set up for him to get his revenge. “Goodnight.” He called after you as you walked away, shorts pulled back on and phone gripped tightly in your hand.

For now, he was left with the mess you left behind, but for once he couldn’t seem to get mad. Instead his head was buzzing with the endless ways he’d make you putty in his hands. He’d make sure you felt as small as you had just made him feel, he’d make sure you cried his name over and over. It was the best form of revenge, it just sucked you had gotten to go first. Then again, you opened his mind to the best form of punishment he could think of. It was the perfect solution he had been too dense to find. “My turn, y/n.” He tucked himself away, grimacing at the sticky feeling he was left with.

—

“I can’t believe you are actually going!” Yuji was standing in front of Megumi’s mirror, gel covering his hands as he perfectly spiked his hair. It was nearly 7pm that night now and you had been the sole subject on Megumi’s mind. As much as the idea of this party filled him with dread, he wasn’t willing to let you go off alone. How ironic, he fucking hated you, didn’t he? So why was he suddenly so concerned about your wellbeing? His jaw was clenched tight, teeth aching as he opened his mouth to speak. “I don’t have a choice.”

“Oh that’s right, y/n is making you go.” Yuji chuckled at the story Megumi had told him, something about tipping your chair and threatening to stop working on your final assignment. In order to keep the peace, Megumi agreed to go with you. A believable lie for Yuji, though Nobara may see straight through it. Luckily she was spending her weekend with Maki, so he didn’t have to worry about her much. “You’ll have fun, Megumi. Hell, maybe you’ll finally get laid. Sorry again about that…” Megumi suppressed a groan, of course Yuji would bring that up yet again.

Megumi wasn’t allowed back into their shared dorm room until nearly 8am. Luckily for him, the girl Yuji had slept with was a morning person, she was up and out of there bright and early. Not before another round, one Megumi nearly interrupted, according to Yuji. At least tonight he’d be the one bringing someone back, hopefully way before Yuji. Essentially a small little dig agaisnt his pink haired friend, this time Yuji would be the one waiting around, that is if he didn’t end up in someone else’s bed.

Regardless, Megumi was getting his revenge. After showering and getting access to his dorm again, Megumi crashed until two in the afternoon. You were, as always, lingering in his mind. You even had the audacity to fill his dreams. All he could think about was the way you so careless fucked him, as if it were a normal routine that required no effort. Never mind the fact that he had been so entranced he barely did anything in return. Embarrassment was nagging at him, despite the fact that his orgasm was the best he’d had in a long time.

Tonight though, he was paying you back tenfold. Hell he wouldn’t be satisfied until his bed was broken at the way his anger was starting to pent up again. “Next time, go to her room. Having to crash on that nasty couch in the commons wasn’t ideal.” He adjusted his collar, hand reaching for his cologne. “I said I was sorry!“ Yuji whined, as he moved to grab his shoes. Megumi had chosen a black button up, sleeves rolled to his elbows and the top two buttons undone, exposing his pale collarbone.

Accompanying his top was a pair of cargo shorts, all picked out according to your bitching at him through text. It was a pool party apparently, something Megumi had no desire for, so he forgoed any swim attire. Yuji on the other hand wore a pair of pink swim trunks and a white t-shirt with a Hawaiian shirt hanging open over top. One he was sure Todo gifted him at some point in their friendship. Their outfits were polar opposites yet somehow still fit the desired look.

“Are we meeting y/n there?” Megumi shook his head, moving to grab his shoes as well. “She’ll be waiting for us in the common room.” Yuji hummed, it was only revealed to him earlier that day that you happened to live in the same building. “Well, should we get going?” Yuji’s hand was already on the doorknob, bouncing like a small kid waiting for his parent’s approval. “We should. You got everything you need?” After another nod, Yuji yanks the door open.

Here goes nothing and everything all at once.

You were laughing with a group of kids in your major when Megumi and Yuji found you. “Y/n!” Yuji called as if he had known you his whole life, your head shot up, a smile crossing your face that Megumi never saw directed at him. “Is that the infamous Itadori Yuji calling my name?” You stepped away from the table of students, walking towards Yuji as he walked towards you. Megumi watched in shock as you easily wrapped your arms around the pink haired man, what got him even more was the fact that Yuji easily reciprocated.

“In the flesh! Todo has told me a lot about you.” Megumi could hear your groan as you pulled away a moment later. “Oh I can only imagine the things he’s said. You and him have been friends since high school, yeah?” As you and Yuji separated, Megumi finally was able to process what you had on. A black maxi dress with thin straps, the dress itself hugged you perfectly, accentuating every curve. Hell, it took him a moment to pull his eyes away from your ass. As his eyes roamed back up towards your face, he noticed the equally thin straps to a bathing suit just barely hidden. He had to suppress a groan.

There was something irritating to him about how easily you seemed to get along with Yuji. He thought back on that conversation they had in the dining hall a few weeks back, maybe Yuji was right. But Megumi wasn’t interested in you… he couldn’t stand you, yet there was jealousy bubbling in his chest. Green eyes shifted over to a couple sitting on the familiar, old couch. He didn’t expect to meet your gaze the moment he looked back towards the two of you, a small smirk on your lips as you knew what he was thinking. Once again, you and Megumi were unknowingly sitting in the same boat.

You had managed to keep your aloof attitude going until you were out of Megumi’s sight. It wasn’t until you walked away from him that you felt embarrassment flooding your cheeks, somehow you had kept your composure but you couldn’t stop thinking about him. Even as you made your way through the dorm building with no destination ahead, you couldn’t stop thinking about him. His fucked out expression, the way his eyes seemed glossed over as he stared at your cunt, the way his brows furrowed when he was close.

You had caught him in a vulnerable moment, you were positive that’s the only reason why he didn’t try and take things over. From experience, you knew it was the guys like him that usually had a lot going on. After that little excursion, you were proven correct once more. Now, even though you were sure he’d never make the move, you wanted to know how mean he could be… in different ways. “Glad you listened to me.” You shamelessly looked him up and down, you had caught him not so subtly doing the same to you moments prior.

“Yeah, Fushiguro cleans up nice, doesn't he?” Yuji hooked his arm with yours, you held back a grin as Megumi’s eyes zeroed in on the movement. “He does, I’m used to the baggy sweats and grandpa loafers.” A loud “hey!” Left Megumi’s lips as both you and Yuji laughed, it was already starting to get on his nerves, Yuji was far too close for comfort yet you didn’t seem to care. “Let’s get going.” He groaned, aching to deter the conversation away from him and maybe get you away from Yuji. “Ugh, lame.” You tugged Yuji along with you as Megumi made his way out of the common room.

“Oh, how are we getting there?” Yuji asked absentmindedly, he nearly forgot that Todo’s campus was across the city. “Bus or subway, whichever you guys have a pass for. I have both.” That was one other thing that reminded Megumi of how badly he missed jujutsu tech, the fact that someone was always there to drive them around. It was a luxury he didn’t realize he had taken for granted. “If you have neither, I can drive, but you’ll pay me gas money.” You laughed as Yuji seemed shocked to hear you had a car on campus.

“I’ll pay you the gas money.” Megumi’s voice was soft, he turned to glance at the surprised look on your face. “Alright, works for me. It’s a good thing I grabbed my keys.” The elevator opened, letting the three of you on as Megumi hit the button for the ground floor. He figured it would be best that transportation was readily available, especially if his plan worked out perfectly. Knowing you, you’d find a way to somehow ruin it without even realizing, that’s why he had backups. “I’m parked right by the building so it saves us the walk.” You were jingling your keys now, excited to show off your prized possession.

Your car was a two door mustang, one you spent a lot of time working on, plus it had more upgrades than you could count at this point. Megumi should have known someone like you would have a car like this, well a car in general he should say. “I call shotgun!” Yuji was bouncing again, just like an excited little kid. “I’m taller and I’m paying the gas money, you’re getting in the back. The back in question was barely there, Yuji would be lucky if he could even get his legs in. The pout on his face was priceless but he didn’t put up a fight, especially when Megumi glared at him.

“It’s fine, you boys can share.” You were sliding into the driver's seat as you spoke, just a bit jittery at the idea of driving the city. It was part of the reason you had a bus and subway pass, yet you always liked to show off when you could. “You better be a good driver.” Megumi was tightening his seatbelt as your engine roared to life. “I cherish my car more than I cherish your life, so yes, I’m a good driver.” He rolled his eyes, there was the y/n he was used to. Yuji however didn’t seem to catch on to what you said.

“Fuck you.” It was barely above a whisper, you laughed as you pulled out of the lot, not missing a beat you whispered back “You already did.” Megumi had to hold in his reaction, jaw clenching as he turned to look out the window. “Did Todo ask you to bring anything, Yuji?” The pink haired man shook his head, eyes scanning his phone screen. “For once he handled it all himself.” You pulled off of campus and into the city, your anxiety spiking as you pulled up to a red light.

“He’s only like twenty minutes from here, right?” You knew the way by heart but it had been a while. “Yeah.” Silence fell over the car once again, music played but quietly, Megumi still hadn’t looked back at you. You glanced back at Yuji who was still distracted by his phone before turning to look at the lights. Carefully, you crept your hand over towards the passenger seat, resting it softly on Megumi’s thigh. You felt him tense beneath you, head turning to look in your direction. You kept a smirk plastered to your face as you drove through the green light.

Megumi was stuck between three options. Asking you what you were doing, pushing your hand off, or leaving it where it was. Somewhere in the back of his mind came the worry of what Yuji would think if he saw it. “Why?” Was all he could muster as you took another turn. Instead of answering, your hand snuck a little further up his thigh. “You can’t be serious.” Another whisper you didn’t respond to, this time Megumi was the one to glance back at Yuji. As you came to the next red light, you pulled away. “Text Todo and tell him we’ll be there soon.” They were still about 15 minutes away.

Megumi felt disappointment flood him, that disappointment turned to confusion as to why exactly he felt disappointed in the first place. You seemed to think you still had the upper hand, once again he felt annoyance begin to bubble up in his chest. Really, how did he even get roped into this? It was embarrassingly the fact that he wanted to fuck you again, this time properly so he could wipe the carefree smirk off your face. “On it… wait turn that up I love this song.” You snorted, turning up the volume so loud Megumi couldn’t even hear himself think. You met his eyes, smiling as his nose scrunched.

“Let’s see how long you last.” You spoke just loud enough for Megumi to hear over the music and Yuji’s terrible singing. “The fuck does that mean?” So maybe you weren’t as clueless as he assumed. “I know you’re dying inside because I’m dragging you to this party.” Or… maybe you were as clueless as he assumed. He just rolled his eyes, ignoring the fluttering in his chest as you turned another corner. Tonight really may kill him if your driving and Yuji’s singing didn’t get to him first… to be honest it just may.

The next fifteen minutes flew by far faster than Megumi would have liked, now you were parking half way down the car lined street of a tucked away university campus in the heart of Tokyo. “People sure do get here early.” You stepped out, pushing your seat up so Yuji could get out. “Those are the ones who panic thinking they’ll miss out.” Megumi’s door shut a moment later, his anxiety spiking as he could already hear the thrumming of music from where he stood. “Ah yes, the newbie party goers. How cute.” You cooed as you locked the doors. “Yeah, Fushiguro will fit riiiight in~” Yuji’s arm hooked around his shoulders before promptly being shoved off.

“Oh I knew it!” Megumi didn’t even get a chance to defend himself as you began to laugh, Yuji had just exposed an embarrassing secret. The number of parties he attended was significantly smaller than the number you and Yuji had. That’s not to say he’s never been… it was more so an every few week thing, rather than every weekend and then some. “Oh fuck off.” He groaned, making his way up the car lined street, leaving the two of you behind. “We gotta get a couple of drinks in him, maybe he’ll loosen up a bit.” You snort as Yuji quickly agrees, chasing after his moody friend.

—

It was happening far too fast for his liking. Megumi made the stupid choice of not dropping the annoyed act, not even after he crossed over the threshold of the raging party. He was quickly led to the drink table by Yuji, completely losing sight of you as you got pulled away by a group of old friends. He could still make out Todo’s booming voice over the pounding music, especially when he called your name. Megumi couldn’t see you of course, instead he was being handed shots and other liquors while people tried to talk to him. Maybe it was stupid to think he could get his revenge at a party like this.

The environment overwhelming him was much more your domain than his, and that was saying it lightly. Now he was stumbling towards the backyard, the house far too crowded and far too stuffy to enjoy. The buzz he had going made him feel like the room was spinning, as if a rug was about to be pulled from under him and he couldn’t move fast enough. “Fucking Yuji.” He groaned, slipping past a group of girls that were not so subtly checking him out. Yuji, too, had abandoned him at some point in the night, by now it had to be close to 10pm.

You were just as bad, in the three hours you’d been here, he still couldn’t find you. He hit the grass a moment later, some sort of relief flooding him as the cooler night air met his clammy skin. He felt like a lightweight, months of barely drinking were starting to bite him in the ass. “Y/n… where the fuck are you?” He wasn’t even whispering, the music was still playing on speakers that surrounded a large in-ground pool, no one would pay him any mind anyways. It was just as crowded back here as it was in the house, but at least it was far more spacious. Now all he had to avoid was rouge splashes from the drunken fools.

He found an empty seat, claiming it before someone else could. The stability was enough for him to be able to focus, eyes scanning his surroundings until a familiar face appeared. Yuji was closer to the deep end, hand roughly gripping the concrete edge of the pool. It took Megumi’s foggy mind an extra few seconds to process what he was seeing. Yuji wasn’t alone, not by a long shot. You were with him, arms wrapped around his neck as you whispered in his ear. Nothing could have sobered Megumi faster than that sight. Yuji’s cheeks were flushed, undoubtedly his other arm was wrapped around your waist.

For a moment, Megumi could have sworn he saw red, yet he couldn’t move from the chair he was in. Instead, he watched, suddenly too aware of the world around him yet not at all at the same time. It was like tunnel vision, all he could focus on was the way you were laughing with Yuji. Your hands were playing with the damp strands of pink hair, eyes locked with his as you talked aimlessly about anything, not that Megumi could hear. He watched as you pushed away, dragging Yuji away from the pool’s edge to disappear under the water’s surface together. Megumi felt his heart rate spike, the world starting to spin again as he anxiously waited.

You surfaced a moment later, your laughter reaching him even over the music. That’s when it happened, your lips pressed to Yuji’s with such confidence that he was certain it couldn’t have been the first time you’d done that tonight. You pulled away from Yuji a moment later, watching his eyes open half heartedly as he chased your lips. You missed this feeling, drunk with music pounding all around you and an attractive someone’s hands all over you. Yuji wasn’t his best friend, the one you really wanted was Megumi. For now, his polar opposite best friend would be enough to satisfy your drunken mind.

Or at least that’s what you thought. Suddenly you were looking up at the man in question, his eyes full of hatred as he stared at the two of you. “Yooooo Fushiguroooo!” Yuji, clueless as ever, just smiled dopely at his best friend. He didn’t respond, he didn’t even look at him. Instead his eyes were focused on you, it was enough to send a flurry of butterflies swarming around your insides. “Get out of the pool.” You watched his jaw clench, his hands were balled into fists, as if he was daring you to try and defy him. You felt laughter bubbling in your chest, your little Megumi was trying so hard to be intimidating.

“Why? I’m having fun.” You pulled Yuji a little closer, chest pressing to him as you smirked up at Megumi. “Get the fuck out of the pool.” He repeated, throat bobbing as he swallowed. For once he didn’t care if anyone was paying attention to him, he didn’t care if he made a fool out of himself, he was getting you out of that pool. He was getting you away from Yuji. You tilted your head, a smile tugging up your lips in a way that Megumi would have found sweet if it weren’t for the look in your eyes. “Is something bothering you?” Your hands were grabbing at Yuji’s face, the poor boy was too far gone to really pay attention to you and Megumi’s conversation.

You pressed your lips to his again, a kiss Yuji greedily accepted. Your hands traveled to bury in his wet hair, legs wrapping around his waist. He was taller than you, his feet could still reach the bottom whereas you were struggling. One eye peaked open, aiming to gauge Megumi’s reaction. Instead you were left hanging, the man in question was no longer by the pool’s edge. You parted from Yuji out of shock, he wasn’t even bothered, instead he began kissing your neck. You tried to look around, figure out where he could have disappeared to in such a short time.

Instead all you saw was drunk party goers doing an stay of things like dancing, laughing, low key fucking… you stopped the moment a second pair of arms met your waist. You tried to whirl around and look but you couldn’t, you didn’t need to really. You knew who it was the second their chest met your back. “D-did you really…?” Megumi had jumped in the pool, fully clothed. You were in for it now. He was quiet, not so gently tugging you away from Yuji. To his dismay, the pink haired man had already managed to leave a hickey on your neck. “Yo… Fushiguro? Whatta you doin?” His speech was slurring yet he let go of you easily, allowing Megumi to drag you through the water and towards the edge.

“None of your business.” It was quiet and full of anger, you just shrugged at Yuji as you were pulled away. “Am I still getting a ride home?” You shrugged again, yelping as Megumi forced you up the ladder first. “Fuck Fushiguro! Chill the fuck out.” You stumbled onto the concrete, apologizing half heartedly to anyone you bumped into. Megumi didn’t respond, instead he pulled himself out a moment after you, hand gripping your bicep as he pulled you away. “What the fuck is your problem?” Megumi was making a beeline for the pool house, tucked away in the corner of the large backyard.

“Oh now you aren’t going to answer me? Fucking Christ Fushiguro! If you wanna leave that badly call a fucking uber or something. I’m not driving either of us back to campus soaking wet, you jumping in the pool was your own damn fault! And you know what? How fucking dare you pull me away from Yuji!” His grip grew tighter, so much so that you nearly yelped. “Answer me you ass!” You no longer felt the effects of the alcohol you had consumed, now, nothing but anger was left in its wake. “I can’t believe this! Really! I shouldn’t have even asked you to come. I should have just taken Yuji.”

You were about to continue your ranting but Megumi had you tucked away and out of sight, your back pressed harshly to the wooden exterior of the pool house. “If you would just quit bitching for five fucking seconds and let me fucking talk.” His face was inches from yours, hands now pressed to the wall caging in your head. “You are fucking unbearable. Seriously. I can’t fucking stand you.” You scoffed as he drew out each word, as if he was talking to a child. “I can’t fucking stand you either bozo. If you dragged me over here like some creep just to berate me, I’m fucking leaving your ass here.”

You tried to duck under his arm, instead he lowered it, body moving closer until you were really trapped. “I wasn’t fucking finished.” You swallowed, lips pressing together in a tight line. He was close, too close even. You found it hard not to think back on what you had done earlier in the day, something that felt like it occurred decades ago at this point. “You have been nothing but a pain in my fucking ass for months now. You love to fucking piss me off, you know just how to get under my fucking skin. Honestly it’s impressive at this point.” He paused, eyes trailing over your unreadable expression.

“Then you to and fuck youself using my cock. You acted so fucking smug, like it was the easiest thing in the word for you to get on that couch and stuff yourself full of me. It fucking pisses me off. You are all I’ve been able to fucking think about, and then I find you with Yuji.” You were frozen, not expecting his berating to take the turn you had been hoping it would. “Does it bother you? Does it bother you I would have fucked your best friend if you didn’t interrupt?” He moved closer, your mind shutting down for a moment when you felt something hard press to your hip. “Does it feel like it bothered me?”

You swallowed, eyes shifting between his face and somewhere behind him. You suddenly lost the confidence to maintain eye contact with him. “Well?” He sounded a bit calmer, still waiting for you to reply. He took your silence as an opportunity to finally look at your bathing suit, which had been teasing him since you left the dorms.

It was a two piece, a stringy top clinging to your chest with a pair of bottoms that hugged you perfectly. It flattered you in every possible way, for a moment Megumi almost forgot why he was so pissed off to begin with.

There was something about you that made him feel so… pliant. Like he would be putty in your hands the second you showed any signs of reciprocation. “Fushiguro…” you weren’t sure what to say, your voice hesitant for once while talking to him. You knew what you wanted, you could feel what he wanted, yet you were still waiting for him to take control. You didn’t necessarily want to answer him, you wanted him to act on his own accord. “Do whatever you want.” There was a small bite in your tone, one that made a smile pull at your lips. At least there was a teeny bit of attitude left in you.

Those were dangerous words for Megumi to hear, a low groan slipping past his lips as his head fell. With his face falling from view, it gave you a second to catch your breath, for a split second you were able to ignore how close his body was. As his head raised to meet you, another thought crossed your mind. Everything had been such a whirlwind up until this very second, so much so that you had neglected to fully appreciate Megumi with his hair down. His black hair was dripping wet, plastered to his forehead in some places. Despite that, it was already beginning to stick up again in other areas.

Maybe that really was the way his hair naturally sat.

“Say it again.” He murmured, the bite in his voice gone for that brief second. “Say what?” You knew what he wanted, yet you still couldn’t let him have his way, always needing to find a way and make it difficult. “You know what.” There it was, that angry tone that made butterflies whirl around your body. “Do whatever you want, Megumi.” You drew out the end of his name, tensely anticipating what he’d do because of it. Softly, just barely audible you heard him mumble something that sounded a lot like “fuck it.” You couldn’t process it for long, his lips crashed against your’s with so much force your head hit the wall behind you.

A strangled yelp died on your lips as Megumi consumed it. Your hands reached up to plant themselves on his wet chest, nails digging into the damp material to pull him even closer. A larger hand came up to grab the back of your neck, the other reaching for your waist as his teeth sunk into your bottom lip. You groaned, mouth parting to easily welcome his tongue. You hoped no one was drunk enough to stumble back this way, your whole body feeling as if it was lit on fire as Megumi pressed you up against the wall behind you. It felt as if you were trying to consume each other from the inside out.

You tug until the material begins to strain under your touch, only then do his hands leave you to pull the garment off of him. You wanted to pull away, appreciate his fully bare torso rather than the little sliver you got back in the common room. Megumi, however, wouldn’t let your lips leave his, only satisfying your urges by pressing his body fully against yours again. His skin was hot to the touch, still damp from jumping in the pool. You moaned, hands roaming over every inch you could touch while shivers passed through his broad frame. You pulled away reluctantly, gasping for air as Megumi’s hands came up to cup your cheeks, aiming to pull your lips back to his.

“Fuck… Lemme breathe.” Your chest heaving against his as he mumbled an apology. It was quiet, save for the pounding music further up the yard, right now it felt as if that party was miles away. “Are you okay with this? Here? It’ll be kind of tricky.” Your nails were scraping his hips, a look of pure lust passing over his face as he squirmed under your touch. “Does the pool house… have anything? Or is it just equipment.” He was staring at your lips as he spoke, hands still cupping your face. “I-I don’t remember… but there has to be something in there we can use…” he was on you again, lips meeting yours as his hands left your face and moved to your ass.

You squealed as he hauled you upwards, finding it hard to miss the smirk on his face. “A warning would help.” Your lips were back on his before he could even respond, nails scraping up his shoulders. You gasped, pulling away from him as your back left the wall, lips moving to suction to his neck as he quickly carried you around to the front of the pool house. You knew it was getting to him, your teeth sinking into the sensitive junction where his shoulder met his neck. “Fuck.” He missed the doorknob first go, hand fumbling to grab it a second time and shove it open. “So eager.” You teased as he kicked the door shut behind him. “Looks like it’s our lucky day.”

You pulled away from his neck, turning to survey the dark room. It seems they had turned it into a guest house rather than a pool storage area. There was a bed, a dresser and a TV on the wall. On the other end there was a large pool table. Pool supplies and equipment were shoved in the corner. “Damn, you’re right.” You deadpanned, lips moving back to bite his earlobe. He groaned, nails digging into your flesh as he made a beeline for the sizable bed. You were dropped unceremoniously down onto the soft comforter, your damp bathing suit already making a mark. It didn’t take long for Megumi to crawl over you, knees planting firmly between your thighs.

There was a moment of silence, the dull thrum of music playing just beyond the walls. Megumi’s lips pressed to yours again, teeth sinking into your bottom lip as he moved to tug your bathing suit top off. Your nails dug into his shoulders, scrapping upwards in hopes of leaving marks while arching your back enough for him to pull the knot loose. Megumi pulled away the moment he felt the strings come loose, one aching thought had been desperately wanting to see your breasts. “Stop fucking pulling away.” You held back a smirk as your top was tossed off to the side, watching as Megumi’s eyes drank in every inch of skin.

“Shut up.” he mumbled a delayed response as his lips descended on your chest. You held in a shaky gasp, relishing in the feeling of his swollen lips against your skin. A large hand came up to massage the soft flesh while the other was lavished under his tongue. You buried a hand in his hair, tugging softly as he rolled the pebbled skin between two fingers. Heat pooled in your gut the longer he toyed with your breasts, “fuck… these are so cute.” he licked up your sternum, teeth scraping your collarbone as he moved to return the favor by biting your ear. “Megumi…” your chest was heaving, waiting for him to do more.

He glanced at your flushed face, lips parted as if silently begging him for more. Your chest was glistening with his saliva, dark bruises forming sporadically on your breasts. “Hmm?” he hummed, hands coming down to hook under your knees and push them upwards. “What do you want?” he murmured as he took your earlobe in his mouth, hips lowering to press against yours with his new angle. “More… want you… inside.” your hips jolted to meet his, the smallest bit of relief washing through you as you met his sloppy thrusts. “Mmm I’ve already been inside though…” he stopped rolling his hips, pressing himself tightly to your aching cunt. “Want you…inside again…”

You felt drunk off his touch, the alcohol in your system felt like nothing compared to the way he was making you feel. “Is that so? I was thinking of something else honestly…” he pushed himself back up, admiring you for a moment as he got off the bed. You pushed yourself up, using your elbows for balance as you watched Megumi get on his knees. “Do you mind?” he was already hooking a slim finger under the band of your bathing suit bottoms. “N-not at all.” You couldn’t bear the eye contact, choosing to lay flat on your back as Megumi exposed your cunt for a second time. You tried to slow your breathing, hands twitching to grab the comforter below you.

You waited, eyes peeking open when Megumi still hadn’t done anything. “What are you…” he laughed softly, hands spreading your thighs further apart. “Just looking… now do me a favor.” He pushed upwards a bit so you could make better eye contact. “Keep these spread nice and wide for me. If you even try to close them I’ll walk out and leave you here with no clothes.” You let your head fall back in order to keep him from seeing you roll your eyes. “Yeah yeah I got it-“ you gasped as a harsh slap made your thighs shake. “Don’t fucking roll your eyes.” you nodded, a hand slapping over your mouth in an attempt to hide how it made you feel, his low chuckle told you it didn’t help.

You braced yourself as his hands left your thighs, two fingers roughly spreading you open. Megumi’s fingers trailed between your slick folds, collecting your arousal before spitting on his fingers, plunging two of them knuckle deep with no warning a moment later. You cried out at the sudden intrusion, back arching as he scissored you roughly. His mouth met your clit a second later, licking in time with the way his fingers spread inside of you. Instead of thrusting them in and out, he began massaging them in different areas, clearly looking for something. You kept your thighs spread as he asked, hands gripping the comforter tightly as you forced your hips not to jerk. Your head flew back, a loud cry leaving your lips as he found what he was looking for.

“There we go…” his mouth was back on your clit a moment later, two fingers massaging the spongy part of your walls. You felt breathless, a whine leaving your lips with every exhale. Megumi loved every second, your cunt coating his fingers in your warm arousal as he kept abusing your g-spot. Slowly, his hand lowered to palm himself through his pants, fingers fumbling to pull the wet material open so he could properly relieve his tension. He freed his aching cock, hand wrapping around his length to sloppily pump himself. “Megumi…” you mewled, hand shooting down to grab a fistful of his hair to keep him in place as your orgasm crept up on you.

He didn't fight back, eager to feel you cum around his fingers as he chased his own release. “Megumi fuck! Please…please” you pant, eyes squeezing shut as you begged for him to not leave you hanging. Megumi groaned against your cunt, panting as his tongue struggled to maintain a steady pace, his own release creeping up faster than he would have liked. Evey circle of his fingers made it feel as if you were about to burst open and make an absolute mess of the sheets below you. Instead of stopping him, you let it happen, aching to feel your cunt clench and gush around his fingers. Megumi focused his attention on his head, thumb brushing over his slit and hips jerking as he overstimulated himself.

You wailed his name as your orgasm crashed down on you, warm liquid rushing down your cunt and thighs, staining the sheets below you as you fought to keep from screaming. Your reaction alone was enough to have Megumi spilling into his fist as he worked you through your own release. He wasn’t done with you yet, pulling his fingers out of your tight heat as he stood to properly discard his bottoms. “M-Megumi please gimme… gimme a second… w-wait wait…” he was plunging himself into your already sensitive cunt, tears burning your eyes as you had no time to breathe. “Fuck!” you squirmed as his length split you open.

“You don’t get any mercy, you didn’t show me any.” his mouth was against your ear, his hands pushing your thighs towards your chest, successfully trapping you in a mating press. “Y-your just mad… I…” you lost your train of thought, not able to form a coherent sentence as Megumi’s hips drew backwards and slammed forward again. “Don’t give me shit when you got your pussy stuffed full of me.” your head turned to the side, eyes squeezing shut in embarrassment as the sound of skin on skin filled the room. Megumi chuckled at your embarrassment, finding satisfaction in the way you couldn’t look at him.

Megumi didn’t care how overstimulated he got, he was already addicted to the way your cunt clenched around him so tightly. “You look so— fuck—- fucking pretty when you cry.” You hadn’t realized you had been crying until he said something, eyes fluttering open with wet lashes. Your hands found stability in his hair once again, tugging on the strands until his lips met yours in a salty kiss. He whined, tongue lapping your mouth so you could taste your own arousal mixed with his saliva. That familiar tension was building in your gut tenfold, overly sensitive from your first release. “M-Megumi… please don’t… don’t cum in me this time.” You were positive you’d get pregnant if he were to cum in you twice in the same day.

“Oh don’t worry…” he had something else in mind, he could control himself enough to see it through. Megumi’s hand snuck down between your bodies, fingers finding your puffy clit to rub it harshly. You mewled, throat hoarse from the amount of times you’d said his name. “Come on… wanna feel your pretty pussy squeeze me tight again, been thinkin ‘bout it ever since.” He tugged your bottom lip between his teeth sucking it before letting it go again. You gasped, your second orgasm more intense than the first as your walls sputtered around his aching length. “Good girl…” he cooed, hips pistoning into you as your orgasm fizzled out. He wasn’t too far behind you, a few more thrusts until he was yanking himself back out.

“Squeeze these together.” He tapped your breasts as he kneeled, pulling your aching thighs down so he could straddle you instead. You did as you were told, eyes heavy as you blindly followed his instructions. Megumi pumped himself steadily, brows furrowing in the effort to keep himself from coming just yet. He placed the tip of his cock between your breasts, giving it a tentative press forward before pulling back. You whined, understanding his intentions as you squeezed your breasts together a little tighter. “Cum on me.” You mumbled, hazy eyes meeting his. “Fucking… don’t say that shit so causally..” he picked up his pace without realizing.

“Megumi~ please cum on me.” You repeated, mouth parting slightly so your tongue could slip out. The sensitive head of his cock met your warm tongue with every thrust forward, it was enough to have him double over, stars clouding his vision as his release spurted over your face and chest. You collected the little you could on your tongue, swallowing it as he stared down at you with a shocked expression. “Thank you.” You mumbled sleepily, not caring about the sticky mess that you had no way to clean. “Fuck…” he gasped, body giving out and collapsing beside you, careful to avoid the mess he left on you.

“Wanna do it again?” You had no energy, not even enough to lift your head. There was, however, something funny about the way you could feel Megumi’s body tense despite not being close enough to touch. “Fuck… give me a few minutes, yeah?” Oh. You blinked, head flopping lazily to the side to look at his sweaty form. “Well you’ll have to clean me up first, if you really wanna go again you’ll be doing all the work.” You were struggling to keep your eyes open, not expecting to hear the pool house door open a moment later.

“Fushiguro? Your shirt was outside are you…” any ounce of exhaustion in Megumi’s body left him the moment Yuji drunkenly stumbled inside. You gasped, curling in on yourself to try and shield your body from his view. Megumi was on top of you a second later, covering your body with his. “What the fuck Itadori?” He barked, angrier than he had ever sounded towards his best friend. Yuji was too many drinks to count, but it felt like a bucket of ice water had been dumped over him. “What the fuck me? What the fuck, you! Really bro?”

He dropped his shirt on the ground, suddenly getting defensive. “Get the fuck out, I’m not discussing shit with you, Itadori. Not right now.” The pink haired man didn’t seem to like that, face flushing with anger. “Oh get over yourself! You said you fucking hated her! Now I find you naked in bed with her? You knew I fucking liked her!” Yuji had no issues with Megumi pursuing you until you were all over him in that pool. Maybe he really was too drunk to have this conversation but betrayal was creeping its way up his chest. “Itadori, get out.” Megumi remained calm, feeling you tense under him at Yuji’s words.

He stared, unsure what to do. He glanced at you, just hidden from sight and knew for your sake it would be best for him to leave. So he did, shaking his head as he slammed the door behind him. “Can we just stay here tonight?” You mumbled after a moment of silence passed. “Yeah… we’ll deal with that… later.” Megumi got up, walking over to lock the door like he should have done in the first place. “I don’t think anyone will notice if we just spend the rest of the night here.” He stumbled back to the bed, laughing as you looked him up and down. “You still need to clean me up.” It was starting to turn sticky on your skin.

“That’s a personal problem for you to fix…” a pillow thrown at him was enough to have him collapsing on top of you, lips crashing messily to yours. “Fine… since I don’t want to listen to your bitching.” You rolled your eyes, kissing him again before pulling away. “Isn’t my bitching what got us here in the first place?” This time, Megumi rolled his eyes. “Maybe it was…”

Part 2? Likes, comments and reblogs are always welcome and appreciated 💞 - May

“Gentlemen,” Mikey says.

His voice doesn’t rise above its regular volume but the single word is enough to quiet the room of executives settled around the conference table.

He's standing at one end, a hand in the pocket of his slacks, the other tapping a random rhythm into the mahogany surface of the table as he regards his...what did you say these men were to him?

They're your friends Mikey.

His friends. Right.

He eyes Ran Haitani who balances on the back legs of the chair he's sitting on precariously. His loafer-clad feet crossed at the ankles on the table. Next to him, his brother sighs deeply, his thumb and forefinger massaging circles into the bridge of his nose.

Opposite them, Kokonoi and Kakucho appear deceptively calm. Kokonoi is chewing diligently on a piece of gum. His attempt at quitting cigarettes. Kakucho has one arm slung along the back of Koko's chair, his legs spread as he slouches in his chair. His eyes are closed, his head tipped back against the headrest. If Mikey didn't know better he'd think Kakucho was recovering from a night out drinking.

Of course, the truth is much wilder than Kakucho spending a night on the town.

Takeomi is absent. Naturally. Sanzu is sprawled in his own chair at the other end of the table. His guns are on the table as he shines his katana.

Mikey considers everything he's been through with the men in this room.

If you can let me in, then you can let them in.

He shudders as your words wash through him. You're like his fucking conscience. It's simultaneously the most unnerving and wonderful experience he's ever had. A voice of reason that isn't being paid in his blood money. He glances at Kakucho again quickly.

If you think these men have stuck around because you're paying them then you're dumber than I thought, Mikey.

Sanzu gently places his katana on the table and shakes out the little cloth he was using to shine it. He gives Mikey his full attention. the action seems to stir the others who also turn to him. Kakucho lifts a single brow at him in question.

And the action sets of something akin to...gratitude in Mikey. It's a wildly unfamiliar sensation and he has to quell the urge to rub his chest.

They would die for you, Mikey.

Yes, they would. He catches a glimpse of a cut running along Rindou Haitani's chest as the man shifts in his chair. The skin is shiny and puckered from healing and a pang goes off in his chest that almost knocks him on his ass.

These men would die for him.

A sudden clarity comes over him and he has to blink several times to reorient himself. It feels almost like someone has ripped whatever ill-fitting glasses he was wearing before off and he can see clearly now. Jesus Christ, these men would die for him.

He sinks heavily into his own chair. The weight of his previous oversight anchors him to the cushion.

"I have news," he blurts.

The words suck the air out of the room. Silence ensues for a handful of seconds and then...

"Oh my God, you knocked her up!"

Rindou reaches Ran before Mikey can react to his exclaimed words and slaps his brother in the back of the head.

"I-" Mikey starts, blinking in confusion. What?

"Jesus Christ Ran, so what if he has?" Rindou interrupts, glaring at his brother.

"I di-" Mikey tries again, his brows furrowed.

"That actually...that makes sense," Kokonoi says slowly, nodding. "I saw her eat half a cake by herself the other night."

Kakcuho is gaping at Mikey. But there's a twinkle in his eye that makes Mikey nervous.

"Wait a min-"

"I thought you'd never notice," Sanzu laughs from the other end of the table and Mikey's skin chills.

What?

"What?" He zones out. Something in his voice must get the others attention because the room goes quiet.

"That's not...the news?" Ran squints at him, his chair making a thudding sound as he settles onto all four legs.

Mikey swallows around a ball of spit that seems to be stuck in the back of his throat. Pregnant.

No- she can't be- she- but- but the crying...and the sensitive breasts. the cravings.

"I was going to say I'm getting married," he says, hollowly.

"Oh shit," Sanzu breathes.

"Fuck, Mikey."

"I thought it was obvi-" Kokonoi shrugs.

"She agreed to marry you?" Ran interjects. "Without-" he pauses to glance around the room quickly and then lowers his voice as he finishes his question "-putting up a fight?"

That gets the rooms attention.

"What the fuck kinda question is that?" Kakucho frowns. "She's in love with him."

That seems to throw Ran for a loop. His eyes narrow on Mikey who's still stupified by the realization that he might become a father and husband in the same breath.

"Maybe there is hope for me," Ran says.

Sanzu snaps at him. "Are you implying Mikey doesn't deserve her?"

Ran splutters. "What? No- Why the fuck would I-"

"Just be quiet," Rindou sighs.

"You really think she's pregnant?" Mikey asks, interrupting their squabble.

"Yes," Koko nods.

"Absolutely,” Rindou agrees.

"Half a fucking cake Mikey...in a single sitting."

Mikey blanches. “She’s pregnant.”

Koko chuckles.

“She’s fucking pregnant,” he repeats. There’s a note of distress in his tone. “With a baby. A child!?”

Kakucho gives him a knowing look. “Congratulations, Manjiro.”

Sanzu, who has been uncharacteristically quiet stands. “This means she can’t say no to a protection detail anymore.”

Mikey’s brain stutters. Protection. Because shes pregnant with your child and about to become your wife. She’s singlehandedly the most important person to Bonten. And to him.

“Oh fuck.”

Rindou shakes his head. “We need to start personally vetting Bonten members now.”

“Why did it take a child and a marriage to convince you of that and not the two times we’ve been double crossed?” Kakucho questions.

“Do you want to deal with a Mikey whose wife and child are hurt or murdered?”

The room falls quiet as all eyes fall to Kokonoi. A heavy tension settles on Mikey’s shoulders. He’s having a child. Maybe. And getting married. Definitely.

And he runs one of the most dangerous organizations in the world. With over a hundred thousand employees worldwide. And stakes in every major and even some minor pies, in every industry.

He’s not sure of much except his own success and frankly, inhuman work ethic. But as the realization that his life is changing. Developing into something better, something more. He’s sure that if anything ever happens to you or his unborn child…he would unravel.

“Can we circle back to her wanting to marry him?” Ran asks, breaking the tension. “Without being coerced?”

---

𖨆♡𖨆 hanma shuji x fem!reader

╰┈➤ thrown into an arrange marriage with toman’s second man, you slowly come to find that not even your lost memories will stop him from getting what he wants. and what he wants is not you.

cw. amnesia, HEAVY ANGST, adultery, physical abuse (not towards reader), intimidation, alcohol, psychological trauma, illnesses, mentions of pregnancy, explicit smut, tension, mentions of bodily harm, mentions of food, mentions of alcohol, MINORS/AGELESS/BLANK BLOGS DNI

╳  playlist                                      ╳ masterlist

#6: you love me but you're hollow (part 1)

Anticipation mingled with dread thrummed hard in his veins.

Wafts of nicotine surrounded him, shrouding half of his face in smoke and filtering around his car like a comforting friend.

Y/N will start her nagging, he thought, stubbing out the stick and maneuvering the steering wheel with one hand past a familiar bend. You never did like the smell of cigarettes and he found himself smoking less and less around you, wanting to not trigger your pout and endless chatterings on how bad these little “cancerous sticks”—as you deemed them—were harmful to his health.

Shuji snorted, a fond smile tugging the corners of his lips.

You could be so adorable that it made him already miss you. If he tilted his head to the side, he could still catch whiffs of your floral Chanel perfume, reminding him of the debauchery you both partook in before he had driven off. 

The journey to downtown Tokyo where flashy skyscrapers made way for modest apartments and run-down buildings took longer than he expected from traffic, and the moment Shuji stopped the car in front of a familiar four-story townhouse, he steeled himself for what he had to do.

There would be little doubt that Ichika would take horribly to the news, but he was ready to face it. Ready to own up to his mistakes. As much as he wished he could have a clean break from her, the reality was not as easy. 

The woman he once called his own was suspected of carrying his child—a combination of him and her deep in her body—that made him turn green around the edges with nausea. Unlike other married men entangled in extraneous affairs, he did not keep a burner phone and resorted to flagrantly flaunting his infidelity anytime he could, and the repercussions would come and bite him back in the ass for not keeping track of his mistress’ cycle. 

Mistress. Funny how a few short weeks can change a man’s mind. Just a month ago, he had vowed to never fall in love you; that his wife was too plain and unassuming to ever capture his attention.

Like the fates themselves were laughing at him, they drew out the most ironic Uno reverse card and made sure that he would eat his own words.

Do not seek me out unless I find you first. 

The memory of his fear when he discovered you missing from the gala’s table, and the subsequent panic he had at the idea that someone could’ve taken you. Shuji had been a fool to dismiss that it was merely his duty to Kisaki that tied him to you and not his latent anxiety that you could’ve gotten hurt.

You are not allowed to kiss me unless I initiate it first to save our face. 

Easily the top five memories to flood his mind would be of your sweet lips on his. How they molded exactly to his shape—the softness of them between his teeth. Your taste heavy on his tongue, like sunshine, honey and something intrinsically intoxicating that was purely you. Shuji was sure that if you took your kisses away from him, he would die like a man who was deprived of oxygen in the form of your breaths shared intimately with his. 

And three… don’t fall in love with me.

An idiot. A pure, unadultered idiot. Everything that he had harshly instructed to you the fateful night of your marriage had turned on its head. Instead of you breaking his rules, he was the first and only one to disobey them. You remained true to his wishes, and suddenly Shuji was afraid.

No… she loves me. His reasoning kicked in. She loves me and I love her. And after I do this, I can finally show her how much I love her. 

In an unhurried gait, the first thing he did was to walk up straight to her unassuming unit, knuckles rapping smartly on the door. The chipped wooden barrier pulled back, and the sight of his ex-mistress on the other end nearly made his resolve falter. Wet, red rimmed eyes and mused hair, misery lining every crevice of her once beautiful face. 

The first time he met her, Ichika reminded him of a famous Japanese actress. Her sweet, congenial smile, sparkling brown eyes and slim nose with her perfect complexion was hard to ignore, even through his fog of alcohol and smoke as he sat with the rest of his underlings to unwind after a hard mission. 

“Hey,” Shuji’s frown carved through her periphery, and a small ball of regret curled itself underneath his ribcage at how exhausted she appeared. 

Listless brown eyes, once sparkling with vitality, flickered slightly. “Hey. Come in.”

Ichika stepped aside, and Hanma entered her apartment for the first and last time, cognizant of the fact that he would never want to step foot back here again if he could help it. He opened his mouth, about to speak when she interjected in a voice hoarse from crying.

 “You’re cruel, you know that, Shuji?” Wrapping her arms around her frail form, she mustered enough vitriol for a glare which did little to shake him. “You’re mean. I hate you.”

At least she’s not hurting me or holding a knife to my neck. Shuji counted his blessings that his mistress was not one for violence, unlike his wife whom he suspected could have a vicious streak if she put her mind to it.

Bowing his head, Shuji recognized how hard this choice was—to let go of the life he previously thought he could live with the woman he once loved. Things have changed, and it was because of you that his eyes were opened wide to the knowledge that if he were to let this affair go on, he would lose out on the best thing he ever had in this life.

“There’s not much I can say besides I’m—”

“Sorry?” Ichika finished for him, a note of sarcasm in her brittle whisper. “You’ve ruined my life for the worst and all you can say is you’re sorry? You disgust me, Shuji.”

He bit down on the words he wanted to hurl towards her, letting her assuage her anger onto his deserving ass. Ichika had every right to rage at him, hit him if it made her happy, and for once in his life, Shuji would let someone else have the upperhand on him if it meant his future with you would be preserved. 

Before the 6’5 man could open his mouth and spare her a few decencies in the form of apologies, her slap richocheted across his face, bringing with it a stinging aftertaste that left him reeling. Golden eyes flashed, but he did not retaliate, passively accepting her rage. Another slap, and this time, the end of her expensive, Tiffany&Co ring he had bought for her months ago, caught into his cheek, leaving a small gash and a bite of pain. Hanma took one step back, jaw tightening, and he was about to speak up when she started sobbing.

“I’ll tell her about us!” 

His heart stopped. Starting back up took some time to gather his composure, and despite his promises that he would end this relationship right here and now, little could actually he followed through once he was faced with the duplicity of her actions.

“What?” his rich and deep voice, always with a note of softness for her was all steel. “What did you fucking say?” 

Ichika faced him with streaming eyes, and she chuckled caustically, the sound verging on mania. “I’ll tell her everything—our affair, the relationship we had before she fucking waltzed into the picture. I’ll tell Tomio. I’ll even tell Kisaki if you don’t fucking own up for your mistake and help me, Shuji.”

Her threats were paper thin at best, but Shuji felt a trickle of unease stir his soul. “Do you know who I am?” Standing to his full height, he sauntered over to her, a terrifying sneer plastered onto his face, and for a split second, a flash of fear eclipsed her expression. That’s right—she had to know her place. “I’m the second most dangerous man in Toman. With one single word, I can end your life right where you stand and bury your body where no else can find you. Do not—”

She screamed in pain when he grasped the base of her throat, almost completely cutting off her air supply, her back hitting the wall. Shuji was merciless when he pressed down on her windpipe, about to crush it when she wheezed out, “I-I’m pregnant.”

Two words, but it was enough to zap him off his murderous intent. He let her go and she slumped onto the floor, gasping loudly, choking on stuttered inhales as she massaged her abused throat. Looking up at him with watery eyes she sniffled, pointing towards the kitchen shelf with a trembling finger. “P-pregnancy test. There. See. For y’self.”

Ichika’s voice was hoarse with unshed tears and panic, and her wide eyes never left his broad back when he unglued his limbs; walking towards the direction she indicated and pulling open the drawer. The pregnancy test was hastily stuffed in between wad of papers, but he could plainly make out those lines that seemed to cut into him like glass. Those two deep lines that hurt more than serrated edges of a knife.

Shuji thought his world would collapse around him, and he had to hold onto the edge of the wooden cabinet to catch his breath. Her quiet sobs pierced through the roaring in his ears, and he lifted his head, the unfair decision he had to make weighing heavily on his shoulders. As much as he wanted to disregard Ichika as merely a mistress, the truth was not as simple. 

She had been with him from the very start—tended to his wounds, shared her laughter and cheer with him, helped him become someone better and she had a right to be angry; it was her perception that you would be reaping the rewards of him being a better man that she worked so hard to instill. Harumi Ichika was once the woman of his dreams, and he could not change that. Just as much as he could not change the softening of his ice-cold heart towards her pitiful cries. 

Her breath caught when she felt his arms around her, and then, the sturdy press of his chest under her cheek. Barely giving any time to gather her wits, Shuji spoke. “I’m sorry. I was too harsh—too cruel. I will take care of you and the baby if you choose to have it. But, I still can’t divorce my wife… you know what’s at stake.”

Ichika could barely believe her plan worked. “Yes,” she muttered, squeezing her eyes shut and thanking every listening deity that Shuji would still be hers. “I know, and I’m sorry. I never meant… I didn’t mean to make you panic.” 

Shuji sighed, and rubbed his large palm up and down her back, soothing her. “I don’t want you to get an abortion. It’s wrong.” Mind foggy with grief and remorse, he fished inside the pocket of his pants, and removed the familiar velvet box. “Here.” 

Her breath hitched when he revealed a simple, pearlescent ring from the inky depths. Taking it out from its swathes of silk, he slipped the too tight circle onto her right ring finger, where it barely fit past her knuckle. A ring for the love of his life adorning the finger of another to appease the horrors he inflicted onto her.

“It says ‘to the love of my life’,” she murmured, turning her hand this way and that to let the ring catch onto snatches of light. “It’s a little too small, but it’s perfect.” 

Her smile brought equal parts relief and grief to him. But, he covered it up with his signature lackaidasal grin, chain earring brushing his cheek when he leaned forward to give her a perfunctory peck on her cheek. “I’m sorry I let my anger get the best of me.”

Ichika shook her head, and though his fingers had dug deep into her skin, there were barely any marks around her neck. His perversion forever hidden from the light. “You’re a fucking menance, Shuji,” her smile fractured slightly in the corners, “But I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

He retraced the column of her throat, the warmth of his touch setting off curlicues of yearning straight into her soul. “Shuji, do you love me?” 

Why don’t you ever tell me you love me? 

Unprompted, that morose question in the sweet cadence of your voice flashed through his mind. Rendering him mute with misery. I’m so sorry, Y/N… I’m so weak. 

“Don’t tell her about us,” was his reply to her uncomfortably vulnerable question. “And do not let word of your pregnancy reach others, okay?” Those golden hued orbs took on a sheen of firmness that left her with barely any doubt that Shuji’s hands around her throat was just a precursor to the true punishment should she step out of line. “You know what’s at stake if it does.” 

She swallowed hard. It’s not fair. While Ichika kept him like an oath, he kept her as a secret, never to be seen in broad daylight. Didn’t she always tell herself that the life of a mistress was a sad one? Her luck was that she would never love the man who owned her heart, body and soul no matter how much it pained her that you were in the spot she so rightfully deserved. 

“I’ll be in the city settling business, but I’ll call you when I’m free,” he murmured, giving her a weary smile. 

Idiot. You fucking idiot. 

What kind of man was he that he could not make a decision and choose the woman he loved? Ichika was nothing but a burden to him, and yet, the knowledge that she was carrying his child—willingly wanting to hold onto a piece of him no matter how it hurt her—turned his resolve upside down. I’m a fool.

But, when she nuzzled her face into his neck and wished him a safe drive back, he could do nothing but hope that wherever the pieces fell, it would not crush him. Or, you. 

I’m sorry, Y/N. The ring on her finger shone brightly, a telltale sign of his reluctant commitment to her; one that did not even fit right or sound like the truth when he said, “Take care of yourself.” 

She closed the door on him, departing one last smile, a gracious farewell that he did not deserve. Nor want. A bitter sense of self-loathing washed over him, borne from years of standing by the sidelines as his mother conceived and lost multiple babies; his father’s fists striking her abdomen, the children she cried over. His brothers and sisters who never got a chance to live.

If Ichika wanted to keep the baby and her promise to not expose him, who was he to refuse? 

Especially when the child belonged solely to him—and there was no mistaking that it did. One look into her lacrymose and earnest eyes would tell him enough of the truth. 

Fuck. He was a father. No matter how much he tried to tell himself that it was a smart choice—the humane one—Shuji could not shake off the feeling that what he did would be the last straw that would tilt the scale firmly towards the end of tragedy for his romance story. Firmly lodging itself someplace between foolish hope that you would never find out the truth and the excruciating idea that if you ever did, there was nothing he could do to assuage your righteous anger towards him.

The both of you had entered this world of marriage with a mutual understanding that you would never have his heart because he kept it hidden in the arms of another woman.

And now, there was so much more at stake than where his heart laid.

You. His wife.

Shuji could not afford to fuck up. He would need a solid plan to finally take Ichika out of his life for good. 

Before you would walk out of his life—for good.

You stared at the dimly-lit screen, gnawing on your lower lip. 

The sky was a steel grey, looming with swollen rain clouds. Of all the memories that remained in your fragile mind, the hatred of rain remained your biggest one. You shrank back under the awning of the hospital’s shade, fiddling with your phone. 

Should I call him? 

The scathing inner voice scoffed. And say what? You miss him? You know he’s on a mission so why even bother. 

Standing outside of the hospital, your mind was a million miles away. Shuji would at least text you back to let you know when you could expect him to return but your phone was as silent as a grave. The thoughts would not give you a respite.

What if he’s hurt? Is he bleeding? Oh god—you gripped your phone tighter, stomach churning with anxiety. What if he’s dead?

You don’t get to ruminate on it long before a familiar luxury sedan draws up right in front of you. Echoing a scene from what felt like a lifetime ago, Chifuyu’s grin carved its way into your periphery and you barely had time to greet him when he got out of the car, dapper in a pressed suit and a single gold earring adorning his left lobe.

“Y/N. Hey.”

“Chifuyu,” you smiled, darting your gaze to the darkened interior of his car. “What brings you here?”

“Oh, yeah. Your father can’t come to see you today because some gang issues came up so he asked me to look out for you now that Hanma’s on a mission.” His sincerity left no room for your doubts, low voice a calming timber. Charmingly cocking his head to the side, Chifuyu gestured towards the car. “Do you want to go ahead with the doctor’s appointment or do you want to go out for some ice cream?”

You debated the options you had at your feet. On one hand, your father would be waiting for a progress update even if he couldn’t make it to this appointment—to see if your words rang true and he could rest his worries on the shoulders of a future heir. While on the other hand, dropping your duties for a day of fun with Chifuyu held a mighty appeal, and you waged war internally on these decisions.

Eventually, duty outweighed leisure and you nodded towards the hospital doors. “Will you please accompany me for my checkup?”

Chifuyu did not refuse and gestured for you to lead the way.

Inside the fluorescent office, the smell of bleach and antiseptic stung, and you had to breathe slowly to not trigger the sudden, irrational wave of nausea. Second to rain, you hated hospitals with a passion, their sterile and rigid walls too constricting and overbearing for someone of your timidity. 

The doctor stepped in after a few minutes, her kindly smile unwavering as she inquired about your health. You did your best to tell her the truth; how you were more tired lately and attributed it to your amnesia, the ache in your joints and the unpredictability of your sleep schedule. She jotted it down, and because Chifuyu was most likely aware of your situation after the fiasco at the L/N mansion, you made sure to meekly tell her you suspected you were pregnant.

It didn’t fully sink in to you how dangerous it was to play with Tomio’s trust and lead him on until the cool gel was smeared onto your belly. The silence highlighted your heavy breathing, and Chifuyu’s eyes on you were not helping your nerves in the least. You gulped down on your fear, mind racing a mile a minute.

What would you tell your father when the results came back and you did not have his heir?

Your death was signed on the dotted line with red ink, if that were the case. L/N Tomio would never forgive you and the punishment he held over your head would be multiplied by tenfold. You clutched the blanket tightly, eyes never leaving the grainy screen.

Intermittently, you would flicker your gaze towards the preoccupied doctor, trying to catalogue any change of emotion on her stony countenance. 

She flicked a switch and the room went silent. 

Anytime now, your sentence would be announced and you would have to face an even larger retribution. Chifuyu’s face was like the older doctor’s—solemn and unmoving. Waiting for the truth. 

Would he rat you out to Tomio? 

Would this man you thought of as a friend leak out your deepest secret to someone who had the power to hurt you? 

Your heart clenched and you almost choked on your spit. What would happen to Shuji? Your mind fell into a trap of fear and panic, inner turmoil loudly clanging for attention as you remained mute with apprehension. It was certain he would lose more than just four fingers—your husband may lose his whole hand and Kisaki’s trust. Toman’s support for him would be shaky at best, and he would fall from grace all because of your grave mistake in blurting out stupid, stupid lies—

A swooping sound filled your ringing ears. Loud and alien-like, it reminded you of holding your head for too long underwater till only your heartbeat was pounding in the forefront of your senses. You had no idea what that foreign noise was. 

“Oh. Hmm. Just as I thought. Well, Mrs. Hanma, it turns out there’s a huge reason for your sickness and fatigue… though I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you twice.”

The heavy pressure in the room lessened. Your chest, however, remained tight.

The curl of your tongue felt like it was caught on the roof of your mouth. You could barely speak; your thoughts colliding into a disbelieving stupor. This cannot be true. 

The world spun completely off its axis. You catalogued the doctor’s warm smile; the sound of Chifuyu’s short chuckle shattered in your mind like an interrupted melody. 

A shaky breath stumbled past your frozen lips, your mind fully blanking and not registering her next words. 

“Congratulations, Mrs. Hanma,” the doctor gestured to the screen and gave you a warm smile that did not touch your soul. 

“You’re four weeks pregnant.”

Ichika stared at the pile of paperwork, her mind a million miles away.

Ever since Shuji had left her apartment to be with you, her entire welfare was a mess; bags weighed heavily underneath her eyes, her lips were constantly drawn into a frown and there was something lackluster about her whole countenance. 

People were noticing—as they always did—and imparted some kindly concern for her wellbeing.

Are you sleeping enough, Ichika-chan? 

You should go and see a doctor.

Please drink more water. 

A hand slammed onto the desk, and she jolted, scrambling up from her seat to hastily bow when she noticed who it was. Kisaki’s beady eyes were narrowed, as if he were trying to examine her entire form with x-ray goggles. 

“Sir?” 

“I need you to schedule me this meeting with some Blood Phoenixes investors,” he paused, raking his eyes up and down her form. “You look terrible. Please fix yourself up; you’re the front receptionist for fuck’s sake.”

She bowed low, waiting for him to depart. He left her alone to her simmering thoughts, and she bit on her lower lip. 

As if her day could not get any worse, you arrived. 

Instantly, everyone shot up from their work desks, bowing low much to your quiet chagrin and you greeted them with polite nods and a soft good morning. 

Fucking bitch. Ickika put on a smile, bowing low the moment you approached the front desk. Your entire outfit put together would’ve cost her a week’s worth of rent, and she eyed the YSL coat hanging off your shoulders and how your milky pink gel manicured nails were nervously twisting your golden watch. 

“I’m sorry if this is so sudden, but is Shuji here? I need to speak to him.”

Before Ichika could open her mouth, Kisaki’s voice rebounded across the floor. “Y/N! Good to see you here.” The yakuza leader sauntered over to you, hands in his pockets and a faint smile on his odious face. “I’ll take over from here,” he announced to the other receptionists and Ichika bowed low once more for the both of you. 

You were ushered away by Toman’s top brass in a matter of seconds, away from the brunette’s fallen expression. 

“You look well,” Kisaki praised you loudly. “And you’re glowing, too. Shuji must be treating you right, huh?” 

Glowing. Ichika’s stomach turned. It reminded her of the predicament she put herself in. Speak of the devil. Her phone vibrated and she read his message in one quick glance. 

My Shuji 🖤: We need to get you to the doctor. I have to see how far along you are.

The pretty secretary clicked her phone shut, running a hand down her face. Exhaustion was spelled out on every crevice of her countenance, and she almost did not hear someone speaking to her.

“Ichika-chan, do you have the—are you alright?” 

She wanted to open her eyes and retort, but a chilling voice spoke again. Your presence back to haunt her. 

“Could you please speak to Shuji-san and free up his time later this afternoon?” Despite her reservations, Ichika got up and bowed uneasily to you.

“I’m sorry, ma’am, but Shuj—Hanma-san—” she corrected herself quickly, “—Is on a mission right now.”

Her little blip drew your complete silence. Mari, the new receptionist, had also overheard her slip of tongue and stared wide-eyed at the two women. Tension swirled around both your forms, thick enough that one could slice it through with a butter knife. The look on your face was easy enough to decipher. Since when is this woman so casually acquainted with my husband to use his real name?

Ichika rushed to cover her tracks. “My apologies for appearing so casual, ma’am,” she bowed deeply again and straightened. “I have worked with Hanma-san for a few years now, but that is no excuse for me to refer to him in such an easy way. Please, forgive me for any misunderstandings.”

You took a second to let her explanation sink in. Softening, you nodded. “It is not an issue.”

Stupid bitch. Ichika kept her smile plastered on though her thoughts were swimming with vitriol. 

“Regardless, do let Hanma-san know that I requested him urgently, thank you.” You turned on your back, red-bottomed heels clacking on the floor. Rushes of clothes and loud scraping sounds from chairs pushing back hastily greeted your departing figure, every Tamakaro employee bowing in your direction until the elevator doors closed on you.

“Y/N-san is so nice,” Mari enthused, the moment Ichika sat back down. Leaning forward as if to conspire with her, the air-headed receptionist bubbled, “I heard how smitten Hanma-san is with her. They just recently got back from Kanagawa and she’s glowing. Rumors are going around that she’s pregnant.”

Ichika’s heart dropped right to her ass. 

Pregnant? Her entire expression was leached of color and Mari noticed. “I-Ichika-chan. Are you alright—”

“Cover for me,” she briskly stood up, gripping her purse and slinging it over her shoulder. “I need to check on something, okay?” 

“Ichika—”

The brunette did not heed her cries. Spinning on her heel, she shot a quick text to Shuji, calling for the elevator.

Can we do it another day? I’m not feeling so good.

Stepping into the enclosed space, she waited until the doors closed before sagging against the cool wall. 

There was no denying what her two eyes saw. The lustrous color of your hair, the health on your cheeks and the shine of your smile spoke volumes to how well her boyfriend was treating you. 

Ichika had suspected for a while that a shift had taken place in your marriage, though she was hesitant to bring this up with Shuji. What could she say? Whatever Shuji did with you behind closed doors was none of her business—no matter how much her heart was bleeding for it to be concerning her.

Some nights, she fell asleep thinking about how different life would be if she was truly carrying his child. Ichika had seen it in how Shuji’s eyes softened at the idea of having a family. The silent yearning that stretched from the tips of his long fingers that rubbed the soft of her belly hours after he had nearly strangled her, in quiet awe of the perceived life he cultivated in another woman’s body. He would have made a great father to her babies.

The pretty secretary swallowed down on her tears, cursing your name again. Why couldn’t she be someone of your power and status? Why did fate have to dole out an unfair hand just for the pleasure of watching her struggle every single day for recognition—for a place to lay her head and find a nook of belonging? You must know how much you ruined her life. You must know that.

And once again, fate taunted her with the life she could not have when she ran into Shuji himself in the main lobby, just minutes after you had left.  

Ichika still had a part to play in front of society and Kisaki’s people, despite her current status as Shuji’s mistress. Though the entire office floor probably knew of their affairs, as judging from their open mouth gapes at Toman’s second striding purposefully towards her, they dared not raise a single complaint or suggestion. 

The hand tattooed with ‘Sin’ gripped her free hand, and he bent forward, expression unreadable. “Follow me. Now.” 

This was out of line for Shuji’s character. The man who insisted they never interact in broad daylight was cocking his eyebrow in her direction, obstinately waiting for her to respond to his instruction. Looking for the world, completely familiar with her when they were not supposed to have any other relationship beyond the stipulated boss-employee one. 

She cast a look towards a bellboy hovering at the side, who was steadfastly staring at the grainy patterns of a painting hanging on the opposite wall, trying to seem inconspicuous. Cowards. Was there no decent person she could rely upon within this miserable organization? 

“Sir—” she pried her hand back from his grasp, smoothing the front of her skirt with a palpable nervous unease. “May I ask where we’re going?” 

In answer, Shuji shot his brilliant golden gaze onto the poor minimum wage worker, who visibly shrunk away from the tenacity of his unbridled anger. “Tell whoever the fuck runs the day-to-day operations that I have business with Miss Harumi.”

The greasy-haired man was all too eager to remove the force of his almost mythical superior’s stare upon him and nodded enthusiastically. “Yes, sir.”

I am dead. Ichika had never hated the universe with such vitriol like she did in this instance.

This grotesque, emotionally exhausting game of Russian Roulette that she willingly participated in had brought the smoking gun closer and closer toward her direction after every agonizing round. Your accident. The gala. Shuji’s fallout with your father. Kanagawa. 

The smell of blood and rusty tang in the air was too hard to ignore with the gun getting closer towards her vulnerable forehead. 

Many fearsome men perceived Hanma Shuji to be an emotionless menace; hell bent on destroying the world from top to bottom if it meant he could savour the thrill of it as it fell into ashes around him. 

But, the real Hanma—the one that Ichika was intimately acquainted with—was more nuanced than they gave him credit for. Hanma Shuji would kill, maim and torment if it served the right person.

Where does his real allegiance lie? The woman who had warmed his bed for months even during his marriage—the one he told he would not live without in a drunken stupor after his marriage to you was announced—was not able to read his mind. 

Twisted as it was, Ichika wanted to goad Shuji. Push him to answer the real questions that seized her mind unfairly every single night.

Do you love me? 

Do you love her? 

Who do you love? 

Instead, she kept her peace and stood up. Following Shuji towards the elevator, not even a single gust of breath could be heard in the vicinity. Every eye was on them—wide gazes, parted mouths. It was like they were witnessing a god and mortal interact for the first time. And wouldn’t it be similar, Ichika thought humorlessly. Hanma was far more important compared to her, and for him to taint his presence with the likes of her outside of the bedroom—outside of her apartment—spoke intense volumes towards his headspace.

Like a lamb cajoled straight to the slaughterhouse, she obediently followed him down the well-worn pathway. Only when he led her to the hotel’s premium parking did she get antsy.

“Shu, where are we going?” 

His answer was pulling open the passenger door for her. Despite every nerve screaming in the young woman’s mind to not blindly follow him down a trail she was not familiar with, there was nothing she could do to defy him. Shuji would just take what he wanted—never caring for her concerns or hesitations.

Hanma slammed the door of his Spyder shut when he slid into the driver's seat, jaw taut and knuckles white on the steering wheel. “I need you to be truthful with me.”

The anger dancing in his tone was what made her stop short, every excuse and justification she wanted to spill out coming to a screeching halt. 

Shuji flickered his golden eyes to her, not giving her a moment to prepare herself for the blow his next question left on her heart. 

“Are you pregnant with another man’s child?” 

Ichika felt like someone reached right into the cavern of her bleeding heart and squeezed it in a death grip. “N-no,” she murmured, unable to keep steady eye contact with her. “It’s yours.” 

Never mind that her womb was empty of his seed. Never mind that she was spewing out lie after lie. What mattered was that she would still have him by the end of the day.

Shuji closed his eyes, momentarily leaving her stunned and uneasy from his countenance. 

“Baby. You’re scaring me. What’s going on?” 

Again, silence greeted her. The sportscar lurched out from its bay and she scrambled to put on her seatbelt before the unthinkable could happen. Her lover was not in the right state of mind, as evident when he pushed the speedometer to a 120mph on a relatively busy highway. Ichika conspicuously removed her phone, but Hanma’s hand on her thigh stilled her.

“Forget it,” his jaw ticked. “Don’t even think of calling someone right now. We’re heading to the hospital.”

What defines true fear? 

Was it staring into the mouth of the beast? Or having the nozzle of a gun that was sure to go off trailing right in front of your face? 

Many people would say they were intrinsically scared of heights or spiders which remained the natural order of the world—for humans to be terrified of the things that they could not control, as irrational as it was. 

Ichika thought she might’ve developed a fear for flashing lights over gold surfaces. It reminded her too much of the anger in Shuji’s eyes when he finally lifted his gaze from her and onto the road ahead.

“Shu—”

“Don’t speak until I get the doctor’s confirmation.” The shocking aureate gleam stunned her into a disquiet. “I want to know if you’re telling me the truth.” 

And so, she didn’t. Glueing her mouth shut from the despairing words she wanted to convey, Ichika remained as deadened as a statue beside him; going through the motions of entering antiseptic smelling halls, past friendly nurses and through hospital screens.

She couldn’t run. Nor, did she sense Shuji would let her.

He played the part of her concerned lover well. Intermittently, he would reach for her hand, squeezing it in a way that appeared heartfelt enough for the elderly doctor to treat them but only she could tell how much her knuckles were starting to hurt from his bruising grip. She was one of the best in the district, as far as Shuji could tell. Every expectant wife of an important man went to her. Soon, Y/N will, too, was what Shuji was probably thinking. 

God, even in a time like this, she could not shake off her hatred for you. 

Though the doctor’s smile faltered when she saw his name listed next to Ichika’s in the report, she resumed her professional countenance as if nothing was amiss.

“So, Mrs…”

“—Hanma.” Ichika interrupted and took a deep breath. “I’m Mrs. Hanma.”

She did not dare look at Shuji’s face less she chicken out and admit to this clueless third party her entire ploy for wrecking his marriage. The corner of the doctor’s lips twitched—and was it her bad hearing or did the older woman mutter the word ploygamy underneath her breath? 

Strange. 

Ichika remained rooted to the plush medical chair, unable to stop the trained OBGYN from spreading the cool gel across her belly. Or, to control whether Shuji was staring intently at the monitor screen, trying to pick up on the thread of lies she weaved around her unfortunate form. 

Suddenly, the fear of flashing gold surfaces played behind her closed lids. 

Time froze. The progressive echoing silence in the room could’ve shattered her ears.

“I… I’m sorry, Mrs. Hanma. But, the scans are coming back empty.” 

Ichika swore she heard Shuji’s patience and civility snap.

The older woman trailed her uncertain expression towards her livid “husband” who did not hide his fury at her insolence, gnashing his jaw and shaking his head. Pure rage seeped onto his delicate features, a promise of retribution the moment they were free from the presence of passerbys. 

Her fingers had lost their feeling, breath lodged in her throat. The lack of air struck her with dizzying speed.  

The old hag is gloating at me, poisonous fumes laced her thoughts. She is thrilled that my boyfriend wants to kill me. 

Whatever else could such a vile woman be thinking when instead of offering condolences, her fushia-tinted lips tightened into a line and she uttered: 

“I’m sorry to get yours and your husband’s hopes up…” At least the bitch had some sincerity to hesitate, though her next words left little to be relieved over. 

“But you’re not pregnant, Mrs. Hanma.”

“Watch out, mama,” Chifuyu scolded, grabbing onto your hand to steady you from side-stepping off the curb.

Your giggles rebounded back in bright peals, a silly smile on your face, and his strict facade fractured. “Hey, guzzler. Quit acting like you’re dancing on the moon.”

“I could be,” you retorted back, giving him a smile that unwittingly brought heat suffusing across his face. He coughed and darted his eyes away from your shimmering figure, preferring to stare at his dress shoes. 

Gruffly, he crossed his arms. “I just don’t want to explain to Shuji if you break something.”

“I won’t!” you enthused, crossing your heart like a schoolgirl making a promise for the first time, your smile deepening. “I swear.” 

The corners of his lips twitched and he ran a hand through his dark hair, stopping short of his undercut. Faraway, somewhere in your mind, you realized you were acting like a child in front of  a member of Toman and instantly sobered, not wanting him to judge you wrongly. But, Chifuyu did not utter a disparaging remark, understanding the apex of your happiness.

“Are you telling him?” 

You nodded emphatically. The shine of your features, the curve of your eyebrows rising put the bright sun and cloudless blue sky to shame. Glowing in your effervescent light, Chifuyu was the poor, stunned soul who bore witness to your bubbling nod. “Of course. My husband will be so happy.” 

A flicker of darkness rolled over those crystal eyes, though it disappeared when you availed to look closer. “Oh, yeah. Hanma-san has always wanted a child.” 

The bitter afternote in his tone went by unnoticed and you chuckled, reaching froward boldly and squeezing his shoulder. In your most serious tone, you departed your next words, the hint of warning underneath them hard to miss. “Matsuno Chifuyu. Do not tell him first, alright? This good news needs to come from me.” 

Wide-eyed, Chifuyu took a half-step back. “S-sure. Of course. I would never dream of it.”

Unaffected by the tremor of his disturbance, you dropped your hand, resuming your carefree disposition once again. The Toman founder drove you home after stopping by for ice-cream, the both of you speaking about mundane niceties while such simmering happiness you harbored in the OGBYN’s room buoyed you back into the penthouse as if you were floating on air. You discarded your heels in favour for comfortable house shoes, musing that in a few months time, you would not be able to carry yourself on those spine-thin shoes anymore.

Stomach rumbling, you reached for a chipped pot and Shuji’s secret stash of Mac & Cheese, drooling when the smell from the neon yellow artificial goop reached your nose. You ate as you danced around the penthouse, filling your tummy and soul with more happiness as you patiently waited for Shuji to come home. 

He should be here any second. 

His name rang in your mind, and the threads that bound you to his soul tugged with fierce yearning. As if summoned by you, your phone rang, and your husband’s name was a welcome respite. 

“Hello?” you answered after the first ring.

“Baby.” The grey from cumulonimbus clouds which stood a little far off to your persistent excitement parted, revealing the severity of how deeply you had missed Shuji. “You good?” 

“Shu!” you set the bowl of coagulated pasta and cheese down, gnawing on your bottom lip like a schoolgirl giddily speaking to her crush. “I miss you. When are you coming home?”

“Soon, doll, soon,” he chuckled. “I just have some unfinished business to wrap up then I’m going to bend you over the sofa and make you scream my name til’ you’re hoarse.”

Oh. You shifted from one foot to another, suddenly hot under the collar from your husband’s blatant filthy intentions. “Then, come home soon,” you flashed your eyes to the clock above the kitchen counter and in a voice barely above a whisper, you murmured, “I could really use a good scream.” 

Hanma paused, his silence stretched across the line. You pressed the phone harder to your ear, fighting off a grin. “Fuck. G’na have to stuff your pretty pussy soon, baby. Wait for me on the bed. Don’t even think of putting on a single stitch of clothing. I’m on my way home now.”

Your heart lurched, and you breathed out a yes, daddy knowing how easy it was to rile him up when that term left your loose lips. So intimately acquainted were you with Shuji’s reaction that you could predict the sharp gasp that reverberated across the call.

“You’re in so much trouble, princess.”

In a whisper of a teasing tone, you murmured, “I’m counting on it, my love.” 

His warm chuckle resounded that made you wish he were right here so you could plant endless kisses onto his sweet face. 

“I love you.” 

You softened at the inflection of tenderness in his voice. “I love you, too.” 

Ending the call, you perked up, and tentatively wrapped a hand around your belly, smiling wide. “I can’t wait for you to say ‘hello’ to your daddy, my little bean.”

The apples of your cheeks were starting to hurt, but you didn’t mind. Pain that was born from felicitous joy was preferable than trauma. You had never felt this free and happy before, and you danced around the penthouse, cleaning yourself up from the day and doing as Shuji said, waiting for him on the large, California King bed with just your perfume on, nervously counting down the minutes til he would be home.

At seven sharp, you heard the door downstairs opening. Heart in your throat, you arranged yourself atop the blankets, adjusting your diamond necklace and hair so it fell in more natural lines down your body which complimented your brazen, seductive position. Shuji’s heavy footsteps echoed up the stairs, every staccato beat bumping up your heart rate. It ceased right in front of your bedroom door. 

Biting on your lower lip to stop a smile from spreading, your efforts were futile when you heard his shaky breath. The door fell open, and Shuji’s familiar, dear face spread into a soft smile.

“Doll.” 

Like two jagged pieces reuniting once more, he fell into your arms, and you welcomed him into your embrace, inhaling his kisses with such desperation it would’ve been shameful if it was anybody else but your beloved husband who was here to witness it.

Shuji himself was barely composed. He nipped your lower lip, running his large hands up and down your bare back, his movements more tender than salacious as you wanted to believe. There was a gentleness that could not be denied when he breathed you in. The setting sun threw his amber eyes into a brilliant disarray, those sharp lines and bold smile touched with softness around the edges, filled with nothing but devotion when he spread your legs wider and settled in between them.

You did not get to mutter a single word, not when Shuji was stealing your every breath and half-formed sentence, determined to have his fill of you. The sound of metal clinking and falling to the floor, the rush of his clothes melting off his lean and toned body until summer warm skin was pressed to yours; his defined lines complimenting your soft curves. 

“I missed you,” he murmured against your lips. The sky outside could break into pieces and seas could take Tokyo under its rifts, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. Not when his lips would not leave yours, his palms cradling your face like you were something delicate—something to be cherished.

You forced your lips to move, needing to convey the same level of desperation to show your equal devotion. “I missed you, too. I missed you so much, Shuji.”

The world tilted for a split second before you were upright once more, straddling his thighs. Strands of fluffy black-blonde hair fell in his face like dreamy waves, and you were entranced by the striking angularity and tenderness that co-mingled in such harmony on a face you loved with every fiber of your being. Your husband, your sweetheart. Your Shuji.

Would your baby have his eyes? Would they have his mischievous smirk—the same one on his face when you obediently lifted your hips and sank on his cock? They would have his smile, you were sure. You brought his hand up to rest on your belly, ‘sin’ starkly standing out on the soft planes of your curves, right where his baby was growing deep in you. 

 “Can feel you here,” your strained whisper had a double meaning. “You’re so deep in me.”

Shuji exhaled a laugh. “Yeah? I can go deeper—” a sharp thrust of his hips that caught your golden spot, making you gasp and toss your head back. Using your distractedness as a leverage, your husband started snapping his hips, taking pure glee in how your mouth fell open in an ‘O’ and there were already tears glossing in your eyes. You could do nothing but hold on as your husband set a brutal pace that had you clasping onto his shoulders for dear life.

He easily manoeuvred you into the seat of his lap, bouncing you up and down his thick cock and coaxing more of those sweet moans to spill from your slack mouth. Those large palms steadied your back from tilting behind, and your tangled fingers in his hair drew his amusement, especially when you tugged at the roots, face screwing up in pleasure.

“I’m g’na go bald because of you, baby,” he muttered, playfully biting your chin. “Tugging on my hair with that grip of yours.” 

Despite the deepened twining of your bodies, you exhaled a giggle, and Shuji’s gaze faltered. How could a heart like yours ever love one so corroded and evil like his? 

As if you sucked in the rays of the setting sun, your skin and hair shone, and Shuji thought there was little that could detract him from seeing you as nothing short of a goddess. 

His lips tangled with yours, the same moment your hips buckled and you released a short squeak—a telltale sign you were on the edge. I need to feel her cum. Shuji slotted a hand between your bodies, letting you grind your aching clit on his fingers as your movements stuttered and faltered.

“S-Shu—oh!” 

You bit down on his shoulder, riding out your orgasm, muffled moans of his name reaching his heated ears. God, he had been so blind. How did it take an impending tragedy to open his eyes to how much he needed you?

If he imagined a life without you—your sweet smile, your crinkled eyes, the innocent and open way you loved without conditions—Shuji thought he could cry. 

“I love you.” How paltry. Those three words could barely encompass his whole feelings, but it was worth a shot. “I love you. You know that right, Y/N?” 

You nodded in your fucked-out haze, pinning your swimming eyes on him. He picked up your hand, pressing a kiss to your wedding ring, the same one that was a twin design on his own finger. A silver band, simple and sturdy in both its strength of joining the two of you together for years to come. 

A life to be truly free with you.

Shuji kissed your hard as he came, his hips stuttering and drawing out another smaller release from you; both your bodies falling onto the bed while you perched two hands on his chest, riding out your second orgasm to fulfilment before your strength disappeared. You fell into his waiting embrace. Short, labored breaths were loud in the room; strong arms vining around your fragile frame, holding you close to his heart.

It was the perfect time. 

“Shu?” your soft voice knocked him back to reality and he hummed, kissing your sweaty forehead.

“Yeah, doll?” 

You nuzzled the warm, golden skin just right above the tattoo dedicated to his mother, sighing in contentment. “Y’know when you told me to call you daddy? Mhm… s’turns out you’re right. You’re gonna be a real daddy soon.” 

Shuji froze for a split second, and he lifted your sleepy face up, searching your expression for a shred of a lie. “Doll? Are you serious?” 

There was not a single line of duplicity in your sweet, glowing countenance. The truth screamed loudly from every loving pore of your body. “Yes.” Taking his hand once more and pressing it to your belly, you sighed in contentment. “The OBGYN at St. Luke’s confirmed it. We’re gonna be parents.”

A choked sound that was a cross between a laugh and a sob. Shuji wrapped his arms around you, and drew you impossibly close to heart, your entire body flush with his. “I love you,” he whispered, kissing your hair and your forehead. “I love you. I am so happy.”

You dared not shatter the peace, wide-eyed at his exuberant reaction. “Y-you are?” 

“I am,” he hummed, massaging your hip to show you how earnest he was. “I am so happy. I want to do this with you, doll.” 

A weight you had not noticed on your shoulders lifted. You could breathe easier. “I thought you would be angry.”

“Angry? Never. I would never be angry at you, doll.”

“Oh,” you deflated and shot him a brilliant smile. “I must admit, I didn’t know I was pregnant. It’s not like I was having the normal symptoms.” 

He eased out from your embrace shortly to scoot down and kiss your belly. “Hey, you little nuisance. How come you’re so quiet, hmm? Your mommy barely felt anything.”

You laughed at his mock teasing tone, threading your fingers through his fluffy hair. He’s already playing the part of a goofy daddy. “I did feel a little nauseous during Kanagawa, but I thought it was because of the sea air.” 

Shuji hummed, kissing your soft curves once more, making you giggle. “Any cravings, my love?” 

Thinking hard, you purse your lips. “I guess… Mac ‘n’ Cheese.”

If a laugh could embody such warmth, it would be Shuji’s short burst of a giggle. “Shit, I should’ve known. I’ll take you to Italy one day for a family trip so you can have the best Western food there, baby. It’ll just be us and our lil’ troublemaker.” His voice caught and you were quick enough to catch him wiping a tear away. “Fuck. I can’t believe that we’re doing this. I can’t believe we’re parents now.” 

Something about the split faltering of his emotions made you hold his face, nudging him up so you could look him in his red-rimmed eyes. The pads of your thumb smoothed his cheekbones, and you were staring at him with such tenderness and love, that Shuji swore he was a hair’s breadth away from telling you the entire truth. 

But, his tongue caught and his wide eyes studied how you traced the curve of his lip, your own eyes hazy and lovestruck. “You’re the only man I trust, you know that, Shuji?” Your words, innocent and soft spoken, cut him like a knife. “I’m so blessed to have you as my husband.” 

You met his gaze, flooring him with how open and honest your expression was. 

“From now on, it’ll just be me, you and our little bean.”

Shuji’s heart churned with guilt like the black waves of an uneasy sea about to encounter a huge thunderstorm. The curve of your brow, the lift of your smile, it made him question every single action he had committed, the horror he put you through and how you could forgive him so easily. 

Ichika… he had to end it with her. At first, he had his hands tied in making a choice, but now, it could not be any clearer.

Shuji wanted you. He wanted a family with you.

He had made his decision.

“Yes,” he murmured, wishing with all his heart that he could rewrite his past and give himself a chance to fall in love with you the right way. Without causing you pain, hurt or despair. 

He wanted nothing more than to start anew, past these treacherous mountains that constantly loomed in his mind’s eye to the sufferings he piled on you. I’m so fucking sorry, Y/N. Let me fix this… once and for all. 

“Yes,” Shuji’s voice almost broke off at the end. “It’s just going to be us and our little baby from now on.”

Ever since you had made the announcement to your husband and showed him the soft copy of your ultrasound scan, his whole demeanor shifted implicitly. 

He was clingier. More caring.

It was a stark change to how he had first treated you after your accident. 

Little by little, you noticed it in his gestures; the boxes of Mac ‘n’ Cheese placed on a lower shelf so you didn’t have to climb up the kitchen counter to get it, more vegetables in the chiller, and nausea pills popping up beside the porcelain bathtub, on your side table and even in your purse as the symptoms progressed. As if your little bean was waiting for the world to acknowledge him or her before making a huge splash, the signs of pregnancy started getting worse.

You couldn’t even lie in bed for more than five minutes without bolting to the toilet, heaving down last night’s dinner. Through it all, Shuji was there for you, holding your hair back, and whispering words of encouragement. 

“So beautiful,” he would murmur while holding your exhausted body close to his, never mind that you had puked your entire breakfast up again just an hour ago. “You’re so beautiful and strong, my darling.”

Where once you would not even see your husband for hours on end, he was home more often. If he had work to do, he would send one of his trusted men to watch over you while he handled Toman’s affairs for Kisaki, always with the promise that he would come home safe and sound.

One day, you reached for his hand before the door could close, a tremor in your lower lip. Another mood swing. Shuji was cognizant of your shifting emotions like a pendulum, and rather than making fun of you like you believed he would, your husband would calm you down with a soft touch, a reassuring word. “I’ll come home at seven today and make you some sukiyaki. The one without mirin. Okay?” 

He kissed the top of your head and you sniffled, tears rushing down your face. “I-I know. But, I-I can’t help and worry, Shu. It’s so dangerous out there.”

His arms tightened around you. Just a few days ago, you received news that one of your father’s warehouses was raided by the police and they brought in a few of the Blood Phoenixes underlings. Luckily, those poor men were not top brass, and they were imprisoned for two years with the reality that once they were released, they had to resume their duties to your father again. 

“I’ll make today quick, doll. Okay? Tonight, I wanna cuddle you to death.” If any outsider were to see the Hanma Shuji pucker his lips and make a kissy face at you until you laughed, they would consider if their morning coffee was spiked with a hallucinogen. But, Shuji did just that and you pushed his face away, giggling softly. 

“Okay. Okay. Come home soon, yeah?” 

He nodded, and got onto one knee, levelling his face with your belly. “Daddy has to go to work now, but you take care of mommy, okay? I love you both so, so, so much!” he giggled, leaving loud, theatrical kisses on your relatively flat belly that tickled. “Mwah, mwah, mwah.” Shuji rose to his feet and leaned down to peck your parted lips for one last time. “And for mommy—mwah. I love you.” 

Your cheeks were warm and you batted his shoulder, biting down on a brilliant grin. “Go, you menace. Kisaki will scold you if you show up late.”

He gave you one last smile and you closed the door behind him with a wave. 

Menace. You patted your belly, loving how soft it felt underneath your palm, as if your body was preparing to make itself the most comfortable stay for your little bean. You sighed happily and proceeded to rest on the couch. Ever since you had told Shuji about your pregnancy, he was adamant on not having you up on your feet for too long. 

Meal times were relegated to the chefs preparing fresh food for you, healthy breakfasts became the norm though you were allowed to indulge in Mac ‘n’ Cheese once in awhile to satiate your cravings. “Your daddy is an evil man,” you fondly muttered to your belly. “He won’t even let me eat a whole pack of chocolate chip cookies. Says I can only have five—max. Do you agree that he’s so wicked, Shusei?”

You had no idea when you started giving your baby that name, but it made sense. It held a piece of Shuji in it and the whole meaning of ‘Shusei’ was “soul-bond”. This baby was the bridge between you and Shuji—a child once made from convenience and now fostered with love. A perfect choice. 

The doorbell rang, and you stood back up to get it, thinking it was one of the chefs. But, when it swung open, you were momentarily stunned to find Chifuyu on the other end.

“Hey, Guzzler. Looking glowy.” 

“Fuyu,” your shock melted into friendly delight. “Hey. What’re you doing here?” 

“Shuji-san sent me to watch over you today. Iroto is overseeing a warehouse delivery.” 

You welcomed your friend in, and he swiveled around to take in your space. “Nice crib. Shuji designed it?” Your mouth opened to answer, but you found you could not remember. Whose house was this, anyway? You had no idea if the modernist greys and sleek whites were from your designing touches or Shuji’s and you clamped up, unsure of what to say.

Chifuyu noticed your silence, and he nudged you gently. “Hey, you good? You zoned out there for a bit.”

“I… I don’t remember,” you murmured, suddenly embarrassed. “Most of my memories are still not back.”

Hearing that, the dark-haired Toman member frowned. “But, it’s been months. Surely you can remember some things?”

You rummaged in the fault of your memories and came back empty, besides a few impressions and still images that did not make sense in the whole picture. “I can remember my home. My father’s house, I mean. The coordinates. Um, some bits about the lessons I had before I married. Mostly my tou-san and snippets of some men who were always at our house. I… I’m still drawing a blank on Shuji, though.”

Something perturbed the other man. You could tell. His jaw ticked and he darted his gaze away. “Maybe it’s best if you don’t remember.” 

That got your attention. You wanted to ask him what he meant when Chifuyu’s phone beeped, and he fished it from his pocket, frowning at the screen. “Hey. Sorry about this. I know I just arrived, but there’s an emergency down in Odaiba. Something about a potential police raid.” Your face blanched. Shuji.

Gathering your composure, you nodded. “Of course. You go ahead. I’ll lock up and tell Shuji what happened.”

Chifuyu grimaced, raking his eyes up and down your form. “It may take a few days for us to settle this. You sure you’ll be okay? Shuji may not be home for close to a week.”

Your heart fell right into your stomach, but you were trained to never show emotions so readily on your face. Instead, you hid your concern and disappointment at not seeing your husband for a considerable time behind a neutral smile. “I’ll be fine, Chifuyu. It’s only a few short days. Tell Shuji I’ll be okay and that I can handle myself.”

His crystal eyes flashed, and you could hear the cogs in his head turning. “In any case, the only ones to know of your pregnancy is me, Shuji and your father’s closest men. No one knows just yet—not even Kisaki. Stay safe, okay?”

You nodded. “Okay.” 

Chifuyu left, taking with you the last shred of your composure which disintegrated the moment the door closed. The tears you held back—the concern you had for your husband—drip down your cheeks. 

Never would you have anticipated to feel such worry over your husband. It was not just the fact that he could be hurt, but you had another factor to add into the mix now. Your baby. I couldn't live with myself if Shuji got hurt and Shusei did not have a father. You ardently wished history would not repeat itself. All you wanted was to make sure your beloved baby got the love he or she deserved from two present, well-adjusted parents. 

Something you never did have. Something Shuji did not have. 

Everything you hoped your sweet child would have so readily, without needing to fight for it. 

Shuji… please, be safe. You started to sob quietly. Come back home to me and Shusei soon. 

“It’s over.”

For the second time in a few weeks, Shuji was trying to break it off with Ichika. The other woman was not crying or sobbing as she did the last time she found herself in the same predicament. 

Her brown eyes were crystal clear and her countenance free of clouds, Ichika looked more… refreshed. As if she did not lie to the second most notorious man in Japan. As if she did not try to deceive him and ruin his marriage with his beloved wife. Shuji mimicked her cool facade and lifted a brow. “Well, that was easy. You can keep everything I’ve gifted you… or not. Whatever you want to do. But, it’s over, Ichika. Y/N is the one I want.”

The tiniest of fissures cracked across on her porcelain perfect face. “Even the diamond necklace?” 

Honestly, Shuji could not give a damn about whatever bits and bobs he had bought for her in the heat of the moment. All he wanted was to wrap this up and return to your side to care for you and the baby. In answer to her ludicrous question, he shrugged. “Sure. Up to you.” 

When Ichika did not reply, Shuji paused. Taking in her countenance. Harumi Ichika was a beautiful woman; there would be little doubt that another man would take a fancy to her and fill in his shoes. If she played her cards right, she may even end up with someone with deeper pockets. It was the least he could wish for his ex-girlfriend in hopes to assuage his guilt for destroying her. 

“Well… I guess this is it. Have a good life, Ichika.”

He made to turn, but her soft voice stopped him. “At least tell me why you’re leaving me so cruelly.” Her voice tremored and he mentalluy cringed. Please, don’t make her throw a fit right here. 

Shuji didn’t bother turning around to face her. Partly to keep his expression hidden and another part because a liar such as herself didn’t deserve it. “My wife is pregnant. We’re about to be a family and I want to take care of her. Please, don’t contact me anymore. It’s truly over between us.”

Ichika curled her hand over the doorway to her little apartment, letting her face fall. So, the rumours were true. Apathy and bitter injustice curdled in her veins. Why did you deserve to live the life she wanted? Why was it you that had a the privilege to call him yours? 

Pregnant. Ichika could’ve puked. If that were the case, she wished you every ounce of good luck. You would need it. Shuji truly was such a cruel man. And the young woman had seen many a brutal bastard in her lifetime. Let that bitch handle him, she spat with vitriol inwardly. Let her see for herself how inhumane he can be. 

Outwardly, she did not argue with him. “Of course. Have a good life, Shuji.”

If it wasn’t for the minute tremble in her voice, Toman’s second would have thought she was planning bloody murder. A show of emotion was always good—it meant that a person was coming to terms with their pain and would not retaliate. Shuji needed complete subservience to ensure she would never harm you. 

“I’m sorry,” he murmured, back still turned. “I wish you the same. Goodbye, Ichika.” 

She did not answer. And he did not push for a response. Walking away from his once safe space to start a new life with the only person who mattered. 

The door closed behind him, locking with finality. 

“What do you want to name our baby?” 

Shuji’s voice over the phone, laced with nicotine and a little bit of the whiskey he drank to keep himself awake in Toman’s headquarters could never quite get him heady compared to your sweet giggle.

“Don’t you have to leave soon?” you scolded lightly over the phone. Amber eyes glanced at his watch. Five more minutes. Never enough time to hear about you and your day.

“Yeah,” he murmured, “But, I still want to hear your pretty voice. So, keep talking, darlin’.”

He could sense you rolling your eyes from the other end of the line, and he grinned, uncaring that anyone passing by would see the great Reaper of souls smiling like a love-sick idiot. His wife has the key to his calmness, they would whisper. Let them. They were right. 

“Hmm,” you paused, and it was easy to imagine your sweet face scrunching up in thought. “Shusei. I love that name.”

If Shuji’s heart was out of his body for the world to see, it would be jumping in the air and spinning a cartwheel. Taming the emotion in his voice was hard to do, but he managed to put a lid on his overflowing gratitude that you were the one he was doing this with, exhaling a short laugh. “Shusei, huh? After me, doll?” 

“Yeah,” your shy admittance stole his breath. “A little baby boy with your eyes. Shusei. I think that’s fitting. It means—”

“—Soul bond,” he finished for you, a lump in his throat. “I know, doll.”

He had never known a silence to be so tender. Where he came from, every stretch of quiet was a waiting game for a night full of terrors and screams. Broken noses, scarred skin. Moans thumping around the small bedroom and his mother’s glossy-eyed stare the morning after, more cheap concealer patching the bruises around her eyes and the bite marks on her throat. 

“Come back home soon,” your small voice ignited such a strong desire to see you that he almost spun on his heel to return back to your side. “We both miss you, Daddy.”

“I miss you both, too,” he mumbled, staring at his watch. His five minutes was up. “I’ll see you in a few days time, yeah? G’na be thinking of you and baby Shusei.” 

“Okay,” a rustle and the sound of your lips pressing to the receiver. “Mwah. I love you, Shuji.”

He resisted the urge to giggle like a fool. “I love you, too.”

“Say mwah,” he could practically hear your pout from where he was. “Say it or else I won’t sleep well tonight, Shu.” 

What a menace his wife was. Truly, she was the epitome of a true Mrs. Hanma. “Fine. Mwah. I love you, baby. Give Shusei a kiss for me.”

You ended the call with another loud smooch and he chuckled, not noticing Kisaki standing by the doorway, a knowing smile on his face. Shuji bristled and narrowed his eyes in irritation, already knowing what Tetta would say. 

“The wife all happy and loved up?” 

“Shut up,” Shuji mumbled, tossing his phone onto his desk and loosening his tie. “I know you’re here to gloat.”

Kisaki shook his head, that stupid knowing smirk still on his ugly mug. “Just here to say I told you so. Y/N is a good choice for you, Shuji. She balances you out.” For the first time, Hanma hated that his friend and leader was right. 

“Yeah, yeah. Yin and yang and all that bullshit. You’re such a smug son of a bitch, Tetta.”

“Am I wrong, though?” his blue eyes sparkled in amusement. “You do not know how lucky you are to have Y/N as a wife. I’ve heard many gang princesses are not as nice or as patient as she is.”

Shuji’s stomach turned. News in their world of prissy wives demanding for retribution on their husbands from their powerful yakuza families was few and far between, but they existed. Part of it was the reason why he kept away from you was due to your father’s status. The idea made him shudder and thank every deity that you were not of the revenge type. 

“She’s a good woman,” Kisaki hummed, interrupting Shuji’s thoughts. “Don’t fuck it up with her, Shuji.” 

The tall, golden eyed man rolled his eyes. “Hard not to when I’ve knocked her up already, Tetta.” He could tell Kisaki was not anticipating such news. Cold, diamond eyes widened, hardened and softened at the same time.

“Good. That is good news. Now, shall we get the meeting going so we can return home sooner?” To our families. Tetta didn’t have to speak that last part for Shuji to hear it.  

He cracked his neck, plastering on his signature, wide and unnerving grin—the foreboding Reaper, ready to start killing with efficiency. “Let’s do it.”

Anything he could do to get home to you and his baby quick enough. 

With your hair washed, your body completely squeaky clean and dinner cooling on the stove, the only thing missing to complete your night was a glass of red wine. 

But, alas, you could not do that because of one, very important person. 

Your lips stretched into a fond grin and you danced a little in one spot, overwhelmed with happiness. Patting your stomach, you cooed at your baby. “Shusei? How’re you feeling? You’re so awfully quiet in there, y’know. You didn’t even make mommy go to the toilet once today.” 

The moment those words left your lips, you felt a little shiver running down your spine. 

Is my baby okay? You spread your palm over the soft of your belly, closing your eyes and trying to feel your darling angel. There was a minute movement, and your breath hitched. Though it was far too early to tell if the baby was all clear, it was in that slight twitch that you held faith. Shusei will be fine. 

Mindlessly, you hummed a tune, one that was unfamiliar, and you wracked your memories for the name of the song. Slightly frustrated, you tried keying snatches of lyrics, and the only thing that came to mind was you’re all I’ve ever known…

A-ha! You found the song, and clicked on it in Spotify. 

A rich tenor filled your penthouse, and your eyes filled up with tears. Of course. This was your wedding song. The one that played for your first dance with Shuji. But… why did it leave you with such profound sadness? It did not make any sense and you let the lyrics fall around you, trying to wrack your brains for an inkling of what could’ve made you so down. 

Like quick flashes, you saw his gold eyes. Though, they were not rich amber, but a flat gold. Emotionless. Unattainable. 

You gasped, nearly dropping your mug of hot chocolate. 

What the… 

Before, you could detangle the treacherous thoughts in your mind, your phone beeped. Frowning, you set down your mug, letting your first wedding song play in the background on loop, before clicking on the blank number. 

The first message itself was enough to make your heart squeeze in dread.

Do you think you’re the only one Hanma Shuji loves? Think again. 

Your breath hitched when the unfamiliar number sent three separate attachments. The WiFi was slow, dragging out your impending dread, and you cursed the racing thoughts which colored you in shades of complete doubt. 

What did they mean by Shuji wasn’t faithful to you? 

The notion was absurd. 

You had seen the way how your husband looked at you, how he treated you like you were made of glass. The way he held you like you were something precious to be protected.

If Shuji was unfaithful, you would know. Never did you catch him with a wandering eye or the telltale signs of perfume and traces of lipstick on his clothes. He always came back on time, did whatever you requested of him and most importantly, he made you feel like the only woman on this planet. 

There could’ve been no way—

The first video loaded, and you were struck into a stunned disquiet by what unfolded before you. 

In the frame, unmistakable with the tattoo of ‘Sin’ running down an unknown woman’s belly, your husband was passionately fucking into another woman’s pussy, using her to get off. The silence of your marital home exacerbated the sickening squelches of their sexes meeting, and his deep groans you thought were reserved solely for you were now muttering a name.

Moaning a name that was not yours. 

You thought you could’ve hurled. 

Scrambling, you ended the video, wanting to remove the sound of your husband’s moans over the song you both first danced to. You disconnected the Bluetooth speakers from your phone, a heavy silence blanketing your tremoring body. 

This is wrong. This is heinous. 

Pausing the video, you took another deep breath and swiped to the next one. 

Mercifully, this one did not have Shuji fucking another woman, but it was a silent recording from underneath a meeting table. You could barely make out the curve of his defined thigh, the rumble of his voice in the background clearly spewing out the next words that hit your soul with astronomical waves of pain.

Wetness slipped down your cheeks, and you were close to hyperventilating when the meaning of this clandestine video became clear. 

“I will kill her if she so much as ever disrespects me.”

A consternated grunt. “Sir, this is your wife—”

“She means nothing to me.” It got worst the longer you listened in. “Once Tomio gets what he wants, I’ll divorce her. A fucking grandson for my freedom. It’s over, then.” 

You paused the video, the hot tears splashing down your thick bathrobe, drowning out the pounding blood rushing in your ears. With trembling hands, you clicked on the next attachment which happened to be a voice recording.

“... I love you,” your husband’s husky voice echoed around the lonesome penthouse. “Ichika, you are my world. I love you.” 

The phone slipped from your hand, clattering onto the floor, unnoticed from the deluge of tears that wouldn’t stop racing down your cheeks. 

This cannot be happening. This is wrong.

A cracking that fissured deep in your mind.

And then—the memories poured out like an overflowing urn.

His words, his actions, the pain he bruised on your soul. The empty penthouse, the bags you packed for your honeymoon only to be informed he was on another trip by impassive-faced underlings. With her. With Ichika. 

God. You heaved, spewing out strings of spit onto the carpet. It was her all along… how could I have been so blind? 

The same diamond necklace. The anger in her eyes. Your missing bento. 

You had been conversing with your husband’s mistress in the pretense of civility when you should’ve caused an uproar this whole time. 

Shuji… you let her humiliate me. In public. In front of your entire organization. 

Pain unlike any other you had ever experienced in your life overflowed past your lacerated soul, spilling out as broken wails which drowned out the last of your common sense to keep it together for your baby. How many secrets have you kept from me, Shuji? 

In the background, the singer’s dulcet voice crooned on and on from your phone’s speakers about his affections for his woman, assuring her that she would be his only love forever. 

Liar. Even the song you first danced to at your wedding was rubbing the awful truth into your face.  

Palms pressed to your stomach, you shook your head from side to side, as if to dislodge the reality that Shuji had unwittingly destroyed this marriage. The walls started to shake, and your teeth chattering was the first indication that you were spiraling into a panic attack. 

It felt like an earthquake was rocking you apart, tearing you limb by limb to leave nothing in its wake. One second, you were leaning against the counter, and the next, your body toppled to the floor, nails digging into the carpet as loud, uneven wails erupted from your mouth, your entire heart tearing cleanly into two. Snot and saliva trickled down your face, one hand clawed in your hair to tug at the roots, taking out your unending pain physically onto your writhing body. 

As if the agony was a livewire, it ran through you with jolts that left you heaving, blubbering uncontrollably in a lump on the hard ground. 

Shuji… Shuji, how could you do this to me? 

What sins did you commit to deserve such treatment from your husband? What heinous crimes did he suffer from your hands that he had to resort to such cruelty that immobolized your heart to a perpetually burning stake? 

You were dry heaving on the ground, the furthest thing from the composed, unfeeling Blood Phoenix princess the world knew you as. They never saw the scars, the hatred directed towards you for your only sin of existing in a world where you were not wanted but still exploited for these men’s gains. 

It started with your father, who disdained you from the day you entered this world because it was from your existence that your beloved mother met her demise. Years of being looked down upon, chased out of family rooms and your father’s embrace when it was all you wanted—all you needed to feel a shred of belonging. It haunted you with the realization that you were so undeserving, not even the man who brought you into existence could love you. 

How could you expect another man to adore you when the first man who was supposed to love and protect you could not even do that because of the skin you were born in? To be a  woman was a sin when the matters of dark politics were brought into play. The one variable you had no control over was the one they punished you the most because of it. 

You were nothing but a pawn on their chessboard. An unwilling player in their bloodthirsty games. 

But, what truly hurt wasn’t your father’s cruelty or even this world that failed a fragile woman just looking for love and belonging. 

It was the fact that you thought you had finally gotten it in the form of Shuji’s love. 

That your years of exhaustion on the road trying to bend every single bone in your body to find a home to belong to was not the respite you desperately wished it was. 

Where you once thought his love would be a plush mattress that would finally keep you safe from the horrors of this world had distorted into a bed of thorns that left you gaping and wrecked; blood spewing out from every bruise he left on your soul. 

From his mistreatment, to his emotional abuse and down to his infidelity, you had to wonder—was any of it real? 

Were any of his gestures like taking you out to Kanagawa, the sweet nothings he whispered after making love to you, or even the tender manner he held your body close as you fell asleep in his arms done with an honest heart? 

Or was it because he had a deal to fulfill? 

Once Tomio gets what he wants, I’ll divorce her.

No, your eyes rippled shut, more tears slipping down your swollen cheeks as you gurgled out a soft sob. None of it was real. 

Shuji had thoroughly milked you as the biggest leverage to his game, and like a fool, you succumbed to the pitfalls of his charm.

And look at where it brought you. You rubbed your belly, those ground-fisurring sobs petering into hiccups. After all that was said and done, it was you who suffered the most from these lies. You were pregnant and heartbroken, completely lost as to what to do next, your entire soul screaming for you to run away from this disastrous life and never look back. 

The ache in your chest could’ve almost drowned you from the neverending waves of pain and your eyes smarted, another flood of tears threatening to submerge you in your vortex of grief. By some miracle, you managed to sit up, rocking on your heels. 

Gripping your phone to your chest, you mechanically went through the short chat with the unknown number, blocking it and proceeding to your messages with Shuji. 

It was like you wanted to hurt yourself even more to hammer in the truth that you meant nothing to him.  

Those unanswered texts from what felt like another life where you played the unwilling part of a nagging wife tore through you like steel talons, reminding you of your foolishness. 

Shuji, are you coming home for dinner? 

I’m waiting in bed for you, husband.

Shuji, where are you? I’m worried.

Shuji, please come home. 

The truth was staring at you right in the face. 

Hanma Shuji was a man incapable of love. He had brought you into the wringer, took you for a ride against your own will and left you devastated at the very end; the catalyst to your undoing. 

And for weeks, you suspected nothing.

Idiot. No wonder your father couldn’t trust the Blood Phoenixes to you. If a woman could be so blind to her husband’s infidelity for so long, she wouldn’t suspect a double-crosser even if they handed her a glass of spiked sake. 

Useless. There must’ve been a reason why Shuji did not love you. Perhaps, it was because you were never strong. You’ve only met her a handful of times, but you could tell that the other woman—Ichika (you almost threw up at her name)—was far more resilient and resourceful than you ever were. The right lover for the second most dangerous man in Toman.

Nothing you did ever mattered. You were nothing.

Slowly, you picked yourself off the floor, shoulders slumped and phone dangling limply from your fingers. It was mechanical—first, you shuffled into your wardrobe, picking out your tote bag.

Where will I go?

Packing the essentials, you stuffed it full with your most precious items. 

The first dress you bought with your own money from secret counseling sessions at a child centre. The Tiffany bracelet that once belonged to your mother. A pair of earrings that also used to adorn your mother’s lobes. Your eyes landed on the diamond necklace Shuji gifted to you and a sludge of irrational anger welled up in your chest. It spilled out like a putrid cry, and you wrenched it off its stand, tearing the clasp, the glittering stones falling to the ground like diamond raindrops.

You picked up the largest one, the rational part of your tormented mind reminding you that you could fetch a good price at a pawn shop for the pendant. The same one shining off Ichika’s neck.

Fool. You slammed a hand to your forehead, as if to knock more common sense into your head. You stupid, stupid girl. 

Tears welling in your eyes, the hurt clawed through your chest like a hot, iron fist. 

Before you could make a run in the dead of the night, like you did the very first time, your phone rang. 

You were barely cognizant when you answered the call, your frozen lips murmuring a soft, “Hello?”

“L/N Y/N?” 

The unfamiliar voice struck a chord of terror into your already frazzled soul. “Yeah. Who is this?” 

“This is Iroto, Kisaki’s bodyguard. I’m so sorry, ma’am.”

You tightened your grip on the phone. Shuji. Despite everything that was forcefully unearthed like a rotting, bloated corpse that permeated the room with pungent lies your cheating husband told you, a part of you wished no harm would befall him. 

Please… don’t let anything bad happen to him.

“W-what happened?” 

“It’s your father,” a pause. “L/N Tomio has suffered a stroke and you are requested to attend to his side immediately.” 

a/n: reblogs and feedback are much appreciated!!

tagging [closed]: @soushswag @euryale16 @grindouse @legitnoi @sickhiqs @hanmas @gojojang @queenbunnny999

© all works belong to lalalunanymph. do not copy, repost or claim as your own.

---

━━━ ❝where you belong…❞ [ I ] 18+

↳ ; ༄ eren j. x f!reader ━━━ mini series I. II. status — ongoing

synopsis ; when you catch eren cheating, he doesn’t chase after you. doesn’t try and find you. he simply lets you go because he knows that you’ll always come back to where you belong. back to him.

tw ; ༄ manipulation, gaslighting, infidelity, toxic relationship

w.c ; ༄ 12k

↳ note from syn ; ༄ it’s funny because i wasn’t actually going to post this in fear that it’s as bad as i think it is but tbh, comments are just opinions. words shouldn’t hold power over anyone and i worked hard on this so i said “fuck it” bc i (and everyone else) take time out to write what we write for FREE so it is what it is. also, this was supposed to be a oneshot but it’s getting a bit long so i’m splitting it up! this is a mini series which means there’s going to be a second part, which will be the final part to this; it’ll be out very, very soon so be on the lookout! ୧

↳ p.s. ; ༄ give a massive thank you to @arcanedevil for giving this a good look over (otherwise it’d be total crap ngl) heheh, luv you dearlyy — & as always, rbs/likes are very appreciated, tyy ᰔ

Eren Jaeger was the perfect boyfriend.

He worked for his father in preparation to take over his company someday soon, and stayed quite busy with that. Despite his minimal time towards everything else, he still managed to give you the right amount of time and attention that you needed from him as your boyfriend. 

Eren was sweet, thoughtful even. Call it cheesy but he liked bringing you flowers sometimes before coming home from work. Instead of you packing his lunch for the day, he was always the one that made sure you had something ready to go because he remembered you did errands all day for him and took care of the house so anything to help take the load off — he was on it. 

Was there laundry that needed to be done? Already gone through the washer and dryer, and even folded up neatly in the laundry room for you to put away. Dishes perhaps? Cleaned and put back in the cabinets. Eren believed in cleaning up as he went and he never slipped up on that. 

So not only did he take care of the house, but he also took care of you.

He didn’t have much time on his hands but he made sure there was just enough to spend with you when he wasn’t swamped at work. You didn’t understand his job thoroughly, but you knew how hard he worked and never slacked on contributing to the house and to the relationship. 

Eren was such a good man to you that both his and your parents have been nagging the two of you to just tie the knot already. You’d been dating for exactly three years, even progressing to live together now. Your parents were more demanding on the idea of getting married soon and giving them grandchildren because they still held onto the old stigma that once you’ve moved in with one another, marriage had to be next. 

You weren’t against marriage. No. It just wasn’t as important as they made it out to be. Your mom constantly told you, during your daily lunches with her, that your generation had a high divorce rate and you indulged her by saying that it was probably because young people tended to get married too quickly. You’d made a good point and she left the topic alone for a while. You knew it was going to come back up in a few weeks but whatever it took to get her to understand that neither you nor Eren were thinking about marriage right now.

At the start of your talking stage with him, it was hard to get a proper date out of him. On your third day of getting to know him, he wanted to come over your place to have sex. 

Third day. 

Naturally, you declined by saying that you barely knew the guy. He was persistent, that was for sure. Constantly texting, calling, stopping by your job at the time to buy his usual while lingering around, keeping you company, he’d say. Eren was like a fly you just couldn’t get rid of and eventually — he’d grown on you. You found out that you liked being chased and that he liked chasing after you and your precious time. When a month went by, you finally invited him over for dinner one night. 

Interestingly enough, he hadn’t pushed you for sex. With his foot finally in your door, he was sweet and only wanted to spend time with you. That was what nudged you to makeout with him on the couch after dinner and a long conversation. Before things could’ve gone any further, he pulled you back to ask if sex was what you wanted and if you were sure. It only made you even more sure that it was something you wanted and practically begged for it. He smiled because finally, he had you right where he wanted you. Carried you in his arms all the way to your bedroom and gently laid you down, spreading your legs and making you forget all about how long you made him wait for this. 

Soon after, many nights like that followed. 

You were beginning to get attached to him and wanted something exclusive, but that was the catch with him. He enjoyed being around you and having sex with you but when it came to tying him down with a label — it was harder than you thought it’d be. 

Eren wasn’t the sort of guy that slept with several girls a week. He was definitely not a socialite, and had a small circle of friends that he talked to on a day to day basis. He wasn’t a shy guy nor was he haunted by an ex. There was no specific reason as to why he was so against labeling what you two had and you began to feel that maybe it wasn’t all that important. As long as he wasn’t seeing anyone else like he was with you, did it really matter?

You started to feel like something was wrong with you. That, maybe, he just didn’t feel like you were good enough to be his official girlfriend so your attitude began to change, and he caught onto it pretty quickly. 

“What’s the matter? You're quieter than usual.”

“…s’nothing. How was it working with your dad today?”

“Uh…fine, but–”

“Want dessert? I’ll go get the pie I made. It’s really good. Be right back.”

“Okay…”

You cried in the kitchen holding the pie in your hands. Whether you’d gotten tears all in it or not, you weren’t sure but you couldn’t hold back your emotions anymore. Maybe you were being dramatic…or maybe that was you invalidating your feelings again. Either way, you felt shitty that you weren’t his girlfriend yet while you two had sex daily, and he practically lived at your place now. It made sense to at least be able to call him your boyfriend but what did you know? Before Eren, you’d only dated one other guy and he was okay. He just didn’t put in the effort and maybe that was why you were feeling so strongly about Eren. You knew that he was the one for you. You desperately wanted him to give you just a little bit more. Just enough to let you know that he felt the same way about you and wanted to make sure no one else came and took you away. As if that had a chance at happening but you wanted to at least know that he cared enough to make sure it didn’t.

So, you walked back out into the dining room and told him about how you felt. It was sickening for you to do because that meant exposing your desire for a label, something he didn’t care for, and was scared that was going to be his final straw. That he’d leave you sitting there at the table, losing him completely.

Instead, your fears were coddled and kissed away.

“Hold on, is that what this is about?” He asked, arms wrapped tightly around your waist with you sitting in his lap, sniffling. Even though you were crying, he couldn’t fight back a soft smile, looking at you. “Mmm, looks like it. I didn’t know calling you my girlfriend was all that important to you, baby. Of course we can be exclusive. I really don’t care for labels but…if it’s that important to you, then I’m okay with it.” You looked at him like you weren’t sure if he was telling the truth or only telling you what you wanted to hear. He pressed his lips against your forehead and sighed. “The thought of you going out and finding someone else to replace me makes me sick to my stomach. I’ll do anything to keep you to myself and if it’s being called your boyfriend, I’ll do it. It’s something I’ve been thinking a little about too but it’s scary because when I love someone…I love them. Hopefully you won’t ask for marriage anytime soon because this is already a lot for me.”

You giggled and pecked his lips, telling him that marriage was far from your mind and was simply happy with being his official girlfriend now.

After that, things were great. The slight tension was gone and Eren found that being your boyfriend wasn’t all that bad. Nothing changed, really, and he was grateful for that. 

But like many things, peace never seems to last very long.

Eren still spent most of his free time with you but something was off and you couldn’t figure out what it was. Maybe it was a gut feeling or your intuition pulling at you but Eren…was different now.

He came home later than usual and instead of telling you about his day or cuddling you until he fell asleep, he’d walk straight to the bathroom, shower and go right to bed. Not a kiss on your forehead or even asking what you made for dinner. That happened for five days of the week and on the weekends he was either with his friends or with you, but quiet. He was on his phone more, but at the same time — he wasn’t ignoring you. 

You’d talk about your day, the news, what was going on with your friends or even interests of your own. He’d hum, give small answers or even look at you as you chattered on and on. You weren’t a very talkative person to begin with so it wasn’t like you felt as if you were talking his head off day in and day out. It only seemed that way because he didn’t seem to talk to you like that anymore and it began to eat away at your self esteem. 

Was it something that you were doing? Or, better yet, what you weren’t doing?

You couldn’t figure it out but the best way to rectify any situation was to talk it out so you made plans to do that tonight, when he finally came home from work.

Like the past few weeks, he didn’t make lunch for you so you forgot to eat something and worked on a small dinner. You were much too anxious to make anything bigger than a small lasagna so you got to it. Your mind was reeling and spinning with thoughts that maybe he was just tired of you now. Bored with the same routine and didn’t know how to tell you that. If his silence was to save you from the hurt and reality of the situation then you were likely to explode from the unknowing of it all. You weren’t sure how you were going to take being told that your boyfriend was bored of the relationship because you were content. You didn’t find the days to be long nor the nights to be dreadful. You loved when he came back home to you, kissing you and telling you how much he missed you. You worked from home now so you didn’t get a lot of social interaction unless your friends came over or you got invited out to lunch with your mom or close friends. 

You saw Eren more than anyone and the thought of him not finding your presence to be enough anymore made you want to throw up. What could you do about that anyway? Break the relationship off and let him find someone that made him feel something again? Did you have the courage to be that selfless? Eren was such a catch. He was miserably attractive and the sex was beyond anything you’d ever experienced. He was kind, understanding, caring and loved you like you were the only woman in his entire world. He was the perfect boyfriend but now you were beginning to wonder if you were the perfect girlfriend for him or if someone else was just meant to take your place.

When the hand on the clock on the wall striked seven, you were scrambling to get the table set. Plates and utensils were laid out on the surface of the table with empty glasses next to them. Instead of pouring the usual, you whipped out a fine glass of wine from the wine fridge. Neither you nor him were drinkers but on certain occasions, like this one, did you feel it was necessary to bring one out. 

Needless to say — you were stressed.

Thirty minutes later, you heard the front door unlock. Then it closed and you heard keys hit the small table near the door along with shoes sliding across the hardwood like he was taking them off, and pushing them to the side. Heavy but slow footsteps thudded through the hallway until they came close to the dining room…then curved around the corner, heading down another hallway that sounded like the way to the bathroom. 

You released a sigh, closing your eyes with your hands together in your lap. It was so quiet, you were almost able to hear your own heartbeat. Nervous wasn’t the proper word. It was like you were having trouble breathing. Several long deep breaths just weren’t enough to regulate the lack of oxygen you were getting, and it was because you couldn’t stop thinking about how the conversation was going to go. You didn’t care about upsetting him because this was something that’s been eating at you for a while. Something you’ve been wanting to know. You just didn't want to lose him over something like this. 

So you told yourself to relax. That it was going to be fine.

At least, that was all you were able to tell yourself to try and help.

After his shower, you heard him pad into the bedroom across the hall from the bathroom. You couldn’t hear much else so it felt like you were waiting for an eternity until you heard a door close. Soon, he was walking out of the bedroom and coming down the hallway again. Your heart thumped dramatically against your chest as you stayed seated, fidgeting in place, trying to swallow the lump in your throat. This was Eren. He wasn’t an angry guy and always listened to you when there was an issue or something that needed to be talked about. He was mature and handled it all with care and understanding. He loved you. There was nothing you needed to be afraid of. This was going to go well. You were sure of it.

When his tall frame finally passed into the dining room, a smile crossed your face. How long has it been since he sat down for dinner now? You couldn’t remember but didn’t care as you quickly stood up from your seat, pulling out his chair. You watched with anxious eyes as he sat down with a nod towards you, clear bags underneath his eyes. Your heart twisted in your chest. Was the impending conversation even necessary? What if he told you that his lack of engagement with you now was just because of how hard work’s been lately? You were positive that you were going to only feel like shit if that was the case. While he worked his ass off getting ready to take over his father’s successful company at the young age of twenty four, you were at home, letting your overthinking undo all the good in your relationship. Sure, communication was key but it didn’t help things if you sat around worrying over something that probably wasn’t that serious to begin with. 

There you went. Invalidating your feelings again. When have your gut feelings ever been wrong? If something wasn’t right, then maybe there was a good reason for it. 

The only way you were going to be able to find out was through asking him about it first. 

When you sat down, he started cutting at a small piece of the lasagna to put onto his plate. His silence unnerved you but you held your ground, firm in your decision to talk with him about your worries.

“So…how was your day?” You asked.

Maybe the talk needed to happen after a normal conversation.

Eren’s eyes flickered to the bottle of wine before looking at you. 

“Fine, but what do you really want to talk about?” He countered back, finding the wine to be a clear indication that you were wanting to have a more serious conversation than the one you were so desperate to start with. 

You swallowed the saliva that kept collecting under your tongue, and released a sigh. 

“Perceptive as always,” you commented under your breath, looking down at your lap. It was now or never. “Things just haven’t felt the same lately and I’ve been wondering if…if you still feel the same way about me.”

When you looked up, he was staring at you. His expression was unreadable — go figure. Usually, you were able to tell what he was thinking but nowadays, you’ve not the slightest clue. 

Eren cleared his throat and looked down at his plate, forking a good chunk of the lasagna in his mouth. He stared at the wall across the room like he was in thought. 

A long, deep thought.

“Just been tired,” he said, “Work’s been stressful. Sorry, baby.”

He didn’t even look at you when he said it. That was why you were having a hard time believing him. His eyes always told you the truth and when he was being honest, he never shied away. He wasn’t very good at lying so you always could tell when he was. This time, it was like he was hiding something from you and you didn’t like it. You hated that feeling. That feeling of knowing something was wrong but being unable to tell what exactly it was. 

It also made you angry because it was obvious something was off. Whatever was going on with him, he was keeping it close to his chest and you couldn’t stand it. There shouldn’t be secrets in a relationship. If there was anything he felt he needed to tell you about, shouldn’t he do it? No matter how bad or hurtful it was, you could take it. He knew that and still decided to keep it from you.

You couldn’t let that slide. 

“Eren,” you said in a firm tone that made him look back at you, still unreadable. “Just tell me what it is. Something is off with you and it’s been bothering me. Aren’t you always talking about healthy communication and that? What’s made you think you have to keep anything from me? You say it’s work but I don’t believe that.”

He shrugged, “Then I don’t know what to tell you, sweetheart. It’s the truth. I’ve honestly just been really drained with work and my dad. None of it has been easy, you know.”

“Lies again,” you stood up causing your chair to scratch loudly across the hardwood floor, fists at your sides. “Are you fucking someone else?”

Eren frowned before smirking, “Am I what?”

“Are you fucking someone else, Eren?”

For a moment, he just stared at you like something you said was funny to him. Then he went back to eating which only pissed you off more.

“You are…aren’t you?”

Your voice was weak this time, afraid to even entertain the idea that he was giving time that was always reserved for you to someone that wasn’t you.

Out of everything else you worried about daily, cheating hadn’t crossed your mind even once. Eren just wasn’t the type and you’d believed it for so long. Not once did he make you feel like someone else had the ability to replace you. He made you feel as though you were the complete package. That it was you or nothing. 

Right now…he was making you feel the exact opposite and you’d never wanted to be more wrong in your life.

“Can we not do this right now?” He asked of you, taking a bite out of the cheesy bread you made to go with the lasagna. “Really don’t feel like arguing tonight, if you don’t mind.”

“I don’t care,” you sharply responded, giving him a hard look, “We’re either going to get all of this out in the open now or I’m leaving. Tonight.”

Eren stopped eating at that, flickering his dark green eyes up at you from his seated position. “You gonna what?”

Your expression didn’t change one bit but that didn’t mean he wasn’t making you nervous. The fast beat of your pulse was proof enough. “You heard me. I’m going to end up sleeping at a friend’s place for the night if we don’t talk about this like two adults having an adult conversation.”

He sat there for a moment, quietly. Even when he reached for his glass and poured a bit of wine into it, he was silent. You stood next to him, tongue pressed at the roof of your mouth, hoping he’d finally tell you what he’s been hiding from you. There had to be something. You couldn’t be delusional enough to come up with something that was so clearly there. You had a reason to be accusatory when he wasn’t acting like himself. Especially when he spent most of his off days on his phone while being with you. Something was up. You knew it. 

“So you think I’m cheating huh…” You heard him mutter before he brought the glass to his lips, sipping softly. He didn’t stop until the glass was completely empty. Then, he poured himself another but this time there was a faint smile on his face. “The stories you can come up with are hilarious. Ever thought about becoming an actor?”

“They’re not stories if they’re true,” you said back and he huffed out a chuckle.

“And how did you come to this conclusion again? Hm?” With his newly filled glass, he stood up, almost pressed up against you. You took a step back but he caught you by the waist, and pulled you right back in front of him. “Are you sure you’ve been getting enough sleep? Or have you been getting too much sleep? Because right now, you aren’t really making all that much sense.”

“Eren,” you tried to pull his arm from around you with a frown on your face, “You are not going to stand here and gaslight me into thinking I’m crazy. A woman’s intuition is 9 times out 10 right so how about you do more listening than talking so you can understand why I think you’re cheating on me.”

“Gaslight…” He stared at you, eyes glossed over with amusement and a bit of…lust? “That’s new. Where did you learn that one? Would never gaslight you, baby. You just need rest is all. How about…” he leaned down and ghosted his lips against yours, brushing them gently with a lazy smirk on his face. “I fuck you nice and good so you can stop worrying about small things and focus on us, huh?”

Something definitely wasn’t right and maybe it was the exhaustion being egged on by the chase of alcohol he was shoving down his throat or maybe he really was hiding something from you. Thinking that sex was going to solve it all. He couldn’t have been more wrong. 

You leaned back from him and held eye contact, feeling your skin prickle with heat. “Eren. Let me go. We’re not doing anything until we talk this out. I’m serious.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he moved to your neck and gave it a long swipe with the pad of his warm tongue, “M’serious too.”

When he began to mouth at your skin, you gave him a hard shove and he thankfully caught his footing before he backed into the table behind him. He leaned against the table with a hand on its surface to keep up most of his weight as he looked at you, a smirk still present. 

“What the fuck is your problem, Eren?” You panted, trying to swallow the lump in your throat. “I’m trying to talk to you. We’re talking, aren’t we? It’s either a yes or a no. Simple as that.”

He watched you fix your shirt back to where it previously was and hadn’t even realized that he had tried to unbutton a few buttons of your shirt. Whoops. 

“You know, if I tell you…you’ll just wanna leave even more…”

Your heart almost stopped. Was your worst nightmare actually coming true? Was he admitting it?

Was Eren actually cheating on you?

No.

No, he wasn’t. 

He was right. Maybe it was all in your head. Yes. He was playing a joke on you right now because there was no way he was insinuating that he was fucking someone else other than you. That wasn’t him. That wasn’t the Eren that you’d grown to know and love. He loved you and only you. 

And you refused to believe otherwise. 

With shaky legs and a foggy confused mind, you walked back towards him and took his face in your hands. “It’s okay. I know you’d never cheat on me. It’s okay. I believe you.” 

When you threw your arms around his neck, he didn’t make a move to reciprocate. He stood there, letting you hug him. He didn’t even move when you pressed several kisses along his neck up to his face. He let you shower him in little kisses and whispers that you wouldn’t ever suspect him of doing something like that ever again. 

Even through your sudden display of affection towards him, there was still that gnawing feeling at the back of your mind that told you to stay on guard. That there were things you were still blind to. If anything, be more alert now because there was no doubt Eren was going to prey on your aloofness. Take advantage of the fact that you were too stupid and in love to question him further about his abnormal behavior around you.

You decided to take its advice and remain sharp no matter how much you were in love with him because that could end up being your fatal mistake.

— two weeks later…

It was around noon when you’d decided to pack a nice lunch for your boyfriend and sit with him for his break at the company. 

You were excited.

Since the talk with him in the dining room a few weeks ago, things had really taken a turn for the better in terms of your relationship. 

He was more attentive, wasn’t on his phone the entire time you talked and even watched several movies with you until you’d fall asleep in his arms. He came home earlier every night and even offered to make dinner sometimes. It was like he’d done a complete 180, and you found yourself beyond relieved to know that the love he’d shown you at the beginning of your relationship was still very much alive. Things felt just as they had back then, and you couldn’t have been happier.

In light of things and your positive attitude for the day, you chose to wear a frilly yellow sundress with white platform shoes to match. The jewelry was kept light as well as your makeup. Your hair was up and out of your face to combat the heat outside. As you grabbed your purse, keys and the beautifully wrapped lunch in the form of small containers that happened to also be yellow, you walked out of the door, locking it behind you. 

Upon leaving the apartment, your elderly neighbor complimented your outfit and it only added to your upbeat mood. She asked if you were seeing someone and when you said your boyfriend, she talked about young love and how she missed having someone like that. She wished you well and hobbled off into her apartment. 

With a smile, you walked to your car and set everything in the passenger seat. After buckling in, you were off to see your wonderful boyfriend at work for the first time in a long time. 

Typically, he didn’t allow you to come simply because his father was apprehensive about you showing up when he felt his son needed to focus the most. However, since it was during his lunch, Eren had told you that it was safe to come whenever during that time so you remembered the exact time, and prepared for it. 

The song that came on the radio next made your fingers dance along the steering wheel, bopping your head a bit to the beat. You turned it up and began singing the words, not caring about the odd looks you received when you had to stop at a red light. You were in such a great mood that no amount of negativity from strangers was going to ruin it. 

When you finally made it to the tall building, you let the valet take your car off somewhere and walked inside with a little pep in your step. 

Hopefully Eren was going to be just as happy to see you as you were for him. 

You were barely through the door when a tall woman with blond hair came up to you, lips spread out into a wide grin. Her dark red lipstick matching the red bodycon dress that she wore and the louboutin heels on her feet. 

“How may I help you today? Are you interested in speaking with one of our representatives about one of the many programs that we offer? Or are you here for the internship?” She eyed your attire in a very judgemental fashion, almost looking as if she was disapproving of your choice of dress. You were forced to remember that no one at the Jaeger Enterprises knew who you were yet. It made sense why she felt that you were either a future customer or on the road to becoming a part of the business.  

With that thought in mind, you had to take a deep breath and pull up a polite smile even when it was the last thing you wanted to do.

“No. I am Eren’s girlfriend, and I’m here to spend lunch with him. If you don’t mind.”

The woman’s face fell just a bit, but it was noticeable enough. She clutched her clipboard tighter against her chest and blinked. “Really? I…I don’t believe we’ve met before. Perhaps I should ring him so that he knows you’re coming up. Yes?”

Her behavior now was strange. She looked uncomfortable and even sounded a tad bit invasive. Like she didn’t believe you and wanted to see if it was true. It made a little sense. You couldn’t imagine what it must be like for a random woman to waltz in, claiming she was the CEO's son’s girlfriend. It sounded a little outlandish when you gave it more thought but you had nothing to hide. Unless Eren decided to play a joke on you and pretend he had no clue who you were — there was nothing to worry about. 

You followed the woman to the large desk just at the middle of the floor and watched her dial a few numbers with her perfectly manicured fingers, listening for the dial tone. When you really gave the women you were able to see a real look, they were all so beautiful. It made you feel a bit out of place. They looked polished and elegant. Looked like the money they brought home every month with a salary of thousands. It started to make you feel self conscious as you stood there, feeling your palms clam up from the nerves of knowing that you did not belong there. At all. 

What was it like with Eren seeing those women day in and day out? Did he also find them as attractive as you did? Was he ever enticed to speak to one in a not so work friendly way? 

Those thoughts threatened to eat away at the joyful mood you’d walked in with until the woman spoke up. 

“It seems today is just full of surprises,” She said, the smile on her face beyond unnatural; forced. What was it about? “Mr. Jaeger did not pick up, unfortunately. So,” She shrugged. “There isn’t much that I can do. Sorry.”

Your brows furrowed in confusion. “Sorry? I…I don’t understand. What do you mean he didn’t pick up? This is his lunch, right? Maybe I came at the wrong time…”

“It’s his lunch, yes, but he could be with a client.” The woman set her clipboard down and tucked a loose piece of hair behind her ear, “If you’re wanting to see him, you will have to arrange an appointment.”

“What?” You asked, mouth agape. “An appointment for what? I’m his girlfriend. I don’t need an appointment.”

“Ma’am,” She sighed as if she was used to coming in contact with women like you, daily. “Like I said, not much that I can do from here. For all I know, you could be lying like the rest. I can’t let you up until I can confirm who you are with Mr. Jaeger. Now,” she sat down at a computer behind the desk and started pecking away at the keyboard. “-if you would like to go ahead and schedule an appointment, I can do…” She stared at the screen for a few moments while you were still trying to process the fact that Eren hadn’t even picked up the phone. What was more confusing than that was how hard it was to even see him in the first place. Why did no one there know who you were? You were in a relationship with him. You weren’t some stranger off of the street. You two lived together for god’s sakes. What the hell was going on? “How does next Tuesday sound?” She looked up at you, disregarding the far away look in your eyes. “At 2pm?”

Blinking, you looked back and smiled. “No thanks. I don’t need an appointment to see my boyfriend. Now if you’ll excuse me.”

You clutched the lunch you’d prepared close to your side and briskly walked towards the elevators that were off to the side. The woman called for you but you didn’t stop. There was no way in hell you were going to be kept from seeing your boyfriend whenever you wanted to. As if the fact that no one knew you there was going to make a bit of difference. The only way you were going to prove to them that you were who you said you were was talking to Eren, face to face. With your stupidly forgotten phone at home, you couldn’t even attempt to call his cell to clear your name. This was the only way. 

“Ma’am! You can’t go up there without getting cleared through authorization first! Ma’am!”

Her voice fell on deaf ears as you reached the elevator and was about to tap the button when a strong hand gripped at your elbow, swiveling you around. You were about to protest when your eyes met a tall, burly man that looked to be part of the security detail. His face was emotionless but his body language said enough. It hadn’t even crossed your mind that there was security walking around to keep the peace within the building. It wasn’t like you had time to pay that much attention while realizing the lack of knowledge about your relationship with Eren with the corporate staff.

“Sorry, Ma’am,” The man apologized, not a shred of compassion in his expression or tone of voice. “No authorization, no access. Please vacate the premises or I’ll have to force you out.”

“I don’t need any authorization if you’d just listen to me! I really am his girlfriend!” You tried to reason with them as you were being tugged back to the front entrance. “Try calling him again! I’m not lying, assholes!”

Trying to remain respectful felt useless when you were being forced out of the very building your boyfriend worked at. His father owned the entire enterprise and yet, it was as if you didn’t even exist to anyone there. Of course they saw you as another poor girl trying to see Eren again after spending one night with him thinking there was more to it than what it was. To them, you were merely a one night stand looking to be more and it felt degrading almost. No matter what you tried telling them, it wasn’t going to reach them because you had no proof. 

As you were beginning to lose the strength to fight against being escorted out, you heard a familiar voice boom from behind you that made you quickly turn your head. 

“Dear daughter in law,” Grisha said with a warm smile, hands behind his back. “What a wonderful surprise to see you here.” 

“So sorry about all of that with the security and such,” Grisha said over his shoulder as he approached a different elevator that wasn’t even near the lobby. You figured it was a personal one that only him and important clients were allowed to take. “My son gets a lot of…unwanted visitors so we had to take better precautions because most of those women didn’t have very nice intentions.” He chuckled, letting you enter first before he walked in. “So that’s why that happened but of course, none of that was appropriate in the slightest so I apologize, again, on their behalf. I’ll make sure they formally give their own apologies before you leave.”

“Oh no, no. That won’t be necessary,” you were quick to wave your hands, completely against the idea of making yourself a bigger spectacle than you were already made out to be. “I accept all apologies. Please, it’s fine.”

Your sheepish grin didn’t seem to convince him, “Oh come now,” he tilted his head, smiling comfortingly at you. “Don’t be so shy. You’re my son’s girlfriend. Soon to be fiancé and wife someday, yes?”

How were you supposed to respond to that? The Jaeger family’s always been so kind to you, and your family. Lots of get-togethers and gift-giving around almost every single major holiday. They treated you like their daughter in law already and though it was a bit overwhelming, you never wanted to disrespect them in any sort of way so you went along with just about everything they planned and did. 

Grisha, above all, was the most accommodating. The family definitely seemed to hold high expectations for Eren but acted as if they held none for you. You weren’t blind. You knew what they thought whenever they saw you. When you were going to get married to their precious son. When you were going to give them grandchildren. When you were going to finally become a part of their family, forever. There were clearly still things that you and Eren had to figure out within your relationship. So, marriage was too ridiculous to even talk about right now. Let alone children. 

Moreover, there was just too much you needed to learn about him and vice versa. Marriage was a forever sort of thing to you, so you didn’t want to just jump into sharing a last name with him. You needed more time, and hoped that the Jaeger family could one day understand that.

“You can never know what the future holds,” you replied with a more convincing smile in hopes that it was going to shut the topic down. Knowing Grisha, it was only going to satiate his interest for now. It was bound to come back up later.

“Hm,” He focused his gaze back forward, adjusting his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. “Indeed.”

“Eren’s still on his lunch break, right?”

Grisha nodded, “Should be. Ah,” He glanced down at the lunch you delicately prepared and brought with you, “Having lunch together, I see?” You shyly looked down with a nod and his eyes softened. “Precious. I remember my wife doing the same for me many, many years ago. As a workaholic, I could never remember to eat when I was supposed to but that lovely woman always remembered and brought the most delicious foods a man could ever want to eat.”

You couldn’t help but smile at the way he was going down memory lane and momentarily forgot about all of the issues that you’d dealt with Eren. Maybe you two had a future like that. Where both of you worked out all of your differences and just fell into a routine of being around each other, living out your lives. 

You hated to fight, to argue. When things were good, they were so good. However, when they were bad…they were bad. 

Arguments with Eren were always one sided. Hellbent on not letting you win or even speak because nothing you said mattered more than the point he was trying to get across to you. He was right, you were wrong. It wasn’t healthy, of course it wasn’t healthy, but you loved him and he was working on that; for you.

There was a lot about Eren that even his family weren’t aware of. He had manipulative tendencies and never liked being told no. That was a part of him that you couldn’t help him fix after the argument a few weeks ago. He said he was still working on those things too but after a small argument that happened recently…you weren’t so sure.

Eren was the perfect boyfriend but he just had a few things he needed to work out. 

— flashback.

“What the fuck is this?”

12:01 in the morning. 

You were woken up by the bright light of your phone being shoved in your face, being asked the same question twice over as if you didn’t hear him the first time around.

Eren’s face was turned up into an ugly frown, hand clenched around your cell. It looked as if he was prepared to crush it into pieces so you finished rubbing the sleep out of your eyes and squinted through the light to see what he was so upset about.

A conversation with your best friend was up. 

Still trying to locate the problem, you read through what he scrolled over and felt your skin crawl.

— mina 

are you still meeting up with armin tomorrow? 

pls say no bc you know how eren’s gonna take it

i don’t mind when u vent to me but lately it’s just been about the little arguments you two get into and it hurts to hear about

i know it’s late but just text me back when you can 

like first thing ok?

love you

delivered, 12:00am

Mind blank, you sat up and stared at the phone, not knowing what to even say. If you tried to explain to him why you were meeting up with Armin, he wasn’t going to believe you. 

Armin was having problems in his relationship and asked if you were down to meet and just chat about it all. He also wanted to see you since it’s been a while. Completely platonic; as friends. Still, that obviously wasn’t going to matter to Eren. He didn’t like when you were around a guy alone. Without him there, it made him nervous and you were never really given a reason why but you had an idea or two. He was a jealous man. Naturally, it was easy to assume that you meeting with Armin unnerved him because he couldn’t stand you talking with another man that wasn’t him. 

It was also the reason why he preferred you working at home and not at a place where he’d have to worry about men talking to you daily. Even if it was just about work. 

Mina didn’t understand what you saw in Eren. She knew what he was like from what you’d told her in previous conversations, and couldn't stand him one bit. She called him a narcissist one time she ran into him and she tried to tell you that it looked as if he was going to hit her but played it off. You tried to be understanding but it just didn’t sound like something he would even think about doing. You knew Eren. That wasn’t him. 

However, the way he was looking at you right now with flared nostrils and usually bright green eyes now dark as the room itself, it scared you a little. You didn’t have anything to hide but to Eren, that wasn’t always the case. He seemed to fabricate a lot when it wasn’t there, and you’ve never been able to figure out how to combat that. It was his word over your own. What could you do?

“Are you gonna have me ask you again? Because I wouldn’t if I were you,” he said in a low tone, phone still up and shining at your profile. “Tell me why the fuck you’re planning on meeting with Armin today and failed to tell me?”

You released a sigh. It was so early. Why was he insisting on asking about it now? “You know Armin. He’s a good friend of ours–“

“Is that what I asked you?” Eren leaned towards you, eyes searching your face. You sat, rigid. “No. It’s not. Why are you meeting up with him? Alone, at that.”

You stared back at him, feeling agitated now. “He just wants to have coffee and talk. He’s been having a few problems with Lili, and just needs someone to talk to. Plus, I haven’t seen him in forever so sorry I wanna see my friend.”

You laid back down and pulled the blanket back over your head. Eren clicked the phone off and set it back on the side table near the bed. He rubbed his face and groaned. 

“Don’t do that.”

“…do what?” You grumbled from under the sheets.

He looked at you, a soft look on his face. “Get all mad at me. You know I don’t like it when you do that.”

You pulled the covers off of your face and glared at him, “Then stop getting mad at me. It works both ways, don’t you think?“

Eren bit into his lip before leaning down to lay his head on your stomach. He stared up at the ceiling, clearly in thought.

“Sorry.“

You pouted, “For?”

His pretty emerald eyes flickered over to you, lips tugging into a smile. “For getting mad at you. Happy?“

“No,” you fought back a smile of your own and let a hand grip onto a pillow to your right. “You’re not going to try and stop me from meeting with Armin today, right?”

Eren grew quiet and you saw how he chose to look away from you, not wanting to answer the question. Your brows creased. 

“Right?” You asked him again.

He rolled his eyes, still not looking at you.

“Yeah, I can’t really promise tha–Ow!”

You smacked him with the pillow you were holding onto and he laughed, covering his face just in case you decided to do another sneak attack.

“Say it or I’ll do worse.“

“…no.“

“Eren.”

He flinched when he felt you move under him but realized you weren’t planning on hitting him again. His head plopped onto the bed from your stomach and when he pulled his hands away, you were straddling him. His eyes widened in surprise. 

“What are you–“

“I’m going to torture you the best way I know how until you give me what I want,” your hands played with the edge of his sweatpants, teasingly tugging at them like you were going to pull them down.

Eren smirked, putting his hands behind his head. “This should be fun.”

You grinned, palming his growing erection. “Yeah, but not for you.”

Not even two minutes into sucking him off was he telling you that he was perfectly fine with you meeting up with Armin. You made him promise that twice until he was finally able to cum down your throat, panting with his eyes squeezed shut. He was always easy when he really wanted something from you.

“Too easy,” you breathed against his inner thighs causing them to tremble at the feeling of your warm breath. 

Eren looked down at you before he flipped your positions, pushing your legs against your chest. You giggled at him, feeling him anxiously tug at your pajama shorts. 

“Deserve a good spanking for that little comment, huh?”

You fake pouted, holding onto your knees to keep your legs against you, “I think so. Go easy will you?”

He smirked, “Yeah, not fuckin’ happening. When I’m through with you, Armin won’t even think about coming near you.“

You shivered, feeling his tongue at your clothed cunt. “And why’s that?”

“Mmm,” he mouthed at the backs of your thighs, smiling against your skin. “You’re going to have way too many marks to cover up. And I know how much you don’t like wasting your makeup on something as silly as lovebites, right?”

“Eren,” you whined, “Please…ah! Please don’t.”

He swatted your hands away from your knees and pushed your legs apart until he was face to face with what he was looking for.

His teeth shined against the peek of moonlight that peered into the room, “Does it look like you’re in any position to tell me what to do, baby?”

— present.

Needless to say, the argument was diffused but it shouldn’t have started up in the first place. After the meeting with Armin, Eren was all over you that night. Ripped your clothes off and fucked you from the shower to the bedroom. You told him that the meeting with Armin wasn’t much. Just a bit of talking until Lili called and he had to go help her at the flower shop she owned and worked at. Eren didn’t care for the little details. He just wanted to 're-mark his territory'. 

Armin called him on his lunch break that next day and told him that he couldn’t reach you so he wanted to relay a message. 

“Tell her the advice worked! Me and Lili are good again and we’ll be communicating better now because of it.”

“Mm, no problem. Must’ve been some good advice if you were trying to call and tell her that,” Eren responded, signing off his name on some paperwork in front of him. He was clearly trying to gauge for any sneaky intel on Armin’s true intentions with you. If he had any, that is. 

“Yep, it was! She said to just sit down and listen to each other when we talk and we actually got out a lot we’ve been holding in lately. I didn’t know Lili’s been thinking about having kids and was just worried I didn’t want any because of a comment I made with Connie over the phone a week ago. Crazy, right? So basically it was just a misunderstanding and we talked about the best time to have children which is now since we’re both pretty financially stable. You know I’ve always wanted my own children so I can’t wait to…”

Eren tuned the blond out to think a little. So Armin was just a friend to you. That was good. If there was more to it, he wouldn’t have thought twice about getting rid of him. Sounded a bit drastic but anything to eliminate any sort of competition. You were his, after all. Wasn’t he well within his rights to protect what belonged to him? 

“Hey, I’ll call you back later. Kinda busy with work at the moment,” Eren said, signing off on the last bit of work he had for the day.

“Ah, sorry! I forgot you’re at work right now. Yeah, yeah. Let’s talk later.”

“K, see ya.”

If he had to get rid of everyone, he wouldn’t think twice about it.

As complicated as Eren was, he was still your boyfriend and you weren’t willing to give up on him. He wasn’t a project that needed to be fixed nor was he a problem that you needed to solve. He just needed your unconditional love and a lot of patience. As long as you continued to give him those things, you figured there was nothing that could go wrong. After all, he was still relatively new to a relationship so you didn’t mind the time it was going to take to remove the walls he still had up. 

“Ah,” Grisha smiled at you, “This is my floor.” He stepped out of the elevator but had a hand on the doors so they didn’t close until he was finished, “Go up to the 10th floor and Eren’s office is the last door on the left. If you find yourself getting lost, as this is a pretty big building, don’t hesitate to call my cell.” He patted his suit jacket, indicating that he had his phone handy.

You smiled, a bit embarrassed. “I…I actually left mine at home. So, I can’t really call you.”

“That’s quite alright,” he chuckled, unconsciously easing your nerves. “Just have Eren’s secretary phone me then. That’s if she gives you trouble if you ask where his office is. All good?“

You nodded, earrings chiming together. “Yes, thank you sir.”

Grisha shook his head, “Please. Call me dad.” You bit into your lip as he walked away, waving a hand over his shoulder. “Won't be long now.”

No need to respond. It seemed that he was having a good day. No need to go and ruin it with the truth.

When the doors to the elevator closed shut, you hit the tenth floor button and felt the metal box move further up. It was quiet now and you were finally able to think about everything. 

You weren’t sure if Eren was going to give you much of his time since you figured he’d still do some work while eating. You smiled to yourself. He was like that. Always so hardworking. Since he started to come home early, you often found him lying in bed against the headboard on his phone. It didn’t make you suspicious like before since he was always open to you laying by his side, watching him go through emails and such. It was boring but it typically put you to sleep. Especially when he hummed while doing it. 

It didn’t feel or even seem like he was hiding anything from you so it wasn’t hard to trust him more. He kept his phone unlocked and out of curiosity, you went through his messages and found nothing. Next was his instagram direct messages and even snapchat. Nothing. Well, there was this questionable snap sent from Jean but nothing you couldn’t see him sending Eren out of the blue. All in all, the phone was clean and you never snooped since. Of course, that was done while Eren was sleeping one night but when you told him the next morning, he didn’t get upset. He simply kissed your forehead and asked if you found anything. 

You realized he was hinting towards the snap Jean sent since he also knew how random his friend could be. After laughing it off, there was nothing more to talk about in regards to you going through his phone.

So it was official. Eren loved you and only wanted to show you that you could trust him. 

That was good enough for you.

When the elevator dinged and the doors parted open, you walked out and was instantly met with the secretary’s desk.

Chestnut brown eyes lightly lined with black liner and a hint of mascara caught you as soon as you stepped out of the elevator. Her lipstick covered lips spread into a smile as she ditched the notebook that she was previously writing into. 

“Well, hi there!” Her silvery voice rang, manicured nails fiddling with the pen in her hands. “And you must be…?”

When you told her your name, her eyes lit up. 

“Ah! You must be Mr. Jaeger’s girlfriend, right?” Startled by her knowledge, you nodded and she giggled. “Don’t worry. I know it’s classified information but he talks about you quite a bit around here.”

You felt your ears burn. That was definitely something you were intending to bring up to him when you saw him.

“That…sounds like him. Um, it’s still his break so I was wanting to spend it with hi–“

“No need to explain!” She interjected, jumping up from her seat. That was when you noticed how red her hair was. How pretty. “You’re allowed to do whatever you want here. Do you know where his office is or should I take you?”

You nodded, “I was told by his dad where it’s at. Thank you though.”

“You’re very welcome! By the way,” she stuck her hand out for you to take, her pearly whites beaming under the lighting of the room. “Anna. Just in case we meet again.“

You smiled back warmly, curling your hand around hers. “It’s nice meeting you, Anna and I’m sure we will be.”

When you walked away, she was still staring after you, face just as bright as it was when you first walked in. She seemed friendly enough which made you less nervous to walk through the floor in search of your boyfriend. Your experience with walking through the lobby earlier wasn’t one you wanted to particularly remember as an overall experience of visiting the Jaeger Enterprises so that was nice.

The hall that you were walking directly down seemed oddly quiet but you played with the idea that maybe everyone else was on break too. You didn’t know how a business worked but maybe when Eren had his lunch, so did the employees. Or maybe you just thought too much into it. The workers were probably busy. Perhaps their little offices were even sound proof.

Or maybe the floor was normally this quiet. 

Finally, you came to the last door of the hallway which was indeed on the left like Grisha had said. 

With a breath and a smile, you turned the knob instead of knocking. To be fair, why knock when he knew that you were coming? Sure, you took a minute but he still had an entire hour left to his break so what did it matter? 

Anxiously, you pushed open the door and felt your blood immediately run cold at the sight before you. 

“Ah! Eren! Fuck, right there!”

“Since when did you get this fuckin’ tight, huh? Been letting someone else fuck you, I bet.”

“Yeah and he was ten times better than you.”

“…you’re gonna regret that.”

Eren had the woman laid across his desk, skirt long forgotten across the room. Her panties dangled around one of her ankles while the other one was perched against his shoulder. She had her arms loosely wrapped around his neck, his hands holding her waist as he fucked into her. The desk rocked underneath them, creating a constant thumping noise over and over again. It was a miracle someone hadn’t heard them before you walked in.

Guess the rooms were soundproof after all.

His hair was struggling to stay in the tie he still had, strands of it sticking to his forehead from the amount of sweat he was producing. 

Everything was hurting. You were in so much shock and pain that you couldn’t even move. 

Was this really happening? No matter how many times you tried blinking, the image was still the same.

How long?

How long had this been going on without you knowing?

Then again, you’d known all along didn’t you? 

Eren lied and your intuition had been right. 

He was cheating on you. 

He was fucking another woman that wasn’t you.

You felt like you were going to throw up. 

The second you’d shuffled back from the doorway, your heel had caught onto the sill of the door. Catching your footing by holding onto the wood of the doorway, Eren’s eyes were immediately on you.

Great.

“Shit,” he muttered.

The moment you saw him stumble off of the woman and get his pants back up, you were running back down the hallway, ignoring him calling your name. Your eyes were quick to fill up with angry tears, barely able to see where you were going. You ran into a few people that worked there but didn’t stay to answer any of their worrisome questions about what was going on or if you were okay.

You fled back to the elevator but couldn’t escape Anna.

“Hey, what’s the matter?” She asked in a hurry as she rounded her desk, trying to get to you.

You’d smashed the down button several times, trying to quiet your sobs but it was no use. You couldn’t pretend that you weren’t in shambles. Your makeup was ruined and you didn’t look nearly the same as when you came through last. Immediately, she knew something was wrong.

“Hey,” Anna touched your shoulder and it was hard for you not to break down then and there. “Do you wanna talk about it?” You didn’t answer her and she sighed, chewing on her bottom lip. “Hey you know what? I know a good ice cream place near here. Wanna get some with me? We can take it to go if you don’t want to sit inside. I just…”

You glanced at her and after some thinking, you agreed. None of your other friends were available right now since it was still early in the day. They were definitely at work. You didn’t want to bother them and Anna seemed like a nice person. Why not? Plus, anything to get away from Eren right now.

Anna smiled at your nod, “Great. Let me just go and get my purse–“

You grabbed her wrist, eyes wide as they darted towards the hall. You could hear rapid footsteps coming and knew that Eren was still hot on your trail. 

“I’ll pay. Please, can we just go?”

Right on time, the elevator dinged and opened.

Anna blinked and saw the frantic look on your face and nodded.

“Sure, yeah. Of course.”

You tugged her inside and hit the lobby button, watching the doors slowly close but not before you caught Eren’s face in the slit. He looked devastated but not more than you. He called for you once more until his voice was cut off by the seal. The elevator moved down until it hit the floor, and Anna led you out and into the lobby. 

The same woman from before at the front desk tried to inquire where Anna was going but the red headed woman waved her off telling her that she was going on her break. 

Thankfully, that was enough to kill her curiosity and you two finally walked out of the building. Immediately, you were able to breathe and wanted nothing more than to be as far away from the building as humanly possible. 

“It’s just this way,” Anna said, holding your hand and tugging you down the street. 

————

“So the rumors are true.”

You were seated across from her, a cup of strawberry ice cream in front of you that was barely touched. Anna chose chocolate, and was halfway done with hers. The shop itself wasn’t very busy, and you were glad. It wasn’t like you wanted to be surrounded by a bunch of people at the moment anyways. 

Anna had an uneasy look on her face that made you weary.

“Rumors?” You asked, forgetting about your ice cream altogether.

She sighed, looking down. “Yeah. I thought they were just rumors. That there was no way Mr. Jaeger was having sex with the other secretaries on our floor. I mean,” she grimaced, “He’s dating you. Why would he do that?”

You laughed dryly, “Guess we both want to know the same thing.”

This…changed things. You never thought you’d have to sit down and think about what the relationship was going to look like if Eren ever actually cheated on you but now… Now you have to. 

You couldn’t stay with him. Not after that. If he was able to cheat on you once then he was definitely capable and likely to do it again. The saying was overrated but it was true. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Especially if you let him get away with it by staying in the relationship. 

All you wanted to do was cry for an entire month or two. Just wallow in the pain and hurt until you became numb to it all. Never leave the apartment, forget to eat for a couple of days and stay in bed until you can't tell the time of day anymore. 

Another part of you wanted to confront him. Scream, cry, yell and hit him until you got tired enough to stop. You trusted him, and he lied to you. For how long, you wondered. How long was this going on without you knowing? How stupid you’d been. To think that things had gone back to the way they were — it was your fault for believing it. The signs were probably there, in your face, and you’d ignored every single one of them. Now you sat in an ice cream shop, heartbroken. 

You felt like you were going to be sick. 

“Hey,” Anna called for you in a soft tone, gaining your attention. “It’s going to be alright, you know? I’m not sure how long you two have been together but this? The pain? It never lasts for very long as long as you’re willing to work at it. Now you just have to figure out if you want to stay and work things out or move on.”

In a way, Anna was like an angel. Maybe your guardian angel, if you believed in that sort of thing. She’d quickly become your confidant. Someone you were able to rely on. She seemed trusting enough, and there weren’t alarm bells going off so you decided to take her advice. As for what you were going to do…that was tricky. You had time to think more about it. Right now, though, you just wanted to take time away from him. To do that, you needed to go back to the apartment and get most of your things. Definitely before he got off of work because there was no doubt he was in the process of taking his early leave for the day to catch you before you left. 

You did not want to see him. 

After spending a bit of time with Anna, she took you to the apartment and said that she was going to wait for you downstairs before taking you back to his job for your car. You were thankful because you didn't want to do any of this on your own but you also found it unnecessary to have her come up. Especially if you actually ran into Eren trying to pack things up. 

An argument she didn’t need to be in on, that was for sure.

As you shoved various things in two different duffel bags, you began to get lost in your thoughts. 

So lost that you hadn’t heard the door open and close.

Once both bags were full of stuff you’d need for about two weeks or more, you turned around to check for anything you might’ve missed or didn’t think of and saw Eren leaned up against the frame of the bedroom door, dark thick brows pressed downwards into a frown. Usually, he would’ve looked cute like that but right now, under the current circumstances, he looked…

“Eren.”

“Are you leaving?”

Startled by the obvious, you blinked. 

“I…yeah. I am.”

Then, his frown disappeared like it hadn’t been there in the first place. 

“Okay. For how long?“

Trying to distract yourself from how strange the conversation was beginning to get and the thick tension that hovered in the air, you slung both of the duffel bag straps over your shoulders. Afterwards, you released a sigh, looking at him.

“I don’t know, Eren, but I’ll let you know if and when I come back, k?”

His eyes narrowed slightly and quickly. Too fast for you to prove that it even happened. “If?”

“Yeah. If. Now if you’ll excuse me,” You started walking towards him, muscles tensing under your skin to prepare for him to stop you but as he stood there, arms still crossed, and let you squeeze by him, you were even more confused. But, you gave it little thought. It didn’t matter. None of it did. You just needed to get away. Put some space between you and him. Maybe the distance was going to do him some good. He needed to miss you or maybe figure out whether he wanted you or not. From today's events, you didn’t feel very wanted. So whatever happened, it was about you and how you felt in the end. Hopefully he was going to understand. Then again, if he didn’t…did it matter either way?

When you made it to the front door, you pulled it open and felt it shut close. You whipped around, Eren’s arm hovering at the side of your head, hand still plastered against the door. His expression was unreadable so you couldn’t figure out what was going through his head. 

“Did I tell you that I’m sorry? Because I am.”

Unnerved, you shoved his arm away, “I’m sorry but that means shit to me right now.”

The corner of his lips pulled downward, almost in a half pout, half frown. His green eyes were a little darker than they usually were but maybe it was the bad lighting.

“Hm. So you don’t care? That I’m sorry?”

Frowning now, and highly frustrated, you huffed, “I don’t. Not right now. I just need space, Eren. Spa-ce. Know what that means?” His eyebrows twitched. “Means, I need to get the hell away from you before I make a decision I’ll probably regret later on. Now move,” you turned around and opened the door again. When you scooted back, you bumped into his chest, intentionally using it as a way to tell him to move back. He did, and shoved his hands in the pockets of his work pants, staring at you with a look of boredom now. 

You walked back out into the cool late afternoon air, feeling able to breathe again. The apartment had felt so stifling. 

Eren stayed in the doorway and leaned his shoulder against the doorframe, eyes boring into the back of your head. When you turned and locked eyes with him, you caught a bit of amusement in them.

It chipped at your nerves for some reason. Like he was proud of what he did. When you’d caught him in the act, he looked heartbroken. The Eren that was looking at you now wasn’t the same person. Couldn’t be. This Eren looked like he’d executed his plan just as he wanted and the outcome was how he predicted it’d go. Like he wasn’t going to miss you while you were away. 

It pissed you off.

“What if I don’t come back?”

He shrugged. “You will.”

“You don’t know that.”

He smirked. “Mmm, but I do. Most of your stuff is still here, are they not?” His hypnotizing eyes flickered to one of the bags on your shoulder, “Couldn’t have possibly packed it all away in those bags of yours.”

Your nostrils flared. He was right but still. 

“Don’t call me. Don’t text me. Nothing. I don’t wanna hear from you. I don’t even want to see you until I’m good and ready. Got it?”

He didn’t respond. He just lifted a hand to his forehead and gave you a mocking salute, smirk still on his lips. 

It only upset you further so for the betterment of your sanity, you stomped down the hall, towards the stairs. The more distance you put between him and yourself, the better. 

Once you put your bags in the back seat of Anna’s car, you slipped into the passenger seat and closed the door, being mindful to not slam it even though you were definitely angry enough to do it.

You were silent as you clicked on your seatbelt, mentally punching Eren’s sickeningly pretty face in as she watched you. 

Anna blinked, looked out her window towards the entrance you walked out of, and winced. Yeah this was going to be a nasty breakup, she could feel it. Good thing she’d placed herself right in the middle of it all. 

Not like her job wasn’t hanging in the balance or anything, no.

Course not.

With a small sigh, she pressed the ‘push to start’ button and felt the car purr to life.

“Woe is me.”

↳ end note from syn ; ༄ if this seemed fast, ignore it bc the next chapter is going to be prepared better, i promise;( anyways, part two’s coming soon! tysm for reading! ୧

© all content belongs to temptedbysyn 2022. do not modify or translate without permission.

— 𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 : 𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐫

cw: fem!reader. infedelity/cheating + unprotected sex, handjobs, kissing, hickeys, oral sex, praising. strangers->lovers with a hint of angst. toxic relationship (?) with floch. i wrote part one earlier, but revamped it. and changed it around hehe

˗ˏˋ ࿐ྂ seeking out eren was initially a dare; but things got real quickly.

PART ONE -- this fic is LONG. like 9.3k words. part two will be linked at the bottom.

“Wait, so you did what?” 

You shamefully covered your face with two hands as you retell the story on how you chickened out with Floch. 

Yesterday was a complete failure, a disaster at that. You couldn’t tell what went wrong, or recount what exactly was going through your head and causing you to stop. But you did—unhooking your hands from Floch’s neck, reaching down to pull his hands up and out of your shorts from where he was touching you.

Floch looks down at you, confused, as he watches you sit up slowly, causing him to sit back onto his knees. 

“What’s the matter?”

“Nothing.”

“So…why’d you stop?”

You wish you could answer.  You wish you could tell him it’s not his fault. It’s yours. Everything was going so well; infact, this was the furthest you’ve gone with Floch. Whenever he comes over (or you go to his), you try your best to keep things PG, not ready to go all the way yet. But he ignores your advances, always touching you a bit too much during a movie, or standing way too close behind you to ensure you could feel his hard-on. 

It makes you so uncomfortable. And you’re sure he’s getting sick of you always avoiding his advances. He’s a very short tempered person, and you’re just waiting for the day he snaps, probably calls you a slut for leading him on or something. You’re waiting for it.

A part of you doesn’t blame him. You’d been “together” for almost five months, and you both haven’t even gotten past first base.

You stiffen when you feel his fingers trail up your thighs, stopping just above your pussy, looking at you for approval to continue. “Did I do something wrong?”

You try to look down at his hand just inches above your pussy, but you don’t get the oppurtunity too—his spare hand already forcing you to look into his eyes instead. You swallow hard before shaking your head.

“So, if I didn’t do anything wrong, why’d you stop? Don’t you wanna go further—” The second you feel his fingers start moving again, you’re off the bed, scrambling out of the sheets so fast. You don’t even look back as you leave his bedroom, running down the stairs to grab your shoes by the front door. 

You had to leave his house before the embarrassment truly hit you. It crept up on you hours later in bed, causing you to groan loud into your pillow. What was wrong with you? Why did you find it so hard to do anything with Floch, that didn’t involve watching Netflix. 

You wanted to experience what every other girl that’s lost their virginity went through, wanted to explore that feeling you see in porn, wanted someone to go down on you and have your body played with like in your dreams.

But you just weren’t ready.

And everyone else was.

“Damn, that sucks.” Hitch shakes her head at you, “I don’t really blame you though, I wouldn’t wanna lose my virg to someone like Floch.” Hitch rolls her eyes and leans back against the staircase, “He’s creepy.”

“He’s not…he’s sweet?” 

“Why’d you say sweet like that?”

“Like what?”

“Nevermind.” Hitch says before rubbing her temples, racking her brain to help you think of something to fix your problems. Hitch had already lost her virginity during freshman year, it was a mistake, but it felt nice and whenever you have questions about sex she’s willing to tell you about it. When she thinks back on it, she lost her virginity to an ugly dude when she was desperate at a party. It was truly a mistake, but the next time she had sex, the guy was midly attractive and it suddenly felt a lot better.

(She regards the fact that sex feels better based on the individual and their skills, not just their looks).

“I know! I can fix your problem!” You flick your eyes up to her, raising a single brow to get her to continue talking. “You need to lose your virginity to a sexy dude.”

“Floch is se—”

“No. He’s a redhead and he’s straight up hideous. You need to lose it to someone hotter. Then you’ll feel more confident with Floch. I guarantee it.” Hitch nods to herself like her plan is bulletproof, like there isn’t many holes with it. 

“First of all, I’m dating Floch, so me fucking someone else is cheating. Secondly, there’s nothing wrong with redheads! Floch is actually really sweet—” You think back on all the times he’s cussed out people for walking too close to him, to the times he got mad at the teacher for not marking his work correctly, how rudely he bosses people around him, how he sometimes sabotages his basketball games by shoving his oppentens a little too hard which causes him to get benched— “Okay, well, he’s nice to me.”

“Yeah…okay.” Hitch rolls her eyes, “it’s not cheating, if you guys aren’t together. When’s your anniversary?”

You clamp your lips shut, folding in on yourself because you came to the realisation that you don’t have one. Why? Because he’s never asked you out. 

“I…I don’t know.”

“Exactly!!!! Which is why you should fuck someone else! Like, like—uh— that hot blonde-nerd in our biology class, Armin? I think, ORRR his best friend, Eren. Yeah. Definitely, Eren. He’s so hot.” Hitch practically had hearts over her eyes as her brain replayed the memory of Eren taking off his hoodie in class, his shirt underneath getting attached to the hoodie as he lifted it off, giving everybody a glimpse of his toned body.

(Hitch almost had a nosebleed that day. You told her to calm down, but that sight was burnt into your retinas that night).

Armin was cool, you’ve spoken to him a couple times because you’d been put together in groups. But you don’t really think he’s hot, or well, according to Hitch’s lame ass theory, “attractive” enough to make you more comfortable with losing your virginity. 

Eren on the other hand—well, he’s Eren.

But like hell, you’d ask someone like him. He’d probably just ignore you. It causes you to laugh at the sheer audacity of Hitch’s proposal. 

“What’s so funny, [Name], I was being serious!” Hitch almost feels offended when you laugh even harder, the snort leaving your nose at the sheer absurdity of the idea.

“You’re serious!?” You hold a finger up, another loud laugh escaping your mouth. The two of you were too busy laughing and sulking at each other, that you didn’t notice the doors open in the hallway, a group of three boys entering inside, talking loudly. “Let me get this straight,” you wipe at the tear on your eye, “You just want me, to walk up to Eren Yeager and ask him to—”

“Ask me what?” 

Hitch’s eyes go wide and her jaw drops because she recognises that voice. You press your lips into a thin line at the realization that you fucked up. You don’t even need to turn your head to the side to see him staring at you—those piercing green eyes practically boring into your skull, awaiting your answer as to why two random girls he’s never seen before are gossiping about him.

You face your fears, turning your head to the side, slowly, praying that another dude inside your college was called Eren Yeager. Highly unlikely, but it’s worth a shot. You’re immedieately met with green, tired, eyes staring at you, one brow raised in mock confusion as he waits for someone—anyone to speak up. 

His three friends next to him, you recognise them as Connie, Jean and Armin, are looking at each other awkwardly and their stares make you want to run over to the window and launch yourself out of it, despite being three floors high. 

Eren is starting to get annoyed, his face flattens and you get scared. Armin, tugs his sleeve and shakes his head. The both of them mentally comminucate for a second before he sighs loudly and the four of them continue down the hall. 

Hitch breaks out of her frozen state and crawls over to where you’re sitting on the opposite side of the staircase, repeatedly tapping your thigh, telling you to go ask him now. 

“Are you insane!? No!” You shove her hands off you but she’s grabbing at your collar, practically begging you. This is your only opportunity to lose your virginity. You look at her like she’s crazy, but know that she won’t ever leave you alone about it, if you manage to fuck up this chance forever.

So you sigh and stand up, dusting off your clothes. Just as you’re about to step down from the staircase you were sitting on, you freeze up. Realising just what you’re about to do.

You’re about to ask, Eren, if he could sleep with you. 

You.

A random girl, he’s never interacted with, or even knows the name of.

You can’t do it.

You turn to face Hitch and slowly shake your head, about to sit back down before she pushes you making you lose your balance and you stumble down the stairs, bracing yourself against the wall just before you manage to crack your skull. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Hitch!?” You don’t realise you’re yelling, until you can hear the echo of your voice throughout the hall, as well as the footsteps a couple feet down the hall come to a halt. 

They haven’t left the hallway yet…

You shrink in on yourself as you look down the hall, seeing all four boys looking at you, once more. Eren still has that confused, annoyed look on his face. Armin looks more concerned at your safety. Connie bites his lip to try to stop himself from laughing obnoxiously and Jean is similar to Eren, a brow raised up in confusion.

You want to die.

It’s now or never, you think. “Uhhh—Eren, can I speak to you? Please?”

What the fuck are you doing? Go back up the staircase and eat your lunch. Your brain is screaming at you, to stop, tell Eren, it was a mistake and move on with your day, but Eren is already answering before you could take it back. 

“Sure?”

You meant to tell him that you wanted to speak to him alone, but he clearly didn’t grab the hint. His hand is gripping firmly onto the strap of his bag, holding it upright as the other end hangs off his shoulder. 

You take a couple steps forward before clearing your throat. “Talk with you alone, please.” You mildly gesture towards his group of friends who’ve been quietly eavesdropping the entire time.

Eren, nicely enough, doesn’t argue, instead, he looks back at his friends, gesturing to them to leave without him. They mumble something to each other before walking out, Armin, stops for a moment to wave at the both of you before jogging to catch up to his taller friends.

He waits until the door on the other end of the hallway shuts before crossing the distance between you both. You look over your shoulder one more time at Hitch, who’s grinning at you and holding two thumbs up. You wish you could just strangle her.

If you thought Eren was intimdating before, upclose is evern worse. You can’t take your eyes off his face despite how hard it is to keep eye contact with him. He  was much prettier than you’d thought. Normally, whenever you see him, it’s always been from a distance. Last year, when you were first years in college, he was in your English class but he sat on the other end of the classroom, still seated on your row, but was by the window. 

Whenever you wanted to distract yourself from class and glance out the window, he was always blocking the view, his side profile coming into your field of vision as he lazily chewed the lid of his pen the entire lesson. It was that day you thought his side profile was pretty and stared at it more often whenever you needed that distraction.

You’d see him from a distance around town, the back of his figure entering a store with his loud group of friends, during his basketball matches, he’s always on the court. 

This was the first time you’re actually seeing him. Face to face. No side profiles, no backs—just his green eyes (or it is turquoise)? You’ve never noticed how pretty his eyes are upclose, everything about him was pretty. He’s still so intimdating, you think, and the silence is making you realise that he’s been waiting for you to speak up all this time.

“So…what do you want?” His voice is slow and lazy and you hate how it does something to your insides, the sheer bass of his voice is making you dizzy. 

“I wanted to ask you something—don’t think I’m weird, or anything, but uh—” You can’t believe you’re doing this. You hear some shuffling from the stairs—that bitch Hitch is most defiently leaning over the railing just to get a better look at the both of you. “Could you maybe…teach me how—” Shit. How are you supposed to phrase this? 

“Teach? I’m not really the best when it comes to academics—”

Fuck it.

“You’d had sex before right?” You blurt out without thinking and Eren almost chokes on his sentence. Honestly, he had no clue what he was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t that.

“What’s it to you?”

You can’t help but groan to yourself, hoping that he woud’ve understood what you were implying without having to embarrass yourself and actually say it. “C-could you…help me?”

Eren blinks a couple times, his grip on his bag strap falls, hand dropping to his side and you watch as he stuffs them in his pockets. His brain is scrambled trying to process what exactly you’re trying to ask him here. “So…you want me-” He points at himself, “to teach you-” He points at you, “how to have sex?”

Your silence is the answer. 

“Oh.” Eren breathes out, his voice dropping a little—

You close your eyes, waiting for his laugh, waiting for him to call you a weirdo. Or you’re waiting for him to just walk away. That’ll be the best option. You’d embarrassed yourself enough, it’s best to just drop everything and never bring it up again.

“—Sure, I guess.”

Now it’s your turn to choke, peeking an eye open to see if this is Eren or just a hologram your brain created in a short moment to try and alleviate the awkwardness in the room. “What?!”

“Why so shocked? You asked me to.” Eren raises a brow at you.

“Yeah, but—I-I thought you’d say no! Like, you don’t even know my name?!” There’s no way this is happening right now. You pinch at your arm gently, wincing when your nail digs into your skin, reassuring you that this is real, Eren isn’t a hologram and you’re really about to have a personal sex-education class with him.

“So tell me your name.” He shrugs.

You hesitate for a second, wondering if this is some sick joke. He’d ask for your name, tell his friends that [Name] asked him to fuck you, the word will spread because his friends (cough Connie) have the biggest mouths in school—it’ll reach Floch, he’d slut shame you and call you a slut and you’d be all alone and ridiculed for being a desperate virgin slut for your entire college life.

Sounds about right.

Hitch can tell you’re overthinking in your head because the silence has gone on for way too long, so she leans past the railing to get Eren’s attention. “Her name is [Name]!”

“HITCH?!” You turn to yell at her, but are stopped when you hear Eren hum, repeating your name under his breath a couple times to hear how it sounds. He decided he likes it. “Cool name.”

“T-thanks?”

“Gimme your number, we can arrange something.”

You mindlessly watch Eren pull out his phone and you start reciting the numbers of your phone letter, watching as he inputs each number in carefully, before naming the contact [Name]. 

“Alright, I’ll see you both later.” Eren gives you and Hitch a small effort of a wave before he’s out the door a couple seconds later. You walk back over to the staircase, Hitch is all jittery, too excited at the fact that you were going to lose your virginity to Eren Yeager.

The entire day, she’s giving you tips about your pussy and what you should eat before hand, don’t be stupid like her and spray perfume on your pussy just moments after you shaved—stupid shit like that. And you’re left nodding your head to everything she’s saying because your brain is in another dimension, trying your hardest to prove that this is real.

You still don’t believe it. 

You see Eren a couple more times that day around the school. He acknowledges you, giving you a nod but doesn’t actually talk to you. It’s not until you get home that you freak out and scream into your pillow.

You’re on the phone with Hitch as you get ready for bed, the time on your phone is approx 11:32PM. It’s the weekend tomorrow, so you’re not necessarily worried about waking up too late. Yawning loud as you spin around your vanity chair, looking up at the white ceiling as you listen to Hitch ramble on and on about some girl she argued with during class today. 

“Her name was fucking Annie. Who even names their child Annie—like she was so annoying with her snide remarks everytime I spoke. Who the fuck does she think she is?” Hitch huffs her cheeks out with a pout and readjusts her camera so you can see the ceiling instead. “Helloooooo?! Are you listening to me or did you fall asleep?”

“I’m listening…I just—no offence, I don’t care about Annie and her remarks. I’m tired.”

“Well, what else do you want to talk about?” 

Just as you were about to answer, a notification popped up at the top of your phone, a message from an unknown number saying ‘Hey’. You furrow your brows, grabbing your phone rough enough that the camera shakes a little bit and click on the notification.

YOU: who is this????????

“Hitch—a random number just texted me.”

“What’d they say?”

“Hey.” You watch as the little buble shows three dots before another message comes through. You gasp loudly, dropping the phone on your desk as you read the name. The thud causes Hitch to sit up.

“What?! Who is it?! What happe—”

“It’s fucking EREN!” Hitch gasps loudly, a deep sound that startles you but you choose to ignore it as you stare down at the message, wondering what to type next. 

YOU: oh. Hi eren

You blink a couple times, making sure the message is real and not just your brain playing tricks on you from the lack of sleep. You had forced yourself to forget all about the events that occurred earlier today, wanting to disconnect your memories from the sheer embarrassment of asking a boy you never had a proper one-on-one conversation with him.

“Soooo…what’d he say? What’s going on? Give me LIVE updates, you bitch!” Hitch is shaking with nerves on her bed, patiently awaiting your response.

EREN: hey, so do u wanna come over now?

Fuck.

“He just asked me to come over….” 

“OHMYG—”

You drown out Hitch’s voice as you look down at your keyboard, watching your fingers tremble against the keyboard as you think of a response. You’re not ready yet. It’s barely even been 24 hours since you made that deal with him. 

YOU: now? Like rn? This second?

Eren responds in no time.

EREN: yeah? lmao if you want

YOU: ok

“[NAME], TALK TO ME! YOU’VE BEEN SILENT FOR AGES!” Hitch is practically screaming through the phone and you take a screenshot urgently and send it to your messages with Hitch. You assume she’s read it all because she screams loud over the phone. “[NAME] GO OVER NOW.”

Before you even have time to respond, tell her you’re not ready, she’s already hung up the phone. You know she won’t respond to any messages or calls you send her unless you go over there, so you sigh and head over to your closet to change into something that wasn’t your pyjamas.

Your phone rings once more by your desk, and you go to pick it up, realising it’s Eren again sending over his dorm number and block. You had a feeling he wasn’t in your Block, because you’d never seen him around, only on campus. 

You’re pulling up to his dorm, eyes darting back and forth between the text he sent you and the big number 12 on the front of his door, just to make sure you’re at the right place. It takes two knocks before he’s already at the door, his hair tied up messily behind his head in a manbun, a couple strands dangling over the sides of his face as his tired eyes somehow look even more exhausted as he steps aside to let you in.

The door clicks shut and he leans back against it as he looks at you. This is sorta awkward. “ ‘Kay, so how’re we gonna do this?”

It’s when you both realise that neither of you have thought this through. How do you even initiate something like this? What do you say? How do you begin? All these questions run through your head as you look over at Eren and shrug your shoulders. 

Eren raises his brows, amused, for a moment then drops them and gives you a slight smile when you say, “I thought you might know.”

“This was your idea?” 

“I know…” You prefer to look down at the carpet, taking in the nice shade of brown. You have no clue what to say. You hear footsteps before Eren is taking a few steps in front of you. Your breath hitches when his hand grazes your hand before holding it. You mindlessly follow him as he leads you over to his bedroom.

“So,” Eren takes a seat on his gaming chair, spinning it around to face you as you pat down his bedsheets before sitting on it, “Why’re you doing this? First of all, I’ma need some context.”

“I—You know Floch, right?” Eren nods his head, his chair squeaks when he leans back against it, ready to listen to your story. “Well…he’s sorta my boyfriend? I think?”

“Him? Oh wow.” You can’t help but raise a brow at his tone, almost like he sounds shocked. You’re not sure if he was shocked someone like you managed to get with someone like Floch, or if it was the other way round.

“Why ‘wow’? What’s shocking about that?”

Eren can see your brows shift a little, almost like you’re getting annoyed, then he realises that what he said could easily be misinterpreted. “No! Wait, I never meant it like that—I was more like ‘wow Floch managed to get a girlfriend’, I never saw him the type, s’all”

“Oh.” Yeah, you presume that makes more sense. After all, Eren does know Floch well since they’re on the same basketball team. “Yeah, well, he’s never actually asked me out, but he treats me like his girlfriend? So I guess I am?”

“He never…asked you out?”?

“Nope. He doesn’t like labels.” The way you’re admitting this publicly should make you feel embarrassed. Eren already feels that embarrasment and his brain gets to work, thinking. From what Eren knows about Floch, he’s a bastard, uses people to get whatever he wants, and is straight up rude. It’s surprising at first, that Floch managed to get someone as pretty as you, but the more you’re talking, Eren realises why exactly Floch chose you.

For one, you’re completely oblivious to his manipulative tendencies, you’re easy to use and you’re innocent. 

Eren almost feels bad for you. “Alright, so ‘boyfriend Floch’, what does this have to do with me?”

Now you have to get to the hard part. “So…whenever I’m with him…he’s always making moves on me, but I’m not ready yet, I don’t know what it is but whenever he touches me I just freak out but I want to do it so badly. It’s complicated.”

“I’m guessing you’re a virgin right?” You nod your head and Eren leans forward, bracing his elbows on his knees and looks at you. “It happens, first time jitters. Not that deep.”

“But it’s not first time. It’s like, maybe…thirteenth time jitters—So my friend told me to ask someone to help me…and she said you—which is why I said your name earlier and why I’m here right now.” The moment the explanation left your mouth, you actually realised how stupid you sound and you’d never wanted to take back something more in your life.

Eren laughs, a deep sound that makes you sit up straight. “Alright, I’ll help you.” The chair creaks once more when he stands up and you shift further back onto his bed, back hitting the wall as he sits in front of you. It’s now that you realise how dark it is in the room, his green eyes seem to be more illuminated with the lack of light. “Have you only done first base?”

You nod your head slowly.

“Alright, kiss your hand, lemme see you.” Eren sits back and waits. You look up at him, confused.

“That--that’s so embarrassing—”

He shrugs and gestures towards your hand. You realise he’s not backing down so you bring the palm of your hand up to your face. You look at him once more, and realise his eyes are trained on your lips, not your face. Looking back down at your palm, you sigh and shake your head. “I can’t do it.”

Eren leans forward once more until his forehead brushes yours. “So you won’t freak out if I kiss you, right?”

You will. 

You definitely will.

But you exhale before shaking your head.

“Good.” Eren closes the gap between you, a soft peck of his lips against yours that had you melting underneath him. He pulls away fast to look at you, just to make sure everything is okay. “You’re so tense, [Name], relax.” 

You close your eyes, exhaling deeply to alleviate all tension from your body. Suddenly feeling a bit more confident, you lean in this time and his hand instantly comes up to slide against your cheek. His hands were so warm, the heat emitting from the skin of his palm had your body heating up with the want for more. Eren groans into your mouth when he feels your hand grip onto his shirt for more leverage.

The kiss is still a little awkward, he thinks, but it’s better than last time. He pulls away briefly to mumble against your lips. “Pretend I’m him, okay? Kiss me like you kiss him.” 

Him, refers to Floch obviously, and it gives you a bit more confidence if you pretend rather than allow your brain to comprehend the fact you’re kissing Eren Yeager. With that, you lean back in, your hands come off from his shirt to reach for his face, cupping his cheeks as you kiss him a little bit deeper. 

Eren smiles into the kiss, seeing you finally relaxed and lost all that tension from before. You’re not actually a bad kisser, he realises that once he feels your tongue slide against his bottom lip. But it’s a shame you’re kissing Eren, a natural tease. He doesn’t allow you to slide it in, instead, he slides his hands down to your waist to lift you off the bed into a laying position.

You open your eyes and gasp at the sudden switch in position, bracing your hands on his shoulders as he hovers over you. He doesn’t give you a second to breathe because his lips are back on yours. The kiss from this angle has your hands sliding from his shoulders to the back of his hair, scratching gently at the hairs on the back of his head. 

The loose hairs from his hair tickle your forehead when he tilts his head to the right, nose brushing against your own to angle your face to the perfect position. Your hand on his head goes higher until you accidentally brush against the point where his hair is tied up. You realise he’s not wearing a hairtie, instead tying his hair with his own hair in a make belief hair tie.

His hair falls over his face, making him pull away from the kiss to brush it away. You sit up on your shoulders and apologise before you take a moment to admire the view. Through the darkness of the room, there’s an obvious pink hue on his cheeks as he tries to fix his hair. 

Eren sighs when he realises he can’t retie it the way it was last time because of the darkness in the room, so he moves the hair from his face out of the way before leaning back down. “You still okay?”  He mumbles, waiting for the go-to before he kisses you again.

You nod your head a bit too fast and cringe at how eager you are to get his lips back on yours. Eren chuckles against your mouth, his lips creating some sort of vibration that goes straight down your spine, causing you to arch your back upwards to his chest slightly when he leads with his tongue this time.

You’d never been a huge fan of tongue kissing, mainly because Floch overdid it way too much—like he was trying to suffocate you with his tongue rather than kiss you. So, of course you were a bit hesitant when Eren led with his tongue this time, about to say something before you felt his tongue brush against yours, the flick of his tongue as he licks into your mouth all slow and sensual. 

It has a strange noise leaving your lips, one that you don’t realise you made until Eren groans, pushing a knee between your legs slightly to open them up for him more. His hand placed next to your head slides underneath your hair to lift your head up more while his other hand travels downwards to your waist.

The room is filled with sloppy kissing noises as well as the low hums coming from his mouth whenever you moan into the kiss. You could feel his fingerprints imprinting your skin, the heat of his fingers as they slipped underneath your shirt to slide against your waist. 

A part of you wants him to go further down. Wants him to touch you down there in the way you’ve craved all along, but you think it’s too early for that. 

You realise the difference between Floch and Eren, just from this kiss alone. Eren kisses with a purpose, a passion to make his partner melt underneath him and his touches. Floch kisses to prove a point, to assert his dominance and get you to sleep with him. His kisses were rough and way too sloppy for your liking.

You left Eren’s dorm that night, satisfied and a bit more confident. Next time you’re with Floch, you’ll tell him to be more gentle.

Let’s just hope he takes it the right way.

Eren hasn’t been in school all week. You thought maybe he’d been avoiding you, but you don’t think that small make out session last week was enough to scare him off.

Unless you were a really horrible kisser.

It had you overthinking all week, but then early this morning, around 4AM, you couldn’t sleep properly, so you trekked all the way downstairs to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee. If you were going to stay up, you might aswell do homework, right?

From the window in front of you, while you were washing a mug, you saw a coach bus pull outside the school. It was then you saw the entire basketball team exit the bus with their belongings that you remembered that Floch and Eren too had to leave the state for a tournament. Which explains the lack of Eren in school. You sigh in relief when you realise that he wasn’t actually avoiding you.

It was noisy outside. Their loud voices almost woke everybody up until their basketball coach screamed at them to shut up and enter the premises quietly. 

It was pretty easy to spot Eren, being one of the tallest members in the team and if you thought he looked tired normally, you weren’t ready for actual tired Eren. His walk was sluggish and slow, eyes could barely even open themselves to see where he was going. If it wasn’t for Armin helping him out, leading him away from the block you were in (Block A) to Block D, then you’re certain Eren would’ve fallen over. 

You saw Floch from the corner of your eye walking behind the rest of the team on his phone. You were about to drop the mug and go over to hug him or something, but you saw him smiling down at his phone and he entered Block C instead of Block A.

You spoke to Hitch that morning, telling her that Floch went to another Block at 4AM in the morning and was smiling down at his phone the entire time and she reassured you its probably nothing, despite having the feeling something was going on with him. It was odd enough he didn’t even tell you about this week long basketball tournament which as his girlfriend, you had a right to know; and now this? 

You shrugged it off, sending him a text to see when you can next link up with him. He responded two days later, which made you annoyed because you know damn well he ain’t that busy to ignore your texts for 2 whole days. But he said you could come over tonight.

Ever since your night with Eren, you were feeling much more confident about losing your virginity. Tonight was the night. You were sure of it. 

The second you stepped through the door, Floch was already on you. His hands on your hips as he made out with you a little too roughly. You had gotten used to it before, but since kissing Eren—you realised you don’t like this type of kissing.

“W-wait, Floch.” You have to push yourself away from his hard grip in order for him to stop. He’s panting, breathlessly, his chest heaving a bit too quickly for someone who’s only been kissing you for like what…30 seconds?

“What? What’s the matter?” He looks down at your hands as you place them on his shoulder, tracing your finger down his shirt slowly.

“How about…we take things slow? Yeah? Kiss me slowly, we have all the time in the world.” You had hoped you phrased it right, even dropping your voice to a mere whisper, hoping it came off as more seductive. 

Floch blinks at you a couple seconds, unsure if you’re trying to insult his kissing style. But he nods his head regardless. “Alright, slow right?” He drops his forehead against yours, looking down at you while he intertwines your fingers together.

“Mhm, slow.” You let go of his hands to wrap about his shoulders, leaning upwards to kiss him slowly. You kiss him like you had kissed Eren those nights ago, even picturing Eren’s soft lips against yours. Floch slides his hands underneath your thighs to pick you up and he slowly places you onto the couch, hovering over you as he leans down to your collarbone and kisses your neck.

You’re ready. You’re so ready. You’ve mentally prepared for this all week—

Floch shoves his hand down your leggings and presses a thumb against your clit a bit too quickly for your liking.

—you yelp and push him away gently, shaking your head. Floch looks up at you, with a raised brow and you take a moment before speaking. “Don’t just—do it so fast! Give me a warning, or something.”

“What, are you scared?” Floch places both hands beside your head, locking you in place underneath him on the couch. “Never been touched down there before? Right?”

Your eyebrows quiver as you look up at the boy, who looks like he wants to devour you, now knowing you’re a total untouched virgin. It’s different now. Before, he knew you were a virgin, but at least some girls had been fingered, or something. 

He figured out you were a virgin whenever he tried to fuck you but you always made excuses. He didn’t know why he chose you, but he’d always had a knack for these things—picking out the perfect girl to use—and now his suspicions have been confirmed.

Fuck, he was gonna have fun with you.

But it’s too soon. He doesn’t want to scare you away. So he sighs, leaning back onto the couch. You watch as he grabs the remote and turns the TV on. 

You can’t help but feel like you’ve disappointed him.

 “Floch?”

“Hm?” He hums, eyes focused on the TV, not even bothered to spare you a glance. Your frown deepens.

“Are you mad at me?” You sit up and move next to him, placing an arm on his shoulder to be as close to him as possible. Floch doesn’t respond, instead he just continues flicking through the channels. You let out a huff of defeat, realising you’re getting the famous silent treatment. Floch doesn’t stop you when you stand up from the couch and head straight out the door, feeling like a failure.

On your way out from his dorm, you’re about to head back to your own, until you take a moment and think. You want to please Floch, but he scares you—so maybe…if Eren (someone that makes you feel more relaxed and comfortable) teaches you again, then you’d be able to be more confident and will be able to please Floch.

Makes sense, right?

Yeah….

Your feet are moving towards the elevator and mindlessly head over towards Eren’s place. He won’t lie and say he wasn’t a bit surprised when he heard a knock on his door, and you were also surprised when you saw his room was filled with his friends. Eren was tall enough to reach the door, placing a hand atop the frame he looked down at you a little confused to see you here. “Hey, why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”

“I—uh, I don’t know. I just came here on impulse. But you’re busy…so I’ll come back later.” You were so ready to leave and go back home, but his hand reached out, stopping you before you could head any further into the hallway. 

“No—it’s fine. You can stay. As long as you don’t mind my loud ass friends.” He chuckles slowly, making you smile. 

As if to prove a point, one of said ‘loud’ friends screams, “IS THAT THE PIZZA GUY?”

Eren clicks his tongue before wrapping an arm around your shoulder, keeping you close to him as you enter his place. It looks much more different than the last time you saw it. Maybe because it was dark that time, but it seems bigger now. You recognise Armin, with earbuds in his ears, sitting on the far end of the couch, closing his eyes trying to drown out the noise of his friends.

You don’t blame him, you just entered and your ears are already bleeding internally. There’s loud music blasting from a tiny speaker sitting beside Connie’s feet. 

“Yeah, cause she definitely looks like the pizza guy.” Eren’s voice is laced with sarcasm as he brings you over towards the couch, patting the seat beside him.

 “She could be a pizza girl, dumbass.” Connie squints his eyes, rubs them a couple times before getting a better look at you. Connie winces when Eren smacks him on the head.

“She’s not a fucking pizza guy or girl.”

“Then who is she?!” You can’t help but fidget in your seat as Connie loudly debates your entire existence. You know he probably doesn’t mean much harm, afterall his eyes are red as hell so you think he’s under some sort of influence. But it still hurts that he doesn’t really remember you despite that altercation in the hallway last week. 

At the same time, it makes you feel at ease, knowing your existence isn’t important to guys like these, meaning you could stop feeling embarrassed over the situation last week. 

At least that’s some closure.

“I know her, she’s the girl we saw in the hallway, right?” Armin’s sweet voice speaks up, having heard the entire loud conversation through his earbuds. He might as well just remove them at this rate, they aren’t helping.

“I see a lot of girls in hallways, dude. You have to be more specific.” Connie reaches past Eren to tap at your shoulder. “What’s your name?”

You clear your throat. “It’s—”

“[Name], you don’t have to tell him if you don’t want to.” Eren is looking at you in a serious way, his face is slack like he’s not playing games.

“I appreciate your kindness, Eren,” You place your hand on his arm, “but you sorta just told him my name.” Your lips quirk up into a smile as you let out a breathless laugh at his failed attempt of keeping your identity hidden.

“So your name is [Name]. Why does that sound familiar?” Connie taps at his chin as he thinks, trying to figure out where he’s heard your name before.

“It might be because of Floch?” You question and there’s a part of you hoping that Floch even mentioned you to his friends the same way you mention him to yours. When Connie looks at you confused that you even brought up Floch to begin with, all hope is lost.

“Floch? Why would it be because of that dickhead?”

“She’s dating him, dude.” Eren cuts in and Connie’s eyes widen a bunch, his red eyes on display even more now.

“What?! He managed to get a girlfriend before me!?”

“I told you, it’s cause of that haircut.” Eren tugs at Connie’s short hair and Connie is quick to slap his hands away.

“Fuck you. My hair is perfect. Floch on the other hand—what the hell!? How did he manage to date you?!” Connie makes an overexaggarated gesture at your body and you don’t know whether or not to be offended or flattered. 

“You don’t like Floch?” You meekly ask and everyone in the room groans, including Armin which says a lot. 

“Fuck no, man. He’s always ruining shit for us.” Eren clicks his tongue as he remembers the amount of times they’ve been so close to disqualification because Floch always played too rough with the other team on the court. All the times Floch would snitch to the coach that Connie was hiding weed in his locker. You listen with wide eyes to each of their stories, surprised that even Armin had his own sort of hatred towards the redhaired. 

Connie eventually turned the music down, making Armin relieved as  he went over to the kitchen to make something to eat since the pizza guy had gotten lost and refunded them the food. It was a disappointment because Connie read online somewhere that eating pizza while high was a whole different experience. 

(You thought it was bullshit but didn’t want to crush his dreams).

You initially had ended up going there to ask Eren to help you out with Floch, but the more time you spent with him and his friends, it made you realise you just enjoyed the company instead. It was getting late outside, the sun finally setting and the moon taking over. 

Connie left, leaving Eren’s place a total mess. Armin was staying over that night to help Eren clean up the mess that Connie left.

“Do you want me to walk you back?” Eren asks as he followed you to the door to collect your jacket. Your arm froze in midair as you heard him ask the question. It caught you a bit off guard. Though you were having so much fun today with Eren, it was with multiple people. Being alone with him, the thought alone just makes you nervous.

“No, it’s alright! I’m okay.” You give him the warmest of smiles you could make as you tug your arm through your jacket sleeves. 

Eren leans back against the wall as he watches you zip up your jacket, thinking it’s a bit cute how the jacket looked a bit too big on you, how it looked too puffy and how it looked like it was about to swallow you whole.

“You sure?” 

“I’m sure—”

“Too bad, c’mon.” His arm is back around your back, ushering you away from the door, telling Armin he’d be right back.

“So, any reason why you magically showed up at my door earlier?” Eren brings up the moment you bring out your keys to open your dorm. 

“Well—” You turn to face him as he’s leaning against your door. “It was about Floch.”

“What about him?”

“He—I don’t know. He just made me uncomfortable…and I didn’t know if I was supposed to feel that way. Then he got mad at me because I chickened out again, gave me the silent treatment, and shit—”

Eren can’t help but love the way you speak, you’re so animated even when you’re talking about something upsetting. The keys jingle everytime you make a movement with your hands as you speak and it's not until you look up at him, awaiting a response , that he snaps back to reality.

“He made you uncomfortable?” You nod your head. “Shit, did he hurt you or—”

“No, no! He didn’t, he wouldn’t do that to me.” You say sheepishly, scratching the back of your head. “He just went way too fast for me and I liked it…slow…like with you.”

“Oh? You liked it when I kissed you?” 

You can see the grin forming on his face, that sneaky little—

“Don’t flatter yourself, Eren. I barely even remembered the kiss.” You hold your head up high, trying your hardest not to crumble underneath his heavy gaze as he lifts himself up from his leaning position to stand in front of you. You feel so small as he hovers atop of you, caging you in between his arms and you’re forced to look up at him.

“Can I remind you?” Eren carefully studies your face, looking for any signs that you’re uncomfortable. He can’t seem to find any, especially when you slowly nod your head. Leaning down, he captures your lips in his, using his grip on your chin to lift you up, making it easier for him.

You reach behind you for the doorknob, gripping onto it and struggling to open the door because Eren’s kisses were already turning you to mush. As if he could tell you were struggling, he reached down, using his bigger hand to completely cover your own before twisting the doorknob. 

You stumble backwards into your place and Eren follows you, kicking the door shut before pressing you up against the wall. You moan when he breaks the kiss, the ticklish feeling on your skin when he moves his face down to your neck. His lips gently graze your skin, searching for the right spot before leaving soft kisses along the column of your throat.

“Eren,” You squeeze at his hair, tugging it hard, eliciting a groan from his lips.

“Yeah? What’s wrong?” He pulls away from your neck, kissing his way up to your lips. His hands holding you up graze your thighs, squeezing them in his grip when you lean forward to kiss him again.

“Couch, please.” You struggle to let the words out, your mind is too foggy, too filled with Eren. He heads down your hallway, placing you gently on the couch before tugging your ankles towards him and opens your legs wide enough to slip his body through your waist and you wrap your legs around his hips, pulling him flush towards your body.

“You okay?” He presses a soft kiss along your neck, pulling a shiver from you, “want anything?”

You unglue your tongue from where it’s been sitting at the roof of your mouth and peek over at him. “What do you mean?”

“I’m your teacher, aren’t I?” Eren hums, keeping his gaze directly on your face while his hand down south gets to moving, tugging at the hem of your shirt and slipping his fingers past to graze your skin. “What do you wanna know?”

“Uhhh—” You let out a shaky exhale when you feel him drum his fingers along the skin of your waist. He bends down to kiss your neck, sucking the skin hard enough you can practically feel the blood rushing to the surface. “God—Eren—” You throw your head back when his tongue darts out to lick just under your jawline, your pulse pulsates on his tongue and he bites down.

“You wanna go to second base?” He mutters along your neck, pressing soft kisses along the skin.

You nod your head and feel Eren’s lips curl up into a smirk when his fingers slowly head down south towards your leggings. Eren remembers what you said earlier, about how Floch went too fast and it made uou uncomfortable. “This okay?” He asks as his fingers hover over the hem of your leggings, hooking a finger through as he waits for the okay.

“Yeah, it’s okay.”

At the confirmation, Eren slowly pulls your leggings down and you shiver when your legs get exposed to the cool air in the room. He bends back down to kiss you, distracting you from where his hands are going and you loop your arms around his shoulders to kiss him better. 

You almost don’t realise his fingers slipping past your panties until you feel them get hooked to the side, exposing your cunt to the cold air. His index finger sensually grazes your clit, rubbing it in slow circles and applying just the right amount of pressure to have you moaning into the kiss.

“That feels okay?” Eren lets his eyes linger along your eyes, continuing his movements when you nod your head and beg him to keep going. He leans down to your collarbone, placing soft pecks along it as his middle finger grazes your entrance. You squeeze your eyes shut when he slowly begins to penetrate it, moving his finger in and out at a slow pace to get you accustomed to the feeling.

You bite at your lip, curling your fingers tighter in the soft hairs  that grace Eren’s neck and you tug him back up to you for another passionate kiss. His tongue swiping against your bottom lip for access into your mouth. The second you let him in, he’s groaning into the kiss, thrusting his fingers a little faster and brings his thumb up to rub your clit.

“I’m cl—close, I think, ‘Ren.” You whisper, a string of spit connecting your mouth and his own. He grins and is quick to lap it up with his tongue and sucks on your bottom lip, sinking his teeth in before pulling away.

“Already?” Eren decides to add another finger and you almost scream at the stretch. He twists his fingers everytime he pulls them out, shoving them back in and grazes his fingers right against your sweet spot. You’d never actually managed to reach it yourself, so this was an entirely new feeling for you, gripping onto the back of his shirt, you squeal and tighten up. Your walls cling to the skin of his fingers and it makes Eren groan.

If you were squeezing the fuck outta his fingers, just imagine his dick. Fuck, he groans into your neck, applying more pressure onto your clit as he enjoys the feeing of you squirming beneath him, moaning into the shell of his ear as you struggle to suppress your voice when you feel your g-spot being stimulated from two fronts. “Ah, fuck, fuck! Ere—” You don’t even get to finish his name because he’s pressing his lips onto yours, shoving the length of his tongue to push your moans back down your throat. 

“You’re gonna wake up everyone,” Eren chuckles against your lips as he feels his fingers being soaked by your cum. Eren looks down to where his fingers are shoved deep inside you, taking a moment before he wriggles them out. You watch as he brings his fingers out and how they’re completely drenched in your moisture. 

Your eyes widen, lips parted in shock when he begins to lap up his fingers, closing his eyes to enjoy the taste of you better. Your throat feels dry as you watch him suck his own fingers. He peeks his eyes open and ushers his fingers to your mouth, shoving them inside your own and waits until you begin sucking at his fingers. 

It’s a little weird, tasting yourself plus his own saliva on his fingers, but the scene made you clench around nothing. You found it strangely hot.  When he pulls his fingers out, he wipes them against his trousers before sitting back against the couch, wrapping a hand around your waist, he tugs you up to his lap. “So how was that?” 

You brace your hands against his shoulders, pulling you as close to him as possible. “I loved it. Thank you, Eren.”

“It’s no problem.” He brings a hand to the back of your head, pushing you down to meet his lips in a soft kiss.

***

Eren sighs as he takes his jacket off, tossing it on his couch as he flops down next to Armin who was reading a book. “You stayed there a long time, it’s been like 30 minutes. Everything okay?”

“Yup.” Eren closes his eyes as he leans his head to rest on the back of the couch. Armin nods at his answer, flipping the page of his book before he remembers something. 

“Oh! I think your new friend forgot her phone.” Armin reaches inside his pocket, pulling out your phone. “I was cleaning Connie’s mess and saw it under one of the cushions.”

“Oh shit.” Eren takes the phone and examines it front to back. The lockscreen is a photo of you and Hitch, she’s doing a silly face at the camera and you’re doing a simple smile, one that he’s seen lots of times. It’s a cute photo, he thinks, the longer he stares at it. Infact, the longer he stares at you, he realises that you’re really attractive and it’s weird that he hasn’t seen you around school before. 

Eren doesn’t really like attention, which is ironic because he managed to befriend the loudest people in his school, Connie Springer and Jean Kirstein. Their presence is practically known everywhere because of their distinct voices. As much as he loves their company, he prefers being on the quiet end, another reason why he loves Armin so much.

No girl troubles, no drugs, no drama. 

But being friends with people like Connie and Jean, means they get a lot of girls. Eren has had his fair share of girls these past few years, not that he really enjoyed it that much. It’s gotten a bit repetitive and he hasn’t been sleeping around as often as his own friends, rather focusing on his education.

It wasn’t until his basketball coach had a meeting with the head of the school, telling him his grades were below par that he needed to step up. If he wanted to go pro, he at least needed an education, rather than just relying on his basketball skills alone. 

It’s been two months since he’d last slept with a girl, now trying his hardest to focus on school but the second you showed up last week, asking him to teach you how to have sex? It was weird, he was a little weirded out. But the stress of school was getting to him and it hit him that he needed some action.

Maybe that’ll get him back into the groove of things. 

So he accepted.

He still is a little shocked he’s never seen you around before. You’re really pretty first of all, and it’s surprising one of his friends hasn't tried moving to you yet. But at the same time, you’re not the most popular girl in school, you nor Hitch. You’re more on the academic side of things which sadly enough, doesn’t make you that known in school. To be known, you gotta be a cheerleader, or some sort of sports player. Eren can’t help but think it’s very cliche. 

He glances down at the phone once more and decides that he wants to meet up with you again. Maybe tomorrow, he’s going to spend his time to find you, use the phone as an excuse to talk to you again and maybe schedule your next ‘lesson’ together.

part two here

---

⁀➷  darling i’d wait for you | mikasa x f!reader au.

༊*·˚ summary: knight!mikasa x princess!reader 

༊*·˚ warnings: explicit (16+) smut. marking and a bit of degradation? scissoring [dont knock it until u try it. thank u.]

༊*·˚ a/n: I have always wanted to make this an AU with one of the guys from AOT or JJK but… it never flowed right like this one. mikasa just has my gay ass in a chokehold. pls. anyway, hope you all enjoy. im kinda proud of it. it did take way too long though..

it became an awful habit.

waiting every single night for the woman in the armored suit to escort you back into your chambers, to sneak glances in between the door as the chambermaids ran in and out of your room to prepare you for bed. sometimes, the maids would purposely leave the door open, just so your knight could peek glances in between undressing and your bathing.

however, there were times where you doubted yourself and wondered if you were reading your knight correctly. through her limited expressions and limited words, it was hard to decipher her true emotions. therefore, you relied heavily on the way mikasa’s eyes worked.

Keep reading